Work Text:
Kouichi took a deep breath as he walked into the darkly-lit room with something in his hand. He knew to make this conversation successful and to get what he wanted, he needed to be smart in his bribery tactics. He approached the table where his client had already been sitting, her hands fiddling with a stuffed cat toy on her lap. Kouichi sat down on the other side of the table, turning serious.
“Kozume-san, we need to have a serious conversation.” He started out, eyeing for her reaction. “Your answer will decide whether or not we’ll survive.”
“You sound stupid, Kou-chan.” She giggled, breaking the tense atmosphere Kouichi tried to set up. The 10-year-old sighed, narrowing his eyes.
“I’m being serious here, Kimiko.” He decided to use his secret weapon. He reached over and set down a small carton of chocolate milk onto the table and knew immediately he had gotten his sister’s attention. “Do we have a deal here?”
“You didn’t even tell me what you’re planning…” Kimiko reached up for the chocolate milk but Kouichi quickly yanked it back, out of her reach.
She puffed out of her cheeks, sending him a glare. “It’s papa’s birthday soon and I am sick of losing to tou-chan.” Kouichi ignored her attempt at intimidation, “help me make him a surprise birthday present and I’ll buy you these for the next week.” He set the carton back down.
“Deal.” Kimiko grabbed onto the carton and quickly took the straw out. She hummed happily, taking the straw out of the plastic before stabbing the carton to enjoy her reward. “So, what’s your plan?”
“Kou-chan… Do you even have enough money?” Kimiko watched the way Kouichi was looking through different kinds of apples. One was red, the other was green. Some looked small while others looked large. How was he supposed to know which one to buy? Maybe the cheapest one? But would that even make a decent pie? “Stop overthinking.”
“And you should stop distracting me.” Kouichi set the apples back to their shelves. “Go find your chocolate milk.” He shooed her away.
She huffed, slapping his hand away. “You can’t chase me away like that.” She then walked over, getting on her tip toe and pointed up. “Tetsu-papa always buys those kinds of apples whenever he plans to make pie for Kenma-papa.” She recalled, “he would always buy a few.”
“A few is not helpful, Kimiko.” Kouichi sighed, bringing out the ingredient list. “If we’re staying on budget… I guess I can only buy like 2 or 3…” He slumped down. “Guess we’re making a mini pie.”
“It’s the snot that counts.”
Kouichi whipped his head to the side. “The what ?”
“The snot.”
“Snot?”
Kimiko nodded, “that’s what Tetsu-papa always said. You don’t need to go big. As long as Kenma-papa knows we’re doing our best for him.”
Kouichi could feel the cogs in his brain working for a bit before it finally clicked. He couldn’t help the snort that came after before he broke out into his cackle. Kimiko obviously wasn’t impressed, especially at the hideous sound and after what she had just said.
“Don’t laugh.”
“Kimiko. It’s the thoughts , not the snot .” Kouichi tried to even his breathing, holding onto his stomach. “I’d stop eating apple pie if I knew snots were in the ingredients.”
“Don’t make fun of me!” She huffed, punching him on the side while Kouichi picked some apples to settle into his basket.
Kouichi chuckled, patting onto her. “Sorry. Come on, let’s go get you some milk as promised.” He grabbed onto her hand and led her down the aisle he knew to sell her favorite. Kimiko let go of his hand once they arrived and immediately went to find her end of the deal.
Kimiko beamed, grabbing onto the packet of small milk cartons and turned back to Kouichi. She then saw Kouichi holding onto his wallet, mumbling something under his breath. She glanced at the basket full of ingredients before turning back to the pack she was holding.
“Eh?” Kouichi looked up, noticing Kimiko walking back empty-handed before reaching for his hand. “You don’t want your milk?”
She gave him a small shake. “We can get it next time. I don’t really want some right now.”
Kouichi blinked, looking at how she was already tugging onto his hand and pointing at the cashier. He couldn’t help but to smile, ruffling her head with his freehand before he went to grab the basket.
Kimiko watched worriedly at how shaky Kouichi’s hand was holding onto the knife. She stood on her toes to lean onto the counter, watching Kouichi cutting the apples carefully. “Are you sure it’s safe for you to use a knife?”
“Do you not trust me?” He sounded a little offended, “I’ve been helping tou-chan cook for a while now, I know my stuff.”
“But he usually only had you wash the vegetables.” She countered.
“Don’t worry… As long as I-“ The knife sliced down the apple in one smooth motion had Kouichi suddenly yank his hands back. He could feel his heart beating against his chest, maybe it was trying to escape, he’s not sure. He raised his hand to examine them for any potential fingers lost. “We’re fine.” He let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.
“Kou-chan, this is too dangerous.”
“It’s fine. I’m done, anyway…” He slid the knife far away from them and glanced at the messy uneven chunks of apples in front of him. “This will do…” He glanced at the piece of paper in front of him. It really was hard asking his grandmother to help write out the furigana for these kanji in the family recipe. But he really wanted to surprise Kenma for once - especially when Tetsurou would always give the best gifts.
