Chapter Text
Remind him of his reason why he was in front of Tetta's residence again?
Shuji genuinely can't remember. With the source of his amusement named Tetta Kisaki gone, his life had gone back to its original monotonous setting. It's almost as if half of him died along with Tetta. His life now is too boring and empty to the point his memory becomes foggy even though he's not as old yet. His eyes squinted as he lazily read the surname written on the plate outside the huge ass house. Kisaki.
His lanky figure swayed a little. It was unusual for him to feel this much loss of energy. He didn't even put his hair up like he usually does. There was no point in coming to his house, is there? They weren't even friends, Tetta said so himself a few times. He didn't take any of it to his heart, though. For the four-eyed guy, he was just a tool. And for Shuji, he was just an entertainment. It was a blurry yet clear relationship they had; no more, no less. Or so the tall guy liked to think.
Why was he here, then, at his late colleague's house?
He eyed the residence once more. Sighing, Shuji shook his head. Right, there was no reason for him to be here. Really. Nothing. If ever he'll come inside, it'd only be because Tetta told him so and now that he's gone, he had no reason to.
Seems like it's too late to back out now, though. It was when a pale and thin woman in her late 30s opened the gate and greeted him did the lanky guy realize he might be standing in front of the house for a bit too long.
"Good morning, young man. What can I do for you? I couldn't help but notice you standing in front of my house for quite a while," she asked politely, her voice strained with tiredness. Her eyes were hollow as if she cried a whole bucket earlier. Shuji flinched. Her grey orbs were awfully familiar and it strung some strings on his heart. Is this person Kisaki's mum?
Shuji was quick to recover. "Oh, good morning too, Auntie. I'm Kisaki— Tetta-kun's friend," he responded carefully, the word 'friend' associated with Tetta's name tasting like rust. "I'm just, uh, passing by. Sorry for taking your time! I'll be on my way now."
Shuji nearly cringed. He just knew wherever Tetta is right now and if he's hearing this exchange, he'd be puking his organs out. First of all, the term 'friends' doesn't suit the both of them at all and the nerd hated that term, too. Very much so. Second, why the fuck is he speaking like that? It was too polite for his character.
The tall guy moved quickly to fix his motorcycle. He was about to ride on it when he heard the old woman speak.
"Your motorcycle looks familiar," she blurted out. Before Shuji even opened his mouth to speak, the elder continued. "Wait, were you the one who takes my son home at midnight occasionally?"
And here he thought that Tetta was good at hiding and plans things foolproof. The nerd did fail a few times when colliding with Takemichi Hanagaki but that was because he is a semantic error. Was this woman an error of some sort too?
Shuji chuckled. He decided that he needs to go home before this conversation drags longer. "Ah, I don't think so, Auntie! I'm just a distant friend of Kisaki-kun. We're not close enough to stroll out at midnight." Apparently, they were close enough.
"So, maybe it's another friend of Kisaki-kun?" The young man grinned and scratched his head. Was that too obvious?
"Your motorcycle looks really similar, though." she mused. "Besides, I don't think my son has the capability to make friends. Not more than one, at least."
Shit. Shuji forgot that part. The older woman looked at him expectantly. Seems like she knew this from the start.
He whistled lowly. "Auntie, would you get mad if I say I lied?"
Her lips curved a little at the question. "Not at all, young man. What is your name again?"
"Hanma. Hanma Shuji."
"Hanma-kun. Got it. Would you like to come in, Hanma-kun?"
Shuji hesitated. This definitely wasn't in his plan. Not like he has one, though. But this was completely unprecedented. It almost feels like he's invading Tetta's privacy or something.
"Don't worry about the ones who are not here, Hanma-kun," she assured him. There was an unfathomable depth inside her grey eyes when she stated those words. It was a world he knew nothing about.
And it's almost the same as the orbs of some clever guy he knew he couldn't reach no matter how close they were when they chased the nights riding his cranky motorcycle. Strange.
