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Grunting, Keebo rolled out a futon across the hotel room floor. He tugged on the corners. Smoothed out the wrinkles. Keebo set his hands on his hips. There! He gazed across the room. Eight futons laid across tan tatami mats. A sliding door served as the entrance. Along the side wall was a closet and an alcove outfitted with a calligraphy scroll and a vase of flowers. Keebo smiled. Everything’s set up for their peaceful slumber here on our field trip here in Kyoto. Tomorrow will be a big day of touring the city!
His classmates’ voices drifted from the hall. Shuichi slid open the shoji door. He and the others behind him had just changed into their sleepwear. “Those hot springs were really refreshing, huh?”
Rantaro stretched his arms overhead. “I can travel anywhere in the world, but nothing’s better than the steamy, hot waters of a traditional Japanese onsen.”
Keebo bit his lip. Although waterproof, Keebo didn’t want to attract undue attention as a robot in a public bath so he stayed behind, reading a tourist brochure.
Kokichi, who wore crown patterned pjs, pinched his nose. “Kaito didn’t brush his teeth. Watch out for his bad breath!”
“Why you…!” Scowling, Kaito swiped at Kokichi’s head, but the leader ducked.
Kiyo folded his arms inside the sleeves of his monogrammed brown robes. “Enough of your foolish prattling. From starting a water fight to squirting toothpaste on us in the bathroom, we’ve had enough of your antics.”
Ryoma pulled down his pointed nightcap. “Agreed. No funny business while we sleep, Kokichi.”
Keebo blinked. “Oh? What happened?”
“Okay, fine, I’ll be good. Geez!” Kokichi threw himself at the farthest futon. Pulled the covers over himself. “But I’m not sleeping next to Kaito. He always farts in his sleep.”
“I do not!” cried Kaito.
Shuichi sheepishly laughed. “Actually, you do.”
Kokichi waved a hand in a “shooing” motion. “Go sleep next to Kee-boy. He can’t smell.”
“As a matter of fact, I can detect aromas. I’m no average robot. My fingers—”
Kaito huffed. Grumbling, “They don’t smell that bad,” Kaito claimed the futon next to Keebo.
Gonta settled down on a futon near the back. The gentle giant had forgotten to pack plainclothes, so he still wore his uniform. Gonta gingerly set down a cage of butterflies by his pillow. “It very late and busy day tomorrow. Gonta’s bugs sleep. Gonta sleep now too.”
Rantaro turned off the lights. Everyone settled into their futons. Choruses of “good night’s” rang out. Kokichi snored loudly until Ryoma groused, “Knock it off.”
Sighing, Keebo sat on his futon with his legs beneath him in the seiza position. Along the back wall, tree branches cast shadows against the lattice shoji doors. Outside crickets chirped. Keebo listened to everyone’s breathing. Heard them shifting. Someone coughed.
Gonta rolled over. “Keebo, what wrong? It sleepover! Why you no sleep with everyone?”
Frowning, Keebo gazed down at his hand. “I… I wish I could. But given I am a robot… I cannot. Even my charger which I use to revitalize my power cells once a week is at Hope’s Peak, so I cannot even ‘sleep’ in that regard.” Keebo bit his lip. “I… I do not have any way I could imitate sleep.”
Ryoma raised a brow. “So are you gonna just sit there all night?”
“Yes! But do not trouble yourself on my account. Listening to you breathe and watching your sleeping faces will be entertainment enough.”
Kokichi muttered, “And I thought Kiyo was creepy.” Kiyo glared.
“Well, uh…” In the futon across from him, Rantaro rose up to his elbows. “It’s a bit hard to sleep with someone watching you, y’know?”
“Ah, I’m sorry! I didn’t realize. I’ll add such information to my databanks. Should I close my eyes? Or turn around?”
“N-no, there’s no need…”
“Oh, I know!” Keebo rose, walked to the corner of the room, and sat down. Knees drawn to his chest, he sat facing the wall like a child in timeout. “There.” Hmm. Such discriminatory action feels robophobic, but I suppose this was my suggestion. Very well. I shall stare at the wall.
