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Neil Watts was thirteen years old when he learned that he was going to die. He was sick, terminally so, an inheritor of the illness that killed his mother. Any day could be his last, and anyone he dared get close to would be left to deal with the aftermath.
So, he distanced himself. It wasn’t hard. He took a seat in the back of the classroom, ate lunch in the library or under the football bleachers. Whenever someone tried to get past the walls he’d so painstakingly built up, a few words were more than enough to drive them off. He was alone, and it was better that way. He couldn’t think of anyone who could make him drop the act, who’d be able to convince him it was better to love even with the promise of pain.
That was before he met Eva Rosalene.
It was the first day of his freshman year of high school. Earlier that morning he’d had a doctor’s appointment which had been no different than the ones since his diagnosis. Yes, it was terminal. No, they had no idea when it would decide to kick his health into a steep decline. He arrived at his first class exhausted and irritated, sinking into a desk at the back of the room.
He just needed five minutes, he mused as he fished a notebook out of his overstuffed backpack. Though maybe it would be better if he continued to look ticked off. It was less likely anyone would try to get too close-
“Is this seat taken?”
Neil flinched, jerking his head up. Standing by the desk to his right was a girl he didn’t recognize, probably because she had gone to one of the other feeder middle schools. Her long black hair was pulled back in a messy bun, and a pink hoodie was tied around her waist.
“What?” he managed.
“Is this seat taken?” she repeated.
“Uh… not that I know of.”
“Great!” She dropped her bag on the floor next to the desk before sliding into her seat. She outstretched a hand to him. “I’m Eva, by the way. Eva Rosalene.”
Neil hesitated. He hadn’t expected anyone to sit next to him, much less introduce themselves. After a moment, he shook her hand. “Neil Watts.”
“Nice to meet you, Neil.”
He didn’t respond, pretending to busy himself with writing the topic for today’s lesson at the top of the page. Eva didn’t seem bothered by his silence, and for that, he was grateful. There was something about her… He just couldn’t find it in himself to drive her away like he had all the others.
His head hurt enough that he elected not to dwell on it, pushing it to the back of his mind as the teacher began to explain what they’d be covering in class this year. He’d figure out what made her special some other time. Right now, he needed to focus.
Neil managed to avoid talking to her through the rest of class, thankful that the teacher seemed incapable of shutting up, and was out the door before Eva had a chance to ask him anything else. Luckily, they didn’t appear to have second block together, and so he was able to make it to lunch without incident.
He had gone through the lunch line and was on his way to the library when they ran into each other again. Literally this time. Neil barely managed to prevent his lunch from spilling all over her, however, the bottle of water that had been precariously balanced across his tray fell to the ground and burst, spraying water all over both of their shoes.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!”
“Eh, I wasn’t that thirsty anyway.” Carefully, Neil set his lunch tray down on the floor and began mopping up the puddle with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. He was mostly unsuccessful.
Eva disappeared and returned moments later with a handful of paper towels, dropping to her knees next to him and doing her best to help. It took a few minutes, but they managed to reduce the spill from “safety hazard” to “slightly less of a safety hazard but hey, it was unlikely anyone would slip and fall now”.
“You’re Neil, right?” she asked, steadying him as he stood, lunch tray in hand. “I’m really sorry about that.”
“Don’t worry about it, really. It’s fine.”
“At least let me make it up to you.” Eva fished around in her backpack before pulling out what he assumed was her wallet. “I’ll buy you a new water.”
“You don’t have to-”
“I insist.”
It didn’t seem like he was getting out of this one. Neil nodded and followed Eva back down the hallway to the lunchroom. She dropped her bag off at one of the open tables and motioned for him to stay put before heading in the direction of the lunch line. Sighing, Neil sunk into the chair across from her stuff, taking a bite out of his subpar cafeteria hamburger.
Well, subpar was putting it nicely. It tasted like grease, and the texture was just rubbery enough that he had to wonder if there was actual rubber in it. Surprisingly, this was not the worst hamburger he’d ever had.
It wasn’t long before Eva returned, water bottle in hand. She slid it across the table and pulled her own lunch out of her backpack, some sort of noodle and vegetable concoction with an oil-based sauce.
“Your mom pack your lunch?” Neil asked through a mouthful of not-quite-meat.
“I’ll have you know that I made this myself, thank you.”
“Hmm.” He lifted a soggy fry from his tray and drowned it in ketchup in an attempt to make it palatable. “Looks pretty good.”
Eva’s eyes flicked up, letting the fork piled with noodles lower from her mouth. “I’d say the same about yours, but-”
“Words can’t describe it, I know.”
The corner of Eva’s mouth quirked. “That’s not quite what I was going to say, but I don’t disagree.”
They sat in silence for a while, the absence of sound somehow even more deafening that the clamor of the cafeteria. When Eva finally spoke again, it was hesitant.
