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"This is a little weird, no?" Peter asked, shifting for the millionth time in the past few minutes. Tony knew the kid had trouble sitting still, but they were tied together so when he moved, he made the wire dig deeper into him too. For once the kidnappers had been smart and tied them in a knot that grew tighter the more they moved.
Not moving was Peter Parker's kryptonite.
"Kid," Tony warned. He'd heard him slapped one too many times for his liking in the past hour of their captivity.
"Am I wrong?" He asked, shifting yet again. Their bare backs were pressed against each other and there was already sweat building between their skin. It was hot wherever the hell they were being kept, and not even being stripped to their underwear had helped.
Well, Tony should clarify they didn't strip down themselves. They had woken up in their underwear in a tiny room and they'd been left like that for a while until someone finally came in.
Then they started tying them together and of course, the kid had something to say about it.
"Shut up," the guy tying the rope said, and Tony heard the aggravation in his voice. Unfortunately, right now his attention was on Peter.
"Imagine waking up with your mentor, whom you kinda see as your father figure, but he gets all grumpy when you bring it up so you don't really bring it up because you don't want to make things weird or awkward--."
"Kid," Tony said, desperate to get him to be quiet.
"Right. Sorry I go off topic a lot. So, anyway, father figure-- you wake up with him in this weird room, and you're both naked-- well. Not naked. I think I'd probably eat my web shooter if we were naked --."
"Kid," he said again, closing his eyes and counting to five.
"You're just in your underwear. But still. Weird. And did I mention I don't like to make things weird with him?"
Peter hadn't even stopped to take a breath yet.
"So you're both in our underwear and then to make things worse, you're tied together. Like skin touching skin. Boxers touching boxers--."
A sharp sound of a slap cut him off. Tony saw red despite the fact that Peter didn't seem to care.
"Dude, that's not cool. Child abuse is like super frowned upon. But so is kidnapping…hey, is it still considered kidnapping because Mr. Stark isn't a kid, technically. It'd be like adultnapping-- dadnapping."
"Stark, if you do not get him to shut up, I will rip his tongue out so he has no choice," the man that tied them together said, and he sounded like he was being serious. Tony didn't want to test that out.
"Peter, buddy, please be quiet," Tony literally begged. He knew he was asking a lot of him though because along with sitting still, staying quiet was the hardest thing for him to do.
"I just wanna talk to my new friend."
"He's not your friend, kid."
"Listen to him. I am not your friend."
"Really?" Peter asked, tilting his head against Tony's. "You had me fooled."
The man moved quickly and suddenly Tony's head was being shoved forward until his chin was pressed against his chest while Peter's head was being shoved back. Tony guessed he had a handful of Peter's curls too by the sound of pain Peter made.
"What is wrong with you? Is there something wrong in your brain?" The man shouted, shaking Peter's head, knocking their skulls together.
"Besides for my anxiety, PTSD, and ADHD?" Peter asked. "Probably. I'm talking to my therapist about it. When we figure it out, I'll let you know-- Oh, wow. That's a knife."
"I will carve your tongue from your mouth." The man warned, making Tony's heart pound against his chest. "And I will feed it to Stark."
"Oh, that's creative. I just don't think he'll eat it because... it's not coffee," Peter said, still in that faux chipper voice of his he loved using for Spider-Man. Before this, they had been patrolling the city together and had been knocked out by something that electrocuted them through their suits-- it was honestly a blur. Peter had been making the snarky comments to criminals all day. Tony didn't mind it usually.
But when they were captured, and Peter was being hurt for being a smart ass, he indeed minded very much.
There was more rustling and Peter's head was pushed back even more, making Tony's chin dig into his chest painfully. Peter let out a grunt that sounded almost muffled before going quiet. The room was silent and Tony could hear Peter's heavy breathing.
"Go on. Speak," the man snarled. "Not so fuckin' loud when I got a blade in your mouth, huh?"
