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It started off innocent enough. Mulder had wanted to have a movie night. He’d mentioned it to Scully a couple of days ago and she couldn’t do it; she had plans. The part that disturbed him was that Scully had steadfastly refused to tell him what her plans were.
In truth, Mulder wondered if she was pulling away from him. They’d started seeing each other more in a less-than-professional, more than friends kind of way. Dating, he corrected himself. They were dating.
He’d convinced himself that it was exclusive. For him, it was. There was no one for Fox Mulder outside of Dana Scully. But they never had that conversation. As much as it stung, she was technically free to see anyone she wanted. Mulder had just thought that she’d only wanted to see him. In fact, he’d banked on it.
When she finally revealed to him that she had dinner plans for the evening, it had gutted him. Mulder hadn’t anticipated that Scully would date anyone else; that she wanted to date anyone else. But why wouldn’t she? Scully was beautiful, smart, kind… Any man would be lucky to have her interested in him. Mulder had considered himself lucky.
In fact, he’d considered himself so lucky that she had stayed with him for seven years that when he kissed her on New Year’s Eve, he assumed that was when their exclusive romantic relationship had begun. Clearly, Mulder was mistaken. Scully obviously thought differently, and it only served to prove to him that that particular conversation needed to be made a priority. He could only hope to convince her that he was worth it.
Except, Mulder knew that he wasn’t. He didn’t have much to offer. He was a broken man living in a broken world. Scully deserved the world and although Mulder wanted to give that to her, he couldn’t. She deserved someone who wanted all the same things that Mulder assumed she wanted: the house, the car, the safety.
Safety.
Mulder would die for her. There was no question about that. But she would never be safe as long as she was with him. Sure, he could afford to buy her a house and a fancy car. She didn’t know that, but he could. He just couldn’t keep her safe the way that she deserved to be kept safe.
Scully also wanted a family. While biological children wasn’t possible, Mulder was convinced that Scully was meant to be a mother and that she would be a fantastic one. She deserved to be with someone who would be a good father to her children, however she got them, and a good husband to her.
Scully had told him before that she wanted to get out of the car sometimes. While he’d scoffed it off at the time, it was a conversation that stuck with him. Every time he was with her—especially when he watched her sleep—he thought about that conversation. Mulder wasn’t the guy who could get out of the car. If it was possible for him, he’d do it in a heartbeat. For her. But it wasn’t. Mulder stayed in the car so that other people could get out of it. That was the way of things. And it included Scully.
It was exactly that line of thinking that had him sitting in his car, staking out Scully and her date. She’d murder him if she knew what he was doing. Mulder had no doubt about that. But he couldn’t stop himself. He just wanted to make sure she was safe.
And, she definitely looked like she was having a good time. Every so often, Scully and her date would laugh about something. In fact, Mulder hadn’t seen her laugh this much in a single setting in…well, quite possibly, ever. It kind of hurt, actually.
He wanted to be the one to make her laugh like that. He’d spent years trying to get Scully to let loose like that. The fact that she could do that so easily with another guy made Mulder sick to his stomach. Everything in him wanted to barge into the restaurant, confront her, spill his guts. But he didn’t. Instead, he watched from afar, like a weirdo.
“Should we invite him in?” Aaron asked. Scully couldn’t help but to smirk.
“No, let him stew a bit,” she responded.
“Playin’ hard to get, Dana Scully?” Aaron retorted. “I never thought I’d see the day. Gina will be so proud when I tell her.”
Scully laughed at that. “No but I had a feeling he’d do something like this.”
Aaron smiled, amused. “How long have you been together?”
“Now, that is a complicated question,” Scully responded before taking a sip of her wine.
“If you plan to let him stew, we’ve got plenty of time.”
Scully studied him. She’d known Aaron Brawley for years. They’d gone to medical school together and even served on a few panels together. Aaron, his wife Gina, and Scully had been a trio in medical school.
Aaron and Gina were in town for a conference of some sort. One to which Scully hadn’t been invited. Gina had been suckered into something at the conference—of what, Scully wasn’t sure—and had insisted that she and Aaron go to the dinner the three of them were supposed to attend together. They had reservations, after all.
Scully had even briefly decided to invite Mulder. But she didn’t. She wasn’t entirely sure why, if she was being honest with herself. Part of it could’ve been how openly he talked about the X-Files. Not that she was necessarily embarrassed by her job—she loved it, actually. Most of the time.
