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When Reki called him less than ten minutes ago, asking in a slightly panicked voice if Langa was busy and if he could come over, Langa had no idea what to expect when he turned up. But here Reki stood at his front door, eyes darting around nervously and sweating like he had just ran the entire way to Langa’s apartment. Which, judging by the short amount of time between Reki calling and showing up on Langa’s doorstep, was very likely.
“I’m sorry. I know I probably should have given you more notice before coming over but I just really needed to be with you.” Came Reki’s hurried explanation.
Langa stepped aside and allowed Reki to enter. “You don’t have to apologise, Reki. You can come here whenever you want.”
Reki flashed him an appreciative smile and followed Langa to his bedroom, setting his skateboard and bag down on the floor.
Truthfully, Langa was glad that Reki had invited himself over. Sundays were usually dull and after helping out with chores and catching up on homework, there was very little for him to actually do. Normally he would have just hung out with Reki and skated until nightfall, but Reki had been busy looking after his sisters. Which was why Langa was a bit surprised to see him here now, when it was already evening.
“Is everything okay?” Langa asked. “You seemed a bit stressed when you called earlier.”
“Oh yeah, don’t worry, man. I’m good.” Reki seemed distracted as he looked around Langa’s bedroom, his gaze flitting over the shisa figures and the clock he made for Langa.
Warmth stirred in Langa’s chest as he remembered the first time Reki had seen his bedroom, and how shocked he had been when he saw how bare it was, saying “I need to fix this immediately” and coming back with handmade gifts to decorate Langa’s room with. Since then, Reki had also provided him with various doodles and drawings that Langa had pinned on his walls. Reki even gave him a cute little yeti charm bracelet, his excuse being that he had been making bracelets with his sisters and they had insisted on making one for Langa. Langa knew better, of course, but hadn’t mentioned it. Regardless of Reki’s excuses, Langa refused to take it off ever since. In a way, all these gifts represented how much Langa’s life had changed since Reki had effectively barged into it and made himself at home. In that horrible period of time between his father’s passing and moving to Okinawa, Langa had felt so lost and empty, not even being able to find joy in the one thing he had been so passionate about. The days had passed by so slowly, and though his mother tried her best, she couldn’t really get through to him. The silence in their shared household had been so painfully loud.
Now, things were so much more different. Langa still missed his dad, of course. That would never go away. But he had a best friend (outside of his family) for the first time in his life. A best friend who shared everything with him, be it skating, or his mother’s homemade meals that Langa was, admittedly, a little obsessed with. The one thing Reki was less good at sharing though, was his feelings. When things were bothering him, he tended to keep his thoughts to himself until they either exploded out of him, or Langa had to drag it out of him. Based on the way Reki was acting today, looking both subdued and a little on edge, Langa had a feeling this was another one of those times.
“Do you want to skate for a bit?” Langa tried again. “We could probably get a couple of hours in before it gets too late.”
“Nah, it’s gonna rain soon so there’s not much point.” Reki shook his head. “We could watch a movie or something, instead?”
“Okay, sure.” Langa nodded.
He found Reki’s reasoning a bit strange. Even if it was going to rain, they could still squeeze in a bit of skating before it started. After all, it was just water. It wouldn’t exactly hurt if they got caught in it. Despite his confusion, Langa decided not to push further, figuring that if Reki was turning down an opportunity to skate with him then something must really be wrong.
He pulled out his laptop and passed it to Reki. “You can pick out what we’re watching and I’ll grab us some snacks.”
“I see where your priorities are,” Reki replied, smirking at him. “Have you got salted popcorn?”
Langa wrinkled his nose in disgust. First the salted toothpaste, and now salted popcorn. Reki had odd tastes at times. “Unfortunately, yes.”
“Dude, don’t give me that. You’ll eat almost anything.” Reki laughed, his eyes crinkling at the edges.
“Even I have standards, Reki.”
Reki just rolled his eyes affectionately at him and turned his attention to the laptop screen, leaving Langa to go and grab their popcorn. He filled two big bowls, making sure to pick out a yellow one for Reki so he didn’t accidentally get the salty and sweet flavours mixed up.
