Chapter Text
“Hey, Adam!” shouted Trudy Platt, gatekeeper of the 21st district in Chicago. Adam walked away from Kevin to find out what the sergeant wanted, although he had a pretty good guess.
He knew Trudy had a great deal of respect for Kim Burgess, took pride in training her and was thrilled when she had been promoted to Intelligence. Same as Kevin Atwater, there was a hole on the force now that hadn’t been filled when the two left. She struggled to maintain her professional demeanor when Kim had been missing and he could count on her to check in on Kim, and himself and Makayla, the whole unit pitching in to support Burgess in any way possible.
The only person that hadn’t really come across the threshold of Kim’s apartment was Hailey. He was surprised because she had been the voice of reason to him to not cross any lines or act recklessly to find Kim. He would have liked to reach out to her, he owed her that much, but honestly handling Burgess and Makayla and work was about all he could handle right now. Hailey would have to wait.
He would give anything to find Roy. Kim hadn’t been able to fully recover without her kidnapper behind bars. She was still having panic attacks and nightmares and she hadn’t slept much in the last week. She would go with him to drop off Makayla in the morning, and she was home when the kid came off the bus in the afternoon. Aside from a few assignments, she hadn’t gone back to full time work. He knew that eventually she would feel strong enough to come back to Intelligence. At least he thought she would. Seeing her in the hospital, hearing her testimony of all that she endured, his fear of her being gone from his life haunted him. Whatever Kim decided, he would be okay with. He wasn’t going anywhere, and it seemed that for the first time in a long time, that Kim finally believed that.
One morning he had been forced to take action, when upon arriving home (Kim’s apartment) after dropping Makayla off at school, he found her screaming because of a nightmare. It wasn’t the first, and most certainly wouldn’t be the last. It killed him anytime he had to leave her for any reason.
After a few days of no sleep, Kim couldn’t sleep unless he was physically in the same room, which he did so her screams didn’t wake Makayla. She was so tired, so exhausted she didn’t look like herself. Trudy and Mouch had volunteered to have Kim’s daughter stay the weekend with them, when she noticed how weary he looked on his way into shift a few days prior. Adam finally let her in, telling her some of the traumatic details of Kim’s recovery.
“Darlin, you need to sleep.” He tried to coax her into her large comfortable bed from the small, cramped couch in her living room. When Kim resisted, her stubbornness and persistence which usually worked to her benefit, was actually working against her. He needed to be able to convince her that she needed more help than he could provide. Crying in her dinner, physically unable to lift the fork from her plate to her mouth, gave Adam the courage to take the decision away from her. He texted Will and carefully wrapped Kim in his hoodie and buckled her into his jeep and headed to MED. He left his jeep half on the sidewalk outside the entrance.
“Adam, what’s going on?” Will asked concerned, as the officer carried Kim into the ED.
“She’s not sleeping, hasn’t slept more than three hours a night for a week. She can barely stay awake, but she refuses to sleep. Nightmares and all, you know?” He informed the Emergency Department physician as Maggie brought a gurney to them.
Will knew the stress that Burgess was under and that she was still suffering physically from her ordeal. He had stopped in several times when she was in ICU, and almost everytime he did Adam was there. It stung a little bit seeing Adam and Kim together, because it reminded him of Natalie and him. But he was glad that Kim had Adam in her corner, helping her through her trauma.
He brought them to a private patient room on the cardio floor where it would be quiet and out of the way. The nurses set up her IV with fluids, pain meds, and a sedative. He also sent a text to Dr. Charles and had the psychiatrist schedule a visit in the morning. Will also had a cot brought in for Adam, knowing he wasn’t leaving Kim’s side anyway.
Adam hoped that every day would get a little better but with Roy still on the loose he was worried. Kim always puts others first, she always has and probably always will. Her heart was one the things he loved most about her. But this time it might destroy her.
He had found a letter from CPS on the nightstand one night after he tucked her in, the results of her home inspection. He was shocked and saddened at the news, worried about what it might mean for Kim and Makayla both. And for him? He had become quite attached to that six year old. She loved to laugh and put on plays for Kim and him after dinner. She loved Disney movies, and she and Kim often discussed going to Disney World one day. Everything he had ever wanted with Kim was happening, and he wasn’t going to sit idly by as CPS tried to destroy it.
“Hey Jay!” Will called across Molly’s after his brother and Hailey and Kevin came strolling in after another long work day. The three Intelligence members joined Will at the table he had snagged outside away from the other customers.
