Work Text:
Exsilio (v.): to spring, to emerge, to bound
"Kun?"
"Hmm?" Kun turned from the kitchen to see Johnny beckoning him to come closer to the coffee table where the taller guy is currently hunching in front of.
“You should stop working at the coffee table. You’re going to ruin your back. I already told you, you’re free to use my desk,” Kun chided softly.
Johnny merely grinned, patting the space next to him.
"Tell me what do you think," Johnny said, turning his laptop screen to the side as Kun sat next to him.
"What is it?"
Kun looked at the screen in mild confusion. There's a picture of an apartment blueprint showing on the screen.
"You have an apartment project?" Kun asked.
"Yeah. Not like a whole building though. I'm just asked to design this particular unit."
"Oh, so it's like… for a client's personal home?"
"You can say that. What do you think? I was tasked with renovating this unit. He wanted some specific things. Wait, let me show you the mock up," Johnny said, opening an application to show Kun the 3D model of the apartment interior.
"Oh! The kitchen looks good!" Kun commented immediately.
Of course it's the kitchen that Kun noticed first , Johnny mused.
"You think so? That's why I needed your opinion on this. The client wanted to have some windows in the kitchen and a kitchen island. What do you think of the island placement here? I was thinking of putting the dining table… here. It's pretty much an open concept, so the kitchen, dining room, and living room are connected," Johnny explained, moving his cursor to show Kun his points.
"I think it's great. Your client has a good taste," Kun chuckled.
"What about the living room here? The client wanted to keep indoor plants and he was really particular about wanting to have a big window."
"That's a good idea. A big window will let in natural light to come into the apartment, so definitely good for the plants. Does the unit have a balcony?" Kun asked.
"Yeah, connected to the bedroom. Here's the main bedroom, this is the office space, and this is the empty guest room."
"Oh, the bedroom looks warm and comfortable. I like the cream walls," Kun commented.
"Do you think the client will like this design?" Johnny asked.
"Yeah, of course! It's a great concept. Don't worry, I'm sure your client will love it!" Kun smiled.
Johnny smiled back in relief.
"Thanks, I know I can always count on your opinion."
"Oh, shush you!"
"Hi, guys. Excited for your final evaluation?"
Kun nodded his head excitedly, his fringe bobbing as he did so. He looked up to see Johnny next to him, smiling brightly.
Finally! After more than a year (nearly two years actually!) of therapy, Dr. Lee deemed it enough and their relationship is, quote unquote, fixed. It was challenging—the therapy. But it also brings forth so much progress for their relationship.
What Johnny and Kun started with wasn't ideal. Their mating was arranged, they didn't get enough time to get to know each other, and they were suddenly thrown into a relationship without someone ever teaching them how to navigate a marriage.
They wasted their first three years, with Kun chasing after a barely present alpha and Johnny being that said alpha, pushing away the affection and attention given to him.
Many things happened, including that time Kun nearly died and when he finally reached his breaking point. Thank goodness that those became an eye opening incident for Johnny.
When they first entered Dr. Lee's office, Johnny had to admit that he had doubts. It seemed hard, fixing whatever remains and debris that Johnny and Kun had. Everything seemed like they were barely hanging onto thinly stretched threads and Johnny didn't know which thread to grab in order to hold on.
Dr. Lee was one of the bluntest people Johnny ever met. He never beat around the bush, always giving direct instructions, and never shy around with sensitive topics.
Kun found it slightly overwhelming at first, but Johnny really appreciated Dr. Lee's bluntness. Johnny is pretty dense as a person, so he's not that good at picking up cues or interpreting vague statements. Meanwhile Kun is pretty shy in nature, so having someone so in the face with their words like Dr. Lee was a tad bit intimidating. But they've had multiple sessions with the beta doctor and they've built a good dynamic and rapport between them.
Johnny was excited for their last session. He wanted to hear from Dr. Lee himself, how far Kun and him have evolved throughout their therapy journey. They've tried countless exercises from Dr. Lee and also partake in multiple counseling sessions with the doctor. As much as Johnny enjoyed the therapy, he too wanted to be able to be in this relationship with Kun without having someone spell it out for him.
