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The fight with Dio had ended. Jotaro Kujo had killed Dio. He was safe. His mom was safe. It was over.
Except it wasn’t over.
Jotaro had seen Dio hurt Polnareff when they were fighting.
The old man–oh the old man. Jotaro had watched him die. He had watched Dio kill him.
Kakyoin, Jotaro realized, was nowhere to be seen. He hadn’t seen him since they had split up into groups of two earlier. He hadn’t heard of him until his grandfather had told him about what Kakyoin discovered about Dio’s stand–what had helped him beat Dio.
After minutes of searching, Jotaro came across a sight that made him sick to his stomach. Kakyoin was almost inserted into a water tower with water mixed with the crimson color of his blood dripping down. His normally styled hair disheveled and his skin even paler than it usually was. Through his stomach, an injury so large that Jotaro could have cried right on the spot. He couldn’t even tell if he was still alive or not.
The Speedwagon Foundation was already on the scene. Before Jotaro could even understand what was going on, Kakyoin had been retrieved by the doctors. A man from the foundation came up to Jotaro, ushering him into the helicopter that his grandfather was in.
The realization began to sink in.
Avdol. Iggy. His old man.
Kakyoin.
Out of six crusaders that have traveled to Egypt, Jotaro and Polnareff were the only ones that remained alive. Two out of six.
A few minutes later when he had boarded the helicopter, Jotaro realized that this number was three out of six. His grandfather had somehow survived an elaborate plan that Jotaro made up on the spot. A blood transfusion from Dio’s corpse. The Speedwagon Foundation doctors looked at him like he was insane when he brought up this idea, but it worked. It worked, and now there were three out of six.
The doctors didn’t give him any information about Kakyoin. He wasn’t on the same helicopter as Jotaro, most likely due to the condition that he was in. The flight to the hospital was agonizing. Jotaro didn’t want to go to a hospital–he was fine. He wanted to know about Kakyoin. He didn’t want to be checked in to be examined, he just wanted to be by his side. Yet, he wasn’t allowed to.
After it was determined that Jotaro was fine, his grandfather, Polnareff, and him were made to wait for updates on Kakyoin's condition. They were told that he was alive. He was barely hanging on, but he was alive. For now. The doctors weren’t very optimistic that he would survive the surgery. According to them, Dio’s punch had missed his vital organs, but Kakyoin was left alone for a very long time. The blood loss that he had faced was immense.
While Kakyoin was bleeding out, Jotaro was fighting. He didn’t help him when he needed him most. Jotaro knew this thinking was wrong, that he shouldn’t blame himself for what had happened to Kakyoin, but his conscience kept pushing the thought that this was Jotaro’s fault. If Jotaro had never allowed him to accompany them on their trip to Egypt, Kakyoin could have been with his family right now, rather than in a hospital, fighting for his life.
Jotaro sat down. And he cried. There was no violent sobbing or screaming. For one of the few times in his life, Jotaro wept silently as he prayed–to any god, if there was one out there–to help Kakyoin.
A few hours later, a doctor entered the room that they were waiting in. His grandfather and Polnareff had somehow fallen asleep on each other’s shoulders. Jotaro was still awake. There was no way he could have fallen asleep. When the doctor entered the room and his grandfather and Polnareff awoke, they all stood up quickly, desperate to hear any news.
“He’s alive.”
Jotaro wasn’t very religious. He was never attracted to praying every night like he sometimes saw his grandparents and mother do. But in this moment, Jotaro thanked the god that he prayed to a few hours earlier.
Four out of six had survived the crusade to Egypt.
To Jotaro’s dismay, Kakyoin was not awake. The doctor didn’t make any promises on when he would wake up. They weren’t allowed to see him yet without his parents knowing. Plans were made to transport him to a hospital in Japan, where the best Speedwagon Foundation doctors would treat him. Jotaro, Polnareff, and Joseph ultimately had to leave. Jotaro and Joseph to Japan, and Polnareff to France. Kakyoin to a hospital in Japan. The hospital he was being sent to was fairly close to where Jotaro lived. He could easily visit him a few times a week.
