Archive of Our Own

 "Boy. If you really think of yourself as an exorcist, don't go back. Go teach those monsters inside you right from wrong."

At times, he remembered those words, and the silent oath they had shared that night, before they parted. It had come after a rather painful exchange that had felt strangely liberating at the same time. A promise that could only ever exist between the two of them. "Let's meet again once you figure yourself out," was the quiet invitation behind Tyki's seemingly harsh scolding. "Promise me you won't ever abandon yourself again." 

Behind Allen's sharp gaze, Tyki glimpsed chaos; a storm. He saw a young man whose world had crumbled to pieces, a boy who had lost his way, struggling to cling to mere ideas, to beliefs that could easily be proven wrong, or to the people he didn't want to lose - to his "comrades", most of whom had already betrayed him, by simply not choosing him when they should have.

Of course he didn't want to see Allen like that. It frustrated him beyond help. More than anything else, he wanted to give Allen the time to reflect, to rediscover himself, away from the Order or the Noah family; to fight for an ideal that was truly his own. Because an Allen who continued to push his needs aside for some sort of a "higher good" that would eventually destroy him, an Allen who walked on paths decided by others would no longer be the Allen he knew and adored.

It was strange, Tyki thought to himself, that whenever the pain came back to haunt him and his wounds turned into merciless blades of fire that cut through his spirit like they would through an old forest, he couldn't even begin to shake that memory off his mind - or the memory of Allen whatsoever. It was as if it arose from the depths of his mind specifically as a reminder of their shared fate.

It hurt. His head was spinning, and every heartbeat felt like his chest would burst within the next tick of the clock.

The boy's name, which he normally avoided using, rolled off his tongue so easily. Naturally. Sometimes it relieved his pain; other times, the ring of it was enough to have Tyki down on his knees, crushed beneath the burdens of his suffering. Allen was his salvation and destruction alike, and most of the time Tyki had no idea what to hope for.

And so, he withered in a forced silence. He choked on his soundless screams, determined to withstand trial after trial, regardless of how long it would take. He felt it deep within himself - sensed Joyd's aura getting stronger with every single one of these fervent clashes with the Noah. So he couldn't afford to back down even for a second. Not when his humanity and everything he had built in a lifetime was at stake. Even if it burned him alive, even if every small movement shot daggers through his veins, he wasn't planning to let Joyd take over. It was okay, he'd be okay in the end- 

Out of the corner of his clouded eyes, Tyki caught sight of Joyd's ominous silhouette, always grinning at him, mocking him for his efforts to hold onto his sanity. 

"Are you having fun?" he asked, shuddering at the sound of his own voice. That sound was nothing like the usual smooth, velvety timbre. His voice was gruff, heavy with exhaustion from a fight that had been going on for hours on end.

Truth be told, he was rather surprised at himself, at the decision he had taken. Up until that very moment, Tyki hadn't thought of seeking conversation with his Noah. He'd found it pointless. After all, he hadn't even been fully conscious of their name until recently. Even now, as he asked that simple question, more out of spite than anything, Tyki was almost sure that no answer would come out of Joyd, aside from a scornful laughter. "Back off," he demanded, fists clenched in his long, loose curls. "While this... is definitely your fight," he went on, unable to hold back his panting, "it's my body... we're talking about. So we're playing... after my rules." As much of a mess as he was, when he turned to face Joyd, Tyki let a confident smirk cross his lips. Drops of ice cold sweat ran down his scarred body, restless. 

At that, Joyd's grin only grew. That grin could have had different meanings, and Tyki was left to decide for himself. It could have been that Joyd kept mocking him - or maybe it was some kind of twisted admiration they had for their host. Perhaps behind that same grin lurked a declaration of war - "I'm not giving up, and one day you will finally surrender, even if now you are stubbornly trying to push me back". Whatever it was, Tyki was too worn out to decipher the message. All he had was assumptions.

It wasn't long before Tyki felt the pain finally dissipating, as Joyd's reflection vanished from the cracked glass. But his whole body seemed to refuse to cooperate with him, forcing him to remain motionless, quiet gasps slipping past his barely parted lips. And yet, a single question lingered in the back of his mind - did he really manage to tame Joyd again?

Deep golden eyes now devoid of their glow slowly studied the room. The stillness of the night surrounded him and he noticed the crescent moon hanging from a starless sky.

"I see. It took a little longer than the last time," Tyki concluded, unsure of his own next move. It certainly worried him.  Over the last month, the pain from his scars had grown close to unbearable, and Joyd had always taken advantage of it. If things were to go on like this...-

"No," he whispered, dismissing the thought almost immediately. That wouldn't be fair. He had told Allen to fight his inner monsters and come back with resolve. What example would he set for the boy if he were to lose control here?

His legs were still numb as he slowly crossed the space between the window and his bed, steps coming to a halt in front of the large mirror. Golden eyes remained fixed on his upper body, on the pattern Allen had carved onto him, with the sole purpose of setting him free. Little did he know of the harsh irony that would behold them. Then again, maybe this result was not as bad, Tyki pondered, a solemn, regretful look blooming on his face at the memory of having hurt Allen himself. Maybe this pain was a way for him to atone for his sins.

Tracing the line of his scar in an unconscious gesture, he lifted his gaze to stare at his face. If he had to admit, he'd say that he had never looked worse in his entire life. He couldn't help the dry laugh that crawled up his throat at the realization that even the look he had in his eyes somehow reminded him of Allen.

"Tell me, boy," he pleaded, even as he knew that Allen couldn't actually hear him, "how are you feeling right now? Why is it that I want to see you so badly?" If only he could run all by himself to find Allen, maybe he would get some answers to his questions. Well, deep down, he figured that he could. But he was too shaken now to even attempt a visit, and if he were to ask Wisely for help in finding the boy, he wouldn't see the end of it.

To visit Allen without making himself noticed, to stay close to him without being seen, heard or felt, much like a ghost, but not entirely so - that's what he needed, even if it wasn't like him at all. But he was so tired, that using his powers would have been too risky, for both his well-being and Allen's.

He took a deep breath in, then let it out slowly, in an attempt to calm his racing mind. His fingers trailed across the mirror table, where Allen's button that he had stolen on that fateful night lay untouched. Picking it up in the palm of his hand, he gazed at it longingly for what could have been the millionth time. He ignored the way his scars kept aching as he played with the silver button on his way to bed - although he knew that the ache wouldn't let him sleep too soon.

