Work Text:
X April 2020 X
a throuple is better than a couple Group Chat
FRI 9:03 PM
Hyuna: i was washing my face
Hyuna: and i breathed bubbles up my nose!!!
Hyojong: i bet that fucking burned
Hyuna: and it hurt!!
Hyuna: babe it felt like it went into my brain :((
Hyojong: poor baby
Hyuna: come kiss it better
Hyojong: no thank you
Hyuna: :((
Hyuna: hoetaek!!!!
Hyuna: come kiss it better please
Hoetak: lets stop this
Hyuna: but my nose burnsss
Hoetaek: i mean whatever this is
Hoetaek: i don’t want to do it anymore
Hyojong: what are you talking about???
Hoetaek: idk what game you guys are playing but i’m tired
Hoetaek: this is just hurting me more
Hoetaek: i don’t think we can be friends
Hoetaek: i can’t get over these feelings like this so i think its for the best if we just stop
Hyuna: Hoetaek
[Hoetaek left]
Hyuna: wait
Hyojong: he’s gone…
Hyuna: what just happened???
Hyojong: idk
Hyuna: HYOJONG
Hyojong: what do you want me to say???
Hyuna: did we just get dumped wtf
Hyojong: we weren’t actually dating
Hyuna: we were getting there tho!!!
Hyojong: lets give him some space
Hyuna: no I want to tell him now
Hyojong: i don’t think now is the right time
Hyuna: this isn’t fair
Hyuna: I hate this
Hyojong: life isn’t fair
Hyuna: why aren’t you more upset?
Hyuna: it feels like every time we get close something happens to separate us and I’m tired of it!!!
Hyojong: maybe it wasn’t meant to be
Hyuna: bullshit
Hyojong: this isn’t a group chat anymore
Hyuna: why aren’t you taking this seriously
Hyojong: we just got rejected idk what you want me to do about it
Hyojong: babe?
Hyojong: hyuna?
Hyojong: hyunaaaaaa
Hyojong: don’t ignore me :(
Hyojong: fine
[Hyojong left]
Seen by Hyuna
Hyojong sets his phone down by the desktop, taking off his headphones as well. He might have just overreacted. But Fuck! Hyuna is right, she’s absolutely right, of course he can’t tell her that. Her ego is big enough as it is. Every time they get close, just when it’s within their grasp there is always something. He can’t help but feel the world is working against him. Perhaps it’s always been against him since day one.
His hand itches to grab his phone and call Hoetaek. He’s so tired of these constant misunderstandings. But it’s not him anymore. These aren’t just his words to say. There was a time when he’d stay up at night thinking about what if he told Hoetaek. But that time has passed. In those days it was just him fighting for a spot as an idol, but now it’s so much more. So much more is at stake. But maybe he doesn’t really care about the consequences as much. What if he finally said it?
Still, he remembers those days fondly even if he never tells Hoetaek. It must have been 2013 and the only thing on his mind was debuting. Music had not always been his passion, but in those days it quickly became his obsession. All he wanted to do was dance to the music that he wrote. It was that simple. And then things weren’t that simple. He met Hoetaek. Of course, he met Changgu and Hyunggu too. The special stage where the four of them were able to participate at the KBS Song Festival is one of his fondest memories. But meeting Hoetaek, that was a special day. They were still fresh faced twenty year olds, a little nervous and unsure but full of passion and a fire that only the cruel industry that they found themselves in could crush. He saw himself reflected in Hoetaek.
Hoetaek wanted everything so much. It made Hyojong feel like he could want it too. He didn’t want to debut if it wasn’t with Hoetaek by his side. With Hoetaek it never felt too greedy to want everything and more like a sunflower basking in the sunlight and reaching towards the sky. They’d get there together with late nights in the studio and numbing dance practices. With Hoetaek it felt like he was always facing the sun, like a sunflower.
They spent those days trading stories of failed debut attempts and exhausting dance practices that had them panting on the floor wondering if this was going to be the dance that finally made them puke. Hoetaek was still carrying around the defeat of leaving JYP Entertainment and failing at becoming a Chinese Idol. It was a dark shadow that followed him around and sometimes Hyojong wondered if he didn’t debut with Cube if he’d just pack everything up and disappear. That scared him most. Hoetaek could slip through his fingers at any moment and still, Hyojong couldn’t figure out what his feelings for him were. And if it would even be okay to share them.
2013 and 2014 were confusing times and truly tested his resolve, but having Hoetaek by his side made it all manageable. If he was asked then, he might have said that was love. Those feelings bubbling in his chest and threatening to spill out, they might have been love. He can’t go back and ask himself that now. He can just sit here and wonder what might have happened if he whispered those three words like his heart ached to back then. If everything would be different now? Would it be worse? Would he feel like this now?
Hyojong doesn’t know if he understands what love is. Doesn’t know if he can even love. Or maybe it’s that he has too much love to give. The feelings of platonic and romantic love lose their meaning to him when he remembers all the friends he’s made over the years. Each one of them takes a small piece of his heart as they exit his life. Is that love? Perhaps Hoetaek took an even bigger piece when he left. Can the love he has be different for each person? Does that lessen the meaning of love? Maybe all it can be is another frivolous word.
Meeting Hyuna was a different experience.
Does that make it love?
