Work Text:
*5 years later*
You had taken a day off from work.
Aaron had insisted that you worked too hard and you should take a break.
He even offered to take a day as well to take care of the kids.
But you had been so stubborn.
And so Aaron took out the big guns.
He told Rafael that you needed a break.
And of course, the bastard went ahead and told work you were going to be on vacation.
But for a week.
So you went and did the same.
He was amused but didn't complain as you did.
Which brought you here. At the back of your house facing the woods.
"Where are los changos?" he asked.
"Do not call my kids monkeys Rafa," you said annoyed, "they're with Aaron at the zoo."
"Enserió bonita? You're still upset with me?"
"Yes, I am. I don't need a week off."
Rafael rolled his eyes as he mimicked what you said in his best feminine voice.
You lightly punched his arm.
"You treat Aaron like this?" He said as he rubbed his arm.
"No this is exclusively just you."
"Wow I feel so special," he sarcastically said.
The both of you sat in silence as your frustration subsided.
It was nice actually.
Not having to worry about anything for a week.
You would finally be able to catch up on Netflix and spend more time with the kids.
You glanced at Rafael who had leaned back in the chair with eyes closed.
You had to admit he looked very handsome like that.
And then you did the same as your mind wandered to a thought you hadn't had in ages.
What if you had chosen Rafa that day instead of Aaron?
Don't get anyone wrong you were happy with Aaron but what if...
"Bonita what are you thinking," Rafa asked interrupting your thoughts.
For some reason, you felt like a teenager caught doing something they weren't supposed to be doing and your cheeks flushed red as you quickly said, "Nothing."
This only caused the ADA to raise his eyebrows at you.
"Mmmhmmm. Mentirosa. Then why are your cheeks red?" There was a pause before his own cheeks went red, "actually you know what I don't want to know."
You laughed at what he was implying.
"It's not that," you kept laughing, "but your reaction was priceless."
"I've permanently scarred for life thanks to you," he said refusing to look at you.
"Okay, I'll tell you what I was really thinking to get it out of your head."
"Is it PG-13?"
You groaned. "Yes oh my goodness."
"Okay pues. Let's hear it."
You took a deep breath.
"I was thinking about the day I got married."
"Really? That's what had you all-."
"Shhh, I'm not done. I was thinking what if I would have chosen you instead of Aaron that day."
Rafael's jaw dropped and his eyes went wide.
"What?!"
All of a sudden you were self-conscious.
"Nothing forget it. Never mind," you say regretting ever bringing it up in the first.
The both of you sat there in silence.
"I think about it too you know," he said after a while.
You turned towards him.
"Oh," was all you could say still embarrassed.
"Wha-"
"I loved you you know," you blurted out.
Rafael looked at you incredulously.
"Are you drunk?"
You laughed cautiously.
"I tell you I loved you and you ask me if I'm drunk."
"Did you actually?"
"Get drunk? No. Love you? Yes."
Rafael scooted his chair so close to yours they were slightly topping each other.
"When?" He said softly.
You looked at him before speaking, "If I tell you will you be okay?"
"Mmm maybe," he said.
"No Rafa I'm serious. I know this is a rough topic for you and if you can't handle it I don't want to lose my best friend."
Rafael sighed before grabbing your hands.
"Whatever you tell me I'll be okay. I've come to terms with it and there is no way I would ever leave you. Never."
You took a deep breath.
"When you left for college."
"Really?"
You looked at him as you interlocked your fingers with his and nodded.
"When you left I was a mess. I knew you were literally a couple hours away but I was miserable. I wanted to see you be with you. I realized I loved you and that made me so upset because I thought you would never think of me like that. I literally would just sulk around your mom's apartment and wear your hoodies and she would just feed me and comfort me. I was such a drama queen your mom must hate me. I was so excited when you called and visited. And you always brought me something and you did stuff with me and you were just so freaking charming and handsome," you paused realizing that you were crying.
And then you looked at Rafael and he was crying too.
"I didn't-what was-why didn't you tell me?" He struggled to get out a complete sentence.
"I was scared of messing our friendship up. Very much like I am now," you cried.
"But I loved you too," his voice broke.
"I didn't know that!"
"I know that!"
You realized your hands were still locked together and you let go trying to space yourself.
He was never supposed to know.
He was hurting because of you.
You let out a sob before Rafael came and hugged you.
"I'm sorry Rafa all I'm doing is hurting you," you sobbed into his shoulder.
"Shh amor. It's okay," he said into your ear as you felt his tears on your cheek.
The world really was a cruel place.
You pulled out of the embrace and tried to clean up your face.
There was snot and a mixture of both your tears.
You felt awful.
Physically, mentally, and emotionally.
So much for vacation.
"Are you okay Rafa?" You asked concerned.
"I'll be okay." He said giving you a sad smile that made your heartache.
You rested your head on his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around you and the two of you sat there watching the birds come in and out of the woods.
An idea came to you.
"We should write it."
"Hmm?"
"We should write what could have happened if we would've ended up together."
Rafael looked at you flabbergasted.
"Are you pregnant?"
"What? No. It would be like therapy. And then at the end, we'll burn them or something."
Rafael contemplated your idea.
"Okay fine. Then we both get it out of our systems and we can move on."
"Exactly what I was thinking!" You said.
You smiled at him and he looked a bit confused but smiled back.
"Are you sure you're not pregnant? You literally changed moods in less than 10 seconds."
You rolled your eyes.
"I'm not pregnant," you stood up, "I'm gonna go get my computer so we can start."
"What?! You want to start right now?"
"Yeah, I mean no better time than the present."
"Dios mio bonita," he said sighing as you went inside to retrieve your laptop.
When you came back you went into full focus mode.
"Okay, so I think we should start with the wedding and work back from there."
Rafael nodded.
"And we should write in the third person because then we'll be able to include both our thoughts and get done faster."
"Great now I'm writing a novel about my life," he said sarcastically.
"Will you relax? This will be fun."
"If you say so."
"Alright then," you said as you opened a new document and began typing.