Not so far away from where he was, Allen tossed and turned, wide awake in the middle of the night for reasons he couldn't pinpoint.

*

"Ah- you're awake."

Huh...? When did he fall asleep? Honestly, Tyki couldn't believe he had managed to close an eye. The last thing he remembered, even if vaguely, was being in pain. The gentle light of a new day slipped into the room, slowly pushing his drowsiness away and he all but jolted up at the realization that Wisely was right beside him, watching.

"I knew you'd made a hobby out of sneaking into people's minds without them knowing, but now you sneak into their rooms too?" Tyki asked, not actually bothered by the younger man's presence, but amused more than anything.

In return, Wisely smiled, a concerned look in his eyes as he admitted "I thought I'd heard you groan in your sleep last night. You seemed in pain when I checked up on you, and you had a quite restless sleep." Then, as he leaned forward, closing the distance between them, he added "Your powers have grown again, right?"

"...I guess so," Tyki replied after a short pause, "but I don't feel much of a difference."

As soon as he tried to sit up, however, he flinched at the sudden, piercing pain he felt in the back of his head - not a very pleasant thing to experience early in the morning.

"Okay, there is a difference. Also, ow."

Wisely could laugh, but he knew better than anyone how nasty a headache could be. He silently urged Tyki to remain in bed for maybe another hour, or until the headache subsided. Tyki let out a disgruntled groan, as he had no other chance but to comply. Usually he knew he would be the one to take care of Wisely, so it surprised him how the tables had turned. He couldn't help but wonder how long it would take until he would be fully recovered this time. At this point, waiting had become annoying.

"Say, Wisely-"

"Hmm?"

"This pain I'm feeling," he trailed off, searching for the proper words, "it feels like Joyd is trying to reject me from within. Or like there is a whole new process of awakening going on. But it doesn't make sense." His voice held a note of uncertainty as he went on, "After all, the awakening already took place long ago. Am I wrong?"

Wisely let out a sigh in return. "You've certainly awakened. But you've been trying to suppress your powers until recently," he clarified, at which Tyki winced. "Also, those scars - don't forget what made them. Innocence will always threaten a Noah. It will make the memories overflow, harming the host in the process."

The scars he'd gotten from Allen. Tyki was sure that they played a clear role in his inner turmoil. But there seemed to be more to it. "Yes, but the overflow, too, happened in the past. There's no reason for Joyd to go rampant now, and yet..."

And yet, the pain was still there, as strong as ever.

Wisely paused, seemingly deep in thought. The memory of the first time he had talked to Road after his return tugged at his mind. Back then he had noticed the uncanny resemblance between Tyki and Nea, but could never bring himself to understand the motive behind Joyd's choice, for he knew better than anyone what kind of relationship those two had had.

And then, it hit him. Back when he met Allen and managed to accidentally sneak into his mind - with the boy's help even - he had caught sight of something. A curious nightmare that was still hanging among the boy's distant memories. Once it ended, Allen's consciousness almost faded for a brief moment, as something else took its place. Surely it was Nea. It had to have been him.

His Noah stirred at the thought and at the sound of that name echoing in his mind. As if it were a curse.

Wisely searched further through his memories, no matter how long the silence between him and Tyki dragged on. He sensed Tyki's curious gaze on him, but never broke his focus. His mind guided him towards another moment, one that he had failed to understand back then. Only Road could have known about it, as she had been the one to sit with Tyki through it all. And yet he'd seen it, when Tyki had let his guard down that night. If those two moments are related, Wisely pondered, then-

"Joyd is not rejecting you," he finally allowed, making Tyki jump in surprise. And for some reason, he believed in those words, even if they were based on a mere assumption. "You've been a host for a long time now. You know of the Noah's mission and you accept it. That's why you're here, with everyone. So Joyd can't be rejecting you."

Tyki considered Wisely's words to be reassuring, in some way. But as he thought back to the fight on the Ark, he couldn't deny that he felt happy, at ease even, when Allen stabbed him; he must have thought, deep down that he wanted to get rid of Joyd, of the mission he had, and return to his normal life. That's why he wouldn't find it weird if Joyd actually wanted to punish him.

"You and that boy- maybe you're calling out to each other. Maybe."

"Huh?" Wisely's conclusion came like a sharp knife to cut Tyki's string of thoughts short, pulling him back from whatever sort of trance he was in. "Calling out?"

Wisely soon realized that more than half of his reasoning had remained an internal monologue. Of course Tyki would be confused. "You fought and he wounded you. Specifically, he wounded the one within you, without knowing that he would eventually hurt his own Noah too. In terms of his reaction to the Innocence, the Fourteenth is no different than us." He exhaled sharply, bringing a hand to his forehead as he struggled to explain. "To put it simply, right now, both of you are hurting deep within. And the boy accidentally hastened the Fourteenth's awakening process."

Tyki's eyes widened as another memory rushed back to him. "There's also... Kanda Yuu's attempt to slice him back then."

"Yes. That, too," he said, as he fixed Tyki with his gaze. "I tend to believe that when one of you is in pain, it must be in reaction to the other. As the Fourteenth awakens further, Joyd's reaction to him will grow in intensity. Not only that, but your powers will grow, too. Let's say you are provoking one another, unconsciously pushing yourselves over your limits."

As the silence took over once again, Tyki let the words sink in. It was actually plausible. At least it would explain why the thought of Allen was the first to come to his mind. It would add a clearer reason to his need to see the boy, even as he knew they had agreed to part ways for the time being. Even now, as Wisely brought him up, Tyki couldn't deny that he felt a certain pang in his chest. But wait a minute-

"I have one question," Tyki murmured, straightening up. Wisely only looked at him with expectant eyes, as a smile feigning innocence pulled at the corners of his lips. The younger man knew he had been found out. But Tyki wanted a response and he gave it to him. Regardless of the means he used. "Did you perhaps read my mind again? And the boy's?"

"But of course~"

A deep frown plastered on his face, Tyki reached out for the pillow that now lay untouched behind him. Only seconds later, a whine of protest echoed in the room and the pillow fell onto the floor with a gentle 'plop'. Surely Wisely saw it coming, but decided to take the blow for the sake of it. It was funny to see Tyki get all flustered; plus, he needed a distraction from the serious talks.