At first she was just the Sunbae in his company. A presence everyone felt in every room she entered. When she spoke they listened. When she smiled their hearts fluttered. Hyuna was just Hyuna. There aren’t a lot of words to capture the power she radiated as she walked the halls of Cube Entertainment. In most respects, she was unattainable. Hyojong didn’t even think much about it. Hyuna wasn’t someone you got to keep. She would enter your life like a tornado and leave just as fast. You could spend an entire lifetime chasing tornados, but catching one is unrealistic. And she swept into his life and shredded the remaining pieces of his heart so thoroughly it was a wonder how he continued on with his life.
He remembers the moment she confessed so vividly he wonders if it’s even real. Has he been dreaming this entire time? In 2015 he was asked to fill in for Ilhoon on one of Hyuna’s Roll Deep Stages. They spent days in the studio practicing until Hyojong felt like he wasn’t about to embarrass himself on stage with her. Still it was nerve wracking. But Hyuna had a way about her. A delicate way that made Hyojong feel that even if he stumbled she’d catch him. Metaphorically of course. He’d be mortified if he crushed her on stage.
Hyojong began to follow her around, as Hoetaek would put it, like a love sick puppy. Of course Hyojong didn’t miss the sad looks Hoetaek would give him. And it felt like there was so much to say between them when nothing could be said at all. They were set to be in a survival show and then hopefully in a boy group together. What could they do but trade longing looks in the studio and passing glances in the hallway. In the end Hyojong got eliminated. And Hoetaek didn’t.
That should have been the end. That should have been the last obstacle between him and Hoetaek. The final nail in the coffin. Miraculously he still got to debut with Pentagon and for just a little while longer he could stay by Hoetaek’s side. They could reach towards the sky at least one more time.
It was after 4minute disbanded and just before Pentagon debuted that Hyuna confessed. And suddenly something that seemed unattainable fell right into his lap. Hyuna wanted him and she wasn’t afraid. The consequences didn’t even seem to phase her as she so innocently told him that she liked him. The consequences be damned, Hyojong fell in love in that moment. Or perhaps it was that he finally allowed himself to acknowledge the emotions churning in his heart. He’s in love.
A knock at the door brings him back to the present. It’s been about thirty minutes since their spat, he has no doubt it’s Hyuna at the studio door. He’s just not sure if he’s ready to talk yet. But, he can’t leave her standing out there. If anything they’ll sit in silence until one of them is ready to talk.
He opens the door, unsurprised to see Hyuna and her fiery orange hair. She’s testing out hair colors for her upcoming comeback. The music video shooting is still a long way off. She’s been working so hard, he feels bad that this fight is distracting her. That his unresolved feelings for Hoetaek are once again coming between them. It’s different now. It’s not just his feelings anymore.
“Hyojong-ah.”
no jelly beans here Group Chat
SAT 3:48 PM
Hoetaek: i think i just ended a five year long relationship
Wheein: are you ok? what happened? do you want to talk about it?
Hoetaek: i’m fine, it wasn’t my relationship
Wheein: eye
Moonbyul: was gonna say
Moonbyul: thought you were single
Younghyun: who’s relationship?
Yeonjun: yeah spill the tea
Hoetaek: um
Soobin: spill the tea!
Hoetaek: hyuna and hyojong
Somin: WHAT DID YOU DO
Jackson: OH MY GOD
Jaehyung: HOW IN THE WHAT IN THE WHO
Somin: WHAT DID YOU DO
Hoetaek: i guess i told them i don’t want to be friends and they had a fight about it or something
Jackson: love is dead
Yongsun: i can’t believe you did that
Wheein: how do we fix this???
Moonbyul: i don’t think we do babe
Wheein: but we fixed taekook
Hyejin: i think we gotta leave this one alone
Somin: hyuna and hyojong are adults that have had fights before we shouldn’t interfere
Jackson: what do we do with hui tho
Hoetaek: me???
Matthew: yeah you fucked up dude
Hoetaek: i did what was best for me
Matthew: nah you took the easy way out
Younghyun: that’s not fair
Younghyun: you all know how difficult poly relationships can be
BamBam: he forgot the number one rule tho
BamBam: communication
Hoetaek: its not like they were communicating with me
Hoetaek: i don’t see what the problem is
Hoetaek: i made a decision thats best for me
Wheein: but you hurt hyuna and hyojong
Hoetaek: they were hurting me
BamBam: THAT’S WHY YOU COMMUNICATE
Jiwoo: ok everyone calm down yelling at each other isn’t going to fix anything
Hoetaek: whatever
[Hoetaek left]
Younghyun: well that went badly
BamBam: shut up
Hyejin: ok everyone take a break go relax there is no use snapping at each other
Seen by BamBam, Matthew, Wheein, Younghyun, 5+
Hoetaek just about throws his phone at the wall before regaining his composure and setting the phone down. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. ”
“That’s a lot of fucks.” Hongseok deadpans, not really in the mood for one of his leader’s temper tantrums. “Did they cancel one of your dates again?”
The smug look on Hongseok’s face only further pisses him off. “Oh fuck off.”
“Damn, what happened now?” Hongseok finally puts his book down and actually takes in the truly awful state Hoetaek has worked himself into.
“It’s nothing.” And it is. It has to be. He just needs to let this all go. Let Hyojong go. Let Hyuna go. Let all these group chats and the drama that comes with them go. “Don’t worry about it.” If he says it maybe it’ll actually happen. Maybe he’ll finally stop worrying about them. But if he’s being honest he’s been worrying about Hyojong since the day he met the boy. That feels like so long ago. Maybe even a lifetime ago.
gays only event Group Chat
TUE 12:04 AM
supportiveally_kingchul: break ups happen sometimes guys
supportiveally_kingchul: lets not turn this into something that it isn’t
Hyojong: what are you talking about
Hyojong: we didn’t break up
whepuppy: OH THANK GOD
twitterking18: we were very concerned
Hyojong: we had an argument then made up
Hyojong: who said we broke up???
minime: i’m so lost right now
imbigg: hui did
Hoetaek: hold on i didn’t
whepuppy: you did say you ended their five year relationship
Hoetaek: NO
Hoetaek: i said I THINK
Hoetaek: i didn’t know what actually happened
twitterking18: dude you made us think hyuna and hyojong broke up!