Slowly, he nodded and followed her lead. He can't help but notice how graceful her movements were. It reminded him of how Tetta puts his manners above anything. It does make sense, though; he lived in the largest house in the subdivision. Of course they would probably have some sort of good business running; they're rich. And rich people are classy, sophisticated and elegant. Not that he'd know for sure but he has seen a lot of character tropes like those in movies.
Tetta though, in his memories, wasn't all about that rich boy act. He did use some expensive objects but he wasn't as showy as those other teenagers. He didn't like to brag. If anything, he'd even evade attention from others when needed. Shuji was sure that his late companion wasn't a classist.
"Oh, I haven't introduced myself yet, have I?" the woman asked. The tall guy nodded as a reply. Honestly, he forgot that part already. "My bad. I'm Kisaki Hideko, Tetta's mother. I think you figured that out already."
He hummed in acknowledgement. "Nice name you got there, Auntie." Hideko only chuckled.
"Would you mind waiting on the couch for a second? I'll just prepare some snacks."
"Sure," Shuji responded as he sat on the large couch. The elder disappeared quickly onto the kitchen.
The lanky guy lazily eyed the interior of the residence. It was larger than it looked on the outside. The black and white color combination looked neat and the decorations weren't flashy as those mansions in the TV shows looked like, but he was sure as hell that the complex painting on the wall costs more than his life.
Shuji smirked when he brought his attention to the hanging chandelier. When he was a child, he used to think what would it be like if a chandelier suddenly crashed over him. Would there be a chance of survival? He clicked his tongue. Oh, how he wishes that Tetta is still here.
He could've asked him that dumb question. He knew that the nerd would answer the question seriously, maybe after looking at him judgingly like he was the stupidest human in the universe. It was fun, those little exchanges. It was his favorite. Maybe he took those moments for granted.
A sigh escaped from his lips. Tetta lived in this house his whole life. He didn't notice it earlier because he was conversing with Hideko, but the house did feel lonely and empty. He somehow knew that Tetta didn't have a good life in his house. Not that the sly bastard actually opened up but sometimes, no matter how cautious the person was, words of tragedy just spill from him unconsciously.
His eyes turned to Hideko when she came out of the kitchen. There's a tray in her hands that contains a glass full of orange juice and some biscuits beside it. Her mouth formed an o-shape when the pitcher of orange juice almost slipped from the tray.
"Take it slow, Auntie!" the younger one blurted. "Need a hand?"
"Yes, please," she agreed. He jumped out of the couch and helped her put the snacks on the center table. He also came inside the kitchen to get the other snacks Hideko was supposed to bring out. Shuji noticed how messy the sink was.
"Ah, I'm sorry you had to see the mess, Hanma-kun. I wasn't used to moving around the house because the helpers and staff usually did these tasks but now that I have sent them off for the time being…" her voice faltered.
An ' oh' left Shuji's mouth. So that's why it felt too empty. As they sat down on the couch, his hand quickly moved towards the cookie and ate it. His sweet tooth never died.
"How does it taste?" Hideko inquired as she poured the juice on their glasses.
"It's good. Needs more sugar, though."
"I'm glad you think that," the elder sighed in relief. "I baked them this morning. It took me a lot of attempts before it turned out decently. I will take note of your suggestion, young man."
The shameless guest promptly nodded. Silence then ensued in the living room. Only the sound of the air conditioner can be heard inside. The teen suddenly felt awkward while reaching out for another cookie because he was the only one eating.
"So, uh," he started, shaking off the awkwardness he's feeling. "Why'd you invite me in, Auntie?"
Hideko took a sip on her glass. "I wanted to meet my son's only friend. That is all."
His eyes squinted and thought, "If Kisaki is here, he'd have his eyebrows knitted with an absurd look in his face. That bastard."
"Auntie, I think there's a misunderstanding here." Shuji laughed. "Kisaki—Tetta-kun and I aren't exactly friends. I might have drove him home a few times but—"
"Yes, you are," the elder cut his words short. "I know Tetta more than he thinks I do. That kid wouldn't ride anyone's motorcycle and would rather walk to his house alone—he didn't like having a debt to another person. Well, unless, of course, he's comfortable enough with the person.
