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1
“Hakkai!” He called his name.
Hakkai turned around, stopped chatting with Takemichi and Chifuyu. He stood up, walking towards Mitsuya hurriedly.
“Taka-chan, what’s going on?”
Mitsuya said apologetically to him, “Go home by yourself today, I have something to do later.”
The fervor in Hakkai’s eyes cooled down after he blinked, the expression revealed a flash of loss. His eyebrows dropped and he forced a smile, “I see.”
Mitsuya didn’t miss the disappointment in his eyes. He wanted to explain, but in the end he didn’t say anything, just silently watched Hakkai turned around and leaved.
Draken leaned in, with one hands placed on Mitsuya’s shoulders.
“Don’t you think you’re too indifferent to Hakkai?”
The tone was slightly disapproving and condemned. Others maybe couldn’t detect it, but Mitsuya got the meaning.
Mitsuya frowned, turned his head to look at him, and threw Draken’s arm away from his shoulders.
“Ah? Am I?”
Draken took his hand back. He looked at Hakkai’s back gradually moving away, “He might feel tired if he keeps chasing you, aren’t you afraid that he will run away?”
Mitsuya followed his gaze and looked over – Hakkai looked tall and wiry, especially standing next to Takemichi and Chifuyu.
He never thought about the so-called problem Draken had just said – it would be almost impossible if Hakkai had walked away from him.
Mitsuya remained silent. Draken shook his head and patted Mitsuya’s shoulder hard.
“Let’s go. Mikey is waiting for us.”
2
“Leader, the tall and not-talking delinquent comes again!”
Mitsuya didn’t stop guiding the member of crafting club, he squinted slightly, out of the corner of his sight, Hakkai leaned against the door frame expressionlessly, with his hands in the pockets.
The member had just called Mitsuya was a petite girl. She stood on tiptoe trying to strike up a conversation with Hakkai, but Hakkai’s eyes were cold, he looked at some place in the home ec classroom, didn’t have any reaction.
Perhaps such behavior in other’s eyes seemed that Hakkai was pretending to be cool, but Mitsuya understood the true side of Hakkai in private – he was not good at getting along with girls, even to the point that he ignored them, so it made him look a little indifferent and arrogant.
The petite girl hugged a piece of cloth and returned to her seat. She complained jokingly, “It’s a pity that he is so handsome but he doesn’t speak with me.”
As she passed by Mitsuya, Mitsuya noticed her reddish ears. Suddenly, there was a strange feeling in his mind, but it was quickly dissipated by the ringing bell.
The bell reminded him that the agreement time with Hakkai had arrived. Hakkai liked to be free and unconstrained, but he was disciplined in matters related to Mitsuya – showing up on time, and sending regular greeting cellphone messages to him. Those kind of performances made Mitsuya feel that Hakkai had devoted his mind to him. Although Mitsuya was joyful, he never showed it.
Mitsuya packed up his schoolbag, saying goodbye to the members one after another, and walked to Hakkai with bag in his backhand.
“Let’s go. What do you want to eat today?”
Hakkai regained his consciousness. His eyes were clear and bright, “As long as it’s cooked by Taka-chan, anything is fine.”
Walking out of the home ec classroom together, Hakkai turned his head to him, and couldn’t wait to say, “I had asked Yuzuha to buy the candy hair accessories that Luna and Mana wanted.”
His tone seemed to request a praise from Mitsuya. Mitsuya felt a little bit resigned, but couldn’t bear to rebuke him. Just as Mitsuya wanted to tell him that he shouldn’t spoil his sisters, a girl with a high ponytail suddenly rushed out from the nearby classroom.
She ran straight to Hakkai, blocking the way of them. Mitsuya saw that she dressed up considerately with exquisite makeup, and her flushed face let Mitsuya easily guess what was going to happen next.
“Shi, Shiba-kun! Please accept it!”
The girl forced a small bag into Hakkai’s hand, then turned around and ran back to her classroom. There were giggling sounds from the classroom, others teasing out the girl. The strange feeling had happened in the home ec classroom just now occupied Mitsuya’s heart again, but this time it carried a strong anxiety.
Hakkai held a bag of handmade biscuits beautifully packaged, looked at him embarrassedly and helplessly. “Taka-chan...”
– Why had he never noticed that Hakkai was so popular with girls before?