–
When Jotaro arrived at home, his mom opened the door for him. She looked healthy and happy to see him and his grandfather. When she hugged Jotaro and gave him a kiss on his cheek, Jotaro hugged her back. He held her and felt small vines with flowers wrapping around him.
That must have been her stand that had manifested correctly now that Dio was gone.
Jotaro let Holly hug him for as long as she wanted. He didn’t call her any names, he didn’t pull back, and he didn’t insult her. He just let her hug him as he hugged back and appreciated the fact that she was alive. Appreciated the fact that she was still able to provide the affection that he had neglected for so many years until he realized that he was on the verge of losing it when she was close to death’s doors.
The first thing Jotaro did when he arrived in Japan was appreciate his mother.
The second thing Jotaro did when he arrived in Japan was visit the hospital that Kakyoin was being treated in. A coma is what the doctors called it. No estimates on when he would wake up. The only thing that Jotaro was told was that Kakyoin was stable and alive. For now, that was enough for Jotaro to keep faith that Kakyoin would be okay.
When he entered Kakyoin’s hospital room, it almost hurt as much as when he first saw him stuck to the water tower a few days ago. Kakyoin’s face was peaceful. He was asleep. But he was connected to so much machinery. Beeping was heard from several machines around him as Jotaro realized that these were the things keeping Kakyoin alive. The bubbly, know-it-all that he got to know for the last fifty days was confined to a hospital bed, looking so fragile that Jotaro was convinced that any small touch would break him.
He walked towards the bed that Kakyoin was on. Before he realized it, Jotaro had taken Kakyoin’s hand in his. He gave it a gentle squeeze as he looked at him once more. His disheveled red hair had been brushed, presumably by one of the nurses. It had gotten longer than it was when they had first set out to Egypt.
Oh how Jotaro wished Kakyoin would wake up. Maybe Kakyoin could tell him interesting trivia about his condition. Maybe Kakyoin would tell him cool facts about Cairo. Maybe Kakyoin would wake up to scold him about something trivial that Jotaro had done. Anything. Jotaro would take any sign that Kakyoin was truly alive.
Minutes passed. Nothing happened.
Jotaro decided to return tomorrow.
Day after day, week after week, visit after visit, Jotaro began to develop a routine. He had seen Kakyoin’s parents in his room one day. Jotaro stood outside the room as he witnessed Kakyoin’s mother break down into tears as she held onto her son, begging him to wake up. His father, holding on to his wife as she shook from the sobbing, wept silently, just as Jotaro had done in the hospital waiting room a few weeks ago.
Jotaro couldn’t bring himself to look Kakyoin's parents in the eyes. He couldn't move on from the feeling that he was the reason Kakyoin was stuck in the hospital bed, asleep, away from those he loves. He walked away from Kakyoin’s room, far enough away so that his parents couldn’t see him. Surely, they were aware of his existence. Of course they were, there was no way that the Foundation hadn’t informed them of who Kakyoin had disappeared with. But Jotaro wasn’t ready to see them. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
When he was sure they were gone, he entered Kakyoin’s room. Jotaro pulled up the chair that he usually sat in and sat close to Kakyoin. He grabbed his hand, and squeezed it gently once more.
“I went back to school today.”
Silence.
“They uh-they told me I probably have to repeat the year because over fifty days of absences was too much. I couldn’t even protest because they have a point. You know, when you wake up you’ll probably have to redo the year with me too. We’ll go to the same school. But you–you probably take the super advanced classes don’t you? You’ve always been so smart.”
“I miss you.”
Jotaro gave one last gentle squeeze to Kakyoin’s hand as he stood up and left.
–
The Foundation was making him attend therapy. He was reluctant to do it. But after three months of attending sessions, Jotaro realized that maybe he did need it. When he would go, he would tell his therapist about the nightmares he had.
