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Kai’s standing uncharacteristically still as he surveys the crowd. Champagne flute in one hand, which he hasn’t taken a single sip of, the other hand in his pocket, inevitably counting down the minutes. Beomgyu is beside him, scarfing down appetizers and wondering if he can get away with ordering another drink. Taehyun can tell; his eyes keep lingering at the bar as he scans the room.
Taehyun nudges Kai’s hip with his own, jostling the champagne. None of it spills, but Kai still makes a face.
“You need to calm down,” Taehyun says, voice low.
“I’m very calm right now,” Kai snips back.
Beomgyu snorts but shakes his head and motions to something behind him when Kai turns his head, eyes narrowed. Okay, so maybe they’re all on edge right now. It’s only normal.
The exchange is in thirty minutes, in the upstairs bathroom. The briefcase filled with money in exchange for a single envelope. Five pages of information typed out, detailing assets to a group Taehyun has been working seven months to get. He’s giddy about how close they are. And so far, so good.
Beomgyu steps closer to him, now done with his snack, and his arm comes up to flick at the dangly earring attached to Taehyun’s right ear.
“These are nice,” Beomgyu says coolly.
Taehyun perks up; he can tell the compliment is genuine.
“My sister got them for me,” he supplies.
“Oh,” Beomgyu responds, almost surprised, “Well they look great with the suit.”
Yes. Another white-collar event, another suit. This one’s been worn before though, Taehyun had to take it to the dry cleaners twice to get the stains out. No blood this time – he honestly can’t remember how it got so dirty, but he’s happy he didn’t have to spend an exuberant amount of money on another pair of black slacks and a suit jacket.
“Please stop flirting,” Kai says hurriedly, looking pointedly at Taehyun.
“Bleh.” Beomgyu sticks his tongue out at Kai. “It’s fun and I’m bored. Let us live.”
Kai just rolls his eyes, but Taehyun flushes and looks down at the floor. The shiny pale pink marble tiles twinkle back at him. He can almost see his reflection in them. If he stares hard enough. Which he just might, because the next second he feels Beomgyu’s hand slip under his shirt collar and rest at the back of his neck, pulling him in just a bit.
Taehyun tears his eyes away from the floor and looks up, blinking a few times.
“Think we’ll get out of here without using our guns?” Beomgyu whispers.
Taehyun frowns, thinking. “I hope so,” he says flatly.
“We all have hope, Taehyun-ah. But seriously, have you seen anything weird tonight? Anything I should know of?”
Taehyun shakes his head, and it’s the truth. It’s been smooth sailing so far. Even the fake names they gave at the entrance and the completely made-up narrative Kai’s been spreading across the room to the other guests - it’s all worked out. And so far, no one’s looked at them sideways or given Taehyun a second glance. Knock on wood, but he thinks tonight will go according to plan.
“Good.” Beomgyu pats him once on the back of his neck and retracts his hand, opting to slide right next to Kai and hook their arms together, plopping his chin on Kai’s shoulder. The younger doesn’t look one bit pleased. Taehyun lets out a short laugh. Cute.
“Why are you in such a pissy mood? We’re going to be fine,” Beomgyu says gently.
“Tell me that in forty-five minutes. I just,” Kai pauses to take a deep breath, “I just want everything to go well.”
Beomgyu coos, pinching at Kai’s cheeks, “Aww, look Taehyun-ah, he really does care for you.”
“Me? Hyung, I think he’s worried about you,” Taehyun says, laughing.
Kai lets out a short breath and detaches himself from Beomgyu, a clear grimace on his face.
“I really hate the both of you, you know that? I really might just down this drink and get out of here,” Kai says exasperatedly. Beomgyu laughs, head tilting back and his hand on his stomach. Taehyun smiles. It’s nice to have little moments filled with so much joy squeezed in between the horrors of crime and violence.
“If you leave us, we’re definitely not getting out of here alive,” Beomgyu points out.
Taehyun nods, and Kai pouts, arms crossed. It’s true though – Kai brings something to the team neither Beomgyu nor Taehyun can. He’s incredibly sharp and stays on task, while also being empathetic and kind. Beomgyu’s still working on the empathy thing, and Taehyun’s working on the staying on task thing. It’s been slow progress. But they’ll get there eventually.
Taehyun offers to get Beomgyu another drink, and when the elder agrees, Taehyun slips into the crowd by himself, navigating his way to the other side of the room. The chandeliers are so bright, reflecting off the sequins from the dresses and pocket squares. It’s actually quite pretty.
