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"This isn't a silly procedure to me, Ms. Sully. And I will get you through this."
"Thank you."
Okay... Cristina being nice and comforting isn't something Alex would be expecting. 'Her bedside manners are definitely getting better' he thought. Sometimes she could really surprise him.
"I'm ready now."
She doesn't seem ready though. She just stands there, much to Alex and Bailey's confusion. Alex looks at her, raising his eyebrows, wondering if there's something wrong with the patient that only Yang had noticed. But there isn't. Cristina Yang's hesitating about cut into someone. Another surprise in less than 5 minutes.
She then raises her eyes and stares right into his.
"Izzie has stage IV Metastatic Melanoma thas has spread to her brain, liver and skin. She may only have months to live, and she's resisting treatment. She needs help."
Third surprise.
"Scalp" - She takes the scalp from the intern and finally starts the procedure.
Bailey stops her reading. She thought, since it was Yang's surgery, there'd be nothing to worry about and she could just stand there, relaxing, only checking in from time to time to make sure Karev wasn't doing anything he wasn't supposed to do. 'Boy, was I wrong...' He wasn't doing anything at all. His hands were hovering on top of the patient, still holding the instruments, and his eyes were glued to Yang.
"Karev" - nothing. She tries again, louder this time. - "Dr. Karev! Alex!"
He finally looks at her. He seems lost. - "I think it's better if you step out of the O.R. for a while." - She didn't even word it as an order, but she was certain he was going to object. He doesn't. Instead he drops the instruments back on the surgical tray and leaves, scrubbing out faster than normal. Once he walks out Bailey turns back to Yang. Before the resident can say anything, Bailey says:
"Not now, focus on the patient. We'll talk about it once you're finished."
Cristina just nods. Bailey turns to the first unoccupied intern she sees - "Go after him, but don't talk to him! Just make sure he isn't doing anything stupid." Bailey puts away her magazine and starts thinking about the words Cristina said.
***
Yang explains everything to Bailey as they scrub out. As soon as they walk out the O.R. they see the intern peeking around the corner. He was watching Alex, who was just sitting at the floor against the nurse's station, staring blankly at the surgical board on the other side.
"He hasn't moved since you kicked him out." - Bailey sighs and starts to aproach, very carefully as to not scare him. It doesn't work though because as soon as he notices them he jumps to his feet, walking straight towards Cristina.
"What the hell, Yang! If that's a joke, it's a fucking sick one!"
"A-Alex, I'm not... It's not a joke, okay?"
"Alex, just calm down, alright?" - Bailey tries to touch him, but he snaps his arm away from her.
"No!" - He yells. He turns back to Cristina and says, now in a whisper:
"What do you mean she's refusing treatment?"
Yang looks at Bailey. 'What the hell am I supposed to say to him?'. Bailey just shrugs. Alex asks again, pretty much yelling this time.
"Alex" - Cristina starts gently - "Her chances of survival are very low, she doesn't think she'll..."
"Bullshit!" - And with that, Alex runs to the surgical board to look up Izzie's name - "Where is she now?"
"I don't know, her patient is out of surgery so she must..."
Again, Alex doesn't wait for her to finish the sentence and literally sprints away.
***
Meredith's at the cafeteria, with a coffee in her hand and a medical book in the other, trying to forget the whole Derek ordeal, even if only for a couple of minutes, before she actually loses her mind. She was about to turn a page when she realizes she doesn't remember anything about what she just read. Givinp up reading, she stands up only to bump face first into someone's chest. It's Alex, and he looks like a deer caught up in the headlights.
"Have you seen Izzie?" - He asked.
"What? No, I don't think so. Why? " - He turns around - "Wait, Alex! What-"
Alex runs back inside just as Bailey and Cristina manage to catch up with him. They both stop to catch their breath when Meredith walks up.
"What the hell is happenning?" - Mer asks her best friend.
Before any of them can answer, Alex is back, with George following right behind.