"I told you countless times not to read our minds! I need my privacy, you know?"

"You know that's not how my powers work," Wisely retorted, holding one hand over his nose, that had suffered the most damage after the impact.

"Maybe, but it's still creepy!"

"Even if it helps you?"

"Even so!"

In the short time they'd spent together, Tyki failed to notice it, but his headache, which had threatened to persist throughout the day, had already found some relief. Maybe it had been the last side effect of the events from the night before. Maybe it was only due to the sudden movement. He would never know.

 Leaning forward to reach for his pillow, he caught sight of something rolling off the bed out of the corner of his eye. The small object didn't get too far away, so he caught it without much of an effort. His eyes lit up in an instant as he realized what it really was.

"This is the boy's-"

"You've been holding onto it for the most part of the night," Wisely mentioned, and Tyki had been too obvious for him not to notice the true intentions hidden behind his stare. "If we wait until Sheril goes back to work, we can pretend to go on a mission ourselves, and check on him. On Allen, I mean."

It would be a lie if he were to say that Wisely's suggestion hadn't been a good one.  However, Tyki felt a strong need to do this alone. Even if he had to wait until everyone was gone.

"No. You stay with the Earl. He needs you the most since Road is in that state. You know that. I'll go on my own... after Sheril leaves, of course."

Wisely frowned in response, a "Come on, I want to see the boy, too, why are you so possessive?" dragged all over his face. But he held that back for now; the teasing would come later.

"Are you sure? You could go with the twins. They like Allen, too." At that, Tyki couldn't help but flinch, as a chill ran down his spine. The twins would blow up his cover within seconds. They're too eccentric for this.

"That's a double no. He'd run away or put up a fight if he saw me with anyone. Remember what I said last time? The boy doesn't want to rely on our help and I don't want him to feel pressured to do so. By anyone or anything. I was thinking that if I am alone, I'll have a better chance to get close to him."

There was enough pressure on Allen with the Order and Apocryphos constantly after him. The Akuma will be onto him soon as well, if the Fourteenth begins to move again. He wanted Allen to get as much freedom as possible, to have time to think for himself.

"I see. Then it's decided, but... take care," Wisely advised, and Tyki quickly understood what he referred to. "Do you want me to track him down for the time being? Since he's almost always on the move."

With a nod, Tyki agreed. "That would be a great help. I'll wait a while longer, so I'm sure that everything's alright, and then I'll get going."

As Wisely prepared to leave the room, he heard a soft "thank you" from behind him. A knowing smile spread across his face and he threw Tyki one last glance over his shoulder.

"I'll get back as soon as I can~"

*

He sat motionless in front of the inn, feeling the wind rustle through his long, loosely tied hair. Behind these doors, he knew he'd meet Allen, so he allowed himself to cast aside any remains of the gloom, of the uncertainty that had been weighing on his heart. After all, Tyki was well aware - he didn't need any of those hard feelings when facing Allen; he loved Allen. And although he chose to stick to the plan of only going in briefly to check on the boy, hence remaining unseen, he wanted to keep the cool, calm, slightly chaotic, a bit flirty demeanor that Allen was used to. Certainly, betraying the uneasiness that lurked persistently within him wasn't part of his plan.

"Listen," he called out, as he dropped his cigarette onto the pavement, crushing it under his heel, "I'm not here to fight. So you stay out of it."

Luckily for him, appart from a slight nudge, Joyd didn't seem to get too worked up about his choice. 'Do as you wish,' the Noah seemed to whisper. 'I'm not interested.'

Tyki let out the breath he didn't know he was holding back, as his eyes fell closed. Focused, he allowed the light to pass through his limbs, until his entire body disappeared from sight. It was as if he had never been there, so he found himself acknowledging that his powers had definitely grown. Taking a few confident steps towards the door laying locked ahead of him, he phased through it with ease.

As expected, no one suspected anything, even as he soundlessly climbed the stairs to the first floor. He could see the whole world and touch everything around him, yet nobody would say a thing to him. His strategy seemed perfect.

From what Wisely told him, Allen usually changed locations once every two days at most. Also, the boy would linger only in those places that proved to be harder to find for the Order, and usually did street performance to earn his existence. By the time he left, Allen had barely returned to the inn, after another round of skillfully avoiding the eyes of finders and exorcists alike.

Heading towards his room, Tyki found himself wondering how Allen was doing right now, what had changed in the weeks they hadn't seen each other, how much he grew. He realized just how much he actually missed the sound of Allen's voice, or the simple act of ruffling his hair. Of course, Tyki had to remind himself that he wouldn't be able to lay a single finger on Allen for the time being. He was there as a mere observer and listener, intentionally depriving himself of the chance to intervene in any way.

Passing through the door like it was the last barrier between them, Tyki's eyes instinctively landed on Allen, taking in his lithe form as he gazed out the window in silence. The proud smile that spread across his face at the sight of the young boy was something only he could know or feel, same for the beating of his heart or the gentle glow in his eyes. 'Here you are... '

Just then, he noticed Timcanpy flying away from the bed and onto Allen's shoulder, so he abandoned the idea of getting even one step closer to the boy. Allen immediately turned around to face the golem, a familiar loving smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

"Hey hey- Weren't you about to take a nap?" he asked, chuckling in surprise at Tim's affectionate nuzzle. Tim clung onto him with a happy "graa", soon nestling right on top of his head. Allen wondered just then, if maybe Tim had  noticed... that he was feeling so lonely, that he could barely hide it. His loneliness couldn't be cured by the people who came to see him in the streets, nor by the gentle owners of all the inns he had visited until now. At the end of the day, they were all strangers, and only a temporary relief to his aching heart.

"Really, thank you for sticking with me, Timcanpy. Knowing that you're here really makes getting through the days so much easier." For a moment, it seemed like he was staring at something that wasn't really there. As the memories that had turned bittersweet over the past few weeks tugged at his heart, Allen shook his head lightly, so as to remind himself that those times were over. Of course, he missed everyone. He wondered every other day what had become of Lavi, or Lenalee, or even Kanda, whom he had sent away. How was Johnny holding up? How about Komui, or Reever? Link? Link protected him. Was he alright?