Hyojong: wow
Hyuna: please
Hyuna: hoetaek wanting nothing to do with us isn’t going to break us up
Hoetaek: whatever
imbigg: you three are terrible at communication
whepuppy: ^
supportiveally_kingchul: ^^
thewonderyears: ^^^
emo_fanboy18: ^^^^
hwalion: ^^^^^
jillo: ^^^^^^
somint: love you hyuna but they’re not wrong
anteater: so is the gc ok now?
imbigg: no
minime: i just thought we were talking about the weather…
Seen by Hyojong, Hyuna, thewonderyears, somint, 34+
Hyuna can’t take it anymore. She’s covered in a thin layer of sweat and her stomach is churning so much she feels like she might just empty her guts all over the practice room floor. Her backup dancers are watching funny tiktoks on their phones and don’t notice as she escapes to somewhere with less mirrors, less noise, just less of everything. The sensations have become too overwhelming.
She finds the studio Hyojong likes to use and immediately collapses face first onto the couch. “How did everything get so messed up?” She murmurs to herself. Just the other day the three of them were playing with Sogeum and Haetnim. Everything was fine. Hoetaek was laughing and playing with their dogs just like before. It was almost like old times during their Triple H promotions.
Perhaps that was the problem. Maybe she just craved that time so much that she wished for it to just be like it was before when it can’t be. Everything is different now. The three of them can’t have what they used to. Maybe that’s what upsets Hyuna the most. That feeling of regret. Back then she wished she asked Hoetaek to come with them. It’s selfish, but maybe he would have. It’s too late to know now. Is it still too late to ask anyway?
gays only event Group Chat
TUE 1:54 PM
frogkisser: taemin are we dating?
anteater: i’ve been trying for years. YEARS!
frogkisser: i didn’t think you were serious
anteater: fuck it
anteater: sungjong will you be my boyfriend?
frogkisser: get rid of your harem first
minime: what is happening
whepuppy: LOVE
ilikebutt: i cannot believe i’m witnessing this with my own eyes
sunbun: ditto
anteater: anything for you babe ;)
frogkisser: o-ok
twitterking18: not the stutter through text smh
mingo: i see how it is
mingo: just making me third wheel now
Hoetaek: i know how you feel
Hyuna: you were not a third wheel
anteater: MINGIAONFHJFISKHAJK
Hoetaek: i was the definition of a third wheel
Hoetaek: it was memed on stan twitter!!!
frogkisser: wait mingi do you like us?
Hyojong: we always included you in our relationship what are you talking about
mingo: oh wow what gave it away?
anteater: MINGI YOU WANT TO BE MY BOYFRIEND
Hoetaek: you never talked about it with me how am i supposed to know? i felt like a third wheel
Hyuna: we’re sorry hui
mingo: YES
Hyuna: we didn’t mean to hurt you
frogkisser: omg are we a thrupple now???
anteater: YES T.T
Hoetaek: thanks i guess
youknowleeknow: what in the fuck just happened
supportiveally_kingchul: i have no idea
Seen by anteater, jillo, mingo, Hoetaek, 48+
Hyojong slams the car door behind him as he pockets his phone. He already knows Hyuna has probably shut herself in the studio. She tends to do that when things become too overwhelming to deal with. The studio is a nice dark soundproof room, it’s almost too easy to just ignore the rest of the world in there. Pretend everything has stopped spinning on its axis even for just a few minutes.
He hopes he doesn’t run into anyone in the hallways. He doesn’t have time to stop and chat. He needs to find Hyuna. But he also doesn’t want to come off as rude. Everyone here works so hard for them. He’s grateful for it all, but Hyuna is his priority. She always has been. That’s what Hoetaek could never understand. Putting someone else above yourself. Hyuna meant more than any music career out there.
“Hyuna?” He finds her face down on the couch, almost comically screaming into the dark leather cushion. “You’re gonna suffocate.”
“If only.” She mumbles into the couch.
“Come on,” He pulls her up so that she can lean comfortably against his shoulder.
“We really fucked up.”
“Don’t say that.”
“We did though. We made him feel like a third wheel and we just kept doing it. Were we being selfish?” Hyojong lets her words sink in. He doesn’t know what to say. Was he selfish? Did he want too much? Hasn’t he always wanted too much? “We already pushed our luck with us. I think we’ve run out. It won’t ever work.”
“It won’t or we won’t let it?” The words roll easily off of Hyojong’s tongue. Because that’s always been the problem. He won’t let things work. Can’t let them work because then he has to deal with it. It’s easy to ignore a problem when it won’t work in the first place.
“You’ve always been upfront about your feelings for Hoetaek-ah. I know I was jealous about it at first, but communication is what made this all work. But we weren’t communicating with him. We kept having all these conversations about boundaries and feelings about him but never with him. Don’t you think that’s stupid?” And Hyuna, as always, makes a good point.
