Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

I've spent a lot of time in some pretty down-right icky situations. The nooks and crannies of all the different minds I've been to in the last 96 hours have been some of the raunchiest locales that any Psychic Sailor has ever dropped anchor in. But even in the folds and undulations of the most cobweb and crud filled craniums pale in comparison to a dirty circus stable, zebra crap will lodge itself in your nose and make every spoonful of borscht make you wanna gag for days . And I'd take cleaning the stables over cleaning Dion and Frazzie's tents. You'd think that with all those years they have over me they'd be a bit more organized, maybe it's the hormones or something. 

"Whoever invented shag carpeting should be tried for war crimes ." I pride myself in keeping a comparatively sound mental state, but sometimes I let that mask slip. This is one of those instances.

"WHAT?" Lizzie roared over the cobweb duster, I was sucking up as much rat, skunk, beaver, and chupacabra droppings left in the Feel Mobile. I spent, like, 800 arrowheads of pure psitanium on this thing so I'm trying to get my money's worth. I did the math- one arrowhead can net you like 75 cents if you exchange it for cold-hard cash from Otto. Ford was running a racket back at Whispering Rock. 

"I SAID-" it was at this point that I remembered that all of us are psychic, || Whoever invented shag carpeting should be tried for war crimes || I tend to keep casual conversation face-to-face and not mind-to-mind, probably more polite this way. And most of the fellow psychics I've met in the last couple of days usually follow the same decorum.

"OHHHHhhh…" Lizzie cracked a small smirk and took a seat on a freshly vacuumed patch of shag and set a disgusting pale of multicolored mop water to the side. Our first Unofficial Official Top Secret Classified Mission as Junior Agents was to clean out the Feel Mobile- we were initially planning on saying "oh, heck naw" to Psi-King and Bob, but they asked nicely. 

I sighed and went back to work. 20 years of neglect have rendered the Feel Mobile a shadow of its former self. As detailed in TPT #24 the Feel Mobile was the mobile base of operations for the Phychic 6. I will admit that despite the smell it is pretty rad to step foot in a piece of Psychonaut history, but I will have to run a hose over my boots before I step foot indoors. Bob's old tinctures of Psycheomopathic Remedies look like they've grown some kind of rudimentary sentience and vibrate when exposed to light, and whatever chemicals Otto decided to let sit in flasks and test tubes made Sam almost astrally project right out of her body after she got a whiff. The first thing we fought over was to whether or not to burn them all or if whatever fumes and gasses that threatened to release from their burning would cause irreversible damage to the local ecosystem. 

We set all the old furniture and sundries to the side so Bob and Helmut could argue about what to keep and what to throw. I was able to score a Psychodessy poster and Helmut autographed it- using telekinesis since he doesn't have his body back yet. Norma let me know that it was probably worth "Like, 50,000 dollars" on some website called All-Seeing-EyeBay which is where psychics get together on the internet to sell and buy vintage Psychonauts tech and memorabilia. Don't have a whole lot of experience on the internet (but I have read a couple books about it), Dion just got a cellphone. But that's circus life for you. 

I stopped the cobweb duster. Lizzie had a hand to her temple and had a pretty nasty grimace on her face. I quickly put up my mental defenses with a laugh, " Hah! Come at me! What is it gonna be now? Dump nasty carpet water on me? I can't get anymore wet ." I shot her a look of satisfaction before slapping on my goggles, " AND I made sure to hand my jacket over to Lili sooooo I'm not even worried about having to reapply the waterproofing oil! " 

"Dude, shut up I'm concentra-" Lizzie closed her eyes and groaned, "Raz. What is your freakin' deal, dude? I've been trying to telepathically communicate with you for, like, minutes and it's like yelling at a smelly brick wall. Speaking of which- is that what made your old jacket stink so bad? That oil stuff? It took Norma a whole hour just to get the stink of dead fish and formaldehyde off of it!" 

I didn't even notice that Lizzie was struggling to contact me telepathically, I guess the last couple of days have been pretty hectic and have inadvertently caused my mental barriers to be up out of habit. Heck, I had trouble keeping communication up with everyone yesterday morning in Loboto's head and that was with Milla and Sasha . "Sorry, Lizzie. I'll try to keep that Open sign on my head lit up." It took a bit of concentration but I got my third eye to blink open, ||Also, why the heck did Norma do my laundry? ||  

"Oi! wait a min'" A groan came from the passenger seat and Adam turned around to meet us massaged his temples, ||So that's why you haven't said anything this whole conversation! I just thought you were concentrating real hard on that carpet… Oh, and don't get Lizzie wrong- them (and me included due to my inaction from stopping them- sorry, dude) stealing your clothes was a mean spirited prank, but we could smell you coming in, mate. You were absolutely rank .|| 

|| Yeah, what the hell happened to you at Whispering Rock? You smelt worse than Sam's Surf and Surf Flapjacks!|| Gisu didn't bother turning around from the driver's seat, she was busy tinkering around with the console. 

||I , uh, did spend a lot of time with a mutated sentient Lungfish named Linda, and I was also handling a lot of brains. I guess with the leather gloves on I never really remembered to wash my hands- hope those kids at the camp I returned those brains to had their hepatitis shots…|| I took the moment to TK the van door open to get some fresh air in and emptied the cobweb duster out in a trash bag before throwing it in Fulbear's distressingly small Throw Out pile. 

I can kinda get where Fulbear is coming from- physical mementos of the past don't just offer sentimental value but having a corporeal object to focus on can make recounting your memories easier (for better or worse). This was discussed in TPT #74 when Agent O'Pia tracked down the illusive SemantiMan using a thesaurus from his personal collection he donated to the local library. I tend to catalog my day-to-day activities in my journal for future reflection using the same exact format that was used by Psychonauts detailed in the True Psychic Tales Junior Psychic's Guide To Psychonauts ever since I got my grubby little 7 year old hands on a copy I bought at a used book store. Took me a whole month of doing cartwheels for tips on the streets in secret, but it was worth it. That book was a wealth of information. 

||ARGH! THAT'S WHY-|| We all covered our ears at Norma's voice ringing between our ears, she jumped in a huff into the van carrying two buckets full of freshly boiled water, ||Oops. Sorry for yelling, I'm just pissed off.|| She sighed and levitated the buckets over to her sister and went to lay down on the possibly bedbug covered bed, but to our dismay remembered just how gross the van was still and levitated her body face up ||I thought that cute little diary of yours with all the stickers and poetry about how green Lili's eyes are was a huge red flag. It was all in classic Psychonaut Field Agent Format, but before the Delugionist schism more than a decade back. That, coupled with your oddly high mental barriers, seemingly performative naivity and ineptitude, backpack full of a mints worth of pure psitanium arrowheads, and literal fishy smell.|| She, once again, let out a sigh in our minds instead of sighing with her mouth, because Norma is that type of person, ||I thought for sure figuring out you were the mole would have been my ticket to Junior Agent status, or at least would get me in Truman's good graces… Too bad you ended up being… "good" or whatever.|| 

Well, I guess Norma is just reading my mind now. || Well, sorry for ju-|| 

|| Okay, Raz. Shut up for one second.|| Gisu sighed, this time with her mouth and not her mind because Gisu is cool and not lame. She laughed and everyone else joined her, but now I'm starting to feel like I'm the one they are laughing at. ||Soooo o that weird "narrator" bit you're doing is not a bit, huh? Oh my god, that's hilarious!||  

I am beginning to suspect that I am performing some kind of Psychic Faux Pas or Telepathic Party Foul. I found myself sighing. This time with my mouth and my mind. I guess I've been ashamed and guilty about my powers and who I am for the last 10 years of my life. I felt like a freak among freakshows at that circus. I thought maybe visiting Whispering Rock would've introduced me to a community of like-minded individuals, but a good majority of the campers still treated me like I escaped from the circus. Which I guess I did. At least Lili, Ford, Milla, Sasha, and Oleander proved to be steadfast friends and comrades. I thought maybe The Motherlobe would be kinder, but maybe kindness isn't something to look forward to. Maybe it's something you give to others, and maybe sometimes you get lucky and have that kindness returned to you. 

This world is give and take, but I'm just a ten year old kid so I'm not sure what I have to give in the first place. I started back up the cobweb duster and got back to work. Maybe focusing on something will shut me up and stop embarrassing myself, but I'm pretty sure that ship has sailed. 

I saw everyone get back to work. Gisu got back to tinkering with the radio. Lizzie returned to deep-cleaning the carpet with currents of water. Norma rolled her eyes and TK'd the pails of dirty water to follow behind her as she left to refill them. Sam is still recovering from breathing in those fumes in-between on the ground outside. But in the corner of my eye I saw Adam sigh and get out of the seat. 

He walked towards me and squatted to turn off the cobweb duster and looked me in the eyes, "Listen, Raz." He had a sheepish apologetic look on his face, "We're sorry for laughing at you, my man. We all know how overwhelming it can be at first, I know it took my quite a bit of time to get adjusted to all the voices and noises and stray little mental shocks when I first stepped foot in HQ. I just saw a lot of myself in you, I guess, and it made me chuckle." He shook his head, "But that's no excuse. You're a full-fledged Psychonaut now. And that's gotta be a ton of responsibility thrown on your shoulders-" He threw his hands on my shoulders and gave me a little shake, "But you can count on us to always have your back. You aren't alone anymore, mate!" He released me and slapped my back for good measure, only to recoil in horror as the sensation of touching a sweat and van-juice soaked sweater assailed his hand.

I found myself cracking a smile, "Thanks, Adam." I turned my attention to the rest of the group, "And I'm sorry for pooping all over the mood, you guys. I guess I oughtta practice more with the whole being vulnerable but not too vulnerable thing." 

"Don't seat it, man." Gisu shook her head and TK'ed the old cassette player out of the dash and looked at it in disgust as a family of roaches crawled out of the slot, "I am not a fan of telepathy in most cases- it's like, there is a time and a place for that. My mind is my mind, you know?" She scratched her scalp with a screwdriver, "It's like- I always shut the door when I'm on the toilet. Some things should just be private. That's probably why I don't date other psychics, and the ones I do end up dating better not have too much going on up there. Too crowded for my tastes." 

"That explains Dion." I laughed, Gisu could only shrug her shoulders and laugh in response. 

Norma walked in with a 6 pack of ESParilla and handed me one with a smile, I quickly took off my gloves and took it from her, "Gee, thanks Norma!" I made sure to open the bottle pointed at her, but to my dismay the cap clattered to the floor without any sudsy accompaniment, "Dang, thought for sure you shook them up." 

Norma shook her head and casually handed out the rest of the sodas to the currently cognizant crew, "Raz, Raz, Raz. There is a time and a place for mischief and hazing- as detailed in The Junior Psychic's Guide To Psychonauts." Lizzie downed the bottle in a flash and gave a burp, Norma adjusted her glasses and coughed in feigned embarrassment, "And in regards to TP, I remember a certain someone breaking down in tears because Agent Forscythe yelled at her a witle too wooooud and made her bwaaaain shake. " 

Lizzie quickly TK'ed the bottle out of Norma's hands and upended it over her head, "And I remember a certain someone who used to wet the bed till she was 12 ." 

Norma adjusted her glasses and groaned before drying herself with pyrokinesis, "Okay, first of all: my bed only got wet from the sprinkler system," Norma shot me a look, "I had a bed burning problem." I nodded my head, I guess it takes a lot of courage to own up to something as lame and embarrassing as that, "And second : Lizzie, you owe me a soda. Quit making messes and increasing our workload." Adam shook his head and handed Norma his soda before relieving Norma of her water duties. "Thanks, Adam. Appreciate it." Norma gave him a pat on the back as he casually levitated out the van door with a wink, the dirty water pails floating behind him. She cracked open the bottle and took a deep drink, hauling all that water probably gets old after a while.

Lizzie and Norma have a pretty complex relationship. They can't really stand each other despite being siblings and butt heads at every opportunity. Though they'll still begrudgingly work together when it's time to get serious.

Okay, actually maybe it's not that nuanced and complicated. 

I took a sip of the soda, "Huh," I let the fizz roll around in my mouth a bit before letting it slide down my mouth, " Very complex. Not exactly sweet- just a slight honey bite to it. But herbally, not to the point where it tastes like I'm drinking carbonated bark-water or something." I smacked my lips before taking another sip, " Nostalgic! Kinda tastes like this kombucha tea Nona used to make with roots and mushrooms! Makes the tummy warm, probably medicinal. Mom and Dad never let me have a sip, so I had to-" Uh, oh, hey, I feel kinda weird, "I had to sneak around and-" Is it the fumes in here, I kiiiiiinda feel "Not lightheaded," Like the opposite of that, "Like my head feels like a brick-" 

I had to sit down. "Hey, Lizzie?" I tried to get her attention, I was going to ask her if she could chill my soda so I could get a taste with it not lukewarm, "It might change the mouthfeel." 

In response Lizzie blinked and snapped her fingers, the glass bottle in my hand dropped a few degrees. "Huh." || It smells kinda blue in here, almost purple. || "Do you guys hear that smell?" Lizzie pointed at one of Agent O'Pia's Dream Interceptors hanging from the ceiling, || I can swear, I can feel it- you can too, can't you, Raz? Like getting your zipper stuck in your undershirt.|| "Painting a still life portrait on a canvas of noise, that's a dance for 14 arms- not 2. How many made that lock on the ceiling? Too many threads for just 1 needle." 

She is making a pretty good point, I nodded my head, "You can't just fold up the paper tiger like it's origami, you have to keep it in your wallet." I smirked at Norma and pointed a fingergun at her, "Sometimes you have to keep your receipts, never know when you have to return something. The Wise Accountant records every wind in his pocket, even the winds with the numbers that don't add up." She looked at me like I was eyeshadow on a cactus, overdressed for a dry conversation, "Norma." I pulled the button Sasha Nein gave me to open the GIC out from my tricky bag, "Sasha imprinted this on my brainpan as a belated baby shower gift." 

"What." Norma squinted her eyes and brought the bottle of hers up and down, "Okay. I shouldn't of drank more of that. Agent Neruman, I advise you not to-" ||Or maybe it's better that you do, I think in my past life I was an architect|| "Some buildings were made just to tumble down," She snatched the button from my hands right as I was about to swallow it, "Imprinted? Raz. Sasha is a man not a billboard."  

"Ha!" I didn't know Norma could even make jokes, "Now that would be a Superbowl advertisement!" Gisu held her bottle to the light and looked at us, the smile on her face fading like she saw someone run the colors on hot, "No, the button, Agent Natividad, is an idea, like a memory . We can color inside the lines and by the numbers, but it'll smudge and bleed through if you lay too much ink on. Sasha gave me his homework but I neglected to change it enough, an academic dishonesty. The button is malleable, like a handful of clay- like a memory. It means a lot of things, but not everything." 

||It's simple, Norma.|| Lizzie was double talking, her mouth sounds in a facsimile of Agent Nein- a good attempt, ||The button still belongs to the shirt, and if so the shirt belongs to the button. Now, Norma. Is that your tacky sweater? Or do you belong to it?|| 

Gizu ran out of the van and I snagged her bottle that she left on the console, I was moving more than the van for once and didn't want it to end up upended and end her work. Gizu voided her stomach and Norma hissed, " Gastronaut? No." Norma's voice walked quietly out her mouth, "Trust is a dish best served Dutch." She contemplated the button and traced the lines with mending hands, "Tiffany Lamps. Shoe Polish. The accouterments of a mind defined by definitions, a mind weathered and shaped by its own winds from its own throat." She spoke into the button to the Listener, "To thread a needle? No- to needle the thread . Outerwear makes an outfit, but shoes are what walk the walk, Agent Nein." She slowly turned her head to greet our new guest. 

