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Yeosang nervously plays with his thumbs as he sits at the corner of the dance studio. His eyes are on Wooyoung, who is standing there. The music to a familiar song plays. This is a song Wooyoung knew the choreography to like the back of his hand and yet he is unable to move. Yeosang looks at his best friend nervously, he is chewing on his bottom lip.
“Wo— ”
“I can’t, sorry,” Wooyoung whispers before turning away and running out of the studio leaving Yeosang on his own.
Yeosang stands up to go after him but stops himself. He takes a deep breath and tells himself to keep calm. Yeosang turns the music off and sighs. He wonders when things went downhill.
Yes, it was after a competition. Wooyoung was in his best form that day, excited and ready to take a win. Yeosang knew he couldn’t even compare to Wooyoung skills but did his best and he was happy with himself. He watched from backstage, feeling nervous excitement for his best friend. However, instead of Wooyoung gracefully taking the stage and moving as if gravity didn’t exist, Wooyoung collapses. The audience gasps and they all look at each other. His parents look worried and stand up but the first person to get to Wooyoung was Yeosang.
Wooyoung had looked so scared and broken. He tries to speak but he is unable to put a sentence together. Something inside Wooyoung broke that day and he was unable to dance.
Things only got worse after that.
Wooyoung who was friendly and cheerful was now quiet and kept to himself. He barely spoke and always had his head down. He still attended all his lectures at their uni but he barely participated in anything. He didn’t contribute during discussions and he didn’t stick around to hang around with other students.
Yeosang stuck with Wooyoung through it all.
Yeosang talked to Wooyoung like normal and just treated him the same. He would still make his silly dad jokes but instead of Wooyoung’s cheerful laugh, he would get a tired smile. Yoesang would ask him to play video games with him and instead of their usual banter, Wooyoung would play quietly and just try to not get in Yeosang’s way.
Yeosang would talk to him about their shared lectures and Wooyoung would just nod and share his notes so they can compare, and fill in any blanks they had based on the other’s notes.
Yeosang also still invited Wooyoung into the studio. He would reject the offer but Yeosang would say he wanted someone to watch him and correct any mistakes he was making.
It was s slow start. Wooyoung sat in a corner and just watched Yeosang at first. Then a few more sessions later Wooyoung pointed some things out and Yeosang took his advice with a bright smile on his face. Slowly, Wooyoung got more involved and pointed more things out to Yeosang and even made suggestions to change some details of his choreography to make it better.
Yeosang notices the small changes and even sees Wooyoung tapping along to the beat of the song. He thinks that he is about to have a breakthrough but he was wrong.
Now Yeosang was standing alone in the studio feeling awful. He shouldn't have pushed Wooyoung. He knew that Wooyoung was suffering. There was immense pressure on him as he was one of the best and he was taking it well, he always had a wide smile. Yeosang is angry at himself for not realising that cracks were showing and that Wooyoung was feeling burdened. Dancing was something Wooyoung loved from deep within his heart and it was only supposed to bring him joy. Yeosang regrets, he regrets a lot.
He packs up his things and leaves.
Yeosang hopes that Wooyoung has gone back to their shared flat. He makes a mental note to apologise to Wooyoung when he gets home. Yeosang decides to take a long way home to try and avoid confronting Wooyoung too quickly and he also wanted time to think about exactly what he wants to say to his best friend. He doesn’t want to hurt Wooyoung more.
When he gets home, Wooyoung isn’t there. Yeosang panics as he pulls his phone out and tries to call him but he doesn’t pick up. Yeosang texts him asking him where he is but Yeosang doesn’t get a response. He calls Seonghwa as Wooyoung often went to Seonghwa for comfort but Seonghwa says he hasn't seen Wooyoung today. He then calls Yunho but Yunho also says he hadn’t seen Wooyoung.
Yeosang is getting ready to go back out to find Wooyoung when the front door opens.
“Wooyoung!”
Wooyoung looks at Yeosang in surprise.
“I thought you would be asleep,” Wooyoung says simply as if he hadn’t just gotten up and disappeared.