There’s already someone waiting at the bar, a man that looks to be of similar age to Taehyun. He smiles at him, and without a second to lose, offers to buy him a drink. Taehyun’s heart sort of skips a beat and he forgets how to breathe for a second before nodding his head enthusiastically. Because what the hell. When is he ever going to see this guy again.
He tells the other man what he wants (re: Beomgyu’s order) and starts talking. Taehyun spews his pre-rehearsed speech. Tonight, he’s a linguist who specializes in programming for non-profit organizations. The other man introduces himself as Kang Minhee and tells Taehyun he does photography for volunteer events and companies.
“So, are you working tonight?” Taehyun asks, both of them aware he’s clearly not.
Minhee laughs, and an ache blooms in Taehyun’s chest. He banishes the idea of what it could be like – doing this regularly. Flirting with random men at bars and feeling happy for himself.
Taehyun ducks out of the conversation ten minutes later, apologizing and explaining he has to get back to his friends, thanking Minhee for the drink. Taehyun blends back into the crowd, bowing and smiling whenever someone looks over at him. It’s all so easy, putting on his act.
He returns to a solemn-looking Beomgyu and a smug-looking Kai.
“Make a new friend?” Kai asks.
“Um, yeah, kind of. He bought you your drink,” Taehyun says, holding it out for Beomgyu.
“You drank some of it,” Beomgyu says dryly, not taking the drinking from Taehyun’s outstretched hand. Taehyun frowns at him. Beomgyu avoids his eyes. Taehyun raises an eyebrow at Kai, who only smiles.
“He’s jealous,” Kai whispers very loudly.
“Of who?” Taehyun replies dumbly.
“You, dummy,” Kai laughs.
“I’m not-” Beomgyu lets out an incredibly dramatic sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose. Taehyun frowns. He doesn’t like where his conversation is going. Beomgyu straightens and grabs the drink out of Taehyun’s hands, downing it in one go. Kai winces.
“I’m not jealous. You should just be more careful,” he says with a flat voice.
A lump forms in Taehyun’s throat, and he suddenly wishes they were the only two people in the room. Or somewhere far away, just the two of them. He hates pissing Beomgyu off. And they still have the mission to do. Fuck.
“I was being careful,” Taehyun says back, his tongue pressing up against his teeth. His eyes flick to Kai, telepathically asking him if he’s stepping over a line. Kai ever so slightly shakes his head once. Taehyun takes a deep breath.
“Right,” Beomgyu replies. His mouth is a thin line.
“Hyung, we get it, you want us to be safe,” Kai says, “But Taehyun can talk to whoever he wants.”
Taehyun smiles then looks at Beomgyu for his reaction. He just nods curtly, and his eyes sweep the floor. Taehyun rolls his eyes and is about to probably dig himself into a deeper hole when he realizes a woman holding a camera is approaching them.
She asks if she can take their photo, and Beomgyu nods, smiling warmly at her. She tells them to get right up close together and Kai laughs.
Beomgyu slings his arm around Taehyun and squeezes, holding him tight.
-
The exchange has only just begun, but by what Taehyun can tell, all three are already itching to leave.
There are five of them in the bathroom, two unknown men standing across from them, counting the money in the suitcase. They’re making a whole fucking show out of it, apparently. At this point, Taehyun wants to shove the bills down their throats.
The two men have the case open on the counter and a sink separates the two groups. The three of them are in a line, Taehyun in the front, Beomgyu second and Kai in the back, all leaning up against the counter. Beomgyu’s got a light hold on the back of Taehyun’s neck, slipped under his suit, holding him in place, Taehyun presumes.
He can’t see Kai, but he can tell he’s just moments away from saying something abrasive. It’s, at this point, unbelievable how slow they’re going. The file is tucked under Taehyun’s arm, hand in his pocket. He’s playing with two bobby pins, stabbing his fingers in anticipation.
Finally, they nod to each other, put the last bill in place and snap the case shut. They bow towards the three men and leave wordlessly. The bathroom door bangs closed. Taehyun breathes a sigh of relief.
Beomgyu pulls him into a tight hug, then does the same for Kai. Taehyun slaps Kai’s cheeks playfully, both of them beaming. A job well done. Mission accomplished.
-
Kai agrees it’s now time for them to get drunk. So they absolutely raid the bar, and after thanking the organizers (Beomgyu does most of the talking, he’s the soberest), they somehow manage to make it outside.
