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It's rare that Kara and Alex have enough downtime to visit Eliza for more than a few days at a time, but with Nxly defeated and a team full of superpowered friends to watch over the city in their absence, they decide to go on a real vacation for the first time since Kara became Supergirl. A whole two weeks road tripping cross-country in the convertible, with pit stops planned at all the major landmarks from LA to DC. Kara's been dying to see the Hoover Dam ever since she learned the word 'hoover' and couldn't stop laughing anytime anyone said it for weeks. After all, not going would be a disservice to Jeremiah, who had popped around just about every corner in the house as Kara rounded it just to grin and whisper "hoover" to make her laugh.
Unfortunately, they make the decision to go the week after Kara finally breaks down and adopts a cat from the local shelter. She'd put it off for years because she didn't have the money in case the poor baby had special needs. After all, she'd never get a cat she wasn't absolutely sure she could take care of.
But now, with a reporter's salary and some money saved up and a best friend/roommate who just so happens to be a billionaire, she's confident their new pal Jerry will love his new home. She's still a little disappointed that Alex and Kelly denied Esme's request to get a mouse and name it Tom, but she promised her niece she'd try to work on Alex on the ride to Midvale.
In the meantime, she has to figure out how to ask Lena - who'd only agreed to adopting Jerry after over a month of Kara pleading and pouting and sending her PowerPoints like 'Why We Should Get A Cat' and '50 Reasons A Cat Would Be A Great Roommate' and Kara's personal favorite (if only because of how much it made Lena laugh) 'Pussy Power: Stronger In Threes' - to watch little Jerry for a whole two weeks. Which would probably be a whole lot easier if Lena actually liked him.
They'd done fine when Lena had held him on the ride home, though Jerry had taken a few minutes (and Lena a few scratches) to get used to the feeling of flying, but it almost seems like she's been avoiding him ever since. Kara knows the Luthors never had pets, and she didn't expect them to become best friends right away, but she thought Lena would at least scratch his head when he sat next to her on the couch or even just stand still while he rubbed against her leg for a minute.
But Kara's been trying for days to get them acquainted and every time Jerry gets close, Lena hesitates and shies away. And with only three days until they're supposed to leave, she doubts much will change before she has to tell Lena. So, she heaves a sigh as she turns to face her best friend on the couch, hitting pause on the movie she hasn't really been watching and running a reassuring hand over Jerry's head as the movement stirs him from his evening nap. Lena quirks an eyebrow and Kara purses her lips, taking a deep breath to steady herself.
"So, um...I need to ask you something." A flash of what almost looks like fear passes through Lena's eyes and Kara starts to worry that she found out about their trip and was hoping Kara would ask someone else to care for Jerry. Realistically, she could probably ask Kelly, Nia, or J'onn to watch him (and yes, she did cry when she found out Brainy is allergic. it's just so sad!), but she doesn't want to take him out of his new home so soon. She feels bad enough for leaving him at all, but who knows how long they'll have before the next big bad shows up and all their time is once again commandeered by crimefighting?
So, she steels herself again and pushes through. "Alex and I were talking and we realized we haven't seen Eliza since Jeremiah died, let alone gone on vacation with her for more than a few days since I became Supergirl. So, we were thinking of taking a cross-country road trip."
Lena loosens a bit - though where the tension was coming from, Kara isn't exactly sure - and smiles softly, but regret mars her otherwise regal features. "Oh, Kara, you know I'd love to go, but I can't leave the Foundation for that long when it's just gotten up and running." Kara winces at the realization that - though she'd known Lena couldn't go (and had, in fact, specifically not told her about the trip early enough for her to try to take the time off anyway) - she probably still should have asked her first.
But her reaction has already made it clear that wasn't the intended question, so Lena chuckles softly and dips her chin. And Kara does her damnedest not to get distracted by the blush that dusts its way across porcelain cheeks and the pale chest that peers out from between her V-neck, but Lena's just so pretty when she gets flustered like this, so can Kara really be held responsible when Lena looks back up and catches her staring?