It was a darker cream than Keebo had initially thought. More of a honey color. A few dust bunnies lay in the corner.
Ryoma’s deep voice called, “Keebo, that’s enough.”
Shuichi rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, maybe we can stay up a bit later?”
Gasping, Keebo whipped around. “That would be ideal! I really appreciate your generosity. Now we can engage in bonding activities!”
“Woo!” Kaito pumped a fist. “Oh, this’ll be fun! If we’re staying up, I gotta guzzle down the caffeine. Shuichi, let’s get the sodas out of the closet.”
Kiyo exhaled. “If only the faculty would let me lodge with the girls…”
Yawning, the ultimates rose from their futons. Kiyo lit and placed candles around the room; if teachers saw that the students had the lights on at this hour, the boys would be reprimanded. Shuichi slid open the closet. Backpacks and suitcases lay in a haphazard pile. In the candlelight, Shuichi and Kaito rummaged through the bookbags, pulling out snacks and drinks.
Kaito squinted in the dark. “It’s still pretty hard to see. I can’t tell one soda flavor from the other. Can someone get me a candle?”
“Ah, hold on one moment!” Keebo lit up his internal machinery. Soft, green light glowed from Keebo’s chassis. “How about this? My flashlight eyes were too blinding, so I had Miu add this feature. Neat, no?”
Kokichi gasped. “Wooow! A living, breathing glowstick! Except, oh wait, you’re not alive or breathing.”
“Kgh! I’ll have you know that I just recorded your robophobic remarks with my audio recording feature. I will be submitting it to my lawyer and—”
“Ignore him, Keebo,” Shuichi called as he dug through the closet. The detective held up a grocery bag of potato chips. “Whoa, Rantaro! How many did you buy? Did you clear out the whole gift shop of them?” Rantaro shrugged. “Well, who wants BBQ?” A few people raised their hands. Shuichi tossed the bags to them. “Anyone want the hot chili flavor? I like the butter flavor the best but hot chili’s good too.”
Kokichi waved a hand. “Gimme, gimme!”
The detective threw him a bag. Kokichi set the bag behind Gonta. The entomologist sat back, crushing the chips. “Uwah!” Kokichi snickered.
As Ryoma scolded Kokichi about wasting food, Keebo took in the scene before him. Snacking and chatting, all the boys sat or were lying in a circle. Shuichi, in his glossy silk pjs, popped chips in his mouth as he listened to Kaito. Rantaro looked serene in his billowing flannel sleepwear, his thumbs flying across his phone as he texted someone.
Keebo bit his lip. If only I could wear such fashionable clothes. That would be a nice experience—
“Ah, Keebo.” Kiyo pointed to a saran-wrapped slice of astro cake Rantaro had bought. “Do you mind passing me one of those?”
“Huh? Oh, of course…”
Kiyo ate a forkful. “My, how delectable.”
“I-I’m sure it is… At least I imagine. I wouldn’t know.”
“Normally, I would not consume any sort of foodstuff at so late an hour. Such is harmful to one’s health and beauty. But if the others insist on staying awake…”
Kaito chugged some soda. Belched.
Kokichi tsked. “That’s attractive.”
“What? I am too attractive!” Scoffing, Kaito stood up and thrust out a hip, showing off his tight-fitting rocket pjs. “Everyone adores this handsome hero!”
Kokichi rolled his eyes. The leader was lying across his futon on his stomach, head propped up with his hands. “Puh-lease. You’re built and act like a dumb jock and no one wants those. I, on the other hand, am the cutest here!”
“Pfft! You’re a Mussolini gremlin troll. There’s nothing cute about that!”
“O-ho? You wanna bet?”
“Now, now.” Chuckling, Rantaro raised his hands. “Everyone here has appeal in their own unique way. I’m often described as fitting the ‘pretty boy’ archetype. Gonta is very muscular.”
“Gonta strong gentleman to protect everyone!”
“Kiyo has that mysterious vibe going.”