When Langa came back with their snacks, his heart flipped inside his chest at the sight before him. Reki had made himself comfortable and buried himself in Langa’s bedsheets, his spiky hair just peeking out from the covers. Langa took a deep breath and willed his heart to slow down. This was just…so unfair. Reki could be unbearably cute at times and he wasn’t even aware he was doing it. It was the little things, like the way he practically vibrated with excitement when he found a cool trick to show Langa, or how he would sometimes rub his nose when he laughed. Having to act normal, as though these things didn’t send Langa’s heart into a frenzy, was slowly driving Langa insane.
“You gonna just stand there, dude?” Reki asked, his voice laced with amusement as he pulled back the covers to make space for Langa.
Langa could feel his cheeks burning, having been caught staring. Luckily for him, Reki seemed to be none the wiser, although that did nothing to stop the sense of embarrassment stirring in his gut. He should be used to it by now, really. Considering how much time he and Reki had spent around each other ever since they became friends, he shouldn’t be getting caught off-guard by small things like Reki fucking burying himself Langa’s bedsheets.
Clearing his throat, Langa walked over to the bed and settled down next to Reki, willing his mind to calm down and stop thinking about dumb things like how cute his best friend is.
“Here’s your gross popcorn,” Langa said, holding out the bowl to Reki and frowning, like the snack had personally offended him.
“I’ve seen you eat ten burgers in one sitting. You have no room to talk about what is and isn’t gross.”
“It’s called intuitive eating. I was listening to my body.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Reki waved his hand in dismissal. “By the way, I told you so.”
“Huh?”
Reki gestured towards the window and Langa looked over to see that it had started pouring with rain. He had been so preoccupied with his thoughts that he hadn’t even noticed.
“Oh. I guess you were right to stay inside then.”
Langa turned back to face him and noted the familiar movie title on the screen. “You’ve seen this one so many times.”
“I just really like it, okay?” Reki sounded almost defensive, although his voice was light.
“It’s fine, I’m not saying we shouldn’t watch it. I was just surprised, that’s all.”
This was another red flag that raised Langa’s suspicions. First, how nervous Reki had seemed when he ran over to Langa’s place, Reki turning down an opportunity to skate, and now this movie. It was basically a comfort movie at this point— Langa had deduced that much, even if Reki had never explicitly said so. Something had to be bothering Reki and Langa couldn’t figure out what it was for the life of him. He could only hope that it wasn’t something serious.
“Okay.”
Reki still looked a bit unsure of himself so Langa offered him what he hoped was a reassuring smile and leaned over to press play.
They weren’t even five minutes into the movie when a bright flash of lightning had Reki flinching and accidentally spilling some of his popcorn onto the sheets. Suddenly it all made sense. Reki being so concerned about the fact it was going to rain, him rushing over at such short notice, the way he had been on edge ever since he arrived.
Reki was scared of storms.
It seemed so obvious now, in hindsight. Okinawa was no stranger to stormy weather and when Langa thought hard about it, Reki did tend to act a bit weird each time. How had he never noticed until now?
Turning to look at him, Langa said softly, “Hey, Reki. Are you okay?”
Reki kept his gaze fixed on the screen in front of him, his knuckles turning white as he twisted the bed covers in his hands. “Yeah, man. I’m fine.”
Until a loud clap of thunder reverberated through the air and Reki flinched again, pulling the bedsheets up higher, as though he wanted to hide underneath them. “Actually, no. I’m not.”
Langa’s heart was in his throat from seeing Reki like this. It wasn’t even was the first time Reki had been scared around him— the beach trip they took last year was a permanent fixture in Langa’s memory. But this felt different— Reki seemed so much more vulnerable. The atmosphere was much lighter on that trip, with Cherry and Miya both working together to make Reki jump out of his skin, but with just the two of them here in Langa’s room, the atmosphere felt too heavy to be making jokes.