Everyone's faces would slip into his mind, one by one, images so vivid that he wanted to reach out his hand to them. He wanted them to embrace him and greet him with a warm "Welcome home" like they always did before. But then he was back in the same empty room, with no one but Timcanpy at his side.

"What did you think of today's performance, Tim?" His wide, silver eyes moved up to meet the golden golem. "Do you think I should change anything?"

Timcanpy couldn't speak, but his lively reactions made the best answers to any question Allen could ask, whether it was small talk or something serious. The big grin he now wore on more than half of his face made it clear that he had enjoyed himself watching over Allen. But then, the grin was replaced with a more embarrassed look, as he started gesturing with his small hands that he had trouble seeing Allen's entire act.

"Eh? No way- You couldn't see it?"

The first few times, Allen remembered performing with Tim safely hidden beneath his costume, so as to avoid getting curious looks from people. Only recently had Tim "complained" about not being able to see the show - so Allen thought of "strategically" hiding him in a place as close to the stage as possible.

"Can't help it; I guess we'll need to find a better place next time, right?"

Tim nodded happily in response to Allen's suggestion, swirling his tail in excitement. But he stopped short once he noticed the glimmer of happiness had once again disappeared from Allen's eyes. Just then, Allen grabbed him, bringing him close to his chest.

"Say, Tim, I know I ask this question a lot recently, but... am I doing the right thing?" At that, neither Tim nor Tyki could hide their concern. "It feels like I'm just running, with no destination in mind. All I do is try to escape something I can't really escape." Just then, the image of Apocryphos flashed through Allen's mind, as threatening as ever. A cold shiver ran down his spine. Today it looked like he had managed to keep away from the innocence, but he knew the chase was far from over.

Tim, too, seemed to be holding back his anger concerning Apocryphos. After all, Allen was his owner, right after Cross. He couldn't bear losing Allen as well. He nuzzled against Allen's chest, attempting to soothe his resurfaced worry. 'You're doing well, you're doing the best you can and we'll keep doing our best together,' he seemed to tell Allen.

"Sometimes I wonder if it's okay to hope. And if it is, what should I hope for? This is not about us fighting against the Earl anymore." He wanted to stop talking, but the words kept tumbling over his lips, feeding his anxiety. "Right now, it's us against the world, unless we struggle to find some middle ground."

Tim nodded, as if he knew, or rather as if he had heard those same words before. Allen failed to catch the hint of desolation that he showed for merely a moment.

"But we'll have to... continue, right, Tim? We'll have to find the right path to walk on. That's why we escaped that night. We won't involve anyone in this. This is our quest." His voice, normally crystal clear, now sounded strained with tears he desperately tried to blink back. His frame was shaking slightly as he spoke, "Plus, a certain someone won't play poker with me again unless I come back stronger."

'Oh...' Well, that was certainly an unexpected event. Catching the boy mention him so suddenly sent a surge of adrenalin through his core, and he struggled to hold onto a now wavering calm, while his legs simultaneously pushed him towards Allen and towards the door - so he could release the intense emotions one way or another.

"Tyki, he...- He's become so clingy, and I feel like he's been annoyingly chasing me with that childish grin spread all over his face recently."

Ouch. Well, that wasn't far from the truth, Tyki had to admit to himself. Not with his current position. But judging by the tone of Allen's voice, the boy wasn't exactly bothered. In fact, he had sounded a bit... nostalgic.

"He's changed a lot compared to back then. Sometimes he takes his missions seriously, other times it looks like he's just playing around. Like he doesn't really want to fight, and he will jump in only if provoked."

Touching his heart, Allen seemed to remember that fateful night, when everything could have ended. No, it had certainly ended. He had certainly died once, by Tyki's hand. The sensation of the Teez piercing the very source of his life and Tyki's sickly satisfied grin as he watched him wither came back to him, making Allen feel cold to the bone for a second. But he confidently shook it off as he added, "I can't see that bloodlust in his eyes anymore. He is so much more genuine, so much more humane towards me."

With the new conversation going on, Tyki's fondness towards Allen threatened to get the better of him.

'It's your merit, boy. You're the only one who stood up to me so stubbornly. You see me for my humanity and look to preserve it even after I almost killed you. Such an enigma, aren't you?'

He had come to check on Allen. That was all. That had to be all, Tyki insistently reminded himself. The road he followed was nothing but a whim born from his pain.

And yet before he knew it, he had already closed the distance between them, and was now only inches away from Allen. One ghost-like hand was now resting in the boy's soft white hair, unable to ruffle it like it did many times before. Tyki only imagined how it would feel to comb his fingers through that hair again, fully aware that he couldn't blow up his cover now.

'That's why, just like you made sure I remained the same person you met on that train, I will now watch you hold onto your own humanity. You can't see me, but I'm here.' Leaning forward, Tyki placed an invisible, but oh, so intimate kiss to the crown of Allen's head, allowing himself to breathe in his scent. It was the scent of fresh snow on Christmas morning. 'I'm here with you.'

It hurt him somehow that he had to remain hidden. It hurt, because he couldn't even think of wanting to touch Allen, even as his soul screamed with the need to embrace the boy like he so deserved.

Opening his arms to pull Allen into the softest hug, Tyki let his hands rest on the boy's chest, right above his heart. He cradled Allen's heart in the invisible cage of his hands, so as to protect it from all the hurt.

"You know, Tim? It was so frustrating back there, when he reached out to me. He offered me an easy way out. His hand was so close and for a second, I wanted to take it. I considered... saving everyone by taking his hand." Allen's voice was low, down to a whisper enveloped in secrecy. But Tyki could hear him clearly, and wondered if, at this point, the boy did it on purpose.

"Still, I was so angry. He was fully aware that if it were him, I would waver. He smiled at me. Urged me. And it was all for the Earl." Clenching his fists, Allen went on, and Tyki anticipated what he was about to say. In that instant, he felt so relieved at his choice to not pressure the boy to follow them anymore. "The Earl never wanted me. He wanted the Fourteenth in my place."

Tyki could tell that Allen was trembling in his arms, even as he didn't feel it on a physical level. The feelings were so strong that Allen could combust right there, in front of him. Tyki's hand naturally slid down to take hold of Allen's own, or as close to it as possible. Granted, he wouldn't get the same effect as when he touched Allen, but maybe this much would become enough after a while.