Kai stumbles down the stairs, and Taehyun laughs so hard he has to grab onto Beomgyu for support. It’s all such fucking fun. Taehyun’s really missed this. The three of them fooling around without a care in the world.
The taxi Beomgyu orders arrives quickly, and Taehyun already hears himself reminding the two of them to drink water once they make it home. Beomgyu nods and rolls his eyes, stepping in then instructing Taehyun to go next.
“Smallest in the middle,” Beomgyu says quietly after greeting the driver.
Taehyun scoffs. Kai slumps forward, his head hitting Taehyun’s shoulder. Taehyun has no idea how he’s already knocked out. Taehyun smiles quietly at him, then turns his attention back to Beomgyu.
He’s looking out the window, watching the skyscrapers zip by, his eyes flicking from building to building. It’s so dark out, only the warm yellow glow from the rectangular windows lighting their way.
“Did you really mean what you said back there?” Taehyun swallows, “That you weren’t jealous?”
Beomgyu turns to look at him, a soft smile on his face. Taehyun feels like he could stare at him for hours. He knows his eyes are wide, eager for an answer. An affirmative or negative one, he’s not sure yet. He thinks he just wants Beomgyu to pay attention to him. Even in this sloshy un-sober state, he craves it.
“I wasn’t jealous,” Beomgyu confirms. He looks a little like he’s trying not to laugh, and Taehyun smiles back at him. Beomgyu reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind Taehyun’s ear. It barely does anything though, his hair is so short as it is.
“I just want to make sure you’re with me. Right?” Beomgyu asks, his voice low. Taehyun wonders if the cab driver can hear them. The soft lyrical music playing out of the radio is nice.
“Right, hyung. Always with you.” Taehyun nudges Kai off of him until the other man leans over to the other side and rests his head on the car window. Now it’s Taehyun’s turn to snuggle down, nestling into Beomgyu’s side. “Only with you,” he mumbles into Beomgyu’s arm.
-
They get into a routine in the next few weeks. Lots of meetings, both internal and external. Lots of dinner parties and meetups and planned out raids. It gets easy again. Sleeping in hotels, returning home to their respective apartments after weeks of being away, collecting more and more information.
Taehyun’s doing well, he can tell. Finally, after what seems like so long, he can actually tell he’s providing a good outcome for both Jooho and his team.
Kai and Beomgyu are always with him. Always helping, always fixing his mistakes, always congratulating him at the end of each mission. Kai helps him clean the blood off of his shoes, and Beomgyu buys him a new gun. It’s shiny. Taehyun wonders how many times he’ll use it in the upcoming months. How many lives he’ll take after his finger pulls the trigger.
He’s glad he’s managed to pull himself out of the rut he was in. He can tell how well it’s affecting everyone else as well. They travel often, to Japan sometimes, but other times it’s Singapore, or Malaysia, once to Hawaiʻi for a week.
The months blur together, and Taehyun works hard. It’s tiring, but he feels good. He likes to feel so accomplished - that even if he’s doing bad, it’s actually good. He sometimes talks about it with Kai, in hushed voices waiting to check in to their hotel or in the back of trains, but never at length. He feels like maybe Kai doesn’t exactly get it. He doesn’t have the same ache in Taehyun’s chest every time he prepares himself for a new mission.
And then one day, Beomgyu disappears.
-
Taehyun's leg is jiggling non-stop, sat in the back of Kai’s car, parked on the street. The two of them are waiting for an appointment with Jooho. They’re parked outside of a scrummy non-descript building. It’s a whole ten minutes until it’s time for them to go in. Anxiety prompting both of them wanting to arrive early everywhere they go now.
Jooho supposedly knows where Beomgyu is. Apparently, he paid some guy who fessed up.
Taehyun hasn’t gotten more than three hours of sleep a night since he heard the news. It’s been five days now – five days of Kai and Taehyun running around trying to find any piece of information about Beomgyu’s whereabouts. It’s been so hard, and there are only so many times the two of them can day drink themselves into a stupor and pass out on each other’s couches.
Taehyun feels like he’s had a headache for two days straight. He hopes this meeting with Jooho clears some things up.
-
It does. Beomgyu’s in Gwangju. Kai and Taehyun are going to drive down and try to get him tomorrow. Taehyun feels like he’s been punched in the gut. Jooho didn’t sound disappointed when he told them, just tired. Taehyun is indispensable to the team, but Beomgyu is very valuable too. He organizes everything, makes sure to get the full picture, and is always there if someone slips up. Now someone else slipped up, and he’s gone.