Hyojong takes a deep breath before just releasing all his stress with it. “You know at first, I didn’t want to admit it. Admitting it meant I was different. Everyone expects you to be straight, anything else is a flaw in the system. But even then, people understand being gay. You can explain attraction to one sex, ‘cause in the end isn’t straight and gay just opposite sides of the same coin? It’s bisexual that people don’t get. It’s the thought of you could be straight one day and gay the next, but nobody gets that you’re that way every day. I’m not straight because I’m dating you and gay because I like Hoetaek. I’m just bisexual. People don’t get it, it's too different from the norm for them.”
“That’s because society has deemed sexuality as a rigid unchanging role in your life. Sexuality should and always should be viewed as fluid and ever changing just like humans change day by day. So does your sexuality. We’ve put rigid expectations on sexuality, gender and monogamy. What defines a relationship? What makes a woman a woman? They’re all just societal constructs. Life is like a river, you can’t expect it to stand still forever.” It’s not the first time they’ve descended into deep conversations about gender identity and societal restraints. Hyuna has a passion for breaking expectations. She’s never specified one way or another about her identity, but in the end she’s just Hyuna. It’s times like this when he remembers that Hyuna laughs in the face of labels. No label could define her and no box could ever contain her. She’s just Hyuna. A label all her own.
“I love having these talks with you. You make me feel seen, feel heard. You have no idea how validating you’ve been in my life and how much I appreciate it.” Hyojong presses a gentle kiss to her temple. “We should have included Hoetaek in them.”
“Would you like to? Right now, let’s do it!”
“Maybe we should give him some space.” Hyojong suggests instead. Just another excuse to push the inevitable back, even if it’s just one day more.
“Maybe it’s time you tell me why you never confessed to Hoetaek back then. I mean, he was in the picture way before I was. You should be his boyfriend right now, not mine. So why?” Hyuna presses, and it’s not the first time she’s asked. Hyojong just never has an answer.
He still doesn’t. All he has is a shrug to offer. Feelings are complicated. Sexuality is complicated. Having feelings for a boy he has no business liking in the eyes of society is even more complicated. Especially when they were supposed to have a working relationship. “I didn’t want to mess things up.”
“But we did anyway. Right? We messed everything up anyway, haven’t we? Broke our contracts, nearly got ourselves blacklisted, almost alienated our entire fanbase, disbanded Triple H, we made the members of Pentagon suffer, and maybe the worst of it all, we still hurt Hoetaek. We messed everything up. So why not mess it up even more?” Hyuna, as always, makes a good point. Hyojong just isn’t sure he’s ready for that step.
“I was too scared back then. And it’s not like I did what I was afraid of and the outcome wasn’t so bad, it was. We did mess everything up. It was horrible and I don’t want to do it again. I don’t want to put Hoetaek through all of that again .” Hyojong’s voice trembles around the word ‘again’. “We made our decision and it blew up in our faces. Things might be fine right now, but it was hell to get here.”
“Shouldn’t that be his decision?” He hates that even when he’s being stupid, she’s always right. She just always knows what to say. Even when he’s made an absolute mess of his mind. She can always manage to sort through all the bullshit. “Even if he doesn’t want to take the chances we have, the least we can do is offer him the option to. We’ve taken the offer off the table before we even heard his answer.”
“Why did you never confess back then? I know after the first day of shooting you were in love.” Hyojong decides to put her on the defensive this time, tired of sorting through his own feelings and emotions. Maybe hearing Hyuna’s will add clarity to his own mess.
Hyuna blushes at that. “I don’t really know. I mean, it was so easy to confess to you. You were so cute and sweet. You wore your emotions on your face like you weren’t ever afraid. I just knew that you wouldn’t hurt me. It felt so natural to tell you, but with Hoetaek, I just don’t know. He’s guarded, like he’s been hurt one too many times. He’s like a whirlwind of emotions, I was afraid of getting swept up and then of course there is you. Relationships are about partnership and despite knowing how you felt about him I didn’t know how to bring him into our relationship. I didn’t know how to put us all on equal footing. Well, look at how that turned out. We made even a bigger mess of it.”
“I guess we just kept guessing at what he was feeling and not ever actually asking.”
“We’re both dumb.” Hyuna deadpans.
“Do you want to bring him into our relationship?” Hyojong asks.
“Isn’t that something we decide on together?” Hyuna throws back.
“This whole communicating thing is very hard.” Hyojong whines.
“Don’t pout.” Hyuna pokes at his puffed out cheeks. He’s truly adorable. “I do want to. Despite all the changes in our lives, the way Hoetaek makes me feel never changes. And if anything, I want to at least fix our friendship. He’s infuriating honestly. Always has been, but he adds a spark.”
“I do too.” Hyojong agrees. “I think my feelings have changed over the years. We aren’t the same as when we were trainees, but still I think I’d always wonder about ‘what if’.”
“Then maybe tomorrow I'll add you both back to our throuple group chat?” Hyuna suggests.
“Give it a little more time. You know how he gets when he’s upset. And maybe change the name of the group chat first.”
“Fine,” Hyuna reluctantly agrees. “I need to get back to practice. I’m sure my dancers are wondering where I am.”
“And I need to go walk the puppies.” Hyojong says, standing up. This just wasn’t a conversation for over the phone.
“Give them big kisses for me!” Hyuna hollers as she walks down the hall back to the practise room. Hyojong smiles at her retreating figure. At the time he wondered if he made the right choice. If Hoetaek was right to think he was being an idiot and throwing everything away for a relationship that might not last. He knows now that Hoetaek wasn’t right. Hyuna was worth it. He wonders now if they’re worth it for Hoetaek.