"Even then, when he and Road came to save me, they probably did it on the Earl's command. But that was different." Tyki listened to him patiently, his fingers twined with Allen's. Taking one step closer, he placed his chin on Allen's shoulder. "Back then," he heard Allen continue, "Tyki made it about me in the end. I'm grateful... for him saving me. I was glad he wanted me for me."

God, he wanted to squeeze Allen so tightly in his arms. Or to steal him away and lead him to a place where they could talk peacefully. Maybe break the silence now, once and for all and tell him just how much he had missed their time together. This had become a game of patience that Tyki played with no one but himself, and, unfortunately for him, there was no such thing as a cheat sheet for patience.

"I wonder how he's doing now. Is he still around here, somewhere?"

At that, Tyki almost stepped away, regretfully releasing Allen much sooner than intended, as he thought he'd been found out.

Tim shot a quizzical look in Allen's direction, then, floating right up to his face, he put a tiny hand on his forehead, as if to ask what had gotten into him, to show that much concern for Tyki, all at once.

"Eh? Am I exaggerating, Tim?" Allen followed with a tilt of his head. It was then that he realized that the last half an hour or so had gone by with him reminiscing about Tyki's actions. And once the realization hit him, it was hard for him to conceal the sudden redness in his cheeks. "I... see. I keep talking about him so much."

'...False alarm, huh? Damn it, boy, don't scare me like that!'

Still, Tyki couldn't stay upset at the interruption for long. Unpleasant as it was, it taught him something. Right now, Allen was the most vulnerable - very much like him. And although the boy was generally a master at hiding the fact that he enjoyed Tyki's company, that facade was slowly falling to pieces.

"That's right, I wonder if tomorrow we'll be able to meet that little girl again! She called me an "angel", and wouldn't stop even after I told her I was just a street performer... Her eyes shone so bright when she looked at me. She was cute."

Allen tried, desperately even, to push away the thoughts about Tyki, about the past. After all, it wasn't like Tyki would come to see him, right? Still, deep in his heart, there was a persistent need to see the man, that he couldn't deflect no matter what he did.

*

Now this was quite a problem.

Not too long ago, seeing that Timcanpy had fallen asleep, Tyki allowed himself some rest, too, while waiting for Allen to eat dinner downstairs. It was brief, but certainly felt like a breath of fresh air, as even if he wasn't necessarily tired, it would be risky to profit that long of Joyd's "benevolence". When Allen returned, Tyki resumed his undercover "mission", grateful that he could still use his powers properly.

But what could be done? In between his failed attempts to leave the inn and Allen behind, dozens of minutes had passed. Wisely was trying to contact him even now, asking how much longer he would have to wait around, but Tyki didn't find in himself the power to stand up and phase through that door. Because after so long, Allen was only his, with no distraction. They were so close that their souls could touch, yet none of them said a word.

Tyki let his fingers trail short, gentle touches on Allen's cheek, holding back his laugh at what could happen if the boy actually knew what he was doing to him. Allen would probably flee past him in a rush, all the while trying to find his coherence and ask him what the hell he was trying to do. And he'd blush so hard, it would make Tyki want to chase him.

It had been quite a while since the last time his fingers dared to touch Allen like this. And honestly, Tyki would have prefered it to happen again - to actually feel Allen's warmth under his fingertips. But he'd probably love a change of scenery this time, since that one time before, they were fighting to death.

In Allen's eyes, he now noticed the same hint of persistent worry that Tim had seen before - the boy couldn't help but feel cornered. By Apocryphos, most likely, or by the fate itself.

It was a sudden occurence that Tyki thought back to a discussion he'd had with Devit and Jasdero. Having heard the two of them mention "catching the Apocreep for interrogation", Tyki considered an assist. At that time, Joyd was still in a frenzy because of Apocryphos, too, so the idea seemed to satisfy their need. Sheril was busy screaming his lungs off at Bookman, but he would have agreed if he had been around. That made four of them, and Wisely could tag along if he wanted.

The more he looked at Allen, the more Tyki felt something burning within him. Maybe after he returned home, he'd ask the twins about their plan to see what the actual chances of success were. Because catching that innocence would not only benefit the Earl and the clan, but Allen, too, so he could follow through with his journey, no matter where it led him.

Allen's stretching brought him back to reality. At first, Tyki thought that the boy was going to bed, so he planned to follow him and hold his hand until he would manage to slip into the realm of dreams.

However, he stopped short, an invisible leg frozen mid-air. For a minute, he could only stare at Allen as he went back and forth through the small room, sometimes even checking to see if there was anyone outside. He checked the bathroom two times. Then opened the window, looking North, South, East, West, with a progressively confused look on his face. It was funny to see the boy check even under the bed, but Tyki couldn't understand for the life of him just what it was that Allen searched for. It was hard not to ask him, honestly.

"What in the world-" he heard Allen mumble softly. "Am I imagining things?"

Those thoughts from before aside, Allen wanted to know why he had been feeling someone else's presence so close to him ever since he returned from dinner. He knew that it wasn't Apocryphos. If that had been the case, Tim would have thrown a tantrum, Clown would have gone berserk and he would have felt shaken from the inside out upon opening the door. But he was feeling calm - more curious than anything.

...It couldn't be, right? Tyki had said it himself that it would be boring to play with him right now. And why was he thinking about Tyki again? Why was he the only one who would pop up in his mind, the only option? Why couldn't he think of Krory, or Miranda, or Timothy? Of his friends?

Allen thought he'd felt something sting his chest when he sat up, cleaning the dust off of his pajamas. Then, reaching out a hand towards nothing in particular, he let that name slip past his lips again, careful not to wake up Tim.

"Ty...ki?"

Then he waited, but nothing really happened. In the end, deeming it impossible and a game of his exhausted mind, he sat on his bed, dejected.

If only he knew. If only Allen knew where his hand had been, and what it almost touched. Tyki could only stare, shock surging through him as Allen's hand went right through his luckily invisible form, piercing his heart of all it could pierce. He could feel a tremor as he asked himself 'Is this what you felt that time, boy?'