Kai drives Taehyun silently back to his apartment and says goodnight to him, knowing they’re going to see each other in a few hours. They have a contact in Gwangju, so they won’t be staying in a hotel. The other man will also be there in case they need assistance. You know, Jooho had said so casually at the meeting, in case Beomgyu’s hurt. Every time Taehyun thinks about it, he feels like he’s going to throw up. Of course Beomgyu’s not in perfect condition. He’s been gone for five days. Taehyun just hopes he’s alive.
He doesn’t drink that night. Instead, he just stares up at the ceiling until his eyes grow heavy, breathing in and out slowly. He tries not to think about what’ll happen tomorrow.
-
It’s around a three and a half hour drive. Kai’s made an effort to lighten up the mood, Taehyun can tell. There’s a calm-sounding song playing and some snacks in the storage compartment between the two front seats. Taehyun’s packed for three days, hoping they’ll be out of Gwangju by then. Again, he doesn't want to think about why they would have to stay longer.
They chat awkwardly for the whole trip. Taehyun gets both of them are so focused on finding Beomgyu that’s all they can think about, even when there’s still so much time before when they actually get to the city.
They switch drivers halfway through, and Taehyun takes a second before restarting the car and pulling out of the lot.
“You okay?” Kai asks him seriously.
Taehyun looks over at him and smiles at the concerned expression on Kai’s face. Always so caring.
“Yeah…yeah, I’m good.” He’s not, but there’s nothing Kai can do about it. The least Taehyun can do is not act like a complete bitch to him.
They arrive in the late afternoon and swiftly make their way inside the lobby of the apartment building. Not that everyone’s expecting them, but Taehyun can never be too safe. He wants to catch the people who have Beomgyu off guard so the less they are out in public, the better.
The safehouse (although it’s more like a moderately decorated apartment) is nice. The man taking care of it apparently knows Jooho quite well, although neither Kai nor Taehyun has ever met him before. He’s older, quiet, and seems quite concerned about the situation. Taehyun tries to let it show that both he and Kai are panicking enough for the three of them, but he doesn’t think he gets his drift.
He keeps reminding them there's a large chance Beomgyu has been seriously injured or already dead.
“He’s kinda ruining the vibe, don’t you think?” Taehyun says after pulling Kai into the bathroom and locking the door.
Kai huffs out a laugh, then his expression grows more serious. His hand comes up to cup Taehyun’s cheek for a moment before he purses his lips.
“Beomgyu-hyung’s going to be okay,” Kai says softly.
Taehyun feels his lip begin to tremble. He swallows hard. There will be no crying in this too-small bathroom with Kai and a random depressingly pessimistic man in the room over.
“I know. I know, I know. I know we’re going to show up, and he’s probably going to have already gotten himself out of the mess and just waiting for us to take him home,” Taehyun says weakly. He’s trying his very best to keep it all together right now.
Kai gives him a sad smile and pulls him into a hug.
“I know how much he means to you, and, um….” Kai trails off. Taehyun buries his nose in Kai’s shoulder to muffle his laughter. Kai’s still working on the emotional vulnerability thing he supposes. It’s a start anyway.
“Be serious, Taehyun-ah,” Kai says, punching him in the back. The fist carries no weight. Kai rubs his hand up and down Taehyun’s spine.
Taehyun doesn’t know how the two of them are going to survive this if they find out Beomgyu’s dead tonight. He feels like if he finds that out, he will die. His body will literally give up on him.
“Do you love him?” Kai says so quietly against Taehyun’s neck.
Taehyun pulls back, breaking them apart and looking Kai in the eye. Neither of them says anything for a moment. Taehyun needs to choose his words carefully.
“I do, but not in the way you think.”
“What way do you think I think it is?”
“Something more than a friendship.”
“Isn’t it?”
“Is it?” Taehyun replies, quirking an eyebrow up. Kai doesn’t say anything back. Taehyun’s won this round. That, and the fact that he really doesn’t want to talk about this anymore.
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” he says, whining a little.
“Right. Sorry. That was my bad.” Kai sighs.
“Yeah it is, brat. If we find out hyung’s dead, you have to pay for my therapy for the next fifteen years,” Taehyun laughs.
“Idiot,” Kai says fondly, “You would never in a million years go to therapy.”