3
“Taka-chan? Why are you here?”
According to Hakkai’s wide-opened eyes, and the brilliance of his face, Mitsuya affirmed that his inferences throughout the morning were totally wrong. He might be really think too much, but why didn’t he receive the goodnight text messages or phone call from Hakkai last night, neither even this morning?
Throughout the morning sitting in the classroom, Mitsuya’s mind kept showing the images of yesterday. He let Hakkai accept the biscuits the girl gave. After all, it was a token of her adoration for Hakkai. But did Hakkai really enjoy the biscuits happily? On the other hand, he recalled that Yuzuha had said that Hakkai matured late and wasn’t good at dealing with the opposite sex, but it didn’t mean that Hakkai didn’t like girls.
The thoughts of Mitsuya went back and forth, without any progress and getting deeper and deeper. Until noon, he hadn’t received any message from Hakkai. The uneasiness forced him to skip class rarely and rode to Hakkai’s school.
However, when it came to face-to-face, he couldn’t say anything – how should he start it? Why did he didn’t receive the regular greeting messages?
“Taka-chan?”
Mitsuya avoided the confused gaze from Hakkai, he raised his hand to rub the back of his neck.
“Nothing... Did I miss out your message? I’m worried that something happened to you.”
“I forgot to charge my phone last night.” Hakkai, who was tall and had a brilliant fighting record, blinked and asked curiously, “What things would happen to me?”
“Traffic accidents or something were also possible, right?” Mitsuya cleared his throat to cover up the botched lies. “Forget it. I should go back.”
Mitsuya didn’t give Hakkai any time to react, he turned and left Hakkai‘s classroom, didn’t want him to see through his mind. But as he expected, Hakkai almost immediately caught up with him and shouted from behind, “Would you like to stay here for a lunch with me?”
Mitsuya hesitated for a while before turning around. He thought he would see the eager from Hakkai’s eyes, looking forward to his acceptance of the invitation as usual – but in fact, a beautiful stranger girl stopped in front of Hakkai. She carried a bento bag with floral pattern.
“I prepared lunch for Shiba-kun again. Could you accept it this time?”
“...Huh?”
Mitsuya turned away and leaved quickly. Before Hakkai disappeared around the corner, Mitsuya saw him take the bento bag from the girl’s hand.
Mitsuya’s heart sank suddenly. He tried to stay calm and convince himself that he hadn’t seen anything, but the cold tingling sensation made the muscles all over his body numb, all the way up the back of his neck and across his face.
He desperately wanted to escape from here.
4
Taka-chan! Sorry! I wanted to buy you lunch this noon.
Until evening, Mitsuya received the message of Hakkai. He knew that Hakkai didn’t lie, but unusual accidents happened on two consecutive days really made him difficult to digest. Even though he was calm and self-restraint, it let him do many impulsive things.
Like at this moment, he obviously only needed to reply goodnight, but he added a few more words to the end of the message uncontrollably.
It’s fine. Is that bento delicious?
Not bad.
5
Hakkai shrank his slender arms and legs in the single-seater sofa, this odd posture seemed abnormally wronged. He held the cellphone, and his dull expression had pure confusion in eyes. He hesitated some words constantly in his mouth.
Yuzuha lied on the couch, tore off the facial mask on her face. She interrupted him unbearably, “What’s the matter with you?”
Hakkai frowned and said uncertainly, “Taka-chan acts so weird these days.”
Yuzuha sat up and rolled her eyes where Hakkai could not see. The infatuation of her brother over Mitsuya was too crazy, even though she was just a bystander, she couldn’t tolerate it sometimes. She believed that Mitsuya was also immersed in this admiration. But eventually, the day was coming.
“You might have annoyed him. How about don’t bother him for some days? You’re too clingy. Just leave him alone.”
Hakkai was stunned, and he hesitantly accepted Yuzuha suggestion.
“...I see.”
6
Mitsuya put down the soup ladle and turned off the gas stove.
He called his sister to help set up the dishes and chopsticks. Luna counted the number of chopsticks and asked suddenly, “Onii-chan, why hasn’t Hakkai-nii-san been here for so long? He promised to buy hair accessories for me and Mana last time.”