"Ah, welcome." Lizzie spat out, her curtsy forestalled by the weakness in her shoes. She collapsed, feet last onto the bed. 

"Agent Nein," I was feeling a bit proud of myself, "I have solved your Button Riddle. " 

I heard smelling salts and tasted awake. 

"Oh crap." I ran out the van door to puke my guts out, "NORMA, where did you get those sodas?" 

Norma and Lizzie were a bit busy right now, tossing their cookies into an empty pail. 

"Er, sorry, Raz…" I felt a warm hand pat my back and immediately went back to vomiting, "We had no idea that Norma wanted to drink that stuff. It's been sitting up in my fridge for years !" 

I groaned as Fulbear's voice rang in my ears || I thought she was just gonna put it up on a shelf or something, some vintage nic-nack collection, didn't think you party animals would crack 'em open!! Ha! I didn't peg you for a lightweight, Raz! Sorry, kid! But hey- think of this as a learning experience !|| 

"A good Psychonaut always keeps his mind sharp in enemy territory," Sasha sighed, I saw him casually step back to dodge an errant flow of ESParilla and stomach acid, "Granted- we aren't in enemy territory. Just, promise me you'll be more careful in the future. I understand that you may think that expiration dates are just disinformation propagated by gastronauts and corporations, but now hopefully this episodic memory will provide you with information on the contrary." 

Adam returned to the small stage out of breath, "Is everyone okay, Gisu?" 

"Yeah," I looked up to see Gisu leaning on the van, still a bit groggy, "We aren't dead. Bottles were just past their expiration date." 

"That's good to hear." Adam sighed in relief and took a seat on a box of vinyl records. 

"Whoa, hey, get your butt off those!" Morris arrived on the scene with an empty wheelbarrow, Adam jumped up and checked his watch casually and shot Morris an apologetic look, "Those tracks are irreplaceable ! Psychonaut History! Isn't that, like, your whole thing?" 

Adam grimaced a bit, "Oof, come on, dude. I'm more than just a history buff . I've got… hobbies!" 

"Yeah!" Gisu tried to defend him, "He's a history buff and he has a yo-yo ! Cut him some slack!" Okay, maybe she wasn't defending him. 

"I…" Norma finally found the strength to stand up again, Morris looked at Adam and Gisu in confusion and they just shrugged their shoulders, "I'm sorry, guys. I neglected to check the expiration dates. I take full responsibility for this." Wow. She usually doesn't do that. Maybe she's still sick- "I can still hear you, Raz." She sighed and walked over to my side, I think she was trying to give me emotional support but it's not really her strong suit.

"Yes, yes. Taking responsibility for your actions is a good quality for any Psychonaut," Sasha stoicly shook his head and sighed, "But sometimes accidents are accidents. Letting your mistakes eat you up inside will lead you to a path of self-destruction. You may not like this- but you are all still children," I stood at attention, Sasha flicked my badge and a ring was heard, "You will have many chances to learn from your mistakes. Now, what was this Button Riddle, Agent Aquato?" 

Huh? I guess he wants me to explain it out loud so he can pick it apart in front of everyone else, that's fine. That's just how Sasha is. I cleared my throat, "Objects when exposed to psychic energies can be imprinted with ideas or concepts, either intentionally or just by ambient psychic energies. By utilizing mental connection we can understand and sift through the imprinted objects through the context of where it stands from the source of the psychic activity or by other objects that resonate with them." Sasha tilted his head, probably a bad sign but I continued anyways, "So it's not just memories that are connected through these webs of objects but semantic concepts . There are multiple ways to utilize these imprintions but what we did just now was contact the source, not through clairvoyance but through the mental connections of semantic context in the collective unconscious- not the astral plane and ergo untraceable." Sasha was holding his breath and I meekly finished my garbage explanation, " Uh… I got the idea from True Psychic Tales issue number 74…" 

"How a detective might go about skiptracing in order to catch a target," Norma pushed up her glasses and tried to back me up, "The mental traces that we leave in the wreckage of our presence can be easily tracked back to its source. You need more leads to utilize this process, but these leads can be in the form of both substantial and insubstantial concepts." 

Lizzie lifted her head from the pail to adress Sasha, she was in a bad way, "Kinda like a private detective digging through a targets trash for receipts to generate a paper trail, you figure out the habits and cook up a profile to the dude your tracking, and- BAM, you got em in your sights." Lizzie flashed a fingergun at Agent Nein and then immediately went back to vomiting.

Bob's eyes widened, "So that's how SemantiMan did it? My god you…" He quickly ran over and gave Norma and I a hug, " You kids are GENIUSES! " 

Fulbear floated up to our faces and glowed in a rainbow aura, || HOT DAAMN! Guess they don't call you kiddos the New Seven for nothing! I bet you cats coulda cracked open all the baddies we faced over the years with just a snap of your fingers! And all it took was some expired soda for you to figure out SemantiMan's secret? Hey, Bob, you got any more of tha-||

"That is enough soda for one day, Fulbear. Too much sugar." Sasha shook his head and Bob released the duo, "We may have a very comprehensive dental plan but our on-site dentist is currently on… a vacation." Sasha sighed and took out a voice recorder from his coat pocket, "Thank you for your explanation, Raz. You never cease to surprise me." He directed his expressionless face to Norma who met him with a steely gaze of her own, "And I could not have asked for a better mentee. Norma, your ability to parse Raz's mind and interpret his almost incoherent ramblings and immediately being able to put them into practice is quite telling of the wonderful Psychonaut that you will become." Sasha nodded at a still collapsed Lizzie, "Lizzie surprised me too, she drank a whole bottle and still somehow kept some semblance of lucidity. She also recognized intuitively what Raz was explaining, curious…" 

"Thanks, Nein…" Lizzie flashed a thumbs up but couldn't find the strength to lift her arm, "Could you get us some water or something?" Sasha nodded his head and levitated away. 

Norma's face lost any semblance of "steelyness" as soon as Sasha drifted off and she broke out in a sly smile, "That's the first time that jerk has ever complimented me," she shrugged her shoulders and returned her gaze back to us, "Over it." The two of us looked back into the van and sighed in relief, "Great, didn't vomit in the car." She quickly turned her attention back to Adam, "Quit standing around, you are still on water duty." 

"Let's take a break." I struggled a bit with taking my sweater off and wrung out the flopsweat, van-juice, and stomach acid, "The van isn't going anywhere." 

"Yet," Gisu clarified, she went over to the popped open hood, "Otto should be here soon and we'll be getting the van running in no time," She gave Bob and Fulbear a smile, "It'll be good as new! We promise." 

"Whoa, hold on a sec." Bob laughed, "Nah, we were gonna hand you guys the keys!" 

|| Yeah, I'm cashing in my retirement plan and buying a new tour bus. I really gotta thank Truman for talking me into that Roth IRA thing!|| Fulbear did a loop-d-loop in the air.

"Whoa, no way!" I exclaimed, "That's aweso-" Wait, "Can any of us drive?" 

"I mean," Lizzie crawled up Norma and leaned on her for support, "Not legally…" Lizzie burped and blew it into Norma's face who grimaced and dropped her onto the floor, "Me and Norma are only 14." That is insane. I thought for sure Norma was in her early 40's with how she dresses like a cat-lady spinster and her weird voice that always makes her sound like she's 5 seconds away from threatening to call my manager. I thought she was just stuck in the intern program because nobody likes her. Honestly, hearing that she was 14 and looked and acted like that kinda made me feel bad for her- I honestly think I like her more now, out of pity. Everyone has started laughing again. 

"Alright, Raz?" Norma calmly shook her head and let out a raspy sigh, "You do know I have feelings right?" She lied. I am pretty sure if Norma had feelings she wouldn't be so mean all the time, she's different from Bobby from camp because I can't beat her up because she's my coworker- and because I think she's funny sometimes. Mostly in how she looks and pretends to be cool and composed like Sasha but ends up coming off like a teenager whose parents probably should've hugged more. "Okay, Raz. Please. Put up your mental barriers." Her voice had an odd timbre to it, probably because she was plotting her revenge or wondering what my brain tastes like. "No, listen. Please put your barriers up." Oh, she's sad because I was being mean to her, that's odd, you'd think she would stop being mean to me if she knew what it was like to be bullied. I guess not, I turned my barriers on. Norma took a sigh of relief, "Thank you, Raz." Everyone was still laughing. 

"Sorry, for being mean, Norma." I pet her back and thought about what to say before I said it, "Uh." Honesty is the best policy when it comes to professional relationships, so I better shoot straight, "I just am still kinda upset about you snitching on me, and I don't like you as a person very much. And you are a jerk." I was floundering a bit but Lizzie flashed me a thumbs-up and nodded vigorously, so I guess I'm doing a good job, "But that's okay. I can be a jerk sometimes too. Just ask the squirrel population of Whispering Rock. I can't help but be myself, and you can't help but be yourself. But, just know that I'll accept you for who you are- even if I do want to shoot you from a cannon into the sun most of the time. I think you're a person worth knowing, Norma." Norma finally looked up from her shoes and gave me that "Sasha Nein" gaze that I returned with a smile. She rolled her eyes and gave me a smirk- good, we are making progress! I gave her another pat on the back, "But if you ever snitch on me or anyone else here: I will personally rip your astral body out of your head and condemn you to an eternity in a tesseract torture cube constructed from the accumulated weight of your karmic sins." 

"TPT issue number 56." Adam's eyes widened, " The Mad Monk's Cube… I had my theories…" He quickly broke levitation and went up to me, "We need to go to the Artifact Room! We might be able to break Agent Pompano out from her prison!" Oh snap , I didn't even think of that! 

Adam and I stopped giggling when Agent Nein's voice erupted in our brains, || Adam . Raz. No torture cubes… Without supervision. We will sort Agent Pompano out on a future date.||

"Okay, okay." Norma sighed, "I'll try to play nice, just promise me that you two dorks will stop talking about comic books ." Norma massaged her temples and sighed, Adam laughed and levitated into the van with a shrug, "And I also promise that I won't snitch anymore-" She shot Lizzie an accusatory look, "But it goes both ways . If I'm not snitching on anyone that means no one is allowed to snitch on me… This includes running to Mommy and Daddy when N-Norma is being m-meaaaan. " Lizzie rolled her eyes and threw her hands up. 

"Alright, that was a fun and tender character moment , or whatever." Gisu checked wiped grease off her wrist watch to check the time, "But Otto should be here in a couple of minutes, so let's wrap it up." With ease she TK'ed the Feel Mobile's engine block out of the hood of the van and threw it in the Throw Out pile. 

"Man, I've been saying for minutes that I could just levitate this baby- no prob," Morris slapped on the bumper and it fell off, Gisu shot him a dirty look as he sheepishly TK'ed it back on, "And Adam might have a license, I'm pretty sure he's 16." 

"Almost 17." Adam emerged from the van and emptied out the rest of the expired soda into the puke bucket, "But I don't have a license, we can levitate remember? What's so good about a license when you can levitate?"

"You can't make out in the back of a thought bubble, Junior." A raspy voice rang out, Agent Cruller and Nona are here now, guess all the hullabaloo got them to mosey on over, "I mean you probably could … Technically ." To my horror I saw Nona whisper something into Ford's ear, "Oh. Yeah, that could work… Hm…" 

"Seriously?" Sam shot up awake, " This is what I wake up to?" She looked around and the look of disgust on her face grew deeper, "And why are all of you covered in vomit!" She threw her hands up and groaned, " I always miss the fun parts…" 

Chapter Text

"Yeah, I wasn't really going to ask at first-" Morris shuddered, "Not really a fan of vomit, but I guess I'm a little curious too." 

The rest of the Junior Agents besides me started having a telepathic conversation, that or they were just staring at each other like a bunch of weirdos. I would've invited myself in but I'm having complications with telepathy today, might need to go a round in the brain tumbler to sort it out. It sort of reminds me of when the whole caravan would come together and have a group dinner, all the adults sitting together on one big-ass table jabbering about "adult stuff" like Gas Prices and Today's Youth and The Weather . I would feel left out if they were talking about anything worthwhile- and I was there (technically) while it was all happening so I doubt I'm missing out. 

Plus, I had more important stuff to deal with right now. 

"How are you, Nona? Is everything okay?" I quickly TK'ed a bean bag chair from Bob and Fulbear's Definitely Keep pile and beat the dust off of it before taking Nona's hand and helping her take a seat, "Do you have on enough layers? Are you cold?". I quickly built a campfire for her and stood at attention. Nona is a bit more lucid now that she has her memories back, but that won't stop me from trying to be the best grandson I can be- even though she gets my name wrong 99 percent of the time. 

"Pootie," Nona sighed, "You aren't wearing your jacket…", She shook her head, "I thought we raised you to have more sense than this, you will catch a cold… " She quickly untied the soaked green sweater from my waist and got Ford's attention, " Darling , you wouldn't mind if my grandson borrowed some of the old clothes you have lying around, right ?" She asked sweetly. 

"Oh," Ford scratched his head, "Er, sure thing, Lucy." Ford raised an eyebrow and TK'ed a green suitcase lying in Bob and Fulbear's Not Ours pile and opened it up in front of her, he shot me a look, "Now, I know my old get-up might be not to your… hip and youthful sensibilities- but I'll have you know that it was mighty popular with the ladies way back when…" Ford took a deep breath and bent down to look me in the eyes, "Raz, are you sure you're ready for the implied responsibilities? The sheer weight of my fly-as-hell duds?" 

Oh, God. He's talking about his Vision costume. "Uh. Sure. Just promise me you won't get mad if it gets dirty, I'm still in the process of cleaning 20 years of filth out from the Feel Mobile-" I gave him a smirk, "Bob and Fulbear are giving us the keys, can't wait to get behind the wheel- do some donuts in the QA parking lot." 

Ford quickly took my shoulders and shook them, his eyes misty, "Ahhh, finally . Someone brave enough to step out of my shadow and into my footsteps. That little Sasha always tried his hardest, but never managed to outpace me. But, you . Razputin. " Ford prodded my chest and gripped my undershirt to bring me closer, "You've got it . It's you . Always was you ." I was kind of hoping this moment would be cooler, maybe in the sanctum or at least with me not smelling like a skun- "Only you have the sheer gumption, the power, the drive to fill my size 11's. Only you can be my successor-

"You have the potential to be the greatest-" Ford held a fist to his chest and shot it in the air, " JANITOR! " 

I TK'ed his hand off me, "Ford." I sighed, "I don't want to be a janitor. I want to be a Psychonaut." 

Ford simply laughed and shook his head, "I remember being like you: young. Confused. Unsure whether or not to answer the call." Nona began taking my measurements and I stood with my hands out in a T-pose, I rolled my eyes, "But, Raz. The call. That drive. Each speck of dust and puddle of piss, each aberrant molecule of grime that threatens to upend the balance of the universe. With each push of the broom we as a species get closer and closer to achieving something more than enlightenment -" Ford raised his eyebrow and smirked, " Cleanliness . They say it's next to Godliness . But let me ask you something: if God was real then why don't he ever turn on a got-dang vacuum? That golden throne up in the heavens?" Ford shook his head and smiled, "That empty throne is ours to polish ." 

