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“Are you sure you don’t want help?”
Daichi was at their low table, laptop open next to his text book, reading glasses perched on his nose, their big dog Momo stretched out across his lap. It was the third time he’d asked this question. And yes, he looked very cute and it was very distracting, but it was starting to make Koushi think the man had no faith in him.
“Quit trying to get out of doing your homework,” Koushi scolded him, bonking him on the head with his umbrella as he tugged on his jacket. “Tanaka specifically asked for me. I’m great with kids. Teacher, remember? I’m a licensed professional.”
Daichi snorted at him resting his chin in the palm of his hand, glasses slipping a little further down his nose. Koushi wanted to kiss him so badly but he was already running late.
“And what do you know about babies?”
“That they are very small children, which I know everything about,” Koushi replied jamming his feet into his shoes and sending Daichi a grin. Daichi was rolling his eyes.
“Alright, if you’re sure…”
“I’ll be fine. How hard can it be?”
The Tanakas lived nearby, Koushi skipping over puddles at a jog, umbrella up, water soaking into his sneakers anyway. He buzzed up to their apartment, much messier than the last time he’d been over. Baby stuff exploded into their small space, pacifiers sitting on the kitchen counter, bottles sitting to dry by the sink, rattles and toys littered their living room. Birdie in the cage whistled at Koushi as he shook off the water and bumped fists with Tanaka as he shrugged on his jacket.
“Honey, Suga’s here.”
Kiyoko appeared, radiant as always, passing the baby to Tanaka so she could finish putting in her earrings.
“Say hi Uncle Suga,” Tanaka scrunched his face at Shoko and she cooed back at him big dark eyes and whispy hair beginning to fill in on her head. Koushi remembered when they’d brought her home how tiny and red and scrunched up she’d been. ‘Is that normal?’ he’d asked Daichi afterwards and Daichi had laughed at him.
Kiyoko had written down all the instructions, when to feed her and how much, when bedtime was, how to put her down for the night. Suga nodded along, straight forward enough. She was just a mini kid, obeyed the same world logic as his second graders, just needed to eat and sleep and that would keep her happy.
“Honestly she’ll probably sleep most of the night,” Kiyoko assured him slipping on her heels, Tanaka bouncing Shoko on his hip.
“Funny faces, she loves funny faces,” he offered helpfully.
“If you need anything at all, just call us.”
“We’ll be back by nine thirty.”
“Eleven,” Kiyoko disagreed, Tanaka flushing for a second. “She’ll be fine, Suga will be fine. We’ll be back by eleven.” Tanaka nodded and swallowed, lifting Shoko up to offer to Koushi. She was heavier than she looked, solid with chubby baby cheeks.
“You’re gonna have lots of fun with Uncle Suga, right?” he asked the baby who blinked at him.
“Eleven. Call us if you need anything,” Kiyoko repeated. Tanaka ducked close one last time to kiss Shoko’s head.
“Bye bye, sweetheart, be good.”
Suga lifted the baby’s chubby hand to pretend to wave as Kiyoko slipped her hand into Tanaka’s, they exchanged a smile.
“Bye Suga, good luck!” Tanaka called and then they’d breezed out the door. Koushi bouncing the baby against his hip like he’d seen Tanaka do. Easy enough. He was a pro already. Daichi all worried about nothing.
“Let’s go say hi to Birdie,” he told Shoko carrying her to the cage, the bird whistling as he approached. Suga whistled back. “Should we teach him a new song?” Shoko squirmed peering up at Koushi with big brown eyes as it seemed to dawn on her that he was not her dad or her mom. And that was when she began to wail.
Shoko in one arm, Koushi shook the bottle of formula with his free hand.
“Please stop crying, please stop crying,” he sang at the sobbing infant who could not care less about what he wanted. Finally hoping it was mixed enough he collapsed into the Tanakas’ arm chair to feed her, awkwardly propping her in his arm while she squirmed. He got the nipple into her mouth only for her to spit it out and howl louder. That was right. He was supposed to warm it up. The thought dimly returned to him of Kiyoko’s meticulous instructions, rocking her as he went back to the kitchen.
