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“Fufufu, this is quite nice~” Dazai whirls on his heels, doing a 360-degree survey of the entirety of the office. He nods and claps his hands in satisfaction. “This Ability is very, very interesting, I think we should just let it stay~”
Members of the Agency are too busy with their own affairs to bother dealing with the too-happy Dazai. Atsushi, Kyouka and Kenji are whispering together. The Tanizaki siblings have already made themselves scarce. Yosano is helping Ranpo tease the poor, blushing Poe—not that any Ability is needed to make the stars in his eyes appear whenever he’s in the great detective’s presence. The President is contentedly playing with the stray cats that follow the scent of cat food from his fingertips.
Unfortunately, this means that the task to set things to rights is left on Kunikida’s hands. Very stressed hands, because he’s too appalled by the amount of power this Ability has given Dazai.
“Ah, even if you think a lot of mean things about me, you can’t fool the stardust that lingers around you, Kunikida-kun~”
“This Ability is full of faults,” the bespectacled man insists. “I am not starstruck whatsoever when I deal with you!”
“Whatever you say~” A cheerful singsong. “I don’t blame you though, everyone is a little bit starstruck in my presence, it cannot be helped~”
Today’s case—Yokohama’s citizens wake up to their eyesight installing extra filters in the form of glimmering stardust. It supposedly appears to indicate the feelings that others feel towards the user, shining brighter the more starstruck they are over the user’s presence.
It’s thanks to an Ability User that’s been subject—very willingly, the Special Services Division insists—to some experiments that have gone haywire. After presumably getting appalled by the treatment of very willing experimental test subjects, said Ability User escaped and is now nowhere to be found. Simultaneously as a souvenir and a smokescreen, his Ability now affects the entirety of the city.
“It even managed to go past the nullification Ability.” Dazai is very pleased with this development. “Truly interesting.”
Kunikida harrumphs in an attempt to get him on track. “Our client is the Special Services Division! They have specifically requested for you to nullify this Ability!”
“Ah, are you trying to impress Ango? You have such bad taste, Kunikida-kun!”
Instead of sputtering in embarrassment, the bespectacled man simply sputters in speechlessness, unable to follow the jumps in Dazai’s teasing. Ah, how boring! It’s so much more fun to tease someone who’d go breathless with rage!
With that in mind, Dazai claps his hands once again, then flits away from the Agency. Time to annoy his favorite target slug! It’d be so terrible if he sees the slightest glimmer of stardust on the chibikko, after all. He can’t wait to see it!
Dazai hums, hands in his pockets, practically bouncing on his heels. He smiles generously at the people that he passes by. He’s scattering stars in his wake, stardust practically lining his gaze.
Fufufu, the power of his charm is truly too strong.
Everyone’s impression of him is always tinged by admiration over his good looks! Even the police officer who has responded to several disturbance complaints involving his forays into the river isn’t spared.
He even drops by the restaurant where all five of the waitresses give him a stink-eye for skipping out on the bill and then tricking someone to pay in his stead. Mm, as expected, even in their annoyance towards him, they still can’t help but be a bit starry-eyed at his charming looks.
Ah, where is that chibi?
He can’t wait to see how he’d look! Just how many stars will float around him? Will it be a tiny, tiny star to match the tiny, tiny man? Or will it be countless glimmers like he’s on a field of fireflies in summer?
His footsteps gain speed. According to the tracker that he’s sewn into the back of that slug’s overcoat, the chibi should be somewhere in the vicinity. Cross-checked with the schedule from the calendar that Hirotsu-san has slipped him on the sly, his dog should be out on patrol today.
Hmm, figures that Mori-san will send him out to patrol instead of the usual squad. If he’s being cautious about this Ability User, sending his trustworthy one-man squad is the most efficient method, after all.
His lips twitch into something sour at the thought of Mori-san, so he shakes his head and re-imagines several possibilities for how Chuuya would look upon seeing him.
And then, he spots the top of a familiar, tacky hat, so he hurries forward, already calling out, “I seem to spot a missing dog~”
As expected of an idiot, Chuuya immediately turns around—at the sound of his voice, at the thought of there being a missing dog conveniently around that he could adopt and feed steak—with shining eyes.
