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A Song in the Silence

Summary:

Jon had heard stories about sirens all his life, living in a port town they were impossible to avoid. When he started sailing at the age of twenty he learned their songs didn’t affect him, but it wasn’t until almost a decade later that he found out why.

Notes:

Cw: mentions of drowning, mentions of sirens eating people, minor internalized aphobia.

I started this for the Archival Pride event but only finished it now! Thanks to Dathen for helping me work out some details and the ending!

Unbeta’d so forgive any grammatical errors I might have made.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

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Sirens. Jon had heard stories about them all his life, although he’d never heard the same story twice. Sometimes they were beautiful women from the waist up, but with fish tails instead of legs, others they had the faces of women but the bodies of birds. In every tale they sang, although he’d heard different versions on that topic as well. The sirens either sang so horribly men threw themselves overboard to stop listening or were so enchanting sailors jumped in the water to seek out the singer. Either way people died, and the sirens were to blame. 

It wasn’t until he was twenty that he first encountered the creatures, he’d never sailed before but after his grandmother had passed away he’d needed money, fast. Working on a ship was dangerous work but it paid well, and if he was being honest with himself Jon wanted some change in his life. He wanted to see more of the world than the small town he’d grown up in. There was so much he’d never done, and he was tired of waiting for something interesting to happen to him. He’d seen so many people die before that happened.

So he found himself on the deck of an old ship, the Aurelia, leaning against the railing as he watched experienced sailors run back and forth with crates of supplies, climbing the rigging like they’d been born for it. He didn’t know how they kept their balance as the boat pitched back and forth, especially considering how many of them had nothing to hold onto but coarse rope. So many of the men were barefoot, as though the thought of stepping on splinters or nails hadn’t even occurred to them, or maybe they just didn’t care. 

 The sea air was cold on Jon's face, smelling of brine and other things he didn’t know the names of. He’d never seen the ocean before, he hadn’t known what to expect, the closest thing he’d experienced was a small lake a few miles away from his home. This endless expanse of water, stretching far beyond the horizon, made that lake look like a puddle in comparison.

The voyage itself wasn’t supposed to be too difficult, a simple trip to a nearby harbor town ranging from a few weeks to a month in length. The first mate had sensed Jon’s unease as they set off and pulled him aside as the ship’s sail propelled them forward. “First time?”

“W-what?” Jon had spluttered, feeling his cheeks grow warm.

With a smirk and a shake of his head the man continued. “You don’t have your sea legs yet, I expect you’ve never left land before.”

“Oh,” feeling relieved, Jon allowed himself to relax somewhat. “Yes, this is my first time sailing.”

“Well there’s lots here to keep you busy, I expect you’ll get used to things soon enough. The weather looks to be nice and the route we’re taking shouldn’t bring us past any beasties. All together this should be a pretty uneventful trip.” The first mate clapped Jon on the back before setting off to oversee the rest of the crew. Still, the words “if we’re lucky” seemed to hang in the air between them, unspoken but on both their minds.

It turned out Jon wasn’t much good at the physical tasks like running the rigging or furling the sails, to no one’s surprise. He could manage to keep up with the others when cleaning and knew how to cook with the meager supplies onboard, but those tasks didn’t really call out to him. He managed to pick up the basics of navigation after observing others for a week, all the time he’d spent so much time memorizing the constellations as a child came in useful. He was able to figure out roughly where the ship was by what stars were visible in the sky, which, unfortunately, a good number of the other sailors already knew how to do.

Halfway through the voyage he’d learned what most of the ship’s parts were called, and understood how they were supposed to work even if he didn’t know how to operate them. He no longer felt seasick, even if the sea grew rougher, and he’d started to develop a good set of calluses on his hands and even his feet. Still, it wasn’t like Jon had actually figured out what job worked best for him, he just kept trying different tasks in the hopes that he’d find something that fit. He’d been in the middle of repairing a hole in one of the spare sails when he heard the music. 

At first Jon had thought one of the other sailors was whistling, something he’d found strange at first but had grown accustomed to, but listening more closely he realized it was not coming from the ship. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw one of the deck hands stop moving, their posture slackening as they dropped the rope they’d been holding. A second crewmate did the same too, freezing and going limp where they stood, then a third. Something was wrong, and as the sound grew louder Jon realized just what it must be. 

Glancing out into the churning sea he spotted a rocky outcropping nearby and several forms lying atop them, human at first glance. “Sirens!” Jon clapped his hands over his ears and leapt to his feet, frantically looking around for something he could use to block out the sound. A lump of beeswax lay on the deck, which he’d been using when sewing, and he only hesitated for a second before pulling off two chunks and shoving them in his ears. He ran over to the closest sailor, who had already started to make his way towards the ship’s railing, and hurriedly plugged the man’s ears with wax as well. It took a few seconds for the sailor’s eyes to clear, but thankfully it did work.

Gesturing to the outcropping Jon mouthed “sirens” to the sailor, who nodded and broke the beeswax into two pieces before dashing off to stop someone from jumping overboard. Between the two of them they managed to save most of the crew, but there were some who they couldn’t reach in time. Once everyone had their ears plugged the whole ship began to work to leave the rocks behind them, along with the siren’s song. Nobody dared to remove the wax until several hours had passed, and nothing could be seen amongst the waves. 