Setting the bottle in hot water he tried to get Shoko to stop crying. She did not care for any of his silly faces, or the jokes that made his grade two kids giggle, he tried whistling at her like the bird but she didn’t like that either, in fact it might have made her angrier. Face red, tiny fists clenched she positively shrieked.
“You’re just like your dad when he missed a spike. Simmer down, Tanaka,” Koushi mumbled to her testing the bottle on his wrist, he tried again. Shoko almost spat it back out but Koushi was firmer handed this time and eventually she latched on with enthusiasm, sucking down the formula with gusto. Koushi sank back into the arm chair, watching her gossamer eyelashes flutter, soft cooing noises in the back of her throat.
His phone vibrated in his pocket and propping up the bottle Koushi slid it out to see a ‘hows it going’ text from Daichi. He took a selfie and sent it back with a one word caption.
Great!
He received a selfie in return that was classic poorly cropped Daichi and mostly Momo still stretched out in his lap, head cocked back tongue hanging out of her mouth.
It’d gone well after that he’d thought, laying Shoko down for some tummy time, crawling the rainbow worm across her belly which she’d almost smiled at until she caught sight of Koushi’s face and then her face screwed up red and tight and she started crying again. He picked her up and that had just set her off again. And then for icing on the cake, she spat up on him. That was normal right? Babies did that sometimes?
Koushi wiped it off, low grade dread settling in the pit of his stomach it wasn’t even eight yet. He had what, another three hours? And then she’d spat up again and bawled louder and Birdie started screaming too and panic squeezed into Koushi’s chest. He tucked Shoko to his chest, making hushing sounds bending to kiss her head and as a reward she grabbed a handful of hair and hung on. Koushi squeaking trying to pry her loose. She only sobbed louder. At the end of his rope Koushi picked up his phone.
Daichi arrived and Koushi nearly burst into tears, the fistful of ash hair still clutched in Shoko’s tiny hand as she screamed bloody murder. Koushi wasn’t sure what he thought Daichi might do to improve this situation only that he could not survive alone. Daichi shed his shoes and jacket giving Koushi a fond smile and crossing the room to pluck Shoko out of his arms, situating her belly down across his forearm like a football, rocking back and forth, rubbing her back. Immediately she quieted, blinking her big baby eyes and beginning to drool on Daichi’s sleeve. Koushi sank back onto the couch, stunned.
“How…?”
“Practice,” Daichi told him, “How many brothers and sisters do I have again?”
“Oh,” Koushi exhaled.
“Remember Shoji was just a baby when we were first years in high school? And Yohei when I was in middle school.”
“I forgot that,” Koushi said.
“You never wanted to hold him when you came over to do homework.”
“He was always so wet, just drool everywhere.”
“That’s how all babies are.”
“Eweghh,” Koushi groaned flopping back.
“Stand up so I can show you how.”
“She’s gonna scream again. She hates me, Dai. She thinks I’m the devil.”
“She might be onto something.” Koushi launched a kick at him and Daichi laughed stepping out of the way easily, “You don’t hate your Uncle Suga do you?” Daichi asked Shoko in his baby talk voice and Koushi’s insides melted a little bit. “Stand up, Kou, don’t be a baby.”
Reluctantly Koushi got back to his feet holding out his arms as Daichi transferred the football, tucking Shoko securely there. She did not scream, content for now.
“You’ve got a little, uh,” Daichi prodded Koushi in the shoulder.
“She spat up on me. Like three times.”
“Did you burp her after you fed her?”
“Oh no,” Koushi sucked in a breath, “Did I break her?”
“No, no,” Daichi laughed tugging on his sweater to lead him into the kitchen. He wet a towel and cleaned up Koushi’s shirt. Pulled a beer from the fridge and cracked it open.
“Did you finish your homework?”
“No, I kept falling asleep. Momo is the worst, so nice and warm. I need to do homework first thing in the morning instead of after work. I’m just tired as shit.”