"Okay" - Alex says breathless - "Who was the last person that saw her?"
"Why are you guys looking for Izzie? Did something happen?" - George asks, looking from Bailey to Cristina and then to Meredith.
"I don't know! They won't tell me!"
Bailey starts. "Stevens was diagnosed with stage IV Metastatic Melanoma. She told Yang..." - She turns around to tell Yang to continue, but she's gone. Nowhere to be seen.
"Izzie has cancer?" - George asks in a high pitched voice.
Bailey looks at Alex. The poor boy seemed to be managing just fine so far (and by fine she meant he wasn't punching walls or breaking things like she thought he would), but now he seemed about to colapse. George and Meredith were still expecting an answer, and with Yang gone and a hyperventilating Karev trying his best not to cry in front of everyone, she had to be the one doing the talk.
"Alright, let's sit down, all of you."
***
Alex walks down the corridor. He had sat and listenned to Bailey as she repeated every single word of Izzie's diagnose to Mer and O'Malley. And it hit ten times worse than Cristina said it. Stage IV Metastatic Melanoma. Only months to leave. He stops at the middle of the reception, lost. He already had looked everywhere and still no sign of his girlfriend.
He decides his best shot was look for her at home, she probably went there as soon as she was able to. So he walks to the parking lot. He stops at the hospital entrance when he sees the back of two familiar heads. They're sitting on a bench, out in the cold. Only then he notices how cold he feels, but it doesn't matter. He stands there for what seems like hours.
Then they both get up. Her eyes are swollen read, but she's smilling. That smile soon fades away when she locks eyes on Alex. He sees Cristina whisper something in her ear, then squeezes her hand in reassurance and walks away. She goes back inside while Izzie sits back on the bench. Cristina says something as she walks past him but Alex doesn't hear it. He walks straight to the bench, like if he doesn't get there fast enough she'll disappear again.
***
Izzie stares down at her hands, bracing herself for what's to come. She feels his shoulder brushing hers as he sits down next to her.
"Iz..."
"I'm so, so sorry! I couldn't..."
"Hey, it's alright" - He whispers softly, then takes one of her hands between his own. It's cold.
"I'm really sorry, Alex."
"Don't be, I'm not mad you didn't tell me" - He touches her cheek, turning her face around so he can see her. Somehow it's even colder than her hands. Right now he wishes he had another jacket to put on top of the one she's already wearing, but he was only wearing his scrubs shirt. So he holds her in his arms, resting her head on his shoulder.
"You were so happy, and I just couldn't... If I told you then you wouldn't be anymore... And I.. We don't get to see happy Alex that often. I didn't want it to end"
Her voice was shaking and he could tell she was definitely crying. He could feel the tears falling on his shoulder, so he hugs her even tighter. Hell, he'd probably be crying too but he can't. He can't cry. So he swallows the lump in his throat before speaking.
"Cristina says you're refusing treatment... Why?"
Izzie sighs - "Alex, you heard the odds, right? I don't know if I can win against that..."
"You're definitely not gonna win if you don't try. Iz, you gotta do it for you, for us... If there's anyone who can beat those odds, it's you. You're a fighter, you're a doer, remember?"
She chuckles a little. - "When I said that, well... let's say that what I was doing back then was definitely more fun than what I'll have to do now."
"Yeah, but you can do it. You're one of the strongest people I know. I mean, I would know, my cheek was burning for days after that slap you gave me once."
Izzie starts shaking again, but this time with laughter. Alex laughs too. She slips away from their embrace so she can look right into his eyes. She holds her hand against his cheek, her other hand resting on his tigh.
"I'm sorry I slapped you that time."
"Don't be. If I'm being honest, it actually kinda turned me on a little bit."
Now Izzie's really laughing. Once she calms down, they stare at each other for a while when something catches Izzie's eyes. Alex turns around to find Dr. Bailey and Chief Webber watching them by the hospital's main door. Alex turns back to Izzie and squeezes her hand hard.
"Ready?"
"Ready."