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“I got her,” Emily whispered as Aaron groggily sat up in bed as the crackled wailing echoed over the baby monitor. He had just gotten home less than an hour ago from a horrific case in Wyoming. The sort of case that made them question their vocation in life, that made them wonder if humanity would ever stop trying to find new ways to inflict suffering onto one another. She knew that as much as Aaron wanted to get up and tend to Baby Danielle, he was both physically and mentally exhausted and needed to rest.
Emily scooped the whimpering baby girl into her arms. She had only fed her a few hours ago and Emily quickly changed her diaper and settled down into the exquisitely carved rocking chair that Rossi had insisted on buying her and Aaron when they decorated the nursery. After a few rocks, the whimpering stopped and Danielle drifted back to sleep. Emily rocked her for a few more moments before she placed the baby back into her crib. As Emily straightened up, a movement at the doorway caught her attention. She expected it to be Aaron so when she spotted little bare feet and dinosaur pattern pajama bottoms, she was pleasantly surprised. And concerned. Jack being awake and seeking out either her or Aaron in the middle of the night usually meant just one thing.
“Jack, are you alright?” Emily asked as Jack rubbed his eyes.
“I had a bad dream,” Jack whispered and Emily crossed the room and picked him up. Jack latched onto her and she carried him back towards the rocking chair, settling onto the seat and placing Jack onto her lap.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Emily asked as Jack shrugged.
“There were bad guys chasing me and I shouted for you and daddy but you didn’t come. You were too busy with Danielle so the bad guys said you didn’t love me anymore.” Jack explained and wiped his eyes. He understood that because Danielle was still so little, she needed a lot of help and care but what if the bad guys in his dream were telling the truth? After all, Emily was Danielle’s real mommy.
“Oh Jack, of course we love you.” Emily reassured as she kissed his forehead. “Even though we love Danielle too, that doesn’t mean that your dad and I love you any less. Danielle loves you too.”
“She can’t talk, how do you know?” Jack asked and Emily smiled fondly at his quick wit, something she knew that he had inherited from both of his parents.
“She might not talk but she knows who we are and that we love her. When she is on her tummy or in her cot, she knows your voice and wriggles when she hears you. She also takes your finger, doesn’t she? That’s her way of talking to you.” Emily explained. She had been watching Danielle and Jack carefully over the last five weeks and it was clear to her that Danielle adored Jack just as much as he loved her. She could recognise and acknowledge their voices but others, even the team’s or Jessica’s, were still slightly unfamiliar.
“But you love her more than me, because she’s your baby, I’m not.” Jack commented with all the blunt honesty of an almost-five year old. For a moment, Emily felt her heart break before she tightened her hold on Jack. She knew this conversation had been coming. Aaron had reassured Jack several times before Danielle was born that he and Emily would love him just as much but those final two words were like a knife in the heart.
It was a difficult line to thread; she never wanted Jack to feel like she was replacing Haley but she also didn’t want to deprive him of the love and care that he deserved. She loved Jack as if he were her own but there were certain things, like this, which reinforced the fact that his mother was gone. It had been easy to reassure Jack when Aaron proposed that when they got married, she wouldn’t become a wicked stepmother like in the fairy tales. She wouldn’t feed him poisoned apples or make him sleep in the cinders or leave him in the woods to be lured to a witch’s sweet-covered cottage. This was different.
“I could never love her more than you,” Emily reassured Jack as she stroked his hair. “Yes, she is my baby but you’re my Jack, you’re part of our family too. You might not be my son by blood but that doesn’t matter, blood doesn’t make someone family. I love you. I love you just as much as I love Danielle and so does your Daddy and that’s never going to change and I never, ever want you to think that I love you any less, because it’s not true. You and Danielle are the two people I love most of all in the world. Joint first.”
“What about Daddy?” Jack asked and Emily smiled wryly.
“He’s somewhere on that list. Maybe in the top five. But definitely in the top ten.” Emily quipped and Jack giggled.
“You’re silly Emily.” Jack giggled before he yawned.
“And you’re ready to go back to bed.” Emily said as Jack latched his arms around her neck and she awkwardly stood up. “Do you want to go back to your bed or sleep in mine and your daddy’s bed?”
“Your bed,” Jack mumbled as he rested his head on her shoulder. “I love you Em’ly.”
“I love you too,” Emily said sincerely as she kissed the top of his forehead. She look a last look at Danielle who was sleeping soundly, her little lips still sucking on her pacifier, before she carried Jack out of the nursery and back towards her and Aaron’s room.
Aaron was still lying asleep in bed, one hand stretched across the empty half of the mattress, seeking Emily out in sleep. Emily set Jack under the duvet and half-asleep, he burrowed into Aaron’s side and drifted off. Emily climbed into bed and stroked Jack’s hair to sooth him into sleep.
“Everything alright?” Aaron asked sleepily, without opening his eyes. His hand curled up around Jack’s back, cuddling him close. Emily smiled at her two sleepy Hotchner boys and the thought of her sleeping Hotchner girl just a few feet away in the nursery and she kissed both of her sleepy Hotchner boys on the forehead and nestled back under the covers. Danielle would be awake in a few hours for another feed, after all.
“Everything’s perfect,” Emily replied as she tried to fall back asleep too.