Mitsuya was stung by the inadvertent words of Luna. Except for the short message in the morning and evening, Mitsuya hadn’t seen Hakkai for a few days. Hakkai was even absent the regular assembly of Tou-man. Mitsuya didn’t get any notification until Draken told him that Hakkai had skip over him and asked Mikey for a week of leave in private.
After Draken conveyed it, he smiled and joked, “Do you really let him go?”
This time Mitsuya didn’t keep silence, he shrugged at Draken, “Maybe, I don't know.”
Why did Hakkai suddenly avoid seeing him? The answer to the question seemed obvious after the pursuit of girls in two consecutive days, but Mitsuya didn’t want to think about it.
“I'll help you ask him again.” Mitsuya stretched out his hand and rubbed the top of Luna’s head. “You couldn’t ask for anything from someone next time, get it?”
Luna pursed her lips and answered perfunctorily.
7
“Well, Shiba-kun! Would you like to hang out with me after school?”
After the girl spoke, Hakkai had noticed her presence. She was standing next to Hakkai’s desk, her upper body leaning forward, made Hakkai reflexively retreated to the other side.
All girls except Yuzuha seemed to look the same for Hakkai. It took him half a minute to vaguely recognize that she was the classmate who gave him bento a few days ago – at that moment, because he was anxious to catch up with Mitsuya, Hakkai had to accept the bento. But when he passed the girl and wanted to catch up with Mitsuya, Mitsuya had already left.
Hakkai lowered his eyelashes, avoiding her expectation eyes. He heard the girl spoke, “Sorry. Is it too personal?”
In order to avoid the intersection of eyes, Hakkai didn’t receive the admiration in the girl’s eyes, nor did he see her flushed cheeks. He thought that his rude behavior of not responding, as always, would make girls lose interest and leave. But the girl still asked persistently, “Then, was the bento delicious that day?”
His thoughts drifted far away. He hadn’t eaten home-cooked food made by Mitsuya for several days. He stayed at home and played video games these few days, Yuzuha laughed at him because she thought he seemed like a puberty girl.
The girl didn’t get the response from him, she went further and tried, “If you didn’t mind, would I make a bento for you tomorrow?”
Hakkai felt embarrassed. He hoped that time would pass faster. When he faced this unmanageable situation, he usually leaved instantly, but his seat was by the window and his way was jammed by the girl, so he couldn’t go anywhere.
Hakkai felt helpless, had no choice but to follow her words and responded casually.
As expected, the girl who got the response left with satisfaction. Hakkai breathed a sigh of relief. He supported his chin and continued to look out the window.
– What is Taka-chan doing now? Is Taka-chan still angry? Is he really too clingy?
If he endured for a few days could make everything return to the way it was before, then this lonely miss now would be worth it.
8
If Mikey hadn’t ordered everyone to be present at this temporary cadre meeting, Mitsuya didn’t know when he would be able to see the person stood next to him.
Mitsuya raised his chin quietly, and his eyes drifted to the upper right. Hakkai stood on his right side with his hands behind his back, his side face was a tight poke-face, and the eyelids drooped to cover his eyes.
Mitsuya couldn’t see through his eyes, nor could he understand what Hakkai was thinking at this moment.
When they had met early, Hakkai just nodded to him, and said nothing. It’s abnormally. Such behavior reminded Mitsuya that Hakkai was also indifferent when he facing the girls.
Mitsuya thought that after facing each other, everything would return to original. He never thought there would be such a day, maybe Draken was right – he was too cold, and Hakkai was tired of it.
The meeting dismissed after Mikey tore a pack of dorayaki. Mitsuya noticed that the button on uniform jacket of Hakkai was a little loose, but Hakkai turned sideways and walked in a hurry. A pink note floated out of his pocket and fell to the ground.
“Hakkai.” Mitsuya bent down and picked up the note, “I think you dropped something.”
Hakkai stopped.
Mitsuya didn’t mean to spy on his privacy, but curiosity drove him to glance quickly at the pink note in his hand. A phone number and e-mail address were written on it, and pretty handwriting evidently written by a girl.
– Which girl is it? Is it the one who gave him cookies, or the one who made him bento? Or, there are other girls?
Mitsuya felt his heart was heavy, like a big rock was pressing on his chest, so stuffy that he couldn’t breathe.
He made a smile, pressed his elbow on Hakkai’s ribs, and joked, “Girl’s phone number? Unexpected.”