…Perhaps as expected of a hat-for-brains slug who surprises him at the strangest of ways, none of his previous predictions follow through.
There aren’t any stars that flutter around the chibi, the moment their eyes meet. There no stars in his eyes either, at least, none that haven’t been there even before this Ability has affected the city.
In fact, there’s only a deep black surrounding the chibi as he meets his stare.
…Does this mean that Chuuya doesn’t feel the slightest bit starstruck upon seeing him…?
Oh no, has this chibi’s hat started to eat into his brain and eyesight? Did his dog go blind already…?
“Oi, bastard, what the hell are you acting like a kicked puppy for?!”
“You’re the dog,” he responds automatically. He circles the chibi, still unreconciled about this finding. “Say, Chuuya, did you go blind recently?”
A roll of those bright blue eyes. “I fucking wish, so I don’t have to look at your ugly face.”
He stops in front of the other, squatting helpfully so that their faces are level to each other. As solemnly and simply as possible, in case the other misunderstands, he says, “Please look at me properly.”
Chuuya, despite his insistence that he’s a gentleman who exemplifies the coolness of a badass mafioso, is a rude shorty who resorts to violence at the slightest provocation. As such, his reaction to this comes in the form of a kick swiping towards his shins.
He hops away, just enough to be out of reach of the other’s stretched leg. “Fufufu, I already told you many times, I’ve memorized the rhythm of your movements.”
“I held back, asshole,” comes through gritted teeth. “You’re still needed to nullify this stupid Ability!”
He blinks. “Mm, shouldn’t it be fine? With your pitiful height, most people don’t see you anyway, so they shouldn’t be sparkling stars your way.”
Chuuya blinks back at him, eyes wide. “Huh. Didn’t think that you’d say the same thing as Ane-san and Gramps.”
“Oh? They called you short to your face?”
Another swipe towards his knees. “Shut up! I meant about the sparkling thing, and you know it!”
“Mm,” he hums, attempting to be neutral. Considering this chibi’s obliviousness, those two probably said that just to trick him into being okay with seeing a lot of silly people being starstruck upon seeing him. After all, his partner is prone to acting cool. And is very invested in trying to look ‘presentable’. It wouldn’t be surprising if there’s a long line of fools who’d think he’s very charming.
In fact, he already has plans on tricking their names out of Chuuya, by asking who dared to sparkle brightly at him today.
But before that, he has to check one thing first… “Are you sure you didn’t go blind today?”
“Tsk, stop asking already! I see nothing but a weird black cloud all over you! No stars whatsoever!” Another click of his tongue. “Figures that you’re such a gloomy bastard, urgh.”
“…a black shadow?”
Oh no.
Something forms inside his mind. It’s not possible, right…?
“Yeah. It moves and shifts a bit, really like a cloud.”
It’s the same thing that he sees on Chuuya.
It’d be super great if it means having nothing but hatred for the other. But—
“Ah, it’s a representation of my hatred for seeing you,” he says quickly, before hightailing it out of there, avoiding Chuuya’s confused look at him running—no, brisk-walking—away.
Even though he’s loathe to do his job so efficiently instead of slacking off, Dazai quickly locates the target. He has something very important to ask.
It takes him half-an-hour to corner the Ability User. Five minutes to explain his question.
Perhaps five years to recover from the answer he gets.
“My Ability is to show a person’s feelings by means of stars, there is no exception.” The Ability User looks at him like he’s deranged for not sharing his excitement at this development. “However, if two or more high-energy stars collide, they could theoretically form a black hole.”
Oh no, oh no.
“My Ability shows things on a scale,” this Ability User continues, seemingly without mercy towards Dazai who’s already ready to foam at the mouth upon this realization. “So if it’s able to produce a big black shadow, then it must have involved incredibly powerful stars.” A wistful sigh. “I wish I could meet someone who loves me that much.”
Dazai stares at this man who’s spouting horrifying words, before woodenly calling Kunikida.
“Kunikida-kun, I think you’re right. This Ability really is faulty.”
And even if it isn’t, there’s absolutely no way he’s going to ever let Chuuya what the black shadow means!!!
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