Work Text:
Bell’s face looked like a funhouse mirror. His nose was huge and flat, his left eye larger than the right, and his mouth was a squiggly line that shifted around wildly as he talked. Ryuu set down the empty mug and looked at him again.
His face still looked a bit wonky, but that might have been the beer goggles doing their job.
The Hostess of Fertility was crowded as always. The two of them sat across from one another at the far end of a long table. On the other end, there sat a small party of regulars, shouting at one another over a game of cards. Their noise was a small drop of water in what seemed to be an insanely large ocean of noise, however.
Off in the distance, the sound of glass shattering rang through the air. No one seemed to react but Ryuu. She looked around to see where the noise had come from. A guilty-looking blonde elf with red cheeks and a serious wobble in her step was being scolded by Mia from across the bar. Normally, she’d help with the cleanup, but it was her day off, and she enjoyed it by having a few drinks with Bell.
She glanced at the growing pile of empty mugs beside them.
Maybe ‘a few’ wasn’t accurate.
Between huge gulps of ale, Bell would gesticulate wildly, telling the story of his latest adventure. He always got excited after returning home from the Dungeon. Apparently, a very small section of the Dungeon had collapsed in on him, Lili, and Welf, while they made a casual trip down to floor 18 to meet some friends.
“So then I had to use my dagger to cut Lili’s hair because it was stuck under this giant rock from the collapse! She was thankful for about 5 seconds before she felt the bald spot I’d given her.” He laughed, and the sound was a sparkle that reflected like soft candlelight in his eyes.
“She said she regretted having ever grown it out, but I thought it looked nice. You know, before I had to cut half of it off.”
Across the table, Ryuu held back a shiver. It was hard not to think of a similar experience Bell had had some years ago. One where he wasn’t taking a vacation on floor 18, but was trapped down there after a larger portion of one of the Dungeon floors had collapsed. She recalled the anger and desperation on the faces of their friends when they realized he might not be coming home to them.
Of course, Bell had ended up saving himself and his party (to be expected at this point… the kid basically had the powers of a god.), but Ryuu would always remember the gripping panic that took over them that day, as well as the relief that washed over them when they stumbled down to floor 18 and saw Bell standing before them sporting bandages and a glittering smile.
Since then, he’d continued to grow at a ridiculous pace. Yes, his S-ranked abilities allowed him to gain experience at an insane rate, so he was incredibly skilled. However, he’d developed in other ways, as well.
Once an impassioned introvert driven by his dream of becoming a hero, Bell had blossomed into a man whom others looked up to. He wasn’t the ‘little rookie’ anymore, and Ryuu meant this literally (Bell was about 6 feet tall at this point), but figuratively, as well. He tried to remember everyone he met, treating them as equals. Even when they might not deserve it. And no one was more helpful around town. Carrying boxes to delivery carts, unloading crates at the smithy, helping out in the kitchen at The Hostess of Fertility… between all that and the Dungeon, he’d bulked up.
At that thought, Ryuu glanced at Bell’s forearm, watching the thick muscle flex. The veins stand out. Biceps curled as he shadow-boxed the imaginary goblin in the tale he told across the table. He had a strong jaw now, and it worked around the words he spoke.
Ryuu looked away from his mouth and to the solid shoulders that rose and fell with energetic, breathy laughter. If people didn’t know any better, they might think it strange for such a large man to giggle the way Bell did, but everyone did know better because everyone knew Bell.
Ryuu let out a quiet sigh and gestured to the server on duty to bring more ale.
When their next round was set on the table, she took a long drink and watched Bell from over the top of the mug. He was still engrossed in his own story, with one of his fists outstretched and clenching an invisible dagger. The other pulled his shirt collar down as if someone else were trying to tear it off him.
“It ripped my collar up with its fangs!” Bell laughed, and Ryuu’s eyes trailed down until they caught a brief glimpse of the tip of a scar peaking up over the material.
Blue eyes flicked back up to red.
“It ripped your shirt?” She asked. It was meant to sound chastising, but it was hard to be stern when Bell looked at her like that. Round eyes and a sheepish smile.
She tried again. “Hestia won’t like it if she has to mend another one of your shirts.”
“Yeah.. you’re right,” he replied, and his brows turns up into a pleading look. “I was thinking maybe you could do it for me?”