There was no pain, really. Nothing of that sort. But it felt strange, even more so than with a sword; it was as if Allen had returned something to him with that simple, unintentioned gesture. For a moment, Tyki couldn't really breathe, even as he leaned forward to kiss the hand that Allen held towards him. Unable to think straight, he left the room, but for the first time that day, he wanted a change of plans. He needed Allen to see him.

Behind the closed door that he knew Allen was still watching, Tyki sighed softly, releasing all the tension he was holding in his body. In a slow, deliberate act, he abandoned whatever bit of his Noah power he'd been using. The feeling of his feet digging into the soft carpet, of his fingers resting against the wooden door, the single drop of sweat trickling down from his hair, they were all humane sensations gradually returning to him.

How did Allen notice him? Did he, even? Or was it just the need to see him that materialized itself? Those questions swirled in Tyki's mind and it was so tempting to ask Allen about it all, even with his whole "undercover mission to check up on the boy" going out the window.

Before long, he heard a knock on the door, and looking down, he realized that his hand had acted on its own. There was a faint creaking coming from inside the room, a sign that Allen was now heading towards him.

'Oh well,' Tyki thought to himself, straightening up. 'Here goes everything.'

By the time Allen opened the door, he saw no one. The hint of a frown crossed his face, and he was about to step out of the room, in pajamas and slippers, no less, only to look for the one who purposefully disturbed his sleep. But he stopped, catching his breath at the sound of an all too familiar voice coming from around the corner.

"Found me out, eh, boy? Can't say I mind that, though." There was a strange sense of relief in the way Tyki revealed himself, hands up, as if to say the hide and seek game was over.

For his part, Allen didn't know whether to laugh about having been right, or act grumpy over the unexpected intrusion, so he only let out a troubled chuckle. "I knew it was you. It had to be you. But," he hesitated, searching Tyki's gaze, "why now?"

"I couldn't help myself. I woke up in the morning with a need to see you."

'Oh. I wasn't the only one.'

Allen's thought never found voice, but he kept his eyes on Tyki, studying him from head to toe as the man slowly approached him. "I see... Did anyone else come with you?"

"No. I wanted to come on my own. This is more of a personal matter. No one else needs to be involved."

Weighing Tyki's words and thinking how funny it was that the man somehow repeated his own words back to him, Allen smiled. He hadn't known just how much he'd missed Tyki's voice until that very moment. "We're on our own then? It's surprising." And nice, so nice, but Allen carefully let that slip. "How have you been? Any changes?"

"Oh, no. Things just keep repeating themselves and we're running from one location to the other. It's just as hectic as ever." There was no way he could tell Allen of the hurt. Plus, in a way, Tyki wasn't lying. Recently, he felt as if the only thing he did was search for Innocence fragments.

Leading Tyki into the room, Allen closed the door behind them. He nodded ever so slightly, acknowledging Tyki's response.

"What about Road? Is she... okay?" Just as he asked the question, Allen remembered how Road had saved him, how he kept putting the blame on his shoulders for the way Road had sacrificed herself for his sake. He held Tyki's gaze with hopeful eyes that glittered like stars in the dark of the night.

"Road is recovering. She's in a very weak state, but we know she'll be okay. No idea how long that will take though."

"I'm... sorry."

"I know. But none of us anticipated this. And she did what she felt would be the best thing for you. So let me ask you, how are you feeling, boy?"

There was a long pause before the actual reply. Allen wasn't even sure he had a proper answer to give, but he wanted to try, at least. "Tired," he allowed, exhaling a long, almost painful breath. "Some days are okay, some others are so exhausting. I'm not sure if I'm making any progress either. And I miss everyone so much."

They were the same words he'd heard, except this time he had the power to encourage Allen. "Maybe you don't feel any progress. But remember, at the end of the day, you're still your own person and you've only started looking for answers."

"Mm. Maybe you're right. But it hurts, even now. I'd found a place and now it's gone again. Just like back then."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Tyki's question felt good to hear, but not at all that easy to answer. In the end, Allen shook his head. "No. It's too much to talk about." Maybe someday Allen will find in himself the power to tell Tyki the whole truth. But as the things were at the moment, he wasn't sure how much of it was true himself.

"I understand. Don't worry. I didn't come here to make you uncomfortable."

"Say, Tyki... how was it for you? When you became a Noah."

"When I became a Noah, huh..." He scratched the back of his neck, looking for distant fragments of memories. Somehow, he had expected such a question from Allen and from the boy's voice, he could tell that he was the only one who could answer that question the way Allen needed. "I remember it was really painful. And at times, I was afraid to sleep. I could clearly feel someone else's presence in my mind, and whenever I closed my eyes, I'd see the memories of so many people at once. I had no idea what to do to stop them."

At the mention of being unable to sleep, Allen averted his eyes, and a sigh left him. Really, he was hoping Tyki didn't have to experience that feeling.

"Then one day, I woke up with blood all over my face, trickling down from my forehead. I felt nauseous at the sight, and the mirror cracked slightly when I pulled away. My eyes had changed, too. My head hurt so much and I didn't really feel human. Soon enough, I met the Earl. He'd brought Road along. She threw her arms around my neck, saying she had missed me dearly, and I couldn't deny the feeling that I had seen her before, somewhere. After that I met Sheril. He was so happy to see me and called me his "brother". I had become their family in no time, and learned that they had the same purpose as me. But..."

"But?"

"Their purpose was a war that I felt I was being pulled towards. Not by them, but by that someone laying dormant within me. Whenever I turned, I started getting a sick need to kill. I could only hope to remain myself, but my humanity was slipping through my fingers. So for a good part of my life, I fought to suppress those powers."

With his eyes wide, Allen shivered at the memory of Cross telling him that once the Fourteenth took over, he would end up killing a loved one with his own hands. Of course, Allen quietly resonated with Tyki's decision. But, he thought, how would he be able to suppress someone like the Fourteenth?

"A war you have no choice but to fight in, huh? So we are in the same boat. Except I have no idea what my Noah is thinking and... I'm not sure I want to know." Lowering his voice, Allen went on, surprised by how easy it was to actually talk to Tyki after some time. "I've been told that the Noah memories are slowly going to erode the host, until only the Noah remains. The last time I tried to figure anything out, I was close to losing myself for good."