Sometimes I wonder if Ford is trying to teach me things in some roundabout way, like if sweeping up dessicated rat corpses can someone translate into training me to use telekinesis better or something. I think he's just kinda weird, which is fine- I'm from the circus. But I guess there is no problem with humoring him. I just sighed and rolled my eyes, a neutral appeasement signal. 

That proved to be the wrong decision, Nona whipped the side of my head with the measuring tape, "No." Nona shook her head, "I'll not have any of my grandchildren be a janitor. If Pootie is destined to be anything but a ringmaster than he will be one of your little Psychonaut's ." Nona shook her head and smiled at me, "Back in Grulovia, before the war. Our people held circus performers with much reverence. We were much like the movie picture stars of your generation. There were different schools, universities that studied the Art of Falling. We were revered as stars ." She beckoned me forward and I stepped closer, taking off my helmet she stared at her reflection in the goggles, " I remember. This helmet was once mine." I didn't know that, "Ha! When I was your age my sister and I performed an act, we made paper mache planes and acted out dog fights to thunderous applause," Her voice grew bitter and quiet, "But looking back- it was all just propaganda …" She looked at me, her eyes playing a lifetime of memories reflecting from the back of her skull, "It pains me to say this- but Raz … you are a warrior ." She handed me back the helmet, "But do not forget who you are: a performer . You must protect the people's smiles. " 

I held in my hands an artifact of a bygone era, but for some odd reason I felt as though it all happened yesterday. People still need saving, and smiles still need protecting. Sometimes I wonder if it'll ever stop, if our work as a Psychonaut will blink into antiquity. Maybe a younger me would feel anxious about not being needed, but the me I am today wants nothing more than that. A peaceful tomorrow. "I promise, Nona." 

"Good," Nona smiled and took the helmet from my hands and placed it on my head, "I wasn't giving you a choice anyways!" Nona laughed, "I have always wondered how you are able to hear with this helmet on- they block out so much sound. Ah, it must be nice to be young…" 

Honestly, I kind of feel overwhelmed without the helmet on. I like to think of it as a bulletproof vest- but for my mind. "It has its ups and downs, Nona" I smirked, "But I am making the most out of my… uh, youth." 

"That's wonderful to hear, my little Dion!" She cooed, I rolled my eyes, she quickly turned her attention to my fellow agents, "Now, Lizzie, Norma. Could you come here please?" 

The group of Agents completely broke telepathy and stood at attention. Lizzie was the first to respond, "Er, yes, Miss Raz's-Grandma." She gave an incredibly awkward bow and walked over to us. I am glad that Lizzie is trying to be nice and polite, but she is very bad at it. I would honestly prefer it if she didn't bother, she's my grandma anyways. 

"Of course, Nona. How may I be of assistance?" Norma gave a sly smile and approached us with her hands held in front of her in a subservient manner. Norma has the opposite problem of Lizzie and is weirdly polite towards Nona. I am glad she humors Nona, but she is my Nona. Not her's. She can get her own. Also, I think it's kinda weird how Norma tries to get on the good side of all my family members. Norma walked forward and stood in front of me, blocking my view of Nona. 

"Please boil some water for me, little Norma." Norma gave a curtsey and floated away, "And you, little Lizzie." Lizzie shifted uncomfortably, "Give me your hands." Lizzie jumped and slowly lifted her arms, Nona softly took her hands and held her palms up, "Hmm. Yes. The hands of a hardworking maiden." Nona gave a satisfied nod, "You will make someone very happy one day, I can see it." Lizzie opened her eyes in fear, her soul almost leaving her body, she could only open her mouth and close it, "I have seen that you have domain . Over water. This is rare. Back in Grulovia this power, and its users, were heavily sought after. The power to make rain, other cultures from all over the world- they revered this power. And sometimes feared it."

Oh crap. Is Lizzie going to be taught a lesson in hydrokinesis by Maligula ?! I looked around and saw the other Agents paying close attention. 

"Y-yes. Miss-Raz's-Grandma." Lizzie squinted her eyes and tapped her foot uncomfortably, "Uh, I have been told that it's, like, pretty rare." Norma arrived with two pails of clean water and stood to the side, her smile twisted upwards when she saw Lizzie in the hot seat.

Nona TK'ed a metal pail over the campfire to let it boil, "In ancient and primal times there were some communities that waged war over this power. Civilizations rose and fell by the whims of those who had domain over the clouds, over the streams and rivers, and the water underground- the lifeblood coursing through our mother earth." Nona shook her head and released Lizzie's hands, "But today, I am told we live in a civilized age. I do not see this world others dream of: it seems that little has changed. But perhaps my eyes have grown dull with age," Ford sighed and patted her shoulder, she took his hand and squeezed, "Our powers are ones that aren't needed anymore, and definitely not wanted. But still, we exist. Perhaps out of defiance. Perhaps… just cuz …" Nona laughed and got up, "You have something dangerous. Something that others lack. You should know better than anyone that there are people who do not see you, just your potential." 

Lizzie blinked and nodded. Nona smiled and TK'ed flowers from the ground around her, floating them up above the boiling pot. We watched as Nona caused the flowers to wilt and dry instantaneously, any moisture from them dripping into the pail. "Come, take a deep breath. The flower oils will soothe tension." Lizzie went to the bubbling pot, it was odd to see her nervous for once but she slapped her cheeks as hard as she could and took a deep sniff, "Carefull!" Nona laughed, Lizzie almost tripped but caught herself, "Now, I would like to teach you a secret."  

I heard a collective gasp, Lizzie gave a single courageous nod, "Lay it on me, Miss-Raz's-Grandma." She cracked her neck and fell into her Battle Position, a hand on her temple. 

Nona clapped her hands and smiled, "Today I will teach you how to steam-clean clothes!" 

The light in Lizzie's eyes completely went out. 

Norma pursed her lips, I didn't need to use telepathy to know that she was beside herself with laughter. I don't blame her, this is pretty hilarious. Norma quickly walked up and held up Lizzie as a stray gust of wind blew in and caused her to lose her footing, "Don't worry, Nona. I'll make sure my little sister pays close attention!" 

"Ha." Nona had a twinkle in her eye, "You two remind me of Marona and I when we were your age. Sibling rivalry is the highest form of affection in Grulovian families." She nodded her head, "Now, pay close attention." 

She quickly got out the old Vision jacket and started showing the two Natividad's how to steam clean clothes. I'd pay attention but I kiiiiiiinda don't care. Ford walked over to where Bob and Helmut were fighting over whether or not to keep a collection of novelty coffee mugs. I shrugged my shoulders and went back to the other Agents. 

"So, Gisu over here told me that you've been having some problems with telepathy," Morris floated up to my head and slapped my helmet, "Is that weird-ass hat you got on the problem? Does it boost your ESP or something? If so- that's pretty dope." 

"I think the hat is pretty cool," Sam joined in to slap my head like it was a bongo, "The goggles ensure that you don't get stuff in your eyes, I should get a cool pair of goggles too!" 

"I'm more worried about people scooping my eyes out of my sockets than anything else." Everyone contemplated that and nodded their heads, Gisu joined in on slapping my head, "Honestly, the helmet gets in the way of my hearing and sight. I've kinda been using it as, like, resistance training, I guess. I didn't have a whole lot of time to practice using my powers at a young age cuz of my acrobatics training. So I just always had the thing on since I was 7 or so and relied on my sixth sense to boost my other senses." 

Adam ripped the helmet off of my head, "Oi, what?" Everyone else continued slapping my head and I put up a psychic shield, "You're telling me that you've been training your ESP non-stop for years ?" I nodded, everyone else started slapping everywhere else on my person to see if I had an opening, "How are you still in a right mind? How the hell are you not, like, bonkers?" He took his hat off and threw on my helmet, " I can't hear anything!" He quickly squinted his eyes and held a hand to his temples, "My man. This is insane." 

"It takes a little while to get used to," the other Agents figured out that I didn't have any blindspots but realized that hitting me in different places gave out different tones, "What I do is, uh, throw my ears out. It's hard to explain. I imagine a bubble 50 feet in radius and that's my ears . I can hear pretty much everything within that radius, anything father than that I have a hard time pinpointing exactly where a noise is coming from. It helps a lot on the trapeze when sweat gets in my eyes, I basically know where the bars are from their tiny vibrations." 

"Raz, that is bananas ." Gisu stopped playing chopsticks on my astral shield, "Just use your ears or something. All the mental stress is gonna wring out your brain." 

"I mean, what's so important about hearing anyways?" Sam placed her hands on her hips, "It's all the same stuff: Gas Prices, Today's Youth, The Weather …" She shrugged her shoulders and continued slapping me, "I'd rather go blind or whatever. Also: how is your weird shield thing so strong?"

"Oh, I was kinda worried that I was getting rusty. Didn't have permission to use it yesterday because Forsythe didn't see my credentials as… legitimate ," I shrugged my shoulders, "Woulda been nice to have Milla and Sasha back me up, but in Forsythe's defence I did only learn how to use all my powers, like, the day before." 

"What." Morris stopped slapping my shield, "Huh." He looked at the other Agents who just shrugged, "I'd be soooo pissed off at you if I weren't so impressed and proud." 

Adam placed the helmet back on my head, "Yeah, you've got beaucoup talent. But still-" He shook his head, "You gotta learn how to turn that off once in a while. I know you've had a lot thrown at you in the last couple of days, but you gotta trust that we have your back." 

I nodded, "Thanks guys…" I scratched my head and tried to dull my ESP, "Uhhhh, h- how do I turn it off?" 

"What?" Gisu asked, "Raz, your eye is twitching." 

"Huh?" I felt my face, and yeah, my eye is twitching, "Is that good? Let me try harder." I closed my eyes, maybe retreating within myself will in turn close my third eye. 

"Okay, no." Sam snapped her fingers and I opened my eyes, "You're doing the opposite of… whatever it is your trying to do. You're like, glowing green and yellow. Pretty sure that's not good." 

"So what is it I'm supposed to do?" I asked, I took a seat on the van and threw my goggles on and concentrated hard. 

"Okay, Raz." Morris tore my goggles off, "Listen to Sam. Whatever your doing: do the opposite of it. I think your trying to cut off your other senses besides ESP," Morris looked around and everyone just shrugged, "How about you just smell through your nose, and, like, listen with your ears. Don't think, just feel. Or maybe think about feeling? I don't know, just don't do what you're not supposed to do. Or something. Man. It's like teaching someone to breathe or something..."

Oh yeah, I should just focus on my other five senses. Maybe I should of payed more attention in Fulbear's mind, but it was kinda overstimulating. 

I took the helmet off and held it in my hands. Taking deep breaths I closed my eyes and focused on my hearing. Ford and Fulbear were shooting psi-blasts at coffee mugs Bob TK'ed into the air. Norma and Lizzie listened patiently as Nona taught Lizzie how to hyper condense steam particles. A group of bees buzzed by. I could try to make out what everyone was saying, but Sam's words echoed in my mind: it's all the same stuff.  

I slowly opened my eyes and saw an angel.

"Guys," I gave a smug smile and casually cracked my knuckles, " Not to brag or anything , but I'm pretty sure I reached enlightenment," I pointed in front of me, "You can't see it cuz I'm vibrating on a much more advanced level than you, but I have- thanks to your advice, reached astral awakening. And now a semi-corporeal being of pure beauty and love has manifested itself before me." I got up and gave them a bow, "I'll see you nerds later. Let's blow this popsicle stand, angel lady" I took the beings hand, "Huh, you're much more fleshy than I imag-" 

The angel punched my shoulder, "Do not call your girlfriend fleshy ." Hm, perhaps this is a lesson, I listened intently for more wisdom, "Okay, quit it with that pensive look bullcrap," She slapped my hand down from my face that I was cradling in a pensive manner, the angel is probably right- there probably is no rhyme or reason to telegraph my thoughts physically to this ethereal figure, I reached out on the astral plane and surrendered myself to it, " R-Raz! " The angel was furious with me, I ceased my foolish acts, perhaps I am not ready, "It's me, Lili! Not some being or whatever! You freakin' dork !" 

Gisu placed a hand on my shoulder, "We are never going to let you live this down." Adam, Sam, and Morris nodded in agreement.

I sighed, "Sorry about that, Lili. I- I didn't mean to embarrass you. Everyone is helping me out, I've been having problems since my brain has been on the edge for the last couple of days," Lili looked pretty embarrassed, and I can't even imagine how I look right now, "I guess I got a little too relaxed." 

Lili rolled her eyes and coughed, "I mean, I'm not, like, upset with you thinking I'm an angel or something…" She grumbled, ||Just, like, keep it between us. Dork. We can talk telepathically , my mind is always open to you.|| 

I cleared my throat and looked around. It was painfully obvious that everyone knew we were talking telepathically. I know I just got done figuring out how to chill but I kinda feel like I'm on the hot seat right now. I figured it would be best to use that Button Trick and used the friendship bracelet Lili gave me as a focus, ||Sorry, Lili. I've been having some trouble with telepathy lately. I, uh, have been blasting my inner-dialog non-stop as soon as I open up for TP. Wait… nobody else can hear me, right?|| I looked around and didn't see a response from any potential easedroppers. 

||Dude. Okay. This is crazy. It's like your voice is taking over my whole being.|| Lili shut her eyes and grimaced. 

Yikes. "Oh, snap! Sorry, Lili! I didn-" 

"Calm, down, Raz" Lili sighed and socked my shoulder, "It was just kinda weird, we'll work something out later. You should probably ask Sasha for some help over the telepathy stuff." She nervously gripped her arm and looked to the side, "It kinda worries me…" 

"Huh," Sam walked towards me, "Lemme take a crack at him," She quickly started giving me a noogie, "Telepathy is my specialty ." 

"Yeah, with animals, Sam." Adam shook his head, a loud crash was heard, "Uh, I'm gonna check on Norma and Lizzie…" He walked off. 

"What is the noogie for?" I asked through gritted teeth. 

"Gotta soften you up first," Sam casually explained, "It's like Telepathy 101…" She stopped and I gave out a sigh of relief, that immediately turned into a yelp of pain, "Dude. Your head is like super tense." She was slapping it again, "Gisu, feel this-" Gisu immediately went up and started slapping my head too, "Is a skull supposed to be this hard?" 

"Uh, yeah." Gisu shrugged her shoulders but continued slapping, "It's bone. I'm pretty sure all skulls are this hard." 

Sam stopped and squinted her eyes, "Huh." She slapped her head, "Oh snap , your right! " She shrugged her shoulders, "I guess my methods aren't going to help after all, Raz. Better off asking someone else for help." 

"Thanks for trying guys," I sighed, I took out two psi-pops from my satchel and offered one to Lili, she shook her head and I shoved both in my mouth, "I guess I'll sort it out as soon as we're done he-" 

An even larger crash was heard and we all scampered out to see what the commotion. 

"Ahhhh, now this brings back memories," Nona wistfully sighed, "Those two girls are the splitting image of Merona and I!" 

"Today is the day you die, you vindictive bitch !" Lizzie screamed from atop a smoking tree cleaved in half, she sent out a razor-sharp disc of ice aimed right at Lizzie who looked down at her from a taller tree. 