Langa reached over to pause the movie. “You’re scared of thunderstorms, aren’t you?” he asked tentatively, worried that saying it out loud would make Reki close himself off.
Reki stayed quiet, bunching up the bedsheets in his hands, and for a moment Langa thought he wasn’t going to answer, until he finally gave a slow reluctant nod of his head.
“I know it’s stupid,” Reki said, his voice sounding small and scratchy like it did when he was ashamed of something. “I should be used to them by now but I can’t help it, Langa. They freak me out.”
“It’s not stupid, Reki.”
“It is though,” Reki insisted. “Even Nanaka and Chihiro aren’t scared. They start laughing when they hear thunder, for crying out loud.”
Langa sighed. He hated it when Reki was hard on himself. As much as Langa praised him and supported him unconditionally, sometimes it just didn’t get through to him. As though Langa’s words were simply too good to be true.
“I tried to eat a bee when I was a kid.”
“Dude, what?” Reki finally turned to look at him, his face twisted in a mixture of confusion and amusement.
“I was really little,” Langa added.
“Okay…?”
“My point is, kids aren’t exactly the best at judging danger and what we should and shouldn’t be scared of.” Okay, maybe Langa was going a little off topic here, but it had made perfect sense in his head before he opened his mouth. “It’s normal to be scared of things. Everyone is scared of something.”
Reki looked sceptical. “Even you? Mr ‘I used to outrun bears back in Canada?’”
Langa couldn’t help laughing at that. Every time Reki brought up Canada he made it sound like it wasn’t even a real place. Something that was so ordinary to Langa, yet far beyond Reki’s comprehension.
“Yes, even me.” Langa’s laughter died down and his voice softened as he gave it some thought. “Even if I don’t talk about it, there’s still things I’m scared of, Reki. I was scared when we moved here, about having to do school in Japanese when I could barely read or write in it. I was scared that moving here meant leaving my dad behind. That I’d start forgetting things about him, like what he smelt like or what his laugh sounded like. And now, sometimes I get scared of something bad happening to the people I care about the most, like you and my mom. I try not to dwell on it because it’s not something I can control, but trust me, it’s there.”
“Oh, Langa…” Reki whispered, his amber eyes looking so big and full of warmth as he reached out to squeeze Langa’s hand. “I’m sorry. I had no idea.”
Langa’s skin felt like it was burning where Reki was touching him, the feeling of Reki’s rough skin on his, adorned with calluses, scars and brightly coloured bandages, sending sparks coursing through his veins. He so badly wanted to look down at where their hands were connected, just so he could have the visual permanently etched in his brain, but he kept his gaze steadily fixed on Reki. This wasn’t the right time. He needed to be focused on making Reki feel better, not getting giddy over the fact that they were holding hands. Langa took a deep breath, willed his heart to slow down and prayed that his palms weren’t sweaty.
“Don’t be.” Langa shook his head, loose strands of hair falling into his eyes as he did so. “I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone in being scared. It’s perfectly normal.”
Reki smiled at him, small but still radiant, the embodiment of the sun even when he was feeling down and anxious. He let go of Langa’s hand and Langa almost pouted, until Reki reached out to tuck the stray strands of hair behind Langa’s ear, his hand lingering for just a fraction of a second too long.
Langa’s heart rate still hadn’t slowed down. If anything, it had only picked up its pace, hammering against his ribcage like it wanted to compete with the thunder outside. Although Langa had never been close with another person like this before, he wasn’t completely naïve. Regardless of how Reki was a naturally tactile person, Langa knew that most friends weren’t physically close like he and Reki were. It sparked a tiny flame of hope inside him that maybe, just maybe, Reki felt the same way he did and was just too scared to put it into words. All the lingering touches, the way Langa got to see the softest parts of Reki that he didn’t dare show to anyone else. Langa could only hope it meant something. That was another fear he had that he hadn’t mentioned to Reki— he had no idea what he’d do if he confessed and Reki rejected him. Would they be able to go back normal after something like that, or would Reki distance himself from Langa? The latter didn’t bear thinking about.