Nightmares, not just about Kakyoin, but about how Avdol and Iggy felt when they died. Nightmares where Dio, strong as ever, flung the knives into his chest, over and over, never stopping.
Nightmares where Dio would return to hurt him and those he loved again. Nightmares where he awoke in tears, shaking, with no one but his fear around him.
Maybe the therapy was needed.
His therapist had encouraged him to visit the hospital less and less, to allow himself to heal. At first, Jotaro didn’t want to stop visiting. If he didn’t visit everyday, who was going to tell Kakyoin about what had happened at school? Who would read to him? He couldn’t just leave him all alone in that hospital bed everyday.
One day when he was visiting, he ran into Kakyoin’s parents. He made eye contact with them. He couldn’t speak to them. He couldn’t bring himself to.
Jotaro began to visit less. Not because he didn’t want to see Kakyoin–it just hurt too much. It hurt to see Kakyoin connected to machines that were providing him with what was basically artificial life. It hurt too much to think about the fact that it had been three months, two weeks, and four days since Kakyoin had arrived. It hurt to think about the possibility that Kakyoin may never wake up again. It was entirely overwhelming, and Jotaro never considered himself to be very emotionally capable of dealing with his feelings.
Daily visits turned into every other day, every other day turned into three times a week, then two times a week, then once a week. Sometimes, weeks would pass by when Jotaro wouldn’t step foot in Kakyoin’s hospital room.
Jotaro missed him so much. He had stopped smoking for a while. When he would visit Kakyoin every day in the hospital, he was afraid that somehow the effects of his cigarette would rub off on Kakyoin and affect the state that he was in. Now that the visits were less frequent, he picked up the box of cigarettes again.
When they were in Egypt, Kakyoin would scold Jotaro for smoking. Once, when they were in one of the hotels they stayed in on their trip, Jotaro asked Kakyoin if he wanted to try. Even though Kakyoin was reluctant to try, he said yes, much to Jotaro’s surprise. As soon as he tried, Kakyoin went into a coughing fit, as expected. He didn’t keep trying, telling Jotaro something about how he wanted his lungs to stay clean. “Cancer sticks,” Kakyoin called the cigarettes. Jotaro had tried to lessen his smoking when Kakyoin was around. When Kakyoin arrived at the hospital, Jotaro had almost quit entirely.
Yet here he was, cigarette in hand.
He wondered if this was what it would feel like if Kakyoin was dead, or if the feeling would be worse. For a second, Jotaro thought about how maybe it would hurt less. Maybe there wouldn’t be so much false hope. Maybe the doctors wouldn’t keep telling him to just keep visiting and talking to him as if Kakyoin could hear him and respond. Maybe Jotaro could keep moving forward with life knowing that his chapter in life with Kakyoin had ended.
But at seventeen years old, Jotaro couldn’t accept that this chapter had ended. Perhaps it was the false hope that the doctors gave him. Perhaps it was the want to one day meet Kakyoin’s parents with him and apologize to them for hurting their son. Perhaps one day Kakyoin would hear him and respond.
–
It happened when Jotaro was in the middle of class, four months, three weeks, and five days after they had arrived in Japan. The principal called him out to the hallway to inform him that his mother was on the phone waiting to tell him something important.
Jotaro’s heart sank. His mind travelled to the worst possible outcome. He hadn’t even said goodbye to Kakyoin. It had been 5 days since he last visited. He didn’t even say goodbye.
When he got to the phone, Jotaro braced himself for the news. He picked it up with shaking hands, somehow wanting to put it down and tell his mom to spit the news out at the same time. Holly spoke through the phone in a tone that he wasn’t expecting.
“Jotaro, he woke up.”
Jotaro felt his heart stop. He put the phone down, hands shaking even more than they were when he had picked up the phone. He walked, almost ran out of the room that he was in and out the main door of the school. The shouting in the background from the principal to tell him to go back to class was nothing but background noise as he ran.
