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This is what Kakashi absolutely finds exasperating-irritating once Tenzou gets enough alcohol in his system. His tongue gets loose. Gone is the polite, stoic and controlled facade. Gone is the respecting (and intimidating to man but not Kakashi, of course, he's the Hokage and he's not a baby) captain and now, after Kakashi has officially become the Rokudaime, the head of ANBU. Polite words? Polite tone? Politeness in general?
Hah!
When Tenzou gets tipsy, he is about as useful as a fly buzzing around your head and being... okay, annoying.
Like now.
Fucking light weight.
Three glasses of whiskey and he's going on. And on. And on.
Oh and he tends to forget who he's talking to, too.
Tenzou can be a bit of a heel that way.
"You know what, I'm sick and tired of this. Will of fire my foot! First it was Godaime-sama. Brutal woman, that. One mission after the other with just twenty four hours rest in between. And now this new jerk of a Rokudaime is doing the exact same thing! Did you know! That back then, he used to complain about the Godaime, too?"
Kakashi just sighs. "I'm right here."
"I asked for a day off! But nooooo~ Tenzou, you are the only one I can count on. Tenzou, you are the only one I trust who can complete this while keeping it airtight. Emotional manipulator!"
Kakashi props his chin on his palm. "Ah, is that so?"
Tenzou huffs, stirring his drink with a wooden finger, watering down his whiskey further by melting the ice with his mindless stirring.
"Wait! Hey! You're here!" Tenzou blinks owlishly.
"The entire time, yes," Kakashi mutters, rolling his eyes at Tenzou.
"Did I ever tell you what a terrible senpai you are? You make me tired of going on the field! And you take my money! You make more than me! A senpai must be kind to their kouhai!" Tenzou points his wooden finger-stirrer at Kakashi. "You terrible!"
"You only said that about twenty times in the past half an hour," Kakashi points out, deadpanned.
"I am tired! Sick and tired of--"
Tenzou stops yapping. Just stops thank fuck.
To stare at the person who had just walked into the izakaya, moving past their table.
Iruka-sensei is half out of his uniform, his vest and forehead protector gone, following two of his friends, towards one of the booths by the window. His hair isn't up in its usual ponytail, and is instead looped in a half loose bun by the nape of his neck, as if he had hastily just stepped out of his home in the middle of winding down for the night.
Tenzou suddenly slams his hand down on the table, and whoops. Apparently at the dumptruck of a cute ass that is a lot more visible and obvious what with Iruka's form fitting pants upon slender lean hips and his tucked in standard navies.
Iruka is a lot smaller out of the vest. The chuunin vest does not do Iruka justice.
"Will of fire, mother fucker! This coming through, run bitch!" Tenzou starts to bring his palms down in a bit of rhythmic beat. Punctuating the syllables with a slap of his palm on the table that rattles their glasses and empty food bowls. "Ko! No! Ha! Ko! No! Ha!"
Why is even still friends with this idiot? Just... why?
"I love the will of fire! I will die for the will fire! Ko! No! Ha!"
"Please be quiet," Kakashi deplorably begs, dragging a gloved hand down his face.
And great.
Just great.
Iruka is curiously looking at the buffoon across from Kakashi. Kakashi turns and sheepishly waves right before he reaches out and conks Tenzou on the side of head.
Tenzou just grins.
"This is why you never score anyone," Kakashi says. "Idiot."
Tenzou doesn't care though. He wiggles his fingers at Iruka like a dork. Which makes Iruka walk over, because he's a polite guy and well, honestly, Kakashi is not going to do jacksquat about Tenzou's nonsense. If Tenzou wants to make an ass out of himself, well, far be it from Kakashi to stop a man and his rights and liberty to do so.
"Good evening, Kakashi-sama, Yamato-taichou." Kakashi doesn't get to even greet back because Tenzou dopily grins up at Iruka. Which makes Iruka raise an eyebrow. "Are you - is he okay, Kakashi-sama?"
Kakashi doesn't get to answer. Because:
"What are you doing here with all this ass~? Double-cheeked-up ass hella-ass on a Friday evening~?" Tenzou asks.
Like a fucking half-wit.
Wow.
Kakashi can say nothing. No smart comeback. No sarcastic response.
Just nothing.
This, right here, is the fearless and feared ANBU commander.
"Oh..." Iruka somewhat responds, flushing to the roots of his hair, glancing at his own ass and then at Kakashi who just holds his palms up in surrender. "Ah, well, if you like it that much, do you want to buy me a drink? Maybe a little dinner?"
Never has Tenzou gotten up so fast.
"For the will of fire?" Tenzou grins. Roguishly. Okay, it's handsome. Fine. "Anything!"
Iruka laughs, so utterly bemused and well, interested. Well would you look at that?
Kakashi shakes his head, watching Iruka excuse Tenzou from Kakashi. Kakashi waves them off, watching with a bit of dismay as Iruka places Tenzou's hand on his butt cheek and Tenzou happily squeeze it, all while spewing bullshit about patriotism.
Maybe being an idiotic patriot has its perks after all.
Iruka does have an incredible ass.