Kara hates that she can't tell if Lena even notices - let alone if she thinks anything of it - but she's not surprised. She's more than fluent in Lena Kieran Luthor by now, and Kara's never had a problem telling when she's being honest or not, but trying to discern how Lena feels about her has always been like looking at her through stained glass. She gets so lost in the colors and lines and changing of the light that she can never see the bigger picture. And it's no different now as Lena huffs an easy laugh.
"Right, of course, you...already knew that and weren't asking me to go," the CEO clarifies, and Kara relaxes a bit. She takes a moment to appreciate the fact that, a couple of months ago, Lena may still have doubted their recently mended friendship enough to think Kara didn't ask her because she didn't want her to come. But now, Lena has complete faith in her, and Kara wants to show her that she has complete faith in Lena, too.
"I did, and I wasn't, and I hate to add another thing to your plate, but I was hoping..." she trails off for a moment as Lena lifts her head again and her heartbeat stutters and the vibrancy of those emerald eyes, but she mentally shakes herself out of it and continues. "I was hoping you wouldn't mind taking care of Jerry while we're gone."
Realization slowly dons the Luthor's face as she glances down at the tiny calico ball resting in Kara's lap, and Kara isn't the least bit surprised when those bright green eyes widen in horror.
"Kara, I'm-- I'm not so sure that's a good idea, you see, cats and I don't really get along, and--" Kara cuts her off, determined to convince her it won't be as bad as she thinks.
"Lena, it'll be fine, I promise! Look at him, he sleeps most of the time anyway and you don't have to play with him or anything like that, just make sure he has food and water and the litter is clean." She immediately knows she's made a mistake as Lena's nose scrunches in disgust.
"Litter?" The CEO says it the same way she does when she finds out the mansplainers are going to be on this morning's conference call, and Kara has to stifle a laugh.
"It's not that bad, I promise. And the more often you clean it, the less gross it is, so if you just do it at the end of the night you should both be fine!" Kara reassures, but Lena doesn't look convinced.
"I don't know, Kara, aren't you worried he'll feel...neglected?" She glances at Jerry and for a second Kara almost thinks she looks concerned for the little guy, but any genuine worry is abandoned as she elaborates. "I mean, I'd hate for him to get so desperate he tries to snuggle up to me or - gods forbid - lay on my laptop like I hear cats love to do."
Kara can't help but smile as Lena drones on dramatically about her aversion to the cat, but every second just makes it more clear to Kara that the only thing that will end this tension between them is some quality alone time.
"I'll have Kelly, Esme, and Nia stop over every couple days to play with him, don't worry. But his toys are in my side table drawer if you do decide you want them." She wiggles her brows playfully and Lena just rolls her eyes. She's silent for a moment, looking again between a beaming Kara and the small domesticated predator, before heaving a resigned sigh.
"Fine, then, I guess I can handle food, water, and litter for a week or two. You are only leaving for a week or two, right?"
Kara chuckles, "yeah, just two weeks." Lena is visibly disappointed that it's the longest end of the range she'd given, but Kara can't quite tell if it's because she has to watch Jerry or because this is the first time they'll be apart for more than a few days since their reconciliation. Even Lena's trip to Ireland had gotten cut short on the third day after that giant magical cat attacked National City.
But the heiress just nods in understanding, leaning toward the coffee table to retrieve her near-empty glass of wine. She swirls the dark liquid around the glass for a few moments before sighing. "Guess I'm going to have to go get another bottle or five. Stock up for the storm."
Kara laughs, deep and full, and rolls her eyes as she beams at her best friend. "You're so dramatic."
"You know me," Lena shrugs and winks, and for a moment they're back in the Tower eating potstickers after recovering the humanity totem, and Kara feels that same warmth and contentment spread through her chest until it starts to burn again and she forces herself back into the present.