He silently took Kun's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze as he watched Dr. Lee flip through his journal. There, inside the worn out book, is Johnny and Kun's entire journey, written and documented meticulously by their therapist.
"How do you guys feel?" Dr. Lee said.
"Very happy, and somehow slightly nervous," Johnny chuckled as he gave Kun's hand another squeeze.
"Kun?"
"Mm, the same. And also curious, probably," Kun added.
"Well, you guys deserve to be happy. It's not everyday that I have a couple who was willing to go through the whole therapy program. A lot of people gave up mid way, some people didn't find help in the therapy and ended up with a divorce. I'm really glad the two of you were very enthusiastic with our therapy sessions."
Dr. Lee smiled, showing them a page in his journal where he wrote his commentaries and observations.
"I already told you guys on our first ever session, my job here is just like a facilitator. I will guide you through several exercises and counseling, but the success of the therapy depended on the amount of effort both of you were willing to give. I'm glad that the two of you were willing to give this your all."
Kun had a faint blush on his cheeks as Dr. Lee complimented them.
"So you think this therapy worked for us?" Johnny confirmed.
"It worked wonders. It's something worth celebrating for. You should keep up the good work. What you currently have now is amazing, but I will advise you to keep doing what you have been doing so far, and even improve it. A good relationship requires effort from both sides. It’s like a game of tug of war. If one of you were too dominant, or one of you refused to take part, then there will be an imbalance. You will fall down.”
Both of them nodded in understanding.
Dr. Lee chuckled as he flipped through the worn out pages of his journal.
"It's quite amusing, seeing my own writing of the observations I made in the past, and seeing how much it has changed now. I must admit, the two of you are my most outstanding patients. I've given you countless exercises before, and even though I'm pretty sure the two of you are already comfortable with each other doing those now, I'd advise you to still try doing them every once in a while. Or you can also invent your own exercises if you want to. It's going to be helpful in keeping things in a relationship exciting."
Dr. Lee smiled, closing the book, pushing it forward towards the couple.
"As I promised. Here, the two of you can have this. I hope you will take time to read the journal every once in a while. If any of you felt like giving up, though I hope that will never happen, you could read through this journal and see all the hardships you've gone through to make this relationship work."
Kun hesitantly reached his hand forward, brushing his hand across the journal cover. Inside was every single little detail of the progress he and Johnny had made painstakingly. On one hand, he's curious and he wants to see what's inside. On the other side, he promised himself he wanted to close the past chapters of his life and he wanted to treat his current relationship with Johnny as something new.
He looked up and saw Johnny smiling gently at him.
Kun smiled back. Maybe he'll give the journal a read one day.
"What do you want to do for your birthday?"
"My birthday?"
"Mm hmm."
Kun furrowed his brows as he played with Johnny's hair. The two of them are lounging around the living room, with Johnny laying his head on Kun's lap, both of them barely paying attention to the TV which was playing random news.
"I don't know… I'm not sure. I'm down for anything."
"What did you usually do with Doyoung, Ten, Lucas, and Jaehyun?"
Kun shrugged, "We just go out for lunch or dinner, and that's probably it. My birthday is on the New Year, so the night before the others are usually partying and they're usually too tired in the morning—that's why I don't really do anything with them."
"You don't party with them?"
Kun shook his head as he carded his fingers through Johnny's thick hair, "Not really. I'm not a big fan of large gatherings, so I just stayed in this apartment. Making music if I felt inspired. Binge-watching drama. Baking cookies. I don't know, I just do random things so I won't feel too lonely."
"How about in the past. Before… before you married me, I mean."
Kun thought for a second and shrugged, "I just stayed for dinner with Lucas' parents. They wished me a happy birthday, we went to sleep, and ayi will cook me noodles in the morning. And that's probably it, I guess. I'm not used to celebrating my day extravagantly ever since I was a kid anyways. It's just a birthday and the changing of a new year. Nothing special."
Johnny felt his heart clenching. Birthdays are special! Especially if the date falls on a very important holiday like the New Year. Johnny used to spend the New Year with Sicheng and Yuta, or with his other colleagues, partying and bar hopping. He used to think that when he left the apartment on New Year's eve, Kun was also preparing to go out to celebrate with his own friends. And when Johnny came home late the next day to see Kun inside the apartment with a worn out face, he thought the younger guy was also tired after rounds of getting smashed just like he did. He was wrong.