“How did you realize what was happening?” Jon had been in the middle of bandaging his arm where another sailor had bitten him when still entranced when the first mate came up to him. 

“I’m sorry?” 

“This is your first voyage, your first time at sea, yet you were able to pick up it was sirens we were dealing with, without losing your senses. Everyone else fell victim to their song, but not you.”

“I’ve heard the tales all my life, despite not growing up near the ocean. I know what sirens are, what they can do, but I don’t know why their singing didn’t affect me.” Tugging the bandage taught with his teeth Jon glanced out into the churning waves. “I just heard a strange noise and noticed everyone had stopped moving.”

“What did it sound like to you?”

Slightly taken aback it took Jon several seconds to compose an answer. “I could tell it was supposed to be music of a sort, but it sounded off somehow. Like an instrument out of tune.”

“Interesting,” The first mate sat down beside Jon, looking him over curiously. “What I heard was the most beautiful thing I’d ever heard, a song promising me my wildest dreams would come true if I found just who was singing.” 

Jon wasn’t sure how to respond to that, was it a bad thing that he’d heard something different from the others? He got to his feet, intending to return to the lower decks to return the medical supplies he’d been using, but he stopped when the first mate continued talking. “Could you be immune to sirens?”

The next year was spent testing this theory in various ways, at first they tied Jon to the mast of the ship with his ears uncovered whenever they sailed through siren-infested waters, but after enough time went by with no ill effects he was allowed to roam freely. The captain praised him, as far as anyone knew there had never been a person who could resist a siren’s song. His pay increased, just so they could keep him around, but eventually other ships heard about him and began to request he work for them.

It was strange, Jon had never seen himself as useful, he’d never excelled at anything in particular or felt a calling towards any particular field. Now whenever he went ashore there were always a few people who recognized him. His crewmates always tried to get him to join them when they went drinking after a voyage ended, but he found taverns too rowdy after being at sea for so long. Plus there were always the drunkards who tried to pressure him into spending the night with them, which always made him feel awkward. He didn’t care much for drinking, or pleasure houses, or many other things men his age found tempting. On land Jon drifted towards bookstores, museums, quiet places where he could be alone with his thoughts.

For his twenty-eighth birthday Jon decided to buy himself something nice with the bonus he’d been given on the last trip. A brass compass had sat on display in one of the shop windows, which by itself didn’t seem like anything special, but it was the small sundial affixed to the compass that caught Jon’s eye. It was beautiful, gleaming in the last rays of the setting sun and nestled in a wooden box lined with velvet. Sure, he didn’t technically need it, but he was certain he could find some use for it.

Returning to the docks he spotted the Aurelia, which had only grown more battered in the years Jon had served on it. Climbing aboard he examined the railing, which had been mended several times but should have been replaced altogether. The captain smiled at him as he made his way below decks so he could claim a hammock before they were all gone, just because he’d earned a place here didn’t mean that someone would save him a sleeping spot.

The voyage began like so many others, and after spending so many years sailing Jon found it took hardly any time at all to regain his sea legs. He could pick out the new sailors, those who stumbled as the ship pitched back and forth, or whose faces were pale and whose eyes kept darting towards the railing. Nothing eventful happened for the first few days, but as soon as the navigator let everyone know they were headed into siren-infested waters the crew began plugging their ears with wax. Jon had sat down on a coil of rope and watched the sun start to set, staining the sky red, yellow, and pink. He felt himself start to drift off to sleep when he heard the singing.

It was the most beautiful thing he’d ever heard, and although he couldn’t make out any words Jon could still understand what the song was about. Loneliness. The singer was lonely, feeling like an outcast among their own kind and desperate for anyone to talk to that might understand them. Rising to his feet Jon made his way to the bow of the ship, trying to figure out just who it was that was singing. It couldn’t be a siren, he’d never been affected by them before, was there an island nearby? A simple glance showed nothing but waves reflecting the setting sun, maybe one of the new sailors had a nice voice?

None of the crew seemed to notice what Jon was doing, they were all preoccupied in their own work, so nobody saw when the railing he leaned against broke and he fell into the sea.


Nobody had ever warned him about just how cold the water would be. He felt as though an icy hand were squeezing his lungs, he couldn’t catch his breath no matter how hard he tried. He’d already started to lose feeling in his fingers and toes, although his limbs already felt too heavy to move. It was all he could do to stay above the surface and avoid accidentally swallowing any of the saltwater. Jon had no idea where the Aurelia had gone, or just how long he’d been out here, being buffeted around by the waves as he struggled to remain upright. 

The singing had stopped, or he’d just stopped being able to hear it. His own heartbeat and labored breathing were the only sounds he made out besides the roaring of the sea. Gradually his movements slowed, and it became harder to keep his head from dipping below the water. He was so tired, he’d already worked a hard day prior to falling overboard, and whatever adrenaline he’d had was now spent. His whole body was numb. Nobody was coming for him. Jon closed his eyes and went limp, hoping he might float a little bit before the waves claimed him.