Hakkai froze, and seemed a little flustered for a moment, but quickly returned to his expressionless face, explaining to Mitsuya in a flat tone. “It was put in the bento bag. I just took it and stuffed it in my pocket.”
Mitsuya’s face gradually dimmed, and the line of his mouth squeezed into a short straight line.
“I can’t tell that she is your type.”
9
Hakkai was upset, he skipped class and tried to sleep on the rooftop, but as soon as he closed his eyes, the cold expression that was rarely seen on Mitsuya’s face appeared in his mind.
Hakkai didn’t try to defend himself about the ridicule from Mitsuya at that time, but he was very troubled as long as he thought of these girls that appeared frequently around him recently.
After getting home yesterday, he sought the assistance for Yuzuha as usual. Yuzuha was sticking rhinestones on her nails and she didn’t lend a helping hand this time.
She sighed resignedly, “You should figure out by yourself. You can’t let me drive away those girls every time, right?”
Hakkai opened his eyes and stared at the blue sky in a daze. He dragged his steps back to the classroom until he heard the bell ringing during the lunch break.
He saw from a distance someone sitting his seat without his permission. He recognized her this time – it was the girl in the same class again.
Holding his uniform jacket in her hand, she moved a bit coy, as if she had been waiting for him to come back.
The girl raised her face and looked at him with a smile, flushing on her cheeks.
“The buttons on your jacket are a bit loose, I helped you strengthen it... Would you mind?"
10
When Mitsuya added salt into the miso soup, his waist suddenly hit from behind.
The collision made him sprinkle more salt. He turned around and wanted to rebuke his sister, but Mana pulled his clothes, flushed with a small face, and shouted excitedly, “Onii-chan! Hakkai-nii-chan!”
Mitsuya felt his heart skip a beat, he looked at Luna who was behind Mana, “What is going on?”
Luna pulled Mana away from the edge of the stream, hesitated for a while, and then replied, “We met Hakkai-nii-san today.”
Mitsuya discovered the new hair accessories on their ponytails, it wrapped on the plain hair tie he tied for them this morning. The hair accessories were made into translucent candy, and the color was pink and lovely.
Mitsuya kept silent, didn’t tell her not to ask Hakkai for gifts like previous time.
Luna observe the facial expression of Mitsuya, and asked carefully, “Did you quarrel with Hakkai-nii-san?”
“I didn’t.”
Mitsuya turned around and picked up the spoon to try the taste of miso soup.
– It’s too salty.
11
Before the assembly, Mitsuya stuffed the sewing bag in his pocket.
This was not a quarrel. He didn’t have any dispute with Hakkai, but the atmosphere of getting along became strange. Maybe just tried to get along as usual and everything would return to normal.
Mitsuya wants to show kindness first, as the one who actively breaks the ice. He wanted to help Hakkai sewing the buttons of his uniform jacket – but only one day later, somebody had done it earlier.
The buttons of his uniform jacket had been re-sewn, looking delicate and neat. And Mitsuya knew that Yuzuha was not good at these at all. She even consulted with Mitsuya about the basic techniques of woolen knitting on Christmas Eve last year. But in the end, she impatiently gave up the idea of knitting a scarf for Hakkai as a gift.
– So who sewed the buttons for him? How could he let others take his jacket? Was it the girl who put the note written phone number in the bento last time?
Mitsuya put his hand in his pocket, and repeatedly rubbed the zipper of the sewing kit with his fingers. Pretending to be relaxed, he smiled and asked, “Did you sew the buttons yourself? When did you learn it?”
“Ah?” Hakkai blinked, then lowered his head and glanced at his uniform jacket.
“My classmates helped me out without my permission.” He looked a little confused, grabbed one of the stitched buttons and played with it, and then whispered, “It felt weird.”
Mitsuya regretted it. He couldn’t help him sew buttons, nor should he try to mend their relationship. Maybe after those thing happened recently, they really couldn’t get along as before. What he was doing now would only drag himself into an embarrassing situation.
“Not bad.” Mitsuya laughed, reached out and patted Hakkai’s arm.
“What a surprise that you are not good at girls but they are attentive to your needs. It’s great that you don’t need my help anymore. ”
“Taka-chan...”
Mitsuya saw Hakkai’s eyes revealing a stun and injury, but the words had already been spoken. The sourness that had been hidden in his heart was fermenting out of control after the guess was confirmed.