“Kehehehe. That is an accurate assessment. I remember well how on one occasion, all the women in a village approached me with a rope and—”
“Behold!” Chest puffed up, Keebo set his hands on his hips. “I think I have a decent chance at being the most attractive here. Only natural, given all of my high specs—I mean, pecs.”
Everyone stopped talking. Stared. Shuichi coughed. “S-so what are we going to do?”
Keebo wished his eyes could well up with tears. Am I ugly?!
Kokichi hugged his pillow to his chest. “Tell scary stories!” Kaito shrieked.
Grinning, Rantaro leaned back on his hands. “Sounds good. Who wants to go first?”
“Ah, an activity actually worth partaking in. Very well.” Chuckling, Kiyo pressed a hand over his mouth. “I shall divulge the legend of the Wailing Woman of the Anaconda Well.”
Shuichi’s eyes widened. Kaito gripped Shuichi’s upper arm. Shaking his head, Ryoma pulled out a candy cigarette. “We’re in for it now.”
Keebo clasped his hands. Kiyo is a great anthropologist who has traveled far and wide. This should be a fun story, right?
Kiyo began with, “Three-hundred years ago in a small village…”
The ultimates huddled together in the dark hotel room. Candlelight cast long shadows over the walls. The calligraphy scroll hanging in the alcove tapped against the wall like a metronome. Outside, tree branches stretched their long fingers and knocked against the shoji doors.
Kiyo held a flashlight pointed at himself. The low lilt of his voice filled the room. “And when the village chief awoke the next morning and checked the well, all he saw were fingernail grooves in the earth.”
Whimpering, Kaito seized Shuichi in a tight hug. Even Kokichi looked pale.
Gonta clapped his hands. “Oh yay, snakes got meal!”
“They did indeed. Now, is there anyone bold enough to attempt a follow-up tale?”
Keebo shuddered. I will be deleting that story from my memory banks after this. “Oh, who’s next?” Keebo raised a hand. “The logical course of action would be to take turns following our seating order. As such, I would be second! I know of an especially scary story. It haunts my nightmares. Oooh,” wailed Keebo like a cartoon ghost.
Rantaro scratched his head. “But you don’t get nightmares.”
“Gh—! How rude! I am trying to set the mood. A-hem.” Sighing, the ultimates settled into their futons and began snacking as they listened to Keebo. “On a dark and stormy night two years ago, I found myself alone at Professor Idabashi’s laboratory. All the other scientists had left for home hours ago. The lab was abandoned. I wandered the halls, calling out for the Professor, hoping he could perform some maintenance on my elbow. During an earlier test run, I had accidently overstrained it and the joint hadn’t been moving sufficiently ever since. But no one answered my pleas.
“I entered one of the monitoring rooms. Here, scientists oversee my and other robotic creations’ engineering and performance levels. PCs rested on rows of long tables, their screens turned off. Robotic humanoids hung in glass tubes against the wall, wires sparking. A wall of large monitors covered the front wall. Not a soul in sight. I gazed at my own reflection staring back at me on the wall monitor. As I looked upon myself, I remember feeling as though my very existence was tiny. Like a speck of dust.
“Not finding the professor, I turned around. A bright light flashed! I whirled around but saw nothing out of the ordinary. Then I looked up. And there, on the monitor computer screen, I saw it. Long strings of green numbers. The vilest and most fearsome of creatures!” Keebo leaned in, the candlelight flickering across his face. He spoke in a hushed whisper. “Yes! It was… a virus. A computer bug!”
Everyone stared at him, expression deadpan. Ryoma blinked. Crickets chirped.
Gonta cried, “Bugs not scary!”
Kokichi scoffed. “Ya got that right, big guy. Here, lemme tell a real story!” Kokichi yoinked the flashlight out of Kiyo’s hands and held it under his chin, casting strange shadows over his face. Kokichi’s grin unnaturally stretched across his face; his eyes became like bottomless pits.
Kaito yelped. “Ahh! Nightmare fuel!”
Shuichi pointed at Kokichi. “Quick, Keebo, stop him before he gives Kaito nightmares! Knock the flashlight out of his hands!”
