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The sound of his rushed footsteps cascaded in his ears, reverberating with painful throbs through his head as he continued his pursuit, unrelenting against his aching chest gasping for air. Ginoza whirled around the corner, jacket sent half-off his shoulders with the force, focus solely reserved for his wounded companion.
Ginoza and Teppei had embarked on a standard mission, tasked with locating an unknown individual deemed as a threat by the system. Having been undercover at the moment of culmination, Teppei and Ginoza were forced to separate and flee an explosion of bullets, a wide spray that had landed a hit on Teppei, the bullet cleanly exiting from his pelvis, a bloodied hole the only evidence left behind. The gunshot had pierced Teppei’s femoral nerve, immediately collapsed to the ground, leg temporarily paralyzed beneath him.
Ginoza skidded against the concrete as he reached Teppei, uncaring of the searing pain and the bloodied pants the action accompanied. He raked his eyes over the injured man before him, searching for any other potential wounds. Noticing none, Ginoza glanced over his shoulder before gritting his teeth, heaving Teppei unto his back, hastily carrying the other to a secluded spot they had identified earlier. Ginoza heard Teppei release a foamed hiss, his body overworking to compensate for the injury.
Ginoza set him down against a corner, the walls supporting Teppei’s weighted body. Ginoza ran his hands across Teppei’s leg, locating the gaping wound. Ginoza swore as he noticed the ichor dripping out.
“Do you have enough strength? We need to apply pressure.”
Ginoza saw how Teppei’s body strained as he moved, his shoulders painfully lined and firm. Muttering out a weak “Yeah,” Teppei placed his hands over the entry, leaning heavily on it, the combined force of his hands and the floor applying a barely strong enough pressure. Ginoza searched his body for a loose thread of clothing.
“Fuck.” He swore beneath his breath, instead choosing to tear a large thread of cloth from his jacket.
Reaching under Teppei’s leg, Ginoza spoke, barely concealing the trace of alarm within his tone. “I’ll try to do this quickly.”
He moved Teppei’s leg - not without eliciting an anguished moan from Teppei during the process - winding the cloth around the wound with an excessive force, focusing on ensuring the bind was as tight as possible. He glanced at his wristcom, noting the time. He laid Teppei’s leg flatly back down, straight against the floor. He glanced up at Teppei, taking in his face for the first time.
His eyes were partially lidded, straining to remain awake between the waves of pain that crashed over him. Teppei’s hair stuck to his forehead, the usually neatly-combed locks strewn about wildly.
Noticing Ginoza’s piercing gaze, Teppei emitted a weak laugh, a halfhearted attempt to lighten his partner’s mood. “I’ve got awful luck, haven’t I? I’m always the one to end up like this.”
Ginoza stared at Teppei for a moment, before sighing. “You are, aren’t you?” The tone of the reply came out somewhat soft, surprising Ginoza.
For the brief time that Ginoza had known Teppei, the other was always the one getting injured on expeditions, seemingly cursed to be eternally bound to a hospital bed. Ginoza was, at times, astonished by Teppei’s ability to attract all sorts of catastrophes, Ginoza’s emotions for him mixing into an amalgamation of pity and morbid fascination. In conjunction with that, to say that their first meeting was a disaster would be a colossal understatement.
The scenario was abhorrent, the flayed blood littered among the floor and the walls burned permanently on the back of Ginoza’s eyelids, unable to escape the memories even in sleep. The day haunted his every move, even escalating to puppeteering Ginoza on particularly harsh days, the emotions controlling him entirely, their grip on his mental state unrelenting.
Teppei stirred, drawing Ginoza’s attention back onto him fully. He watched as Teppei attempted to flex his leg muscles, however producing no result, his only reward was a sharpened pain shooting through his body, causing Teppei to double over with pain. Ginoza bolted to Teppei’s side, placing his hands on Teppei’s back for support.
Teppei grimaced, the emotion ugly upon his face. “I don’t think I can move.”
Ginoza swore. “Crap. I’m not sure if I can carry you back to the base. We’ll have to send out a call for help.” Ginoza opened his wristcom once more, relaying the situation to the inspector, before settling down.
“Help should arrive soon. I’ll stay with you until then, in case anyone finds us.”
Teppei’s eyebrows concaved. “I’m sorry. It must suck to be stuck with me, it’s my fault.”
“No, no it’s not. Don’t say that.” The reply came automatically out of Ginoza’s mouth, borne half out of politeness and half of genuine concern.
Despite everything, Ginoza felt no ill will towards the other man. Ginoza struggled to talk to him, at first, after the incident, nauseated feelings arising within his chest at the mere thought of talking to Teppei. Ginoza argued with himself, torn between knowing that Teppei was just following orders, that he had no way of knowing who he shot, and blaming him. Because that's what Ginoza did, it was all that Ginoza had known to do for so many years. Losing Risa felt as though his heart had been torn physically out of his chest, a final blow to everything Ginoza had experienced. Risa had been there to comfort him after the double loss of his father and his oldest friend, the only person he could confide in, for she was the last person Ginoza truly knew.
However, Ginoza was not blind. He was no longer the person he used to be, the unseeing man he was years ago. He saw how Teppei struggled with his own feelings of guilt, still unsteady after his conflicts. He recognized how Teppei would stiffen when he heard the sound of airplanes overhead, how strange scents would cause the man to freeze up. Ginoza noticed the dark circles beneath Teppei's eyes when he woke, how he depended on caffeinated drinks to get through the day due to his lack of sleep.
