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It was a typical night really. Nothing extraordinary. Bruce was sitting on a ledge, keeping watch while John (Joker in his ‘disguise’) took a walk around the block, being much more focused when actually moving.
John had always been bubbly and lively. Always on his feet, rarely able to sit still, let alone keep his hands off of Bruce, which is why at first Bruce didn’t think anything about the bony hands wrapping around him in an instance, the body throwing itself against Bruce’s back almost shoving them both off the roof and of course the high pitched squeal which always escaped John when he hugged Bruce.
Except this wasn’t John's typical noise. This wasn’t even John's voice.
“Bats!” The person behind Bruce yelled, only for Bruce to quickly get up, turning around and looking into the face of a man similar to John, but at the same time vastly different.
“Wha-” Bruce started, only for the man currently hugging him to press his face into Bruce’s chest.
“I missed you” Okay, ouch, but that didn’t answer Bruce’s question. Softly taking the man's arms, Bruce wanted to shove him away, before a voice Bruce knew well interrupted them.
“I leave you for a few minutes and you find another clown? I’m disappointed!” John laughed, not his typical nervous one, but a genuine laugh.
Bruce, shoving away the man in front of him, simply stared between the two green haired men for a moment. The person who had just hugged him was a lot paler than John, his hair poorly gelled back, as well as his suit having an actual tie, let alone the different make up. He did seem to be the same height as John.
“Who are you?” Bruce asked, the equally confused expression on the other's face indicated he didn’t know what was going on either.
“He’s mine” A dark voice boomed from the side, all heads turning towards it. Bruce, to his surprise, more or less in all honesty, now stared into the face of a second Batman.
“I think we should talk about this somewhere else”
Bruce had never thought a car ride this awkward could exist, but the heavy silence which hung in the air up until the point where the Batmobile made the steep descent into the Batcave and Johns counterpart was practically glued to the window, wowing at all the things he saw, much like John his first time down here, was more than just crushing.
Bruce swiftly got out, the second Batman, who had called shotgun before they had even approached the batmobile, getting out in an almost identical way, while John and his counterpart couldn’t be more different. John was as calm as ever, a soft smile on his face, a smile Bruce simply adored, while this other Joker started running around, touching everything he could touch.
“This is where you live?! Oh this is so cool Bats! How come you’ve never shown meeee!?” Joker (it’s what Bruce decided to call him now, Joker and John, for distinction) ran towards his Batman, who was noticeably shorter now that Bruce actually paid attention to it, seemingly wanting to hug him in the same manner he had hugged Bruce earlier. Yet, Batman simply crossed his arms, signalling that he didn’t want to be hugged, something Joker weirdly enough respected. If Bruce had the audacity to refuse a hug from John, John would probably call an ambulance thinking Bruce is sick or something.
Joker had almost a sad expression as his arms dropped to his sides, but Bruce simply decided to ignore it. He needed to focus on other things now.
Walking over to the Batcomputer, Bruce sat down, already reaching up to take off his cowl when he remembered something.
Luckily, the other Batman was right next to him, John and Joker on the other side of the cave, John no doubt showing Joker some of the contraptions hidden in the Batcave.
“Why did you bring him here?” Batman asked, nodding his head towards Joker.
“What do you want me to do with him, have him run loose in the city?” Bruce shot back, leaning back in his chair, turning slightly towards his counterpart.
“I’m not talking about my Joker, I’m talking about yours. Why is he so familiar with all this?” Batman gestured around them, but Bruce just had to hold back a laugh.
“Oh, John is familiar with a lot more than just the Batcave. Speaking of, does yours know? Who we are?” Batman shook his head, so Bruce simply nodded, turning his chair around a full 180.
“John”, he yelled, quickly grabbing the attention of both clowns. “Why don’t you show the other Joker the perimeter?” John's smile instantly grew as he nodded, grabbing Joker's arm and pulling him towards a side entrance Bruce had installed just in case.