Johnny looked up and he felt his stomach swirling when Kun smiled at him softly, no spite, no hate, no disappointment evident in his face. Johnny couldn’t help but to trace the younger’s gentle features with his eyes, truly amazed that someone like Kun could exist in this world.
"I'm sorry," Johnny whispered, taking Kun's free hand, holding it tightly.
Kun merely smiled as he used his finger to smooth out the crease between Johnny's brows, "What are you sorry for? I chose to spend the New Year's eve alone by myself. It was no one's fault. And plus, since my birthday is on the New Year, it always felt as if the whole world was celebrating with me! Everything’s fine!"
"Still. I feel bad that I used to ignore you like that. I’m really sorry. You have me now, so we should celebrate together."
Kun chuckled, "We don't really have too. You can still go celebrate with your colleagues! It's not my cup of tea anyways, I’m not interested in joining."
Johnny frowned again, "But I want to celebrate with you starting from now! I'll think of something. I don't want you to be lonely anymore."
Kun giggled, bending down to give the tall guy's forehead a peck, "I'm not lonely. I have you on most days."
"Still, I want to do something for you on your special day."
"Whatever makes you happy then, Johnny."
"You. If you're happy, I'm going to be happy too. I'm going to plan something," Johnny said resolutely.
"Well, if you insist…"
Kun smiled as he logged off from the university's website. Finally! The semester's done! He closed the laptop lid and stretched his back. Leaning his back against his chair he looked around his room with a wistful smile.
This room used to be his old bedroom before he finally moved to sleep at Johnny's. He did have dark nights when he cried himself to sleep from frustration and despair of his rocky relationship with the alpha, but at the same time, this room held so many memories. It's the room where he composed some of his most successful songs, it's the room where he studied for three years until he finally graduated his Master's with honor, it's the room where he slept and hid from the outside world, and it's also the place where he spent his first ever heat with Johnny. It was his safe haven from the harsh reality outside, cocooning him in this little bubble of comfort.
The room has now been repurposed as a studio slash office. The room has also gotten more barren now that most of Kun's belongings have gotten a new space in Johnny's room. Kun's old tiny keyboard and home studio get up is still safely tucked under the window sill, and Kun took his time to look out of the window from his chair, smiling slightly. This room was smaller than Johnny's, and with all his recording equipment and musical instruments (and his growing collection of potted plants by the window sill), this room appeared tiny. For most people, the four-walled space might even come off as suffocating.
But that's okay. That was partially the reason why Kun found comfort in this packed and crammed room. He used to be lonely all the time. Johnny would come and go to the apartment without sparing him any attention, or he would invite people over without inviting Kun to join them. Whenever those things happened, Kun found solace in his small room. Having so many things around him made him feel a little less lonely. He can talk to his plants. Or make music. Or look out the window and go bird watching like a house cat. With his multiple selections of aromatherapy scent diffusers, he could even set the mood inside the room.
Overall, this room was a bittersweet part of his life for the past four years. He never told Johnny about it, but Kun sometimes liked to go to this room and reminisce about the past. He did it just for his own reassurance that his life had changed, that his relationship with Johnny had seen a better light. He liked to see his now slightly empty room and consoled himself that everything has really changed for the better. Time has ticked by, and tons of progress has been made. Everything is slowly falling into place. And Kun had never felt any better.
With a smile and a sigh, Kun stood up and slowly left the room.
"I know what I want to do with you for New Year. And to celebrate your birthday too," Johnny grinned excitedly as he received the clean plates from Kun, putting them on the drying rack.
"Huh?"
Johnny smiled and nodded, "I have a plan."
"Please don't do anything weird," Kun sighed. He has fallen into some of Johnny's playful pranks before. He's grateful that Johnny and him have a harmonious relationship now, but he's still annoyed when Johnny does tricks on him.
"Hey! Have faith in me! I worked hard for this, you know. I've planned this for so long, and I worked really hard so I can surprise you just in time. You should look forward to it," Johnny grinned as he wiped his hands dry.
"I really don't like surprises," Kun pouted when he saw Johnny rocking on the balls of his feet, beaming like a child on Christmas day.
