Work Text:
It goes like this.
Ever since Black Whip had first manifested itself during combat training against Class 1-B, he started training harder. It was nothing new, in the sense that he’s gotten used to pushing his limits beyond their artificial threshold, and though it was obviously a challenge, it was nothing he couldn’t handle either. He owed it to everyone - Eri, All Might, Kacchan, the past holders of One For All, everyone - to do his best, just like always.
If Izuku was being honest, things were going great.
Spirits were high and content in UA. Everyone was still excited about how combat training had gone, scholastic proof of just how far they had each come since the start of their first year. Not only that, but Christmas was coming up very soon, and they were all looking forward to that.
So even as Izuku’s rigorous training regime left him feeling a little more exhausted and tired than usual, the exhilaration that came from a robust exercise routine mixed in with the good spirits of himself and those around him, leaving Izuku feeling largely at ease.
There was a lot going on, but no one could be helped by letting his emotions get the best of him, he knew that very well. He was just happy that he was, well, happy.
Then, one day, Izuku stepped into the dorm building after another good training session, and collapsed the instant both feet passed through the threshold.
“Midoriya!” Iida was at his side in an instant, placing a concerned and supporting hand under Izuku’s arm. “What’s the matter? Are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” Izuku said dazedly as he allowed Iida to help him stand upright. He pressed his free hand against his temple. “I think I might’ve overdone it during training today.”
“You must have,” said Iida. “Your hands are shaking.”
“Oh...!” Izuku looked down at his scarred hands. They were indeed trembling. “I honestly hadn’t noticed...”
“Your dedication towards improving yourself has always been admirable, but you mustn't overwork yourself...!” Iida admonished.
“Yeah, you’re right. Thank you, Iida.”
Stumbling slightly over his own feet, Izuku continued further into the dorm. The common area was lively with activity, as usual, but it all faded into the background as Izuku frowned at his still trembling hands. Had he really been pushing himself that hard? It felt like the trembling was starting to spread throughout the rest of his body...
“Hey, Deku!” Uraraka waved from where she was sitting a few of the other girls, smiling brightly. “How’s it going?”
“Hi, Uraraka...!” Izuku smiled and waved back. “I think I overworked myself a bit today, but otherwise, I’m fine.”
Uraraka’s smile faded, and she tilted her head to the side concernedly. “Are you sure...? You don’t look too good...”
“You’re crying!” Ashido exclaimed. “Did you hurt yourself or something?”
“What?” Izuku pressed a few fingers against his cheek and jolted at finding it wet.
‘What the heck?’
“I... I don’t know,” he stammered, staring back down at his hand. “I don’t think I did.”
The trembling was in his chest now, rattling his heart and sternum with enough force to nearly make his teeth chatter.
“Deku, is everything okay?” Uraraka asked, standing up.
“Everything is fine...!” The assertion came out a little higher than Izuku would have liked as he quickly scrubbed his eyes. “I’m probably just tired.”
“Hey, Midoriya…!” Kirishima walked up, looking just as concerned as Uraraka. “You all right, man?”
“Yeah, I’m fine...!”
And he was , wasn’t he? Nothing had happened! Things were doing great! Izuku told himself that as he clutched the front of his jacket in an effort to quell the uncomfortable rattling in his chest.
Kirishima frowned, looking him over. “You sure?”
“Yes...!” Izuku gasped. “I’m just a little overworked, is all!”
He was beginning to draw the attention of everyone else in the common area. That somehow made the rattling and trembling worse. Oh, god, Kacchan was here too.
“I’m gonna go lay down for a little bit!” With that declaration, Izuku rushed towards the dorm rooms. “I’m fine, really...!”
He was already at the elevator before anyone could stop him.
As soon as he was in his dorm room, with the door shut tight behind him, for the second time within the past five minutes, Izuku collapsed.
‘What’s happening?!’ The thought echoed frantically in Izuku’s mind as he fought for breath. ‘I was doing fine!’
In spite of that assertion, tears continued to roll down his face and his hands continued to shake.
‘Dammit… Dammit!’
A choked sob clawed its way out from Izuku’s mouth. Why was this happening? He didn’t understand! Everything had been fine five minutes ago! And yet here he was now, crying on the floor of his dorm room for seemingly no reason.
‘Get it together...!’
Unheeding of his own demands, Izuku’s frustration spilled out of him in an unrelenting rush of tears, gasps, and sobs. It took all his remaining strength not to scream . He could only curl in on himself, trembling hands clutching at rattling chest, and cry.
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...
‘Where am I?’
Izuku opened his eyes and saw a familiar dark plane. On instinct, he reached up towards his mouth. Nothing. Nothing here except for his hands and the top of his head.
“Damn, kid.”
‘That voice...’
Izuku looked up and sure enough, he saw one of the past users of One For All, the original user of Black Whip, looking back down at him. The man’s form was a little hazier than the last time he had appeared, but Izuku could still see him. The stern visage of the man appeared to deepen as he met Izuku’s wide eyes.
“You’ve got a lot knocking around in that heart’a yours, huh?”
Izuku suddenly remembered what this man had told him last time - about keeping tabs on his heart, about the importance of maintaining control over his emotions as well as his body. His hands grabbed at the area where his chest should have been, his eyes stung with the ever familiar presence of tears as Izuku bowed his head.
‘I’m supposed to be getting a better handle on my emotions, and yet I ended up breaking down over nothing...’ Izuku shook his head, eyes clenching tight in dejection and frustration. ‘What is wrong with me?’
“Woah, kid, don’t start crying on me just yet...! It’s not like we’re here to scold you or anything...!”
Izuku returned his teary gaze back up to the past user, who rubbed the back of his shaved head with a sigh.