"Ah, kids!" Ford smiled and waved away out concerns, "Don't worry, y'all. I'm just letting them cool off . I was a teen too, ya know…" He shuddered, " Hormones… " 

Norma casually side stepped to the left and dodged the ice disk, "Now, Lizzie. You don't mean that…" She grabbed hold of a thought bubble and drifted wistfully in the sky, "If you kill me who would change your diapers?" , Lizzie slit her eyes and TK'd the branch in a swing towards Norma who casually lifted her arm and used a concentrated pyrokenetic blast to divide the branch in two, ruining its trajectory, "You're always the one running to Mommy and Daddy whenever we fight. But, Lizzie, Mommy and Daddy aren't here now. Who are you going to run to when the inevitable happens? When I beat you, again ." 

"So are they always like this?" I asked, "I don't remember them being this heated yesterday." 

Adam sighed, "That's because they had you to pick on, Raz. And now that you're they're friend they lost that common… er, enemy? Focus? Is that the right word?" He looked at the other Junior agents who just shrugged, "Yeah, focus. So now they are back on their bullshit." Adam took a seat on a thought bubble and reclined with his hands behind his head, "Just- learn to enjoy the show." 

"Ohhhhhh. Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Norma." Norma set the now divided branch on fire and hurtled it towards Lizzie who blocked it with a sheet of thick ice, "Nobody likes you. Don't try to play the innocent card. Everyone can see through your bullshit. You two-faced bitch!" The ice melted into steam and the two branches impaled themselves into the side of a tree from the sheer force of Norma's telekinesis, Lizzie gathered the steam to make hundreds of long needle sized barbs, "Even the new kid doesn't even like you! And Raz is, like, the nicest kid on the planet! He spent HOURS petting goats yesterday!" That probably isn't true, but I guess I'll take it. Lizzie sent the needles flying towards Norma as she floated down onto the ground. 

"That's pretty freakin' rad," Gisu munched on some dream fluff and pointed at the two of them, "That icicle thing? Badass. Did Nona teach her that? Insane." Yeah it was pretty badass, I took a seat on a log and Lili joined me. 

"I don't need people to like me, Lizzie." Norma smiled and shook her head, just as the ice needles were about to skewer Norma she let the air errupt into fire, "I'm not like you . I don't put on some apathetic persona because I'm obsessed with other people thinking I'm soooo cooool ." Norma adjusted her glasses and let out a concentrated pyrokenetic blast to cut the tree Lizzie was standing on, "And who cares what Raz thinks? That's kind of a weird thing to bring up."

"Yeah, that is kinda weird…" Lili tugged one of the psi-pops from my mouth and threw it in hers, "I know Norma is, like, incapable of affection. But that just makes it weirder." 

"I mean," I sighed, "She did think I was the mole, and if I were in her shoes I'd probably make the same assumption. But maybe I'm only saying that now because we're cool now, kinda." 

Lizzie jumped off from the top of the falling tree and TK'ed it into a position where she could ride on it like a skateboard, "Oh, shut up. You're the one who read his freakin' diary and got all cozy with his family. You're the one obsessed and JEALOUS." She let loose a wave of ice to guide the trunk down, aiming right at Norma, "Sorry that SASHA found a mentee he actually liked ! Woooow, even the stoic Sasha Nein can't even handle you!"  

Ford let out a low whistle, "Whew. Remind me not to get into a fight with Lizzie." We all nodded in response, "I may not look like it, but I'm a pretty sensitive guy."

Norma just sighed and shook her head as the car sized branch came hurdling towards her, "I know you aren't the best at paying attention, but please, Lizzie-" Norma deftly levitated into the air and reached out to grab her little sisters neck, the kinetic force of the branch hurdling towards the ground did all the work for Norma and the grip on Lizzie's neck knocked the wind out of her, "Listen closely: I. Am. Not. Like. You." Lizzie gasped and snarled, she pulled back her fist and slammed it against Norma's face- luckily Norma caught it with her free hand, the sheer force of the psychic weight Lizzie put into the punch knocked Norma's glasses off her face, "Oh, Lizzie. Did you just try and Do A Hit? What if Mommy and Daddy were here?" 

Lizzie's eyes widened and Norma released her sister, "I'm sorry, Norma. You just got really under my ski-" 

Norma gave her sister a hug, "I know. I'm really good at it." She released Lizzie and retrieved her glasses and casually walked towards us, "Sorry for the show, guys." 

"No, seriously," Lizzie looked actually apologetic for once, "Norma, I'm sorry about the Sasha thi-" 

"Don't apologize if you don't mean it." Norma didn't bother turning around before approaching Nona, "I am sorry for the crude display, Nona. My sister and I have a habit of butting heads every once in a while." 

Lizzie and Norma stood in front of Nona who just shook her head, "No! No! It was all just good bonding! I can tell from your eyes that you both hold each other very close to your hearts, but Norma," Nona's voice grew somber and she gently grabbed her hand, "Words are just words. Sometimes people say things in the heat of the moment that they do not mean. Please take it from me," She grasped one of Lizzie's hands and gave both of the sisters a tight squeeze, "You only have one sister." 

The two of them were silent for a while before giving a single nod. 

"Okay, so that's like 5 or 6 tender character moments…" Gisu checked her watch again, " Seriously? Where the heck is Otto? It's been even more minut- " 

A large shadow blotted out the sky. We all looked up and were greeted with the sight of a large luxury megayacht about half the size of the Motherlobe floating up in the air. 

" Hey, sorry about the hold up you guys!" Otto's voice erupted from a loudspeaker, "Had some trouble figuring out how to use the coffee machine on this dang thing. Cost me a couple of minutes."

Chapter Text

" SO DID YOU BRING THE STUFF FOR THE FEEL MOBILE OR NOT?" Gisu cupped her hands around her mouth and screamed up at the huge-ass boat. 

The overall industrial design of the ship is very reminiscent of The Pelican, long sweeping lines that evoked feelings of wanderlust but still recognizable as a boat. It floated up wistfully in the sky, a psitanium rudder hummed and emitted a purple aura that illuminated the psychedelic turquoise pattern painted on the keel. 

"Dude, this is the coolest thing I have ever seen with my two eyeballs." Morris whispered to himself, "God DAMN IT , I shoulda brought, like, a cool captains hat or something." 

All of us besides Gisu squinted our eyes and looked at each other, Adam spoke up first, "Okay, whoever finds a cool captain hat first gets dibs, if we all got matching hats that would be lame as all hell and ruin our silhouettes. We have to think about stuff like that now that we are a team, this is like day-one stuff." Adam finished with a nod that the rest of the Junior Agents returned. 

"I think I'll stick with the helmet," I shrugged my shoulders, "I mean, it's a flying ship so the aviator theme still fits." 

"Pfft," Sam scoffed, "I'll agree with you about the aviator theme, but the color scheme is all off… maybe change the lenses to turquoise or purple?" I nodded, she's making a good point. 

"But then we'd all be wearing matching colors…" Norma shook her head, "We aren't some two-bit troupe of comic book characters or something, we are super-spies ." 

"You're just saying that because you look like hot garbage in anything white," Lizzie shook her head and whispered loud enough so everyone could still hear her, "It's her posture…"  

"Okay, everyone shut up." Gisu snapped and went back to yelling at the ship, "OTTO I SWEAR TO GOD, THIS WAS JUST SUPPOSED TO BE A SHORT ACTIVITY . I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR MIN-"  

"Sorry, folks! Er, I'm having some trouble with the microphone on this thing so I'm only picking up the wind. Probably should've workshopped this ahead of time, but I was running a tad late with the ol' bean machine." Otto chuckled through the loudspeakers, the local fauna evacuated the area and pine needles shook off of trees, "Let me see here… gonna fiddle with this a little bit. Uh, I assume you guys are talking about how cool the ship is- Thanks! Now that we got the band back together I figured it was high-time I do something with all that retirement money and investments I had lying around. This boat is sort of like my nest-egg! Aaaand me and the ol' 7 can pick up Helmut's body in style ." 

"Maaaaan," Morris looked around, "I gotta start throwing money into an IRA or something." 

"Yeah," I nodded, I've heard a lot of adults talk about this kind of stuff, "Just make sure to steer clear from mutual funds." 

"Nobody here is that dumb, Raz," Lili rolled her eyes, "Investment grade bonds are the only way to go if you really want to retire by the time you start getting AARP benefits." 

I furrowed my brow and grimaced, "Listen, Lili. Not everyone has access to that kind of capital, our dads aren't the Grand Head of an international spy organization." 

"I'm just thinking about ou- the future, Raz!" Lili grumbled, "And I can easily throw something up for the rest of us, I'll get my dad to handle how to invest it al-" 

"Okay, but then that would still be a mutual fund," Morris scratched his head, "But I guess it'd be a little bit different since we are all cowork-"

"What the hell are you guys even talking about!" Lizzie shouted, "What the fuck is a eye-aray? Some kind of psi-attack?" 

Norma rolled her eyes, "Looks like someone didn't read the Junior Agent's benefit guidebook. Don't worry I signed us up for the deferred Roth and got us off of mom and dad's Healthcare since our benefits would be chea-" 

"Alright I got Closed Captioning… hold on, my French is a little rusty. What was that, Gisu?" Gisu started screaming again, "Hmm. My French is way more rustier than I thought. But I'll just assume you're wondering about the amenities- and yes there is a hot tub! Also a large movie theater and entertainment center!" An entertainment center ?! A center for entertainment? That's so cool, but from the blood vessel on Gisu's forhead she seems more frustrated than impressed.

||GET DOWN HERE, OTTO!|| Gisu yelled, but telepathically. 

Adam pulled out an attaché case and retrieved the spiral-bound benefits guidebook, "Yeah, I'm not keeping up with this conversation at all…" He squinted at some words after flipping the book open, "You guys are paying union dues too, right?" 

Lili scoffed, "You better . The Psychic Workers Union are the true unsung heroes of the Psychonauts, the ones fighting for pay grade rises and more equitable benefit programs! Without them we wouldn't even have maternity leave! " Adam pursed his lips and nodded. 

"Okay, hold up. I'm confused also…" Sam admitted. 

Lizzie's face lit up and she gave an exasperated sigh, "See, someone normal . Jeez, why the heck do you guys even care about any of that stuff? I'm just glad we are finally getting paid!" 

"No," Sam shook her head, "Why would you put that much stock into retirement plans and not physical assets?" 

"Uh, because it's crud like that that is heading us straight to a housing crisis?!" Lily threw her hands into the air. At this point I have no idea what we are talking about, so I just threw out a fingergun and mouthed exactly . Morris smirked and bobbed his head left-to-right as if to say That's a good point . Norma just scratched her head and fixed her glasses. 

"No, I don't want to be a landlord or anything!" Sam sighed, "I just think it'd be cool if I could start a bed and breakfast or something. Make flapjacks for tourists- people would pay money for a pancake made by a possum!" 

"They'd also probably get chagas disease…" Morris squirmed in his seat, "Get a good lawyer." 

"Okay, huh? " Ford walked forward and approached the group, "What in tarnation are y'all talking about? Retirement plans? Beds in breakfast ? That's just messy- You are kids . It pains me to see you children havin' all these assorted anxieties about the future- we are Psychonauts , remember? We shape the future!" 

"It's attitudes like that that got us into this mess, Ford." Lili shook her head. 

"Yeah, maybe back when you were a kid you could buy a house with a nickel but times have changed," I had to agree with Lili, "And that's not even talking about college . I'm homeschooled so I doubt that's going to net me any plusses with admission offices. And I can count scholarships out the window, academic or athletic!" 

"Raz. I was feeling kinda bad at first," Ford sighed and chuckled, "But now I don't, Universities are for nerds . You are not a nerd, you are my protégé . And last time I checked there was no Janitorial Degree." 

Norma pushed up her glasses and cleared her throat, " Actually, there is some possibility of some colleges or trade schools offering certification for janitorial duties. Or Raz could pursue a degree in chemical engineering in order to better understand and refine the cleaning supplies janitors utilize for their works." At first I thought Norma was being Norma again but a quick glance from behind her glasses and a tight lipped smile made it seem like she thought she was helping me. Maybe what Lizzie said actually did get to her. 

"Hmmm." Ford nodded, "Yes, Raz. You will go to college. I'll talk to Truman and the other 6 to see if we can get you a recommendation to the most premier Janitorial Univer-" 

"Ford. For the last time." I sighed, this is probably not going to be the last time, "I. Do. Not. Wanna. Be. A. Janitor."

A honk was heard and we looked up. A smaller watercraft, this one a simple white sailboat, sailed or flew towards us (it's hard to keep track of things). It had a single purple transparent sail that billowed outward with the wind. Otto waved from the ship's wheel,  "Land ho! Is that what they say? Either way- hey, how are you guys fairing this morning?" It's still morning? I checked my watch only to remember that I do not actually own a watch. 

"Hey, Gisu. What time is-"

"OTTO DID YOU BRING THE ENGINE BLOCK OR NOT?" It seems like Gisu has other things in her mind right now. Gisu has kind of a one-track mind. She's usually pretty chill, and isn't afraid to put things on the back-burner or tell me to do them for her. But once she finds something she really wants to get she gets kinda antsy and single-minded about it. 

"Please, Gisu…" Otto stopped the sailboat in front of us and turned the engine off, "It's up in the S.S. Ataraxis- that's the name of the bigger shiiii-" Otto's voice turned into a yelp as the ship tilted to the side, he immediately started the ship back up and messed with the controls to get it balanced, "-ip. Ahem, excuse me. I've never been much of a seaman myself, and I know they say old dogs can't learn new tricks- but I'm more of a cat person." He pulled the parking break with a grimace and levitated himself to the ground, "So, Ford- whatdayathink?" 

"Why- this is the coolest thing I've ever seen in my years as a Psychonaut!" Ford exclaimed, he turned around to wave a finger at us Junior Agents, "And I have seen loads , hot steaming loads of cool things!" We grimaced before he ran up to Otto and gave him a handshake. Bob, Fulbear, Ford, Nona, and Otto started talking amongst themselves. 

"Adam," Gisu sighed, "Could you do me a Flava and get that van on the boat?" 

"Sure thing, Gis'" Adam casually lifted the 6 ton van onto the sailboat. "Alright, let's get this thing strapped for transport. I don't feel too comfortable keeping this thing steady while moving, don't have my sea-legs- or, er, sky-legs ?" Lizzie shrugged her shoulders and was the first to jump aboard. 

Lili hopped on board and I ran over to the side of the boat and stopped when I realized that this was a boat. As in a vehicle that is used in water. "Raz. Come on." Lili's voice came from up above but I found myself unable to lift my head up, "Do you need some help?" Boats go on water, and I know that the curse was made up, but I mean- boats go on water and I'm supposed to stay away from water , "Okay, Raz? This is a sky boat. Or something. Is this about your thing with water?" Nona said I'm not supposed to get near the water, I looked at Nona and she waved at me, a signal probably- to tell me to not get on the boat, "Okay, Raz, you're shaking. I'm going to lift you up onto the boat. If you need some time, uh- say something." It's a sky boat but clouds are made of water, what if we sail through a cloud, "Alright, I'm lifting you up." 

I felt Lili TK me up from the collar and she placed me on board, I immediately dropped on all fours and scrambled to the edge to look down, "Whew, still dirt!" I stood up and smiled, "Guys! It's still dirt! Not water!" 

"Yes, Raz, sweetie!" Milla Vodello is here, she was wearing a sundress and had a floppy hat on, cool, "Good on you, Razputin! Conquer your fears!" 