“So, um… how’s your day been so far?”
“Oh, y’know.” Neil shrugged. “Uneventful.” Save for basically his entire morning, but she didn’t need to know that.
“Cool.” She poked at her pasta with her fork. “Same here, really.”
Another bout of silence, this one longer and much more awkward. Neil shifted in his seat, wondering if it would be rude to just get up and leave and then wondering why he was worried about that.
“What does your schedule look like for the rest of the day?” Eva asked.
“I’m not really sure. Biology with Roberts, I think.”
“What hour?”
“Fifth.”
“Oh. I have biology seventh.”
“Ah.”
Neil wasn’t sure if it was divine intervention or simple luck, but at that moment, one of the administrators picked up a microphone and, after an earsplitting amount of static feedback, began to drone on about lunchroom cleanup and exit procedures. He took the opportunity to shove the last of his damp fries into his mouth and pointedly not look at Eva. He felt her gaze study him but elected not to acknowledge it.
The moment the administrator finished speaking, Neil bolted from his seat to head to his next class. It was then that he had an epiphany. If Eva was so insistent on trying to get close to him, then he’d have to avoid her entirely. She’d avoid any of the pain that would come with knowing about the disease looming over him. Neil wasn’t sure why he felt a pang of regret at the thought, but he pushed it aside regardless.
This would be better in the long run, for both of them. He was sure of it.
- - - - - - - - - - - -
Neil’s plan worked for all of three days before Eva confronted him. He was in the school library, flipping through a book on neuroscience he’d borrowed when she slid into the chair across from him, frustration clearly painted on her face.
“Are you mad at me?” she asked.
He had not expected her to cut right to the chase. Slowly, he marked his page and closed the book, trying to come up with an answer that would not immediately get him into more trouble with her. That thought, however, made him come up short.
Why was he so worried about her feelings, anyway?
“What makes you think that?” he replied, thankful that his glasses made his expression harder to read.
“We share almost every class and lunch and despite the fact that we sit next to each other, you refuse to talk to me. Did I do something wrong?”
“No…”
“Then what is it? I thought we were friends, or at least on the way to becoming them.”
“Why?”
Eva stared at him like he’d spontaneously grown another head. “What?”
“Why would you want to be friends with me? I mean…” Neil gestured vaguely around the library. “I’ve been a pretty crappy candidate these past few days. Why even bother with me?”
“You were trying to drive me off?”
“Well… yeah.” He adjusted his glasses, mostly just to give his hands something to do. “I don’t need friends, and it’ll be better for you if you just stay away.”
Eva’s brow furrowed and she stuck her finger in his face. “Don’t give me any of that self-sacrificial martyr crap. And don’t make that decision for me. You seem like a nice guy, the whole ‘avoiding me’ thing aside. Believe it or not, I actually like you.”
“A terrible decision, really.”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re insufferable.”
“I try to be.”
“Really, though.” Eva brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “I just moved here a few weeks ago, and, um… you’re the only person I think I’ve actually felt a connection with. I don’t want to sound shallow, but-”
“There’s something about the others that makes you feel like you don’t belong with them.” Neil hesitated a moment before adding, “It’s like you’re a star overlooking a field of lavender.”
Eva tilted her head thoughtfully. “I don’t think I’ve heard that one before.”
“It’s… something my mom used to say.”
It was the barest hint of personal information, and Neil hoped Eva didn’t press the subject. Thankfully, she didn’t. “I like that.”
Neil took a deep breath. Was he really doing this? Was he about to make an exception to his one rule since his diagnosis for a girl he’d just met? But she’s different, his brain argued. Some outside force of destiny seemed to be forcing them together, though for what end he was pretty sure he’d never know.
“I… might be willing to give this ‘friends’ thing a try. If you’ll still have me, that is.”
Eva looked at him for a long moment, then offered him her hand. “Let’s start over. I’m Eva Rosalene, what’s your name?”
“Neil Watts. It’s a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance.”
“Likewise.”
They shook hands, and some part of Neil that he hadn’t realized was tense relaxed. It had been a while since he’d had a friend. He was still worried about what came next, but maybe he could leave that anxiety behind, just for a while, and live in the moment. Perhaps having a friend wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all-
He was shaken from his thoughts as the bell rang, both of them flinching slightly. Neil shoved his neuroscience book into his bag and slung it over his shoulder. “So… what class are you headed to?”
She grimaced. “Gym. You?”
“Same. Ready to go suffer through the horrors of government-mandated physical education together?”
“I think I have to be.”
Neil bowed, sweeping his arms towards the door. “After you.”
Eva rolled her eyes again, but Neil could see the smile pulling at her lips. She exited the library on her way to the gym, Neil jogging slightly to catch up with her as she entered the hallway.
He had the feeling that maybe, just maybe, this was going to be the start of a beautiful friendship.