Ryuu scoffed and set her mug down. “I am not a seamstress, Bell.”
“I know, but I like that shirt and I don’t want a lecture from the goddess!”
Ryuu stared at him with her eyebrows raised, lips resting into a natural frown. Bell gazed back, his look an antonym of hers, and when she didn’t say anything for a moment, he stuck his lower lip out and scrunched his brows together to make a pouty face.
She felt her resolve crack, and she let out a long sigh.
“Bell, you are a 25-year-old man. You should know how to sew.”
The pout was quickly replaced with a smile. “You can teach me!”
“Yeah, definitely not going to do that,” she said, but there was no bite in it. She let out an audible sigh and held her hand out, open, palm up, across the table.
Bell gave a little cheer and twisted his body around in his seat to reach into his satchel. After a moment of rustling and nearly tipping his mug over, he produced a black turtleneck undershirt with a rip perfectly placed on the seam of the collar. When he placed it in her hand, Ryuu scanned the material and hummed.
“This is a quick fix,” she said to the shirt.
“So you can do it tonight then?” A hopeful smile and shining eyes beamed at her.
“Fine, but you are picking up the tab.”
“Of course! Thank you, Ryuu, you’re the best!”
As he said it, Bell suddenly reached out, closing the distance between them in an instant, grasping her hand in both of his. Ryuu stilled. Her hand stayed where it was, unmoving from his as she stared down at the scene on the table.
Bell was a physical person. He showed that he cared through touch. She knew that. She knew because she saw it all the time. He hugged Hestia with crushing force. He acted as Welf’s personal masseuse. And she’d lost count of how many times she’d spied him scratching Lili behind the ears. They were his familia, and it made sense that he would give them physical affections like that. It was who Bell was.
With Ryuu, however, he typically kept his hands to himself, choosing instead to show he cared through proximity. He stood strong near her, as if to quietly confirm that he always had her back. She liked that he did that.
But this...
She continued to stare at the spot where Bell’s hands held her own. They were calloused from years of dungeoneering. From helping around town. From lifting up everyone around him.
Pressed down on her fingers, she silently noted his palms were rough against her skin, but the embrace itself was gentle.
It felt strangely familiar.
A memory from years ago swam to the surface of her mind: a warm hand grasping hers in the light of a small campfire. Earnest advice being whispered to her in the night air over the flickering flames… Words she had not yet heeded from her friend with hair that matched the color of wildfire.
Bell cleared his throat. A blush crept across his cheeks, and his eyes darted between Ryuu’s gaze are where their hands lay clasped together over the table.
A moment or a minute later, he loosened his grip on her and pulled his hands away, tucking them under the table.
“Uh, hah, s- sorry about that. Sometimes I get a little-”
“It's fine,” She cut in. “Ready to go?”
Clearly, he had had a few too many drinks. It was excusable enough.
“Oh. Uhm,” he turned to fumble through his bag again, eventually producing a coin pouch. “Let me just pay quickly.”
He got up from the table to approach the bar. When he was a safe distance away, weaving through patrons and servers, Ryuu brought her gaze back to her fingers.
And when approaching footsteps signaled his return, she quickly gathered her things, stuffing Bell’s torn shirt in her satchel.
***
The door to the Hostess of Fertility swung open, spilling the noises from within onto the cobblestone pathway.
The cheers and laughter from within the tavern began to evaporate into the night sky as Bell took a step out of the doorway and stretched his arms towards the stars, letting out a hefty sigh. “Oh man, the change in scenery is making me realize I may have gone a bit overboard tonight,” he said, taking a shaky step forward, but catching himself on a nearby lamppost.
Moonlight reflected off his hair as he looked over to Ryuu and gave her a cheesy grin. “How about you? How are you feeling?”
Ryuu did a quick evaluation of her current state. Glanced around.
Her eyes seemed to move somewhat jaggedly around the scenery before her, but it wasn’t like she was having trouble understanding what she was seeing: the cobblestone streets stretched in different directions, and a signpost stood proudly nearby. A few people were smoking outside the tavern, and others were out for a late-night stroll.
All the shop windows were dark, but a few upstairs windows glowed with a bit of candlelight. shadows of the shopkeepers moved like ghosts throughout the second-floor living quarters.
She pulled her eyes back to Bell and checked in on the rest of her faculties. The first thing she noted was the floaty feeling in her legs. The second, a sort of haze that seemed to settle over her brain. And third, the hand that once held the shirt felt a bit tingly.