I got a hold of the guardrail and stood up, "Yeah. Yeah! Who cares if it's a boat!" I screamed over the rail, "And if it was over water who cares!" I felt Lili's hand pat me behind my back, "And if it was water- who cares if I drown! It's my destiny anyways! " Lili stopped patting my back for some reason. 

"Agent Aquato," I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around, Sasha Nein stood next to Milla, he cleared his throat, "Please- show some restraint. I understand that you have spent the last 10 years of your life terrified of water-" 

I did a backflip and landed on the guardrail, "Terrified no more! " It all made so much sense now, "The curse wasn't real, and even if it was- who cares! I learned how to walk on a tightrope and I spent my whole life afraid-" I cartwheeled atop the rail a full circle to the applause of my new teammates, "Of what? Drowning? Well, that stops now!" I made it back to my original place and did a handstand, "I, Razputin Aquato, am no longer afraid of anything!" I flipped back on the deck and rushed to Lili, "Thanks for giving me that final push , Lili!" 

I went in for a hug and she motioned me to stop, right, I should know better- boundaries, "Raz. I'm glad you aren't crazy about water anymore but uh," She motioned her hands towards me, " This is probably not really the way to go about sorting out your deep seated trauma." 

"Sorry about going for a hug," I scratched the back of my head, "I should've asked first, that wasn't cool of m-" 

"No! Quit changing the-" Lili thought for a second and took a breath, "The hug was, er, well yeah, don't just hug me out of the blue. I'm not that comfortable with making PDA a habit. At least use telepath-" She gripped her head in frustration, "Argh! Okay, I am talking about your weird daredevil thing you've got going on! You aren't allowed to drown! I forbid it!" Man, what? She can't just forbid me! Lili isn't my mom! She doesn't even look like my mom. That much.

"Wait," Sam said from atop the van, "I thought being a death-defying circus boy who wore cool goggles was Raz's whole deal? You can't just take that away from him! Then he'd just be a boy with cool goggles who happens to be from a circus!" 

"Sam!" Lizzie shouted out of view behind the van, "Get. Off. Of. The. Straps." Sam jumped off one glowing purple strap to another. 

"You have red hair, Lili! My mom has brown hair!" I don't really like the idea of losing my cool but I feel like we are going to have this fight anyways, "And I can choose my destiny! I'm my own boy! If I want to defy death I'll do it!" I know I'm throwing a tantrum over something small, but it's better to just air these things out. I quickly went over to the van to help Norma out with the straps. 

Lili followed me over to the van and placed her hands on her hips, "Oh. No. You. Don't. Aquato . Listen, if I'm gonna be your girlfriend then there has to be some rules!" I sighed and tightened up the ratchet strap since Norma was having trouble feeding the strap through, I looked at Lili and nodded, "You can't just go around and look for death and danger. I know we have occupational hazards and all that, but don't go around talking about who would care if you drowned - because I would. I would care- " She gripped my shoulders and pressed her forehead against mine and spoke through gritted teeth, "A LOT!"  

"Er. Yes. We are glad," Norma motioned to herself and the other Junior Agents, "That you are over your little water problem , but please don't get yourself killed. Because we," Norma squinted her eyes and spoke with a grimace, her words leaving a pretty nasty taste in her mouth, " Care about you ," She looked at the other Agents, "Is- is that how you say that?" The other Agents gave her a thumbs up. 

"Alright," I stopped working to look Lili in the eyes, "I promise not to seek death and make sure to keep my capabilities as a Psychonaut in mind." But now it was my turn, "Can you promise me to not hesitate to let me know if something is bothering you? Or if there is anything I can do for you? Is that fair?" I know I'm asking a lot here, but I at least want to get my foot in the door.

Lili slit her eyes and threw her hands in the air, " Fine! " She was screaming but words are better than pyrokinesis, "I am glad we are having an open and honest dialog about OUR RELATIONSHIP! " She pulled her hand back to punch my shoulder but instead gave me a short hug. 

"Thanks." I gave a curt nod and went back to putting the straps on. Apparently the crew thought it'd be a good thing to run it over the van, I shook my head. I quickly TK'ed two straps through the front and rear axels and tightened them up accordingly. "Alright that should do it. Uh. Got a lot of experience doing this with the caravan." I looked around at everyone, "What do we do now?" 

"We wait for the adults to stop talking." Sasha Nein spoke up from a reclining rattan chair next to Milla on her own, he stole a glance to the side of the ship where the present members of the Psychic 7 were jabbering in a circle, "You have about 45 minutes of free time. Please use them accordingly." 

"Come here, children!" Milla TK'ed a large cooler up, "It is time for a snack break!" 

" Hooray !" We shouted unanimously. We hurried up to the turquoise cooler and stood in a single file line. Lili got there first after elbowing Lizzie in the nose, I'm in the very back behind Lizzie. I let her cut in front of me because I kinda felt bad. 

"So, uh," Lizzie held her nose and blinked away tears, she quickly cleared her throat and casually leaned on the rail, " Chicks, huh?"  

Ah. The fabled water-cooler talk . I feel as though I have been training my whole life for this moment. I put on my goggles. 

"Yeeeeep," I casually slid my hands in my pocket and ensured to keep my thumbs out, for maximum approachability , "Not that I have any place to talk, ha!" I gave a non-answer as I shook my head and sighed wistfully into the air, "Ahhh. But- hey! It's not all that bad. The helmet keeps my ears safe- they say that hearing damage is permanent!" 

We shared a hearty laugh, bearing our teeth. "Hahaha-" Lizzie stopped laughing and her face paled, "Wait. Whyarewedoingthis." 

"Hahaha!" I replied, Lizzie was right- this sucks, "Idontknow, quickchangethesubje-" 

"Ahhhh," Sam turned around and placed her hands on the guardrail, "Chicks. Boys." She stared into the middle distance for 3 seconds before turning her head to face us, arching her eyebrow with a smirk in order to evoke relatability , "I told myself Sammy, focus on yourself this summer. You know? You know what I'm saying?" She gestured vaguely in the wind, we did not know what she was saying but we nodded anyways, "It's like: What about Sammy? " We pursed our lips, tilted our heads, and nodded again, "Gotta take my me time, ya know? My Sammy time… " This is the part where I change the sub-, "What about you, Lizzie?" 

Lizzie looked uncomfortable, I probably also looked uncomfortable, she cleared her throat and said words, "Er…" She frowned and looked at me and I could only frown back, "I'm kinda with you , Sam. I like my Lizzie time. I, uh," She scratched the back of her head, "Don't really think I have the… emotional maturity for a relationship."

"Yeah, it's like I always say…" I interrupted, I had no idea what I always say, probably something stupid. Luckily the line moved up two spaces, I spotted Lili and Adam walking up and saw an out, "Oh, hey! What's on the menu today, guys?" Lizzie gave an audible sigh of relief. 

"Ah, Today's menu is a choice between open-faced roasted turkey sandwiches made by Milla- and for our vegetarian option," He held up an impossibly immaculate peanut butter and jelly sandwich, "J & PB sandwiches. Agent Nein says to eat it jelly-side up for the intended mouthfeel." 

"Mouthfeel is important," I nodded, "I find that food is half the flavor and half the experience. " My stomach emitted a large grumble, "Also I think the last real meal I ate that wasn't a psi-pop or dream fluff was roasted seagull. Like three days ago." 

"Okay." Lili took a deep breath through her nose and popped open her bottle of ESParilla on the guardrail and took a deep sip before continuing, "Raz. I would like for you to try and guess why I am upset with you right now." 

Crap, a pop quiz. "Er." I removed my goggles and squinted my eyes at Lili, "Seagulls… aren't…" I looked around for a hint but everyone looked at their wrists despite none of us owning watches, "Nutritious?"  

"Try again." Lili shook her head, usually when she is upset with me she yells but this time she is weirdly calm.

"Oh. Because it's been 3 days since I last ate a real meal." That's probably the answer since seagulls are pretty filling. 

"Yes, Raz." Lili nodded her head, "That is why I am very very upset with you. Promise me you will eat a real meal 3 times a day." 

I mean, I'm just one guy, don't know how I can eat 3 seagulls a day- but whatever makes her happy, "Sure." We moved forward a couple more spots in line, "Uh, maybe we can have dinner with my family? Invite your dad too?" I removed my helmet and scratched my head, "I'm sorry if that's weird, but it'd mean a lot to me." 

Lili took an aggressive bite from her open-faced sandwich, "Sure. That's perfect. I would love to meet your family. I'm sorry for sounding like I'm still pissed off- but that's because I am." Maybe she is just cranky because she is hungry. We moved forward again and it was finally my turn to pick my snacks. 

"Hello Mr. Junior Agent! Congratulations on your promotion!" Milla ruffled my hair and smiled, "Now, what would you like to eat?" 

"Milla. Raz told me he hasn't eaten anything but candy in the last 3 days." Lili called me out in front of Sasha and Milla, I cringed. 

"What. You beat Maligula on an empty stomach? " Sasha jumped up from his seat and almost spilled his glass of oddly shifting colorful liquid topped with a paper umbrella, he was wearing a short sleeved black and white button down decorated in palm trees and coconuts, "How?" 

"Raz. I am very upset with you." Milla actually did sound upset and I could only close my eyes in an embarrassed grimace, "Razputin Aquato, if I ever find out you went without eating again I will personally… " Milla looked at Sasha who whispered into her ear, "Er, tear you a new one!" Milla looked back at Sasha who flashed her a thumbs up, "I am sorry if I upset you, child, but you are a growing boy who needs to eat . You are going to eat two sandwiches now and later you will be eating lunch in the dining hall. "

"Yes, Agent Vodello." I gave a solemn nod and picked out one of each sandwich and a water bottle, I gave another nod to two agents for good measure, "I am sorry for worrying you." I turned to Lili and nodded to her too, "And you too, Lili. I promise to take better care of myself." 

"Communication is the linchpin of any relationship, romantic or otherwise. It is important to separate your professional relationships from personal ones, but that doesn't mean that you can't have one and not the other. Balance , Lili and Razputin. Relationships are a battlefield- but not one party against each other. A true partner is one who stands beside you." Sasha took a loud sip from his drink and Milla handed him another with a giggle, "But you will find this out. Whether you want to or not." 

We both wordlessly nodded and walked away as fast as we could. We arrived back at the van and jumped into it. Out of fear. 

"Dude. Did Sasha Nein just give you dating advice? " Morris asked as he dabbed a napkin on his face, "What the hell?" 

"Yeah, that's just… weird." Norma shuddered and took a sip from a water bottle, "I do not envy you two." 

"I woulda jumped from the boat headfirst. Even if this thing was, like, a mile off the ground." Lizzie shuddered. 

"I was just about to say that!" Sam flashed a finger at Lizzie before turning her attention towards us, "I'm, like, really glad that was you two facing that incredibly embarrassing situation! If it was me I'd probably get MONDO trauma!" Sam slapped her knee, "Like every time I would go in for a kiss with my boyfriend I would just picture Sasha Nein's face bein' all: This is a Sun Tzu quote I threw some big words in. And just vomit all over my boyfriend's face." Sam stopped laughing, "But I do not have a boyfriend- nor girlfriend, because I am spending this summer on me ." Sam looked around and solemnly nodded, " Sammy time ." 

I mean, it wasn't that bad. It was pretty sound advice. But it still sucked. Lili unwrapped the J&PB sandwich and shoved it in my mouth, after I got over the initial mental shock of imagining the sandwich was Sasha's lips I started chewing. I am also plotting my revenge on Sam for imprinting that mental image in my head. 

"Okay." Morris scooted to the window and lifted the beaded curtain to take a peek before turning to face us, "Milla is like a total babe, and- for the sake of equal opportunity: Sasha is a hunk of the highest caliber. We just have mad subjectivity about this because we see them as, like, parental figures. Like I'm terrified of them taking away my TV privileges and we don't even have cable here. Do you follow?" We nodded, "From this we can extrapolate that these two are doing something right in the babe attraction department . I posit that it's cuz they are themselves, they don't compromise their beliefs." 

"Dude, why are we talking about this." Lizzie held up a cold water bottle to her forehead and grumbled, "I just ate. I don't have the constitution for this." 

Norma pat her sister's back, "You can easily apply this to platonic friendships, we understand that you are too cool for relationships. And that you are a little baby. A crybaby. Also a wet blanket. Everyone hates this about you, but we deal with it because we are adults. And you should grow up too." I almost thought for a second that they were having a touching familial moment but Norma was just clowning on her. 

"Man, shut up, Norma." Morris rolled his eyes and shot an apologetic look to Lizzie, "My B, Liz'. I just kinda get ahead of myself whenever it's, like, feels talk." Morris scratched the back of his head, "Back home people from all around the neighborhood would head over and talk to my grandma about relationship advice. I guess I feel a little homesick," I squinted my eyes, Morris is from a fortune teller family, I know I'm technically a Galochio too- but… Man, "Not that I have any precognitive abilities myself , I'm just kinda interested in the forces and interplay of psychic connections that interact with uh, shit like that." Okay, Morris gets a pass, for now. 

"Yeah, that's a real cute way of saying that you love gossip." Norma let out a condescending laugh- so like a regular laugh, coming from her.

"Hey! Morris can't help it, he's the Heart of the New 7!" We all squinted our eyes in confusion at Sam, Sam explained herself, "Morris keeps everyone together with his music and charming personality. I am the Plucky Go-Getter that everyone can't help but love. Raz is the Ace who is weirdly competent in everything but still kinda naive and inexperienced. Norma is the Rational-Minded girl who plays things by the books. Lizzie is the Cool Chick who don't play by no rules. Gisu is the Gadgeteer Lady who is smart and knows how to program the VCR. And Adam is the Leader because he has a cool hat and an accent." We all couldn't help but nod, "Lili is kinda like our boss since her dad is our boss, so she's like Mission Control." 

"Okay." Lizzie turned to Adam who wasn't really paying attention, "Mr. Leader, could you change the subject of this conversation? If I cringe any harder I might pull something." 

"Huh-" Adam looked up from the guidebook he was reading, he wasn't really paying attention, "Sorry, I wasn't really paying attention," He reached into a expando folder and pulled out a stapled together packet to Lizzie, "Here, read this. Whenever the convo gets mad dodgy I usually just skive off and focus on something else. I printed out a copy of the bennies to hand off to my parents." Lizzie sighed and snatched it out of his hands, "Did you guys know that we get a state mandated 15 minute break after every 4 hours of work? Insane ." He went back to not really paying attention.

Morris cleared his throat, "Well, I guess Adam and Lizzie aren't that interested. Raz and Lili are already together. Sam is focusing on Sammy Time . Gisu is currently talking to Dion," Morris shot a sly look at Gisu who was currently gripping the steering wheel with a murderous look on her face, "Er… so I guess it's just Norma and I who care about relationship talk right now." Morris blinked his eyes, "That's… that's insane. Well, maybe it's for the best. Ford and Mali- er, Lucy, kinda ended pretty badly. Maybe relationships for psychics aren't for everyone…"

"So, Norma…" Lili shifted uncomfortably on the shag carpeting, ||Raz, we gotta be nice to Norma so she can show me how to do that cool concentrated PK thing|| , " Are you interested in dating?" Why. Why is she doing this. Why would she ask this.