He wasn’t aware of when he’d fallen unconscious, just that when he started to come around he was no longer quite as cold. His clothes were still wet, but beneath him he felt something hard and slimy, jagged points digging into him. The wind seemed to howl around him, but at times he thought he could hear a voice as well. Something touched his cheek, and Jon swore it was a hand, tilting his face from side to side and brushing his hair back from his forehead. Their touch was gentle enough, but he was too tired to move, to even open his eyes and see just who it was that had saved him. Someone had saved him, hadn’t they? Otherwise he’d still be in the water, or worse. 

When he felt a slight pressure on his forehead, however, his eyes opened reflexively. He looked up to see another face staring down at him, partially in shadow because the moon was behind them, far too close for comfort. He tried to inch away from them but the moment he tried to move his limbs cried out in protest. His savior did seem to notice his discomfort and thankfully stopped hovering over him. 

“I asked if you’re alright- well, obviously you aren’t alright, you nearly drowned- but I guess I’m asking if you’re hurt anywhere in particular, like if you hit your head falling off the ship or-” Jon stopped listening as his savior continued to babble, choosing instead to get a closer look at them. Now that they were out of the shadows more he could see that they weren’t wearing a shirt. They were bigger than Jon was, their bare torso dotted with so many freckles they blended together in places. They had a round face framed by reddish-brown curls, and eyes the blue of the sea surrounding them. That wasn’t what got Jon’s attention though.

Whoever had saved him didn’t have legs, from the waist down there was a fishtail covered in blue-green scales, which glistened in the light of the setting sun. Jon felt as though he were going to pass out again, there was only one creature he knew about that had a tail. It didn’t seem possible though.

“You’re a siren…” The words came out barely a whisper, his throat ragged from taking in so much saltwater. Adrenaline flooded his veins again, and he scrambled backwards, not even looking to see if there was land behind him. His palms scraped and slid against the rough rock he’d been lying on but he didn’t care, he had to get away from this monster before it killed him.

The siren narrowed its eyes and gritted its teeth- teeth that were sharper than a human’s should be. It dove into the water only to resurface next to Jon seconds later, looking annoyed. “Will you stop that? You’re going to hurt yourself!”

“Why do you care? Will I not taste as good if I’m bruised?” 

“What? No! I’m not going to eat you!” To Jon’s surprise the siren actually looked offended at that.

“You’re a siren,” Jon repeated for some reason. “Sirens kill and eat humans after-” he paused, remembering what happened before he fell overboard. “Was that you singing?”

“Wait, you heard me?” The siren looked embarrassed. “I didn’t think anyone would hear me, ships don’t usually pass through here.”

“But sirens don’t affect me,” Jon gasped, still trying to back away but running out of rock. “I’ve always been immune to their songs.”

The siren laughed at this, and it was Jon’s turn to blush, his cheeks uncomfortably warm. “Nobody is ‘immune’ to sirens. When humans hear our songs they have to actually desire what the siren is singing about, we just have a way of getting people to lose their inhibitions.”

“So… what?” Jon wasn’t sure if it was from adrenaline, almost drowning, or this siren just wasn’t making sense. He couldn’t understand what they were saying. “I’ve never been affected by their songs though.”

“So you’ve said.” With a sigh the siren hauled itself up onto the rock next to Jon. “Do stop running away, you’ll only fall back in the water and I’ll have to save you again.”

“Or you’ll just kill me.”

“Do you want me to kill you?” The siren groaned, throwing its arms in the air in exasperation. “I’m pretty sure that if I wanted to kill you I would have done so already.”

“Then what do you want from me? Why save me at all?” It was a fair question. 

“Because you’re a living person, do I need another reason?” 

“Forgive me if I don’t quite believe a creature that is notorious for killing my kind.” The words came out harsher than Jon had meant it to but he didn’t feel as though it was out of place.

“Humans have killed plenty of sirens too, I’ll have you know. This isn’t one-sided, and us bickering here isn’t going to fix things.” The siren sighed again, running a hand through its curly hair. “There’s a coast not far from here, maybe a few hours swim, and there’s a human settlement there.”

“A few hours? I can’t swim that long!” The thought of land- actual land instead of the rock he was now trapped upon- was appealing to Jon, but he doubted he could make it more than a few paces before his strength gave out. 

“I can probably find some kind of wood for you to use as a raft, if you can hold out for a bit.”

“It’s not like I have anywhere else to go.” Jon muttered, although a part of him wondered just where this siren would get wood in the middle of the sea. From a shipwreck maybe? 

“Right then,” the siren dove back into the water, splashing Jon in the process. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

Once they were gone Jon buried his head in his hands and sighed deeply. What had he gotten himself into? Saved by a siren of all things, the very same siren whose song had gotten him into this mess in the first place. It was too much to process after almost drowning. 

The air was cold, especially now that the sun had fully set, and Jon soon found himself shivering in his wet clothing. How long would it take the siren to return? Would Jon even survive the trip back to shore or would he freeze first? Then, even if he did make it back to land what would he do? Almost his belongings were back on the Aurelia, including his money, the only thing he had on him was- he pulled out the brass compass he’d bought the previous day and laughed. Had it only been yesterday? 