She supposed, it had something to do with wanting one night of normalcy. Despite the fact that she loved the man, Mulder was too much of a wildcard for tonight. Scully just needed a break.
Scully had planned to see him after dinner. Then, she’d caught a small part of his conversation with the Gunmen and all of that went out the window. She knew him well enough to know exactly what he was doing and she wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction.
“Dana?” Aaron prompted.
“Well, he’s my partner at the FBI. In a way, we’ve been together a long time. On the other hand, the more…romantic aspect of our relationship is still fairly new.”
“Doesn’t the FBI have rules against that?”
Scully chuffed a laugh. “You’d be surprised. They’re not exactly supportive, but there’s no rule that says we can’t be together.” She set her glass of wine on the table. “We do a pretty good job of keeping it away from work, though.”
“So, instead of bringing your boyfriend in here so I can meet him and rub it in to G later, you’re letting him sulk in his car.”
It wasn’t a question.
“Trust me, he had it coming,” Scully retorted.
Aaron laughed at that. “You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch.”
Scully laughed in response.
Mulder watched as a waiter handed Scully a menu. God. She was getting dessert, too. He should just leave.
But he couldn’t leave. It was like watching a train wreck. No matter how badly he wanted to, Mulder just couldn’t look away. Scully looked happy. She was laughing. She was ordering dessert.
With a sigh, Mulder laid his head on the steering wheel.
He’d been telling himself all night that he was going to have the “we should be exclusive” conversation with her first thing tomorrow. Maybe, even, tonight. But he slowly realized that he didn’t have the heart to do it.
God, he wanted her. That wasn’t even a question. He wanted her to be his and his alone. The question was more a matter of whether or not he could give her the things she wanted out of life. She’d mentioned, on more than one occasion, her desire for normalcy.
Fox Mulder couldn’t do normalcy. He’d tried that before and it ended in the most epic of failures. She was too important to him for Mulder to risk disappointing her like that.
A tap on his window caused Mulder to jump embarrassingly. Scully stood outside the vehicle with an arched eyebrow. She expected him to explain himself. In front of the guy standing behind her with a curious look on his face.
Mulder scrambled out of the car.
“Scully, I can explain.”
She only tilted her head in response, causing Mulder to wince.
“I, um…”
Scully smirked and held up a bag. It was Mulder’s turn to be confused.
“I thought you might get hungry,” she replied.
Mulder’s mouth flapped embarrassingly but no sound came out. His eyes darted to the other man, who stood there smirking. Mulder had the briefest notion of punching the shit out of the guy, but his common sense kicked in before he could act on the thought. Scully would hate him forever if he got into a fight with her date.
The man stuck out a hand.
“Aaron Brawley,” he introduced himself.
“Fox Mulder,” he replied, accepting the proffered hand.
“Yeah, I know. You’re all Dana could talk about all night.”
Mulder’s eyes cut to Scully and then back to Aaron Brawley.
“You…knew I was out here,” Mulder deduced with a fair amount of shame and embarrassment.
“I brought you food, didn’t I?” Scully retorted and Mulder detected the slightest hint of amusement in her voice.
“Dana,” Aaron said, getting her attention. “It was good seeing you,” he said and gave her a hug. “I will make sure G knows exactly what she missed tonight. She’ll want to see you before we leave Thursday.”
Mulder watched, completely dumbfounded, as Scully made plans for Thursday. He heard his name thrown in there somewhere but he was too surprised to catch the context. Before Mulder knew it, Aaron Brawley was shaking his hand, telling him that it was great to finally meet him, and walking toward his car.
When Mulder faced Scully, her arms were crossed and her eyebrow was arched. He knew that pose. It was the one that said he had about five seconds to explain himself.
“I just wanted to make sure you were safe,” he confessed quietly.
Scully sighed. “Mulder, one of these days, you’re going to have to learn to actually trust me as much as you say you do.”
“I do trust you, Scully,” he insisted. She cocked her head in addition to the arched eyebrow and crossed arms. “I didn’t trust him.”
Scully’s arms uncrossed and she sighed again. “Mulder, if you thought I was going on a date, why didn’t you just ask me instead of plotting with the Gunmen?” Mulder’s jaw dropped and she continued. “Yes, I know about that.”
“They told you?” He asked like a kid caught doing something wrong.
“No, I walked into the office while you were on the phone with them. I caught the last minute or so of your conversation with them before I figured out what you were up to.”