"Um." Norma looked genuinely at a loss for words, she adjusted her glasses and looked at Lili, "It… would be nice to… wear someone else's jacket." Her voice was exceptionally vulnerable, Lizzie frowned very hard at the photocopied packet, Lili gave a very tight smile- my jacket weighing pretty heavy on her shoulders, "It… it would be nice to have someone who loved m-" 

"ALRIGHT." Gisu kicked open the driver-side door and screamed, "NO." She continued to scream as she practically ran off the ship, "OTTO, GIVE ME THE KEYS. I NEED TO FINISH WORKING ON THE FEEL MOBILE. I CANNOT TAKE ONE. MORE. CHARACTER. MOMENT."  

Chapter Text

"You guys think the van is going to fly?" Adam casually changed the subject without looking up from the guidebook, "I mean- there seems to be an aviation theme going on." 

"Nah, it's going to levitate ." Sam grimaced as if Adam asked the dumbest question on the planet, she quickly dropped the sass and pondered, "Gisu uses levitation on her skateboard thingy, so maybe the wheels will be replaced with thought bubbles- or maybe they'll fold up like a cool spy car." 

"I mean, either way we'd be better off just using the jet to get around…" Morris quickly had a thought and grimaced, "I bet 50 bucks that we'll just end up being used as errand boys, gonna spend the next couple of years having to pick up Milla's clothes from the dry cleaners- good thing I'm not old enough to drive yet." 

"Legally." Lizzie smirked and threw the paper she was reading behind her back, Adam rolled his eyes and TK'ed it back into his folder, "Compton had me running around the Motherlobe trying to hunt an animal to bring back to him, pretty sure that's not an age appropriate activity. Lemme tell you somethin': deers have a horrifying death rattle." 

What. I looked at Lili for some back-up but judging from Norma and Lili's face journey they were TP'ing each other, I didn't want any part of that so I continued talking, "Okay, I'm pretty sure Compton didn't want you to kill the animals." Compton wasn't the best communicator, but Lizzie isn't the best listener. 

" Ohhhh , Mr. Cougar Killer has something to say!" Lizzie mocked, it seems like she is taking things out of context. 

Sam gasped, " RAZ! Mountain Lions are an endangered species!" I guess that was kind of messed up of me, Sam's voice grew concerned, "If you wanna kill an animal to satisfy your sick and twisted inner-demons, pick an animal that isn't endangered…"

"No! What?" I raised my arms and tried to defend myself, "Those Mountain Lions have pyrokinesis ! And I had campers to save!" 

"Whoa, hold up…" Morris ran his hand through his hair, "For real? Pyrokinetic Mountain Lions? Whispering Rock is mad fucked up."

"Yeah… okay, Raz." Lizzie rolled her eyes, "I don't know what all that falling on your head did to you while you were in the circus, but making up stor-" 

"The abundance of psitanium at Whispering Rock messes with the local fauna, so we have psychic animals over there." Lili casually remarked before she stood up and sat next to Norma on the bed to continue with their conversation.

"Oh, yeah, I remember Dogen saying something about that…" Sam nodded, "But still- they are endangered. Even if they are trying to kill you." 

"I'll keep that in mind the next time I'm being set on fire by a bloodthirsty cougar." I don't actually think I will. 

"Alright, sorry, Raz. Norma told me how you kept a kill count of all the local fauna you decimated and just figured you were doing it for fun- I didn't think they actually were psychic." Lizzie apologized, I mean the squirrel thing is something that I need to probably talk about- but other than that it was just survival, "I'm just glad our parents made us go to regular camp, not psychic camp." 

"How was that like?" Morris asked as he cracked open another ESParilla, thankfully Norma opened up a window to get the smell out, "I usually spent my summers with family in sunny Los Marblés. Never got to go to camp." 

"It was pretty fun, actually…" Lizzie rolled her head and groaned, as if having fun was akin to torture, "I had a good time on the river and played paintball a bunch and made a lot of frie-" 

"Camp was terrible." Norma pushed up her glasses and sighed, "Disgusting un-airconditioned, mosquito infested, Asbestos-lined shanty town lean-tos they called cabins . And that's not even talking about the push-over counselors who bent at the whim of every entitled snot-nosed brat out of fear of a lawsuit." 

"That actually does sound kinda lame," I had to stand with Norma on this one, "I'd rather deal with telekinetic bears than a bunch of jerk kids who are mean to service workers. And I don't know what paint ball is, but it sounds kinda messy." 

"It's a game where you shoot, uh, paint bullets at each other. It's only fun if you're on a team that can communicate with each other, I used to play with my older cousins back home- it wasn't that fun ." Adam closed the guidebook and shoved it into a folder, "But I'd bet we would have fun playing- especially since we are all psychic." 

"Or it would end up with Norma lighting a cabin on fire and us getting sent home early." Lizzie smirked and rolled her eyes. 

"In Norma's defense," Lili spoke up, to defend Norma , "I prolly woulda burnt the whole place down on the first day- for fun." Norma smiled and stopped trying to light Lizzie's hair on fire.

Morris pursed his lips and nodded, "That's fair," He then let out a sigh, "Hanging with non-psychics is always kinda weird . Not in like a oh, I gotta make sure not to read their minds sorta way, but more in that reading their minds is, like, maddeningly boring ." 

"Oh my god. Totally! " Sam laughed, "It's like: shut the fuck up for like 5 seconds or at least stop thinking about what time it is just get a watch! " All of us blinked and checked our wrists. 

"Yeah, I get right knackered whenever I find myself surrounded by non-psychic cun-" Adam grimaced and stopped talking, "Er, people. Sorry, my accent kinda slips up when I get kinda too loose …" 

"You're in good company, Adam. We don't need Closed Captioning or anything," I laughed, "Loads of people have trouble understanding my Grulovian accent, so I kinda get where you are coming from…" 

"Huh?" Sam asked, everyone else kinda looked confused too for some reason, "Raz, you don't have an accent." 

"Huh? Oh, you guys are probably just used to it by now." I smiled and laughed, it's kinda nice to have friends now, "Er, back in the circus everytime I would try to have start conversation with someone, an adult or a kid my age, they'd just look at me kinda funny and walk away." 

The van was dead quiet for a while, I guess maybe my accent was coming out or something, no biggie. 

Norma was the first to break the silence, "Raz? Would you like a psi-pop?" She offered me a psi-pop for some weird reason, her voice was a bit sad sounding. 

I just shrugged my shoulders and took it and flashed her a thumbs up. "Thanks, Norma. I'll never say no to a psi-pop. And, thanks for being patient with me guys," I scratched the back of my head and crushed the lollipop between my teeth and talked between chews, "I didn't really have anyone to talk to besides my family and the caravan growing up, so I wasn't quite sure if I'd ever fit into, uh, regular society- it didn't really get me down or anything, just confused. That's why I count myself lucky for being able to make it to Whispering Rock to meet Lili and Dogen-" I flashed Lili a smile, "Thanks for being my first ever friend, and also girlfriend too- but I mean even if we weren't, uh, dating I'd still be glad to get to know you." 

"I am glad you ran away from the circus, Raz." Lili flashed me a warm smile, "I don't really wanna imagine a world where you never snuck into camp. The campers, me, my dad , and all of us- we'd probably be dead, or worse: Brainless , if it wasn't for you…" 

I chuckled and waved that thought away, "I'm sure you coulda handled it yourself, Lili. You don't give yourself enough credit…" 

" No. Listen to me." Lili went up and grabbed me by the arms, "Seriously, we would all be dead. " 

"Yeah, Raz?" I turned to see Adam with an eyebrow raised, "Mate, you really have no idea of how bad things could've gotten." He grimaced, "Actually, it's better to not think about that. All I know is that I'm glad that you're here. With us." 

Lili gave me a tight hug and went back to sitting next to Norma. I do not like that she went back to sitting next to Norma. But I guess I should just get over it, she's allowed to make her own friends. I guess I should be happy that Norma can even make friends. 

Norma sighed, "I- I know that you won't forgive me for it- but, again, I'm sorry about being mean to you when you first got here." 

"Yeah, it wasn't really the best first impression, Raz," Morris grimaced, "Sorry, man." 

"And I'm sorry for calling you mean," Sam scratched the back of her head, "I know now that you aren't mean. You're pretty nice, most of the time." 

"It's cool, you guys!" I laughed, it's all in the past now so I think it'd be kinda weird to hold onto a grudge or anything- especially now that we are coworkers or whatever, "And Norma, I can kind of understand where you were coming from with all the snitching and conniving and being pretty much the biggest asshole on the planet. But you can't help being you, I think I've already said that. And that's fine." 

||Raz, what the hell? Be nice to Norma! She's sensitive! || Lili squinted her eyes at me. I thought I was being nice. 

Norma squirmed in her seat and gave a nod, "I- I know I'm not really a nice person, guys. And- and I'm sorry. I can't be nice like my sister. Lizzie." Her eyes were focused on a spot on the floor. Lizzie raised her eyebrows, squinted, drew her head back, and let out a breath of air from puckered lips like someone slapped her. Lili solemnly patted Norma's back and shook her head. Everyone else stared in stun silence.

Wait. "What?" I started laughing, Lili shot a pissed off look at me- but whatever, " Nice? Lizzie? Okay, I don't know exactly your, uh, familial issues are- and I don't wanna overstep any boundaries so I won't try to poke around. But Nice? That's not a word that comes to my mind when I think of Lizzie. You guys can both be pretty awful, no offense," Lizzie bobbed her head and nodded, "Listen, Norma. You can't be like your sister because you aren't your sister. Take it from me- living in your siblings shadows will eat you up inside and give you a vitamin deficiency. Stop giving a crap about what Lizzie does and just be yourself , because I think that person you are- even if you can be nosy and a huge jerk, is someone worth being. Also- maybe start taking notes because I do not want to have this conversation again." I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose, I didn't really like saying this but, "I mean, what if I was the mole?" 

Norma sighed and nodded, "We would all be dead…" Everyone else nodded their heads too. 

"What? No." I squinted my eyes and jerked my head around, "Guys, I'm, like, 10 years old. You really think I can topple The Psychonauts? " 

Norma and Lizzie both raised their heads and met my eye, they opened their mouths, "Yes."

"S- seriously?" I opened and closed my mouth, "I- I can't beat the Psychic 6, I couldn't beat Nein or Vodello-" 

"You were in their brains multiple times, you almost broke Sasha's" Lili tilted her head and chose her words carefully, "I know you love the Psychonauts. And I know you're a good person. P-probably, like, the most perfect best person ever. But, Raz. You could've easily pulled the whole rug over the Psychic world. In fact, you did . Just in a good way." 

I'm kind of at a loss for words so I just could only find the strength to lift the water bottle to my mouth, I took a drink but my arms gave out, some water spilled on my undershirt. I sat my arms on my knees and blinked at the beanbag chair between my legs. 

"I- if you knew that Ford brainwashed your great-aunt into thinking she was your grandma, if you knew that her descent into Maligula was caused by the crazy shit that the Psychic 7 did to their own brains, if you knew about the blood on everyone's hands…" Lizzie's voice was shaky, she sounded sad and angry at herself, "Would you still try to save everyone?" 

The van was quiet. I was quiet. But then I wasn't. I heard the sound of my own voice. 

"Yes."  

I've had a pretty tough past couple of days, so I hope everyone can put up with me being a little mopey, "I don't think I'm just saying that because I already made my choices," I had to clear my throat, my eyes stung and I kinda wish I had my goggles on, "I don't know how to be anyone but the… boy I am today, sitting here. I would've done the right thing. Even if it was to fix a wrong I didn't make. Even if I knew it all from the start." 

I found the courage to look up. I guess I'm not the only one who wishes they wore goggles. 

"I'm so so so sorry for doubting you, Raz!" Norma croaked out, she took off her glasses, "I know you're probably tired of hearing it… b- but I promise to never, " She quickly took a deep breath and composed herself and threw her glasses back on, " Ever doubt you again." 

Lili quickly jumped up to give me a hug and everyone joined in. We had a group hug. 

I heard the van door open, "SERIOU-" , Gisu took a deep breath and read the room. I felt another pair of arms come in. And then the hug was over. Everyone went back to their places, kinda embarrassed.

"Alright," Gisu took another breath, she wore a captain's hat over her hood, "I needed that." She cleared her throat, "Otto gave me the keys after I took, like, a billion selfies with him while wearing this stupid hat. Apparently this little sailboat thing is ours too, uh," She scratched the back of her neck and hiked her thumb to the ship's wheel, "I'm gonna go and figure out how to drive this thing, but first-" Gisu threw me a green jacket along with my old striped green sweater and handed out three handkerchiefs to Lili, Norma, and Lizzie, "Raz's Nona wanted me to hand these out." She quickly closed the van door, "Now, give me a couple of minutes . Gonna put this baby through the ropes first." 

"Should we be worried?" Sam asked with a raised eyebrow, Adam shook his head but quickly buckled his seatbelt, "Okay. Welp, I hope my parents life insurance policy on me covers flying sailboats…" Sam buckled her seatbelt with a sigh. 

I held up the jacket to the light. Grulovian embroidery in yellow thread ran down both sides of the front of the jacket, and on the back was the same pattern enlarged. I recognize it from Nona's memories as the same pattern on her favorite dress. On the left lapel were two interlocking rings of yellow and purple, on the right were rings of white and blue. The chain that hung from the missing yellow button on the left lapel was decorated in sparkling beads and stones, I quickly hung the chain on my Psychonaut badge and affixed it to the lapel. The weird shoulder-pad-thingies had an upside down crown embroidered in black thread. 

"Weird." I threw it on and stood up, a bad mistake because the boat jerked forward, "Whoops!" Luckily I was able to catch my balance, "Jacket fits nice, uh, maybe a little bit flashy- but whatever makes Nona happy…" I took it off before throwing my sweater on. I stared hard a bit harder at the black crown, I'm pretty sure that's the Grulovian crown. 

"Well?" Norma cracked an eyebrow at Lizzie and addressed her with a neutral tone, "Go on, Malizzgula ." Kind of a messed up nickname, if you ask me.

'What?" I quickly looked at Lizzie who blinked and shot Norma a terrified look, Lili blew into her handkerchief- still kinda snotty from the hug, "Come on, Lizzie, go easy on me. I know the jacket is kinda dorky but my Nona ma-" 

"No, the jacket looks fly as hell, Raz," Norma casually admitted, she held up the handkerchief, "Come on, Miss. Grulovia. What does this mean?" 

"Okay, fine!" Lizzie groaned and shot everyone a worried look, "Back in Middle School we did a little United Nation's council thingy and I was chosen to rep-" 

" You almost gave Kerrie a black eye for the posi-" Norma's eyeroll was interrupted from another groan from Lizzie.

"Okay, okay! Fine. " Lizzie sighed, "Uh. I used to… kinda used to look up to Maligula- because we both had hydrokinesis and she's, like, the most famous user," She gave a look to Norma before looking back at me and sighed, "I was mega lame and edgy back then… cuz of hormones and stuff. I felt like maybe Lucrecia maybe felt just as… confused as I was about… our powers." 

"I mean," This is a pretty tricky situation, "Jeez." I am not looking forward to puberty, "My Nona is pretty cool, besides the whole war crimes thing… Er, I'm not going to hold what you did in the past against you, Lizzie," Lizzie pursed her lips in worry, obviously ashamed, "Be kinda hypocritical since my Nona actually did kill innocent people," I blinked, phew that's kinda heavy to just say out loud, "You are cool now though, so that's what matters." 

"T-thanks, Raz." Lizzie shot the rest of the group an embarrassed look, "And, yeah, I definitely do not condone Maligula's actions. They were wack ."