“Where have you been? I was worried!”
Woooyoung looks up at Yeosang in surprise.
“Sorry…I just needed a walk” Wooyoung says and looks away.
“It’s fine, as long as you are safe” Yeosang says as he sighs in relief and takes one of Woooyoung’s hands and leads him into their flat.
“I’m sorry I pushed you too hard,” Yeosang says softly once they are both sitting on the sofa.
“It’s okay…I know you’re only trying to help,” Wooyoung responds just as softly and squeezes his hand. “I’m happy to just watch you dance,” Wooyoung adds and smiles at Yeosang.
“But I want us to dance together,” Yeosang says as he looks away from Wooyoung.
“I do too but I just…” Wooyoung trails off.
Yeosang understands that this is the hardest on Wooyoung. Suddenly coming down with a serious case of stage fright and not being able to move the way he loved to is probably tearing him apart but Wooyoung was such a good person that he always smiled and supported Yeosang instead. Yeosang never told Wooyoung that he can see his pain though. He was aware of how Wooyoung’s smile never reaches his eyes these days and how he looked sadly at Yeosang dancing when he thought Yeosang wasn’t looking.
“We will figure it out,” Yeosang says with determination and Wooyoung looks at him with wide eyes.
Their answer comes in the form of one Choi San.
He is different.
His moves are sharp as he hits every beat of the music and makes every move look easy. When he joined their dance studio, everyone was talking about him. Yunho was his friend so Yeosang and Wooyoung naturally became friends with him.
San was friendly, a little shy at first but no one could hate him. There was something about him that just drew everyone in.
Yeosang sees Wooyoung watch San with interest and he feels like Wooyoung is analysing the way San moves. Yeosang also recognised the small spark in Wooyoung’s eyes. Something was changing in him, and Yeosang couldn’t help but feel a little excited. Something Wooyoung had claimed had died seems to be coming back and San seems to be the answer. Yeosang pushes the ugly feeling building up in the pit of his stomach and just focuses on what would make Wooyoung happy.
A few weeks after meeting San, the five friends were at the studio. San was dancing to a song doing random moves trying to figure out which moves worked with the song when he saw the way Wooyoung was looking at him.
“Want to try?” San asks Wooyoung with a friendly smile when he sees that everyone is working on something except for Wooyoung.
Yeosang freezes and looks at them. He feels nervous as they hadn’t told San exactly why Wooyoung never dances with them and just watches them. It’s a hard topic to approach especially with someone they were only just getting to know but Wooyoung surprises Yeosang when he nods and stands up.
Yunho and Mingi have also stopped what they were doing at this point. They move to the side and join Yeosang who has stopped breathing in fear of something going wrong.
“Wanna do some stretches first?” San asks, the friendly smile never leaving his face.
Wooyoung just nods and starts doing his stretches and San follows his lead. Yeosang notices that Wooyoung looks relaxed after they finish stretching and he silently wishes Wooyoung good luck.
His first few movements are a little stiff as he follows San’s lead now. The moves are basic and don’t require much effort but Yeosang slowly starts to breathe as he watches Wooyoung slowly come into his own. His movements look less stiff, still a little clumsy but he manages to keep up with San. San is smiling widely as he looks at Wooyoung through the mirror and he laughs a little at how nervous Wooyoung looks.
“Relax Woo, this is just for fun,” San says with a laugh and that seems to do something to Wooyoung.
Wooyoung smiles so brightly that Yeosang almost feels blinded. He hadn’t seen that smile since the day of the incident but it still had the same effect on him. His heart skips a beat and Yeosang finds himself smiling and relaxing.
Wooyoung is still a little awkward but now he looks like he is having fun. Yunho and Mingi look at each other with wide smiles as they also realise what is happening right before their eyes.
“Can we join?” Mingi asks excitedly and both San and Wooyoung answer with a loud “yes!”. Yunho laughs and the two tall best friends join San and Wooyoung.
