Archive of Our Own ^beta

If any of the legends had bet on Octane getting a date, like the ongoing bet of who Loba would end up with, they all would have bet on never . So Octane could almost proudly boast to them when he ended up dating Bloodhound- which was even more shocking than the news he was dating in general.

“Yuh two are total opposites,” Lifeline had told the daredevil “I’m rootin’ for yuh, Silva, but I dunno about this.”

What did she know? Dating couldn’t be that hard, right? And the fact they were opposites just meant better odds. Opposites attract is what Octane always heard.

But… Bloodhound was so stoic and private around others. It gave them such a mysterious vibe. And when the two found their time alone together? They suddenly were so open about feelings and their life to him and funny and how they smiled… Oh, how they smiled. Octane never knew the expression of butterflies in ones’ stomach, but anytime he looked at them, he felt like he was jumping from the dropship- but also like he was drowning.

Octavio Silva never did love. He didn’t know what changed with Bloodhound. But he asked them out- almost like it would be shot down immediately with a laugh. But they said yes, and Octane just felt lost from there. His heart and mind conflicted on his feelings and how he should progress- was kissing okay? Would they even want physical contact from him? Octane hesitated over every action he wanted to take in this relationship, because the longer they were together, the more he realized he had no idea what he was doing.

Bloodhound was such a poet, too, and always open to trying his own interests. From his favorite foods to his favorite hobbies, the hunter was almost eager to see into his world- and that’s what scared Octane the most. They would understand a lack of parents, but his parents weren’t… Forever gone like their own. The way they lost their uncle. The way they lost their first and only love- until him. How could he amount to any of that? How could he be what they needed, or what they wanted? Let alone that Bloodhound didn’t know anything about his life story while they were so willing to share their own life with him. It was love, it was trust- and he couldn’t even return that.

Who could even survive dating him, he wondered, staring off at the blue sky above them on Olympus.

“Octavio?” A voice spoke up- Bloodhound’s voice. He almost forgot they were here.

“Yeah?” He replied, trying to keep his voice from faltering from how he felt like he was drowning in his own mind.

“You were spacing off at the sky. And while that is not anything bad…” The hunter spoke softly, the feeling like they were scared of him or something. Was he making some stupid face while spacing out? “You normally do not sit still that long. Not even for a second, really.”

Octane was quiet, thinking over what to say. It didn’t really matter what he said- Bloodhound normally didn’t let things go. Sure, if he insisted it was fine, but lately he knows he’s been off. Skittish. Afraid his feelings were going to take them away-

“Did you hear me?”

Octane blinked, looking to Bloodhound with a nervous smile and tugging at his mask that was hanging around his neck in a fidget “Ah- well.. Um..”

“You can be honest. I do not judge.”

They never judged. They always seemed so accepting- how? Why?

“...No. I’m sorry. I wasn’t listening.” He mumbled like admitting this would get him scolded, but his partner merely smiled at him. Even with the red tint of their goggles, their smile was beautiful. “That is alright. I was just letting you know that you can talk to me. Even if you know this already- I want you to fully know you have my support, no matter what plagues you.” They spoke so softly, so earnestly.. His heart melted at their words, but he still felt guarded around them.

Octane just breathed a laugh, leaning back against the tree the two had sat under. Their dates weren’t flashy- ever. Bloodhound said they never minded public scenes, but.. Octane wanted them comfortable. He wanted to see them , and not the persona they put on when around hoards of fans. So he always planned private dates- secluded park walks, being alone in Casa de Octane…

“Tavi.”

The more pushy tone had him tensing, feeling Bloodhound place a gentle hand over top of his own as their face greeted his eyes with a frown. He hated seeing them frown. The tears they shed in front of him from all their pain. He wished he could take it all away.

“I know something bothers you, my love. I do not wish to force you to speak to me, but I do not want to see you suffer in silence. So even if all you do is admit something is the matter, it helps in the mass of things.” A brief silence that felt like eternity, gnawing at Octane’s heart and consciousness as he struggled a mental battle with himself. Partners had to be honest with their feelings, but… What if those feelings hurt? Or they caused the two of them to drift? Love was scary, love was freeing. Octane wanted to run, but also not look back as he did.