“Hey.” Will returned the greeting while ordering a round of beers. “How’s Burgess doing?” he asked worried about their teammate and his friend.
“About the same I guess. Some days are better than others.” Kevin admitted slowly. If only they could find Roy, he thought. Maybe then Kim would finally be at ease. He could see the toll of her ordeal on her face of course, but also in Adam.
“How are the nightmares?” The doctor continued. “I gave her some sleeping pills when she was admitted over the weekend.”
“What do you mean she was admitted?” Jay questioned curiously. He hadn’t heard that tidbit of information. Adam had been good about updating Burgess’s status every few days while the group visited briefly here and there so as not to overwhelm her.
“I mean, “ Will informed them, “She was admitted to Med on Friday night after not sleeping for a week. The PTSD is very strong.” He realized his mistake, when he saw that the group had no idea of what he was talking about. They had no idea that Adam had somehow convinced Kim to get some medicine and do some inpatient counseling and some well needed rest.
“Uh yeah. I think if she could get some closure, if they find the sick bastard who did this to her and the other girls would go a long way to her recovery. The longer this caseremains open, the harder recovery is going to be.” The red haired doctor didn’t notice the sudden paleness in his brother’s partner's face. Hailey looked like she was going to be sick, excusing herself to the bathroom.
She locked the door behind her, rushing then to the sink to wash some cold water on her face to bring some color back into her cheeks. She stared at her reflection in the mirror, fear and stress were staring back at her. She had no idea how much longer she could hold out. The guilt she felt holding back information that could help her friend recover was overwhelming. Pulling up a ride app on her phone, she arranged for a pickup and was relieved to see one would arrive in three minutes, if only she could get away before Jay noticed.
She knew she was a coward not going to see Kim. She wondered if Kim was upset that she hadn’t stopped by yet. The one thing that could help Kim recover was the one thing Hailey couldn’t actually say. The toll of keeping this secret from Jay, from Kim, from the unit was killing her inside. She couldn’t risk going back to the table, and like the coward that she felt she was, disappeared out the kitchen door unnoticed.
It had been ten minutes and still Hailey hadn’t returned to the table, Jay realized walking back to the restrooms to see if his girlfriend, wait he meant fiancee was okay, he thought with a smile. He couldn’t wait to share the news with everyone.
The whole Burgess kidnapping had affected the whole team, scaring them in ways he didn’t know if they could recover. Adam and Kevin had formed a temporary truce for the sake of Kim, but Jay knew Kevin was still pissed at Adam’s behavior. The only bright light was the fact that Hailey had asked him to marry her before he proposed in return. They didn’t tell anyone, not even Will because it seemed wrong to broadcast their happy news in the wake and fall out of Kim’s ordeal. Not that Kim wouldn’t be happy for him and Hailey, but he knew the team needed to focus on Kim first and finding Roy without any possible distractions. And the sooner they could, the sooner the tension within the team could dissipate.
“Excuse me, but is there a tiny blonde woman in there?” Jay inquired as soon as the door opened and a young college aged girl came out.
“Sorry, there’s only one toilet.” She answered quickly, moving away from the man stalking the women’s restroom.
‘Why would Hailey just leave in the middle of their night out?’ He was concerned and threw down a few bills on the table and apologized to Will, hoping to catch up to her at their apartment which used to be only his apartment. They hadn’t formally moved in together, but they both kept clothes and supplies at the other’s apartment just in case.
He was surprised when he pulled into the parking lot but her car was not in her usual spot. He tried calling her again, having left her two voicemails on his way out of Molly’s that she didn’t answer.
“Hailey, come on, open up.” Jay Halstead had tried to use his key to enter her apartment, but she had latched the chain across the door and he didn’t want to break her door.
“GO home Jay.” She retorted through the door, trying her best to keep her tears at bay.
“I want to know what’s wrong.” Jay declared, worried about Hailey.
“I’m tired and want to sleep in my own bed.” She choked out harshly.
“I need space Jay. Why can’t you get that? We work together, we live together. Sometimes it's just too much.” She pleaded with him to leave her alone. She had been nervously jumping out of her skin since they had run into Will at Molly’s. And when she heard the news of Kim being in the hospital again, it broke her heart.
“You could have at least had the decency to text me that you were leaving.” Jay argued. He could feel her pulling away from him and retreating into herself like she used to.