"You good, Liz'" Morris chuckled and shook his head, "It's just water- Er, air in our case, under the boat. So don't beat yourself up about it." Everyone nodded, but stayed silent. 

"So, I kinda know a lot about Grulovian culture and history. Because I was like really nerdy about it back then…" Lizze grimaced and shut her eyes, "Even my friendster handle was Malizzgula ." Oof. Everyone tugged at their collars and cringed a bit.

"And the handkerchief?" Norma asked, Lili stopped dabbing at her nose with hers and a look of horror dawned on her face when she realized it might be important. 

Lizzie brought the handkerchief up and unfolded it outwards, her voice was shaky, "We have been chosen as Hands for the Galochio family. A Hand is essentially like a very close family friend," She pointed the the tiny white hands in the middle of yellow interconnected rings that lined the border of the purple handkerchief, "Or in our case, like a surrogate daughter. As Hands we are granted a crap ton of the prestige of the Galochio family," Lizzie looked at me, "Even before Maligula your family, the Galochio's, were very prestigious. A lot of famous Circus Performers and Commedia Dell'psyche Performers… Not to mention famous warlords and generals…" Didn't know that, that's kinda cool, "Essentially we are now recognized as allies to the Galochio family, and represent them in social situations," I have no idea how that is applicable here, "And if Raz dies in battle, we have to retrieve his body. The Hands represent our status as pallbearers for his funeral," Lizzie looked at me and gave a slight frown, "The handkerchiefs she gave Norma and I are for soldiers . Lucrecia is afraid you might die as a Psychonaut.

"That fly as hell jacket you're wearing, Raz," Lizzie pointed at my jacket, "That's a Ringmaster jacket. That's only given to men from Circus families when they get married or-" Lizzie sighed, "They go off to war… and might not come back."

"Well, Nona is afraid that I'll die of hypothermia if I sleep with the tent open," I raised an eyebrow and scoffed, "Nona is just being Nona, Lizzie, and I think she just likes you two because you remind her of her and her sister. Merona, her elder sister, had glasses like Norma- heck, even the names sound similar." 

" Whooooaaaaaaaaa," Sam exclaimed from the passenger seat, "That's a crazy coincidence! And! Lizzie has water powers! Just like Lucy! Whoaaaaaaa!" She took a deep breath, a little light-headed from the whoa , " Lizzy and Lucy both start with an L! " 

"Dude!" Morris let out a single chuckle, "Crazy. It all falls apart though because Merona is Raz's grandma and Norma is not Raz's grandma." 

"Yes," Norma nodded, "I am not Raz's Nona. I guess if I am Nona's surrogate daughter I'd be like his Aunt." 

"What. You can't be my Aunt!" I screamed, "No! That's really weird! " 

"Well," Lizzie rolled her head around and grimaced, "It's not like her adopting us, more like just, uh, knighting us? Grulovian society is pretty…" Lizzie took a glance at me, " Complicated . If Raz came from a family of a lower class like a merchant or lesser-noble family it'd be more like that . Just like a god-daughter sort of deal." Lizzie sighed and tied the handkerchief around her head like a headband, "But this carries way more weight. You don't have to wear it, Norma, but I'd wear it if Raz's family is around." Norma nodded and tied it around her neck. 

Lili quickly spoke up and held up her snot-soaked handkerchief, "What about me? Does this mean me and Raz gotta get married because of Grulovian Rules? Cuz we kissed?" Lili sounded worried but also kinda excited, "I don't think I'm ready to get married, Raz. Sorry." She shot me a apologetic look. 

"I'm going to jump off this boat." I sighed and got up, Lili gasped and opened her mouth in shock, "Nah, I'm just kidding, I don't think I'm husband materi-" I felt my head grow dangerously hot, "Okay! Sorry, sorry!" I laughed, Lili stopped trying to light my head on fire and pouted. 

Lizzie took the handkerchief from Lili and gagged a bit when she unfolded the rorschach pattern of snot Lili left. "Uh. Nona thinks Lili is wife material for Raz…" Everyone in the van sans Lili, Lizzie, and I immediately oooooooh? -ed to me and Lili's embarrassment, "Er, so Grulovia is kind of matriarchal in how families go about. Since the Galochio family is so prestigious it supercedes Raz's mom's non-Grulovian family- in terms of Grulovian society. So-" Lizzie pointed at the yellow and purple rings embroidered on the triangle shaped handkerchief, "This means that Lili has the Galochio family endorsement to court Raz without paying a dowry- since she'd be marrying into a very upper class caste since she's of non-Grulovian descent." Lizzie handed the handkerchief to Lili who frowned at it, "If you wanna play things by the books, and make Lucrecia happy, you gotta get Raz's Mom's approval to get the other half of the handkerchief. Raz's Mom is the de-facto head of the Aquato family," Lizze smirked, "Chicks are the ones who ultimately call the shots in Grulovian families." 

"Oi!" Adam exclaimed, "Dude, Liz' you should be, like, an anthropology professor or something! I understood, like, all of that- and I usually doze off in history!" He gave a short cough, "I always got history first period, I'm not a morning person." 

"Er, thanks." Lizzie looked around, incredibly embarrassed, "You guys think I'm still cool, right?" 

I mean, absolutely not. That was the nerdiest thing on the planet, and all of those rules and junk do not apply to modern Grulovian families. I think Nona was just being nice to Lizzie, Norma, and Lili and wanted to give me a fun jacket, "We still think you're cool, Liz' don't worry!" I lied. 

The van door opened, "Hey, we've been on the ship for, like, 20 minutes now, but I had to go use the bathroom," Gisu sighed, "This boat needs a map, it's way bigger once you actually get up to it." Gisu hiked her thumb, "Now get out of the van before I throw you out." 

We exited the van to find ourselves right next to what basically amounted to a mini-cruise ship. 

"Heya, Junior Agents!" Grand Head of the Psychonauts, Truman Zanotto, greeted, he quickly pointed two fingerguns at me, "Wow, Agent Aquato! That jacket is fly as hell! -" He cleared his throat, "Er, heck . Sorry, excuse my language." If Lili rolled her eyes any harder they would fall out of her head.

Chapter Text

Truman was wearing a turquoise and white Hawaiian print shirt that poked through a light blue silk kimono. I find the kimono ensemble to be a bit more cool than the bathrobe he was wearing, maybe he was captured during bathtime. Which is exceptionally worrying to me- I feel as though post-bath bliss is when an individual's mental prowess reaches max potential. But perhaps each person is different, maybe the PBB (Post-Bath Bliss, this is what I am calling it now) can render a Psychonaut in a stupor-like mental state. I am putting a pin in this for later. 

"Well, in any case," Truman cleared his throat and we all snapped to attention, maybe we were all considering the coolness of his outfit change, "Congratulations are in order!" Truman quickly retrieved a paper party popper and pulled the string, confetti sprayed out with a pop and got caught in his beard, "I would like to personally thank you all for your efforts yesterday, if it weren't for your contributions The Psychonauts as you know them would be no more!" Truman gave a quick laugh, we all nodded, "Now, as Hollis is currently out for vacation the duty of overseeing your young minds has fallen to my shoulders !" The Grand Head's voice quickly turned up-tempo from excitement, "Worry not, Junior Agents! After the mental stress of that particular crisis I'm not about to send you off to any missions or return to regular programming as if beating Maligula wasn't probably the most terrifying ordeal you've ever had to encounter! 

"It is important for every Agent to take some time and decompress- even if the stress you have undergone may not amount to a drop in the bucket in comparison of what you've gone through or what is coming ," Truman's voice grew a bit solemn and he quickly cleared his throat, "It is imperative that you decompress. Your mind, as a Psychonaut, is your greatest asset. You are required to take care of it, it is quite literally part of the agreement you signed when you were promoted to Junior Agents," He flashed us a warm smile, "And between you and me: you guys deserve a break! Today you guys can take it easy, have fun on the S.S. Ataraxis! Just, er, make sure you don't break anything or it's coming out of your paycheck," We all nodded in agreement and Truman smiled even deeper. 

"But tomorrow you will be undergoing some Team Building Exercises," We all squinted his eyes at the way he said team building exercises and grimaced, it sounded lame and uninteresting as all hell, he quickly chuckled, "Wow, I know you kids don't like corporate buzzwords and all that but please keep in mind: you kiiinda are members of the workforce now. Just another cog in the machine , a suit - Welcome to the soul-crushing reality of adulthood! " Truman tried his hardest not to smile as the light left our collective eyes, "But, I mean you guys save the world for a living- so it's not like you're working IT or data processing or something," Truman grimaced, "So quit bein' a bunch of whiners ." 

I received a small mental shock from Lili, ||You good?|| I asked. 

||Yeah, sorry. Uh, whiner is what Dad calls me whenever I throw a tantrum…|| Lili apologized, I gave her a quick TK pat on the back. I can kinda get where she is coming from, I got a weird relationship with my parents too. 

"So, you will all be working with each other now as a Team," Truman nodded, "A Team requires communication to work, and communication is easier to come by if you all get to know each other better." Truman gestured towards my general direction, "Agent Aquato joined the intern program yesterday, you guys seem to all get along with him- which is good! But I think it would be beneficial for you all to maybe spend some more time actually making connections ," Our eyes widened in fear, Lizzie almost puked, Morris started hyperventilating, "Oh please , seriously, stop whining !" Truman let out a cheerful laugh, "I'm just ordering you to hang out , I've got some fun activities for everyone-" Lili almost let out an anguished NO! but quickly muffled her mouth, "C'mon guys, you're getting paid to just deepen your relationships ! Ten years down the line and I know you will all look back to this fondly, you'll have to know each other eventually . We're just ripping the band-aid off early." 

We let out a collective breath and nodded, "Good. You all don't have a choice anyways." Truman's kimono pocket vibrated and he quickly pulled out a weird plastic device, probably some kind of Psychonaut tech that's linked to the collective unconscious that alerts the Grand Head when there is a disturbance in the Astral Plane, "Uh-huh, Lori got herself stuck in the photocopier again- gotta figure out how to mute this pager," Truman sighed before flashing us a smile, "Don't worry, I'll torture you guys tomorrow. But for now, take it easy! Also- you'll be changing dorms, maybe temporarily. Bring your assorted belongings to your new lodgings at the Hagfish Room located in between the 5-D Movie Theater and Sea Turtle Lanes." Truman floated off the sailboat and waved goodbye, "Have fun!" 

Morris was the first to break the single-file line we were standing in and floated forward, he turned around to address us, "In between a fucking movie theater and a bowling alley ?" He complained, "Holy crap! If I don't get at least 8 hours of sleep I have a tendency to get a lil bananas . And if Otto wants to keep this thing in the air: he does not wanna see this dude get bananas ." 

"Oh, quit being a big baby, Morris," Sam sighed and hopped from the sailboat to the Ataraxis, "Sea Turtle Lanes might be a go-kart track or something, quit levitating to conclusions. I'm gonna scope the new pad out, if you wanna take your time and soak in the sights: be my guest." 

Sam piroutted and started walking in a random direction, Adam and Morris followed her. 

Norma approached the guardrail and addressed her sister, "Lizzie, I'm going to go down and collect our stu-"

"Oh no you do not ," Lizzie groaned and stomped over to Norma, " We are collecting our things. I don't need you snooping through my stuff." 

Norma rolled her eyes and smiled, "As you wish," She quickly turned her attention to me and Lili, "I'll see you two later!" She gave a cheerful wave and jumped off from the railing. 

Lizzie groaned and hiked her thumb to where her sister jumped off from, "See what I gotta deal with?" She made her way to the guardrail, "Oh wait," Lizzie quickly turned and snatched Lili's handkerchief, "Lemme see this real qui-" 

"No!" Lili grabbed an end of the handkerchief, "Get your own!" She complained, "Wait, actually don't. What's your deal , Lizzie? Raz is, like, 15 years younger than you!"

Lizzie's eyes widened, " What? " She quickly let go and Lili almost fell to the floor, " No . Fuckin' ew. I just wanna clean it real quick! Don't be weird!" 

"Oh." Lili open and closed her mouth, "I'm sorry, Lizzie." She handed the handkerchief to Lizzie, "Er. I never really thought of myself as the jealous type . This is kind of mortifying." Yeah, it is. 

"Let's just pretend that never freakin happened…" Lizzie sighed and held the cloth triangle taught, a quick line of condensed water streaked along the handkerchief leaving a rainbow of mist that billowed in the air, Lizzie grimaced, "Crap, some of it got in my mouth, also it's not 15 years it's like 3 years and 4 months, I'm not old " Lizzie spat and handed the garmet back to Lili, "Alright, smell you fools later." She quickly jumped off from the boat before any more embarrassing things happened. 

Lili tied the handkerchief around her wrist and pointed at my friendship bracelet, "There, now we match." She quickly took a deep breath and hopped to the bigger ship, "Come on, Raz. Let's take our time getting to, uh, The Hagfish Room." Lili grimaced at the name.

"Sure," I quickly undid the straps on the van with TK and put one of them in my backpack, I wrapped another one around my neck, "These are really easy to use, surprisingly needs less concentration than telekinesis. I think I might keep some." The makeshift scarf cast a cool as hell purple glow and trailed behind me in the wind. 

"Er, okaaaay ." Lili squinted her eyes at me in confusion as I jumped onto the cruise along with her, I made sure to look down- we are pretty high up, "Why?" 

"Huh?" I thought it looked pretty rad so I was kinda bummed out, "Uh, you know- the psitanium in them means I can probably astral project into brains with it still on me. I can use it to, like, wrangle up memory vaults or use it as a cool whip or something." 

"Oh. Huh. That is kinda cool. And I guess the scarf is kinda cute." Lili smiled, cute? What? I thought I looked appropriately manly , or at the very least roguish , "Welp." Lili looked around, "Kinda wish we had a map or something." 

We were currently located on the second to the bottom level of the Ataraxis, a 2-story high loading bay was in front of us. I have spent very little time around ship loading bays, and ships in general so I might as well be on a whole other planet right now. Right in front of us was a makeshift looking workshop with some heavy-looking machinery, Gisu and Dion were currently working on some crazy looking engine. Beyond them were stacks of shipping containers. Looking up I saw a hatch that opens from the ceiling that spanned the whole baseball field sized garage. 

"This place is pretty big," I mused out loud as we walked toward Gisu and Dion to annoy the hell out of them. "How the heck did Otto build this thing?" 

"I think the bigger question is where," Lili took a seat on a desk and took a look at a blueprint, "But it is prolly, like, super inconsequential to worry about stuff like that. The first unspoken rule of being a Psychonaut is to not ask questions like how? and why? , answers usually just pop arbitrarily." 

"I'll keep that in mind." I squinted at the blueprint and TK'ed an empty bottle of ESParilla into a trashcan with a grimace. Lili rested her head on my shoulder and I tried my hardest to not freak out.

The blueprint showed some kind of spiny-looking sea urchin machine. The complex looking internal mechanisms swooped and swirled with no regards for ergonomics, they all had names like TRE-FLIP-OMIZER and BADASSOMETER . Looking at the main sketch with it all assembled they all fit together in a facsimile of a oblong shaped brain. I am beginning to see a theme in the over all industrial design trends that prevail in Psychonaut technology. Written in all caps was FEEL MOBILE V.2 ENGINE BLOCK! the exclamation point dotted with a cool looking skull. 