X May 2020 X
a throuple is better than a couple Group Chat
SAT 11:33 PM
[Hyuna added Hyojong]
Hyuna: what should we change the name to?
Hyojong: why are we doing it now?
Hyuna: I want to
Hyojong: just make it simple
Hyojong: don’t want him getting suspicious before we’ve even said anything
Hyuna: true
Hyojong: i thought i had to leave cuz you wanted to go to bed
Hyuna: I didn’t lie babe
Hyuna: I just failed
Hyojong: i can’t sleep either
Hyojong: i think i saw hoetaek the other day
Hyuna: wait same
Hyojong: did we both see him?
Hyuna: were we together?
Hyojong: i was leaving the pnation building
Hyuna: I was on the roof of the pnation building!
Hyojong: omg describe who you saw
Hyuna: very stoic face -_-
Hyuna: *smol
Hyuna: .:.:. polka dot vest .:.:.
Hyuna: sporting a mullet @@
Hyuna: bowtie ><
Hyojong: ok yeah we saw the same person
Hyojong: what’s with the ::..
Hyuna: I was trying to describe a polka dot vest
Hyojong: and the @@
Hyuna: don’t you think it looks like the a has a mullet?
Hyojong: no…
Hyuna: >< this is a bowtie
Hyojong: very creative
Hyuna: don’t be sarcastic with me I was creating a vivid picture to help
Hyojong: what was with that polka dot vest tho
Hyuna: it was cute
Hyojong: maybe for the circus
Hyuna: are you in a mood?
Hyojong: no
Hyuna: you sound like you’re in a mood
Hyojong: i’m just frustrated with this song i’m working on
Hyuna: OH
Hyuna: wait
Hyuna: did you go back to the studio?
Hyojong: yes
Hyuna: oh my god go to bed
Hyojong: yes mom
[Hyuna changed the group chat name to three hyunateers]
Hyojong: i hate this name
Hyuna: too bad <3
Hyuna: send a heart back >:(
Seen by Hyojong
three hyunateers Group Chat
SUN 9:41 AM
[Hyuna added Hoetaek]
Hyuna: hi
Hyuna: you don’t have to answer us if you don’t want to
Hyuna: we just want to apologize for the way we treated you
Hyuna: and maybe we can find a time to meet up and talk about it?
Seen by Hyojong
three hyunateers Group Chat
SUN 12:13 PM
Hoetaek: i’d prefer you just say what you need to here
Hoetaek: i’m busy
Hyuna: oh
Hyojong: we realized that we made a lot of decisions about the three of us without talking to you and we’re very sorry for not communicating with you and instead just expecting you to understand our feelings
Hoetaek: thanks
Hyuna: could you please talk to us
Hoetaek: why
Hyojong: we’re trying to fix this
Hoetaek: fix what?
Hoetaek: i’m not interested in being friends or picking up where we left off we all just need to move on
Hoetaek: thanks for the apology tho
Hyuna: we don’t want to move on
Hoetaek: oh well
Hoetaek: i’m not interested in being your third wheel anymore
Hyojong: we aren’t interested in that either
Hyojong: i was too afraid back then of what everyone might think, but i’ve faced the backlash now and i saw my career end right before my eyes
Hyojong: i’m on my second chance right now and i didn’t think that would be possible, i certainly don’t think a third chance is possible
Hyojong: if i blow it this time then i can kiss all my dreams goodbye and i’m prepared to take that chance now when i wasn’t when we first met
Hoetaek: what are you getting at
Hyojong: i was too scared back then to tell you how much i like you
Hyojong: to tell you that i think i’ve been in love with you since the first time we performed on stage together
Hyojong: i was terrified of what people might say if they found out how i feel about you
Hyojong: you were afraid back then too right?
Hoetaek: yea
Hyojong: i don’t think i could tell you right now how much i like you if it weren’t for hyuna
Hyojong: how much she has helped me accept myself
Hyojong: you’ve never been a third wheel to me, but i was selfish and wanted to keep you by my side even if it meant you weren’t happy
Hyojong: i’m so sorry
Hyojong: i should have talked with you about my feelings long before it got to this point
Hoetaek: i’m sorry too
Hoetaek: i let things fester and get out of hand cuz i was selfish too
Hoetaek: i didn’t want you guys to leave me behind, i couldn’t let go even if it was making me miserable but i couldn’t even tell you about how i felt
Hyuna: how do you feel?
Hoetaek: i don’t know anymore
Hoetaek: i’m just mad now
Hyuna: I love you Hoetaek
Hyuna: there isn’t much to say about it, I don’t have a long explanation like hyo does
Hyuna: you made my heart flutter the first day on set for 365 fresh and you’ve been my pretty sunflower ever since
Hyuna: I’ve wanted to selfishly keep you by my side this entire time and I was wrong for that
Hyuna: I’m sorry
Hoetaek: this is a lot to think about
Hyuna: sorry for springing this all on you right now
Hyuna: you don’t have to tell us anything right now whenever you’re ready
Hyojong: just know you’ve never been a third wheel to us
Hoetaek: you just want to be friends again?