This may have been the most adrenaline that Jotaro had felt in his life, ever. More than when he witnessed Dio kill his grandfather. More than when he killed Dio. As Jotaro ran to that hospital, he felt his hat slip off somewhere along the way. It was alright. He was going to see Kakyoin. And Kakyoin was going to see him back for the first time in months.
He had memorized the layout of the hospital by now. He ran to Kakyoin’s room, ignoring the nurses that told him to check in. Ignoring the call from his mom, the call from Polnareff, and the call from his grandfather, Jotaro ran to Kakyoin’s room as if it were the last place on Earth.
When he opened the door, he saw Kakyoin. Still pale and thin, as if he could break with simply a touch, but there was a vital difference. Kakyoin’s violet eyes were open. The tubes that he was connected to were gone. Kakyoin was breathing on his own, and he turned his head slightly at the door that had just opened.
“Hi, Jotaro.”
Oh, Kakyoin’s voice. The voice he hadn’t heard in months. It was raspy and weak, evident that he hadn’t used it in months, but it was his voice. Jotaro longed to hear his voice. Night after night, nightmare after nightmare, Jotaro wished he was back in a hotel room in Cairo where Kakyoin would tell him about unnecessary trivia that he had learned at home. He was desperate to hear Kakyoin’s voice one more time.
Brought back to reality by the man in front of him, Jotaro ran to Kakyoin’s bed and engulfed him in a gentle hug. Gentle enough to not hurt Kakyoin, but strong enough to show Kakyoin how he felt. How he was feeling. How much he’d missed him.
“I heard you came to visit me quite often when I was asleep. Thank you, Jotaro.”
Jotaro began to cry. Unlike the time that he silently wept in the hospital waiting room, Jotaro cried loud enough for Kakyoin to hear him. Enough for emotions to be felt throughout the room. Enough for Kakyoin to understand the severity of what Jotaro had felt throughout the last couple of months.
“I missed you so much.”
Jotaro’s tough exterior had cracked in front of Kakyoin. He was no longer a stark man, perceived as devoid of emotions. He let the tears flow as he held onto Kakyoin like he was the last person in the world, like he would go back to sleep as soon as Jotaro let go.
“Kak–Noriaki, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t there, I’m sorry you went through this god I should have been there to help you I’m so sor–”
Kakyoin held onto his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, just as Jotaro had done a few months ago when he had first seen him in the hospital bed. Jotaro was silenced by this action, and he and Kakyoin sat there, enjoying each other's company for a few minutes.
“Jotaro, I’m really tired. I might go to sleep for a little bit while the doctor comes in to tell me about how I’m doing. I think my parents may come in tomorrow. They said they’re out on a business trip. It’s funny, isn’t it?”
Jotaro was almost afraid to let Kakyoin go back to sleep. He held onto his hand and shook his head in agreement. Kakyoin was still hurt, and he had to let him rest.
“I missed you. A lot. By the way.”
Kakyoin smiled as best as he could in his weakened state.
“I missed you too Jotaro.”
Jotaro tried to lower his hat down a bit to hide his blush, only to discover that he had lost it when he ran to the hospital.
“I’ll see you in a few hours. Joseph, Polnareff, and my mom are coming to see you. See you later, Noriaki.”
When he got up, Jotaro placed his hand on Noriaki’s face, stroking the side of it with his thumb. A really impulsive decision, really, but Jotaro decided to do it. He leaned down, and pressed a simple, gentle kiss on Noriaki’s forehead.
Noriaki blushed a little as he closed his eyes to rest a bit.
It was strange to call Noriaki by his first name. But considering the fact that Jotaro had just kissed him, Jotaro deduced that they were at least on a first name basis. At least he hoped.
Whatever.
For now, he was just happy Noriaki was okay. Things were going to be okay. It was going to take time and effort, but Noriaki was alive, conscious, and Jotaro was going to be there for him.
The events that unfolded after the crusaders had been in Egypt were life changing. Traumatic. But things looked like they were getting better.
For the first time in months, Jotaro felt real hope.
Genuine, legitimate, hope.