Work Text:
Garrus knew it was coming. News spread like wildfire and soon as he caught word that Shepard had offered Kaidan a position on the Normandy, it was clear to him that the Major would not let his relationship with Shepard lie. He wondered whether in Kaidan’s position he would do the same.
Damn you, Kaidan. As if Shepard didn’t have enough on her plate.
When the doors to the gun battery slid open, Garrus toyed with the idea of delaying the inevitable with the usual: Can it wait for a bit? I’m in the middle of some calibrations.
The stomping of Kaidan’s military issue boots told Garrus a mere dismissal wouldn’t be enough to quench the man’s anger.
‘Good to see you, Kaidan.’ Garrus said without so much as turning. ‘Or should I say, Spectre Major Alenko. Congratulations.’ He finished typing and moved away from the console. Kaidan waited by the closed doors, dressed in his casual clothes and his face betrayed very little emotion.
‘Garrus.’ Kaidan greeted in an even tone. That wasn’t a good start. Kaidan didn’t say another word as though he expected Garrus to fill in the gaps. Last time they had been face-to-face Kaidan had been pointing a gun at Shepard and Garrus knew that if Kaidan hadn’t backed down, he would have taken the shot for her. He certainly wouldn’t have put Shepard through that, having to shoot a friend and an ex-lover.
‘So, urm, how are the gun calibrations going? I mean… the new ship is great and all...’ Kaidan scratched at the back of his neck which Garrus recognised as the Major’s anxious tick. It was almost nostalgic to watch and a sign that Kaidan, despite crawling up in rank, was still the same man he was on the Normandy SR-1. Kaidan tried to smile but Garrus had learnt enough about human expressions to know it was more of a grimace than a smile.
‘Yes, well, Cerberus really put all they could into rebuilding her.’ Garrus said, a little more proudly than he’d anticipated. ‘She’s perfect.’
He noticed Kaidan’s expression darken. Garrus wondered if his thoughts had turned to the fact that Cerberus’ had also had a hand in rebuilding Shepard back from a lump of flesh. Garrus groaned inwardly. It hadn’t been his intention to allude to that.
‘She is, isn’t she.’ Kaidan commented and Garrus knew for certain they were no longer talking about the Normandy. ‘So you and Shepard, huh? Can’t say I saw that coming. When did that, er…’ He trailed off, as though unsure what he actually wished to accuse Garrus of.
Garrus felt his mandible click nervously. Yes, this was the conversation he had been dreading and he prayed to the Spirits that he would be able to keep his temper in check.
Kaidan was still floundering with his questions as Garrus directed his attention back to the human. ‘I mean, she said you were together but I wasn’t sure I really… believed it, you know… Maybe it was wishful thinking or something-‘
Garrus decided it was time to give him a helping hand. Better out than in, so the human saying went. Wait, was that right- In any case, the saying seemed appropriate.
‘It was after Horizon if that’s what you’re concerned about.’
‘I knew you were close but this…’ Kaidan scratched the back of his head again. ‘I’m not going to lie. It hurts. No offence but I thought we were friends, Garrus.’
Garrus took offence at that. Kaidan’s actions on Horizon had angered Garrus probably as much as they had Shepard.
‘We were.’
‘Then why would you-‘
‘You should have trusted her.’ Garrus cut him off and Kaidan blinked at him with a blank expression. ‘On Horizon, you labelled Shepard as a traitor. I believe your exact words were “you turned your back on everything you believed in.”’
‘I’m not proud of it but how could you have been so sure that she was the real deal back then? Working for Cerberus… She could have been manipulated or indoctrinated or… or…’
‘One conversation with her would have told you she was the same as the day the Collectors tore into the Normandy. You didn’t give her the courtesy to let her explain. You were too blinded by your own anger and pain to see Shepard’s-’
‘Now, wait a minute-‘ Kaidan snapped, his face turning scarlet with anger.
‘If you are here to lecture me on my actions or Shepard’s, perhaps you should consider your own first.’
