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It was supposed to be a delightful afternoon and that was also how it started out as.
Felix had been wanting to visit this one art gallery that piqued his interest and not wanting to go alone; he dragged his boyfriend with him. Bang Chan, or just Chan, was never really interested in these types of things but there was one thing he was interested in: seeing Felix happy. And if that meant walking in an art venue while being able to see Felix completely lose himself in the art, then so be it. He was a goner for Felix anyways (and who would blame him?), he only had to sacrifice some of his time.
They planned to go in the afternoon, hoping that by then the morning crowds would have disappeared, making it a lot less hectic. They ended up being right as there were little to no people wandering around when they arrived which made it very relaxing to just stroll around.
Chan took this chance to increase his normally contained PDA, almost no one was there to judge two gay dudes for displaying their relationship. Besides, it was not like they were bothering other people by holding hands while looking at some art.
--
Some time passes where they walk around and occasionally stop whenever Felix wants to get a better look at one of the art works. Chan wasn’t even paying much attention to the art itself, but instead kept his focus on the way Felix's face lit up every time he stares at a piece that he thinks is fascinating.
It seemed that he was enjoying himself and there was nothing else Chan could ask for, even if it meant getting dragged around by his small boyfriend (who was a lot stronger than you’d expect). One little thing was bothering Chan though, and that were his feet. Chan and Felix had been in the gallery for god knows how long and his flat feet were surely experiencing those side effects and he just needed to sit down before the pain started to become unbearable.
Luckily, this gallery (like many others) had benches, probably because Chan wouldn't be the only one getting tired after only an hour. He plopped himself down on the one in the middle of the room so that he could still keep an eye on Felix.
The art gallery took mostly place in one big room with not that many art pieces, meaning that Chan basically didn't have to move while still being able to see the art and everyone in the room.
After some more time, Chan notices a professional looking lady approaching Felix, she looked like she came straight from a magazine shoot for young successful women, and Chan felt just a tiny bit intimidated by her. She walked with the type of confidence that Chan could only wish to posses one day and if he wasn't in a happy relationship with Felix, he would definitely be attracted to her.
At first he thought that Felix did something wrong like touch a painting or something (which was kind of a realistic thing that Felix could've done) but when she came closer to the point where he could basically smell her expensive perfume, he noticed the badge pinned to her blazer which read 'guide'.
So luckily no security of some sort, Chan definitely couldn't afford to bail Felix out of jail if he did something wrong. The lady had come to a halt right before Felix and because Felix was practically standing in front of Chan, the conversation between them could be heard. The woman had clearly decided to pay no mind to him when she turned to Felix completely ignoring Chan's presence.
“I saw you from across the hall and it seemed that you really like art, is there anything you want more explanation on? I know the creator of these pieces and I’m sure I would be able to give you more insight if you’d like that,” she said, clearly trying to convince Felix to agree.
Chan almost wanted to yell “No!” feeling very uncomfortable and unwanted. At the same time, he knew that he was here for Felix so in the end his choice was more important. Almost certain that Felix was not going to let this opportunity slide, he looked at him, waiting for his response.
“I would love to hear more!” he practically beamed, and there was no way Chan was going to ruin this for him so he just nodded, the woman probably not noticing him by the way she was still intensely staring at Felix, Chan’s boyfriend.
If anyone were to ask Chan if he was a jealous person, he would instantly say no. However, right in this moment he did feel some jealousy burning in the back of his mind. Maybe it was because the way Felix was looking at the woman made him feel like he was not important anymore.
Or maybe it was because he knew that Felix loved talking about art which was something Chan was never really interested in so Felix never brought it up when it was just the two of them and seeing him share that passion with someone else made him feel sad. So what if he was being selfish for thinking that?
Whatever it was, the jealousy was only getting worse. What didn’t help at all, was the fact that Chan was being blatantly ignored by the woman, it was like she didn’t even notice he was there. He definitely got the urge to snap his finger right in front of the woman’s face and be like: “Hello? I’m here too?” but of course he didn’t because that would be rude and Chan would never actually do such a thing.
--
After what felt like an eternity (at least to Chan) the woman seems to be done (finally). However what comes next might just be the final straw.
“I’m sorry if this is going to be a bit more straightforward and unprofessional but I have to ask. Is there any chance that I could get your phone number so we can talk more, about art or other things? It’s just that I really enjoyed conversing with you,” the woman said while already reaching for her phone.
Before Chan could open his mouth to start explaining how Felix was very much taken, Felix stepped in, probably knowing how protective Chan could get from time to time.
“Thank you for the offer but I’m afraid I’ll have to decline. I am not looking for a date since I’m already in a lovely relationship,” Felix said, while still being polite like always.
“Oh, I see. She must be a lucky lady then,” the woman spoke, trying to get rid of the awkward tension that was starting to rise.