When he was sure both men had left, he swiftly reached up, pulling his cowl off, placing it on the desk next to him. Out of the corner of his eye he could make out how Batman didn’t seem to move even a single inch.
“You can take yours off too, you know” Bruce mentioned, turning towards his grumpy alter ego.
“No.” Well, at least the man gave simple answers.
“Alright. Any idea how you got here?” Another simple no, another awkward moment of silence afterwards.
“Right… How about we run a blood test? Maybe, whatever caused this left some traces in your blood” Bruce got up, pointing towards the chair, a sign for Batman to just sit down. Yet the other simply stared at him.
“That sounds stupid and unplausible” Alright, now Bruce just felt insulted.
“You got any better ideas?” Crossing his arms, he watched his counterpart do the same, both men staring at each other for a quiet moment.
“No” Batman, although begrudgingly, sat down, already working on taking off his sleeve to have some blood drawn.
“I’ll go get everything”
When Bruce came back, he was almost surprised to see Batman slouch in the chair, his naked arm perched to the side, almost like a grumpy child. So far that was also how he acted.
Bruce knew trying to start a conversation wouldn’t work, so he simply stayed silent as he prepared everything, only encountering a problem when he moved the needle even remotely close to Batman’s arm.
“Woah! Alfred isn’t going to do this?” Batman pulled his arm away, looking at Bruce with an almost shocked expression. Standing still for a moment, Bruce realized hearing Alfreds name still hurt, even after all this time.
“No. He isn’t”
Another moment of silence as Batman sighed annoyed, stretching his arm back out towards Bruce.
“What do you have a butler for if he doesn’t even do this” Bruce really didn’t appreciate the way this version of him was talking about Alfred. He didn’t let it disturb him though, swiftly taking the blood he needed to.
“He’s not here” He simply stated, putting the vial into the Batcomputers analyzer, starting to clean up afterwards.
“What do you mean?” Batman was busy putting his suit back on correctly, apparently too busy to even look at Bruce.
“He left over a year ago. He couldn’t take it anymore and honestly, I don’t blame him. It’s better this way” Bruce didn’t look at Batman either, but he could feel the now intense stare directed at him.
“Oh.” A quick pause, followed by “I’m sorry”
“It’s fine. We should focus on what got you here”
“So” Batman started after another period of silence, by now sitting on the floor next to Bruce, who had been simply checking the news, waiting for the analysis to be done. “You and Joker work together? That’s just weird dude”
What did he just call Bruce?
“Don’t call me dude, but yeah, John and I work together. We actually do a lot more than just that” Bruce crossed his arms, turning towards Batman, who was looking up at him, the confusion on his face reminding Bruce of a small child. Did he look like that in costume as well? Because if he did, he seriously needed to overthink his design choices.
“I’ll regret asking but I have no idea what you’re talking about” The annoyed voice mixed with the already slightly disgusted look made Bruce chuckle as he pulled off his left glove, proudly presenting the engagement ring, it’s counterpart no doubt being admired by John and Joker as well.
“We’re engaged. The wedding is set for May next year. John really wanted a spring wedding.” Bruce smiled, looking down at the ring before putting on the glove again, almost having to laugh again at Batman's disgusted look.
“I really regret asking”
“What about you and your Joker?” Bruce laughed slightly, leaning back in his chair, not really expecting an actual answer. “Your Joker seems pretty obsessed with you”
“Don’t even begin to think there is something going on between us! There is no ‘us’! He’s just another villain that I fight, nothing more” Batman was the one to cross his arms this time, almost pouting at Bruce even alluding to something in his eyes so atrocious.
“Pretty defensive for ‘nothing going on’ don’t you think?” Bruce stared for a moment, waiting for some snarky reply which evidently wouldn’t come, only to smile and turn back towards the Batcomputer. “Whatever, it’s none of my business really. All I can say is that the way your Joker threw himself at me was pretty much equal to how John hugs me” Out of the corner of his eye Bruce could see Batman's stern facade breaking for a moment, a childlike wonder on his face, as if what Bruce said had hit a deep nerve somewhere. Bruce would have said something hadn’t it been for the ping of the Batcomputer, announcing the analysis to be done.
