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Only weeks ago it had been warm out, but it’s a cold autumn day today, and Draco shivers as he enters the coffee shop. He runs a hand through his wet hair, and he looks around searching for Harry. He finds him sitting by the window, staring out at the busy city street. At the people rushing to get out of the rain - a faraway stare on his face.
“Sorry I’m late.”
Harry looks up and he flashes a small smile.
“It’s fine.”
“What can I get you to drink?” Draco asks, because buying him a drink is the least he can do after making him wait. “A hot chocolate?” he guesses, and the smile on Harry’s face grows as he nods. “Salted caramel?”
“Please.”
Draco goes over to the counter, and after reading through the menu and being overwhelmed by the choice of drinks, he orders himself a cinnamon latte.
“Anything else?” the barista asks.
“One of those ehm…” He points at the sketch of the salted caramel hot chocolate that’s up on the wall. “With whipped cream, please.”
“Any toppings?” the barista asks when the drink is done.
Draco looks at the choices of toppings, and even though they have met up at this place before and Harry had ordered this drink every time, he never had any toppings. He looks miserable today though, and with him being pregnant and having waited for almost thirty minutes, maybe he could do with some extra sweetness. Or, Draco decides, if he doesn’t like it, he will just get him a new drink.
“The chocolate sprinkles, maybe? And the nuts? Maybe a few of those marshmallows?”
“Going all out, huh?” the barista laughs.
“My ehm… my boyfriend, he’s pregnant,” Draco explains, and the barista gives a nod.
She looks over to Harry, the smile on her face growing bigger.
“Congratulations.” She smiles as she adds the toppings - adding a few large chocolate hearts on top.
“Oh, I didn’t…,” Draco begins, but she shrugs it off and she hands him the drink. “Thank you.”
Now seeing the drink, hidden underneath so much extra sweetness, he thinks it looks ridiculous. Like he is trying too hard. But he isn’t going to make Harry wait even longer, so he goes back to him and he sits down with him.
“Sorry, if it’s too much, I can…” Draco flushes when he sees Harry stare at the chocolate hearts, and he almost explains how he didn’t pick those. But why bother?
“Thanks,” Harry chuckles, before picking out a marshmallow and sticking it into his mouth. “How was your day?” he asks, a little awkwardly - as their small talk always is, even after all this time.
“The same as always.” Draco shrugs. “I ehm…” He hesitates. “I was hoping we could talk about… well, us , today.”
Harry nods, leaving the chocolate for what it is as he takes his glasses off and he rubs his temples.
“Another headache?” Draco asks. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
“It’s a little late for that, isn’t it?” Harry mumbles, smiling at him to show that he’s not upset with him. He places a hand on his belly, the smile slowly fading. “But you’re right, we should probably discuss where we stand. In case this one decides to make an early appearance.”
When they had run into each other almost two years ago now, it had been at a bar. They had both been drinking, and their snide remarks had somehow turned into flirting. The night had ended with a quick hook-up in the toilets, and neither of them thought that any more would come of it. But they had run into each other again only weeks later - both sober this time - and they had found themselves flirting again. This time they ended up at Draco’s flat, and after another hook-up they agreed that they were both enjoying it, so why not keep seeing each other like that?
For months they kept meeting up for casual sex, and where Harry would leave and return to his normal life without thinking about what was happening much, Draco had to admit that he was starting to have feelings for the other man. So one night, when Harry was about to leave, Draco had tried to ask him out properly. But just as he had been about to say the words, Harry had ended things. He said he no longer wanted to have sex with him, and he thought it would be best if they stopped seeing each other.
Later, when Harry came to his flat to tell him about the pregnancy, Draco found out that Harry had discovered he was pregnant that week, and he had taken a step back to try and figure out what it was that he wanted to do. Harry confessed that he was nervous that Draco would try and pressure him into having an abortion, and that he wanted to make the decision on his own whether he wanted to have an abortion, put the baby up for adoption or if he was going to raise it himself.
By the time Harry had told Draco, he had decided that he was going to raise it, and he had given Draco the choice to walk away or to be a part of the baby’s life. Draco had chosen to be a father, without hesitation. Because they both hadn’t exactly had the best childhoods, they decided that they were going to spend more time together to at least try and be friends, for their child’s sake.
They had gone on dates - even if they hadn’t called it that - and they had spent hours talking and getting to know each other. They had even become intimate with each other again, the sexual chemistry between them undeniable. But even after months of all this, they still have not discussed where they stand or how they see this working once the baby is born.
Harry puts his glasses back on, but when he picks his drink up and he takes a sip, Draco realises that he has to be the one to start this conversation.
“Do you want us to continue on like this?” he asks. “As friends?”
“I think we’re a little more than that, don’t you?” Harry mutters. “Seeing as we’re about to have a baby together.”
