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Shepard was blowing off steam. She greatly enjoyed the familiar bang of her shotgun echo through the shooting range. With her M-27 Scimitar shotgun still held loosely in one hand, she reached for a bottle of vodka with the other. After a deep swig, she stabbed the button for the silhouette paper target so it zoomed forwards and Shepard could observe her handiwork. A concentrated scatter of shots had torn a hole straight through the silhouette’s head.
Shepard heard the door open and close behind her before she glanced over her shoulder to see a brief flash of blue armour.
‘I can paint Kaidan’s face on them, if that would help.’ Came Garrus’ reverberating voice, betraying his amusement with a distinctive turian chuckle. Shepard reloaded her shotgun and smiled. She was relieved that it was Garrus who had found her hiding place; not that it would have been hard to find her considering the racket her shotgun was projecting through the Normandy.
‘Tempting.’ She responded, aiming her shotgun and taking a couple of shots at the next silhouette target.
The new mods she had just installed were impressive. Higher capacity, precision and damage as well as her shotgun being significantly lighter. It was just as well they were impressive mods as they had nearly bankrupted her bank account. She shouldn’t be allowed to access the weapons cache or her bank account in her inebriated state and she was sure she might regret it in the morning.
But this evening, she needed it. Screw what tomorrow would bring.
She frowned at the silhouette. Her shot wasn’t as centralised as her last. Probably the alcohol. Garrus cleared his throat.
‘Talk to me about Horizon, Shepard.’ Garrus said and Shepard thought it sounded suspiciously like an order but she knew she wanted to talk about Horizon. She wasn’t sure what good it would do. Shooting certainly helped. As did drinking. But talking?
‘I’m angry and upset… and feeling down right betrayed. God damn, Kaidan. How dare he. I should have punched him for the things he said to me.’
Shepard stabbed violently at the button for the next target so it zoomed toward her. It stopped barely ten metres from her. She took aim and fired. The blast tore through the head of the dummy, leaving nothing by scorched paper. Ah, that was satisfying. ‘And instead I invite him back on the Normandy? Beg him to come back like a pathetic love-sick schoolgirl.’
‘It was a shock for all of us, seeing you back.’ Garrus eased and she shook her head firmly.
‘Even so… I was the one who died and somehow Kaidan manages to make it all about him. About how I had wronged him. How I betrayed the Alliance. Not a care in the world about how I’m actually trying to track down what happened to the missing colonists. No, Kaidan just focuses on Cerberus. Does he not know me at all?’ Shepard threw the shotgun on the workbench next to her with a crash and rubbed at her temples.
‘I’m sorry, Shepard. It must have been hard.’ The turian said, moving to stand next to Shepard and observing her handiwork. ‘So how many Kaidanesque silhouettes have you destroyed?’
‘I lost count about half a bottle of vodka ago. I just needed to shoot something. Or drink my weight in alcohol.’
As if to prove her point, she took a swig of vodka. The burn of the alcohol in her throat helped ease the fire in her heart. She could feel it; the fuzziness of her mind. She had hoped the alcohol would drown out her angry, hurt thoughts. The liquid made a sploshing sound as she put it back down on the workbench.
‘So you decided to do both?’ Garrus asked, amused.
‘I decided to do both.’ She affirmed with an attempt at a smile.
She turned to look at him, leaning back against the workbench. Her eyes trailed the scars across Garrus’ plated face. His armour was still shot to hell and seeing it made her stomach clench, remembering the terror at almost having him ripped away from her as soon as they’d been reunited on Omega. She was sure she could see concern glowing in his cool-blue eyes. His mandibles flared and he showed teeth in a small turian smile.
‘Mind if I join you?’
‘The drinking or the reckless shooting?’
Garrus chuckled, his subharmonics washing over her. ‘Both? Though I can’t drink your swill, I’d have to fetch my own.’
‘I’d be glad of the company.’
Garrus returned after a little while with two glasses and a bottle of turian brandy for himself. Shepard sunk into an uncomfortable metal chair and Garrus fell into a matching one opposite her. She enjoyed watching the turian manoeuvre himself in his armour and she was always surprised Garrus was able to shoot with such astounding precision with his rifle despite his talons. He held out a glass for her.
‘I brought you a glass in case… well, in case you were done drinking straight from the bottle.’
‘Why stop now?’ Shepard queried with a laugh. She brought the mouth of the bottle to her lips and then paused when she noticed Garrus’ disapproving stare. ‘Oh, alright, I’ll take the glass.’
‘You’ll thank me in the morning, Shepard.’
She poured vodka into the glass and then sipped at it. Since relinquishing her shotgun, she felt lightheaded and her facial scars ached. It felt as though her face was going to fall apart if she so much as smiled. Maybe the alcohol could numb that too.