“What are we doing next?”
“Make the crust…”
Kouichi read the instructions aloud while helping out Kimiko with prepping for the ingredients. They laid out all the ingredients for the crust and Kouichi really was glad he was decent at Math or this would have been a very huge problem. Between the 10-year-old and his 5-year-old sister who couldn’t read well or do Math yet, Kouichi knew he had to carry this one for the team. He helped Kimiko with all the measurements, making sure to leave the mess to a minimum.
“Oi, don’t just pick up the whole flour bag-“ Kouichi breathed in a mouthful of flour as Kimiko dropped the bag onto the counter, causing a huge flour explosion. He coughed out the flour, blinking to see if any got into his eyes as he looked down. “Told you it’s heavy…”
“Kou-chan, you look like Olaf!” She giggled, suddenly reaching into the bag for more fists full and threw it at Kouichi. Kouichi was about to shout at Kimiko when they heard the door sliding open and both kids froze on the spot.
“I’m home!” Tetsurou called out as he took off his shoes and made his way out of the genkan. “Kou? Kimiko? Sorry for taking so long. I ran into Koutarou at the market so I-“ He walked into the kitchen and stopped dead in his track.
Tetsurou gave himself a few seconds to analyze the warzone that was the kitchen in front of him. He began to scan from left to right while making a mental checklist.
Nothing on fire? Check.
No smoke? Also check.
Two floured-up children? Yep.
Indoor snowin- flour all over his kitchen and the floor and literally everywhere else? Uh huh. Those will definitely be a pain to wipe.
His eyes then landed onto the chopping boards with chunks of uneven apples. His eyes widened and he quickly ran over, searching the board to see if he could find any skins. Or blood. Or a fingernail.
Kouichi sighed at his antic, “tou-chan, none of us cut ourselves.” Tetsurou turned to grab onto his hands, ignoring all the flour and gave it a careful scan. He proceeded to his daughter, giving it a thorough check.
Once he made sure his children were somewhat unharmed and no one was bleeding, he moved back to face the children, his hands on his hips. “So… Care to explain? You know I told you not to be in the kitchen alone without supervision.”
Kouichi bit onto his lips and guilt began to form in the pit of his stomach. He could see; could tell that Tetsurou was disappointed. And worse of all, he did make him worry. He lowered his gaze to the floor, fidgeting with his fingers.
“We were… Just trying to make something for papa…”
“For Kenma?” Tetsurou needed more explanation. He then glanced to the side at Kimiko playing with the flour, seemingly unfazed at the tension.
“We were just-“
“Kou-chan, I’m Elsa!” Kimiko exclaimed loudly, throwing more fists full of flour onto the two males. She giggled loudly, watching the way flour was floating in the air around them. Especially how Tetsurou and Kouichi’s signature jet black hairs were now covered with white.
Kouichi shot a glare at her, huffing out and ignoring how he just breathed flour out from his nose. “Kimiko, stop. I’m trying to explain something here.”
Tetsurou scanned the countertops before it finally clicked. He took one more glance at the ingredients behind them and turned to his children. “Are you two trying to make apple pie?”
Kouichi nodded slowly. “We were just preparing to make the crust.”
“By cosplaying as Olaf?”
As if that had triggered Kimiko, Kimiko then suddenly blurted out Let it Go and threw more flour up into the air. Kouichi let out a screech, very much annoyed at how she had very much ruined his favorite hoodie while Tetsurou fortunately had more patience in him and reached out to grab onto her hands. Though he was trying his best not to choke on any flour that was entering through his mouth and nose.
“Sweetie, we can play Elsa later. But flour is not a good substitute for snow.” He dusted off the bits of flour out of her face. “Do we understand?”
“Yes papa.” She giggled.
The sound of footsteps shuffling towards them was heard and when they turned around, they spotted the streamer standing by the doorway, a very unimpressed look on his face as he scanned the kitchen. He scrunched up his nose at how much flour had covered the room.
“Right… I don’t want anything to do with this.” He grabbed onto the water pitcher and quickly disappeared. “You better not make any more mess in my house!” Was the last warning they got before Kenma made his way back into his office.
Tetsurou let out a sigh, turning around. “Let’s get this place cleaned up…” He looked at the frown on his son’s face and could see he was playing with his fingers, a habit he noticed that often indicated that he was nervous or anxious. “Kou? Were you… Were you trying to surprise Kenma for his birthday?”
Kouichi nodded slowly, “you always bring papa the best present on his birthday… I just wanted to… At least once… Do something…” He whispered out the last sentence and Tetsurou blinked. He turned to Kimiko, seeing she had already calmed down from her Elsa role playing and was looking at her brother with a frown.
Tetsurou let out a fond smile, reaching his hand up to ruffle his son’s hair lightly, mindful of the pile of flour on his head. “Kou, you know you never have to compete with me for your father.” He snickered, “Kenma may be bad with words, but I can assure you that you two are his greatest gifts.”