Taehyun sticks his tongue out at him and swivels around, opening the bathroom door. They need to get ready. They need to figure out the location, the point of entrance and exit, what weapons they should bring, and, you know, what to do if Beomgyu’s lying in a bloody mess on the floor.
It’s all in good fun.
-
They get to the pinpointed location Jooho sent them around seven o’clock. Both Taehyun and Kai skipped dinner, neither of them having an appetite for it. They’re both in the backseat, and Chan, the man from the apartment, is driving. He’s doing a great job, Taehyun notes, navigating the narrow streets.
It’s just getting dark now; the streetlights are starting to come on. Lots of people are walking home from work, talking on the phone, walking hand in hand, or listening to music. It’s nice for Taehyun, just to look.
Chan parks, and the three of them sit in silence, unmoving. They don’t really have a plan. They have a plan, but it’s more like a half-plan. It’s a in-no-way-can-this-go-wrong-or-else-we-are-entirely-fucked plan. Taehyun came up with most of it. He’s sort of put himself in charge of the whole thing. Because he feels like he owes Beomgyu this. Because of the countless times he’s saved his life without so much as a scratch. That, and the fact that Taehyun feels like he can’t live without Beomgyu.
Apparently, Beomgyu will be in the underground level of the parking garage across the street. It’s parking for some sort of life insurance building. It’s a weekend, so no one’s working. There’s going to be four people with him. And there are only three of them. The people they're meeting have been instructed to simply give Beomgyu back because Jooho gave them the address of some people Taehyun hadn’t even heard about. He doesn’t know a lot about what’s going on right now. Sometimes being kept in the dark is good, sometimes it’s bad. Right now he’s not too sure he wants to know whose life they’re trading in for Beomgyu’s.
Taehyun just hopes everything goes to plan. He really doesn’t want to use either of the two guns hidden behind his suit jacket. Taehyun squeezes his eyes shut, just for a moment, sending a small prayer to whoever’s up there that everything will go well. Please, please, please. Please let hyung be okay.
Kai taps his watch and announces it’s time for them to go in. Chan will stay in the car across the street. It’s stupid that they’re not driving into a parking garage, but they need a clean exit if things go array. So Chan and the car will stay outside. Kai and Taehyun will go inside. Hopefully, Kai, Taehyun, and Beomgyu will return back outside in one piece.
Taehyun thanks Chan and closes the door on his side softly. Kai seems to have a permanent grimace on his face. Taehyun has absolutely no way of lightening the mood right now. Both of them are currently fearing for the worse.
“You know the code for the garage?” Kai asks as they walk down the cement slope to the closed garage door. Taehyun nods. 1677. He punches each number in carefully, and the both of them stand stalk still as the door raises slowly.
“Don’t pull out your gun until I do, okay?” Kai says softly. Taehyun nods again. He knows he always, pardon the pun, jumps the gun at when to pull out his weapons. He’s either too fast or too slow. He likes following Kai’s lead. He trusts him.
They step into the silent garage, their shoes clicking against the cement. It’s big, the area, with flickering bright white lights attached to the ceiling. A really welcoming atmosphere.
“Kai-yah…if we get there and he’s, I, if he’s not okay, I don’t, I don’t know….” Taehyun takes a shuddery breath.
“Hey, hey, hey,” Kai’s voice comes out rushed, “You need to calm down. It’s going to be okay. Trust me. Please.”
He reaches down and squeezes Taehyun’s hand, just for a second.
-
Beomgyu’s there when they turn the corner into a smaller groove in the parking garage. He’s there, and so are the four other people. There are two men and two women. And Beomgyu is there, and he’s alive. Taehyun wants to fall to his knees and start sobbing. Instead, he bows politely and waits for Kai to make the first move.
It’s weirdly quiet. Taehyun can’t stop staring at Beomgyu. He doesn’t look good. His hands are behind his back, and Taehyun’s assuming they’re tied because when the fuck has Beomgyu ever stood like that. He’s slouched over a bit, leaning forward just a bit too much for it to be considered normal. He has one person on each side of him, holding him there, not tightly, but making their presence known.
His long hair is covering most of his face, but even then, Taehyun can make out the ugly black eye he has on the right side of his face. His lip is puffy too, and there’s a cut on in. Taehyun blinks back tears.
One of the men in front starts speaking rapidly to Kai, and Taehyun has to snap out of his daze to keep up with what’s being said. The gist is this, they’re returning Beomgyu safe and sound, but won’t hesitate to do something of equal value to Jooho’s people again. The man doesn't stop frowning at them the entire time he speaks.