"Yeah, I do, which is why I know you'll be fine with Jerry while I'm gone," Kara's smug smirk is met with another eye roll as Lena downs the last of the wine in her glass.
"Mmm, but fine is a very vague descriptor," she's doing that thing again where she ducks her chin and looks up at Kara through those playfully narrowed eyes and thick lashes, and Kara's brain stutters for a moment, leaving her silent with an undoubtedly dopey smile painted her face, so she just shakes her head.
"Well, whatever version of fine you are, you can always call if you need anything," she nods to Lena's wrist, where her Signal Watch sits as snug as it has since they'd defeated Nxly and Kara could finally relax enough to let Lena out of her sight. For a while there, she really had become the damsel in the Tower - her magic too powerful and unpredictable to fight alongside them, her brother too not incarcerated for her to go home, and Kara's apartment too far from the Tower for someone without the ability to fly who often needs to come in at a moment's notice.
Lena had thought the watch a bit excessive at first, since their greatest threats were vanquished and, without the time pressure of the last several months, they'd decided it best for Lena to move in with Kara while she's still figuring out her powers. But then Mitch had reappeared in Naxim's ship - having tracked Lena's magic signature in hopes of getting revenge for Nxly, whom the love totem had revealed his affection for - and blown Kara's windows to hell, almost taking Lena's head along with them. Thankfully, Kara had only been down the hall getting some rosemary for the spell Lena had been working on from Mrs. Needleberg, so she'd heard the canons priming to fire and gotten Lena out before the blast. But not once since that night has Lena's left wrist been bare, and Kara's peace of mind has never been better.
Lena smiles softly and nods, then turns back to the TV as Kara presses play again, both of them sinking into the cushions and savoring the way their shoulders brush as Kara runs a hand through Jerry's long, colorful fur.
"Feel free to brush him, though! He loves to be brushed - even on his tummy," Kara beams, and Lena just rolls her eyes again as she tries and fails to hide her smile. ----------
So, maybe the cameras were a bit excessive, but Kara certainly doesn't regret getting them as she watches Lena try to maneuver around the kitchen, legs hurdling over an excitedly pacing Jerry as he waits impatiently for his dinner. Her instructions were simple enough and Lena had no problem the night before, but apparently leaving the younger woman to her own devices makes it much more difficult. She'd remembered what she needed to do and where everything was perfectly fine, but every time she went to do it, Jerry would brush up against her leg or run in front of her or let out a meow that sounded more like a howl and startle her into forgetting what she was doing.
Kara hadn't thought about it the night before because he'd been rubbing up against her legs like he always does as Lena had gone through his routine, but she feels a twinge of guilt for not having warned her that he'd do the same to her once Kara was gone. She can't help but bust out laughing when Lena finally sets his bowl down on the mat and scurries away like her life depends on it.
"Wait, you actually went through with it?!" Alex shoots her an incredulous sideways glance from the driver's seat as she looks between the road, Kara, and her phone and shakes her head in disapproval. "Kara, you worry way too much. They're fine. They'll be fine. What, you don't trust Lena?" Her tone is playful, since she obviously knows it isn't true, but that doesn't stop Kara from leveling her with an outraged glare.
"Of course not, Alex, I'm just worried about her. About both of them! I mean, Lena's never had a pet or even pet satbefore, and it's not like her and Jerry are best friends. This is going to be hard for both of them, I just wanted to be able to keep an eye on them just in case they need me."
"Kara..." Alex's expression asks a very clear 'really?' and Kara sighs.
"I know, I know, I'm being overprotective, but with how quiet everything has been lately, can you blame me? I mean, it took every one of our other friends to convince us to even go on this trip, especially since Kelly and Esme had to stay behind for the social services follow-up, and I'm still having doubts. It feels like every time we let ourselves have a minute to breathe, something blows up or someone gets kidnapped or any of the millions of things that go wrong in our lives on a daily basis throws our plans out the window. Can you really fault me for being a little extra cautious?" Alex purses her lips, sighing as a guilty smile paints itself onto her face.
