Work Text:
Bang.
Tim jolted awake, long-asleep associations and long-buried memories pressing against the front of xyr skull.
Where is xe?
For all of 10 seconds, xe’s rolling sideways, kicking at blankets and pillows and small warm things xe’s too far gone to realize are octokittens as xe struggles. Trying to get off xyr bunk, to get xyr gun before xe’s shot before xe’s gassed or killed or captured , before whoever shot that bullet killed him.
And then xyr hand hits metal, not dusty moon mud or sand, and a distressed mrrp of something nearby makes him freeze.
“Fuck-” thats Jonny. “Christ Tim.”
His eyes whirr open and as xyr face clicks and warps xe crashes back to reality.
Jonny’s standing in the entrance to the common room Tim had commandeered for the night. A gun xe doesn’t recognize in his hands. Which is odd, Tim thinks through the haze of panic, xe knows every gun on this ship and if xe didn't that is a problem for as soon as xyr heart stops racing.
“Jonny?” Tim asks. Xe thinks xe might look a bit deranged. Xyr half hanging off the couch, and xyr certain at least 10 octokittens are oozing around him.
“Yeah. Shit.” Jonny took a halfhearted step towards xyr, then back. “You uh, alright?”
“Nice way to wake me.” Tim groans, sarcasm dripping from his voice. Xe tries to drag xyrself back onto the couch, but xyr quite tangled in the blankets. Xyr heart hurts it's racing so fast. “Thanks. Really. I wasn't having a fucked up dream or anything.” Xe doesn’t quite sneer it, but Jonny’s eyes shrink. He crosses his arms, frowning. “In fact, I was sleeping well for once.”
“I didn't fucking know you were in here.”
“So, what, you just.. fire at random? In empty rooms where there are no threats? Or like, people? Just Aurora to hurt?” Xe manages to right himself on the couch. Xe sit up. Tugging a blanket around xyr shoulders.
“Fuck off.” Jonny’s voice is low then, edging towards dangerous, and Tim doesn’t exactly want to fight right now. In fact, xe sort of wants to start crying, or curl up and try and convince xyr body that there isn’t any imminent threat, or some bullshit that might even be productive. Xe wants xyr heart to stop racing, wants to go back to sleep.
But xyr heart is racing, and xe feels like xyr about to snap .
“What are you going to do Jonny? Hm?” Tim is properly sneering now, xyr eyes shifting and zooming on Jonny with a jaw-grinding creak that almost makes xyr wince. “Shoot me? Are you gonna be even more of an asshole than you already are? Hm?”
“I didn't even fucking hit you.” Jonny is puffing up like a cat and this is where Tim knows xe should back off to prevent this from spiraling into something stupid, into a fight that lasts ages, this is where xe should tell Jonny to fuck off so they can both forget this happened.
This is also where Tim cracks.
“Yeah, you only triggered a flashback. Which is so much better. Honestly, I'd have preferred if you'd hit me .”
Jonny’s eyes flash and Tim braces himself, not even trying to hide the flinch as xe waits to be shot to die again.
It doesn’t come.
Jonny’s new gun, whatever it is, is trained on him. His eyes are cold.
Tim knows xe should shut up. He knows. “Shoot me then. Kill me. You want to.” Tim leers and xe’s tense and angry. “You know you do. So shoot me. Shoot me.”
Xe flinches hard when Jonny moves, expecting pain, expecting a bullet to the chest or neck, expecting to bleed out.
But he doesn't shoot. “Tim,” There is a grit to Jonny’s voice, his teeth are clenched. “Don't fucking taunt me.”
Xyr heart is already pounding so hard it hurts he doesn't want to die right now. Xe knows he should shut up but xe can’t.
“You’d love to hurt me, wouldn't you? You want to shoot me and-”
Bang.
Tim flinches, hard, but there is no pain.
The bullet is embedded in one of the chairs, and Jonny is scowling. “Shut up Tim. Jesus Christ. Calm the fuck down.”
Tim is frozen.
Xyr lungs have seized up, xe can't breathe.
Jonny drops the gun, the clang it makes when it hits the ground is enough to make Tim curl over xyr ears. Jonny kicks the gun across the floor. Towards xyr.
He takes what is clearly a deep and measured breath. “Shut up, Tim.” His voice is void of emotion. “Just.. shut up. You're baiting me. Fuck off with that.” Jonny looks upset.
Tim clutches at his throat, trying to just fucking breathe.
“‘M not going to fucking shoot you. If you want to die, shoot your own goddamn self. I didn't mean to shoot it, thought the safety was on. Didn’t see you either. I stole it from a merchant ship thing me and Ashes looted as a gift for you. Do whatever the hell you want with it.”
Jonny walks away, and as soon as he slams the door Tim finds himself capable of breathing again. Xe gasps, clutching xyr throat as xe sobs.
Soon enough xyr hyperventilating, and thats somehow worse. Xyr curled over xyr arms and xyr eyes ache as xe sobs into xyr hands.
Xyr heart is pounding and xe can't fucking breathe right and-
And an octokitten is worming its way into xyr lap.
It baps xyr face and xe clings to it. Hugging it against xyrself.
It purred a rumbling purr that sounded sort of like a tambourine,
Xyr heart is still pounding. Xe can feel every beat in xyr chest like someone is squeezing xyr heart, but at least as xe stroke the octokitten xe find xe can breathe a better.
Xe flops back down, and hugs the octokitten into xyr chest, before burying xyr head into xyr pillow.
Maybe xe should just try to fucking sleep again.
Maybe that will stop xyr heart from pounding so hard.
Maybe.
… Maybe later xe’ll even go apologize to Jonny.