Work Text:
Killer and Dust sat on the sofa with Miracle on Killer’s lap. It was a day like any other and Killer was smiling down at his son, trying to do what any parent would do when their kid was approaching a year old.
“Come on, Miracle, say ‘Mama’ I know you can do it!” Killer encouraged, hopefully. He had bet 60g that would be his son’s first word. Nightmare was not impressed about the betting, he never was.
Miracle just looked blankly up at them though and stuck his thumb in his mouth.
“No,” Killer said gently, taking his son’s wrist and pulling his thumb out of his mouth. “Say ‘Mama’”
“He’s not going to do it,” Dust said as he watched with his phone recording just in case Miracle said his first word.
“He will,” Killer argued. “I’m the best so he has to say ‘Mama’ first! Nothing would be better.”
“Well I’m trying something else,” Dust said as he waved to get Miracle’s attention and smiled once the baby looked at him. “Say ‘Dust’ Miracle. ‘Du-st.’” That had been his bet, while Horror had bet on Dada being the child’s first word just because he wasn’t expecting his or Dust’s name and Killer already bet on Mama.
Miracle just blinked at him before he looked back to his mother.
“See! He clearly doesn’t want to say that! Say ‘Mama.’ Mama is better that dumb Uncle Dust.”
“Don’t call me dumb! You’re dumb!”
“You’re the only dumb one here,” Killer shot back. He’d use a more explicit insult but he didn’t want Miracle to pick that up. “Dumb Dustbin!”
“Grow up, Killer,” Dust sighed as he turned his attention back to Miracle. “Come on, say ‘Dust’ I’m sure you can!”
Miracle looked up at his uncle and tilted his head. “Du…”
“Oh my god!” Dust said excitedly. “He almost did it! He almost said my name! Come on, ‘Du-st.’”
“That was just a normal baby noise!” Killer argued. “You can’t listen to the dumb one, say ‘Mama’”
Miracle just kept looking at Dust though and slowly he pointed up at him. Both Killer and Dust held their breath as they waited. Was he really about to say Dust?
“Dumb Dumb!” Miracle shouted and started clapping his hands as Killer burst out laughing, leaving Dust to look horrified.
“NO!” Dust shouted. “I’m Dust not Dumb Dumb!”
“Dumb Dumb!” Miracle repeated. ”Dumb Dumb! Dumb Dumb!”
Killer eventually managed to calm down. “I take it back this is way better than his first word being ‘Mama!’”
“No, it’s not!” Dust said looking genuinely hurt that a baby was calling him dumb. “I’m not dumb, you’re dumb!”
“Nah, Miracle has spoken, you’re clearly the dumb one!”
“Dumb Dumb!”
Killer began to laugh again before he looked down to see Miracle pointing at him instead. It was Dust’s turn to laugh.
“You’re Dumb Dumb too!” Dust called out as he laughed.
“No, Miracle, that’s Dumb Dumb. I’m Mama,” Killer said gently, hoping to change his mind.
Miracle looked like he was thinking carefully before he pointed at Killer again. “Mmm…”
“That’s it, ‘Mama.’”
“...Dumb Dumb!”
“Noooooo!” Killer whined as Miracle just laughed and clapped his hands again.
“...Maybe he doesn’t know what it means?” Dust suggested. As funny as it was that he was calling Killer Dumb Dumb as well he wanted it to seem better for himself more.
“Maybe,” Killer agreed, “we do call each other dumb all the time. Maybe he just thinks it’s what you call people just generally?”
“Dumb Dumb!” Miracle said again as he clapped, only making Killer and Dust cringe. They really couldn’t believe they were being called dumb by a baby…
The door opened and shut again with a click and the two turned to see Nightmare walking in. “What’s going on here? I sensed some negativity.”
“Babe!” Killer whined as he picked Miracle up and stood. “You won’t believe this; Miracle said his first word!”
Nightmare looked rather happy at that and smiled at his boyfriend as he walked closer. “That’s great! So why the negativity?”