"Full disclosure?" Kara nods and Alex grabs her phone from the center console, unlocking it and clicking an app without even looking at the screen. Kara recognizes the icon and her eyes go wide just as Alex confesses, "I got them, too." Kara takes the phone and finds an image of Esme and Kelly snuggling on the couch watching TV together staring back at her, and her heart melts almost as much as it had watching Lena.
----------
Two weeks is way too long.
"I understand, of course, that you miss your families, but really girls? It's only been three days and it seems more like you're counting the rest down than planning how to enjoy them. You've been glued to those live feeds every minute Kelly, Esme, and Lena have been home."
"Sorry, mom," Alex sighs, slipping her phone into her back pocket as her mouth quirks to the side in an apologetic smile. Kara does the same, mumbling an equally ashamed apology and trying not to think about Eliza referring to Lena and Jerry as her 'family' in the same way she knows Kelly and Esme are Alex's.
"It's just so hard being so far away and not knowing how they are. I mean, Esme is finally getting the hang of her powers and Kelly just started her new job at the hospital, so a lot is changing and it just feels wrong not being there." As soon as she says it, her face softens with regret, but the damage has already been done.
Eliza sighs, heavy and resigned, and starts to sit up. "Well, then, it sounds like it might be time to get you two back home."
"NO!" They shout in unison, flying forward to sit up in their own pool chairs and turning to face her, each of them extending an arm to stop her ascent in its tracks.
"That's not what I meant, mom, I'm really sorry," Alex stresses.
"Yeah, we love our Danvers Girls vacations, and as much as we might miss them, this is something we've wanted to do for a long time. It's just hard, ya know, letting ourselves do it. Even knowing things are calm and they're probably safe, there's still this instinct, like...like we're the only ones who can really protect them - even from everyday threats. So, it isn't just missing being around them, it almost feels like we're...letting them down by not being there." Alex nods solemnly, her face sagging with relief as Kara manages to put their fear and reluctance to relax into words.
Eliza smiles softly, eyes those of a mother who knows the feeling Kara has described all too well. "I understand that, girls, you know I do. After your father disappeared," she takes a deep breath as the still-new grief of Jeremiah's final absence washes over them, then ebbs out, "I couldn't stand the thought of leaving the two of you.
There were so many opportunities that I turned down because they would've meant too much time away from you. And, while I don't regret a single moment of all that extra time we got to spend together, there are times when I wonder 'what if'? I don't ever want you guys to wonder if you held yourselves back because of your responsibilities to your families, and it starts with little stuff like this.
Let yourselves enjoy your vacation. It's going to be one of the few things you don't have to pass up because of all that supering you do. Trust in your friends and family the way I was eventually able to trust both of you. They'll be okay, I promise." They share a warm, content smile as the sisters make a promise in return.
"And we'll make sure to limit screentime to the end of the night, when we're back in the hotel and resting."
----------
They get in so late the next few nights - between the karaoke and the midnight bingo and the water polo match her and Alex may have gotten a bit too into - that it's day 5 before Kara can check in again. On the cameras, that is. Of course, she and Alex had never agreed to stop texting Lena and Kelly. But she could not be more grateful for Eliza keeping them in check as she snuggles into bed and opens the security app to find Lena seamlessly finishing up Jerry's routine as he brushes against the hand that gently sets his bowl down, and Kara finds herself wishing she could see Lena's face as she doesn't flinch away from the touch.
There's something so simple about it, and Kara is only mildly surprised when she feels affectionate tears stinging at the corners of her eyes. She watches for a bit as Lena gets ready for bed, trying not to feel too guilty at the disappointment that courses through her when Lena disappears behind the divider to their room to change. It's not like this is the first time Kara has thought about Lena like that, but it feels extra invasive with the cameras, so she closes the app and plugs her phone in, content to go to sleep with the image of Lena and Jerry peacefully coexisting replaying in her mind. But Lena has other plans as her phone buzzes with a text.
