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It was difficult to have moments like this. Aether seemed open to it, but it was out of the norm for them, it felt like a large step out of Dewdrop’s comfort zone.
He’d found that seemed to be a little backwards to human’s society, his easiness with offering his body and his difficulty with offering his heart. None of the ghouls seemed to find that odd about him, even if a few were the complete opposite.
But when Dew stood with hands curled into the fabric of Aether’s shirt, head rested against the taller ghouls collarbone as their bodies swayed to a soft tune from the record player in the corner of the quintessence ghoul’s room, he felt so deeply out of place. The atmosphere so delicate, Dew was convinced if he even inhaled too abruptly he’d shatter everything.
This was not where the fire ghoul belonged. To get closeness, he had to fuck, hard. He didn’t do slow and gentle, he didn’t do loving caresses, that just wasn’t what he was meant to be offered. And maybe it was incredibly obvious, because Aether’s hand trailed up and down his spine in a comforting line, coaxing him closer by his waist with the opposite.
“You’re so beautiful.” Was murmured, and Dewdrop felt his muscles screw up. “So, so beautiful.” This compliment was paired with a kiss to his temple.
“Shut up.” Barbed, that was all Dewdrop knew how to be. Sharp and to the point.
“Why?” Aether pressed, as calm as ever.
“You’re being fucking annoying.” The smaller ghoul groused, volume only just above a mutter. And shit, he knew he would shatter it, because Aether deflated. The swaying stopped and he dropped his arms.
“We’re not going to do this if you’re going to be an asshole about it.” The quintessence ghoul bristled. “It’s just a compliment.”
“You’re saying it because it sounds good, not because it’s true.” Dewdrop twisted his mouth into a scowl as he crossed his arms, looking up to see thick brows drawn together.
“That’s how you really think of me?” And Lucifer, he had not been expecting such a response from Aether.
“No, that’s not- don’t put words in my mouth.” The smaller ghoul replied, his defensive attitude clear in his posture.
“You said it. You said I’m lying to you because it sounds good. That’s the kind of person you see me as?” Aether asked, putting a step between them to give them much needed space to finish this conversation. Dew had never felt so cold in his entire life.
“You don’t think I’m beautiful.” Came his counter with a harsh roll of his eyes, shoulders pulled up closer to his ears now.
“Don’t tell me what I think. I told you exactly what I think, and you called me a liar.” Fuck. Shit. Had he actually hurt the ghoul’s feelings? It sure sounded like it. “I just told you how I’m feeling and you just- you just told me to shut up.”
There were many things that the fire ghoul hated with a burning passion, but being accidentally in the wrong ranked pretty high on that list. The perspective had never crossed his mind, maybe given that any time he felt soft enough give Aether a heartfelt compliment, it had been accepted graciously. He doesn’t know quite how he’d react if he’d opened up only to be snapped at, and he really didn’t know how to back down either.
“That isn’t what I meant, Aeth.” Dewdrop argued back, fruitlessly of course, because it was weak even to his own ears.
“It doesn’t matter what you meant, you said shut up and you said I wasn’t being truthful.” This was not what he’d wanted, but this was, in all honesty, almost exactly how the fire ghoul expected things would go. Fucking poorly.
“I just meant I’m not good at hearing that shit.” Dew replied, tone still firm as if he had any high horse to be on. He was on a miniature fucking pony at this point.
“That doesn’t mean you can say shitty things to me, say what you actually mean and we can talk about it. You don’t get the right to belittle my feelings just because you’re feeling sorry for yourself.” Aether was less calm now, but he wasn’t shouting. Not that it would change how sharply that statement had hit him like a slap to the face. Which was probably exactly what he needed, and probably why the quintessence ghoul was so blunt.
The silence stretched until Dewdrop could force his mouth to budge and spill the words out. “I’m sorry.”
“I know.” Aether sighed.
“I just didn’t think about it like that.” The fire ghoul offered dumbly and at a complete loss for how to explain it.
“I know, Dew.” Aether’s hand scrubbed across his own face as Dew tore up the insides of his cheeks with sharp fangs.
“I’m sure you do think I’m beautiful.” Dewdrop tried.
He was met with silence.
“That was pretty selfish of me, huh?” This time, a strained smile graced Aether’s face in response. “Can we keep dancing? I’ll be nice.”
“Just keep it in mind next time, alright?” Aether replied as he stepped up to curl his arms around Dewdrops waist, as the shorter ghoul pressed into his chest and drew his arms up around the broad shoulders. Nodding into the warmth of his torso.
Once again quiet, but not nearly as peaceful as it had been before. He’d have to fix it himself, he knew that, he couldn’t put his fuck up on Aether to tidy up. And it took a lot of brainstorming as they danced stiffly, and he had to be thankful Aether knew him well enough to understand the grandness of this gesture, that the importance and apology wouldn’t be lost on his partner.
“I love you.” There was a long pause before Dewdrop was hugged so very tightly around the waist and hoisted up until he had to cling on to the other ghoul with his legs.
“I love you.” Aether parroted, face now shoved into the crook of Dewdrops neck. The words filled him with a warmth that was almost painfully uncomfortable, new and foreign feelings that he’d yet to get a grip on, but instead of his usual irritated responses he took a minute. He knew how hard it was for himself to express that, and he knew that taking that vulnerability for granted was a line Aether was no longer willing to let him cross.
“Thank you.” The fire ghoul replied, lips pressed to Aether’s head.