“Sap…”
Tetsurou laughed, “I know it’s a cliché answer but it’s true.” He hummed, “now come on, I’ll help you make the crust and bake the pie. Then we can surprise your father.” He winked and the children’s eyes immediately beamed up, nodding excitingly.
Kenma squinted his eyes, grumbling at the countless numbers of emails he still had yet to reply. He leaned back onto his chair, raising his hand to rub the bridge of his nose. The CEO ran the deadlines through his head, knowing he still had yet to finish editing his video for tomorrow’s post too. God, Kenma really wished the work could do it themselves.
After resting his eyes for a bit, Kenma straightened back up to resume working when he heard the sound of door knock. He glanced back and before he could open his mouth, the door burst open and he jumped up, his eyes widened from surprise.
“Surprise!” Kouichi and Kimiko shouted while they held onto a plate.
Kenma blinked at the object in their hands before glancing up to the three. He could see all three covered in flour from head to toe. Heck, Kouichi had so much flour on his head, it looked like he just dyed his hair to copy Kotarou. The streamer then turned to his husband, raising his brow at how his suit was also covered in flour. They would definitely need to bring that out to the professional.
“I don’t want to know what happened but don’t you dare step one foot inside my office with those-“ Kimiko suddenly ran in and into his arms, ignoring everything he had just said. Kenma scrunched up his nose at how the flour from her was now falling onto his black hoodie. “Kimiko…” He saw his husband and son were walking in as well. The streamer furrowed his brows at how there were now not one, but three floured-footsteps inside his office.
Kimiko then tilted up, “happy birthday, papa!” She flashed him a huge smile and the streamer couldn’t bring himself to be mad before sighing, a small smile then graced his lips.
“Thank you…” He glanced at the pie in Kouichi’s hands.
“Papa is smiling.” Kouichi gasped with Tetsurou nodding eagerly. Both the boys froze when Kenma shot them a glare before glancing down at the floured footsteps trails on the floor, a silent threat that the mess should be cleaned effectively.
After knowing he got his message across, he eyed the pie. “Did you three made it?”
“Both Kou and Kimiko did. Though, I didn’t even know until I got home.” Tetsurou knew he messed up when he saw the fear in Kenma’s eyes. They knew Kenma saw the mess downstairs, but he really thought it was his husband supervising the kids - and possibly, contributed to the mess. But to know they were down there, unsupervised with knives and fire-
“P-Papa! It’s ok! None of us got hurt!” Kouichi was quick to jump in while Kenma grabbed onto Kimiko’s hands, looking through for any potential cuts or even dry blood. “Both of us didn’t lose anything.”
“We did lose a lot of flour, though...”
“Kenma-papa! Kou-chan and I got to play Elsa!” Kimiko giggled, jumping up and down, making the flour on her fall off. Kenma’s frown was immediate and Tetsurou knew he had to act before Kenma lost his cool at the mess.
“I’ll put the pie downstairs for later then. I’ll start cleaning immediately.” Tetsurou murmured and quickly headed downstairs with Kouichi following behind.
Kouichi made sure to cover up the pie before placing it in the fridge. He turned around to see Tetsurou had already rolled up his sleeve to prepare himself for the mess. The young Kozume moved back, scanning the kitchen before grabbing the broom that his father was about to reach.
“Tou-chan, let me help…”
The smile on Tetsurou’s face couldn’t be missed and the two raven heads began wiping down the warzone. Not a few minutes later, Kenma was making his way downstairs with Kimiko and a very obvious powdered face-shaped spot on his black hoodie.
“Kou-chan! Let me help you too!” She volunteered, quickly running over to Kouichi.
Kenma gave the room a quick scan, his brows furrowing deeper at the mess. The kitchen was almost unrecognizable because of all the flour. He didn’t want to know how they were able to cause such a catastrophe.
“For the record, they really didn’t lose a finger.” Tetsurou waltzed over to his husband.
“They really did this without you knowing?”
“You should have seen me panicking for a good 5 minutes when I saw the chopping board.” He snorted, “but I did not know.” He smiled, watching Kimiko help sweep the flour into the trash can.
“Give me a logical explanation on how it snowed indoors.”
“You heard Kimiko. She was having fun playing Elsa.” Tetsurou snickered, “and well… She was trying to make Kou into Olaf.”
“That explains the bad dye job.” Kenma sighed, “I’m going to prepare the bath then.”
“Kenma-kun~ You want to bathe with me?” Tetsurou winked, elbowing his husband.
Kenma was quick to swat his arm away but the blush was evident on his face. “I will seriously murder you in cold blood, Tetsurou.” He struggled to push Tetsurou away when his husband suddenly wrapped his arms around him, trying to pull him in for a hug. “Don’t you dare hug me!”
“But I didn’t even get a welcome home kiss~” He whined, pulling Kenma in closer.
“I don’t want any more flour on me!”
“Disgusting…” Kouichi sighed, watching Tetsurou make an attempt to kiss Kenma from behind the kitchen island. He glanced over to see Kimiko watching curiously before he moved his hand to cover her eyes. “Let me protect your innocence for a bit longer."