[Lena]: Video call?
[Kara]: Of course! Everything okay?
[Lena]: Yeah, just a really long day. I could use a best friend rant right about now.
Kara smiles to herself and chuckles softly as she turns her bedside lamp back on and hits the 'call' button, Lena's exhausted face greeting her with a soft smile of her own.
"Hey," it's almost a whisper, but Kara's hearing picks it up easily.
"Hi," she breathes, relief settling into her bones as she's finally able to believe that Lena is okay. Seeing and hearing her on the cameras is one thing, but nothing beats the feeling of looking into Lena's tired yet determined eyes as she relays the day's events, and Kara lets herself wander into and get lost in sleepy green forests and stress-strained melodies.
"How's vacation?"
"Really fun, but it would be better if you were here. What's going on with the Foundation?"
"Oh, the Foundation is fine. It's the investors that are the problem. The men have a tendency to think their word outweighs mine, even with shares less than 10% each. I spent six hours today having to explain to them why we can't forego the inspections on the new low-income apartment buildings to save money. It's like talking to a bunch of greedy third graders. I know I didn't have much of a choice in working with them if I wanted to get the foundation off the ground, but days like this make me question if it was even worth it when all they do is talk over me." Kara sighs heavily, the weight of Lena's frustration compressing her chest like an anvill.
"Aw, hey, Lena, of course it's worth it. I mean, how many of those idiots have you had to put up with in your life, and - no matter how much they may have delayed things - how many of them were actually able to stop you from getting done anything and everything you wanted?" Lena blushes, but nods in agreement.
"I guess," she smiles reluctantly.
"You guess? Since when does Lena Luthor guess? You know, humility is a great trait to have, but not when it turns into self doubt. You've got this, Lena. In a few months, those investors won't matter anyway, because you'll be able to buy their shares out from under them. So, from now on, when they get on your nerves like this, just picture their faces the moment it happens. That's what I do with our bad guys. Anytime I start to doubt if we can defeat them, I just picture all the faces of the ones we've overcome before, and it gets me through. Maybe it can do the same for you."
Lena's eyes sparkle with an emotion that Kara can't quite put a name to, but she feels it in her soul as the younger woman looks right through the phone and into the Kryptonian's eyes with glittering green caverns of appreciation and reverence.
"Yeah, maybe," Lena sighs contentedly, and the conversation is all but forgotten as they lay silently on beds more than 1,000 miles apart that, for the moment, may as well be one and the same. Kara searches emerald eyes for any trace of understanding and reciprocity of the feelings that have overwhelmed her since they secured the love totem two months ago, but the eyes that stare back at her hold only question and mystery as Kara lets out a slow, heavy breath.
"What's wrong, darling?" Kara feels the pet name like a hammer to the heart, but she keeps her face a neutral mask as she shrugs the shoulder still visible on the small screen.
"Just miss you...and Jerry," she adds, hoping against hope that the pain of the distance isn't making the underlying truth too obvious. Lena just huffs a sleepy laugh as her eyes struggle to stay open.
"We miss you, too. And I'm sure you were glad to see us getting along earlier," Lena's eyes open fully as a knowing smirk spreads across her face, and Kara's mouth falls open.
"What -...I don't -"
"Relax, Kara," Lena smiles, and it's so genuine that Kara's anxieties instantly vanish. "I don't mind the cameras. In fact, I completely understand them. I'm just glad Eliza managed to convince you to take it down a notch. With as often as that little green light was on, I was beginning to worry you didn't trust me as much as you claimed," she wiggles her eyebrows playfully, all the tensions of their past rift forgotten, before a yawn takes over and Kara smiles gently.
"Yeah, well, if we're talking about how much I trust you to get to bed at a reasonable hour - I don't. Do I need to call Nia, or are you actually going to go to sleep if we hang up?" Lena pouts at the mention of hanging up and Kara tries not to read too much into it.