They copy San’s move with their personal twist and they laugh together as they make weird dance moves together. Wooyoung is still smiling as he moves to the music, still following San’s lead but he seems to be able to put some of his personal touches too. Yeosang watches in awe as he sees Wooyoung come back to his own, slowly but surely.
“Sangie, you coming?” San asks when he sees that Yeosang is still standing on the side and staring.
He looks at Wooyoung who is also looking at him with a wide smile. That smile was going to be the death of Yeosang but he would die a happy man.
“I’m coming,” Yeosang says with a wide smile and joins his friends.
Their day ends with loud screaming and laughing. Yeosang feels exhausted as he lays on the studio floor with his limbs spread out. His friends are all collapsed somewhere. The only person he is aware of is Wooyoung who is laying a little bit further from him. They are both sweaty and tired but they are both smiling widely.
Wooyoung wasn’t as good as he used to be and he didn’t do anything too complicated. He was still dancing a little bit like a little fawn just learning to walk but this was so much better than when Wooyoung ran out of the studio. Yeosang is glad that Wooyoung seems to be taking a step forward. He closes his eyes and thanks every god out there and before he can think his hand is reaching out until he feels Wooyoung’s hand.
Wooyoung doesn’t say anything and just intertwines their fingers together.
They are both smiling.
Things get a little better after that day. Wooyoung seems to have a lot of energy and moves around more. He was going to the gym more often and tried to dance more. He takes it slow, doing easier choreograph and just having fun.
It makes Yeosang happy to see him like this but the ugly feeling in the pit of his stomach keeps on growing.
Wooyoung was getting closer to San. Yeosang didn’t have an issue with Wooyoung making friends, Wooyoung had a long list of best friends, he knows that he wasn’t the only one but there was something about the connection Wooyoung made with San that bothered Yeosang. Maybe it was also the fact that San seems to have inspired Wooyoung to dance again. Something Yeosang had tried for weeks, months, almost a year and San got it done with one question.
Yeosang watched Wooyoung and San play around a little in the studio. San was helping Wooyoung again. San now knowing why Wooyoung didn’t dance was determined to get him to where he used to be. San was really sweet about it, talking to Wooyoung gently and giving him lots of encouragement. Yeosang watches from the sidelines as Wooyoung seems to be coming back to his former self.
Yeosang felt a little useless.
Wooyoung was smiling more and talking more. He was getting back to his social self and people around him noticed and were happy for him. Wooyoung was also getting better at dancing, he was less stiff and clumsy and getting more relaxed and graceful. Yeosang loved watching this transition as it felt like watching Wooyoung fall in love all over again with dance. He dances an old choreography he knows by heart. It’s still a little awkward but Yeosang can see the familiar style returning slowly.
Yeosang is smiling widely when Wooyoung finishes and is about to tell him that he did a good job when Wooyoung turns to San.
“What did you think?”
Yeosang shuts his mouth.
“That was great, Woo! You are definitely getting better!” San says and runs towards Wooyoung excitedly.
“Thank you, Sannie”
Yeosang sighs internally but on the outside stays smiling and quiet.
“Did you see that Sangie?!” San asks excitedly and he just nods.
Yeosang has to push aside the ugly emotions, still growing in him.
“We should go celebrate!”
Yeosang passes, saying he is tired, and goes home alone instead. Wooyoung gets back late in the night and Yeosang says nothing, just pretends to be asleep.
Wooyoung continues to get better and becomes more and more like the Wooyoung everyone knew while Yeosang gets quieter.
No one raises any questions as Yeosang had always been the quieter one in his friend group. He was more of a homebody anyway.
If Yeosang was honest, he didn’t love dancing anyway. He enjoyed it, it was a good workout and a good way to spend time with his friends. He started dancing because Wooyoung was so excited about it and loved it so much. If Wooyoung had never dragged him to his after-school dance clubs, Yeosang would have never started dancing. He would have stuck with skateboarding.
He had thought about quitting after getting into uni anyways but held off so he could find a way to get Wooyoung to dance again. Now that Wooyoung seems to be getting back into it, Yeosang starts to consider it again. He wanted to focus on his studies anyway so it might be a good time to slowly leave his dancing days behind.
