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“No.”
“But it is just…”
“Charlie, no.” His voice growing more terse.
“They were on sale at the Farmer’s Market. I was going to make pie later on.”
Adam stood up and walked to the doorway connecting the kitchen to the living room. His robe open and he hadn’t bothered with pajama bottoms that morning. “I can smell them, Charlie. Those are not pumpkins for eating. They’re pumpkins for….” His lips curled up into a sneer. “…carving.”
Charlie’s chin dropped towards her chest, her brown curls sadly bouncing. “I didn’t think you could tell the difference.”
Adam rolled his eyes, but only because her head faced the floor. “Well, it’s another note to add to your Adam notebook.” He stood there, watching her. Charlie’s eyes staring at the swirls of dirt and dust obscuring the pattern of the worn linoleum of their shared kitchen. His resolve and anger quickly melting away.
“I’ll give them away at the hospital on my next shift.” she commented, her voice hardly louder than a whisper. “I’m sure they can go to someone who gets to celebrate the holidays.” She shook her head from side to side as she spat out the words.
Of everything they had ever argued about, and at this point Adam had lost count of the number of things, nothing had left a sore spot with Charlie as much as Adam’s utter and bitter hatred for Halloween.
“It’s a bastardization of All Hallows Eve in order for the capitalist machine called the American economy to eek out more money for the consumers.” he countered the first time they argued over it. Back in July, when Charlie first brought up the idea of decorating.
“So what?! Maybe I don’t mind that! Maybe I enjoy the one day of the year where I got to pretend to be someone else?! Anyone else besides who I was. It was a night of escape and fantasy, Adam. Of magic.” She plopped down in the chair not too far from him that evening. “Why can’t I have that?”
He sighed, holding his head in his hands. Something Adam found himself doing on a more and more frequent basis since he met Charlie. “Because you don’t need it anymore.”
“HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT I NEED?!” Charlie yelled, only to regret it as Adam stood and walked into the bedroom, taking his beloved Gibson with him, without another word. She quietly slipped into bed that night and Adam pulled her close against him without another word.
Now every time she even mentioned “October” or the “holiday season”, he would leave the room, sometimes slamming doors, but usually not. Charlie did her best to chalk it up to Adam’s “moodiness”, his demeanor. But she knew it was something else. And she didn’t dare ask.
She sighed. “They will be gone by tomorrow, Adam. And until then, I will put them outside, okay?”
He gave a brief nod. Charlie walked towards him and gave his lips a peck. “Now, when is the last time you had a hot meal?” She pulled him towards the couch with a laugh.
-
Charlie snored softly next to Adam as he slipped out of the covers and made his way to the spare bedroom. He sat at the end of the bed, balancing Charlie’s laptop on his knees, while he logged onto Zoom. A familiar face popped onto the screen after he spent about twenty minutes fiddling and curing.
“Adam.” Simone’s pleasant tone rang out. “It’s been too long since we spoke. Is everything okay with Charlie? The nightmares?”
Adam frowned. “About twice a month, unless she pulls double shifts at the hospital and then every night until she gets proper sleep. I believe you call it ‘self-care’.” He rolled his eyes at the last bit.
“I didn’t exactly coin the term, Adam.” Her lips pulled into a thin smile. “This isn’t about Charlie. At least not entirely, is it?”
“No.”
He watched as Simone pulled out a calendar and flipped the page. “Oh, I see.” Her shoulders slumped, and she takes a deep breath. “Adam, sometimes a pumpkin is just a pumpkin.”
He nodded, his face twisting in pain. “I know that, but…” his voice trailed off and he looked away.
Simone tucked a strand of auburn hair behind her ear. “Tell me about your first Samhain together.”
Adam’s head snapped towards the screen, his eyes flashed for a moment and then he slumped to his side. “It was about four months after we met…”
-
Charlie woke up the next evening to find Adam gone. She checked the spare bedroom and then the living room. She heard something hit the kitchen table and she walked in to find Adam’s back hunched as he worked on something. A smile creeped over her face.
“Are you tinkering with the microwave again, darling? Because I don’t want to have to buy…” She walked in front of him and stopped speaking as he set down the kitchen knife.
Adam spun the pumpkin around to reveal a crude jack-o’-lantern face carved into the pumpkin. He twisted his hands on top of the table. “My artistic talents lie elsewhere.” He responded softly.
Charlie smiled as she sat down and took his hand, squeezing it. “You didn’t have to do this. I was willing to—”
“—Halloween reminds me of Eve.” he blurted out. “Particularly jack-o’-lanterns. And pumpkins.”
She swallowed hard. “I’m sorry.”
He ran his thumb over her knuckles. “Don’t be. I should have told you, instead of ignoring it.” He exhaled sharply.
Charlie smirked at him. “Perhaps you could tell me about it and we could incorporate some of it around the house?” She raised a brow. “Unless Simone already suggested that.”
Adam’s eyes grew wide. “How did you…?”
“You never say you are ignoring your feelings, you just say you don’t have them.” She stood and went to make her evening coffee. “Have you eaten?” Her hand poised on the freezer door handle.
“Not yet, I was busy ensuring I didn’t chop off a finger.” He moved to grab a cordial glass from the cabinet.
Charlie took his hands and counted all ten fingers. “All accounted for.” She laced her fingers with his, pulling him close, wrapping her arms around him. “Love you.”
He leaned down and inhaled Charlie’s scent, her bay rum soap still lingering from her shower the night before. “I love you more.”