Chapter Text
“I’d offer to cook tonight… you seem pretty upset though. Don’t wanna add to it.”
Through her tears, Natasha looked up to see Peggy Carter - her girlfriend - standing in the doorway of the Avengers meeting room, looking at her with the same amount of love she had given her over these past seven years. Heck, maybe even longer than that…
Time really just wasn’t a thing that mattered anymore.
Nat took a shaky breath in, forcing a smile as a tear slipped down her cheek. “Hey precious,” she said, trying to appear fine.
“‘Ello love,” Peggy said, somehow able to genuinely smile through more than a third of these past five years from hell.
Peggy gestured to the futon near Nat, and the assassin made no move to stop her from joining this pity party she had begun for herself.
Peggy walked over and moved her black dancing shoes out of the way from where she had left them last time she was here, gently laying them on the floor. The metal bottoms made a soft click-clack as she set them down on the hardwood flooring… oh, what she wouldn’t give for another night where they could have a proper date, dancing the night away…
After she sat, Peggy patted the cushion next to herself, and Nat sighed… she honestly didn’t even feel like moving.
But it was worth it.
Worth it for Peggy’s touch.
She never even thought touch would be something she craved, even after she and Peggy officially became an item. But now… gosh, it was like a lifeline after not having it for even a week or a few days.
The assassin rose to her feet, her socks pushing against the floor and making a soft creak as she walked over to join the captain on the futon.
Instead of taking the cushion next to her, however, Nat settled on Peggy’s lap for the best seat in the house. This made both of their lips twitch upward…
A tragically rare sight these days.
“I know… I need to move on,” Nat muttered, trying to bury her head in the crook between Peggy’s shoulder and neck. “I… I need to-”
“Love, please, don’t torture yourself like that,” Peggy muttered, kissing her hair. “You know that you can’t force yourself to move on… I should know that better than anyone. Unfortunately, the pain is going to stay as long as it will stay… you only add to it by trying to push it away.”
Nat nodded, letting out a shaky sigh. Peggy could feel her t-shirt dampening with her lover’s tears… she never would dream of liking Nat crying.
But, at least she wasn’t bottling these emotions up. God only knows how unhealthy that would be…
“It’s not even what I’ve lost anymore… it… i-it’s what happened to what I didn’t lose,” she muttered, trying to hold herself back.
It was slowly failing, though. Nat was letting out choked sighs, and Peggy could feel the tears falling from her eyes onto her neck.
Peggy knew all too well about Barton practically losing his mind… the brief contact they had made with him right before he had gone mad back in 2018, well… It was nothing short of chilling and heartbreaking.
Especially for his best friend.
Peggy found it quite hard to believe anyone had suffered more in this time than Nat. The poor thing… She wanted nothing more than to be able to tell her honestly that everything was going to be okay.
But she also didn’t like lying to her girlfriend.
Peggy brought her lips to Nat’s forehead, and placed a kiss so soft that the touch barely resonated. But Nat clearly felt it, because she smiled a tiny bit… that was a wonderful sight.
“No one’s telling you to move on, love,” Peggy said. “No one’s gonna make you… but you’ve got to remember, not all was lost five years ago. I know how hard that is, but… call me a woman of faith if you will. But I believe, with all of my heart, we’ll all be okay… someday.”
Nat’s throat let out a faint noise at that.
“I wanna believe you so bad,” she said. “I’m sorry if I can’t right now…”
“That’s okay, love,” Peggy assured her. “How about I just hold you for now? Is that okay?”
Nat let out a deep breath she didn’t even know she had held in. “Yeah… I’d really like that.”
“Okay.”
Peggy made sure her girlfriend was comfortable in her lap, bringing her head down to plant a few more kisses. She toed off her Under Armour’s, flopping them down next to her dancing shoes. A soft hum made its presence known from her chest, and Nat could’ve swore that, for a moment, everything felt okay…
It was an unknown amount of time before either of them spoke again.
It could have been as much as a few days, or as little as ten minutes - the concept didn’t really make much sense anymore.
“I… I don’t wanna ask too much-”
“My love, you could ask me for the world, and I’ll give all in my power to get it for you,” Peggy said softly. “What do you want, sweetheart?”
Nat blushed faintly. “I’d… I’d like to watch you dance again sometime.”
Peggy smiled. “I’d love to dance for you, my love.”
As Peggy prepared to get up and grab her dancing shoes, however, a notification came up on the screen from FRIDAY - security had been tripped at the front door…
“You order dinner?” Nat asked.
“You know I don’t know how to do that,” Peggy remarked.
Nat let out a small chuckle at the “bite-back” Peggy gave to her. It had been a while since the captain had danced for her, but it had been even longer since they were both able to laugh at something.
“FRIDAY, pull up the footage from the front door.”
The AI did as the assassin had requested, and they saw a guy standing in front of the camera that they both swore something looked familiar about - behind him was one of the shittiest vans ever.
“Hey, t-this is Scott! Scott Lang! E-Ever heard of Ant Man?! Tha-That’s me! I’m here to help!”
“Is this old footage?” Peggy asked. “What do you call it, a playback?”
“No… this is the front door,” Nat muttered.