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they sit on the couch.
they sit quietly, not a word escaping from their mouth, as their leg bounces up and down and their palms sweating. they stare at the floor. their mind seems to be running a mile a minute with thoughts about rejection. they try to keep their breathing slow and steady but fail miserably.
theresa and jerry walk in then, chattering quietly. max can only make out the words ‘alex’ and ‘immature’ before they disappear to the lair without a word to them. they don’t have the time nor energy to care.
alex is next. she’s muttering under her breath but stops when her eyes land on max, who hasn’t moved from their position on the couch in hours. she pauses, looking them over, but decides to leave them to their own devices. they don’t want to admit that it stings.
insert justin.
they didn’t think they could feel any worse than they already did, but then their brother entered the house and started shouting. they should have seen it coming, alex had obviously done something, but they still flinch at their brother’s yell.
then the whole family’s in the kitchen shouting back and forth and not one of them had stopped to ask max what was wrong. not one of them stopped to ask how their day was, why they were crying, why they could hardly breathe, why they didn’t feel real, why th-
they stand abruptly, but the shouting doesn’t stop. it gets louder. the chorus of “alex what were you thinking”s and “you are so unfair”s get lost in the sea of max’s thoughts as they storm out the door and make sure to slam it on the way out.
maybe the shouting stops, maybe they noticed them leave, or maybe they don’t care like always. and maybe max’s hands find their way to their hair and begin to tug as they walk to nowhere on this rainy night.
where their feet guide them they don’t know, or perhaps they can’t bring themself to care. everything is ruined. everything is wrong. their thoughts and feelings are so muddled it’s hard to make out anything in the chaos anymore. tonight was meant to be their night. it was meant to be the night they would tell their family. it was meant to be the night they finally stuck up for themself. it was supposed to be their turn to get their parents attention finally. instead they find themself on a busy street on a rainy night. they can’t tell if it’s tears or rain falling from their cheeks anymore.
and it’s justin that finds them in the crowd, somehow. the rain stops falling on them and they turn around to see their brother holding an umbrella above their head. for the single moment that max fits themself inside justin’s arms, all is forgotten. and justin lets them sob into his shirt as he runs gentle fingers through their hair.
“i’m sorry, maxie,” he says simply. he pulls away from max to look at them directly. “can we talk about it back home?” after a quick thought, they agree.
that’s how they find themself back in their living room. alex doesn’t perk up when justin and max come back. she sits on the couch with a pout on her face. theresa and jerry seem more relieved and excited to see max than they think their parents ever have been before. who can blame them for rejecting the false hug from the people that didn’t pay attention to them until now?
“what’s wrong max?” asks jerry, leaning against the kitchen counter. alex scoffs. something inside max shatters.
“of course. you care so much about your perfect little boy that you dismiss what justin did to me.” the attention max had only just gotten in their fourteen years of living was suddenly stolen away again by their older sister. “but yeah, fine, it’s all about max i guess.”
“i was only getting back at you!” argues justin. max feels him tense behind them. theresa sighs and rubs her temples.
“i thought we went over this! you’re both grounded for what you did!”
“your mother’s right.”
“this wouldn’t have happened if someone had apologized.”
“oh shove it up your ass, justin!”
“language!”
“oh i’m so sorry for being upset! i’m grounded for three weeks and justin’s only grounded for two days? that’s so unfair!”
“shut up! shut up shut up shut UP!” max doesn’t mean to snap as hard as they do. attention falls back on them. they think steam might be coming out of their ears. “i’m sick and tired of this! stop making everything about yourselves! when is it my turn to be upset for once? when is it my turn to finally be paid attention to? when?” they’re screaming now. the room is eerily silent except for max’s heavy breaths. “when can i be loved?” and their voice breaks.
they can’t meet any of their family members’ eyes. something tells them that they said to much.
“i wanted to tell you all something tonight,” they start again, lifting their head, “it was important to me and you all ruined it. i’ve been trying to tell you for so long, but you all care so much about alex and justin and their schemes and i’m so tired. i’m not a boy, i’m not a girl, i’m just me. max. i use they/them pronouns.” their confidence oozes out of them. their parents don’t speak and neither do their siblings. but they feel justin squeeze their shoulder oh-so-softly, and it somehow comforts them even if only a bit. “i don’t care what you think. i stopped caring a while ago. i know nothing’s going to change and that’s okay, but at least refer to me correctly. that’s the least you could do after ignoring me for so long.”
the heavy feeling in their chest finally lifts. they find sick pleasure in watching alex’s face show remorse. jerry and theresa match her expression, but theirs is much guiltier. they don’t bother turning around to justin.
alex is the first to break the silence. “look at that, mom and dad, now you’ve got the whole collection.” max snickers quietly. their anger is not forgotten, but alex’s joke takes away the attention.
“i’m so sorry for how we’ve treated you, son.” max’s half smile falls at their father’s comment. jerry catches on. “wait- sorry- kid,” he corrects himself. at least he’s trying, max tells themself.
“it’s fine, i get it. they get into trouble. they need to be reprimanded. it’s okay.”
“thank you for understanding,” jerry says. theresa nods along. something about the look she gives max tells them she doesn’t quite understand their pronouns yet.
“it’s not fine. it’s not okay. we’ve all been ignoring you for so long, and it shouldn’t keep going on.” justin’s grip tightens on their shoulder. “one apology doesn’t make our actions alright. it doesn’t matter if alex and i keep getting into trouble, that’s not an excuse to ignore you. how can we make it up to you?”
max purses their lips. “give me the sub station?” jerry snorts.
“in your dreams.”
all is well that night, though max is naive to think it would last. the family quickly falls back into their old routine again and max is in pieces.