“H-huh?” said Keebo.
“Get him!” Kaito shouted. He and Shuichi tackled Kokichi to the ground. Laughing, they landed in a messy tangle of limbs.
“Nee-heehee, the look on your faces! Ahahaha!”
“Why do you gotta be that way, man?”
“Give up the flashlight. Your villainy ends here!” Shuichi looked over his shoulder. “Keebo, help!”
“R-right!” Keebo entered the fray. He pushed on Kokichi’s back to pin him in place.
Crunch.
“Uh, your evil misdeeds have gone too far this time, Kokichi—”
“Ahhh! Get off, get off!”
“What?”
“I said get off, you hunk of junk! You’re hurting me!”
“Oh!” Keebo backed off, and Shuichi and Kaito rose as well.
Gonta rose onto a knee, about to stand. “Kokichi, you okay?!” The leader nodded.
Ryoma tsked. “This is what happens when you get too rowdy.”
Wincing, Kokichi rubbed his back. “Geez, rust bucket. How much do you weigh? A ton?”
Keebo froze. “M-my apologies! I didn’t intend to harm you!”
Kokichi waved a hand, sighing. “It’s fine.”
Head bowed, Keebo wrung his hands. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” I just wanted to join in on the fun…
Rantaro chided, “All right, time to settle down now.” Complying, the four students returned to their places on the futons. “Maybe we should do something else, for Kaito’s sake. Something fun to change up the pace.”
Kiyo hummed deep in his throat. “I would be hard pressed to find a pursuit that would interest me. Perhaps I should read my novel on the disembowelment process of mummified cats in ancient Egypt.”
Rantaro shrugged. “What about spin the bottle? We take turns spinning a bottle, and the spinner gets to force whoever the bottle points to to do anything he says.”
Gonta nodded. “Party game fun!”
Laughing sheepishly, Shuichi rubbed the back of his neck. “Hopefully, it won’t get too out of hand.”
“Let’s do it!” Kaito chugged down a lemon soda bottle and set it on the tatami mats between them all. The room buzzed with chatter as the boys settled into a circle and dug into snacks.
Keebo glanced at Kokichi. The leader winced when Gonta slapped his back. Looking away, Keebo sighed. Very well. Let us get this game over with.
Everyone burst out laughing. Flushing, Kaito crossed his arms. “C’mon, guys. It’s not that funny.”
Smirking, Kiyo dipped his hat. “Wearing a maid’s lacy headdress suits you, Kaito. Perhaps you should incorporate more of Tsumugi’s cosplay into your wardrobe.” Snickers rippled through the ultimates.
Ryoma shook his head. “You better hope no one takes a picture of you.”
“No one better or so help me!” The boys laughed.
Keebo suppressed a smirk. Kaito wearing that is indeed an amusing sight. I wonder what I would look like if I wore it, but… Keebo looked down at himself. At his robotic chassis.
“Rgh!” Scowling, Keebo crossed his arms. This sleepover is not enjoyable at all! I cannot simulate sleep, I do not possess a nice-looking human body, nor am I capable of telling good scary stories. Worst of all, I have violated the First Law of Robotics by injuring Kokichi, however slight. Keebo’s hands dropped in his lap. He hung his head. It would have been better if everyone had fallen asleep, and I stared at the wall.
Kokichi raised a hand to rub Kaito’s head. “Aww, whatsa matter, Kaito? With your maid headdress you look so cuuute—” Kaito seized Kokichi’s fingers. Squealing, Kokichi withdrew his hand. “Anyways! It’s my turn now! Whoever the bottle lands on has to pick their nose and wipe their boogers on the person next to them.” Noises of disgust rang out.
Kokichi spun the bottle. It pointed to Keebo.
Silence. Everyone exchanged glances. Shuichi offered, “Uh, we can spin it again—”
Jaw set, Keebo rose to his feet. “I excuse myself from the game! I cannot have fun playing as you can.” Turning away, Keebo raised a hand. “This night has made it abundantly clear I will never be like a human so I shouldn’t even try.”