Kai thanks him profusely, but Taehyun can see how hard his jaw is set. Taehyun wants to whip out his gun out and start shooting. He wants to absolutely pull the trigger, aimed directly at this guy’s skull. But they won’t do that. That’s dangerous. And stupid. They need Beomgyu, and they need to leave, that’s it.
The woman beside Beomgyu pitches him forward, and he stumbles a bit. Kai moves on instinct, practically catching the full weight of the upper half of his body in his arms. Taehyun runs hurriedly to Beomgyu’s side, and Kai shoots him a glance. Taehyun can’t tell exactly what he’s saying, but can see the fear in Kai’s eyes.
The man suddenly starts speaking in English to Kai, too quick for Taehyun to keep up with. Kai circles around Beomgyu, helping untie his hands as he listens to what the man is saying. Taehyun can’t focus on the conversation, too busy staring at Beomgyu with a hard glare. None of them say anything. Taehyun’s too scared to touch him, too frightened that if he does, it’ll hurt too much.
Kai swears, and one of the women flinches, stepping forward. Taehyun’s eyes are darting back and forth, but Beomgyu lets out a deep breath and brings his hands out in front of him. They’re shaking.
Kai spins around and responds to the man, also in English. He doesn’t sound happy.
“Hyung,” Taehyun whispers staring at Beomgyu, his voice hoarse, “hyung.”
Their eyes met, and Beomgyu’s mouth is a hard thin line. Taehyun wants to drag his thumb across his lips, smoothing them in a smile. Smoothing the cuts away. Instead, Beomgyu says nothing.
“Kay, we’re leaving,” Kai says in Korean, his voice hushed.
Taehyun throws a glance and the four people, trying to make his face as expressionless as possible. He’s fuming, to be honest. But, at least he didn’t have to use his gun. And Beomgyu’s alive. And safe. It’s all going to be okay.
-
Beomgyu needed help walking to the car, getting in the car, and now getting out of the car. He’s like a child, dazed and confused, having to steady himself with every step. Taehyun is fighting back tears because, fuck, Beomgyu is normally so strong and stable. He knows everything, all the answers to Taehyun’s stupid inquiries and questions. And now he just seems so broken.
Taehyun’s already planning some sort of revenge ploy when Kai politely tells him he can take Beomgyu from here and get him clean up. Taehyun knows this is code for Kai telling him to go into the bathroom and have the breakdown he’s been keeping in for the past hour, then come out and help. Taehyun only nods.
It’s stupid, crying alone in a bathroom, but Taehyun doesn’t know what to do other than that. He can hear Kai puttering around in the kitchen, no doubt fixing Beomgyu up. Chan is gone, without any real explanation. The house is theirs for the next 24 hours. Then, it’s back to Seoul.
So Taehyun sits on the edge of the tub, sniffling into his hands because he sucks with emotions and doesn’t know what to do now that the person he cares about the most in the world is hurt beyond his repair. The crying does help, though. Taehyun stands and splashes water on his face, trying to put on a presentable face. There’s a knock at the door, and Taehyun opens it to find Kai, wiping what looks like blood off of his hands with a cloth. Taehyun swallows.
“Can we get in here for a bit?” Kai asks softly.
“Yes, of course,” Taehyun replies, “Sorry, I can get out now.”
“Don’t apologize,” Kai giggles. He pats Taehyun on the shoulder. Taehyun steps into the hallway and pokes around, looking for Beomgyu. He can’t find him and assumes he’s in the kitchen. Instead, he lets Kai know he’s going to take a quick walk. To try to clear his head.
-
Entering back into the apartment is suffocating. Now it all seems real – the situation at hand. The fact that he actually has to talk to Beomgyu now. And get the full report from Kai. Then go straight back to work. As if nothing too life-changing has happened. Taehyun’s whole body aches.
He quietly makes his way into the first bedroom, hearing Kai’s music coming from the second one. Beomgyu’s lying in a bundle on the bed, blankets pulled all the way up to his chin. Taehyun pauses for only a moment, then slips into the bed, lifting the blankets up so he can get under the covers as well.
Beomgyu’s facing Taehyun, and his eyes flutter open, letting out a yawn. Taehyun pulls his bent legs against his chest, trying not to think about the fact that he’s attempting to make himself look and feel as small as possible. He pulls an arm out from under the blankets and brushes a strand of hair away from Beomgyu’s eyes.
