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“You know, every time we get a case with a hint of domestic violence or abuse, you go off the deep end. What is your problem?”
“Yeah, I probably do, and you let your sexuality cloud your judgment about men, and I’m gonna go over your head.” Catherine felt her hands clench into fists. Her mouth was open before she even realized what she was doing.
“And you’re honestly telling me that your sexuality doesn’t cloud your judgment?” she shot back, seeing anger and a fair amount of surprise flare in Sara’s eyes. It was a cheap shot, one she quickly regretted, especially when the surprise in Sara’s eyes became hurt. The anger lingered. The twitch in Sara’s right arm made her fairly certain that Sara wanted to slap her across the face for saying it. Still, she didn’t, and Catherine respected her for that. She would have deserved it.
“Sidle.” She turned to find Ecklie standing at the end of the hallway. Damn. Had he heard all of that? She had intended to confront Sara – though she hadn’t intended it to go the way it had – but she had wanted it to be between the two of them. “Get in my office. Now.” Well shit.
A quiet knock broke her concentration and she glanced up to find a hesitant Sara in the doorway.
“Hey. Do…um…do you have a second?”
“Okay,” she allowed after a moment, setting down her pen and pushing back from the desk. Her shoulders ached from being hunched over for so long writing case notes. The change in position was welcome, but she eyed the brunette warily as she moved further into the room.
“Ecklie says I have to apologize to you, which made me not want to…but I do want to, so you can’t tell him I’m doing this, okay?” Catherine huffed and couldn’t contain a small smile. She inclined her head in a brief nod of agreement. It seemed their mutual disdain for Conrad Ecklie might allow them to bridge the gap.
Sara took a few more steps, now leaning against the edge of her desk and lowering her voice even further, obviously wanting this to be a private conversation. There was no one else around, but the lab had ears in places one would least expect. Catherine could understand her caution. “I know that I react strongly to abuse cases. Badly. And I’m sorry for how I acted earlier. I’m not sorry for the way I feel about the case, but I’m sorry for the way I treated you over it. I was out of line.”
“You were,” she agreed. Sara needed to understand that she couldn’t treat her superiors that way, no matter what personal issues were gnawing at her. Sara looked hurt. She crossed her arms and stared at her feet. “Is there a reason?” Catherine asked after a long silence. Brown eyes flicked up to meet her own.
“What?”
“Is there a reason those cases affect you so much more than the others?” Sara said nothing for some time, seeming to consider it. Eventually, she shook her head no.
“Yeah.” Confused by the mixed message, Catherine raised an eyebrow. “There is. But I…can’t talk about it here.” Catherine frowned.
“Well, I’d like it if you’d tell me about it sometime. If you want.” Sara shook her head again, and this time her words agreed.
“It’s not the sort of story people want to hear. But thanks anyway.”
“No, I mean it,” she insisted. “I know it’s not a happy story, but I’m more than willing to listen. Really.” Sara’s smile was small and sad and didn’t really reach her eyes.
“Thanks, Cath. I’ll think about it. I’ve got a whole week to think about it, so…we’ll see.” Catherine felt her stomach sink. Ecklie had suspended her?
“I’m sorry, Sara.”
“It’s not your fault.” Silence ensued. It seemed that neither of them knew what to say. “Well, I’ll see you next week.”
“Sara.” Catherine’s head snapped up to catch the young woman’s eyes as she paused mid-turn in response to her name. “Do you want to get a drink after my shift?” No response. “We don’t have to talk about the case or…anything…if you don’t want. Lindsey’s staying at a friend’s house, so I thought…well, it would give us both something to do.” More silence. Maybe this hadn’t been such a good idea.
“Okay.” She almost couldn’t believe she’d heard it, but she’d seen Sara’s lips move. She hadn’t imagined it out of desperation for the awkward silence to end.
“Great,” she managed. There might have been a bit of a delay, but Sara either didn’t notice or wasn’t going to mention it.
“I’ll just meet you here?”
“Sure, that’s fine. Just keep an eye out for Ecklie, huh?”
“I always do,” Sara said with a chuckle. “See you in a while.”
“You were right, you know.” Catherine glanced in the direction of her passenger. She’d only had one beer in the relatively short time they’d been at the bar; Sara’d polished off three. The brunette was by no means drunk, but Catherine was glad she had driven. She’d also insisted on taking Sara home instead of back to her car. The last thing she needed was another DUI.
“Right about what?” Another glance told her that Sara, in her pleasant warm haze of alcohol, couldn’t seem to understand that she wasn’t a mind reader and therefore had not been following Sara’s silent train of thought.
“What you said. I mean, not that it affects my work, but you were right.” Catherine shook her head, unable to make sense of Sara’s rambling.
“I don’t think I’m following you.”
“About me being bisexual,” Sara explained, exasperation evident in her tone. “How did you know that?” Oh. That. Catherine felt herself blush. Somehow, takes one to know one didn’t seem like the best answer. Neither did some inane discussion of gaydar or mentioning that she’d noticed the way Sara noticed women.
“It’s my job to be observant.” It still wasn’t a particularly good answer, but it was the best she could do in the heat of the moment. Hopefully, Sara’s tipsiness would work in her favor.
“Hmm.” Sara’s noncommittal hum sounded almost disappointed. The brunette leaned her head against the window and was silent for the rest of the trip.