He wouldn't admit it but you meant more to him. That child might be a genius but he's not so bright when it comes to his emotions and being honest."
Those words made the younger shut his mouth. What Hideko said makes sense. Shuji knew that he himself thinks of Tetta as more than just a colleague or some sort but he also knew how both of them work; they weren't meant to fit in the bounds of the human relationship called 'friendship'.
Friendships are pure and honest. Kisaki Tetta and Hanma Shuji weren't. They're both liars and tainted; a hopeless cause beyond remedy. They'll only make the term 'friends' cursed with their own venom.
He wished that Tetta's mother hadn't said those words. It just makes him dizzy.
"Well, it's partly my fault though." he heard Hideko mumble.
"What is?" he tilted his head in curiosity.
"Tetta being unable to decipher feelings."
"How so?"
"He lived in a cold home. My husband and I were awful at being parents," she explained shamefully. "Tetta basically raised himself.
We did give him shelter and food—that's our basic responsibility. But he taught himself everything else. The only thing we taught him is to be above everyone else—which is wrong. I shouldn't have done that."
"My son didn't get to be a child."
Shuji watched as Hideko cried. He's genuinely clueless on what to do in this situation. Tetta might be dumb at feelings but he's no better. He could only avert his gaze and let her cry.
"Well, that's that," she wiped her tears. "No point in regretting. It's too late. I can't redeem myself anymore. The damage has been done."
"Right."
The younger let the elder fix herself. He already lost the appetite to even eat the remaining cookies on the tray. He then wondered if he could take them home later.
"Hanma-kun?" she called him softly.
"Yes, Auntie?"
"Actually, I have something I'd like to show you."
"What is it? Are you finally going to reveal that your family is part of a yakuza?" he joked but Hideko didn't laugh. He punched himself mentally.
"It's Tetta's room."
Shuji froze. He has a mental image of what Tetta's room would look like but he hadn't actually gone there. He can't help but be curious.
He let his figure lean on the couch. "Wait, Auntie, is that really alright?"
"What do you mean?"
"We're basically strangers. What if I'm really not the one who takes Tetta-kun home at midnight but rather a thief who's going to steal in this house?" he questioned her. "Why do you trust me too much, Auntie?"
"You trust me too much too, Hanma-kun," she grinned, her tear stained face glowing brighter. "How can you be so laid back and eat these cookies without worries? What if I put poison on them?"
For a moment, Shuji became worried. He didn't see Hideko eat any of those cookies, not even once. Plus the fact that Tetta, that little devil came from her, it wouldn't be strange if she's evil or some sort too. But can she really?
"The look on your face is priceless!" she giggled. "I'm just kidding."
Smartass. Now he knows who Tetta got those smart genes from.
"Well, do you want to see my son's room, Hanma-kun? I assure you that this is not a trap," she teased vaguely. Shuji ignored her tone.
"Sure."
Both of them got on their feets. He hummed the song 'La Vie En Rose' while they walked upstairs. It was a song his father played a lot in their ramen shop. His father said that it reminded him of his late wife. Shuji didn't actually like the song because it's not his style but since he has heard it a lot, it got stuck on his mind.
"La Vie En Rose?" the elder recognized that made Shuji stop humming.
"Yeah."
"I didn't expect that you're the type of guy who liked old songs."
"Well, technically, this is the only song I know from the 50s. It just got stuck in my mind."
Their footsteps were the only sound that can be heard in the wide hallway of the residence's second floor. There were multiple rooms and simple ornaments were placed here and there, filling the empty hall with a bit of color. Those decorations might not look expensive but the tall guy knew better than to judge.
After walking for a little more, they stopped at a door. The elder glanced at him sideways before reaching out her right hand to open the door. She then motioned for him to come inside the room.