Tyki nodded. "You're stuck with a troublesome one. Naturally, you will seek him and the answers will come. But the price for those answers is as expensive as your life as you know it. There must be some other way." Unconsciously, he put his hand around Allen's waist, seeking to take the boy's hand into his. Tyki loved the feeling of Allen's hand, the warmth of him, but narrowed his eyes in visible pain as he realized how much thinner those fingers had gotten since the last time they saw each other.

"What's with that face?"

"You... have you been eating properly?" There was genuine concern in that voice, and an edge of anger, the one that came from one's need to protect. But Tyki immediately realized what Allen's answer would be and frowned in defeat.

"Not really. I don't want to attract unnecessary attention, so I'm eating less than usual. Plus, I'm on the run for most of the day. Even if I'm hungry, I don't usually have time to sit and eat."

Now he regretted not getting a room of his own. At least then he would have been able to get food and share it with Allen.

"But I'll do something about it soon. I promise! So don't worry about me."

The frown on Tyki's face only deepened. How could he not worry? But getting more upset wouldn't make the situation better for either of them, so he decided to playfully scold Allen instead.

"I'm so close to just taking you to the best restaurant I know and ordering all the food on the menu for you. I swear to god, boy!"

Allen finally laughed after what seemed like an eternity, and the sound of it soothed Tyki's heart, as he only wished to ease the burden on the boy's shoulders. "That sounds nice, but we'd get looks. Plenty of them."

"I don't care!"

"And what are you going to do if we're seen together? Let's say, by one of the finders." It scared him how possible that outcome actually was, and yet he lifted an eyebrow in amusement, casually waiting for Tyki's response.

"Maybe pose, and then run away with you...- I'm serious! Don't give me that look!" Allen rolled his eyes, only to laugh again afterwards, as if he had seen the complete chaos of a scene unfolding before his eyes.

"If we meet someone we know, I'm not using the Ark to get us out of trouble. Just so you know."

"Fine, then I'm going to tell them I'm taking you to dinner and I won't be handing you over until you're done treating yourself."

"Tyki, no! Not the dinner excuse again! Also, are you planning to hand me over?" Judging by his voice, Allen knew that wasn't the case, but this banter was too funny to stop now, almost like they had returned to their old selves and none of the hurt had happened.

"Of course not! But I might make a scene in front of them so they leave you alone."

"If you act like you do when you're flirting with me on the battlefield, we're doomed."

"Oh, come on, spare me a chance!"

There were so many things that Allen didn't understand - this sudden encounter was one of them. He also had to figure out where to go tomorrow, or how to tame Crowned Clown if Apocryphos were around. Also, where would be the best place to avoid the Akuma? Will he meet any of his friends? And if he did, would he have to run away from them? Those questions haunted his mind far too many times in the span of a day, so now he chose to focus on the person in front of him.

"Look at us. Five minutes ago we were a mess. Now we're laughing in spite of everything."

"And I got to see your smile again. It's been a while, boy."

Come to think of it, it had been so long since he had a chance to meet Tyki like this. Their last few meetings were loud, and constantly under pressure due to the circumstances; this one was nothing like that. It was quiet. Intimate. Everything that Allen really needed.

"It certainly has." His smile told Tyki the words Allen would probably never say out loud. 'I missed spending leisure time with you. I'm still worried, but having you beside me makes it a tiny bit easier.'

"But seriously, you must eat. And sleep. You have dark circles under your eyes, you know."

"I will. I'll try, that's a promise."

It was a swift move, so Allen could only stare, eyes wide as Tyki leaned in to gently kiss his forehead. "Silly boy. Take good care of yourself, okay? I want to see you win."

Suddenly, Tyki's voice was so clear in his ears and warm breath tickled his skin. Allen felt his heartbeat quicken as his cheeks grew slightly warm, but he didn't have it in him to push Tyki away. Not when Tyki had his arms around him, keeping him securely cradled against his chest.

It felt like someone was bandaging the open wounds of his soul. Allen hadn't received a hug in weeks; he was starved for this kind of touch, for this genuine affection, but knowing he no longer had people to receive it from, he had shut that need out of his system. Running solely on the fight-or-flight instinct for days on end, Allen had forgotten how warmth felt. But Tyki stubbornly wished to remind him of it.

No form of protest came to his mind as he gradually relaxed into Tyki's arms, pressing his head against Tyki's chest to listen to the rhythm of his heart. This much was okay. It was fine, as long as it was Tyki, as long as he knew he could let go for a bit.

"Um- What is this for?" Allen asked in a low voice, not daring to move.

"Nothing much. I just felt like doing it."

His simple answer probably confused Allen, but even so, Tyki was glad to see the boy accepting him like this. There was no sign of the shock or the pain from before. Nothing burned, nor ached any longer. It was just pure calm spreading through them and bringing them closer, so much that Tyki actually scolded himself for not letting Allen see him sooner.

"I see. Well, don't you dare stop now."

"Don't worry. I won't," he allowed, a soft laugh passing his lips. "Your wish is my command, boy." And in truth, it was not like Tyki himself could break free after having waited to properly embrace Allen since the night before. So he let the minutes flow by as if they were seconds, all the while enjoying Allen's presence and feeling truly present beside Allen.

For the second time that night, he landed a kiss on Allen's head, enjoying the small appreciative sound the boy let out in response. His lips traveled all the way down to Allen's temples, his cheeks, his jawline, covering every inch of the soft skin with his adoration.

Reaching Allen's neck, Tyki surprisedly noticed the boy shivering in his hold - for a good reason this time. "That tickles-!" he heard Allen comment in a rather reserved tone, and god, that was so cute. He didn't bother to hide the wide grin he had on his lips as he continued to assault Allen with his love.

The next time their eyes met, it looked like the blazing sun met the moon at the end of the day, and after a long, tremendous search, they could finally stay together.

Allen tried to call Tyki's name, but all the words died on his tongue when he found himself at the mercy of Tyki's kiss. It began softly, like all the others had, then turned to a swirl of feelings that no one could name. So overwhelming, it left his heart racing and his mind blank. So sweet, it turned his legs to jelly and cheeks to a living furnace. Allen gave in and followed Tyki's lead, clinging to him like he would to a long lost lover. In between soft gasps, they chased each other, yearned for each other, clashed with one another. And then, it all ended, leaving but a haze behind.