"Sleep is for the weak," she mumbles, but her eyes hold only resignation as another yawn overtakes her. "But fine. I promise to sleep if you do."
"Deal."
And who is Kara to complain if neither of them actually gets around to hanging up?
----------
"I'm crazy, right? I'm totally crazy." Kara laments, throwing her hands in the air as she paces around the small hotel room, Eliza and Alex both sitting cross-legged on the bed to give her more room. Of all the things to happen on the last day of their trip, just before she's due to return home to Lena and Jerry.
"Honey, no, of course you're not crazy," Eliza reassures her, but Alex barks a laugh.
"Maybe not regular crazy, but crazy stupid for sure." Eliza levels her with a glare and Alex throws her hands up in defense, but she doesn't back down. "What? Come on, mom, you know it's true! She's completely oblivious!"
"Alex," she warns, eyes darting worriedly between them as Kara glares at Alex with immense frustration and confusion.
"Oblivious to what?!" Kara huffs, and all Alex can do is roll her eyes.
"Lena knows you have the cameras, right?"
"Yeahhhh," Kara agrees, still not understanding the direction Alex is going in.
"And she knows when you're watching because there's a green light that goes on?"
"Yes. But what does that -"
"And you heard her say to Jerry - and I quote - 'you're such a handsome boy, just like your daddy!' right?" Kara doesn't appreciate the mocking in her tone, but she nods in confirmation, still lost as she waits for Alex to elaborate, but her sister just stares at her expectantly before facepalming at the continued silence.
"Oh my god, Kara, she wanted you to hear it! She knew you were listening! I mean, she's been flirting with you since you met, but this is a whole new level. She's completely given up on subtlety because you're so dense, and honestly? I can't believe she waited this long." Kara stares hard at Alex, mind slow to process as she looks back down at the phone in her hand and the image of Lena brushing Jerry's tummy with the softest, most perfect smile on her face.
Kara looks completely dumbfounded, pacing halted as she stands wide-eyed in the middle of the room. Eliza rises slowly from the bed and makes her way over, resting a hand on Kara's shoulder as the Kryptonian struggles to process her sister's words.
"Honey, I know you're scared. And I know how hard it is for you to let yourself be happy, but..." she trails off, looking unsure of her next words, but she pushes through. "But you love her." Kara's heart jumps into her throat at the sound of the words she's dreaded since that night with Mxy when those alternate realities had confirmed her worst fears. Such simple words, but with so much potential. Though, whether that's the potential for unparalleled happiness or endless suffering, she still isn't quite sure.
She'd known that night, without a doubt, that she couldn't live without Lena. Survive, sure. Be happy, maybe...sometimes. But not live. Not in all the ways her friendship with Lena has shown her she's meant to. So, from the moment Lena had shown up at her apartment - proverbial hat in hand, finally clear on who she'd become and what she'd done and what she needed to do to fix it - Kara had promised herself she'd never let her go again.
And being secretly in love with your unreciprocating best friend is one surefire way to lose her forever. Especially when the last big secret between you nearly destroyed everything. So, Kara had resigned herself to keeping one last secret - one she wouldn't ever share. If she couldn't be sure Lena felt the same, she couldn't take the chance of losing her, so she'd keep her feelings hidden.
But her heart had suddenly stopped hearing everything but the sound of Lena effectively calling her handsome. It felt too good to be true. Sure, Lena had told her she was bi years ago, but Kara had always thought the flirting was just how she was with everyone. But now she can't stop thinking of every shy lip bite and lascivious wink and suggestive eyebrow quirk that had her shaking in the knees and whether that's what Lena had intended all along. She knows her mouth is still hanging open like a broken nutcracker, but she can't bring herself to form words, and her continued silence paints pity onto the faces of her sister and adoptive mother.
