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Maybe Jyushi had bad nights more often than he realized, and maybe he spent more of them alone than he should.
Since he met Hitoya, it was like the older man had adopted him. It was often that Jyushi would visit him, just to talk or to sit, and know that he wasn’t alone. It was what every teen needed sometimes. Through the past few years, it was as if the teen’s mental health was on a downward spiral that got worse as time went on. It was strange— his life was in a constant state that felt like it was getting both better and worse than the past, and he really could not explain it.
Jyushi had some nights that were just horrible. All he wanted to do was curl up in his bed and disappear, to melt away like his eye makeup did when he cried hard enough. He’d clutch Amanda tight to his chest and just wish for a hug, wish for some help. He hated asking for help though. And before, his grandmother would find some way to comfort him— a hug, his favorite food, whatever he may have needed at that moment, would be given to him, without him even needing to request it. But that was no longer an available comfort.
That was where Hitoya stepped in. Sure, he may not have been the same type of comfort that Jyushi’s grandmother had been to him, but he still offered a familial sort of comfort that his parents didn’t often have time for. The lawyer did his best, though. Often he’d have to come up with comforting words as quick as possible, and sometimes his instincts would come to the wrong words and make things worse. Jyushi didn’t mind. While he thought of Hitoya as one of the coolest people to ever live, it’s not like he wasn’t still imperfect.
On this particular night, it was one of Jyushi’s bad nights. He was overwhelmed and all sorts of upset; it wasn’t a very good idea for him to be alone. As per usual when things got bad, he called Hitoya and to the lawyer’s lack of surprise, Jyushi was on the other end of the phone crying.
“What is it, Jyushi?” Hitoya inquired, sighing a little. The teen attempted a response but was having a hard time getting his words out. “R-really bad night. Can’t. Having a hard time speaking. Really bad.” It wasn’t uncommon for him to have a hard time speaking or just go fully silent when he was upset. Hitoya knew this for a fact. “Do you want me to come pick you up? We’ll have one of our sleepovers, yeah?” Hitoya offered. It sounded childish, but sometimes that was what Jyushi needed— a sort of comfort that reminded him of when he was younger— something to make up for the things he missed.
At that moment, Hitoya remembered: right, Jyushi was starting to get quiet. “Ah, right, Jyushi. If you’re startin’ to get all quiet, tap 1 time if you want me to pick you up, tap 2 times if you aren’t feelin’ it and you need something else.” Jyushi tapped on his phone once, which was kind of the expected response. “Alright then, I’ll be over in a few minutes. Don’t worry, don’t do anythin’ stupid. Just wait.” With that, Hitoya hung up the phone and walked his way to Jyushi’s. They didn’t live super far apart, so Hitoya decided the walk would be alright. Maybe a walk outside would help to ground the upset teen. Passing a local restaurant, he began to wonder if Jyushi had eaten anything yet. He’d ask that on the walk back to his apartment.
Before Hitoya could even knock, Jyushi had the door open. He had a bag packed with anything he needed for just the one night, and he was locking the door and getting out as fast as he possibly could. He just wanted to be out, and Hitoya understood this. “Hey kid. We’re walking back, I hope that’s alright.” Jyushi nodded to this, not really caring. Yeah, he could probably use it.
There was evidence of recent tears staining the poor kid’s face. Jyushi didn’t want to talk, it seemed. That was okay. At least Hitoya could keep an eye on him now. They walked back to the apartment in a comfortable silence. “Did you eat dinner or anything tonight, kid?” He tried to at least get something out of him. As much as he’d occasionally comment something about it, Hitoya didn’t really mind paying for a meal for Jyushi every so often, it was good to know the kid was eating. Jyushi held out his hand and moved it in a motion that communicated “somewhat”. He ate something, but it wasn’t a full meal. Alright. “Do you wanna go get something? We can pick up some food real quick and head on back, does that sound good?” Jyushi nodded.
Jyushi did not feel like being seen, really. Hitoya just asked him what he wanted to eat, which the black haired teen managed to get out, and told him to wait a few minutes while he went and got it for him. He just got some simple fast-food— it tasted good enough and it would fill him up for the night. They continued their walk back to Hitoya’s apartment, again, quiet as can be, aside from Jyushi thanking Hitoya for stopping to get food for him, and telling him he promised he’d pay him back for it. However, he was just told that he shouldn’t sweat it, and that Hitoya made plenty of money, that he could stand to spend a little of on a meal for someone he cared for.
It wasn’t long before they reached Hitoya’s apartment, after walking quietly through a slightly chilly night in Nagoya. Jyushi sat down at the table and took his food out of the little bag, once again thanking Hitoya before eating. He got more comfortable to speak within just a few minutes, but he still wasn’t speaking a whole lot. That was fine. Hitoya did some leftover paperwork from the day while Jyushi ate, sitting by him, doing what he could to be a comforting presence.
When Jyushi finished eating and talking was a little easier, Hitoya tried to ask what was wrong. The response he was met with was, “I’m still not sure how much I want to talk about it... I know I can’t just ignore it but I’m too tired to talk... it’s too much.” Hitoya nodded, he wasn’t going to press him, that would make things worse. “Alright. Do you wanna go to sleep soon? You are tired after all.” Jyushi nodded— sleep would help. He needed to wash his face and change into pajamas though, all the night time stuff.
While Jyushi went to change and wipe his makeup off, Hitoya set up the living room. Whenever Jyushi’s fatherly lawyer friend had him over for a “sleepover”, it just consisted of the two falling asleep on different couches in the same room with the TV playing softly. Jyushi could talk about what was bugging him eventually if he wanted to, but he didn’t have to. He could just fall asleep if he wanted, and that would be okay.
He came out of the bathroom with his ruined-by-tears makeup cleaned off, and he was now in more comfortable clothes. Hitoya himself had also changed into pajamas and had the couches in his living room set up with a few pillows on each. His couches were parallel to each other, with a table in the between. Jyushi sat comfortably on his designated couch, already clutching Amanda, and waiting for Hitoya to get blankets. He softly yawned, feeling himself get more tired. Before he knew it, Hitoya threw a soft, light blanket at him, and then carefully put a weighted blanket down on the couch he sat on. “Blankets for ya, kid. If you need more you know where to find ‘em.” Jyushi nodded. “Thank you so much, Hitoya-san.” The man nodded back, saying “Don’t mention it.”
Jyushi laid down, tucking himself under the blankets and getting comfortable. Hitoya got on his designated couch for the night and got himself comfortable, turning on the TV and putting on something simple to be mindless background noise. Maybe they’d watch it, maybe both of them would be asleep within the next 10 minutes. It didn’t matter. Jyushi was comfortable and felt exceedingly better than when he was home alone and sobbing. While his issues may not have been resolved, he had food in his body and knew that there was someone that cared about him. He knew that he had a father figure, a friend, who wasn’t gonna let him go off the deep end. A friend who would be there just to offer comforting silence. And to Hitoya, it meant a lot to be able to share with someone the same methods that his brother used to use to comfort him.