"Say, boy," Tyki whispered, as he fought to catch his breath, "will you lay down for me?"

Although unsure of the man's motives and still very much dizzy, Allen complied. Through half-lidded eyes, he watched as Tyki hovered above him, pinning him effortlessly; and what a beautiful sight that was. It was enough to take one's breath away. Allen felt Tyki's long, skillful fingers working the buttons of his shirt open, one by one, to reveal his thick, jagged scars. The same scars he knew he had given to Tyki not that long ago. There was a certain flicker in Tyki's eyes as he paused to stare at them, at how deep they were.

"My scars... you wanted to see them? Why?"

As if awakened from their slumber, the memories of that day resurfaced. Allen couldn't help but think back to the excruciating pain he'd felt when the Innocence cut through him for the first time. He remembered every second of it, heard the echo of his desperate cry in the depths of his mind, as he lay bare in front of his supposed enemy.

"Because I know how much of a pain they are."

Tyki just couldn't remain indifferent to those scars because they resembled his so much. And as much as he wanted to, he couldn't erase them, just like Allen couldn't erase Joyd. Those scars would remain carved onto Allen's body forever. So instead, he wanted to try and banish the pain as far away as possible, even if only temporarily. He leaned in to kiss Allen's forehead once again. The kiss was warm and devout, an intimate gesture that set his soul aflame.

'Let me place a kiss upon your mind, to put your worries at ease.'

The boy's eyes fell closed almost instinctively, and he welcomed Tyki with his arms wide open. He felt needed, loved, adored, so much that it felt like a dream. One he didn't want to leave behind. Tyki's lips traced the line of the scar adorning his face. It was a scar that he had deemed grotesque, that he associated with intense guilt and regret, yet Tyki kissed it, not once, but multiple times, letting the warmth spread through it.

"Does it hurt?"

As Tyki's question interrupted the string of his thoughts, Allen shook his head in reply. "No. Not anymore." It used to sting him so much, and sometimes he felt like it would burn through his eye. Only the time numbed the pain, while leaving him with a constant reminder of his past mistake.

"The scar itself doesn't, and yet you look like you're about to cry."

"I don't!"

"Your eyelashes are trembling," Tyki countered, then leaned in to kiss Allen's tears away. "My boy, this is not one of our games. You can't fool me."

With a pout, Allen admitted defeat. But really, he wished he could tell Tyki that those weren't exactly tears of sadness or pain, but rather tears of gratitude for his presence, tears of love. A gasp of surprise rolled off Allen's tongue at the sensation of Tyki's warm breath right above his heart. The kiss that followed was by all means tender, chaste, like an apology for the old times.

'Let me kiss the heart I once threatened to break.'

Tyki felt Allen's hand nestling in his hair, thin fingers playing with his long, soft curls. It was rather funny, he thought to himself, making his way down to the boy's chest. It felt like they had changed sides for once, like Allen had managed to lower the wall he used to put between them.

The damage in Allen's scars was surely beyond repair, but right now, looking from up close, they seemed more like cracks for Tyki to pour his love into. So he did. He painted Allen's torso with his soft, reverent kisses, getting lost in the intimacy of the moment they shared. There was no pain, nor guilt or shame, only feather light touches and a sense of familiarity, of tranquility immersing them both.

'Let me kiss the scars that link us together, until I melt the pain away.'

*

The late night hours found them embraced still, tucked under the fluffy blanket. Tyki had thrown his shirt onto the floor so he would have an excuse to stay close to Allen. Wisely gave up on his wait and made sure to let Tyki know he'll be going to sleep, while also hissing at him because he had run out of decent excuses to cover his leave. But he was forced to take a step back and cool down at the realization that if it were Road, she would have agreed to Tyki's reckless behavior.

As for Tyki, he understood Wisely's concern, he really did, but there was no way in God's name he could leave Allen on his own just yet. Having decided to stay until Allen falls asleep, he pushed everything else aside - even a stray swarm of Akuma, as he literally sent them away, just in case they might have taken notice of Allen.

"I still think you're doing this on purpose," Allen laughed, breaking the silence. He pulled Tyki closer to him, finding shelter against his warm chest.

"Well, you're right. And my sole purpose is making sure you're doing well."

"Yes, that, and making it harder for me to face you in a fight when the time comes!" He didn't try to push back the hint of frustration in his voice, but Tyki only ruffled his hair, the familiar smile never leaving his face.

"Do you want us to fight, boy?"

At that, Allen shook his head aggressively, letting a few strands of his hair brush against Tyki's skin. "No... No, I don't feel like fighting against you again. And sometimes I feel like you don't want that, either. But it's a war, and- I will probably be forced to stand up against you someday."

"I don't want to hurt you again. I played the enemy game against you simply because I had to. But let me tell you something. If, by chance, we will be put against each other in the future, that won't be us. It won't be about us anymore.

Silver eyes widened in shock at the implications in Tyki's voice. Allen couldn't counter those words, especially in his current situation, so he only hoped that day would be late to come.

With Tyki's scar stretching wide before his eyes, he weighed the possibility, the urge of returning Tyki's affection. Surely, Tyki's scars hurt more than his did. So what if-

'What if I soothe your scars, too? I was the one who made them after all.'

His thought was an impulse that Allen felt compelled to obey. So he pressed his lips to Tyki's chest, much to Tyki's unrestrained bewilderment. Tyki's scent invaded him, engulfing him as much as his warmth did. Long ago, Allen feared that scent, but he'd seen the reason for his fear fade away as soon as Tyki embraced him. It was the scent of tobacco and musk, so radiant, yet aloof at the same time.

"What are you-" Tyki attempted to ask, but Allen put a finger on his lips before he could finish the sentence.

"Consider this your turn", Allen whispered, some kind of amusement dancing in his voice. "You wanted to make sure I was okay, now you won't leave until I'm done returning your kisses. No buts allowed."

Any protests died before they even had a chance to be voiced. And, unusual as it was, Tyki didn't really want to put an end to this bold turn of events. Because he remembered how it stung, the way his scars burned, the way they made him tremble, and Allen's kisses landed exactly where the hurt had been.

"And," Allen spoke as he slowly made his way to Tyki's upper arm, "your Noah marks... let me kiss them, too."

'...So I could banish the pain from long ago like you wanted to do with mine.'