He’d done it now. Lost himself in his own bitter feelings about Horizon and voiced them out loud. But Kaidan hadn’t been around to deal with the fallout of his harsh words to Shepard. Of course, Shepard never voiced her feelings about what had happened between her and Kaidan in so many words but Garrus had noticed the subtle changes. The reckless charges into battle, the extra shots into already-dead enemies and her dismissive expression whenever anyone tried to bring up Kaidan’s involvement in Horizon.
‘Sh-She cheated on me.’ Kaidan spluttered. ‘How do you think that made me feel?’
‘After everything you said, can you blame her? You shot her down. You made her feel untrustworthy and rejected when she needed you the most. Shepard needs people who trust her. Whether it’s her crew or the person she loves. She had enough people doubting her without adding your name to the list. You were the one person who should have stood by her.’
‘I sent her an email to apologise. She was dead… Two years… She should have known that I didn’t mean… it wasn’t…’ Kaidan stuttered and then kicked at the side of Garrus’ console angrily.
Garrus hadn’t known about Kaidan’s email. If he knew Shepard, she would have deleted the email instantly without reading it. He remembered the overwhelming sorrow he felt when he was informed of Shepard’s death after the Collector attack. He buried himself in the darkest depths of Omega to avoid the pain of losing his one true friend in the galaxy.
He also recalled the overwhelming relief when he had seen her charging through Omega, wiping out mercs in search of Archangel. In search of him.
Shepard. I thought you were dead. He hadn’t been able to hold back the smile when he saw her tell-tale red hair and cool blue eyes.
Garrus! She had given him that rare Shepard smile that he was sure she saved for him. Seeing her again, seeing her alive, made it worth taking a missile to the face. Hell, he could have died happy that day.
She had been exactly the same as he remembered plus a few scars. It felt so natural to fight by her side again and he didn’t even hesitate to question why she flew Cerberus colours. No, he didn’t care.
It had been Shepard, and he trusted her. He would follow her to hell and back. In fact, he had on more than one occasion. And here he was, ready to do it again.
‘Two years…’ Kaidan repeated, leaning against the door and dragging Garrus back out of his thoughts. ‘I still love her.’ He added in such a quiet voice that Garrus almost missed it. He felt a jolt of anger at the man’s admission and his talon’s clenched around the side of the console.
‘Damn, Kaidan, only a few hours ago you were going to shoot Shepard. I wouldn’t call that love.’ Garrus growled, his sub-harmonics deep and threatening. He shook his head. ‘You are welcome to attempt to patch things up with the Commander, far be it beyond me to stop you, but don’t think for a second I will be kind on you if you hurt her.’
‘I love Shepard, I would never-‘
‘Ah but you did.’ Garrus rumbled, crossing his spindly arms across his chest. ‘And next time you do something to hurt her, I’ll be there to pick up the pieces. I’ll always be there. Your lack of trust in Shepard lost you my trust, Major. And if you ever point a gun at Shepard again, I will shoot you.’
Garrus noticed that Kaidan couldn’t look at him, instead his brown eyes were fixed somewhere on the other side of the gun battery. The threat was clear and Garrus meant every word. Nobody would mess with his Commander. Not the geth, not the Collectors, not Cerberus, not the Reapers and most definitely not Major Kaidan Alenko.
‘Understand, Alenko?’ Garrus demanded as his mandibles twitched.
‘Of course, Vakarian.’ Kaidan looked ready to leave, he paused as the doors opened. ‘Do you love her?’ He asked, without turning to look back at Garrus.
It wasn’t something Garrus had said out loud, not even to Shepard. He was secretly concerned Kaidan’s return may have altered her decision to stay with him. He was also too afraid to ask Shepard if that was the case, preferring to let Shepard come to her own conclusion.
‘Do you?’
‘More than anything.’
He saw Kaidan nod his head and storm out of the door. Probably to mope in the Observation Lounge. Garrus closed his eyes as the doors slid shut.
Well… that could have gone better.