Hyuna: no
Hyuna: we want to still be selfish
Hyuna: we wanna take you on dates and spoil you and we want you to be ours
Hoetaek: that’s not fair
Hyojong: we know
Hyojong: we’ll understand if you don’t want to
Hyojong: but we’re gonna try out this whole concept of communication
Hyuna: misunderstandings are so 2016
Hoetaek: i need to think about this
Hyuna: ok
Seen by Hoetaek, Hyojong
Hoetaek isn’t very hungry anymore. Actually, he’s lost his appetite entirely. He’s wanted this for so long. Has he really though? Maybe once this was all he wanted. But he has pro conned this scenario in his mind so many times at this point it's almost second nature for him to start listing out all the cons right now. This never goes his way. This never ends with him being happy. Something has to be sacrificed. He might have loathed it but there was a plus to keeping everything between the three of them vague. Deniability. It’s not vague anymore. He knows exactly where he stands with the two of them now. Maybe back in 2017 he would have jumped at this. Just the chance to be with them. But it’s not 2017 anymore. He’s not that naive anymore.
“You look like you ate something rotten. Did Hyunggu send you something weird again?” Wooseok asks, casually shoving a whole soup dumpling into his mouth.
“You’re gonna burn your tongue.” Hoetaek rolls his eyes at the tall maknae.
“Not if I swallow it fast enough.”
“You’re gonna burn your throat.”
“Stop avoiding my question. What’s wrong?”
“Just tell me I’m an idiot for even considering dating Hyuna and Hyojong.” Hoetaek deadpans.
“No one is ever an idiot for considering to date Hyuna noona. Hyojong though, you’d have to be pretty dumb. No idea what Hyuna sees in him.” Wooseok shoves another dumpling into his mouth.
“Are you calling me dumb?” Hoetaek narrows his gaze at the tall child.
“Yes. The fact that you and noona have the same taste in men is baffling.”
“Yah! I’m buying you lunch right now, show some respect.”
“Sorry hyung. I’m just saying.” Wooseok shrugs. “Are you still hung up on them?”
“I don’t think I’ll ever get over them.” Hoetaek mumbles.
“What did you see on your phone that brought this on? Are they on the news again?” Wooseok asks instead, careful to side step the messy conversation of Hoetaek’s doomed one sided love that’s been going on for a nauseatingly long time.
“No. If I tell you this has to stay between us.” Wooseok immediately agrees. Obviously Hoetaek knows by now that ‘us’ when it comes to Wooseok means Yuto and Hyunggu too. If he doesn’t, well, then that’s his own fault. “They both just confessed to me.”
“What the fuck!” Wooseok shouts, immediately gathering the attention of the few people in the restaurant around them. There aren’t many due to covid restrictions. Hoetaek never thought he’d be thankful for that.
“Shut up!” Hoetaek hisses at the younger.
“What do you mean confessed?” Wooseok brings his voice down to a whisper.
“I mean exactly that. I just got two separate love confessions.”
“Fuck,” Wooseok exhales, blowing his bangs out of his eyes in the process. “So, like, you’re dating them now? How the hell does that work?”
“No no, I told them I need to think about this.”
“What’s to think about? You’ve been pining for them for literal years. I’ve been watching you mope around for at least four years now. It’s just sad at this point.” Wooseok proceeds to shove the last soup dumpling into his mouth.
“There is a lot to think about. First I’d be entering an established relationship which could be messy. Most important is that they’re a public couple and if I were to start a relationship with them, my involvement in it won’t be public. So I’d be a secret. Not to mention Hyuna and Hyojong are alright, and Hyuna and I would be alright, but Hyojong and I. I don’t know what will happen if that ever gets out. So much can go wrong.” Hoetaek explains.
“Sounds like you already made your decision.” Wooseok says.
“What?”
“No. It’s not worth the risk. Hyojong might be willing to take that risk cause all he’ll fuck up is himself and Hyuna. If you do, Pentagon is finished. We won’t bounce back from a scandal like that. We’ll be rotting in the basement just like CLC if Cube doesn’t immediately disband us.” Wooseok grimaces at that. Cube doesn’t exactly know how to handle their groups and what is happening to CLC currently is a prime example of it. Every group Cube gets their hands on crumbles eventually. Beast, 4minute, CLC, do they want Pentagon to be next?
“Our situation is nothing like what is going on with CLC. And if anything I’ll just get blacklisted, Pentagon will be fine.” Hoetaek defends.
“Wow, you’re actually serious? You’re our leader. Hyojong was one thing, but you need to think about what’s best for all of us.” Wooseok argues.
“You were just telling me to date them five minutes ago. Now you’re telling me not to?” Hoetaek groans.
“You made a good point. Listen if it was Soojin I’d say fine. Y’know what? Even if it was Hyojong I’d say fine. But both of them? There is no way anyone would understand that. If you told me there is no way anyone would ever find out about you three then I’d say go for it. But I don’t think there is enough money in the world to stop dispatch from blowing this one up.” Wooseok continues to argue. Hoetaek gets what he’s saying. As a matter of fact he agrees. They’re all thoughts he’s already had a billion times. It still hurts to hear it. He was hoping his maknae would tell him he’s being paranoid, just follow his heart. But that’s not the reality of the situation.
“I’m not the only one.” Hoetaek mumbles, absolutely defeated.
“What?”
“I’m not the only one. You might not understand it and maybe the public won’t either, but I’m not weird or strange—”
“I’m not saying you are.” Wooseok tries to amend.
“There’s a thruple in Got7, in TXT, a quartet in Mamamoo and in KARD. This isn’t unusual.” Hoetaek explains.
“Ar—are you telling me Mamamoo and KARD are da—dating each other? Li—like all of them?” Wooseok asks, absolutely shocked? His jaw is almost on the ground.
“They’re all willing to risk everything. Why can’t I?”