He let out a quiet sigh from his nose, head moving from looking at Bloodhound to looking up at the blue sky again. “...No, I’m good-” “You are not good. Something is eating at you.” Octane couldn’t help the scowl that went over his face. Why couldn’t they just ignore his feelings like everyone else? It was easier to ignore them, he would be over it eventually like he always did. The jaw he didn’t know he clenched were greeted with hands that gently cupped his face, followed by a gentle push so he was looking at Bloodhound again. They had removed their helm and their goggles, their concerned brown eyes greeting his own- a brown that had a mix of green in it when the sun shined on them just right. Octane always got lost in those eyes that seemed to gaze into his soul.

“Please,” Bloodhound gently urged, tilting their head a bit with a small smile “I do not wish to see you so troubled. You do not speak as much because of it.”

Octane snorted with a roll of his eyes, glancing off to the side to avoid looking at Bloodhound. It was almost like a spell to look at them with how much they made him swoon- or a curse. “Others would call that a blessing.” He weakly joked, which got a laugh out of Bloodhound- nothing big and outrageous. It was soft, barely a breath, something Octane wished he could hear all the time. “It is no blessing to me. I would pray for the Allfather to undo this blessing if it truly is one.” He couldn’t help but smile despite how terrible he felt. How could someone so patient and caring want to deal with him? Octane closed his eyes, trying to quiet any demons that must be living in his mind, feeling the hunter’s gloved thumbs brush against his cheeks. Was… Was he crying? Octane’s eyes reopened and he sniffed a bit, seeing Bloodhound still looking at him with a smile, but eyes of concern and the thumbs of their gloves resting on his cheeks looked partially wet. Great, he was crying.

“...How can you love me when I’m a total wreck? I really don’t get it, *sabueso.” Octane muttered with a bitter laugh, wanting to move his face out of their hands, a touch he didn’t deserve. But he leaned more into their hands with a sense of greed to the action. “I don’t wanna say I’m a shitty person. But I don’t understand what you’re feeling for me and what I’m feeling. Stupid, huh? A 24 year old who knows nothing about love.” He almost sulked in their hands like he was melting into a puddle, shifting himself a bit to fold his metal legs under himself. “...If this was just some bet you made with Fuse or somethin’ you can just tell me-” “Octavio.”

He stopped, not wanting to meet Bloodhound’s face, but as they tempted his face back up- lips touched against his own. Nothing serious, it was just.. Soft. It made him feel soft. And he thinks he started to cry worse with how he hiccuped when their face moved away. “I love you, * ást . I love you with all my heart, which was not made to be faked for any reason. You know I do not like to make these bets with the other legends, let alone the outrageous dares they do. I am with you because I want to be with you through everything. I want to be yours, and you as mine, if it is something you do not doubt is real. If you think your feelings lied to you, that you do not love me, then-” “No! No- I..” Octane interrupted, trailing off with a few attempts of words with his mouth opening and closing as he struggled on what to actually add. “...Sorry. We’re just interrupting each other at this point.”

“Do not apologize.” Bloodhound smiled out, sitting back and releasing his face and offering their hands to his own to hold. “Speak. I wish to listen.” Octane watched them blankly, his hesitation clear as his hands wringed together for a few moments. Bloodhound moved to take their hands back, but paused as the daredevil finally accepted their embrace. “I… Do love you. If this is love. I’ve had… Flings, y’know? But nothing like this, where even holding your hand felt like it was too soon. But I don’t know what that means. I know you could argue that I love Che, but it feels… Different. When I’m with you, everything feels way more personal, and almost like a precious secret. Which is sappy as hell coming from me, but it’s what I feel.” He paused with a wheeze, Bloodhound gently reminding him to breathe- deep breaths in, long exhales out. “But I have so much I’m feeling. None of it’s negative if that’s what you’re worried about, it’s all so… Positive. So much so I feel like it’s a waste for you to be with me who doesn’t know what I’m doing or how to even organize my thoughts. There’s so many, I don’t know how to figure them out to know exactly how I’m feeling or what I want to do.”

Octane paused to breathe again, his hands squeezing at Bloodhound’s own which gently returned the gesture “And that’s… Just what I have. It isn’t much because there’s too much to say and to try and piece together exactly how to say it. But…” He trailed off, looking at Bloodhound who blinked at him “...But. I can say with full confidence that I do… Love you. And I’m sorry that you have to deal with this, me… You hardly need anything else on your plate...” He grumbled his last few words, realizing how selfish this all must be. It was over between them for sure, wasn’t it?