"Kara," Alex's tone is much gentler now, but still pleading as she tries to help catch Kara's mind up to her heart. "You're scared to lose her. That's why you haven't admitted it to anyone, let alone told Lena. And I understand that. But I also know," Alex wraps her hand around the back of Kara's head then, forcing blue eyes to look hard into brown and see the truth Kara hasn't been able to trust her own eyes to recognize, "that she's in love with you, too." Kara remains silent for another few moments, looking between Eliza and Alex for any hint of doubt or hesitation that might quell the fight or flight instinct rising within her. But there is none. So, she chooses flight.
She vaguely registers Alex yelling to her that she better come back to get them tonight, because they have to check out soon and they'd only agreed to driving one way cross-country, but her mind and heart and every ounce of her processing power is back in her apartment in National City. With her family.
----------
"You called me handsome."
The sound of Kara's voice pulls Lena from her reverie, the hand that's been running the brush over Jerry's belly coming to a halt as her head snaps up to find the Woman of Steel marching through the balcony door. Her hands cling to her hips like she's demanding an explanation from a criminal, and Lena takes a moment to drink in the broad shoulders and chest, the thick biceps, and the toned legs that strain against the blue fabric of her supersuit. But Kara tracks her stare and darts into their bedroom to change before resuming her previous stance, careful not to hurt Jerry as he rubs against her.
Lena just smirks. "Technically, I believe I called Jerry handsome." She stands, slowly sauntering forward, and Kara can't help but return the smile, mischief glinting in both their eyes as they slowly but surely give in to the tension between them.
"Yeah, like his daddy," Kara drawls pointedly, tongue darting out to wet her lips as she hears the playful lull of Lena's voice in her mind once more.
Lena's sly smirk spreads into a smug grin as she shamelessly looks Kara up and down again, core flooding with devastating heat thinking about all the times she's dreamt of calling Kara that to her face. Somehow, though, it's almost better hearing the older woman refer to herself that way.
"Well, if I'd known that's what it would take to finally get you to confess, I'd have started calling you daddy years ago." Kara's eyes go dark and Lena bites her lip, anticipation building as the last of the walls between them are finally torn down. There's a moment of silence - tense and charged and impatient - as they stare at each other before Kara's face suddenly softens with the thought of confessions, and Lena feels the harsh pang of unspoken emotion ring through her chest.
"I love you." It's barely a whisper, but Lena feels as if the words have pinned her to the spot, and once Kara says them, she's helpless against the flood of emotion that follows. "Rao, Lena, I'm so in love with you that most of the time I forget how to breathe when you're not around. And I hate that it took losing you for me to admit it to myself, and I really hate that it took me this long to admit it to you, but I need you to know now - without a doubt.
I love you, Lena Luthor. I am unequivocally, indescribably, hopelessly in love with you. And I'm the paragon of hope. But without you, I have none." Lena feels the words wrap around her, holding her heart in a vice grip as Kara drops her head and continues. "I should've told you this a long time ago, but when you were still only considering working with Lex...Mxy showed up. He said his punishment after I captured him was that he could only use his powers to help those he'd wronged, and he, um..." Kara trails off, anxiety bubbling up in her chest, making the words catch in her throat, but she steels herself and trudges on.
"He offered me the chance to go back in time and choose when I told you my secret." Lena's jaw drops, and the grip around her heart tightens until only the sound of the blood rushing in her ears can reassure her the damn thing is still beating. "And he offered to make it reality, if that's what I chose."
Lena audibly chokes at that, confusion and concern flooding her features as she tries to process this new information. "Kara," she breathes, but her voice is lost as the older woman finally meets her eyes again.
"That's why I was so adamant about not interfering between Corto Maltese and Kaznia when we were going after the hope totem. I saw what that kind of interference could do, and I was terrified of making a mistake that Mxy couldn't just snap his fingers and fix." Lena is at a loss, eyes brimming with tears as the weight of Kara's confession forces her backward until the backs of her knees hit the couch and she sits down hard. Kara follows, never allowing the distance between them to grow as she sits beside the woman she loves.