The compass did give him an idea for something to do while he waited. Turning his attention upwards Jon connected the stars into their constellations, using their location in the night sky to get a general idea of where he was, how far he’d strayed from the ship’s course. The sea must have carried him quite a distance, or maybe the siren had done that. If he was right about his location then there was a small port town close by, Jon might be able to find work if he managed to get there alive.

Get to land, survive this night. He had goals now, small ones for now, but if he could accomplish them then he could move on to bigger ones. Jon wanted, no he needed to find out why he’d been affected by this siren’s song when he’d been immune for so long. There had to be something that made him different from the others, if the creature hadn’t been lying then all humans could be affected by sirens, it just came down to the song as well as desires. 

Thinking back to the song he’d heard, Jon realized that he couldn’t remember hearing any words. Was it a foreign language that sirens used, or were their songs something more complex? Even without lyrics he’d understood the meaning, the loneliness hanging off every note. The singer- this siren who’d saved him, had sung about wanting someone to talk to. It was a feeling Jon could relate to.

There was a splash and he turned to see the siren’s head break the surface of the water. It was pulling what must have once been part of a mast, some piece of a shipwreck left floating on the sea.

“You actually came back.” Jon found himself saying, something he hadn’t even realized he’d been worried about. The siren could have been lying to him, getting his hopes up only to dash them against the rocks. 

“Oh, sorry,” the siren blinked, it’s blue eyes wide and confused. “It took a bit longer than I expected to find something big enough to use as a raft of sorts. Didn’t really think it though that this far from shore there might not be much wood around.”

Shaking his head, Jon struggled to find the words for how he was feeling. After a moment he decided to just change the subject. “It might support my weight, but I’m not sure I can hold on until we reach land.” While he was fairly strong after working on ships for the better part of a decade Jon was already exhausted from nearly drowning, not to mention the pins and needles in most of his limbs.

“Oh right.” The siren frowned, as though trying to think of what else to do. 

“I don’t think we have any other options though, there’s no way of knowing if another ship will pass by any time soon.” Jon sighed, wishing there were some other choices available to him. 

“I could sing to you, y’know...” The siren flushed, not meeting Jon’s gaze. “To keep your strength up. I promise I won’t do anything weird, but I do know some songs about perseverance and stuff. I’ve also heard plenty of songs from sailors, if you’d prefer something in your own language.”

“What kind of songs?” Having spent a decent amount of time on the sea Jon had heard plenty of songs, including ones that were about things he’d rather not discuss with a stranger. The wind picked up, sending a shiver down his spine and making him remember what his priorities should be. “Nevermind, we can find out later.” He slid carefully off the rock and into the water, noting with surprise that it seemed much warmer in the sea than out of it. He grabbed onto the mast and pulled as much of his upper body onto it as he could, trying to find a position he could maintain for hours. 

“Do you need some help?” The siren watched Jon with a concerned expression on their face. 

Grunting, Jon shook his head. “Not right now, but I will need you to push me.” He was able to kick his legs and propel himself forward, but the most important thing was being able to stay on the mast. If he fell off he probably wouldn’t be able to climb back on. He needed to save as much of his strength as he could. 

“Right, I can do that.” The siren looked at Jon, clinging to this chunk of wood, and frowned. “Hold on tight, alright?” Before Jon had the chance to reply it had grabbed the base of the mast and began swimming forward at a surprisingly fast speed. Sea spray coated his face and drenched whatever part of his hair had managed to dry while out of the water. 

Jon felt himself start to slip. “Wait!” The siren stopped, seemingly confused by his outburst, but he used the time to climb back up. “Maybe... Maybe not that fast?”

“Oh!” The siren looked embarrassed, it wasn’t blushing- Jon wasn’t even sure if it could blush, but it definitely seemed flustered. “Right, I wasn’t thinking.” It began to swim again, pushing the mast forward, but at a much more reasonable speed. Jon no longer worried about falling into the ocean again. They were quiet for a while, the only sound was the crashing of waves and the occasional bird, but finally Jon dared to break the silence.

“So, you were the one I heard singing, right?” The siren’s movements became clumsy for a second, and it almost lost its grip on the mast. 

“What? I mean, I was singing, yeah. I didn’t think any ships would pass through these parts.”

“Do you mind if I ask what you were singing about?” Jon couldn’t lie that he’d been curious about sirens, how their songs worked and why they didn’t seem to affect him. Now seemed as good a time as any to get some answers.

“Oh...” Once again Jon got the feeling that if sirens were capable of blushing that this one would have done so. It refused to meet his eyes, instead choosing to focus on the horizon, and nibbled at its lower lip with those surprisingly sharp teeth. “It’s kind of stupid.”

With a sigh, Jon decided to just go with his gut. “You’re lonely, aren’t you?” The siren glanced at him with wide eyes. “That’s what your song sounded like to me. The lonely song of someone who doesn’t feel like they fit in, someone who wants a friend.”

“Y-yeah. That was what I was singing about.” They stopped moving, and Jon was left floating in the middle of the open sea. “The thing I don’t get is, why were you affected by my song? The only way you could have actually heard it is if you...”

“Yes?”