“And, you didn’t say anything?” He asked, his voice cracking at the pitch.
“It’s not so fun when it’s you, is it?” She retorted.
Point: Scully.
Mulder heaved a sigh. “I’m sorry.”
“You should be,” Scully replied.
They stood in silence for a moment before Mulder found the courage to speak up again.
“I don’t like the idea that some other guy can make you happy,” he confessed. “I mean, I want you to be happy. Just…with me.”
It was Scully’s turn to be surprised. The last thing she’d ever expected from him was vulnerability where their romantic relationship was concerned. That wasn’t their way. They actively avoided talking about such things.
“Mulder,” she replied, not quite sure what to say.
“I know, I know,” he interrupted. “I just…I can’t offer you much, Scully. I’m not that guy. You want a normal life and all that and I don’t know how to do that.” He paused for a split second before continuing, “In case you hadn’t noticed, I’ve kind of been a freak since I was a kid.”
“You’re not a freak, Mulder,” she replied, stepping closer to him and realizing that she probably should’ve put him out of his misery awhile ago.
“Spooky, then,” he retorted.
“The only thing spooky about you is how good you are at your job and how good of a person you are.”
“That’s two things,” she heard him mutter. The man just couldn’t help himself.
“Mulder, look at me,” she said, placing a hand on his forearm. He obeyed. “I’m happy with you. And I’m not seeing anyone else.”
His eyes lit up at that and it broke her heart that he thought otherwise.
“You’re not?”
“Why would I?” Scully retorted and then flirtatiously added, “I have a good thing going here. I get to work with you every day and spend time with you at night.”
“I don’t drive you crazy?”
Scully snorted. “You drive me insane.”
Mulder chuckled and nodded his head, knowing that he walked into that one.
“But,” Scully continued, her hand closing around his empty one, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Mulder squeezed her hand in response. Scully grinned and stretched up to place a kiss to his lips.
“So…does this mean we’re exclusive?” He asked shyly but with an amused twinkle in his eyes.
“Well, that depends,” she responded playfully, tugging at the lapel of his jacket, “are you going to sulk in the car every time I have dinner with a friend from med school?”
“Yes.”
Scully laughed at that. She pointed to the bag in his hand.
“You better eat that before it gets cold.”
Mulder winced. “I thought you were ordering dessert,” he confessed.
“I did,” Scully replied. “It’s in there, too.”
He looked up at her, a questioning look in his eye.
“I was thinking we could watch that movie,” she added, flirtation present in her tone and body language.
“You want to come back to my place for…dessert and a movie?”
Scully smiled. “Yes.”
Mulder smiled and leaned in to kiss her. “Meet you there?”
“Well, that could take awhile. I didn’t drive.”
“He picked you up and didn’t offer you a ride home?”
Scully laughed. “Well, not exactly. I took a cab. I expected far more alcohol than was consumed without Gina.”
Mulder nodded his understanding and his hand went to the small of her back as he guided her to the passenger’s side of the car. He opened the door for her and handed her the take out bag when she was settled into the passenger’s seat.
Scully was cuddled into him, half asleep, as they semi-watched their movie. Mulder felt her shiver slightly and he pressed a kiss to her temple before reaching over to drape the small blanket around her.
“Thank you,” she said sleepily.
Mulder kissed her temple again and replied, “You’re welcome.”
They were silent for a few minutes before he asked her to stay the night. She’d lifted her head to look at him and he fully expected her to decline and use work as the excuse to home. But, she surprised him by agreeing. On the condition, of course, that they leave his place early enough for him to take her home to get ready for work.
He’d argued that they could play hooky and stay home to watch TV all day. Really, the thought of Scully hanging around his apartment, wearing his shirt, and watching TV with him was a pretty solid fantasy. Mulder had never really been one to fantasize about domestic situations but every time he found himself in said situation with her, he wanted more.
Maybe, one day.
Scully, for her part, had declined to play hooky with him. While mildly disappointed, he loved it when she’d changed into one of his shirts, brushed her teeth with the toothbrush he’d gotten for her, and crawled into bed with him. He was spooned tightly around her as she fell asleep. His last thoughts before joining her in unconsciousness were that he wouldn’t mind going to sleep like this every night.
Maybe, one day, they’d go home together at the end of the work day, in a place with both of their names on the lead. Or, hell, maybe to that house she wanted. They could get ready for and go to bed together every night.
One day, he hoped, they’d get there.