He is sitting in the studio watching Wooyoung dance, it’s not the same but it’s getting close. There is still something missing but Yesoang had a suspicion that he would figure it out on his own soon.
Yeosang starts to pack his things up while Wooyoung is distracted but San notices.
“Going home already?” San asks with a bright smile.
“Yeah…I’m a little tired today” Yeosang says with a fake smile and San doesn’t realise it.
“Can I ask you something before you go?” San asks with a tilt of his head and Yeosang nods.
“Do you love dancing?”
Yeosang is taken aback by the question and started at San in shock for a few seconds. San waits patiently, still smiling.
“Not really”
San frowns.
“Anyway, I’ll see you soon,” Yeosang says, thankful for San not questioning him further before leaving.
San was someone who loved to dance. He danced while putting his soul into it and anyone watching him could tell that he was at his happiest when dancing.
Yeosang wasn’t like that.
He danced so he could be with Wooyoung. His joy came from being able to dance with Wooyoung and not dance itself. Dance helped them deepen their friendship. Dancing together, helping each other, and encouraging each other. As well as laughing together and just spending time together. They were some of the most precious memories for Yeosang.
Those will be memories he will cherish forever and the moments he will miss the most when he does quit.
It’s raining when Yeosang gets out of the dance studio. Of course, he has forgotten his umbrella. He curses his bad luck and pulls the hood of his hoodie up over his head getting ready to make a run for it.
“Sangie!”
Yeosang turns around to see Wooyoung running towards him, umbrella in hand.
“You forgot your umbrella at the flat today, have mine,” Wooyoung says as he offers his umbrella to him.
“Thanks, but you will need it later. I’ll buy one from the convenience store so don’t worry about me” Yeosang says softly with a small smile on his lips.
“Take it, Sangie. I can share one with San later” Wooyoung insists and Yeosang’s heart drops at the mention of San’s name.
“Okay, thank you…see you later,” Yeosang says and takes the umbrella.
“Good, I’ll see you later!” Wooyoung says happily before running back into the studio.
Yeosang sighs and walks home, umbrella in hand and lost in his thoughts.
He feels useless.
He can’t help but feel like Wooyoung didn’t need him anymore. Wooyoung was happy and he was dancing again so why was Yeosang still sticking around?
He has to quit dancing he decides by the time he gets home. He washes up and eats dinner alone before going into his room. He sits at his table and opens a drawer before pulling out a picture. It’s a picture of him and Wooyoung when they were five. They both have wide smiles on their faces, Yeosang looks a little shy but he looks neat and tidy. Wooyoung was clearly the trouble maker of the two with his messy hair, a bandaid across his nose, and some scratches on his cheeks.
Yeosang trails his fingers over the photo with a small smile on his face.
He remembers this day, it was when Wooyoung had dragged Yeosang to his dance club. Wooyoung had bragged about joining the dance club after school and told Yeosang about how fun it was. Yeosang was happy for him had said he wants to see Wooyoung dance who then came up with the idea of Yeosang joining the club too.
Yeosang was not at all for the idea at first as he was such a shy child but Wooyoung encouraged him. Yeosang eventually joined the club and was so mesmerised by the way Wooyoung danced and looked so happy that he agreed to stay.
“We can dance together!” Wooyoung had said and Yeosang went with it. He would do it for Wooyoung and he didn’t regret it.
Watching Wooyoung happy and shine made Yeosang so happy. When he got stage fright and couldn’t dance anymore, Yeosang was heartbroken but now Wooyoung was getting back to his normal self. The sine in his eyes, the smile on his face, and the way he moved. It was all coming back and Yeosang was happy about it but he also knows when to step back. He has to let Wooyoung grow on his own now.
Wooyoung didn’t need him anymore.
________
“What do you mean you are quitting?!” Mingi yells.
“I’m busy with uni stuff and I can’t find the time to practice and stuff,” Yeosang says simply.
“That— ” Mingi gets cut off.
“Yeosang…have you seriously thought this through?” Yunho asks, being the reasonable one out of the two tall best friends.