Tony tensed. One wrong move of Peter's tongue and it was getting sliced if that knife was in his mouth. Even if Peter kept his retorts to himself, he wouldn't be able to stay still very long.
"He won't mouth off. Just leave him alone. He's a kid." Tony couldn't couldn't see the situation or the man's face to know if his begging was effective at all.
"I told him to shut up."
"And he will," Tony promised. "He talks a lot, I know. But it grows on you. I promise. He can't help it, and it's endearing. Please don't cut his tongue out."
The man didn't reply, but Peter's breathing quickened with a little whimper.
"Please," Tony said again. "Please."
"Fine. He gets one more chance."
Then the pressure was gone from Tony's head and his neck returned to its upright position. He wished he could check Peter over and make sure he was okay. The man had moved fast... what if his blade had accidentally nicked Peter's tongue?
Peter didn't say anything either. It sounded like he was trying to control his breathing again. Tony stayed quiet too, trying to listen to even the quietest sound of Peter covering a whimper. He didn't sound in pain though. Tony did notice that a moment later, he began to fidget in the ropes even more than he had been.
It was killing him not to speak.
"Ah, peace and quiet," the man said smugly. "Woulda threatened to carve that tongue out a while ago if I knew you'd listen, brat."
Tony held his breath, waiting for the snarky reply. But he said nothing. Was Peter okay?
There was a sudden knock at the door and the man huffed. "What do they want now?" He muttered, presumably walking to answer the door.
Peter was the one facing the doorway, so Tony could only hear it open before there was a sudden familiar sound of vibranium hitting a bad guy right in the face.
It was such a beautiful sound, and a sexier sight. Too bad Tony couldn't see. "Is that my husband?"
"Yes! Finally!" Peter said, sounding alright. "Thought I was gonna die."
Steve's reply was instant and full of concern. "Was he trying to kill you?"
"No," Peter answered. "I wasn't allowed to talk."
"Oh," Steve said, relieved to hear Peter wasn't seconds away from dying before he rescued them. Peter wasn't their son, but it was the closest they'd ever get to a kid. Steve had a protective streak when it came to Peter.
"That guy you knocked out only threatened to feed my tongue to Mr. Stark after he carved it from my head," Peter said nonchalantly.
"It seems I came just in time then," Steve said, his boots walking across the floor from the sound of it.
"You did," Tony said, only a little upset he couldn't see his husband storm in and save the day. "The kid must have skipped his meds today."
"I was just having a conversation," Peter said. "I didn't think it was cool of him to strip us from our suits before tying us up."
Steve chuckled. "Nice boxers."
"Thanks, I bought them at Comic Con."
Tony glanced down and saw the Captain America shields on Peter's underwear. "I'm hurt. Not Iron Man?"
"Those are dirty."
"I didn't need to know that, kid."
"Oops, sorry."
Tony sighed as Peter squirmed again, tugging on their ropes. "Can you untie this kid before he cuts our circulation off, babe?
Steve began to untie their knots and Tony sighed in relief when the ropes fell to the ground around them. He helped Tony stand up even though he could get up just fine.
"You know, usually after you untie me, you kiss all the spots rubbed raw," Tony whispered even though there weren’t any rashes from the rope burn. Peter hadn't squirmed that much.
"Ew! Ew!" Peter yelled, covering his ears. "Super hearing! I don't want to know about your nasty sex life."
"One day you'll understand, kid," Tony said, enjoying the way his face burned red. It was payback for being a little shit and making him worry about him getting his fucking tongue cut off. "And when you do, establish safe words."
Peter gagged as he looked down at the unconscious man on the floor. "Please wake up and stab me. Please end my suffering."
"I'm telling May you made that joke," Tony said simply because obviously the kid didn't care about taking years off of his life.
"No! She doesn't appreciate them like you do, Mr. Stark."
Meaning she didn't let him make those kinds of jokes without tearing him a new one. Rightfully so.
"Then cut it out."
"Like my friend was gonna do to my tongue?"
"Kid."
"Kidding!"