“Sorry.”
“Not your fault. Just have, what? Four more classes to go?” Daichi took a sip and then held it out to Koushi to take a swallow.
“Then look out Karasuno highschool!” Koushi cackled, his husband cracking a smile at him. Shoko complained and Daichi set down the beer and opened his arms.
“Come to Uncle Dai,” he said and Koushi passed him the baby, Daichi holding her up above his face.
“You’re so much bigger than the last time I saw you Sho-chan, huh?” he asked smiling up at her. Koushi leaned against the counter and took another swig of the beer, heart doing silly flip flops like he was back in high school himself and hadn’t been married to this man for almost three years now. “Huh?” Daichi asked again giving her a little toss into the air and catching her as she started to giggle, little hands reaching for his face, Daichi laughing with her. He gave her another toss, and a kiss on the cheek.
“Daichi…” Koushi didn’t want to say it, with all the learning he was doing tonight, nothing good came of this situation. Daichi looked up from the sink where he was making another bottle for Shoko who had returned to her complaining now that Daichi was further than three feet away, even held like a football. Koushi was cursed. Clearly babies hated him. He’d tried to ignore it, but then she’d let out a low ominous sound and Koushi wrinkled his nose grimacing. “She’s stinky.”
“Go change her diaper then,” Daichi said turning back to the bottle dumping in a spoon of the formula and twisting the lid on.
“Daichi.”
Koushi’s hopes going into this night were that Tanaka and Kiyoko would be back by nine that theoretically he could survive without any diaper changing required. It was now nearly ten, they’d already put Shoko into her pajamas. Getting ready to have her last bottle and read a story or two and put her to sleep.
“Koushi,” Daichi echoed back at him.
“I don’t know how.”
“Why did Tanaka ask you to babysit tonight?” Daichi set the bottle down drying off his hands.
“I don’t knowwww,” Koushi held Shoko out who to his pride now continued to cry in Daichi’s hands instead. Daichi led the way back to the bedroom.
“Alright, Kou, I’m going to walk you through it,” Daichi said lying Shoko down on the changing table, one hand settled over her torso to keep her from rolling off while he grabbed a fresh diaper to hand to Koushi.
“Daichi you’re going to be such a good dad.”
“That’s not gonna work. Don’t say that to me to get out of changing a diaper.”
“But it’s true,” Koushi said trading places, frowning at Daichi.
“Put a hand on her or she’s going to slippery eel right off that table and crack her head open.”
“Don’t want that.”
“You’re going to have to undo all those snaps from before.”
Koushi let out a harassed sigh and Daichi bumped shoulders with him, Shoko had quieted but was starting to thrash. Daichi leaned over Koushi’s shoulder, screwing up his face into a silly look, blowing a raspberry. Shoko’s eyes got big and Daichi pulled another face and Koushi couldn’t help but smile as Shoko let out a tiny laugh.
Diaper changing was almost fun with Daichi hanging off his shoulder while Koushi did it. Stopping his silly faces to help Koushi secure the little sticky flaps tighter and inevitably help do all the snaps back up on the onesie when he was done, blowing one final raspberry on Shoko’s belly before snapping the rest of them.
They sat on the couch and Daichi fed her the last bottle, her eyelids getting heavier and heavier. Koushi watched the undimmed love and adoration on Daichi’s face, feeling like his own chest was cracking open. Maybe someday Daichi’d look that way at their baby.
“I wouldn’t be a good dad,” the words wormed their way out of Koushi’s mouth as Daichi was rubbing soothing circles until Shoko’s back as she quieted against his shoulder. Daichi turned to frown at him, reaching out his arm to pull Koushi closer, stroking a hand through his hair.
“That’s such bullshit, you’d be a great dad.”
“Did you not see her scream every time I held her tonight?”
“Not every time,” Daichi said and Koushi punched him gently in the ribs, Daichi barking a laugh.
“You just need some practice with babies. And it’s not like they’ll be babies forever either,” he said. “Give ‘em a couple years and you’ll be right in your element. You’d be a great dad, Kou.”