“The only way you could have heard my song is if you’re feeling the same way.” With a shove that made Jon almost fall off the mast, the siren started to swim again. “I already told you, our songs basically persuade people to do things they already want to do. Most sirens sing about stuff that sailors are interested in, because it’s an easy way to get food, but I don’t really like that. Both in the sense of eating humans is wrong, but also because their songs are just... I don’t like them, okay?”

“What do they sing about?” Jon was invested now, desperate to learn as much as he could about the creature before him. Part of it was because he found sirens fascinating, but there was a part of himself that just wanted to know more about the one who’d saved him. Jon didn’t even know their name. The siren was silent for a while, as though they couldn’t find the right words. Finally they sighed, and muttered something so quiet Jon couldn’t hear them. “What? I didn’t catch that, sorry.”

“Sex, alright?” The siren’s head disappeared underwater for several seconds, as though it were trying to hide. “They sing about sex, because thats what most sailors want. I’m not- I don’t-” It sighed, clearly embarrassed. “I’ve never been interested in that kind of stuff.”

“Oh...” Jon could relate. Whenever they made port the other sailors would try to convince him to go to pleasure houses with them, or to taverns or other places that he just found unappealing. Sex had never truly interested him, and he didn’t know why that was. “I know how you feel.”

The siren looked shocked at this, then it started to laugh. “What’s so funny?” Jon demanded, feeling suddenly self-conscious.

“I just figured out the reason behind your ‘immunity to sirens,” it chuckled, and with the moonlight illuminating its face and making its eyes shine Jon felt his heart skip a beat. “You’re not immune, you just have never wanted what most sirens sing about, and so their songs didn’t affect you.”

“Wait, because I don’t like sex they-”

“Yeah, it’s silly when you think about it. Sirens are so used to singing about sex because it works on so many sailors, but if someone’s not into that kind of stuff...”

“Their songs sound wrong, and nothing happens.” Jon felt his cheeks heat up. He’d wanted to know why sirens hadn’t affected him for so long, but to find out it was because he wasn’t interested in sex? For some reason he couldn’t help but feel disappointed.

“I mean, it’s not a bad thing. It probably saved a lot of people’s lives, if you could warn them in time.” The siren offered up a shy smile, and despite how sharp it’s teeth were Jon only felt more flustered. “On the bright side, we’re making good time. I think I can see land.”

The siren was right, Jon could see the faintest spot on the horizon, darker than the rest of the sky. Had they really traveled so far already? 

Despite how cold he was, and how tired he was, the thought of returning to land was somehow unappealing. Sure, it was nice to have work, and he knew the captain of the Aurelia would always welcome him in the crew, but it had never felt quite right. He loved to sail, he got to visit a great many places and learn about them, got to see sights he never would have otherwise, and yet…

“Is it nice? Being a siren, I mean?” 

“What?” The siren spluttered, looking confused.

“Sorry, it’s just… I feel like a different person, like the Jon who will wash ashore is different from the Jon who left port.” Jon chuckled softly, wondering if it was the exhaustion that had loosened his tongue.

“Oh! You’re not changing into a siren or anything, if you were worried about that.”

“No, I- can that happen?” The thought hadn’t even crossed Jon’s mind.

“Not that I know of, the most we can really do is let humans breathe underwater.” The siren was silent for a few seconds. “I did do something to let us understand each other, but that’s it.”

“Wait, what?” 

“I thought it was the right thing to do, so you wouldn’t think I was trying to kill you. That’s all I did, I swear.”

“No, no.” Jon tried to figure out the right words to say. “When I said I felt different, it’s more of a… mentality thing. I’ve never really felt like I belonged on land. I’m not exceptionally good at anything, and the only thing about me that made me worth keeping around was  that sirens didn’t affect me.” He didn’t bother to mention that he didn’t have any family or friends, nothing on land that would be waiting for him. 

“Until now, that is.” The siren’s brows were drawn. “What will you do when you reach land?”

“I’ll try to find work, I guess. Almost everything I owned was on the Aurelia- the ship, and I have no idea when I’ll see it again. Hopefully someone in town is hiring, and I can find a bed at a boarding house.”

“You don’t sound happy about that.”

“Life for a human isn’t very exciting. We need food to eat, clothes to wear, a place to sleep without too many leaks. Those things cost money, and the only way to get money is through work. Being a sailor paid well enough, but after this last voyage I might stick to dry land for a while.” Jon wondered what kind of job he could get, working at a tavern maybe? A bookstore would be nice, but those places rarely were hiring. “What about you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, what will you do next?”

The siren looked confused. “I… well, just live, I expect. Hunt for fish, try to find places boats don’t pass by to sing, my life’s not all that interesting.”

“Is that what all sirens do?” Jon wasn’t sure why he wanted to know, because he was curious about sirens in general, or just the one who’d saved him.

“Oh, no. Not really.” Smiling shyly, the siren met Jon’s gaze for only a second before glancing away. “I’m considered strange, for a siren. Like I said, most lure sailors off of ships with lewd songs and drown them. There are some who promise to show people their futures, or offer them fame and fortune- whatever that is. The end goal is always the same though, it’s their way of getting food.”

“Yet you saved me.”

“Yeah, because I don’t think it’s right, tricking humans like that. We don’t need to eat them, like I’m doing just fine with fish.” The siren absentmindedly scratched at its cheek. “That makes me the weird one, though, thinking we can coexist.”