“I don’t know. Do you want me to clear your conscience and just tell you to go for it damn the consequences? In the end nobody can tell you to stop. What will happen will happen, you just need to be prepared for it to all go wrong. If you do this and it gets revealed then that’s it. Pentagon is over. Their solo careers are over. People will talk about this for years. It’s not a chance I would take. But that’s just me.” Wooseok pauses to pick his next words carefully. “You’ve always been more cautious than me. You must really want this.” Wooseok comes to that realization as he says it, as if it’s occurring to him only because he’s hearing it out of his own mouth. His leader wants this.
“I do.” Hoetaek mumbles, unable to make eye contact with Wooseok, he leaves his eyes trained on his half empty plate of food.
“You should tell the other members. They shouldn’t be blindsided if this all comes out.”
“I will. Let’s go. We have a meeting in twenty minutes.” Hoetaek goes up to the counter to pay their bill. He still has so much to think about.
gays only event Group Chat
THUR 9:24 PM
overwatcher: make better choices
GucciBoy: i chose to marry you
overwatcher: awww
imbigg: barf
imbigg: you two are not fun to hangout with
FANCYUUU: like you mark and jackson are any better
imbigg: we’re cute
FANCYUUU: keep telling yourself that
imbigg: :p
Hyuna: I think they’re cute
FANCYUUU: you think everything is cute
Hyuna: I don’t think lobsters are cute
imbigg: what
imbigg: that’s so random
Hyojong: we’ve had this discussion before
Hoetaek: wait i remember this
Hoetaek: you think crabs are cute but lobsters are their ugly cousin
Hyuna: and I am correct
overwatcher: i think lobsters are fine
GucciBoy: maybe fine to eat
Hyuna: crab is better
Hyuna: omg hyo make me a crab dinner
Hyojong: it’s almost 10pm
Hyuna: idc
Hoetaek: i’ll make you a crab dinner
imbigg: OMG
FANCYUUU: don’t mind him carry on
Hyuna: are there any stores open right now?
Hoetaek: probably
Hyuna: okie! crab dinner at my place!
overwatcher: are we all invited?
Hyuna: no just Hoetaek
Hyojong: what about me???
Hyuna: no <3
Hoetaek: x_x
Hyuna: hyutaek time
Hoetaek: why does your name get to go first?
Hyuna: I’m older
Hyojong: this isn’t an argument you’ll win trust me
imbigg: to be fair hoena sounds bad
Hoetaek: ok fair
Hoetaek: hoejong?
Hyojong: sure makes no difference to me
Hyuna: but how do we combine all three?
overwatcher: tae is good at this
GucciBoy: hold please
FANCYUUU: so is this like official? should i tell heechul to update his power point
Hyojong: uh no
Hoetaek: we’re just working on communicating better at the moment
FANCYUUU: oh ok
FANCYUUU: thats good at least
GucciBoy: this is so hard
GucciBoy: hyutaekjong?
GucciBoy: idk your names don’t mesh
GucciBoy: can we just refer to you three as triple h
Hyuna: Cube was really uncreative with that one
Hyojong: very lame
Hoetaek: i’m getting the crab now
Hyuna: YEAH
Hyojong: am i really not invited?
Hyuna: sorry babe
FANCYUUU: this is surreal
overwatcher: for real
GucciBoy: bambam stole my husband again :(
FANCYUUU: take a lesson out of triple h’s book. sharing is caring
GucciBoy: :(((
imbigg: :P
Seen by FANCYUUU, overwatcher, Hyojong, Woohyun, 14+
X June 2020 X
three hyunateers Group Chat
WED 3:04 PM
Hoetaek: hey guys
Hyuna: HUI
Hyuna: are you gonna come over today?
Hoetaek: aren’t you busy?
Hyuna: I can always make time for you
Hyojong: i was gonna take the dogs for a walk in like ten minutes if you wanted to come?
Hoetaek: ok i’ll be there
Hoetaek: but i actually wanted to tell you guys something
Hyuna: OH
Hoetaek: i think i’m going to enlist soon
Hoetaek: and by soon i think maybe before christmas
Hyuna: that’s so soon
Hoetaek: we have the entire summer and autumn
Hyuna: that’s so soon ಥ_ಥ
Hoetaek: i just think its time
Hyojong: is this cause jinho enlisted?
Hoetaek: i guess
Hoetaek: its just i might as well get this process going ya know?
Hoetaek: the sooner i enlist the sooner i get back, right?
Hyuna: true :/
Hyojong: should i enlist too?
Hyuna: NOT AT THE SAME TIME
Hoetaek: keep noona company while i’m gone ;)
Hyojong: don’t wink at me
Hyuna: he’s blushing
Hyojong: I AM NOT
Hoetaek: stop being cute
Hyojong: i’m leaving
Hyuna: he’s adorable when he’s flustered
Hyuna: we’re gonna miss you :(
Hyuna: text us every day!
Hoetaek: of course
Hoetaek: again tho we have months
Hoetaek: i’m just thinking ahead
Hoetaek: and um i was also thinking
Hoetaek: is hyo still here?
Hyojong: yes
Hoetaek: ok
Hoetaek: so maybe after i finish enlistment we can talk again about our feelings and ya know
Hyojong: i don’t think i do please specify
Hyuna: HUIIIIIIIIII
Hoetaek: hyojong-ah x_x
Hyojong: full sentences bub
Hyuna: please say it ಥ_ಥ
Hoetaek: ugh you guys are insufferable
Hoetaek: i just think that after enlistment is behind me i’ll be ready to talk about a relationship like that
Hyojong: like what
Hyuna: the suspense is killing me
Hoetaek: you’re killing me
Hoetaek: you know!
