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Every fallen leaf was a life they couldn't save. Someone's parent, someone's child, someone's loved one.
Moguri sat close to their apartment house in Lavender Beds, watching the leaves fall slowly to the ground. Autumn had arrived in Eorzea and Gridania was the best place to view the leaves turn various shades of red and orange before they fell off the tree.
They sighed, sleep deprived after another night of terrors and fear, awful memories and haunting dreams. Moguri didn't want to rely on their friends all the time when they couldn't find rest at night. They felt too much like a burden already. The lalafell stared at every new leaf that had dried and crinkled and finally got blown off by the next little wind.
Every fallen leaf was a life they took. Someone that fought for their country, believing they did the right thing just like Moguri wanted to believe they did. But was it really the right thing? To kill under the premise of war? They never truly understood.
Every fallen leaf - another life. They could suddenly feel the weight of hundreds of thousands of leaves crashing down on their small body. The many lives they could have saved, the many lives they took in battle. The weight felt unbearable. They wanted to cry and scream but their body was captured, unmoving despite the inner struggle.
The leaves kept falling. The weight kept adding up. Memories of shooting at a Garlean soldier, seeing his blood spilled, hearing him whisper the name of a possible loved one in his dying breath. A child dying before their eyes as Moguri was too late to reach it in time. All of these unfortunate souls became voices that haunted them at night.
Moguri's body started shaking and yet they couldn't avert their gaze. Every fallen leaf, it kept whispering into their ears, another life you lost. One day they'd too would turn red and dry out, falling off the tree of life. One day, this would be the fate of all that was dear to Moguri. The thought of it scared them just further.
They didn't notice that someone sat down next to them, they didn't hear his voice or see him. But they smelled a familiar scent of honey and baked dough. A sweet and comforting scent that did let their forced focus crumble. A hand had reached out to them, offering a honey muffin. Moguri shifted their gaze to the sweet offer and then to the person the hand belonged to.
Urianger smiled softly without saying a word, waiting for Moguri to react in some way. The lalafell carefully took the treat in both of their hands. Soft and still warm - freshly baked. They took in the smell again, comforting. Real. They let out a breath they didn't know they were holding.
The elezen retreated his hand and instead put one of his hands on Moguri's head, gently and slowly ruffling through the short hair. "Doth thee wanteth to speak of it?" He asked with his usual calm voice. Moguri shook their head. They didn't feel able to talk and knew Urianger would understand. So instead of speaking, they offered him the tiniest of smiles, a way to thank him without any words.
Urianger nodded, smiling back. He did understand, his hand stilling on their head and only his thumb rubbing gentle circles around their nape. It felt grounding for Moguri, pulling them fully back to reality. They took a shy bite off their favourite treat. Sweet and comforting. Tears rolled down their cheeks, sobbing and sniffling as they slowly ate the little muffin that they held onto. Urianger didn't say a thing. He just was there, letting them cry, silently comforting his dearest friend with gentle pats on the head and calming rubs on the back.
Moguri didn't manage to finish their beloved treat, by now the half eaten muffin was soaked in salty tears. Urianger sighed softly as he took the half eaten good out of their hands before his friend's tears ruined it completely. "May I?" He asked. Moguri blinked some wetness away off their eyes and nodded. Their friend didn't mind finishing the slightly squished, crumbled muffin that now had a little salty taste to it. Moguri watched him, hand reaching out to pick a crumb off his beard. Urianger reached out as well, long fingers wiping some fresh tears off his friend's face. They both stared at each other for a few seconds before both couldn't help a soft chuckle.
How Urianger managed to find out Moguri needed help always stayed his secret. He didn't need to ask the cards for that either, it was pure intuition.