Ginoza knew that Teppei was struggling, falling beneath the waves of his own culpability, and Ginoza knew that it was up to him to drag Teppei out of his abyss.
(Perhaps, it was to atone for how he missed the signs of trauma in another person dear to Ginoza).
Ginoza met Teppei's eyes. "Please don't say such things. You cannot possibly be to blame for getting shot, of all things. And I," Ginoza swallowed, "don't hate you, nor do I resent you for anything that may have happened. It's not your fault."
Teppei broke eye contact with Ginoza, remaining silent. Ginoza was aware that Teppei's silence was due to him disbelieving Ginoza's words, unable to accept that, just perhaps, he wasn't to blame for what he had done.
When he spoke, Teppei's voice wavered. "I'm sorry."
"You don't need to keep saying that." Ginoza tenderly chided. He knew how it felt to feign strength, to pretend that he was strong. He recognized the way Teppei blamed himself, he recognized how he would do the same thing back when he was a kid. How Ginoza would blame himself for what his father did.
Ginoza reached over to cup Teppei's cheek in his hand, the other's facial hair softly scratching at his skin. It was Teppei's turn to stare.
"You had no way of knowing what would happen that day," Ginoza stated.
"But she was important to you. You two had been friends, -"
Ginoza cut Teppei's sentence off. "You were also friends with her, were you not?"
"But you two had known each other for a long time, I..."
"The amount of time knowing someone makes no difference. You have just as much reason to be sad over this, too. I'd wager you have more reason than I, even." Ginoza's gaze softened as he spoke, his guarded nature slowly slipping away.
"But you-!" Teppei tried to protest, before being silenced once more.
"Did you know who you were aiming at?"
Teppei looked down at the floor, his eyes firmly squeezed shut. Ginoza repeated the question.
Teppei's response was weak due to a combination of factors. "No."
"Were you ordered by an inspector to shoot?"
"Yes."
"Then it is not your fault." Ginoza firmly stated. "Had you disobeyed, the only change to the result would have been you also getting injured. If you didn't shoot, someone else would have. Nothing would have changed." Ginoza reached upwards and softly ran his fingers through Teppei's hair, gently returning the threads to their normal appearance, all while Teppei remained silent.
Ginoza gazed at him. "Is there anything I can do to convince you otherwise?"
Upon seeing the other shake his head, an idea floated through Ginoza's mind. A bizarre, previously unthought-of action that would perhaps demonstrate to Teppei his feelings. The idea came suddenly, yet Ginoza found himself not averse to it, instead wanting to pursue the action, his heart already set on its course.
"Then how about I show you?"
Teppei raised his head, a puzzled expression replacing his former regret. "Huh?"
"Why don't I show you how I feel about you?"
"What do you mean?" Teppei's tone was confused, his eyebrows furrowing trying to decipher what the other man meant.
Ginoza simply smiled at him, before leaning forward to place a fluttery kiss upon Teppei's lips, light yet long enough for the intentions of the actions to become clear even to the man drowned in his guilt. Pulling apart, Ginoza felt a slight smile dawn on the corners of his mouth as he observed Teppei's shocked, deer-in-the-headlights expression, his eyes wider than Ginoza had ever seen them.
"Did that work?" Ginoza prodded, pulling Teppei out of his stupor.
"Ginoza, I- huh?" He stammered, taken aback by the action, Teppei stumbling over his words, much to the hilarity of Ginoza.
"Do you understand now?"
Teppei appeared out of his depths, with Ginoza wagering being due to the other not having received such affection in a despairingly long time.
"I don't hate you, Teppei, nor do I blame you for anything." Ginoza's voice grew lighter. "Nothing is your fault."
Ginoza watched as Teppei closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, seemingly deciding upon something dear to him. Teppei exhaled and returned Ginoza's gaze.
"Did you mean it?"
"Of course," Ginoza reassured. Teppei proceeded to break into a smile, a one that Ginoza had rarely seen, yet treasured nonetheless. The expression suited Teppei, and Ginoza found himself wishing to see it more often.
However suddenly, as though gravity had once again made itself known, Ginoza watched as Teppei winced in pain. Pulling the two back to reality, Ginoza looked at the cloth wound around Teppei's leg.
"Are you alright?"
"I'm," Teppei spoke, "A bit tired, to be honest."
Ginoza shifted his position, before gesturing for Teppei to rest his head on his lap, causing the other to flush at the concept.
"You need to rest," Ginoza spoke, softly pulling the other, mindful of not enunciating Teppei's pain.
Teppei, unable to resist, allowed himself to lay across Ginoza's legs, somewhat embarrassed. Despite that, however, Ginoza noticed how Teppei's eyelids soon began to flutter with the beginning of sleep, Ginoza choosing to softly continue running his fingers through Teppei's hair to further lull him into unconsciousness. They'd have to continue the conversation another time, however, Ginoza didn't mind.
With Teppei laying across his lap, Ginoza supposed that such a position was a reach even for an injured man. When the inspector arrived, he’d probably receive a strange look. Ginoza shrugged the thought off, deciding that he’d deal with that when it happened.
Ginoza had faced an overwhelming amount of loss in his past. But as he looked at Teppei, he found his resolve hardening, a fire igniting somewhere within his chest. He refused to lose anything - or anyone - else.