"Well, too bad, baby. You're in for the biggest surprise of your life. Probably."
Johnny was, for the lack of a better word, exquisitely proficient, in keeping secrets. Despite Kun trying his best to dig up for clues, that annoying alpha kept his mouth tightly shut, not allowing even a sliver of his secret out.
Guess Kun had no other choice but to be surprised.
December 31st came pretty fast, and truthfully Kun is jittery to see what Johnny has in store for him. The alpha is usually spontaneous, and always has a knack for making jokes and pranks. Should he expect a gathering with his friends? A trip to a bar? A simple dinner at home? What should he expect?
What he didn't expect was for Johnny to leave the house early in the morning for some last minute meeting requested by his client.
"I'm so sorry, baby. I'll get back before six, and we'll celebrate together. I promise!"
Johnny looked so apologetic that Kun could not find it in him to be mad. It's not like Johnny wanted this too! This is something out of the alpha’s power, and they could not do anything about this particular client that seems to be very important.
"It's okay. I'll just use my time to cook up something delicious for dinner and—"
"No, no, no need to. I'll bring in some take outs! I don’t want you to get all too tired out. Just rest, okay?"
Kun furrowed his brows.
"It's a special day! Let me make it up to you instead of ruining it further," Johnny said.
"Well, if that's what you want. You should go, don't keep your client waiting. Have a nice day," Kun smiled, allowing Johnny to pull him into a hug, scenting him to make the alpha relax a bit.
He smiled when he felt Johnny's body sagging a bit in relaxation.
"You too. Love you," Johnny pulled back, pressing a kiss to his lover's lips quickly.
"Mm hmm. Love you too."
Once Johnny left, Kun stood in the living room blankly. There was really nothing to do, and nothing seemed to catch his attention on the TV. Kun had decided to clean up a bit and do the laundry, and he’s still bored. Kun ended up getting holed up in his old bedroom, revising the teaching plan and syllabus for the next semester, and he even got around to polish some of his compositions before sending it to his agency. He watered his plants, cooked something nice for lunch, returned back to his old bedroom, and read some novels. It's really boring with no Johnny bothering him. He ended up falling asleep in his own bed after a few pages.
When Johnny got back later at 4 in the afternoon, the apartment was very silent. He panicked slightly, but when he saw the door to Kun's old bedroom slightly ajar, he relaxed immediately. He peeked inside and smiled when he saw Kun, deeply asleep, curled on his old bed. There's an opened book by his side, and the speaker from his computer is softly playing a classic song in a small volume.
Johnny took the book and Kun's phone from the bed, setting them on the bedside table. He then took off his jacket, setting it on Kun's chair before slipping under the cover as silent as possible. The soft classical music and Kun's calming scent lulled him into a sleep immediately. A little nap wouldn’t hurt.
Kun woke up slightly startled when the first sight he saw upon opening his eyes was Johnny's face. The alpha was asleep, face smushed against the pillow. When did the man even come?
Kun smiled, reaching out his hand to softly pet Johnny's hair. It's getting longer now and it seems like the guy still has no interest in giving it a trim. Kun worked in the university so he always kept his appearance neat and prim to give a professional look, especially since he's the youngest lecturer, so he wanted to give off a good impression to his seniors and his students. Unlike him, Johnny's job as an architect is pretty lenient. He's now a team leader, so he's gotten even more freedom. No one ever protested him for his looks. But well, Kun doesn't mind the long hair on Johnny. He looked good. Especially when he tied it up, God, Kun’s a lucky guy to be able to have Johnny all for himself.
Johnny enjoyed the mindless petting on his hair. When he cracked open his eyes, he was rewarded with the sight of Kun smiling softly at him.
"What time is it?" Johnny croaked.
"Slightly passed five. What time did you get here, huh?"
"I got here around four. Ah, that was a nice nap," Johnny sighed, scooting closer to bury his face on Kun's neck, sighing in relaxation when he inhaled Kun's fragrant freesia scent.
"You want to sleep more?" Kun asked, carding his fingers through Johnny's hair.
"As much as I want to, I can't. I've planned a surprise for you, remember?" Johnny mumbled against Kun's neck, pressing a kiss near their mating mark before pulling himself up.
"Huh?"
