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“Jiho, you can do it!”
Jiho glances over at the group of boys, then at her friend Siyeon. An uncertain expression appears on her face. “I don’t know…”
“Oh, come on,” says Siyeon. “You should believe in yourself. If you shy away from it, you’ll never be more than friends with Soobin.”
Soobin has been her crush for a few months now. She has known Soobin for a long time. Both of them have been attending the local church for years and joined the church's youth group at the same time, although Jiho is a year older. Jiho admits that Soobin has gotten handsome over the years, but she wasn't interested in him.
That changed when she joined the choir, where Soobin sings too. They became friends, and she noticed how nice and great Soobin is. Not only that, suddenly his smile was bright and his voice was pleasant to hear. Before Jiho even knew what was happening, she started to like him. It’s not hard to like her dongsaeng.
“But what if,” begins Jiho again. “What if he doesn’t like me like that? Then I ruined our friendship!”
Siyeon smiles mysteriously, which gives Jiho an eerie feeling. “You know what?”
Jiho frowns. “What? Spill it.”
“I think he likes you too,” Siyeon whispers and nods a few times to confirm. Jiho doesn't have time to protest, as Siyeon shushes her so she can continue. “Listen. He’s always nice to you, talks to you a lot, and laughs at your bad jokes. Hell, you even were at his house.”
“Don’t say hell here,” comments Jiho, they are still in church. Siyeon may not believe in God, she’s here because her parents don’t give her much of a choice, but Jiho is absolutely religious. Even if the other teenagers don’t think like that, it’s important to her.
Siyeon respects it. “Okay, sorry. But are you not seeing how Soobin is treating you?”
“First of all,” says Jiho. “Soobin is nice to everyone. I’m not special and my jokes aren't bad! Aside from that, my parents and I were invited to his family. It wasn’t like I was there alone with him.”
The objections don’t seem to change Siyeon’s opinion. “Still, there is something between the two of you. I can see and feel it.”
A heavy sigh leaves Jiho’s mouth. “If you say so… then how should I talk to him?”
“Like always. Be casual and cool. Don't make a big deal out of asking him out on a date."
“It’s a pretty big deal to me.” Jiho never asked a boy out, she was always too shy. Now at nineteen, she’s more self-confident than her younger self, but it’s still a big step for her.
“Let me give you a few tips,” says her friend and names a few points. In all honesty, the tips aren’t that helpful, nonetheless Jiho appreciates how Siyeon wants to help her. After a while, the church service begins, and instead of talking, they turn their attention to the prayers.
Later on, the choir sings too and standing next to Soobin, Jiho can listen to his beautiful singing even more. It’s soft and nice to listen to. In contrast, her voice is mediocre and needs more training.
Time flies by and most people begin to leave. Siyeon also leaves with her family. Jiho, on the other hand, stays, she has time on Sundays to help the church. Be it to clean up or to plan something for the next church service, Jiho wants to be helpful. Except for her, not many people remain here today.
But Soobin is here. Soobin, with his fluffy black hair and cute dimples.
Soobin, who is currently walking towards her. Jiho tries to breathe normally.
“Noona, hey. We didn’t talk today, how are you?” Alone the word Noona from Soobin’s mouth makes Jiho’s heart beat faster.
“Oh, I’m fine, you know, nothing new… haha, yeah.” Jiho feels her cheeks burn. “You? Are you studying diligently for your university entrance exam?”
Her dongsaeng pouts. “Yes, but it takes so much time. Alongside school, it’s hard, but I do my best. I probably won't be able to go to church often in the next few weeks because of my studies. "
Oh, that doesn’t sound good to Jiho. That means she can't see him for a while. Except in church, she doesn’t really have contact with Soobin.
“Should I help you clean up?” Soobin asks. “I have some time before I have to go.”
That would be a great opportunity to spend time with him, even if they had to hold a rag and a broom. “That would be so nice of you, Soobin.”
While they are tidying up, they talk to each other. Jiho tells a joke about horses and Soobin bursts out laughing. As Siyeon said, he indeed laughs at her ‘bad’ jokes… nobody does that.
Is there some truth in Siyeon’s assumptions? Does Soobin maybe like her a little? Should she give it a try and ask him out? Would this be a good idea?
While she thinks about it, it takes half an hour until they are finished. Soobin seems ready to go and grabs his bag.
“I’m going then, Noona,” Soobin says and already waves to her.