“Show him,” Dust said, with a pout, he really wasn’t happy about this at all.
“Dumb Dumb!” Miracle said, pointing at Killer. “Dumb Dumb!” He said again, pointing at Dust.
At that Nightmare burst out laughing. That only made Miracle giggle as well and clap again; if his Daddy thought something was funny then it really must be funny!
Nightmare reached out with a tentacle and pet his son’s head happily. “That’s my boy, not even a year old yet and already spreading such wonderful negativity! I’m so proud!”
“We don’t think he knows what it means,” Killer said. “Why else would my boy being calling his wonderful Mama, ‘Dumb Dumb!?’”
“It’s still funny and it’s still negativity,” Nightmare said as he kept petting his son who wiggled happily at the attention.
“You won’t find it funny when he’s calling you Dumb Dumb!” Killer argued and looked back at his son. “Go on, Baby, tell Daddy that he’s also dumb.”
Miracle looked up at Killer again and blinked before he looked at Killer’s hand that was pointing at Nightmare. Miracle pointed at him too and opened his mouth… “D…”
“Dumb Dumb,” Killer encouraged. “He’s Dumb Dumb too!”
“D… D… Dada!”
“No!”
Nightmare burst into another fit of laughter. “Oh, I’m so proud of my Little Prince! Smart enough to know what dumb means and now he’s called me Dada!”
“...He really thinks we’re dumb…” Dust said, sounding really hurt by it.
“He won't call me Mama! I’ll forever be Dumb Dumb to him…” Killer complained dramatically as he handed the baby to Nightmare.
“Don’t be so dramatic, Kills. He’ll call you Mama eventually.” Nightmare quickly turned his attention to his son as he hugged him and gave him more head pets.
“My baby thinks I’m stupid!” Killer kept complaining which only made his boyfriend and son laugh even more.
“I really am so proud,” Nightmare said as he kissed Miracle’s cheek. “So much negativity being spread by someone so small.”
Killer and Dust just looked at each other and sighed. They’d just have to accept the name ‘Dumb Dumb’ until Miracle started calling them by the correct name.
“Anyway,” Nightmare said as he adjusted his hold on his son. “Horror asked me to tell you two that dinner’s ready. We better get going before it gets cold.”
“Right!” Killer said suddenly perking up. “Miracle is sure to call Horror ‘Dumb Dumb’ too!”
"Yeah!” Dust agreed as he began to walk towards the door. The more people Miracle called ‘Dumb Dumb’ the better they’d feel.
“Hey, Horror,” Killer said as he walked into the dinning room seeing some really good looking Korean food set out on the table. Killer couldn’t identify what the dishes were called but he could tell by the look on Dust’s face that he was very happy. “ Figures, Horror’s still trying to get into his pants,” Killer thought as he took his place.
Dust took his eyes off of the food to look at Miracle again. “So, Miracle, who’s that?” He almost felt bad for encouraging Miracle to call Horror dumb after he made all this food but he didn’t want to be lumped with Killer alone.
Miracle looked up at Horror who waved at the baby. The big guy didn’t really know what was going on but he guessed they wanted him to speak.
“Come on, call him ‘Dumb Dumb’ too,” Killer encouraged as Nightmare just rolled his eye.
Slowly Miracle’s little hand lifted and he pointed to Horror and looked up at his mother who nodded. With a head tilt and a bit of thought Miracle opened his mouth again… “Nom Nom!”
“No!” Killer and Dust shouted in unison and Nightmare just laughed again.
Horror took a minute to process what just happened but the second he did his eyes went wide and he went running to the baby. “Aww! He called me ‘Nom Nom!’” He said happily as he pet Miracle’s head. He was clearly happy with his nickname.
Miracle just accepted the head pets feeling like he’d done so well.
“...So what about the bet?” Killer asked as they sat down to eat. “His first word is dumb so no one wins…”
Nightmare sighed and shook his head. “It’s a tie so wouldn’t the logical thing be that you all get your money back?”
The three of them shrugged they supposed that did make sense. That really was an unexpected outcome though.