“Of course,” Yeosang says simply.
“Okay, we won’t force you,” Yunho says with a nod.
“What?! I’m not agreeing with this!” Mingi protests.
“That’s not something for you to decide, Mingi,” Yunho says calmly.
“But!”
“No, Yeosang chose this so leave him be,” Yunho says before standing up and leaving.
“This conversation isn’t over!” Mingi says to Yeosang while pointing a finger at him before running after his best friend.
Yeosang sighs. He hates making Yunho angry but he was a stubborn one who had made his decision already.
San takes the news a little better but Yeosang suspects it’s because he had admitted that he didn’t love dancing. San still smiles at Yeosang because he is too nice for this world and Yeosang almost feels bad.
“Have you told Wooyoung?” San asks.
“Not yet” Yeosang admits and San hums in response.
“He told me the two of you started dancing together when you guys were five,” San says before taking a sip of his coffee.
“We did”
“He seems to hold those memories close to his heart”
Yeosang is a little surprised but he smiles.
“Those are special to me too…they were some of the happiest moments of my life,” Yeosang says with a soft laugh.
“I can tell…you should talk to Wooyoung before you make your final decision”
Yeosang nods. He was going to tell Wooyoung tonight anyway so he heads home while trying to think about what exactly he wants to say to Wooyoung.
“Yeosang, hey!” Wooyoung greets him cheerfully when he gets back to their shared flat.
“Hey…have you got a minute,” Yeosang asks as he takes his shoes off.
“Yeah, you wanna talk?” Wooyoung asks and Yeosang nods. “Come sit with me,” Wooyoung says and pats the space next to him on the sofa.
“Hi!” Wooyoung says with a bright smile.
“Hi,” Yeosang says and returns his smile.
“I’ve missed you”
Yeosang laughs.
“I’ve been right here”
“Not like that…I miss spending time with you, you have been coming less and less to the studio,” Wooyoung says with a small pout. “I don’t mean to be clingy…” Wooyoung adds quickly and makes Yeosang laugh again.
“I’ve been busy, sorry Woo,” Yeosang says.
“I know, you were always the smart one in this relationship,” Wooyoung says Yeosang raises a brow at him.
“Relationship?”
Wooyoung blushes and Yeosang laughs. His pout only grows.
“I’m glad you’re dancing again,” Yeosang says after a moment of silence and Wooyoung smiles.
“It’s been fun”
“Good, it should always be something you enjoy…and nothing else should matter,” Yeosang says and Wooyoung nods.
“Maybe we can dance together again when you have time,” Wooyoung says looking at Yeosang with hopeful eyes and Yeosang feels his heart drop to his stomach.
“Ah…yeah, I— I…” Yeosang stutters and stumbles over his words. His mind is jumbled up and he cannot put a sentence together.
“What’s wrong?” Wooyoung asks in worry and Yeosang wants to tell him that he is okay and everything is fine but he would be lying.
“I’m going to quit!” Yeosang says with his eyes closed and he doesn’t see Wooyoung’s reaction but he can tell he is hurt as he let out a gasp.
“W— what?”
“I’m quitting dance, Woo” Yeosang says slowly as he opens his eyes and looks at Wooyoung.
“Why?”
“I’m getting busier with uni stuff…and it’s not like I love to dance anyway,” Yeosang says slowly and Wooyoung just stares at him.
“Okay, now tell me the real reason why you feel the need to quit,” Wooyoung says seriously, and for a second Yeosang wonder if he should just get up and leave. He should have known that Wooyoung out of all people was never going to believe his half-hearted excuse.
Yeosang sighs and gives up.
“You don’t need me anymore”
“What?”
“You are doing fine on your own now, you have fallen in love with dance again and I’m so happy for you. You are getting better and better every day and soon you will be even better than before and I’ll hold you back,” Yeosang says as he looks down at his hands which were resting in his lap.
“What makes you think you’re holding me back?”
“Because I’m not going to get any better. I’m not going to be able to grow with you nor will I be able to inspire you like…like San”
Wooyoung frowns.