But Bloodhound surprised him- they were always full of surprises. They had gently tried to get him in a hug, clearly ready to back off if he didn’t want it, but Octane slumped into their arms and rested his chin against their shoulder with a sniff, one of his hands wiping at his eyes as the other snaked around their waist. “This is nothing I have to deal with. But I am choosing to deal with it for your sake, you cannot push through this alone. Feel no guilt for ‘ my plate’ as you called it. Yes, I have suffered through hardships, as has anyone else. But this does not make your problems lesser than mine, nor must either of our issues be ignored for the other. We suffer, but that does not mean we must suffer alone.” Bloodhound spoke with such a softness to their voice, fondness as their face pushed into his hair to kiss his head of green hair- green hair they loved to comment on. How it was ‘very him’ and he would always say how he hoped so since green was ‘ his thing’. “So please do not shun yourself away from me in fear of hurting me. We are together as one, * ást - Thus we work together through our troubles to better our future selves and the future of our relationship.”

Octane sniffed as tears felt like waterfalls, head shifting to shove his face into their shoulder as he muffled his crying like the world would judge him. A hand rubbed against his back, the other gently petting over his head as Bloodhound let silence fall over the two of them to let Octane release his emotions. The sadness, the guilt, the self pity and hatred that began to swarm him of continuing weeks and weeks into a relationship he felt he didn’t deserve. That he didn’t know how to partake in. He never figured the lack of love in his life would affect him romantically- he never had negative love. But he overall never had love either- his first familial love was Lifeline, a sister not of blood but a sister all the same. A door to knowing blood meant nothing for family, but rather the feelings you had for each other. He didn’t know a father, let alone a mother in any of the women his father was with- and maybe seeing his father bounce from woman to woman so freely affected his perspective on love itself.

But in the end it seemed it was almost the same- love did not matter for the differences between the two of you, or any history you two had. Only the feelings you shared for each other.

“Tavi?” Bloodhound quietly said, hesitantly breaking the silence between the two of them as Octane’s sobs seemed to settle. His face shuffled free from the fluffy collar of their coat, sniffling a bit before speaking “Yeah, B?”

“May I take that as a ‘yes’ to no longer suffering alone?”

Octane laughed- a weak laugh from his cries, but not enough that it was upsetting “Yes, *amor. No more suffering alone for either of us.” 

Bloodhound smiled at the daredevil with their hand brushing through his hair some more “Good. I am glad. Do not worry about what you provide in our relationship, just know I love you, and all I want in return is shared feelings. There are no other expectations here.”

“Can lunch be an expectation?” Octane lilted out, shuffling out of the hug while wiping his face free of tears, a slight grin on his face “I skipped brunch today. I’m really hungry.” He joked, the words getting an earnest laugh out of Bloodhound to wiped away a few more stray tears from his face “Lunch may be an expectation. Entirely disturbing news to know you missed one of your five whole meals in the day.” They joked back- the words making Octane’s heart partially flutter as he beamed at Bloodhound who got up first and extended a hand out to him “Would you like to order something? It is easier, as you have told me.”

Octane took Bloodhound’s hand and let the hunter pull him up, leaning in further from the pull to kiss their lips- before plopping their helm he had snatched back onto their head with a grin “Hells yeah. Let’s order a big ass pizza or something. Put on some shitty movie for background noise.” He said while Bloodhound had readjusted their hat, looking to the daredevil who seemed to have almost a complete mood flip. No, his bad feelings weren’t totally gone- and maybe they never would be. But they were going to be here no matter what plagued him. Octavio Silva was their beloved. “Sounds like a, ah.. Hella? Cool night?”

The attempt had Octane howling in laughter, offering Bloodhound’s goggles to them as he nudged his shoulder against their own to get them both walking “Oy vey... I love you. But please don’t say hella. Like… Ever again. No one uses that. Except maybe Fuse when he’s trying to be hip.”

“Noted. Hella is not in the Silva dictionary, but rather in Fitzroy's dictionary of hipness . I will study harder.” Bloodhound teased as they walked with Octane to head back inside, the shorter man leaning against them “You have a lot to learn, but I guess now we both do, huh?”

“It seems we do.” Bloodhound snorted out, wrapping an arm around Octane’s waist “I love you, Tavi.”

An arm around their shoulders from Octane, who took a deep breath before he replied

“I love you, too, B.”

And for once, the words finally felt right coming out of his mouth.