“I guess that’s why I heard your song, then.” Jon mused, thinking back to how beautiful it had been.

“What?”

“You were asking why it affected me, right? Before we got on the subject of why most siren’s songs didn’t.”

“Oh, right.” The siren seemed to have forgotten all about their earlier discussion.

“We both feel like we don’t belong where we are, we’re lonely. Is that right?” Jon felt as though he were close to a breakthrough, although it had more to do with understanding himself than anything else.

“Yes, my song was about wanting a friend, someone who would understand me.” The siren seemed flustered again. “The thing is, you wouldn’t have heard it unless you thought you could fill that role. A question has to have an answer.”

Jon was silent for a minute, trying to piece out the meaning. “Do you have a question for me, then?”

“What?”

“If you’re the question, and I’m the answer, then what is the question?”

The siren stopped swimming so it could stare at Jon, eyes narrowed in confusion before it shrugged. “What’s your name?”

“Really? That’s what you want to know?” Jon couldn’t help but laugh. “It’s Jon, what’s yours?”

“I’m not sure you’d be able to pronounce it. While I gave you the ability to understand me, there are limits, such as words that don’t exist in your language.”

“Try me.”

The siren obliged, but it had been right. Jon couldn’t make out what it said, at least not more than a garbled string of syllables. M-something? Mar-something? That being said, Jon was not about to admit he’d been wrong. He still had some small bit of pride. Before he had a chance to say anything, however, a wave swept over them and he lost his grip on the mast.

He wasn’t sure how long he was tossed around, the force of the wave flipping him over and over until Jon could no longer tell up from down. His throat burned from swallowing saltwater before he’d managed to hold his breath, but his lungs were already starting to ache. He didn’t have the strength to try to swim towards the surface, even if he knew which direction to go, so he just floated in the unending sea. 

It was so quiet underwater, the crashing of waves and squawking of seagulls silenced by the endless water surrounding him. He no longer felt cold, his body having gone entirely numb without his notice. He didn’t feel anything anymore. Maybe this wasn’t a bad way to go after all? At least he wouldn’t be in pain when he died. 

Something wrapped around him dragging him downwards and what small sense of self-preservation Jon had left made him panic, he gasped and lost what little air he’d been holding onto. What was going on? He wanted to thrash, to escape whatever it was that held him, but he didn’t have the energy to move even a finger. When his head broke the surface he wasn’t sure what had happened. His head spun as he coughed, trying to get the water out of his lungs as well as just gasping as the cold night air stung on his cheeks.

“-on?” Was someone else there or was it just his mind playing tricks on him? “Jon!” The siren hovered above him again, its eyes wide with what seemed like fear. It had saved him again . “I’m so sorry! I didn’t notice the wave and- we’re almost to shore, just hold on- alright?” Jon managed a weak nod and let the siren continue what it had been doing, clutching him to its chest with one arm and swimming forward. 

Their progress was slower than it had been, but soon enough lights were visible in the distance. If he’d had the strength Jon might have laughed. He’d fallen off a ship nowhere close to land, and somehow he was still alive. Sure, he had nothing on him save for a waterlogged compass and who knew if he’d be able to find a place to stay tonight. Sure, he didn’t know what he was going to do going forward, but he hadn’t been lying when he’d told the siren he felt like a different person.

All his life Jon had been told stories about sirens, and how they were beautiful, terrifying monsters that ate humans. Now he’d been saved not once, but twice by one. Without it he would most certainly be dead. It was true that it was responsible for how he’d ended up in the sea to begin with, but if what it had said was true, he could have easily fallen under the spell of a much more malicious siren. 

Jon wanted to know more about these creatures, besides the stories traded at taverns and told to children. Clearly there was more to them than met the eye, but he had no idea where to start. Still, it was more of a goal than he’d had in a while. Maybe he could find work in a bookstore or as some kind of researcher.

“If I remember correctly, there’s a beach that’s somewhat hidden, so I can drop you off without being seen.” The siren’s breathing was a bit labored, as though the effort of carrying him was getting to be a strain. “Will you be able to make it if I leave you there? I don’t want to risk going to the busier places.” While he was still exhausted, Jon nodded once again, having regained a little strength. Hopefully someone would be nearby when he stumbled onto the shore, someone who wouldn’t ask too many questions.

“Will I see you again?” The beach grew larger, a secluded patch of sand nestled into the base of a cliff.

“Probably not.” At the siren’s words Jon couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness. He wasn’t entirely sure why that was, though, most would feel happy to be in his position, to be leaving the sea and the creatures within it. “Why?”

“Thought it might be nice to see a familiar face.” The sand was warm compared to the chill of the water, Jon thought as the siren gently laid him down on the beach. It shot him a look before sliding back into the sea, not even bothering to say goodbye.


When Jon made his way into one of the inns- half-carried by a fisherman who’d stumbled upon him in the early hours of the morning- one of the sailors recognized him. “Jon, right?” The man said, getting to his feet and staggering over to where he stood. After receiving a small nod the man laughed. “What happened to you? You look half-drowned. I thought you were immune to sirens!”