“Okay”
“Okay?”
Wooyoung nods.
“I’ll wait for you”
“What?”
“You’ve waited for me to get back and here I am. Now it’s my turn to wait for you. You say you don’t love dancing but you’ve waited to dance with me again and I’ll do the same because I know you will come back” Wooyoung says confidently and Yeosang is left speechless in shock.
“And anyway, I want to dance with you again so I’ll wait” Wooyoung adds.
Yeosang slowly comes to terms with what Wooyoung says before smiling.
“Well, I can’t leave you waiting,” Yeosang says before turning towards Wooyoung who looks a little shocked himself.
Yeosang is smiling when he rests his head on Wooyoung’s shoulder.
Wooyoung is smiling too and he reaches for one of Yeosang’s hands.
They sit there in comfortable silence, both feeling a million times lighter.
________
It’s not a competition, it’s just a small show so there was no pressure to be the best or the most perfect but Wooyoung is still nervous. It had been almost two years since he had performed in front of an audience.
He was going to be dancing, in their comfortable studio, in front of his friends and some of the other people who were part of their studio.
No pressure.
But he had so much nervous energy, sweaty palms, and shaky legs.
Yunho and Mingi were performing their number to an Exo song and everyone was cheering for them. San was cheering the loudest. San had performed a solo today to an NCT song and everyone had loved it. Wooyoung was probably cheering the loudest for San but now he was close to having a nervous breakdown.
“Woo!”
“Sang!”
“Calm down,” Yeosang says as he places a comforting hand on his shoulder.
“What if I freeze? What if my legs give out?” What if everyone laughs?” Wooyoung asks in panic as his mind starts to go down a deep, dark hole.
“Wooyoung,” Yeosang says firmly as he places his hands on Wooyoung’s face making him look at him.
“You are going to be amazing, you have worked so hard. I know you are anxious but I’m here. Trust yourself the way I trust you” Yeosang says and his words help Wooyoung feel grounded.
“Thank you, Sangie”
“You’re welcome…come on now, we are next” Yeosang says and holds one of Wooyoung’s hands.
The song they picked was Spring Day by BTS. It was a slow song but the original choreography was a work of art. The two best friends worked hard to come up with something new but something which took inspiration from the original choreography.
“You are going to be amazing” Yeosang whispers as they stand in front of each other ready to start.
They are holding hands, eyes closed, and as the music starts the two lose themselves to the song and to the joy of dancing together.
When the song ends they are both breathing hard, standing back to back for the ending.
Please stay there.
Everyone is quiet for a few seconds before they all break out in applause and loud cheers. Their friends are the loudest.
Yeosang and Wooyoung turn around at the same time and both jump towards the other for a tight hug.
“You were amazing!” Yeosang says and Wooyoung smiles.
“Thank you…I was amazing because you were here with me” Wooyoung says and squeezes Yeosang’s hands.
They had somehow managed to link their hands and intertwine their fingers together. They are smiling at each other and are still standing very close. Their foreheads pressed together. Yeosang’s eyes are closed and Wooyoung takes time to notice how beautiful his best friend is.
His body moves before his brain can register what he wants. His lips fit perfectly against Yeosang’s soft lips. As soon as Wooyoung registers what he had done he is about to pull away but then he feels Yeosang kissing him back before wrapping his arms around his neck and pulling him closer.
Wooyoung’s arms find their way to Yeosang’s waist and hold him tightly as if Yeosang would float away.
The studio is filled with more loud cheers and some shouts of “finally!”. This brings both of them back to reality, both of them smiling wider than they ever have and blushing brightly.
Their friends join them and San hugs both of them tightly calling both of them his babies and giving them both a kiss on top of their heads. Mingi and Yunho are jumping around in excitement and telling them how great they were.
Between all the celebrations Wooyoung catches Yeosang’s gaze and they smile at each other. They would have a lot to talk about when they get home that night but they both knew that things were going to change for the better.
Wooyoung couldn’t think of a better person to go down this path than with Yeosang.