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Killua was going to lose his mind.
Every year, Gon and Killua would choose a new school club to join due to their constant boredom. Their freshman year, Gon had picked the swimming team. Their sophomore year, Killua selected the debate club. And now it was Gon’s turn to choose again. He went with theatre.
Killua doesn’t know why Gon would choose such an extravagant club, but the former was in no position to decline. He wasn’t fully against the idea when they first joined either, but what later followed had put the boy into an extreme panic.
The club was deciding what play they would perform this year, and of course, Romeo and Juliet was chosen. Killua, believe it or not, was a massive sap for romance, but he frequently deflected it as he thought it was embarrassing to admit.
So Killua was okay with doing the play. He’d just choose a small role and let the other actors take the lead, no big deal. That is, until Gon spoke up. Gon, and his big idiot self, decided to sign himself and Killua up for the lead roles, which was mortifying in itself. But when the director actually gave them the parts, he felt like he could throw up. Didn’t Gon know anything about the play? The lead characters literally make out— Killua was dreading that conversation alone.
So now, Killua was destined to be Gon’s Juliet— well technically Julian considering they changed the dynamic to fit the two actors. But Killua had severely mixed feelings about it.
On the one hand, being able to kiss Gon was only something he could dream about, so the fact that he would actually be able to do it was exhilarating. On the other hand, Killua had a hopeless crush on his friend, so actually kissing him would only deepen his unrequited feelings— which would not be good for him.
After getting the parts, Gon invited Killua to his house after school to talk about the play, and maybe do some homework if they felt like it— though that was unlikely.
Killua was currently sitting on Gon’s twin size bed, legs crossed over one another. Gon was digging through his backpack to search for his script that he left buried at the bottom of his cluttered bag. When he was finally able to locate said script, it was extremely crumpled and folded over. Not even surprising , Killua thought to himself.
“You’ve only had that thing for like an hour, how is it already that destroyed?” Killua teases.
“Hell if I know, I barely moved my bag,” Gon sighs.
“Can I ask you a question?” Killua suddenly asks. Gon looks up at him curiously.
“Sure, anything.”
“Why did you volunteer us to be the lead roles? You do realize this is a romance play, right?” Killua needed to know Gon’s thought process.
“Oh, easy. I just thought ‘go big or go home’, y’know?” Gon replies. He gets up from his desk chair and moves to sit next to Killua on the mattress.
“That’s…it?”
“Yeah, I really didn’t think that far ahead about it,” Gon laughs as he scratches the back of his neck. An odd feeling forms in Killua’s stomach. In a way, he felt a little disappointed in Gon’s reasoning. Of course, he didn’t want it for other reasons.
“And you’re okay with this, right, Killua?” Gon asks, gently placing his soft hand on Killua’s cold knee.
Killua stifles back a gasp at the innocuous contact and mumbles, “y-yeah, I’m fine with doing this.”
“Okay, great!” Gon beams. “There’s also part of the script we should maybe talk about”.
Killua hums, signalling for Gon to continue.
“The kiss scenes.”
Killua chokes on the air in his throat as his widened eyes meets Gon’s. He should have seen this coming.
“Uh— what about them exactly?” Killua asks, knowing full well what Gon meant.
“It’s just—” dear god, here it comes. Gon’s gonna tell him he doesn’t wanna kiss him and that they should skip the scenes entirely. This is quite possibly the most embarrassing way of getting rejected Killua could think of.
“I think we should practice them,” Gon deadpans. Killua uses every ounce of strength he has in his body to keep his jaw from falling to the floor. As much as he tried, he couldn’t help the light pink that washed over his face.
“You wanna practice it?” Killua repeats, needing confirmation that Gon in fact, did say that.
“I mean…yeah? I don’t have much experience in that area, and it’ll be awkward if we get on stage and brutally mess it up,” Gon laughs awkwardly.
“It’ll be strictly for the play, if that helps,” Gon quickly adds.
Strictly for the play.
Gon’s sentence replays in Killua’s head. The latter couldn’t help but feel a smidge of disappointment run through him. He should feel grateful that Gon even wants to kiss him, but his friend is only doing it for a project and nothing else. Killua tries to wipe the worries from his mind for another day, as he currently has his crush waiting patiently for an answer in front of him.
“I mean, if you think it’ll help, I don’t see why not,” Killua replies, trying his best to sound nonchalant. Gon smiles brightly, and that alone makes him regret nothing about their current situation.
“Do you maybe… wanna try now?” Gon asks cautiously, as if Killua would shatter if he was too straightforward. He wouldn’t be fully wrong.
Killua nods eagerly, and he watched as Gon slowly started closing the distance between them, giving the former all the time in the world to change his mind. It felt like torture from how slow he was moving. Killua watched Gon’s lips hover next to his mouth, and time froze. Killua could feel their breaths mingling, and it felt mesmerizing.
Finally, their lips connect softly and Killua feels a strong fuzzy feeling float throughout his whole body. Gon’s lips were fairly chapped, but Killua thinks it just made it better. Gon smelt incredibly sweet, similar to Aunt Mito’s chocolate chip cookies that she always bakes. The air surrounding them grew still as they slowly moved their mouths into a comfortable rhythm. Gon’s warm embrace was so soothing that Killua couldn’t help but move closer towards the former, deepening the kiss.
Killua pulls away first, in need of catching his breath, and Gon chases the touch.
“I thought you said you didn’t have much experience with this?” Killua asks, wondering how his friend seemed to know what he was doing.
“I only have a little, which is why I think this is helping,” Gon replies, capturing Killua in another warm kiss. Killua hums softly as Gon cups his face in his hands. His calloused skin sending sparks through Killua’s brain. In return, Killua rests one hand on Gon’s knee and the other under Gon’s chin, directing how his friend’s face moved.