“Good. You shouldn’t.”
Keebo started. Kokichi’s pale lavender eyes bore into him. “Kee-boy can’t be a real boy. But why would you want to? There’s seven billion people infesting the world like cockroaches. Being a robot is way more interesting!”
Gonta balled his fists. “Cockroaches good!”
Shuichi scratched his head. “Although crude, Kokichi has a point.”
Kiyo fingered the monogrammed initials of his robe’s chest pocket. “Indeed. Humanity is beautiful, but that does not imply your struggle is of zero interest.”
Kaito took off the maid headband and fixed his hair. Grinning, he gave a thumbs-up. “Don’t lose heart, Keebo! Even crying kids adore this astronaut; they’ll love a robot like you, too!”
Shuichi nodded. “The glowing light Miu upgraded you with helps us see in the dark. Humans can forget important memories like sleepovers with friends, but you’re able to record what you hear and print out pictures of whatever you see. You have cool, useful abilities that only you as a robot can do.”
Keebo's jaw quivered. “So it’s okay if I can’t sleep, blech, or pick my nose?”
Gonta leapt up. “It okay! Keebo robot but Keebo gentleman. Gonta protect Keebo from mean people!”
Candy cigarette between two fingers, Ryoma gestured to Keebo’s body with a hand. “Aren’t you proud of what the Professor made?”
“B-but of course!”
Rantaro rested an arm on his raised knee. Raised a brow at Keebo. “Can you really say you didn’t have fun tonight?”
Keebo sifted through his memories. Everyone’s concern about Keebo staying up the whole night alone. Shuddering at Kiyo’s horror story. Trying not to laugh at Kaito wearing a maid headdress. Before him the futons he had so meticulously arranged were now lop-sided and wrinkled. Pillows and snacks lay everywhere like a pigsty. Someone had knocked over Kokichi’s panta. But all of his friends were smiling up at him.
Keebo’s chest plate warmed. Beaming, Keebo pressed a hand over his heart. “You are correct; this has been a very enjoyable experience. Please forgive my outburst! And if I may be so selfish, I have a request for all of you: let us stay up a little longer playing games just as we have and make this an unforgettable memory!”
Kaito laid his hand on the soda bottle. “That’s the spirit! Now, are we getting back to spin the bottle?”
Shuichi proposed, “We could play card games, too.”
“Cards, huh?” Smirking, Ryoma crossed his arms. “I know dozens of card games from my time behind—”
“I only know Old Maid,” Keebo cut in.
“I pass.”
“Wh-what? But I thought we were friends and going to have fun together…”
Kiyo held his chin. “Perhaps I can show you my tarot cards.”
“No, let’s tell secrets!” chimed Kokichi.
“Or video games?” said Rantaro. “I snuck my Switch in. We can play Mario Kart.”
Kaito went, “Ooh, what about karaoke?”
“Gonta happy with everything! Everything fun!”
In the candlelight glow, the boys laughed and chatted as they pulled out games to play.
The first rays of daylight seeped through the shoji doors. Birds tweeted. Groaning, the boys lay across the messy futons, limbs akimbo. Shuichi rubbed his aching eyes. Kaito, who had eaten three slices of astro cake, muttered, “I don’t feel so good…” The boys, having drank too much caffeine, hadn’t slept a wink the entire night.
Keebo smiled as he gazed upon his classmates. I am very fortunate to have so many friends who appreciate me for who I am. Even if I am not human like them. Chucking, Keebo rubbed the back of his neck.
Felt a button.
Keebo jolted upright. “That’s right, my emergency stop button! With it, I can go to sleep! Good night, everyone.” Keebo pressed it.
All systems powering down…
…
All systems turning online…
Keebo blinked. “H-huh? Who turned me back on? Is there… something wrong…?”
Everyone towered over Keebo, glaring down at him with bloodshot eyes. They fisted pillows in their hands.
“N-no, wait! Please don’t!”
They pummeled him with pillows.
“Ahh! No, stop! I’m sorry I forgot! Th-this is discriminatory. Stop, stoooop!”