"Come on, let's get out of bed. I'm taking you somewhere for the night."
Kun got up begrudgingly, and Johnny merely grinned, pulling him to their shared bedroom.
"Let's pack up some clothes to change," Johnny said, taking out his pajamas from the wardrobe as well as some other clothes.
"Where are we staying?" Kun raised an eyebrow confusedly.
"Somewhere. You'll find out. Come on."
Kun grumbled in annoyance, and followed Johnny, packing similar types of clothing because he had no idea where they're going to travel. He watched in equal confusion, curiosity, and annoyance as Johnny stuffed some blankets and pillows into a suitcase. Why was he doing that?
"Now. Come on!"
Kun furrowed his brows when Johnny held his hand and led him into an apartment complex. It's not too far from their own apartment, and it's pretty close to the university and Johnny's firm. But why?
Are they staying in someone's apartment? Kun thought Johnny was going to bring him for a staycation in a hotel or something. He didn't expect a random stranger's apartment.
"What are we doing here?" He asked.
Johnny grinned, "You'll see."
Kun grumbled as he followed Johnny into the elevator.
"Come on. You're going to like it, I swear," Johnny coaxed, pecking at the sulking omega's pouty lips.
Kun sighed, deciding to give Johnny his trust since he's got no other choice.
They stopped at the eighth floor and Kun watched as Johnny punched in the security code to one of the doors. When Kun entered the place, he was slightly confused. The apartment is still pretty barren from furniture, but Kun faintly recognized the layout and design.
"Is this… your client's apartment that you asked for my opinion?"
"Bingo! This is how it looked in real time. I made several minor changes, but most of it still looked like my original design. What do you think?"
Kun was a bit confused on why he's being taken here but he nodded anyway as he slowly took in the sight in front of him
Kun watched as Johnny dropped their bags haphazardly on the laminated wood floor and allowed the tall alpha to pull him to the kitchen. It has no fridge or appliances yet but Kun could imagine where to put them.
"The kitchen window is pretty," Kun smiled as he stood in front of the window. The kitchen window in their own apartment is smaller. It would be nice to have a big kitchen window like this so Kun could expand his indoor herb garden.
"Check out the island," Johnny grinned.
Kun smiled, touching the cool marble surface. It would be perfect for making dough. If the client likes cooking, they would love this. Kun knocked the surface. It looked pretty sturdy. If he had this kind of kitchen island at home, he’ll probably spend all of his time in the kitchen making bao, mian, maybe youtiao, cong you bing… oh, pasta! Or pies! Kun made a mental note to start saving so he can have enough money to renovate their own kitchen.
"You did such a good job. The client will love this kitchen so much."
"You think so? Now, now. Check this out."
Kun let Johnny pull him back to the living room, and he gaped when he noticed the huge glass window. He could easily look out at Seoul's cityscape from the spot he's standing.
"Johnny! The sight's amazing!"
"You think so? Imagine during the day. Abundant sunlight can come inside."
"Mm hmm. Great for indoor plants."
Kun shuffled closer excitedly to observe the tall glass panels. He could already imagine pots of plants and multiple racks being neatly arranged in front of it. It would look super pretty.
Johnny tugged his hand with a grin, pulling him somewhere.
"This is the master's bedroom."
It doesn’t have a bed frame or proper furniture, but the creme walls gave the room a cozy ambience. Kun looked around and gasped at the balcony. It has a ledge for plants and the view was even more magnificent.
“Check out the balcony?” Johnny grinned when he saw Kun’s starstruck expression.
"Wow! Seriously, this apartment is amazing. If your client didn't love your design, that person must've been an idiot. Johnny, this is amazing!" Kun gawked as he held onto the railing, looking down at the busy traffic in amazement.
"You like it?"
"Of course!"
"Well, my client is not an idiot then."
"Huh?"
Johnny chuckled.
"It's funny how you haven't caught it until now."
"Caught what?"
Kun's confused look was so adorable that Johnny could not help but to wrap him in a big hug, pressing playful kisses into the side of his head.
“Whaaat?” Kun pulled away and pouted petulantly when Johnny laughed at him.
"Kun, love. This apartment is ours."
"H-huh?"