The following months proceeded as such:
Killua goes to school, he practices for the play after school, he walks home with Gon, makes out with him on his bed, does homework, and the cycle repeats.
Soon enough, it was starting to be Killua’s favourite the part of the day, and he thought about it constantly. In boring math classes, at lunch, walking home, and especially in his room. It was a pleasant feeling he couldn’t get enough of, so he continued to stay drunk on it. There was one problem, though.
It was nothing more than practice .
They never talked about it, never did anything romantic outside Gon’s bedroom, and they both would say just practice at least three times a week. Though he appreciated Gon’s efforts to keep this casual outside their ‘deal’, he couldn’t help but feel somber. He sometimes hoped Gon would hold his hand whilst walking home, or would kiss him in hidden corners of their school. But he didn’t because this was nothing more than practice. Killua had to accept that.
Nevertheless, there were a few occasions where Killua really questioned if it was just practicing for the play.
It was a Wednesday afternoon, five weeks before the show was to occur, when Gon completely bulldozed through any normalcy they previously had. They were making out, as usual, when Gon suddenly pushed Killua down on his back, so the former was hovering over him. They locked eyes for five seconds (though it felt much long to Killua) and then continued to kiss, more coarse than they were used to.
It took Killua a few seconds to accommodate to their sudden change, but he didn’t have any complaints. Who would when your crush was kissing you like that? It was when Gon whispered into Killua’s ear where he really started losing his shit.
“You’re so pretty, y’know that?” Gon mumbled, and Killua used everything he had to stifle any noise from leaving his throat.
Killua was sick of how Gon kept making him feel so powerless, so he did the only thing he could do: retaliate.
Killua was the type of person to think things through, but when he was put in situations like this, any thought process he had completely disintegrated. So, Killua bit Gon’s bottom lip playfully, and he swore he heard the faintest sound of shock emerge from the latter. It was safe to say he would do that again in the future.
Four weeks passed quickly, and Killua was starting to feel anxious. There was only one week left before the show, and subsequently, they wouldn’t kiss anymore. It’s not like he wasn’t expecting it. He knew it would end eventually. But the deadline was coming sooner than he hoped, and there was nothing he could do about it. So, he did what any hopelessly infatuated person would do— he savored their week together, as if it was their last. In a way, it was. At least to Killua.
A week later, the show took place. Their scenes went smoothly, which was expected from how much they practiced.
Knowing that he kissed Gon in front of so many people left a weird feeling in Killua’s stomach. He liked the thought of everyone thinking Gon was his, even though in reality, he wasn’t. Not in the way Killua wanted, at least.
The night felt euphoric to say the least. Kissing under the stage lights, being complimented on their performance, and the way Gon wrapped his arm around Killua’s waist the entire night when talking to audience members.
A little after eleven pm, the two boys made their way home. They said goodnight to Aunt Mito as they tiredly made their way inside Gon’s bedroom.
“I can’t believe it’s over,” Killua comments. Though he meant the play, it had another meaning attached.
“I know! I think the performance went great,” Gon replies, smiling contently.
As they made their way to Gon’s bed, Gon pressed a light kiss to Killua’s cheek, causing the latter to twist his head to face Gon.
“The play’s over now,” Killua muttered, confused by Gon’s action.
Something weird flickered in Gon’s brown eyes. “Well yeah, but I mean there’s no harm in continuing to practice, right?”
Killua was actually starting to feel upset now. Was that all he was to him? Something he could practice on until he found someone else who was actually worthy of his romantic attention.
“Is that all I am to you?” Killua sneers, taking a step closer to Gon.
Gon’s eyes soften to an unreadable emotion, but doesn’t respond to his question. Killua hated it. He shoved Gon against the wall, one hand on the collar of his shirt and the other flat against the wall, trapping Gon beneath him.
“Answer me, damnnit!” Killua asks again, voice cracking slightly.
“Of course not,” Gon replies quietly, not fazed by their current position.
“Then what is this? What are we? You confuse me so damn much and I never know what you’re thinking,” Killua spits. His chest tightens and his mouth feels dry.
The lights in Gon’s room were off, so the moonlight was the only light source they had. But at that moment, when Killua’s confused gaze met Gon’s confident one, he had never seen so clearly.
“I think we both know the answer to that,” Gon finally answers, fingers trailing up Killua’s chest carelessly.
He couldn’t handle it any longer.
Killua crashes his lips onto Gon’s firmly. A sound of shock emits from Gon, so Killua presses harder, deeper.
Killua pulls away abruptly. “I hate you sometimes,” he murmurs.
“Doesn’t really feel like it,” Gon smirks and Killua has the urge to kiss it away. So, he does.
Their lips connect again, warm breaths mixing together, and a s they continued to kiss, Gon trailed his hands up Killua’s neck and into his fluffy hair. He daintily ran his fingers through his locks, and Killua realized how much he enjoyed having his hair played with.
“From the start…” Gon mumbles through soft kisses. “It was never just for practice.”
“I don’t think you understand what you do to me— it drove me crazy thinking you didn’t like me back,” Killua whispered as he placed gentle kisses along Gon’s cheekbone.
“I was scared that you didn’t feel the same as I did,” Gon starts. “So I tried to use the play as a cover. It was selfish, I know. I-I’m sorry.”
“You’re lucky you’re so beautiful,” Killua chuckles, placing a soft kiss to Gon’s forehead. He could see a dark blush rapidly spread over Gon’s face, so he peppered kisses all along his flushed cheeks.
Killua felt ecstatic knowing he could kiss Gon without it just for some dumb play, but because Gon liked him too.