Hyojong: well i wanna hear it
Hyojong: i bared my soul to you, give us something
Hoetaek: i like you
Hoetaek: you jerk
Hyojong: :)
Hyuna: and me?
Hoetaek: yea you’re alright too
Hyojong: you suck at this
Hoetaek: you’re one to talk
Hyojong: valid point
Hyuna: I’m putting it in my calendar!
Hoetaek: you don’t even know when i get discharged????
Hyuna: fine I’ll put a reminder to tell me to mark your discharge day
Hoetaek: i don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up it’ll be like two years things could change
Hyojong: we’ll always be here waiting for you
Hyuna: whenever you’re ready, sunflower
Hoetaek: thanks
Hyojong: don’t cry
Hoetaek: i’m not crying
Hyuna: you definitely are
Hoetaek: i just said thanks
Hyojong: please i know when you’re crying
Hoetaek: don’t you think that’s weird
Hyuna: nope
Hyojong: stop crying and come walk the dogs with me
Hoetaek: it’s hard
Hyuna: aw my little sunflower
Hyojong: if you hurry up i’ll even give you a hug
Hoetaek: you’re so considerate
Hyojong: ;p
Seen by Hyuna, Hoetaek
X August 2022 X
Hyuna gasps as she sees his smile. Her pretty sunflower. She wasn’t able to greet him because of the cameras but the minute he stepped inside her apartment that all changed. Hoetaek caught her easily, fully expecting the hug coming his way. Hyojong immediately plasters himself against Hoetaek’s back. He’d been expecting that too but maybe one at a time, not both all at once. The dogs are barking at their feet and Haetnim is pouncing at his leg. That doesn’t matter. He wraps his arms around Hyuna even tighter, burying his face into her soft yet fried hair. He didn’t even go home to change out of his uniform. He went immediately there. Seeing their faces again was his top priority. And of course he saw them on vacation when he didn’t go back home, but this is different.
Hyuna lets out a soft hiccup as she tries to muffle her sniffling in Hoetaek’s shoulder. Hyojong’s arms snake around his midsection, pulling him tight against his chest. His face buries into Hoetaek’s other free shoulder. All Hoetaek can do is stand there and enjoy the sandwich he’s found himself in. He definitely missed this. His last vacation they spent the entire time burritoed on the couch, Hyuna laying on top of him and Hyojong coiled around them both like a snake. He really missed this.
“You’re back.” Hyojong mumbles into the side of his neck, sending a shiver down his spine at the feel of the younger man’s lips against his skin. They really need to talk first.
“Did you think I wouldn’t?” Hoetaek tries to joke.
Hyojong snuggles even closer, completely melting into him and Hyuna slides her hands underneath his shirt. She’s warm. They both are. It’s the end of August but the weather hasn’t turned yet. He’s starting to heat up, but maybe the heat pooling in his gut isn’t from the August weather. They seriously need to talk first.
“It was too long.” Hyojong mumbles, pressing a soft kiss where his neck meets his shoulder.
“We need to talk.” Hoetaek finally says even though at this point he’s letting Hyojong support most of his weight and Hyuna’s weight. The dogs have quieted down, but are still patiently waiting at their feet for their turn to get some attention from Hoetaek.
“What’s there to talk about?” Hyuna joins their stunted conversation. “We missed you. You missed us. And all those feelings we told you about two years ago haven’t waivered. Right?” Hyuna is looking up at him with the softest glassy eyes with unshed tears about to spill over onto her rosy cheeks.
“Right,” Hoetaek murmurs back. He really wants to kiss her right now. The way she’s looking at him and her hands trailing along the small of his back. Hyojong supports both of them and his breath fanning against Hoetaek’s neck. All the sensations are maddening. “But communication.” He says as he gently cradles her face in his hands, brushing away at a stray tear that slips down her cheek.
“We can communicate all you want to after you kiss me.” And that’s the last straw for Hoetaek. Hyojong’s hands slide through his hair as Hyuna’s soft lips brush against his own. He doesn’t really know where to place his own hands now as they fall away from her face. He settles for her hips. Hyojong lets out a low groan in his ear that has Hoetaek going weak at the knees. And Hyuna’s lips are so soft and warm against his own. He could get addicted to this. To them. Maybe he already is.
He feels so dumb for taking this long. They seperate, but Hyuna barely gives him an inch to turn towards Hyojong. They’re at an awkward angle only half turned toward each other, but Hyojong’s lips easily find his. They’re a little rough against his own, nothing like Hyuna’s soft lips. He feels Hyojong’s tongue slide against his bottom lip, pulling a moan from his own lips. It’s really taken them too long to do this. He feels Hyuna’s hand tugging at his shirt and sliding underneath the material again. Her fingers are a little colder against his flushed skin. Hyojong’s grip tightens around the nape of his neck as he pulls away.
They’re breathing hard. Hoetaek almost can’t catch his breath.
“Fuck,” Hyojong groans, his lips red and swollen. Hoetaek can’t look away. “We should have been doing this when we were trainees.” Hoetaek can’t help the stupid smile that spreads over his face at Hyojong’s words.
“Good things take time.” Hyuna mumbles as she rests her head against Hoetaek’s back.
“We certainly did.” And Hoetaek doesn’t have to say it, but it was worth it. This moment alone was worth it, even if they can never be public with their relationship. He finally feels content.
“Let’s get you out of this uniform.” And what Hyuna wants she gets. Hyojong certainly has never been able to say no to her.