Oh no, if Jiho wants something to happen between them, she should start talking. Like, right now. With a deep breath, she folds her hands and looks everywhere except Soobin.
“Say, Soobin,” she mumbles, her head swirling with various scenarios. Bad scenarios. This is harder than she thought. “I know it comes suddenly and of course you don't have to do it! I would be happy, but it’s your choice and I accept it-”
“What are you saying?” Soobin sounds confused.
Here goes nothing.
“Would you like to-”
“Soobin-ah?”
A nasal voice calls him and both Soobin and Jiho turn to face the entrance.
There stands a young man, his hair red as blood. It’s parted and gives a good view of his face. Which is gorgeous if you ask Jiho. His eyes are feline, his eyebrows are prominent and a shiny piercing hangs from his pillow-like lips. Those aren’t the only things she notices. A choker decorates his neck, the big edgy shirt is tucked into his jeans, which has holes and the black boots make him taller. But the significant feature is his dark tattoo that covers his entire right arm.
Jiho never expected to see such a… view in her church. It’s a bit strange.
“Hyung?” Next to her, Soobin is a bit surprised. “What are you doing here?”
The man, who is apparently someone Soobin knows, walks to them. He appears to be a little concerned. “I was waiting for you outside, but you took longer than you said.”
Soobin puts his hand on his neck and smiles apologetically. “Sorry, I started helping and talking to Noona and lost the time.”
As if the man realizes her presence for the first time, he looks at her. Jiho shivers under his intense gaze. This close, she sees that he has a skeleton tattoo on his arm. Uff, how sinister. Her parents would warn her about people who look like this.
However, as soon as he smiles friendly, her shakiness goes away. Now he looks like a normal boy.
“Hi, my name is Choi Yeonjun,” he introduces himself. “Who are you?”
“Ah, I’m Nam Jiho. Nice to meet you.”
Yeonjun says the same and after the formal greeting, his attention returns to Soobin. Strangely enough, his gaze softens when he looks at the younger boy.
“If you want to stay longer, I can wait in the car.”
Soobin shakes his head. “No, no, you shouldn’t wait longer. I was about to leave anyway.” As if remembering the moment before Yeonjun burst in, Soobin looks at her. “You wanted to say something, right?”
All of Jiho’s confidence is gone now and she’s shrinking into herself. With Yeonjun next to them, she doesn’t dare to ask Soobin out. Impossible, that would be embarrassing and humiliating.
Like the slow thinker she is, a few seconds pass in silence before something comes out of her mouth. “Yeah, right, I wanted to say… ask… whether you also want to take the university entrance exam at my university? My uni is good and… I think you would like it there. That’s it, haha.”
Oh my god, how awkward can she be? She can’t believe herself. How can anyone fall in love with her when she is so embarrassing. No wonder she hasn’t dated anybody yet.
Even now, Soobin remains kind and just smiles at her. “I actually plan to do it, Noona. Yeonjun Hyung goes to this university too.”
How come Jiho never noticed Yeonjun? Alone the red hair attracts all attention.
At this topic, Yeonjun’s curiosity increases. “What are you studying, Jiho-ssi?”
“Architecture, you?”
“My major is music.”
That’s how we met, too,” says Soobin. “Yeonjunnie Hyung and I were in the music club in high school. We became friends and now… yeah.” His gentle smile at Yeonjun and the name-calling get Jiho thinking.
They seem to be very good friends.
Soobin dresses neatly, behaves well and is the nicest human, while Yeonjun’s entire appearance screams for trouble. Soobin with his angelic face and innocent nature and Yeonjun with his dark clothes and frightening gaze.
They look quite funny together.
Don’t get Jiho wrong, she just didn’t think Soobin has friends who look exactly the opposite of him.
Yeonjun smiles back with the same softness. “Only a few more months and you’ll join us at the university. Oh, my baby is growing up.” He ruffles Soobin’s hair and to Jiho’s surprise, Soobin lets him do it without complaining.
“Don’t call me baby,” Soobin mutters and Yeonjun raises his eyebrows.
“But you love-”
Behind them, a woman is coughing loudly, hands on the hips. “Jiho. Soobin. I’m very grateful for your help, but I would appreciate it if you take your conversation with your… friend outside the Church. That bothers the people here.”
What? To talk here in church has never been a problem, and there aren't even many people lingering here. Jiho observes the woman staring at Yeonjun with a disapproving look as if he wasn’t welcome here. Ohh, he isn’t welcomed here.