“Not as good as you.”
“Better than me,” Daichi poking Koushi in the shoulder.
“Nooo.”
“You’re definitely the one giving our kids the sex talk.”
“Oh no, you’re not getting out of that,” Koushi hissed back, “We’re doing that together.” Daichi laughed and Koushi snuggled a little closer. “Is she asleep?” he whispered.
“Think so,” Daichi agreed and Koushi sighed.
“I thought I was ready but after tonight I don’t know.”
“That’s fine. No rush,” Daichi murmured back resting his chin on top of Koushi’s head. “I’ve still got to finish up my degree.”
“That’s right.”
“You can get some more babysitting practice,” Daichi smiled poking him again as Koushi groaned. “Next time I’ll come with you. I’ll be your baby coach, me and Shoko will whip you into shape.”
Koushi laughed smiling into Daichi’s neck, pressing a gentle kiss there.
--
“Do you think he survived?” Kiyoko reached for the front door. It’d been nice to get out for a couple of hours, have a real date for once.
“I’m sure Shoko didn’t give him any problems,” Ryu answered, “Suga-san probably even cleaned up after himself and everything.” Kiyoko gave a skeptical hum to that pulling the door open and stepping inside.
“We’re back!” she called. They could hear the soft hum of the tv, poking her head into the living room. It was a disaster zone of baby toys and empty bottles, a scattered stack of books. Shoko wasn’t even in bed at this late hour she was cradled against Daichi’s shoulder on the couch, Suga’s head on his other shoulder, legs swung across Daichi’s lap.
“Oh,” she said. “Sawamura?”
Daichi turned to blink at her with a tired smile.
“How was the date?”
“Daichi-san?” Ryu echoed behind her.
“Suga needed a little help so I came over.”
“A little help?” Kiyoko asked, Daichi’s smile stretched a little wider.
“He was a mess.”
“Called it,” Kiyoko turned to Ryu.
“But he’s a teacher!” Ryu protested.
“Yeah, to eight year olds who can express their needs using words.”
“Could one of you take Sho-chan so I can wake the big baby?”
Suga shifted against Daichi’s shoulder.
“Do I hear you,” he mumbled, eyelashes fluttering, “talking shit about me.”
“Never,” Daichi said with a fond smile, kissing Suga’s forehead. Suga cracked his eyes open at him.
“Liar.”
“Only sometimes,” Daichi amended, “out of love.”
“Sure. Right. Out of love, my ass.”
“I do love your ass.”
“Time for you two to go,” Kiyoko said collecting Shoko from Daichi.
“You’re giving me war flashbacks,” Tanaka said.
“What war was that?” Suga asked with a yawn and an evil grin.
“My first two years in club.”
“Blasphemy. Daichi ban him from the team.”
“Time to go,” Daichi agreed taking Suga by the arm and dragging him to his feet.
“I don’t wanna,” Suga complained, “Can I just stay here? I’ll be good I promise. I don’t wanna go out in the rain. Tanaka, please.”
“Daichi’s the boss, Suga-san.”
“You’re your own boss,” Suga informed him, “Daichi’s easy to say no to, just keep talking until he gives up.”
“C’mon Suga, let’s go home,” Daichi said dragging him toward where their shoes were waiting by the front door.
“Let me say good bye to Birdie.”
Tanaka laughed following them to the door.
“Thanks guys, it was nice to have a night out.”
“Anytime,” Suga told him with a grin. Daichi giving him a withering look.
“Next time I’ll invite you too, Daichi-san.”
“I always knew you were smarter than you looked,” Daichi clapped him on the back while Suga cackled. Tanaka shook his head grinning.
“Good to see you guys. Stay dry out there.”
Suga was one step out the door popping open his umbrella and waving. Daichi pulled up his collar and let the door shut behind them, down the steps, he slid his arm into Daichi’s pulling them both firmly under the umbrella’s protection. It wasn’t pouring but raining just enough that it was troublesome.
“That wasn’t so bad.”
Daichi hummed in agreement.