"I bought this place and renovated it myself. That's why I need your opinion on my design. I know you've always wanted a balcony so I looked around for a unit that has one. You can keep your cute little potted plants from your old bedroom here. Outside, in the living room, I put in the big window panels so you could put more plants there. I know you love them. The kitchen also has a window so you could grow your herbs. And yeah, the kitchen island you've always wanted is also there. Now you don't have to bend too much on the counter when you make your own noodles, dumplings, and buns."
Kun gasped, looking at Johnny in disbelief as everything clicked.
"I made sure to make enough room for two desks in the office space. I won't be slouching at the coffee table anymore! And I soundproofed the office too so you can freely make music there!" Johnny continued, before he started to drone on and on about other things this apartment— their apartment—has.
All of those were small things he never complained about to Johnny. Kun was okay with their old apartment. It was small, a bit crampy, but it was theirs nonetheless. He never knew that Johnny silently observed him. His plant obsession. His love for making dough. His growing love for herbs.
"Y-you made all of this for m-me?"
"Of course, who else? It's a birthday gift, I guess. And uh, we just finished our couple therapy, so I decided to quicken the renovation process so we can move out soon. Turn a new page, I guess. And our fourth anniversary is coming up soon too. So… yeah,” Johnny said shyly, scratching the back of his neck.
"Oh, Johnny…"
Johnny chuckled as Kun ran to hug him tightly.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you," he whispered.
"No need to. You deserve it."
Kun lifted his head from Johnny's chest, and Johnny silently wiped the tears on the younger's cheeks.
"Come on, don't cry!"
"They're happy tears, doofus."
Johnny laughed.
"This place is closer to the university. Now you don't have to wake up too early. It's also not that far from my firm. Oh, and there's a Chinese grocery store a few blocks away, I think you're going to love it."
"How did you even… God. I can't wrap my head around it."
Johnny chuckled, "I did my research. I wasn't meeting my client earlier today. I went here to clean up a bit and accepted the mattress delivery. We don't have a bed frame yet, but I think it doesn't matter. At least the water and heater are working!"
"Stupid. But I love you," Kun grumbled before snuggling close to his husband again.
"But really. I think we've grown so much throughout the past months, and we deserve a new room to grow even more. This could be a new place where we don't get constantly plagued by our past. I think having a new place would allow our new relationship the space to spring out."
Kun nodded in agreement.
"Come on. It's cold. It's still snowing, you know. We'll freeze out here. Let's get back inside and order shabu shabu for dinner. What do you think?"
"We don't even have a dining table yet," Kun giggled, wiping his eyes as Johnny laced their fingers together, leading him back inside.
"Mm hmm. I decided not to buy everything on my own. We didn't get to go furniture shopping together in the past. Don't you think an IKEA date sounds nice to start our new year?"
Kun giggled, nodding his head, "Mm hmm. But… Don't you think it's funny? It took us four years to actually go buy our own furniture together. But oh, well. It doesn't matter. At least I got to do it with you."
Johnny smiled proudly.
"Hope your birthday this year is better. We can watch the countdown and the usual firework show from the big window. I mean, we don't have a couch, but I bring blankets and pillows!"
Kun laughed, "We also don't have a dining table, a bed frame, or proper lighting fixtures. I don't care. It's the best birthday."
"Speaking of birthdays… Wait… I forgot to buy the cake! Goodness, I'm stupid," Johnny suddenly remembered slapping his own forehead in realization.
“Wait, let’s get a cake delivery. We should celebrate your birthday properly!”
"It's just a cake, Johnny. Today's already the best birthday gift you can give me. We can care about the cake some other day. Come on, just give me a proper tour of the place!"
And when Johnny later takes him on a tour around the place and invites him to ‘christen’ their new apartment as they wait for the countdown, Kun decides he doesn't really need a cake. The day's already perfect.
(((On a side note, Kun had to do something with the kitchen counter because he's not sure he can cook there in peace in the future if he constantly remembered what Johnny did to him there. And yes. The marble kitchen island was sturdy. And so did the big window panels on the living room. And the bathroom counter too. Don’t blame Kun, blame it on Johnny’s seduction technique—especially when Johnny let his long-ish hair down. Ah, damn that hair. Kun is weak, and he’s the birthday boy, let him enjoy his day!)))