His chest felt tight and aching, but he still held up the unnatural smile at the corner of his mouth.
“That’s all. I need to go.”
12
After listening to his statement, Draken laughed out loud unceremoniously. This kind of reaction was expected by Mitsuya, because Draken had persuaded him before, but Mitsuya didn’t care about it at that time.
Draken twisted the bottle cap of water. “If you let him go, he didn’t need you anymore. Can you accept it?”
“Hakkai doesn’t belong to me.” Mitsuya squeezed the aluminum coke can in his hand and made a piercing sound. “This is his right.”
Draken glanced at him meaningfully, grunting in his throat, “Yeah, yeah, you’re right.”
Mitsuya took a deep breath. When he was trying to explain, the breath suddenly appeared behind him startled him. Mikey had a taiyaki tail in his mouth, staring at him with wide eyes like a cat. Then he hung on Mitsuya’s back unceremoniously and said something vaguely.
“What did you say?”
Draken translated, “Mikey said you were dishonest.”
Mikey ate the taiyaki tail into his mouth quickly. He puffed his cheeks, squinted his eyes and smiled, “Hakkai likes Mitsuya the most. It will never change.”
Draken held Mikey’s back collar and lifted him easily. “It’s too dirty. Wipe your mouth.”
“Ken-chin is so nagging.” Mikey wiped his mouth with his cuff casually, which caused Draken to utter a dissatisfaction.
Listening to their bickering, Mitsuya threw the coke can into the trash can.
Was it possible that the connections and emotions between two people will never change? Mitsuya recalled the jealousy and suspicion in his tone in the conversation earlier, this unfamiliar emotion embarrassed him. But if he told Hakkai what he and Draken talked about, maybe it only took a few sentences to clarify everything.
13
Until the end of the assembly, the courage that Mitsuya summoned was not enough to make him call for Hakkai. They really needed to sit down and talk, but Mitsuya still watched Hakkai leave without saying a word.
He talked some things about the school with Pen-yah, but he was left behind by unexpected people before leaving.
“Mitsuya-kun!”
Mitsuya turned around and looked at Takemichi who stopped him unexpectedly. Takemichi pulled Chifuyu who was with a reluctant face, and smiled at Mitsuya embarrassingly.
Takemichi seemed to be hesitant to talk. Under the silent gaze of Mitsuya, he asked shilly-shally, "Hakkai...had he done something wrong?"
Chifuyu added, “That guy has been extremely depressed these days.”
“The situation seems to be terrible,” Takemichi scratched the back of his head, “Is there anything we can help?”
Mitsuya looked at the obvious worry on their faces, and just asked, “Where did he go?”
“He just said he wants to go home directly.”
14
Mitsuya looked around on the familiar road. He had turned back and forth, but still didn’t find Hakkai.
Mitsuya panted slightly and took out his cellphone – had Hakkai already returned home? His thumb stroked the phone keyboard back and forth, but he never pressed the dial button.
His courage might have been exhausted. Mitsuya was afraid that if he continued to move forward, he would only get the same answer –Hakkai no longer needs him. He would have more important people who could help him with daily chores, and could amiably please him and accompany him. Rather than being like him, sometimes acted indifferent, unable to respond to his eager expectations.
Mitsuya stopped by the road and two female students trotted out from the side alley. They looked terrified, clutching each other tightly, and quickly walked past Mitsuya, whispering whether they needed to call the police. Mitsuya felt disturbed, so he put away his phone and walked towards the alley.
As he approached the entrance of the alley, Mitsuya heard a faint wailing sound, as well as the dull sound of clenched fists hitting the flesh, which he was familiar with.
Suddenly, Mitsuya felt an irrational fear, his thoughts were confused, and he speeded up his pace and turned into the alley.
He saw Hakkai’s back from a distance – tall and straight, arrogant and unyielding, indifferent and lonely. Hakkai was raising his fist and beating the person who was suppressed under his body.
Mitsuya still remembered that when they first met, although Hakkai had a more mature body than his peers, there were too many scars and loneliness in his body and mind. He looked at Mitsuya with confusion and anxiety in his eyes, but also had the curiosity that a child of his age should have.