There must have been something about the material that irritated her skin.
“I’m alright,” she said, stepping toward the direction of her home.
Bell let out a laugh and pushed himself off the lamppost, sliding her a sly smile. “You always say that after a few too many.”
Well, she couldn’t exactly argue with him, now could she?
They fell in step with one another as they made their way towards Ryuu’s rented room. It wasn’t much: a single bed with a single window, a small counter, and a cabinet to store what belongings she bothered to keep around. She spent most of her time at the Hostess of Fertility, with Syr, or even in the Dungeon with Bell, so all she needed at the end of the day was a bed to crash in.
A silence sat between them as they followed the path. Ryuu could find a melody between the clicks of her and Bell’s boot heels as they connected with the stone.
As they passed a few blackened shop windows, she caught their reflections. Ryuu wore knee-high tan colored boots that met a green pleated skirt. There were a few beer stains on the material that matched the ones on her white cable-knit sweater.
Wearing white was a bad idea, but under the cover of nightfall and her dark green cloak, no one would know the wiser.
She straightened a few strands of green hair and examined Bell’s reflection. Signature black t-shirt with black trousers, protected by a brown jacket with one black triangular patch over the shoulder. He used to button the top of it, causing the material to angle out and make his torso seem broader. Now, it was unnecessary.
Actually, it was probably impossible, seeing as the thing hardly fit him anymore. He’d begged Hestia several times to tailor the coat so he could still wear it even as he bulked up. Hestia, of course, wasn’t all that skilled with a needle, so the evidence of patchwork was painfully obvious. Bell never seemed to mind, however, saying it was “like carrying around a piece of his younger self.”
A few coins jingled in someone’s pocket. Crickets chirped and the hoot of an owl came from somewhere behind them. If it were just her, the silence would be relaxing, but Ryuu was with Bell, and Bell was hardly ever this quiet.
She turned her head to face him. “Is something the matter?” She asked flatly.
Wide eyes turned towards her, and even in the moonlight, Ryuu could see the blood rush up and warm his cheeks. A hand flew up to scratch the back of his head, causing his white mop to stick out in odd places. He looked up and to the left. Perhaps towards some object in the sky that Ryuu couldn’t see? His lips parted, but no noise came out.
After a moment, his teeth clenched shut, and he sighed.
Ryuu raised an eyebrow at him, waiting patiently for him to choose his words. He let his hand fall back down to his side and looked back to the path in front of them.
His voice was soft when he finally spoke.
“I’m not sure if I should apologize for grabbing your hand earlier,” He stated simply, and if Ryuu’s step faltered a little, Bell didn’t seem to notice.
“I didn’t really think about it,’ he continued, “and I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. I mean, I think you’d tell me, but I-”
“Why would I feel uncomfortable?”
Bell glanced at her before turning his eyes back towards the moon. Then the path. He was contemplating his words, it seemed. Another thing he’s worked at over the last few years. In the past, he’d let words fall out of his mouth like water and instantly regret them. It was a bit humorous at first, but watching him torture himself with embarrassment became difficult to stomach after a while.
“Well, I know you don’t like it when people touch you.”
“When have I said that?”
“Oh, well. I mean, I guess you haven’t actually said it... I just... assumed?”
A spark of irritation flickered. Why would he think she didn’t want people to touch her? Why would he assume such a thing that she’d never said?
Either way, she quickly stamped the spark out. Whatever the reason, she knew Bell well enough to know that it wasn’t meant to be insulting.
The only way to sort it out would be to figure out where it started, so she’d just have to ask.
“Why?”
“Why did I assume?” Bell slowed his steps.
She sighed, trying to be patient. Why was this bothering her?
She matched his pace until eventually they stopped altogether. “Why did you think I didn’t like it being touched?”
Bell turned his body to face Ryuu, and she squared her shoulders to look up at him. The 5-inch height difference usually went unnoticed until she was right in front of him like this, but now she tilted her chin up as the silence sat between them again, and the soft light that rained down from a nearby lamppost illuminated Bell’s face. She watched his expression shift.
“I guess I thought...” he trailed off for a moment and looked away. “I’ve never seen you hug anyone or anything, so I guess I thought maybe you didn’t like it.”