They’re both silent for what seems like entirely too long. Taehyun’s chest hurts, and he feels like if he tries to say anything, he’s going to burst into tears. So instead, he keeps stroking Beomgyu’s head and hair, making sure to tuck the longer pieces behind his ears. Beomgyu smiles appreciatively.
“You doing okay, Taehyun-ah?” Beomgyu says softly.
Taehyun chokes on nothing, pulling his other arm up to cough into his fist. He’s not going to start crying again.
“I should be asking you that, hyung.”
“Well, you first,” Beomgyu mumbles into his pillow. He closes his eyes again, and something tugs in Taehyun’s chest – not sadness this time, more like a feeling of longing.
“I’m doing okay. It’s just scary when you’re hurt because,” Taehyun clears his throat, “that’s the great thing about you. You’re never hurt.”
Beomgyu smiles bigger this time, opening his eyes to look at Taehyun. “I’m glad you think that way, Taehyun-ah.” Taehyun-ah, Taehyun-ah, Taehyun-ah. Just the way Beomgyu says his name makes his heart ache.
Beomgyu shifts, pulling himself closer to Taehyun until he’s resting his forehead on Taehyun’s chest, both of them still lying on their sides. Taehyun stretches his legs out, and they tangle with Beomgyu’s. He lets out a shaky breath. He can feel Beomgyu’s steady breathing tickle his t-shirt. Maybe things are going to be okay.
“I’m. I’m going to be fine,” Beomgyu says after a pause. His voice sounds strained. “I just have a few cuts and bruises.”
“There was a lot of blood on Kai’s hands,” Taehyun shoots back immediately.
“Oh, boo. He’s too dramatic. It wasn’t that bad.”
The last thing Taehyun wants to do is argue, so he lets the subject drop. He just hopes Beomgyu isn’t lying to him. And he doesn’t think he is – just omitting some facts. Which is a very Beomgyu thing to do. He’s an expert at only telling Taehyun certain details of a situation, details that pertinent to him but leaving everything else in the dark. It's to protect Taehyun most of the time. It makes sense – Beomgyu doesn’t like to hurt people unless he has to. And he knows how fragile Taehyun can get.
“They tied me to practically every chair I sat in,” Beomgyu suddenly continues, a sad laugh bubbling out of him. “I wasn’t expecting them to trust me or anything, but after Day 2, it was like, how would I escape? They didn’t give me anything to eat, it was constant questioning, constant picking and poking, I had absolutely no energy left. And yet they still locked me into place wherever we went.”
Taehyun is trying to steady his breaths because he knows Beomgyu can feel his heartbeat through his shirt. His head is pressed right against where his heart is. He can’t cry over this, and he can’t freak out. Beomgyu’s safe now.
“What did they ask you about?” One thing Taehyun knows is that Beomgyu likes to talk through things. He will explain every detail of whatever he’s just done if Taehyun’s willing to listen. And right now, Taehyun is open to giving him any and everything he needs.
“Stuff about locations. About Jooho mostly, where he’s stationed, where he lives. They found out about his condo in Beijing somehow and spent a whole afternoon going over that with me. It got pretty violent at some points,” Beomgyu says, sounding surprisingly calm. Taehyun wonders if he’s going to break down.
Beomgyu suddenly lets out this little squeak, and Taehyun can’t tell if it’s a laugh or a cry for help, but the next thing Beomgyu says shuts him up immediately.
“They asked me about you, too.”
Taehyun squeezes his eyes shut, trying not to have a big reaction. Because right now, what Beomgyu needs is comfort, someone to talk to and someone to keep him company. But Taehyun really wants to go back to the underground parking lot and put a bullet through everyone’s head that was involved. He’ll get to it, eventually.
“Did you let anything slip?” Taehyun asks, half-joking. Because what this conversation definitely needs is some humour.
“No,” Beomgyu huffs out, “No, and I tried so hard. They kept giving me that shit that loosens your tongue, fogs your brain up basically, makes you want to tell the truth. And I kept reminding myself, Beomgyu-ah, if you tell them anything, Kang Taehyun is going to kill you. As if they weren’t planning on killing me already if I didn’t tell them what they wanted to hear. It was weird but, I didn’t crack,” Beomgyu pauses, “I need to keep you safe.”
Taehyun nods. He presses a kiss to the top of Beomgyu’s head.