Outside during all that, John was showing his counterpart around some of the outskirts of Gotham City, a place where they not just had a beautiful view of Gotham’s skyline, but also a wonderful view of Wayne Manor. Sometimes it was still hard for John to believe he was marrying into the Wayne family. He wondered if Riddler would still make fun of him now. John really didn’t miss the guy.
“Soooo, you work for the Bat?” His counterpart shot at him, something almost akin to disgust in the other's voice. Ooooooh no, he would not be talking like that to John.
“We’re partners! And we do more than just work together!!” John held out his hand, excitement written all over his face.
Joker on the other hand stared at the engagement ring for a moment, the gears in his head visibly turning, before his face lit up.
“OH” He started jumping on the spot, laughing loudly and taking John's hand, admiring the ring more closely. John couldn’t help but jump excitedly as well, squealing and flapping his free hand, both men simply in awe of the ring.
It took a few moments of excited noises and even more excited jumping before they calmed down enough to talk again, Joker being the one to quickly take the word.
“My Batsy always just says we aren’t even a thing. It’s so unfair! I give everything I have and he can’t even admit to me being his number one bad guy!” John laughed, unable to think of anything fitting he could say right now.
“Why are you laughing, this isn’t funny” Joker looked at him with a serious expression, something only making John laugh more.
“Sorry! I always laugh when I’m nervous or don’t know what to say..” Taking a few deep breaths, John tried to quickly come up with something helpful to say. “Well… sometimes when Bruce and I fight, he has trouble articulating his feelings and-”
“Woah wait, Bruce? I thought we were talking about Batman?” Both men stared into each other's confused faces, only for John to realize he had fucked up. Apparently this version of him didn’t know Bruce was Bats.
“I-...”
Turning around, John made a run for it, followed down the Batmobiles entry way by his counterpart, both almost falling down on their way.
“Bruuuuuuuce!!!” John yelled, somehow managing to get down into the cave in one piece, rushing towards the Batcomputer where he saw his Bruce sitting without his cowl on, while the other Batman was still fully suited up.
“Baaaaaaats!!!” His counterpart followed in the exact same way, only to run up to his dark knight.
Both Batmans were silent for a moment, before realization hit Bruce.
“You tattletailed again, didn’t you John?” John eyed the floor, nervously picking at his jacket, before nodding.
“It was an accident I swear!” John didn’t look up, but Bruce simply shook his head.
“I should be angry at you, you know? You need to be more careful.” Nodding, John still fidgeted with his jacket, so Bruce simply grabbed John’s hand, reassuring him that it was okay.
All the while Joker stood in front of Batman, jumping up and down, flapping his hands, telling Batman to take off the mask.
“I’m not- you know what Bruce Wayne looks like!” Batman crossed his arms, taking a step back, the back of his thighs now hitting the desk.
“But I wanna see you in costume!! Come on!!” The clown kept jumping, getting closer to Batman with each word.
“I’m not taking off my mask! Now back off Joker!” Leaning back, Batman made it obvious he really didn’t appreciate this amount of in your face.
“Oh come oooooon!” Joker whined “I know who you are now anyway! Let me see!” Somehow, Joker managed to get even closer, close enough for Batman to lash out and push him back.
“I said back off!” He had shoved Joker hard enough for the other to fall to the ground, John quick to help the clown back up. Not answering any of John's questions, Joker simply stared at Batman, hurt written all over his face.
“Maybe it’s best if you just take him upstairs John. Batman and Joker will probably want to spend the night here anyways, right?” Bruce tried his best at calming the anger heavy in the air, looking at Batman, who just crossed his arms again, turning towards the Batcomputer.