‘I didn’t think I even cared that much.’ Shepard muttered, rubbing her tired eyes. ‘About Kaidan. I mean, I know I cared but I didn’t realise his words would…’ She shook her head, not really being one to share her own feelings.
Garrus was quiet though he kept his eyes on her, concentrating on her words. She wondered if he just didn’t know what to say.
‘He should never had said those things to you.’ Garrus agreed eventually, taking a large drink from his own glass. ‘He was out of line.’
‘You know, for a tiny moment I almost regretted saving his life on Virmire.’ Shepard disclosed. It had been the first thought she’d had walking away from Kaidan on Horizon and the guilt of that thought had been eating her alive. ‘I wondered what Ash would have said in his position. That perhaps she would have understood, that she might have listening. I mean Cerberus, damn Garrus, how did we get here?’
‘You know, Joker recommended we turn the Normandy around and shoot Kaidan down for insubordination. Something about Spectre authority. I don’t suppose that would make you feel better?’ Garrus said with a lilt of humour to his voice. Shepard liked his voice; the two tones made it almost musical and it never failed to relax her. It certainly helped when people riled her up on missions and just hearing Garrus’ calming comments made her think clearly.
Shepard laughed. ‘I don’t think Joker was ever Kaidan’s biggest fan.’
‘As for Cerberus,’ Garrus moved his glass round and round on the workbench, causing the brandy inside to swirl in an alcoholic whirlpool. ‘We aren’t working for them.’
‘I’m not sure the Illusive Man sees it that way.’
‘To Hell with the Illusive Man.’ Garrus growled. ‘I know you don’t trust him, Shepard. Neither do I. Neither does Tali or Joker. We know who we can trust and in the end, that’s what counts. Just because Cerberus brought you back from the dead does not mean they automatically gain your loyalty. Or mine, despite how glad I am to see you back.’
‘I can’t even begin to tell you how relieved I was to see you on Omega, Garrus.’ Shepard agreed. She put her glass of vodka down with a sigh. ‘To actually see a friendly face-‘
‘And watch me take a missile to said friendly face. Really, Shepard, you couldn’t have warned me?’
‘I was feeling left out being the only one on the ship with facial scars.’ She took a large gulp of vodka to hide her playful grin. ‘Besides, they suit you, Vakarian. They give a certain… credibility to your whole badass vigilante persona.’
‘As long as you like them.’ Garrus replied with a laugh and backtracked when she smirked at him. ‘I mean- as long as, well…’ He looked momentarily panicked, paused, took a breath and then continued with regained dignity. ‘I think your scars suit you too, Commander. I once wondered how it was possible for a human to go through what you have and not have scars in that soft squishy skin of yours.’
‘Squishy!’ Shepard protested with a laugh.
‘We both know your – erm – fragile body wouldn’t have withstood a missile to the face.’ Garrus showed all his teeth in a wide turian grin. She looked over her glass at him.
‘Oh Garrus, you’d be surprised what my body can withstand.’ Shepard said in a seductive voice and Garrus choked on his drink. Shepard laughed as Garrus’ mandibles clicked tensely.
‘I- erm…’ Garrus floundered as he tried to think of a witty response but it was clear that Shepard’s statement had rattled him. EDI took that moment to interrupt, her voice echoing across the intercom.
‘Commander, Mr Moreau requests your presence on the bridge.’
‘Of course he does.’ Shepard muttered, grabbing for the vodka bottle as she dragged herself to her feet. Garrus stood with her and she noticed his usual calm return. He nodded his head at the bottle.
‘I hope you don’t plan on drinking more of that.’
‘No. I’m done for the night. You cheered me up. Besides, duty calls.’ She closed the gap between them and rested a hand on his arm. ‘Thank you for coming to find me. I really do appreciate it.’
‘Good night, Shepard.’
Whether through instinct or blood alcohol content, Shepard deposited a brief kiss on Garrus’ mouth, hearing the startled hum of his subharmonics and a soft growl from the back of his throat. Her heart thundered in her chest and she slowly pulled back, realising what she had just done. Neither of them said a word until Shepard let him go. She considered blaming her excessive consumption of vodka until Garrus cleared his throat and spoke first.
‘I should… get back to my calibrations.’ Garrus said, but still didn’t make any moves to step away from her. She met his gaze again and was surprised to see he was smiling, despite still looking shell-shocked. ‘Thank you for the drink, Shepard.’
‘And thank you for the pleasant company. Sweet dreams, Garrus.’ She breathed huskily.
The intercom buzzed a second time: ‘Commander, Mr Moreau said-‘
‘Thank you, EDI.’ Shepard replied tersely, cutting the AI off before she had a chance to repeat Joker’s request. ‘I’ll see you soon, Garrus.’
She didn’t give him time to reply and turned to head for the bridge.
This had better be good, Joker, or I swear next time I’ll let you go down with the Normandy. Shepard fumed as she headed for the elevator.