“I’m going to bed, I will see you at work on Monday.” She stated, tears streaming down her face. She didn’t deserve someone as decent as Jay. He might as well know now the mistake he would be making in marrying her. Someone who was willing to break the rules and allow her friends to hurt wasn’t in Jay’s DNA.
The disappearence of Roy increased the toll of stress on the Intelligence unit. Voight was Voight, though he tried to protect Burgess as much as could, Hailey was internalizing everything and keeping everyone, including Jay at an arm’s length. Adam worried about Kim non-stop and had pretty much moved into Kim’s apartment full time. Jay and Kevin tried to keep cases moving forward, doing the bulk of the investigations and they were all tired.
“Hailey?” Kim called out quietly in the locker room after shift. She wasn’t sure if the blonde detective had left yet, she had some more questions about Roy that she couldn’t shake. Everything was on the line for her right now and she was determined more than ever to find him before he destroyed the rest of her life.
“Yeah, Kim.” Hailey replied reluctantly. She tried to get in and out of the locker room as fast as possible most days to avoid Kim, Adam, and Jay. Kim moved to sit at a bench near the other woman who was finishing changing.
“I was just wondering, are you sure you don’t know anything about Roy?” The brunette officer questioned her friend and teammate. She looked up at her, the fear still clearly shone in her brown eyes as she looked into Hailey’s blue ones, before Hailey averted her eyes.
“It’s just that, that CPS wants to talke Makayla away from me. They think I can’t give her a safe home.” Hailey’s heart hurt at Kim’s statement. She knew how much Kim loved Makayla and Makayla loved Kim. She wished she could give her friend some reassurance. She didn’t know how much longer she could lie to Kim and to Jay. And her friendships with Kevin and Adam would be destroyed as well. She would have to quit the unit, the place she felt safer than anywhere else she had ever worked.
Because the only alternative was crying and admitting to what she and Voight had done, she instead lashed out at Kim. “Kim, I don’t know what to tell you. I’m sorry Roy is missing but I don’t know anything.” She practically yelled at the other woman, slamming her locker and storming out. Kim sat there stunned, unmoving. But she wasn’t alone, another person had been a few rows behind the two girls.
Jay was shocked at the harshness in Hailey’s tone. He was torn, go after Hailey and confront her and make her talk or help Kim. He looked at the brown haired woman, his friend of almost 8 years and made the decision to help her. That’s what made Jay Halstead a good man, doing what was right even if it wasn’t he wanted to do. But Kim didn’t deserve that from Hailey. She had been through so much already.
“Hey.” He said quietly, not to startle the crying woman. He wrapped one arm around her as she started sobbing. She had been the one to comfort him when Erin left, even though he knew she and Erin were best friends, almost like sisters.
She would bring a meal over, eat with him and watch a game. Some times they went to a Cubs or a Bears game, sometimes Blackhawk games if Will bought tickets.They realized that they actually lived not too far from one another. He would take her to work when her car was in the shop or drive her home after a hard case followed by a few rounds of beer at Molly’s.
“They are doing what?” Kevin Atwater shouted in disbelief as Adam filled him in on the status of Kim’s home assessment by CPS. He couldn’t believe that there was a chance Kim could lose Makayla. They two were down in the basement, away from anyone hearing them.
“Yeah it’s tough right now.” Adam admitted. “Everything would be better if we could just find Roy.” The duo slowly walked up the stairs ready to go home. “Maybe the Feds will have better luck.” Kevin agreed. Before they reached the locker room, Jay emerged and asked to speak with Adam. Kevin went in to check on Kim and Jay and Adam moved further down the hallway.
“Ruz, I just wanted to let you know what just happened between Kim and Hailey.” He began, knowing that his friend deserved to know. Ruzek nodded as Jay continued, “Kim was asking Hailey if she was sure she knew nothing about Roy and Hailey lashed out at Kim.” Adam looked frustrated but not surprised.
“Why the hell would Hailey do that?” Adam questioned his friend. “I don’t know, she’s pulling away from me and locking me out. I just thought you should know.” He told Adam. Adam appreciated it, appreciated everyone looking out for Kim as he joined Kim and Kevin in the locker room.
Hailey wished that everyone could accept that Roy was gone in the wind. Then everything would be better and she could finally remove the weight of the case off her shoulders. She wished she could shrug it off as casually as Voight did. But she was glad that she knew she was a better cop by not doing everything Voight’s way. She drove home in silence, wondering if when she came in on Monday morning if she would still have a fiancee, a job, and her friends.