A bright flash of lightning and another roar of thunder had Reki flinching again, snapping Langa out of his reverie. Swallowing down his reservations, Langa opened his arms. “Reki, come here.”
Reki was in his arms in a heartbeat, burying his face in Langa’s chest and curling his fingers in the hem of Langa’s sweatshirt as their legs tangled together under the warmth of the bedsheets.
“You’re okay, Reki,” Langa murmured as he ran his hand up and down Reki’s back, soothing him as best as he could. “I’ve got you. I’ve always got you.”
Reki didn’t respond, but Langa could feel him cling even tighter so he continued with what he was doing, tracing patterns with his fingers along Reki’s spine as he whispered comforting words, hoping that he was saying the right thing. Doing the right thing. Langa had never been great with words, but Reki made him want to try. He had never had so much to say before Reki stumbled into his life and thawed those parts of him that had been closed off for so long. Now, when it was just him and Reki, Langa could talk enough for the two of them.
Langa wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, curled up in each other, but it was completely dark outside by the time Reki finally spoke.
“I’m really glad I met you, Langa.” Reki pulled back slightly to look up at him, his hair messy from being pressed up against Langa and a faint blush staining his cheeks.
Langa’s heart clenched and he found himself momentarily lost for words. It was too much—the way Reki was looking at him with such tenderness, reserved only for him. Langa’s chest ached with how much he loved Reki and he felt his resolve to keep a lid on his feelings crumbling away. He was so done with being quiet.
Reki was still staring at him through thick, curly lashes, and if Langa wasn’t mistaken, there was a hint of hope in his eyes too, as though he was waiting for something.
God, Langa really hoped he wasn’t mistaken.
He reached out and cupped Reki’s cheek, tracing his fingers along the the smattering of freckles that were sprinkled across Reki’s skin like constellations, along the tiny bump on the bridge of his nose from the time Reki bailed and landed directly on his face. Reki was so still under his touch, almost like he was afraid to move, afraid to breathe, watching Langa’s movements with bated breath.
Langa leaned in closer, until he could feel Reki’s exhales tickling his skin. “I’m really glad I met you too.”
It felt inevitable when their lips met, a culmination of what had been building between them for almost a year now. Every lingering touch, every stolen glance when they thought the other one wasn’t looking. And now, Langa was certain he wasn’t mistaken, because Reki was tangling his fingers in Langa’s hair and kissing him back, pulling him in even closer. As though they couldn’t ever get close enough to each other.
It was a little overwhelming, finally being able to show Reki how he felt. Each insistent press of their lips against each other made Langa’s heart swell and his head spin. And when Langa felt a little bold and sucked on Reki’s bottom lip, the muffled whimper Reki let out against his mouth nearly made his heart stop right there and then.
The effect Reki had on him was honestly a little terrifying. When Langa had heard people talk about being in love or read stories about it, he had always thought it was an exaggeration. The thought of feeling so consumed by one person was impossible for him to fathom. But here he was, dizzy and struggling to breathe because he could barely wrap his head around the fact that Kyan Reki was kissing him. The boy he had been longing to kiss for almost a year. The boy who had shown him the world.
It did eventually become too much—their combined body heat and the way Reki’s kisses left him breathless—and Langa had to pull away, panting softly in the space between them. Warmth flooded his chest as he took in Reki’s expression, relaxed and blissed out as he looked at Langa. Somehow, Langa had managed that. Langa had been the one to make him feel that way.
Neither of them spoke as they laid next to each other, drinking each other in, until Langa found himself drawn to Reki’s freckles again. He leaned back in, planting soft kisses all over Reki’s cheeks, attempting to kiss each one.
Reki started giggling, his nose scrunching up as Langa tickled his skin with feather-light kisses. “What are you doing?”
“Your freckles are beautiful,” Langa replied, trailing his fingers along Reki’s jaw. “You’re beautiful.”
If they weren’t so close together, Langa would have missed the way Reki squirmed in response, his socked feet rubbing against Langa’s ankles as his face turned a lovely shade of red.