“I’m not immune to improperly repaired railings,” Jon muttered, wishing he could go sit by the fireplace and warm up. “I leaned up against one and it broke. I was able to swim to shore by using a broken mast as a raft.” Did that sound believable? 

To his surprise the other sailors seemed interested in his tale, buying him a bowl of stew and a mug of ale when Jon confessed he’d left most of his possessions on the Aurelia. He wasn’t quite sure what to tell them though, when the truth seemed so far-fetched. Jon mumbled some lie about not remembering what had happened, the cold of the water messing with his head and making everything blur together. It was a less than satisfying story to them, he could see it in their expressions that they’d been hoping for a tale where he’d bravely fought against multiple attackers in order to escape with his life. They’d have to learn to live with the disappointment, Jon refused to tell them what had actually happened.

“So, are you looking for a new crew to sail with?” The sailor who had recognized Jon clapped him on the shoulder, causing him to choke on the mouthful of stew.

“I don’t think so,” he replied, once he’d stopped coughing. “After what happened I think I might try to stay on land for a while. I feel as though I might never be warm and dry again.”

“Well, if you ever want to set sail again, there’s plenty of men who’ll have you.” Thankfully Jon’s answer didn’t seem to offend the sailor, and they soon left him alone to finish his meal. 

As he was sopping the remainder of his stew up with a hunk of bread, one of the barkeeps approached him, looking to clear away his dishes. They weren’t much for conversation, but Jon was able to get the name of a bunkhouse that might let him stay despite not having any money or work as well as a few shops that were hiring. That night he curled up under a threadbare blanket, his belly full and his body warm. He had survived.

The next few weeks were a blur. Between finding work and getting situated in this new town there was hardly a day that went by without Jon falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. The shop that had hired him sold sailing equipment; maps, compasses, spy glasses, anything that a sailor might need for a voyage. Jon had shown the owner the compass he’d bought before leaving port, and they’d been impressed by the workmanship, partially because it had been in the water for a good amount of time and still worked. 

On his days off- not that he had many- Jon would go to the library and look for books on sirens or other mythical creatures. He bought a leather-bound notebook when he finally had enough money that he could make frivolous purchases, and began writing down what the siren who’d saved him had said along with his other findings. It wasn’t something he could discuss with anyone else, he strongly doubted that there was another human who would be interested in the subject, but a part of him longed for someone to talk to about sirens. He would love for anyone to talk to that might believe him without judging him.

After a month had passed he was settling into his new life on land, when the Aurelia made port. Upon seeing him, his former crewmates gaped. They looked as though they’d seen a ghost, and Jon decided to walk away before any of them caused a scene. Later that night, the first mate found him in the bunkhouse, his face twisted in worry.

“You’re alive.” It didn’t necessarily sound like a question, but Jon had spent years sailing with the man and knew what he was like.

“Yes.” 

“How?” Sitting down on the cot next to Jon, the man’s brow only became more furrowed.

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” Out of all the people Jon had worked with he’d gotten along with the first mate best. They’d respected each other’s differences and knew where their strengths lay. If anyone would be able to tell if he was lying, it was this man. Still, that didn’t mean that he would accept what Jon told him.

“I’d rather know what happened to you. As far as the rest of the crew knows, you just vanished.”

“Has the captain gotten around to replacing the railings yet?” There was a note of bitterness to Jon’s voice, he hadn’t entirely forgotten what could have prevented him from falling overboard. 

The first mate shook his head. “We still have your things, if you want them.”

“I’m surprised you kept them.”

“Oh, there were definitely people who would have taken them had the captain not locked them in his quarters. I think he was one of the only people who believed you were alive.” He was silent for a second. “Was it sirens?”

After a moment’s hesitation Jon nodded, trying to figure out the right words to say. “I think I was saved by one.”

Jon explained, and he was grateful to not be interrupted. There were some details he omitted, like the truth behind why most sirens didn’t affect him, as well as how apparently sirens could give humans the ability to breathe underwater. It felt like he left out more details than he included, but the first mate seemed satisfied with his response. Upon returning to the Aurelia the captain returned his belongings- although Jon swore there was less in his coin purse than there had been- and reminded him that there would always be a place for him among the crew. It was strange, how this ship had been his home for so long but after only a month it felt unfamiliar to him. He’d changed while the Aurelia and its crew had stayed the same.

After he’d left Jon walked along the beach, feeling the squish of sand between his toes and breathing in the salty air. The sea was so different from the land, and yet when they met... Shaking his head Jon made his way to the secluded shore where the siren had left him, wanting to be alone with his thoughts. He’d thought that seeing his old crew again would help him feel less uneasy, but it had only made him more confused. He didn’t feel as though he fit in on land, but there was nothing in the sea for him, save death. 

There was a shape already sitting on the beach when he arrived, and in the moonlight it was hard to make out more than the silhouette. Still, Jon’s heart started to race upon seeing it, and he picked up the pace, hoping it wasn’t just a fisherman out for a nighttime stroll. As he drew closer he recognized the siren who had saved him, auburn curls framing a round face, its broad chest littered with freckles. It was half-submerged in the waves, as though trying to hide its tail, but since its eyes were closed Jon wondered what would have happened if any other human had been the one to find it.