Draco gives a nod, and even though he’s happy to hear that Harry thinks they are more than friends, what he is saying is still telling him absolutely nothing about his feelings.
“What if…” Draco begins, but then he hesitates, because what if he says the wrong thing and he messes up everything they had built up over the last months?
“What if what?”
“If you hadn’t been pregnant, would we still be seeing each other?”
“I think so.” Harry nods, his eyes focussed on the melting puddle of sugar on his hot chocolate.
“As friends?”
Harry nods again, but Draco can tell that he is uncomfortable and that there is something he is keeping from him. Probably, Draco decides, a confession that he would have grown bored of sleeping with him and that he would have dumped him a long time ago.
“What if I want to be more than friends?” he asks, knowing full well that he could be messing it all up by saying this. But they are about to have a baby, and he doesn’t want to hide how he truly feels from the father of his child. He doesn’t want to, and after feeling the knot in his stomach growing bigger over the last months, he knows that he can’t do it either - even if he wanted to.
“You mean you want us to keep having sex?” Harry asks, still avoiding the other man’s eyes. But from the blush on his face, Draco can tell that he knows exactly what it is that he was trying to tell him.
“Yes, that too.” Draco smiles shyly. “But what if I want to raise this baby together? As a family?”
Harry finally looks up at him, but he still doesn’t answer.
“Come on, Harry. You know I love you,” Draco sighs, finally saying the words he had meant to say the night Harry ended up breaking things off with him. “I don’t think of you as my friend, or whatever we’ve been pretending this is. I am in love with you, and I want this child to have a proper family. The kind of family you and I never had.”
Tears begin to well up in Harry’s eyes, and he takes his glasses off and rubs his eyes.
“Say something, please,” Draco whispers.
“I’m scared,” Harry finally admits.
“Of what?”
“That you’re going to leave us.” Harry rubs his eyes again, but a tear rolls down his face, and Draco reaches out and wipes it away. “This wasn’t supposed to happen. It was supposed to be casual, and now…” He places a hand on his belly again and he sighs. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to be with me because I’m pregnant. I told you, I can do this on my own, and…”
“Stop it,” Draco shushes him, a soft smile on his face. “Remember that night, when you dumped me?”
Harry nods, his cheeks flushing again.
“I was going to ask you out,” Draco admits. “Because I was already in love with you then. This… me telling you this, it has nothing to do with this one,” he says, placing his hand on Harry’s bump. “I would still be here if you weren’t pregnant, and I would still be in love with you.”
“Why didn’t you say anything? All this time we’ve been going out, and…”
“Because you didn’t feel the same way about me.” Draco shrugs. “Not yet, anyway.”
“And I do now?” Harry teases, nudging his leg against Draco’s.
“I hope so.”
“I do.” Harry nods, and he grabs Draco’s hand. He looks more than a little uncomfortable, because he had always made this out to be a casual thing, even after finding out they were going to be parents. So to hold hands in public, it feels like a change, and even though it’s a positive change, it still feels like a big step.
“I heard what you said, by the way,” Harry admits, smiling shyly. “Calling me your boyfriend.”
“Oh, sorry, I just…”
“Am I?”
Draco can’t help but laugh, because here they are, about to become parents, and yet Harry is acting like a nervous teenager. Draco gets it though, because like Harry, he has never done this before - not properly anyway - and he has to admit that he feels nervous butterflies too.
He gives a nod, and he presses a quick kiss to Harry’s lips. Something about kissing him still making him nervous, because for the longest time there had been sex, and they had touched each other in ways they had never touched anyone before, yet kissing had been out of the question. It wasn’t until they had come back from a scan and they had heard the baby’s heartbeat, that they had shared a kiss. They hadn’t talked about it, but that was the moment when things had changed for Draco. That was when he knew that Harry had started falling for him too.
“Maybe…,” Harry begins nervously, fumbling as he picks up his drink again. “Maybe you could come live with us?”
“I’d like that.” Draco smiles. He had helped out with the baby’s room, and he had spent night after night in Harry’s bed, yet he had always gone back to his flat, leaving behind the man he loved. Knowing that, in weeks from now, he would have to leave his child behind every time as well. To live with them, it means more to him than he can say, and he can feel himself choke up at the thought of it.
Harry brings his chocolate up to his mouth, but before he takes a sip, he quickly whispers an ‘I love you’. It happens so quickly that Draco stares at him for a moment, not sure if he heard correctly. But when he sees the dark blush on his face, he can’t help but smile, shaking his head. Because here they are, having been intimate with each other for nearly two years - having touched each other in ways they didn’t know were possible before they started seeing each other - and it’s an ‘I love you’ that is making Harry nervous?
Draco brings his hand up and gently caresses the back of the other man’s neck, smiling fondly as he leans in to kiss him again, “You’re ridiculous.”