"I didn't touch anything here and left it the way it was. Feel free to wander."
His mental image of Tetta's room was correct; it looked like a room of some edgy teen who makes the color black their personality. The curtains were black as well as the bedsheets and pillows—almost everything is black except for the white wall and the wooden study table. Though covered in darkness, everything was organized and neat.
Shuji felt at loss. The room really smelled like him. Minty but also sweet. What the hell was that?
Walking through the room near the bookshelf, a medium sized box caught his eye. It didn't look like it belonged in the room. "Hm?"
"What's this strange looking box doing over here, Auntie?" he inquired.
Hideko walked over. "Oh. I was going to get rid of that."
"Why though?"
"That box is Tetta's. It contains his personal stuff he didn't want us to see. He's private, even to his own family." she explained. "I feel the need to get rid of it in order for me to resume."
"Personal stuff? Like a diary or something?" he said jokingly.
"Oh, yes. He probably put them there."
"Wait, seriously?"
"Yes. It was a habit he adopted when they were asked to write a diary for the whole school year in his elementary class. I don't think that habit left him."
Shuji closed his gaping mouth. So he did that. "Interesting."
Hideko opened the windows in her late son's room to let the fresh air in. "Say, Hanma-kun."
"Yeah?"
"Would you like to take his stuff home?"
His left eyebrow raised. "Eh?"
She then closed her eyes and felt the breeze coming in from the outside. "I'm not asking you to keep it, Hanma-kun. Do whatever you want with it. Just… a favor."
The elder turned her head to him. Shuji met those familiar grey eyes again.
"Take the box away from this house."
▪︎
Riding his motorcycle, Shuji wondered what was with Tetta's mother's desperation to remove the box from the residence. Her eyes glinted with emotions he couldn't even comprehend. Was it hatred? Regret? Shame?
He'll never know. We all have our own worlds to worry about. Shuji didn't like orbiting around another person.
He thought of a place where he could leave the box and go. He didn't want to snitch onto a dead person's secrets.
A part of himself is curious about the stuff in there, though. That asshole part of himself says, " Why worry? The nerd is dead. What can he do to you after you read his diary? Show up on your dreams and recite mathematical formulas?"
The better part of him responded with " You're hopeless." and facepalmed. His asshole inner self rejoiced.
In the end, he did take the box home.
"'Llo, Pops. How's the shop?" He greeted his father, pretending that he had a normal day.
"Good. Why don't you help sometimes, huh, you lazy ass?!" his father yelled which earned a chuckle from him.
"Chill, old man. You're looking a lot older than your actual age because you're stressing over everything."
"AND WHOSE FAULT IS THAT?!"
Shuji heard a clang after he closed the door of his room. His father's spatula hit the door instead of him. Sighing, he dropped the box he's carrying on his own bed.
"Hmm, let's see what's in it."
Getting the carton lid out of the box, a number of thick notebooks welcomed him. He took one of the notebooks and noticed that the current year they're in is written on its cover—2006. The other notebooks have different years written on their covers too. Precisely, the past years.
Once he got the last notebook out, he checked the year in its cover. 2002. There are five notebooks in total.
His eyes eyed the other contents of the box and decided to scan them later. First, he had to see what's with these notebooks. He figured that those were Tetta's precious diaries.
Setting aside the box, he laid down comfortably and flipped open the notebook with the year '2002' written on its cover. He reached for the cookies he took home with him from Hideko and ate it as he read.
A huge 'DIARY' written badly using a black marker welcomed Shuji through his journey on Tetta's diary. A smirk formed on his lips because he was right; there's no single strand of creativity nor colours on Tetta's body ever since he was a child. There's nothing on the front page except for the single word explaining what it was—a diary.
"He could've used some doodles or colours, yo," the shameless reader snickered.
"Guess the sayings were right about smart people having bad handwriting. I have had bad handwriting too, ever since I was a kid, but Kisaki's just pure hopeless."
Shuji decided that diaries were the most interesting reading materials ever written on Earth.