Chapter Text
Alastor awoke to the noises of arguing coming from down stairs. What ever time it was, it was definitely too early for this. Well, he was wide awake now, and there was no sense in missing whatever fight was going on. Making his way to the lobby, he could now hear that it was Vaggie and Angel-no doubt the spider indulged in one of the hotel’s banned substances, or gotten into a fight and injured another demon. Nothing out of the ordinary was going on, he suspected.
“What the fuck’s it matter what I do on my own time?!”
“It matters because you’re supposed to be getting clean!”
Ah, drugs it was. He was right after all. What a surprise.
“Have you ever tried to go cold turkey, toots? Lem’me tell ya, not fun.”
Charlie piped up from behind Vaggie. “Look Angel, we know this isn’t easy for, you but please try to cut back. Just a little.”
Vaggie glared at Angel. Pinching the bridge of her nose, she sighed. “Ok fine, maybe you can take this slow… but can you please try to find a better way to fund your habit than prostitution. Just something… anything else.”
Angel smirked and leaned in closer. “You gonna it buy for me?”
Vaggie roared in frustration and threw the closest thingwith in reach at Angels head - which just so happened to be a half-full bottle that Husk had just opened. Angel ducked, the bottle flew past him and broke against the wall. Alastor was standing at the bottom of the stairs watching all of this with glee, a huge grin plastered on his face.
Even when to bottle almost hit him too.
It was a near miss.
Husk, not caring about what was going on until now, was furious.
“WHAT THE FUCK!” He ran a paw down his grumpy face. “I was still drinking that, asshole.” He then immediately grabbed another bottle from somewhere under the bar and proceeded drinking that.
“Sorry, Husk.” Charlie said.
“Yeah, whatever. Just ‘cause it’s shitty beer, doesn’t mean you can fucking waste it like that.” He said after a long swig. “If you have to fucking throw bottles at Polythene Pam, at least wait ‘til I’m done with ‘em”
Angel looked at him confused. “What’s Polythene Pam?”
“You, ya fucking idiot.”
Alastor was enjoying the show. No better way to get the day started than witnessing conflict and animosity between people who had been so recently forced to coexist in the same building. He loved watching them all rub each other the wrong way.
This was fun.
Vaggie brought Alastor out of his quiet appreciation of the moment by snapping at Angel. “As long as you’re checked in to the Happy Hotel-“
“It still says Hazbin, toots.”
“Um, yeah. Al could you, uhh… put that back at some point, please?” Charlie asked.
“Whatever for, my dear? Much more fitting the way it is now. Has a nicer ring to it too, I dare say.” He smiled at her.
Vaggie, now sick of the interruptions tried to get the conversation back on track. “Angel, as long as you are checked into THIS hotel, you’ll make an effort to fix your drug problem. And I’m not asking.” She pointed a finger at him.
“UUUUUghggghh fine. I’ll ‘make an effort’.” Angel groaned, putting air quotes around that last part.
Vaggie was just about ready to start screaming at him again when Charlie stepped in, hand on Vaggies shoulder. “Thank you, Angel.” She said. “I’m proud that you’re trying.”
“You’re too easy on him.” Vaggie grumbled, storming out of the room.
“Wait, Vaggs!” Charlie chased after her.
As long as you are checked into this hotel. Now, those words were giving Alastor an idea that just might appeal to the spider. Angel, now sitting on one of the couches in the lobby, all four arms crossed and looking very dejected.
Alastor walked over to him, arms clasped behind his back “Why so down my fine fellow?”
Angel shot him an annoyed look. “‘Why so down?’ Were you even listening? If I’d wanted to give up dust, I woulda already. Now I got this bitch all up in my case about it.” He huffed. Alastor sat on the couch next to him, still a good distance away from Angel.
“If I may…” He began. “Might I remind you of her exact words?”
“Ugh, do ya hafta?”
“Well, Angel, recall the precise phrasing dear Vagatha used. ‘As long as you are checked into this hotel.’ So, should you simply check out while you indulge, and then back in again afterwards, you would be abiding by her rule to the letter.” Alastor suggested casually.
Angels eyes went wide as a smile spread across his face. “That’s fucking genius, Smiles. But just one thing.” He raised an eyebrow. “Why ya helping me? Ain’t ya supposed to be on their side with hotel stuff? You know, helping to run this place or whatever?” He waved a hand in the air at the last word.
Alastor closed his eyes and shook his head. “Tut tut. Angel, I know it’s only been a few days since we met, but you really should know me better by now. I’m only on my side.” He dramatically placed a had on his chest at that. “I’m not helping you, per-say. Rather, I wish to see the undoubtably delightful look on Vagatha’s face when she discovers that you found a loophole in the conditions she set.”
Husk leaned over the bar at this. “Uh, Angel didn’t fucking think of shit. You told him to do that.”
“But I didn’t tell our dear spider to do anything.” Alastor leaped to his feet, grin widening. “I’m merely voicing a silly little thought. It’s hardly my fault if someone decides to take my musings to heart.”
Angles smiled mischievously at Husk “Yeah. He’s right, Husky-baby. Al’s got no sway in how I end up handling this. Strawberry boy’s just sayin’ what he thinks.”
“Exactly, no harm in speaking one’s mind from time to time.” Alastor said cheerfully.
“Fine, you chuckle-fucks do what you want. I never heard any of this.” Husk huffed and turned back to the glasses behind the bar.
“Well Angel, I, for one, look forward to seeing the outcome of all this.” Alastor spun on his heels and left the room. As Angel watched him go, he thought to himself the he might just have to take those musings to heart. Sure, Vaggie would be mad, but it would be worth it to know that he got one over on her. Even if it was Al’s idea, it didn’t matter to him.