Jiho doesn’t like this. So far, Yeonjun has been friendly and not disturbing anyone, the woman just doesn’t seem to approve of the boy's looks. Her judgement is literally written in her eyes.
Soobin and Yeonjun also realize it and although Soobin smiles falter, he nods curtly. “Okay, we’re going now. Sorry for the disturbance you faced.”
The sarcasm cannot be ignored, even the woman hears it, her lips turning upside down. The comment doesn’t make her happy at all, nonetheless, she lets it slide and walks away.
Jiho is a little shocked to hear something like that from Soobin. He is always super polite to the elders. This behavior is unusual for him.
Meanwhile, Yeonjun places his hand on Soobin’s shoulder. As if this would calm him down. “It’s okay. You shouldn’t say something.”
“But Hyung,” Soobin protests, but remains quiet when Yeonjun lays his finger over his lips.
“You know I’m used to this. It’s okay, just let’s get out of here.”
Although Soobin isn't content with this reply, he says nothing. Jiho feels the tense atmosphere between them. No doubt, this hasn't happened for the first time, and it bothers Soobin seemingly. To be honest, Jiho is not familiar with people who don't look like the Korean society expects, however that’s no reason to despise them. Yeonjun seems like a cool person and if Soobin is friends with him, he is certainly good.
To break this uncomfortable silence, Jiho claps her hand together. “So, I pack my things and then drive home. You both should go too, since you seem to have… some plans.”
The smile on Soobin’s face comes back. “Yes, we’ll go then. Have a nice day, Noona! I will write to you.”
He waves cutely and Yeonjun says Bye to her. Weakly, Jiho says goodbye and both of them leave the church.
That didn't go the way she wanted it to. Not at all. Even if Yeonjun is nice, he still ruined her chance to date Soobin. She might ask another time, but who knows if Jiho will have the guts to do it. As Soobin mentioned, he doesn't have much time to get to church, so it may be a long time before she sees him again. Should she ask him through chatting? This idea doesn’t sound appealing to Jiho.
How she wishes she could ask him.
There is still a chance… to do it now.
Soobin is likely still outside. She should run after him and finally utter her question. She can ask Yeonjun to leave them alone for a few minutes, he’ll definitely do it. As Siyeon said, she shouldn’t shy away.
Jiho tries to motivate herself with some encouraging words. She can do it, yes. Be confident and strong! She's going to ask Soobin out on a date, there's no other option but that.
With a burst of energy, she walks out and looks around. There, she can see them in the parking lot. Relieved that he's still there, Jiho takes a few steps ahead before she falters.
In front of her eyes, she sees Soobin and Yeonjun. Soobin, who is leaning against the other boy with his whole body, his head resting on the older man's hair. Yeonjun, who has his tattooed arm around Soobin’s waist, rather tightly.
Soobin laughs at something Yeonjun says, and Jiho has never seen Soobin smile so brightly and happily. Somehow, Yeonjun stares at Soobin with so much tenderness as if Soobin is special to him.
This scene is very intimate and Jiho understands.
Oh.
She turns around and goes back to the church to fetch her things. As much as she tries to ignore her droning head, she can’t disregard her heart, it hurts like needles piercing through it. Who thought…
Even though she feels miserable, she is happy for Soobin and Yeonjun. They deserve to be happy in this hateful world.
-
“Jiho-ssi was really nice,” Yeonjun says as he drives on the road.
Soobin hums. “Yeah, she is great to talk to. Her short height is cute too.”
Yeonjun giggles and parks the car when they arrive at his apartment. Once the car stops moving, he glances at Soobin with a pout. “Am I not cute enough?”
With a playful hint, Soobin rolls his eyes. “Yes, yes, you are. My boyfriend is so cute.”
Yeonjun seems satisfied with this answer and leans over to him. Soobin knows what’s going to happen next and already puckers his lips.
As expected, Yeonjun kisses him, soft and full of love. Unfortunately, his boyfriend moves away, the kiss is too short for his liking. Soobin wanted to pull on the piercing but oh well, he’ll have time for that later.
“Come on darling, let’s get inside. You’re here, so I can help you with your studies.”
A sly smirk decorates his face and Soobin slaps him on the shoulder.
“Don’t even pretend, you have other things in mind.”
Yeonjun shrugs innocently. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Soobin knows this is going to be a long evening.