He turned back. “Or maybe it was difficult because of what happened with your...” He hardly breathed the words out; they were so soft on his tongue. “Previous familia.”
Their eyes met, and his gaze held hers. His features were softened not necessarily in sadness, but some other emotion she couldn’t name.
She thought about Bell’s logic there: he was an emotional person. She… wasn’t. At least not anymore. He was right to think about her past and conclude that those events resulted in her stand-offish demeanor. They stood on fairly opposite ends of the spectrum when it came to personality types; she’d figured that out the first day they had met.
He yelled in anger, cried in sadness, cheered with joy… He talked about his feelings and laid himself bare to those around him. It was part of the reason he was so magnetic. He could befriend even the snarkiest or closed-off people through sheer emotional vulnerability.
Hell, it had worked on her that way, and she was fairly confident it was a universal sentiment.
Ryuu, on the other hand, was none of those things. Not in this moment anyways. Before her familia’s murder, she vaguely remembered being somewhat like Bell: excited and hopeful, friendly and open... Friendship and closeness went hand in hand back then. Literally.
Her stomach turned on itself a little as her thoughts flickered back to the campfire.
Could she ever be that version of herself again?
She pulled herself from the memory before she got sucked in for the second time. Now, she was often referred to as an introvert. She was fine with this, of course, as it kept away many of the people she’d rather not waste her time on. She trusted the few friends she had with her life. It seemed to vex them sometimes, however, when she answered their questions. Syr always got upset whenever she wanted feedback on an outfit and did not get the response she was looking for. ‘Well, then don’t ask me for my opinion if you only wanted to hear a lie,’ Ryuu would often say in response. She knew they loved her anyway.
Bell looked at her, but her sight remained fixed upon the golden buckle of his satchel strap. A twinkle of moonlight captured her attention. Eventually, she finally drew in a deep breath and said, “Elves are not fond of physical touch, it's true.”
She watched Bell’s shoulders drop a little, and his eyes dart off to the side. Her fist clenched. A way to regain the little bit of control she had lost a moment ago, she was sure.
“But...” she continued, attempting to relax her fingers, “An old friend advised me not to let go of those I allowed to hold me.”
When red eyes turned back in her direction, blue ones met them halfway.
“So you’re just being particular then?” Bell asked.
“I suppose,” She replied.
”Well, your friend sounds wise.” He said with some warmth in his voice.
Ryuu smiled softly. “She was.”
Bell returned the smile. It was tenfold brighter than her own, of course. A focused blast of sunlight was directed right at her poor, unsuspecting eyes. She squinted and he turned on his heels, closing the distance between them and Ryuu’s home with a bounce in his step.
When they reached the house, Ryuu and Bell snuck up the stairs to her room. A lantern was lit, and a small sewing kit was pulled out of a box from under the bed. Bell talked while Ryuu sewed, their backs pressed up against the side of the small bed, a few quiet laughs exchanged between them on the dusty wooden floor.
When the collar was fixed and the lantern was about to flicker out, it was time for Bell to head home. Ryuu watched him throw the strap of the bag over his shoulder and took a step forward to hand him the shirt. He placed it in the satchel, but fingers lingered on the leather as he closed it. His gaze rested thoughtfully for a moment before sliding to the floor.
She heard him take a sharp inhale and watched him move his eyes from the floor to her socked feet, all the way up to her face. His head stayed bowed, and he loomed there, casting a shadow over Ryuu as he stood between her and the moonlit window.
“Ryuu,” he whispered, “can I hug you?”
His eyes remained locked on hers, and Ryuu’s breath echoed in her ears as she gazed back.
The question was sudden, wasn’t it?
He clutched his bag like it would disappear if he let go, his gaze growing heavier as the silence stiffened around them
The moon peeked out from over Bell’s shoulder at that moment, illuminating Ryuu’s face as she continued to stare at him simply. She registered somewhere in her brain that her jaw had gone a bit slack, and her lips had parted slightly as if she wanted to respond, though she hadn’t thought of any words to say.
Maybe it wasn’t sudden. Maybe the entire night had been foreshadowing this moment, and now Ryuu had to face it. Had to acknowledge that she had told him she was okay with being touched. That she was okay with being held, depending on who it was.
The leather strap made a sound as it was crushed under Bell’s grip. “Ryuu...” he said a bit louder.
If she said yes, he’d know it meant something to her.