The song the siren was singing was almost lost in the wind, so quiet Jon had to strain his ears to hear it. It sounded like it was about memories, trying to remember someone that had already been forgotten. The melody was slow and mournful, as though the siren were grieving this person with all of their heart. When Jon sat down next to it, the siren jumped, as though it had been too absorbed in singing to notice his presence.

“Sorry,” Jon muttered, feeling embarrassed. “I didn’t want to interrupt you.”

“No... It’s fine.” The siren smiled shyly, and Jon felt his cheeks grow warm despite the cool night air. “You just startled me, is all. Not many humans come out here.”

There was a moment of silence before Jon spoke up again. “I liked your song.” 

“Oh- oh! Thank you... It was Jon, right?” Another small smile, the briefest flash of pointed teeth reflecting the moonlight.

With a nod Jon remembered that he still had no idea what the siren’s name was. Well, he might as well take a guess, it wasn’t like he could feel any worse tonight? “What was yours again? Martin?”

The siren laughed, and despite knowing he should feel embarrassed Jon wasn’t. It didn’t sound like the creature was making fun of him, only that it was amused. “I told you that you wouldn’t be able to pronounce it.”

“Fine, you were right,” without meaning to, Jon found himself smiling as well. “I bet there are words I know that you wouldn’t be able to pronounce.”

“What was it you called me?” The siren’s blue eyes were wide, its expression curious. 

“Martin.” Jon paused for a second. “Do you mind if I call you that?” 

“No, it sounds like a nice name. Like it belongs to someone happy.” The siren’s- Martin’s - face was thoughtful. Their eyes half-closed and their lips quirked in that shy smile. “Martin... Maartin.” 

There was a piece of driftwood a few paces away, nothing more than a twig, but Jon managed to pull it up without breaking it. He wrote the siren’s name in the sand, as neatly as he could manage it. He wasn’t even sure if they could read English, but for some reason he wanted to show them what it looked like. “This is how you write it.” 

Tracing the letters with their fingers Martin grinned up at Jon, an expression so pure it made his chest feel tight. “Thank you, it’s a lovely name.”

When Jon sat down again, tossing the stick into the waves, he couldn’t help but sigh. “Is everything okay?” Martin’s brows were knit in concern. 

“I’m fine, I guess.” Jon didn’t know how to put his emotions into words.

“Doesn’t sound like it.” Martin hummed thoughtfully. “Do you still feel lonely?”

“What?” 

“Before, when we first met,” the siren didn’t need to mention what had happened but Jon suspected they were both remembering it. “You said you didn’t really feel like you fit in anywhere, right?”

“Yeah...” Jon absentmindedly ran a finger through the wet sand, just to give himself something to do. “I just...” he sighed. “I guess I feel more alone than ever. Before- when I thought I was immune to sirens- at least I thought there was something about me that made me special. Now that I know why most of the songs don’t affect me... that it’s because I’m missing something that most humans have... I feel like I’m broken somehow.”

“Why would you be broken?” A cool hand rested on Jon’s, causing him to flinch for a second before he realized it was Martin’s. He didn’t move his hand away.

“Because almost everyone else is interested in...” he paused, feeling his cheeks heat up again. “In... sex, and I’m not. How that is somehow enough that most siren’s songs don’t affect me.”

“Once again, I don’t see how that would make you broken. I don’t care much for it either, does that make me broken?” Martin chuckled softly. “I also don’t like some fish, or eating humans for that matter. I’m considered odd among sirens, but does that make me broken?” Another pause. “Everyone is different, and I think that’s a good thing. It’d be really boring if we were all the same.”

“You mean that?”

“No, Jon, I’m just saying all this because I like the sound of my own voice.” The siren’s tone was sarcastic. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re fine just the way you are.”

Jon lay back on the sand, gazing up at the night sky and wondering why he felt so warm despite the cool night air on his face. “Thank you.” He relished the feeling of Martin’s hand in his own, a connection to someone who seemed to understand him. “Will you… would you mind being my friend?”

There was silence for a few seconds and Jon wondered if he’d messed up somehow. “Do you mean that?” Martin’s voice was quiet, almost tentative. It was as though the siren was holding onto the same hope that he was.

Jon nodded. “I feel less lonely around you.” 

“But, aren’t you afraid of me? I’m a siren, remember?”

“You’ve saved my life twice already, I think if you wanted me dead I wouldn’t be here now.” It was a truth Jon hadn’t realized until he said it aloud, all of it. He doubted Martin would hurt him, even though they were the only siren whose songs had any effect on him. “We don’t have to be friends if you don’t-”

“I do!” The siren blurted out, only to realize how loud they were being. “I do, I want to be your friend.”

All his life Jon had heard tales of sirens, although no two stories were the same. The bodies of birds, the tails of fish, good singers and bad singers, it was almost as though the creatures didn’t want humans to know the truth about them. Now, with a siren lying next to him, their hands clasped together, Jon had a goal. Martin had talked about coexistence between their species, and he would do his best to make it a reality.

Notes:

There is another fic I want to write in this universe about how their relationship develops, but for now (as it is with so many of my one shots) they smitten and don’t realize it.