“Langa,” Reki rasped out, lowering his gaze. He started fidgeting and reached out for the charm bracelet on Langa’s wrist, running his hands over the material. Langa was pretty sure that Reki wasn’t even aware that he was doing it half the time, but it made him unbelievably happy whenever Reki needed to distract himself with his hands and instantly reached out for Langa. Like Langa was a comfort that Reki naturally gravitated towards.
“I love you, Reki.” It left Langa’s lips in a rush, having been on the tip of his tongue for so long.
Reki’s hands stilled and his eyes widened, and as he looked back up at Langa a grin split across his face. “You love me?” he repeated, sounding almost disbelieving, but his grin never wavered.
“I do. I have done for a while now.”
Reki seemed to hesitate and Langa was about to tell him not to worry about saying it back, only for Reki to whisper shyly, “I love you too.”
And then it was Langa’s turn to grin, his smile stretching so wide that it made his cheeks ache. Reki actually loved him. He had spent countless nights lying awake in his bed, imagining what it would be like to hear those coveted words fall from Reki’s lips, and oh, it was even better than what his brain could have possibly come up with.
Overcome with a rush of emotion, Langa did the only thing he could think of and leaned in to kiss Reki again. Their kiss was slower this time and deeper, both of them wanting to take their time with each other. Langa’s hand rested on the softness of Reki’s waist where his hoodie had ridden up slightly and left his skin bare. Their bodies were pressed so closely together that Langa could feel the rise and fall of Reki’s chest with each little gasp that left his mouth. It was the strangest thing being this close to another person, being able to feel Reki’s breath against his skin, hearing the muffled noises Reki’s made at the back of his throat when Langa gently slid his tongue inside Reki’s mouth, being able to taste Reki. Fuck, it was intoxicating, even as Langa noted the faint taste of salted popcorn on Reki’s tongue.
Before he could stop himself, Langa started giggling, effectively breaking their kiss.
“What?” Reki asked, looking adorably confused as he caught his breath.
“You taste salty.”
Reki’s face turned an even deeper shade of red and he rubbed at his mouth self-consciously. “Uh, is that bad?”
“No,” Langa was quick to reassure him, “not if it’s you.”
“Oh my God,” Reki groaned, hiding his face in the crook of Langa’s neck. “Dude, you can’t just say things like that.”
“You’re the one who asked.”
“Langa.”
“Reki.”
Evidently sensing that this was a battle he was never going to win, Reki let out another groan against Langa’s neck, tickling his skin. If this was how things were going to be between them from now on, with Langa no longer having to hold back on his verbal affections, then he was more than okay with that.
Reki eventually peeled his face away from Langa’s neck and cast a nervous glance at the window, where the rain was still pelting down against the glass. “Hey, Langa?”
“Hm?”
“Could I maybe sleep over? Y’know, seeing as the storm still hasn’t stopped?” Reki sounded so painfully shy, as though Langa would even consider saying no. Truthfully, he would have been disappointed if Reki didn’t stay over. Then again, Langa supposed it made sense for Reki to be apprehensive about asking, considering the situation. They had slept over at each other’s houses so many times now, usually forgoing the guest futon and just sharing a bed, but that was before they had kissed and finally admitted that they have feelings for each other. Langa’s mind raced as he thought about how things would change for them now. He imagined spooning Reki from behind as they fell asleep and breathing in the fragrance of Reki’s strawberry-scented shampoo, instead of having to stick to their opposite sides of the bed. Or maybe Reki would hold him instead, and he would wake up to Reki snoring against his neck—
“You don’t have to say yes, I just thought—” Reki’s voice snapped him back to the present and Langa immediately felt guilty, having zoned out and completely ignored Reki’s question.
“Yes!” Langa said, maybe a little too enthusiastically judging by Reki’s startled expression. But then his face relaxed and he gave a small laugh, squeezing Langa’s arm affectionately.
“Thank you,” Reki said. “For today, just for everything, really. You made me feel a lot better.”
“You don’t have to thank me. I just wanted you to be okay.”
“I’m more than okay,” Reki replied, leaning in to kiss Langa again.