“Emotions can be as overwhelming as they are powerful,” the past user said. “Sometimes they can build up, and you never even notice. That’s just part’a being human.”
The man looked down at Izuku, and his visage softened. “You’re under a lot of pressure, kid. A lot’s changing, and that’s scary, but we’re all here to remind you that we’re rooting for you.”
The man placed a hand where Izuku’s heart should have been and grinned. “You’ve got a big heart, and that carries with it a special kind of strength. You’re gonna do great, kid.”
As he spoke, the man’s form and voice slowly faded away. Then, he was gone, lost in the ever present movement of the dark landscape.
“So, you’re Toshinori’s successor.”
If Izuku had had a mouth or lungs, he would have gasped as a firm but friendly hand planted itself on top of his head. He turned and...
‘Holy crap...! It’s All Might’s old master!’
The woman smiled - wide, teasing, natural, undeniably familiar - and ruffled Izuku’s hair. “I can see why he chose you. The two of you are kinda crazy.”
Somehow, she seemed even more beautiful now than when Izuku had first caught sight of her amongst all the other past users. Perhaps it was her voice, combined with that ever present smile, both filled with kindness and warmth.
“You’re not smiling,” she chuckled. “Though I suppose that’s hard to do when you don’t have a mouth.”
Izuku shrunk away, hands pawing self-consciously around where his mouth should have been.
“But that’s okay.” The woman placed each of her index fingers on either side of her own mouth, widening her smile brightly. “You got people who are willing to smile for you. Just hang in there.”
And just like the former user of Black Whip, All Might’s old mentor faded away.
It went on like that - each and every one of the past users appeared before Izuku. They were becoming harder to make out, and Izuku couldn’t quite hear what they each had to say to him, but their intent was clear. With every figure Izuku saw, his heart became lighter.
One figure was almost completely formless, and yet Izuku knew with certainty who it was. The figure looked at him and moved as though to put a hand on his shoulder. A bizarre mix of gratitude, wistfulness, and melancholy brought tears back to Izuku’s eyes, and he reached out towards the figure. But the figure was gone before he could grasp at the formless smoke.
“There’s a lot going on inside you.”
Izuku recognised the voice, despite only having heard it once. He had almost been waiting for it. But that didn’t stop his heart from leaping when he looked up and saw a young, sickly man standing before him.
The first ever wielder of One For All smiled sadly. “I understand. It feels as though the whole world is on your shoulders. But unlike Atlas, you have allies. Friends. People willing to stand by your side.”
The two of them simply stood there, making no gesture towards each other, but Izuku didn’t feel that any gesture was necessary.
“Remember what I told you when we finally made contact. You are not alone. Not here, and not out there either.”
Izuku nodded. The first wielder’s smile bolstered into something more assertive yet just as gentle. And just like those who had gone on to carry his legacy, the first wielder of One For All faded away.
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...
Izuku woke up slowly. He was lying on the floor of his dorm room, his arms wrapped around himself in a tight self-embrace. His eyes felt tired and swollen. Yet despite that, Izuku’s soul was at peace.
“Ah, Midoriya?” Someone knocked timorously on Izuku’s room door. “Are you all right?”
“Sorry, just a minute,” Izuku called hoarsely.
Unfortunately, his body was not in a state to reflect his current emotional status. Nonetheless, Izuku got to his feet and opened the door.
“Mon dieu, you look terrible!” Aoyama cried.
“I know, I’m sorry...!” Izuku quickly rubbed an arm over his eyes, though he knew it wouldn’t do much good. “I was just... kinda overwhelmed, I think. I’m fine now.”
Aoyama placed both hands on his hips, not bothering to hide his skepticism. “That is what you said the night before combat training.”
“I know,” Izuku murmured. “But I really am fine right now. Honest. Thank you so much for your concern.”
Aoyama’s skepticism faded into a gentle concern. “You know, Midoriya, we are friends, oui? I am willing to help with whatever might ail you, be it through further supplementations of cheese or simply through my very presence.”
“Hey, don’t leave us out!” a familiar voice shouted.
“Who was...?” Izuku peeked outside his door frame, and immediately jerked back in surprise. “What the– What’re you guys all doing here?!”
At least half his class stood in the hallway, each of them appearing anywhere between sheepish or relieved. Kirishima stood slightly apart from the group, pointing indignantly at Aoyama.
“I’m sorry, Deku,” Uraraka said, fiddling with her fingertips. “You looked really unwell when you ran off, so some of us wanted to check if you were all right.”
“Huh...” Izuku could only stare dumbly at the small crowd gathered outside his dorm room.
“Apologies if you consider this an invasion of privacy,” Todoroki intoned. “I know I generally prefer to be left alone when I feel... unwell.”
“What Aoyama said is correct, though...!” Iida piped in. “As your friends, classmates, and fellow heroes, we’re all willing to chip in and provide aid if you need it!”
Izuku felt his heart swell and he smiled. “I know. Thank you guys so much.”
“Well, if you’re feeling better, you should totally come back downstairs!” Kirishima exclaimed. “Sato just made a bunch of new pastries!”
A movement down the end of the hall caught Izuku’s eye - the elevator doors closing on someone who had not been a part of the group currently standing in the hallway. His smile softened.
“Yeah, that sounds great...!” Izuku said with a nod. “I’ll be down in just a second.”
When Izuku did make his way back down to the common area, to the cheery greetings of the rest of his classmates, he couldn’t help but glance at the one person purposefully ignoring him. Red eyes flickered back, the scowl framing them deepened.
“What’re you staring at?” Kacchan growled.
“Nothing, sorry.” Izuku looked away.
“You are not alone.”
Izuku placed a hand over his heart, feeling it beat steadily and calmly beneath his palm, and sighed his contentment. ‘I know. I remember. Thank you.’