“Whatever, just find out what brought us here and get us back. This sucks”
Running more than just a simple blood test, Bruce was amazed but also not surprised how none of the tests showed him anything that would help this situation. As far as they both knew now, the Batman from whatever dimension he came from and Bruce were the exact same person.
What was weird was how no matter how similar their results were, this other Batman still looked vastly different from Bruce. He was shorter, his face (after Bruce could finally convince him to take off the cowl) was softer in a weird way, as well as seemingly being less muscly than Bruce, at least from what Bruce could tell simply looking at the man in armor.
Luckily they didn’t have to go through the tedious process of taking off Batman's entire armor, as most of the test they did could be run with the help of the Batcomputer inside Batman's suit.
Bruce really wasn’t sure what John and the other Joker were up to, but judging by the sheer silence in the house as Bruce led Batman to his bedroom for the night, as well as the non apparent destruction, Bruce had hopes that maybe nothing got broken.
“If you don’t mind sharing clothes, I’d just get you a shirt and some sweatpants from my closet, they should fit you after all.” Bruce suggested as he stood in the doorway, seeing Batman inspecting the room before nodding. He didn’t want to make the other man uncomfortable, so Bruce simply closed the door and left to get what he wanted, announcing himself back at the room with a knock on the door, patiently waiting for the raspy “Come in”. After all, if Alfred had taught him one thing, it was manners.
Walking in, Bruce made sure to close the door behind him again, holding out the clothes for his counterpart to take.
Batman didn’t say anything, simply nodding before throwing the shirt on the bed and putting on the gray sweatpants.
This was the first time Bruce got a good look at the other without the armor and to his surprise, not only did the other have a noticeably big, rectangular scar on his right arm, but also two scar strips on his chest.
“Mastectomy?” Bruce asked, crossing his arms, hoping he wasn’t overstepping any boundaries.
Batman looked at him for a moment, before continuing with the pants.
“Subcutaneous mastectomy. Top surgery” He answered, stretching out his arms before grabbing the white shirt Bruce had brought.
That would explain the massive scar on his arm as well as why this Batman was shorter than Bruce. Interesting.
“What?” Batman seemingly caught him staring, so Bruce just shrugged it off.
“Nothing. Just wondering how Dad took that news” For a moment Batman looked at him again, before giving an answer Bruce didn’t think he’d want to hear.
“Dad was my biggest supporter. Even paid off every press representative he could find to erase my deadname from all media.” It seriously came as a surprise to Bruce, taking everything he knew about his father. “I miss him.”
“I miss them too.” The two men looked each other in the eyes for a moment before Bruce simply smiled.
“I’ll leave you to it then. Goodnight”
Batman just nodded, so Bruce walked out, making sure to close the door. These could be an interesting next few days.
Batman didn’t think he’d be woken up in the middle of the night, let alone that the person who woke him up would be the insane clown that somehow landed here with him.
“Joker?” Batman asked, turning on the bedside lamp, his eyes immediately hurting from the bright light.
“Hey Batsy… I was wondering if maybe I could… I don’t know, sleep here? Please?” Joker's voice was quiet, timid, like that of a small child seeking comfort in their parent’s room.
“Why?” Batman asked, genuinely curious why Joker would want to sleep in here, in the same bed as Batman.
“It sounds stupid, I know, but I had a nightmare. Normally I have Harley with me to calm me but this time I woke up alone and… I’m scared, Bats” A moment of silence before Batman grunted, throwing the blanket aside and turning around, an obvious invitation for Joker to just get in.
He could hear Joker's happy noises, could feel the other lying down, cuddling into the shared blanket before even turning the light off.
“Thanks Brucie” Joker purred, only to earn another annoyed grunt.
“Don’t call me Brucie. We’re still enemies” He could feel Joker turn around, sudden cold hands on his back which almost made Batman jump out of the bed.
“We are?” Joker's voice was excited, as it was everytime they talked about something like this.
Thinking for a moment, Batman sighed, turning around, wrapping his arms around Joker, trying his best to warm this pure corpse of a person.
“Yeah, we are.”