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The constant hum of the plane and the small chatter are what wakes him up. His eyelids lift slightly, feeling the brightness of the room dilate his pupils. Lena's embrace is a positive addition to his comfort and Huey lets himself be soothed by her rustling feathers on his head.
They haven't known each other for very long. They never hung out one on one and they never had reason to, always orbiting around Webby's plans. Still, Huey digs himself deeper into her warmth, lulled by her gestures and cologne.
"Didn't think the Duke drained the energy out of you this much, huh?" Lena says with continuous strokes. Huey groans and pokes his head out at her inquisitive gaze.
"I can't help it. The Duke can be a lot." He replies and shoots her his pleading puppy eyes. Lena rolls hers in response and tightens her hold against him. Huey smiles then looks elsewhere.
"It's just... I.." He tries to explain. He wants to say it without delving into his life before Scrooge but the loaded reason sits at the back of his throat. For the longest time, Huey puts upon himself to figure out his family's basic needs. He meticulously runs through all the possible outcomes and he extrapolates a checklist of things that avoid those outcomes. He makes sure to note every possible need for Dewey, Louie, and Uncle Donald, and he delivers more than a 100% of what he was asked to be. Being the eldest is a tough job. No one exactly imposed the role on him but he shoulders on the role nonetheless.
It always feels like he doesn't have a moment to himself. Whatever intense feelings he's had, he just reposits them into the deepest layer of his mind and locks it, hidden away from his conscious life. It doesn't always work, as he's had outbursts on some occasions, but it's a system he's familiar with. He doesn't know any other system that works for him.
Familiar patterns are hard to break after all.
It only takes one look from Lena for her to say, "Yea... It is a lot." No long winded explanations or graphs or charts or checklists. Nothing. Just a look is all that took for Lena. And at that moment, Huey releases a long sigh he doesn't realize he's been holding.
His head falls on her chest and she resumes her movements. His eyes idly wander about the plane. It's already second nature for him, having the experience of hovering over Dewey and Louie every time Donald leaves for work and there's no babysitter to pester them to obedience. He'd gone along with whatever scheme they've pulled because, hey, they're kids and they all want to explore outside the little boat. As the eldest, however, he always made sure he's packed enough emergency supplies for their spontaneous excursions.
At the present time, Dewey and Webby and Violet are all huddling around discussing something while Louie sits beside them, fast asleep. Unlike all their past excursions pre-Scrooge, these adventures have a plane, more supplies, and more watchful eyes... More adults around to supervise them...
The family is forever growing and sometimes, it's hard to tell what he's meant for in it nowadays.
"Does it get any better..?" He asks. Lena sighs, keeping her gaze forward.
"I guess.. there are days that were so horrible I spent most of the day in bed and there were days that were just "meh" enough for me to go through the motions." It's not the answer he expects, but-
"It's more manageable, you mean..?" Lena affirms his statement with a nod.
"Something like that." She adds.
"It doesn't feel like I recognize my own self.. or, maybe it's not that it's a new self, it's just.. different." Like he was rewired with a new set of programming that he will familiarize. It's not just a "must" but a "will", because there is a certainty he cannot fathom, as though there are steps he has yet to take in order to reach that cusp.
He has an idea of what the blueprint looks like but the details are still foggy.
"It takes time." She says, "You'll get the hang of it."
Right. Time. Patience. Practice. Learning.
"But don't forget to be gentle with yourself, Huey." Lena continues while focusing her gaze on him, "Give yourself the space to make mistakes."
Huey opens his mouth and for a moment of waiting for something to come out, closes it. She's right. He thinks and pictures himself in a canoe among the vast ocean of the unknown. He thinks he's getting better, having to navigate through still waters to harsh winds and strong tides. He's fallen for sure and he forgets for a moment that this is just that. A moment in time. A moment to learn from. The lesson is already written but the muscle memory for it still takes practice.
"Okay." Huey says at last and Lena smiles.
"Don't get used to this, Red. It's only for today." He doesn't know how he knows but it's a lie.
He plays along anyway.
"Yea, okay, only for today. Got it."