At that time, Hakkai followed Mitsuya home in a trance. Mitsuya remembered that he held Mana in his arm and Luna in the other hand, turning back from time to time to look back at Hakkai, who was two meters away behind him.
The strange boy was like a little wolf who didn’t know he was injured. Later, when he sat on the tatami and cried quietly while holding a bowl, drinking miso soup, Mitsuya felt that he was more like a pity puppy.
He took away the empty bowl from Hakkai’s hand, put a tissue into his hand.
“Would you like another bowl of rice?”
Mitsuya never regretted being nosy in the park at that time and stopped Hakkai hitting another. No matter how many times he did it, he would stop him again – Mitsuya took a step forward, and when Hakkai raised his fist again, he clenched his wrist tightly from behind.
Kneeling on the ground, Hakkai turned his head blankly.
Mitsuya relaxed the strength in his hand and said softly, “It’s time to stop.”
The cloudy in Hakkai’s eyes gradually regained clarity. After he confirmed that it was Mitsuya, he showed a flustered and aggrieved expression that seemed to be abandoned.
“Taka-chan...”
“Get up, we need to talk.”
Mitsuya held Hakkai’s hand and wanted to pull him up to stand straight, but unexpectedly, after Hakkai got up, he jumped forward and hugged him.
The strength of the hug made Mitsuya stagger back a few steps. Just when Mitsuya thought that they were going to fall to the ground in an embarrassing posture, Hakkai’s broad palm steadily dragged his back.
Hakkai’s face was buried into Mitsuya’s neck, and his short, thorny hair gently rubbed the thin skin. Mitsuya couldn’t help shrinking his neck. When he tried to stretch out his hand to push Hakkai away, he heard Hakkai say glumly, “I’m sorry.”
The sudden apology made Mitsuya stunned. He was held tightly in Hakkai’s arms, his hands hung in the air at a loss.
“I caused a lot of troubles for you, right?”
The voice was full of deep crying, although Hakkai tried hard to endure the choking, but he couldn’t conceal his bitterness.
His breath sprinkled quickly on Mitsuya’s skin due to his agitated emotions. It was a bit itchy, but Mitsuya didn’t struggle.
Mitsuya smelled the faint smell of smoke on his uniform jacket – Hakkai might skip class and went to the game center. Mitsuya knew that Hakkai didn’t like that kind of place, it was too noisy and messy, but he always went there to vent when he was in a bad mood.
Mitsuya patted Hakkai’s back and put his hand down. Hakkai’s body froze in an instant. He hurriedly let go of Mitsuya, and when he backed away, Mitsuya reached out and grabbed Hakkai’s elbow and pulled him over.
“Taka-chan?”
Mitsuya tugged at his wrist, and Hakkai bends down proactively, looking straight with him.
How long hadn’t he looked at Hakkai’s face like this? Hakkai’s eye were extremely red, and a shallow bruise appeared at the corner of his eye. His nervous expression revealed fear and cringe, but there still had fervor that never disappeared in his eyes.
At this moment, Mitsuya realized with hindsight that such a special emotional connection between them was an indispensable existence in his life.
Mitsuya leaned his forehead against Hakkai’s. After clarifying his mind, he feels relaxed. But his heart hit his chest uncontrollably, once and again, heavy and loud. The emotion he had always been ashamed to admit was exposed by himself at this time – but fortunately, Hakkai didn’t seem to be aware of it.
The foreheads of them reached each other until sweat oozed from the palms of their hands, and Mitsuya said gently,
“You’re so stupid. The problem is that you don’t tell me when you are in trouble.”
15
When Hakkai received the text message from Mitsuya, he left his seat and ran out of the classroom, ignoring the furious roar from his teacher.
Go outside now.
The content of the text was short, with only three words, which was Mitsuya’s consistent style.
After that day, everything returned to its original condition. Even if Hakkai was a little bit dull, he understood that something seemed to be changing subtly – they spent more time together after school, and their physical touch was more intimate than before. And the most obvious thing was probably that those girls no longer bother him.
Hakkai rushed to the school gate at the fastest speed, and he heard the sound of the engine spurring the motorcycle outside the school gate.
He turned the corner and saw Mitsuya sitting lazily on his motorcycle.
Mitsuya tilted his head and slightly shook the bento bag in his hand.
He opened his mouth and slowly said,
“Ba–ka–”
Fin.