Lena remains silent for a moment, processing and considering, a million questions swimming in her eyes before one finally settles.
"What...what happened?" Kara's smile is soft and pained and regretful, but she just shakes her head softly.
"Too much for me to explain now, but that's why I came to your apartment that night I told you I'd have to stop you if you decided to work with Lex. When I first captured Mxy, I told him that love couldn't be forced - that it has to be found. And at the end of the night, when I decided to stop trying to change my mistakes and just live with them, he thanked me. He said it was the first time he actually felt like he had friends.
And then he said 'that magic can't be forced, it has to be found' and I realized all I'd done since our fallout was try to push you to forgive me, to recognize the darkness on the path you were going down. That's why I told you that your actions were your own. I knew that, eventually, you would see it for yourself and it would be your choice to walk back into the light in your own time."
Lena blinks in surprise. "You...knew I'd come back?"
If possible, Kara's smile softens even further as she reaches a hand out to rest atop Lena's where it sits on the heiress's knee.
"Of course, I did. I won't say I wasn't worried, I mean, I was scared enough to consider altering reality. But only because I wasn't sure how much damage Lex would do to you - and to the world - while you were figuring it out. But I never once doubted you'd find yourself back on the right side of things. I wasn't sure we'd still have a friendship to save once you did, but I always knew the good in you would win out. I haven't doubted that once since I met you. And I never will."
The tears welling in Lena's eyes finally spill over, Kara's hand coming up instinctively to wipe them from her cheeks, and she's not sure she can rely on words to express everything she's feeling right now. So, she doesn't. Instead, she leans in, eyes fluttering closed as the hero's soft, warm lips ghost over hers before finally closing the last of the distance between them.
And all at once, they are everything and nothing.
They are every movie night on Kara's couch; every potsticker and pizza and pie they've ever shared; every declaration of their faith and trust in each other; every boundary broken and line crossed and mistake made in the name of protecting one another; every flustered blush, stolen glance, and longing stare; and every instinct and hope and desire they've fought so hard for the last five years coming to life in a moment that exists outside space and time and all things tangible.
But they are nothing but desperate, heaving breaths and hungrily wandering hands that twitch and ache with the need to be closer, to be one - to reunite the particles that danced in the light of stars that knew no death so many eons ago; the pieces of their souls that have drawn them closer than two people have ever been. Nothing but sloppy kisses and clashing teeth and ripped clothes that trail to the bed they've shared with such strongly suppressed need for weeks.
And neither of them has ever been happier to be so lost.
----------
Kara wakes the next morning to the feeling of Lena's warm back pressed to her bare chest, dark locks blurring her vision as she smiles, soft and content, into the kiss she presses to her love's shoulder. The younger woman stirs, slowly turning in Kara's arms to face her before kissing her slow and deep.
"Thank Rao for home security cameras with audio," Kara chuckles softly as their foreheads come to rest together and they each take a moment to soak in the feeling of it - of them. They're silent for a few minutes before Kara feels Lena's brow crinkle against her forehead and she pulls back slightly, question and concern flooding her bright blue eyes.
"What's wrong?" Kara asks before she realizes that Lena's gaze is playfully curious.
"Nothing, I was just wondering what took you so long to get here after you heard me call you handsome?" She smirks, quirking an eyebrow in that way that always does Kara in, until Kara suddenly remembers what she'd been doing in the interim - who she'd been talking to. Her eyes go wide and she's out of bed and in her supersuit in an instant, the bewildered look on Lena's face the last thing she sees as she guiltily exclaims 'Alex and Eliza!' before taking off out the window.
Lena sighs, rolling onto her back and laughing to herself about the absurdity of it all, when Jerry jumps on the bed and curls up on her stomach. She runs a hand over him gently before moving to scratch his head, smiling when she feels the soft rumble of his purrs vibrating in her gut.
"Thanks, Jer Ber," she quips, only partially mocking Kara's affectionate nickname for the admittedly adorable little guy. "I couldn't have done it without you."