“Thank you for always taking care of me,” he whispers. There’s a shift in Taehyun’s brain then, that he wants to say the words I love you. They’re slowly crawling up his throat, but he pushes them down. Never has he had the inclination to say that before. But now, lying in this bed in Gwangju buried under all these blankets, the confession is threatening to spill out.
Beomgyu doesn’t reply, but Taehyun gets it. They understand what’s left unsaid. It’s going to be okay.
-
When Taehyun wakes up the next morning, he’s alone. He stretches in bed, extending his limbs to their full extent before pulling himself up and padding gently across the floor. He can hear the shower on, as well as someone moving around the kitchen. He yawns and makes his way over to the fridge. Kai seems to be packaging up food, and Taehyun suddenly wonders who supplies the food in the refrigerator. How exactly does this safehouse work? He’s too tired to ask.
Kai smiles at him and asks if he wants any food. Taehyun shakes his head. He’s still not hungry.
“We’ll talk more when we’re back home, but… you’re good, right? You talked to him last night, right?” Kai asks gently, bending down to get something from under the sink.
Taehyun nods before realizing Kai isn’t looking at him right now. “Yes, we talked.”
Kai doesn’t press any further, and a few minutes later, Beomgyu enters, his hair still wet.
“Your hair is still wet, hyung,” Taehyun says, reaching an arm out, “You’re going to drip all over the floor.”
Beomgyu rolls his eyes, but he sits down beside Taehyun and lets himself be fretted over. Taehyun gets up and goes to find a smaller towel from the bathroom, returning and attempting to dry Beomgyu’s hair while Beomgyu pours over some files Kai has placed in front of him. Taehyun doesn’t snoop, but he does read a few lines, curious to see what needs to be looked over so urgently.
It’s disappointingly stuff Taehyun doesn’t understand. People and places he’s never heard of. So, he chooses to focus on the hair drying and less on the super-secret documents at hand. Kai looks over at them, a bemused expression on his face, but says nothing. Taehyun sticks his tongue out at him, and Kai laughs.
“What?” Beomgyu asks, twisting around to look at Taehyun.
“Nothing hyung,” Taehyun says, smiling sweetly.
Beomgyu rolls his eyes (he’s doing a lot of that this morning, Taehyun notices) and shifts so he can run his hand through his hair. It’s almost all dry, so Taehyun goes back to the bathroom, hanging up the towel and returns to the kitchen.
There is definitely a noticeable difference in the way Beomgyu’s moving around. Taehyun can tell, by how raw the skin around his wrists are and how he winces when he opens the fridge to get some banana milk. Taehyun can see the gashes around his hips and back when he stands on his tippy-toes and his shirt hikes up, reaching a glass for Kai. Taehyun doesn’t know if he should say anything or just ignore it, like how Kai’s ignoring it.
Healing is something that can take quite a while, and yet Taehyun doesn’t know what to do with himself. He can’t be patient if Beomgyu’s still in pain.
-
Kai drives them back the whole way. He doesn’t even suggest Taehyun switch with him halfway through, and Taehyun can’t thank him enough for it. Beomgyu’s sleeping, pressed up against him. He seemed so fidgety at the beginning of the ride, constantly readjusting himself. It wasn’t until Taehyun suggested he try to take a nap that he finally seemed to calm down.
The music Kai’s playing is nice. The calmer pop songs fill Taehyun’s mind as he watches the buildings zip past. They have a meeting set up with Jooho tomorrow, and Beomgyu’s out of work indefinitely. Which means, for the first time since he started working for Jooho, he won’t be prepped with the help of Beomgyu.
It hurts to think about. Taehyun squeezes his eyes shut and cards his fingers randomly through Beomgyu’s hair.
“It’s getting quite long, isn’t it?” Beomgyu mumbles, sitting up a little, still pressed to Taehyun’s side. Taehyun startles, assuming Beomgyu was still asleep and giggles at the plastered hair on Beomgyu’s forehead and the red mark on his neck from the seat belt digging into him.
“Yes, but you shouldn’t cut it just yet.”
“Why not?” Beomgyu asks, rubbing his eyes.
“Because I like it like this.”
Beomgyu barks out a laugh, and Taehyun can see Kai smile in the rear-view mirror. He beams at the older man.
“Okay, I’ll think about it. Just for you.”
“Thanks, hyung.”
Beomgyu takes Taehyun’s hand in his and holds it tight, settling back down again. Beomgyu starts humming along to the song that’s playing, and Taehyun feels himself smile for real. Things will definitely be okay.