“Actually,” Chan started, finally getting the woman’s attention on him as well, “it’s a lucky dude. He grabbed Felix's hand and held it up in the air like some kind of trophy to emphasize his point.
The woman didn’t say anything, but if the look on her face was anything to go by, she was definitely not a gay ally. You could even say that she had a disgusted look on her face while she walked away clearly not happy with the outcome of what just happened.
After Chan’s sudden burst of confidence had worn off, he realized what just happened. Felix was looking at Chan with a shocked expression on his face but in his eyes there was some sort of admiration to be seen. ‘Wow,’ Chan thought by himself, ‘I really just did that.’
Felix gave him a hug, which helped him come back to his senses, it felt like he came down from a high which was probably caused by adrenaline and temporary confidence.
The thing is that Chan had a lot of trouble accepting the fact that he was indeed not as straight as he originally thought.
He never had anything against gay people or the LGBTQ+ community in general, but coming to terms that he himself was bisexual was a bit of a struggle. Years of internalized homophobia (which was mostly caused by his extreme religious family, who saw gay people as a “spreading disease that is going to ruin the world”) were deep ingrained in his brain.
Even though he had been dating Felix for some years, he still had problems with overcoming these struggles. So basically telling a random woman in an art gallery about his and Felix’s sexualities was indeed a big deal.
He sometimes even found it hard whenever his friends would make jokes about his relationship with Felix (even if they didn’t mean it in a bad way) because he often felt like he was doing something wrong, or that he wasn’t normal.
After the whole fiasco ended, Chan realized that they were in fact still in the art gallery, Felix was looking at him with careful eyes, ‘is he trying to communicate through them or something’ Chan thought.
After a moment of silence, Felix finally decides to speak up: “I think I’ve seen enough art for today. We should just head home and maybe order some take-out cuz I’m not really up to cooking.” Chan agrees and lets Felix know by standing up and walking towards the exit, he doesn't need words to let Felix know that he wants to go home and he is glad that Felix has always been very understanding.
The drive home wasn't very long as the art gallery was not far from where their apartment is located, they could’ve gone with their bikes earlier but the weather wasn’t looking too good so they decided to play it safe. Which now seems like a good idea because the rain was already pouring when they ran towards the car, trying not to get soaked.
--
Chan almost throws himself inside the apartment the moment they arrive, he was tired and felt like shit. A day that started amazingly completely ruined because of me, he thought. He didn’t want Felix to suspect that he wasn’t feeling great but at the same time he knew that his boyfriend was unlikely to not realize what had happened. Besides, he definitely needed some of Felix’s cuddles right at this moment.
Felix was quick to follow him towards the sofa in their relatively big living room. They’ve been living here for quite some time and it really felt like a home, the sofa would always bring them comfort in physical and emotional ways.
Finally taking a moment to think without the noise of the car in the background made Chan feel relieved, he needed some comfort. And he found that comfort when Felix started wrapping his arms around Chan, not yet saying anything, just holding him. Chan tried to match his ragged breathing to Felix’s calmed one while their chest touched to make himself calm down.
The position they were currently in might seem uncomfortable to an outsider but to Chan it was the most comfortable he felt all day. He had craved for this from the moment they left the art gallery and Chan was already feeling a lot better.
“Hey, wanna talk about it?” Felix asked tilting his head to make Chan know that even if he said no, he was still going to comfort him. Chan stayed silent for a moment, contemplating if he did actually want to talk about it, but in the end he knew that good communication was important in a relationship and he didn’t want to carry these burdens on his own, not anymore.
“It’s just,” Chan sighed, “it still feels like I’m doing something wrong. And I know that that is so unfair to you.” Felix started softly padding his head to show Chan that it was okay. “Don’t think about me for a second, what did you feel?” Felix said. “I don’t really know, the look she gave me was as if she was disgusted by me, like I was taking advantage of you, and it just brought me back to those days.”
With those days it was almost obvious that he meant the days that he had to accept the fact that he wasn’t straight. The scars from his struggles with his sexuality were still fresh and needing some more time to heal. Despite it being so easy to date Felix, because Felix was one heck of an awesome boyfriend, Chan still had many difficulties with displaying his relationship.
The way he just suddenly announced to a random woman that she was in fact hitting on his boyfriend was not something that he would’ve normally done. He actually felt kind of proud, if it wasn’t for the woman’s reaction to his statement.
After talking some about it made Chan eventually feel a little better. Felix choose a random comedy film on Netflix and ended up ordering some takeout for the both of them. Chinese food always cheered Chan up and this time was no different.
When I was time to sleep Chan wasn't upset anymore and stopped thinking about what had happened at the art gallery. Felix thought it was probably because of the food but Chan knew that it was mostly due to his awesome boyfriend (he was definitely still too shy to ever admit that though).