The silence pressed down on her until the pressure finally squeezed words out.
“Why?” she heard herself say.
“Because I care about you,” he breathed, and he gave the softest hint of a smile. “And I thought it might feel good.”
After he spoke, it was silent again. But it wasn’t suffocating like before. It was expectant and heavy, with an undercurrent of something ready to catch fire. It forced them to stare at each other and acknowledge the gap between them.
Ryuu knew it was going to happen before he moved, but she could see Bell was trying to take it slow, like he was worried she might spook.
So she grew still.
She kept her arms at her sides, her eyes fixed upon his face as he closed the distance between them in one small step. His arms parted and reached forward, already beginning to wrap around her before she even felt his touch. They snaked around her back and pulled her close enough that she had to turn her head to the side and lay her ear against his chest, feeling him line up his body against hers.
His heart thumped away calmly as he settled into the embrace. Like an animal turning about before it finally lies in its bed.
When everything was still but for the sound in his chest, Ryuu began to count his heartbeats.
They were slow. Calm. And for the first five or so, Ryuu stood there, allowing it to happen. Her arms remained at her sides, her ears thudding to the beat of Bell’s heart.
She couldn’t hear the crickets in the grass, nor even her breathing. Just the thrum coming from his chest as it washed over her.
The quiet didn’t last long, however. Soon enough, her thoughts swam to the front of her mind, and she began to wonder why he hadn’t let go yet.
Right, her arms. She hadn’t done anything with her arms. Was he waiting for her to reciprocate?
That was fine. She could do that. She wanted to– almost.
She lifted them slowly, seeking purchase across the small of his back.
Surely this was sufficient, she thought to herself.
But 10 or 12 beats later, the confusion sank deeper. Was it normal to hold on for this long? Maybe something was wrong.
She tried to pull her head back to look into Bell’s eyes, but as soon as she moved, a firm hand slid up her back and gently clasped onto the back of her neck, holding her in place against his chest.
“Not yet.” He whispered into the darkness.
So she continued to count.
It was at the 20-second mark that the confusion gave way to something else. A feeling not necessarily foreign, but like a memory of something from long ago. Her body began to tingle, then light up when she felt Bell’s cheek press against the top of her head.
A sigh was pulled out of him slowly, and the warmth of his breath washed over her scalp, sending a small, electric wave down her spine. His head turned, and he pressed his nose into her hair, inhaling as he constricted his arms around her, pulling her in tight. Warmth flooded her body, and she shivered as it slithered from her chest out to the tips of her fingers and toes.
It felt like a shock, but soft and warm. It made her muscles tense and clutch at the back of his shirt as she turned her face into his chest, trying to bury herself there.
He smelled good, she thought, though the voice in her head sounded quiet. Soft. He smelled like fresh, wet dirt after rainfall. Her body seemed to float with the mysterious energy coming from within her, but the scent still grounded her. Held her conscience while everything else was lifted away.
The embrace felt like warm water washing over her skin, rolling goosebumps down her arms, and causing them to skitter up the back of her neck. It sounded like the thunder of a raging storm far off in the distance, muffled under the protection of a cozy shelter.
It was like… a high. Like something was coursing through her veins, causing her to vibrate from head to toe with a singular thought and feeling.
Safe.
Time passed as they held each other in her dusty, moonlit room. The lantern had flickered out, and the sewing kit still lay forgotten on the floor.
At some point, Bell had started rubbing his thumb across the nape of her neck. Firm yet gentle pressure kept her body against his, and his other hand began trailing fingers up and down the lower part of her spine.
Ryuu clenched and unclenched her fists, breathing slowly to pull in Bell’s woody scent, head spinning with each breath.
His lips moved against her hair, “You okay?”
Ryuu hummed quietly into his shirt.
There was a huff of laughter from above, then another long silence.
“Thank you,” he whispered.
“For what?” Her voice felt rough, like she’d forgotten how to use it.
Another quiet huff of laughter. “Letting me hold you.”
“Mmm,” she said. Unwilling to exert any more effort into her response.
“How does it feel?” he asked, a hint of hesitation permeating the air.
Ryuu smiled at the doubt in Bell's voice, but hid it in the fabric of his jacket before prying her face from its place on his heart and letting the hand on the back of her neck cradle her head.
“It was great,” was her very simple, very honest response.