I looked over at the real thing and it looked like it was almost completed, only the KRUNK MACHINATOR and TURBO! needed to be installed, they sat on a multi-colored quilt in front of Dion. Gisu was working underneath the engine block, issuing out screams of joy and anger at random intervals. 

"Hey, you gonna keep staring at us like some kind of creep or are you going to say hello to your only big brother?" I rolled my eyes and stepped forward. 

"Hello, Dion. It's nice to finally meet you, I'm Raz's girlfriend, Lili." Lili introduced herself casually, not bothering to be extra demure or polite, just a simple neutral introduction- which I appreciated, "Please ensure to bully Raz mercilessly so I can see what he's like candidly with his family." She slowly gave a deep smile and gave a single wave, maybe I spoke too soon. 

"Ah, sup! So you're the lucky little lady who-" Dion's eyebrows raised, "Huh." He scratched the back of his head, "Guess you have Nona's approva-" Dion shot me a look of terror, "Holy shit. Raz!" He quickly ran up to me and shook me by the shoulders, "Are you okay? Do you have something?" 

"What?" I tried to ask, but it came out more like whaauuuaaauuuaauut because he was shaking me.

"You are wearing a Ringmaster coat, dude." Dion gulped and stopped shaking me, "We only give those out for funerals . To get buried in. Did… fighting Nona mess up your brain or something?" 

"Er. Lizzie said that Nona gave it to me because I'm supposed to go fight in a war or something. She says that it's because Nona is afraid I'll kill myself as a Psychonaut." I quickly slapped his hands off me, "Honestly, I think she just wanted me to have something warm to wear and was bored. I don't think she meant anything by it." 

"Who the fuck is Lizzie? What kind of name is that? Is she Grulovian, and, like, from the 17th century? Why would she know all this?" Dion scratched his head, Gisu screamed PSI-SPANNER and reached her hand out and Dion immediately handed her some silver looking tool that looked like a miniature rake, "Well, whatever. I mean, Nona is probably right- you are going to probably end up dead, like super young, and break Mom's heart, and she'll die of grief, and then everyone else will be so sad they won't even be able to eat." Dion nodded his head like he said the most obvious thing on the planet. 

I'd get upset but I already did this song and dance with him for minutes yesterday, at this point we are just doing this out of habit, "You do know that there probably is as much danger from doing cartwheels a thousand feet in the air as jumping into people's minds right?" 

" Wait . That 's what you do? You just jump into people's heads? For what? Do you, like, fight their inner-demons to make them stop being evil?" Dion started laughing, I mean he's not wrong but it's like way cooler than that, Gisu hurriedly screeched KLEINDRIVER and Dion handed her some odd purple handled screwdriver looking thing that seemed to fold into itself, "Man, just get a degree in therapy or something…" 

"College? In this economy? C'mon, Dion. Plus- it's a very steady line of work, there's no end of work to be done on the astral plane so it's innate job security. And- " Dion rolled his eyes and I shoved a finger in his face, "People need me. Nona needed me and I helped her out, and if I didn't show up on the scene a lot of people would be Brainless right now!" 

Dion casually moved my hand out of his face and sighed, "Dude. Shut up. I know you think you're a big hero now and that you saved the day , but to me-" He squatted down and gave me a noogie, "You're my snot nosed little brother who I changed the diapers of. You can save the world, like, a billion times but I don't give a goddamn shit about that. All I know is that you can hurt yourself, and that makes me pissed off. " He sighed, Gisu shouted WATER BOTTLE and Dion handed her an empty plastic bottle, "Is it really that hard for you to understand that all of us are worried about you?" 

"No, it's not really hard to understand." I pursed my lips and nodded, I care about my family too- a lot, "But I'm not going to stop being a Psychonaut. I know you guys can handle the circus without me, you've said that already. I'm not exactly worried about you all snapping your necks or anything, if anything I'm fairly certain you guys are putting yourself in mortal peril more often than me." 

"Raz, I stopped keeping track of the number of times I had to catch your clumsy ass from falling to your death after it got past a hundred," The number is 349, I guess that does sound like a big number but I've been in the circus game for 10 years, "What worries me isn't what you're doing, you thick-skulled stubborn little shit- sorry for cussing, I'm just pissed off at you," I tilted my head to the side and nodded, "What worries me is that I'm not there to make sure you don't bite it and take that final fall. Honestly, I blame dad for your clumsiness. He went easy on you." 

I always kinda neglect to mention that dad was way harsher on Dion growing up until he hit about 11 or so and got super good at Circustry. He had to sleep on a tightrope, it was a pretty bad scene. "Yeah. I'm going to be honest with you, Dion," I sighed and looked at him in the eyes, "I really don't want to be in the circus my whole life. I'm not as good as you or any of my other siblings, and I am having a lot of fun doing this. I have friends now and… I feel happy ." 

Dion blinked and cleared his throat, " Happy , huh?" Dion took a deep breath and grabbed me by my shoulders and whispered, " If you ever tell Mom what I'm about to tell you I am going to murder you ," His voice was serene, as if he was promising to take me out to get burgers or something after homeschooling, "I am not joking, Raz. You should know better than anyone , Psychics ain't got shit on Aquatos ." I sighed and motioned my hand to let him know that I get it, " I am happy that you are happy." He nodded and let me go, "I'm not happy that you broke mom's heart, but whatever , ya know, nothing is good enough for her- but I guess I'm juuuust like her." He shook his head, Gisu shouted EMPTY and Dion retrieved the now full plastic bottle and walked over to the sink to dump out an odd red and green iridescent liquid down the drain. 

"I mean, of course we're like mom and dad, Dion." I kinda almost felt bad for him, I also probably have an innate fear of turning into my parents, "But, and do not let this get to your head," I sighed, "But you're a pretty cool guy." 

"I've been knowing that," Dion grimaced as he ran tap water into the bottle to flush the odd liquid out, "And you're pretty… uh, Dashing? Daring? You've always been unafraid to be yourself, for better or worse. Always thought that was kinda cool," Dion went back at his place by Gisu and motioned at me, "That whole Space Pirate thing you've got going on is a pretty strong look, if you went out in public like that you'd probably turn a lot of heads. I guess we are from the circus," He shrugged his shoulders, "You make it work." 

Space Pirate? Man, I guess I probably do look insane. "Thanks, I guess." The mom thing still kinda bugs me, but more on how it effects the family as a whole, "Sorry you gotta deal with mom on my behalf, Dion. I'm not sorry enough to come back, but I'm sorry enough to apologize." 

Dion chuckled through his nose, " Suuuure ." He sighed, "Mom probably cried, like, a bathtubs worth of tears when we packed up the stuff from your tent so she could turn it into a home office. Oh, and don't get pissed off at me," I'm probably going to get pissed off, buy I nodded anyways, "Mom found your tarot cards." My blood ran cold, "She wasn't happy. You know how mom and dad are about divination ." 

"Come on, man," I groaned, "We are Galochio's. We are from a family of fortune tel-" Oh, "Crap. We…" I cringed and didn't want to ask this, "What time is it?" 

"Dude it's like, thirty minutes from lunch time. 11:28 to be exact," Dion shook his head, "I know you always had trouble learning how to read time from the moon from Nona but it's simple-" 

"Gisu. I am very, very, sorry to bother you, but what time is it?" I asked. 

"11:28! Also, HOAGIE. " Dion raised an eyebrow at me and handed Gisu a sandwich. 

"Dion. You aren't going to like this, but…" Actually I probably shouldn't say anything, "Er, forget it, dude. I'm just glad one of us knows what time it is." 

"Yeah, whatever, weirdooooo-" Dion's eyes lit up, "oooh, crap. " He let his arms fall to the side and his jaw dropped, "Uh. Okay," He quickly took a deep breath, " No . I'm not a fortune teller just because I know what time it is." 

Yeah, him being there to catch me and all my siblings when we fell was just pure coincidence. But the last thing I want is for Dion to be able to innately know the future. "Yeah, sorry for freaking you out, Dion."

Lili spoke up, "Yeah, Dion. If you were psychic you'd probably notice it by now. Don't let it get to you." 

Dion steadied himself and flashed a smile at Lili, "Thanks, I needed to hear that." Gisu spoke up PRESTIDIGI-READER and Dion casually handed her some crazy glowing yellow box that had 6 jumper cables running out of it.

"I guess it's pretty cool that you get to help Gisu with the van, you always were kinda into cars and stuff," Dion's tent is decorated with model cars and posters of hot babes on cars, he also is pretty handy whenever the caravan breaks down. 

"Yeah, you and Gisu work pretty well together," Lili laughed, "And for a non-psychic it's pretty cool how you learned the names of all the tools Otto and Gisu use in a short time." 

"Ha! Don't tell Gisu this but, " Dion smirked and whispered to us, " I've just been handing her random tools, but she's playing along. " 

"Wow!" Lili laughed, "You must be a pretty good guesser because you got them all right on-" Her voice grew quiet, "on… the first try." 

"Oh." Dion blinked. "Uh." I shrugged my shoulders. "I…" He shrugged his shoulders, "Will just stick with the good guesser thing." He started laughing and I laughed along with him, our laughs getting more forced as time went on. 

"Well… that was fun. " I lied, I feel kinda bad for Dion, "Er," I changed the subject, "A shame about the cards, but I mean I took everything I needed before I left. You guys coulda thrown out all my stuff and I wouldn't of shed a tear." 

"Ha. Wish you coulda told me that sooner ," Dion stretched and held his hands together behind his head, "I hauled all your shit from the caravan up to your new place, pretty spacious by the way, enough space to set up your tent again if you wanted some privacy. I guess you haven't been there yet- but it's a sort of open concept living situation with all your little…" Dion struggled to find the word, " Friends? Coworkers? That one with the glasses kinda creeped me out the way she cozzied up to dad yesterday and mom today." 

"Oh, Norma?" Lili perked up, "She's actually pretty nice, she's just kinda… awkward. She isn't really good at first impressions." 

I guess I should let Dion know about the other handkerchiefs,  "Well, Nona approved of Norma and Lizzie too-" 

"What the hell, Raz ? " Dion shot me a horrified look, "Dude, they are like in their 30's or something… What is Nona Thinking?"

Oh my god, "No, Dion. Just no. " I grimaced, "Lizzie has hydrokinesis like Nona," Dion furrowed his brow in confusion, "They both have water powers. And Lizzie's older sister, Norma, reminds Nona of her sister Merona. So Nona named them Hands of the Galochio family." Say that 3 times fast.

" Hands , huh?" Dion scratched his head, "If I remember correctly that just means we have to send them Christmas cards and stuff. I guess that's cool. But, seriously, Lizzie and Norma? " Dion said the names like they left a bad taste in his mouth, "They sound like spinster cat-ladies who go to the supermarket to complain about produce prices just to have someone to talk to. What's their last names?" 

"Natividad." I mean, that was an oddly particular metaphor but it kind of fits. 

"Natividad? What is with this place… " Dion shrugged his shoulders and looked at Lili, "What's your last name?" 

"Zanotto." Lili said, she arched her brow. 

"Huh. Lili Zanotto and Razputin Aquato ." Dion giggled through his nose, "That's actually super cute." 

Uh, "Thanks, Dion." I guess, I looked at Lili, "Welp, you got Dion's approval. Not that it really matters to me, if any of my family disapproved of you I would just disown them. I already did run away from home, after all." 

"Dude," Dion let loose a low whistle, "You're one stone-cold kid, Raz." He sighed, "But I guess that must mean you really like her, and I cannot get in-between that. It wouldn't sit right with me," He patted my shoulder, "Even if mom disapproved, I would still be in your corner." 

"Holy shi- er," My stomach almost jumped out of my mouth, "Thanks, Dion." I smiled at Lili who was pretty red with embarrassment, "Oh, crap. Sorry, Lili! I didn't mean to embarrass you or anything!" I scratched the back of my head, "You just mean a lot to me, is all." 

"You don't embarass me, Raz. I would never be ashamed of you or your actions. You dumb-ass stupid head ," She got up from the seat and punched me in the shoulder, this time pretty lightly, "But- you are not disowning your family. Family means a lot to me too, so I'd like to be on good terms with yours. So if I catch you saying anything like that again I'll probably do somethin really mean. Like…" Lili looked at Dion for help, he just shrugged and mouthed murder him? , "Okay? Probably not kill you. But, uh, I won't like it and I'll be upset! " 

"Alright, I promise to keep completely cutting off ties with my family off the docket going forward," I nodded my head, "If getting my family to like you is something you really care about then I don't mind swallowing my pride and compromising who I am to make you not upset." 

"Okay, well- don't do that. I don't want you to hav-" Lili sighed and shook her head, "We can talk about this later, in private." 

"Yeah," I figure we should think about stuff before talking things out, probably healthier to get your emotions sorted out and have some time to be able to convey them in a way that tracks, "I'm kinda new to this whole relationship thing, so thanks for being patient with me." 

"Sure. You're my first boyfriend too, Raz. This is kinda confusing, so I'm glad we're in this together." Lili turned her attention to Dion, "Did you and Gisu sign a prenup? I also feel like having a joint bank account might be a bit too much , would just a savings account work out better? Or should we just throw the same amount of money into a savings bond that matures when we retire?" 

I had some questions too, "When approaching disagreements on little complications should you address them on the spot or wait a little bit later? Like, let's say I chew gum with my mouth open and this upsets Lili, would it be okay to talk about it then and there or to bring it up again later? I feel like bringing it up later might make the other party feel like you've been bubbling up with resentment over it, even if it really wasn't that big a deal for them. Also- you watch more sports than me, what's third base and what does it have to do with dating?" 

Dion sighed, "I guess you guys are pretty compatible." Dion scratched the back of his head, "Listen, you guys are worrying too much. Quit focusing about, like, crazy made up situations and just… enjoy the time you share with each other," A non-answer, typical, I smiled as though he was being helpful, "And- third base is when you hold hands and kiss at the same time. Duh." Dion rolled his eyes, of course , at least he's useful for something. 

Gisu quickly levitated from underneath the engine with her back on the skateboard and jumped up, "Dude. Wha- " She immediately saw us raise our eyebrows, "Er. Yeah. You kids just have fun holding hands, uh, physical contact is good in the early stages of a relationship. Like, training a dog or something," Gisu reached up to scratch Dion behind his ears and he rolled his eyes, "Okay," She quickly dragged the quilt with the two last pieces underneath the engine and hiked her thumb over her shoulder, "Last two pieces before I slam it in, you two get outta here. Dion, could you ha-" Dion handed her a clean towel, "Er, wow, thanks." She quickly took a glance at us and raised her eyebrows and jerked her head towards Dion while he was distracted with polishing off the grime from the Psi-spanner, we both nodded and tugged on our collars, "I am about to be cussing. A lot. And I don't need you two to see me like this." 

"Alright, see you two later!" Lili walked off in a random direction. We probably should've asked for directions. 

"Oh, and Raz?" I turned around to meet Gisu, "Grab me my CD collection, it's in the black binder with my stuff." 

Er, I don't really feel comfortable looking through her stuff, but luckily Dion came in clutch, "It's probably in the red duffe- er, scratch that, Morris is probably looking through it so go ask him." Dion chuckled at the look Gisu was giving him, "J-just a guess! Haha… ha…"

"Uh. Okay, will do." I quickly ran to catch up with Lili. Also Dion's second-ESP-puberty thing is giving me a lot of second-hand embarrassment. 

Chapter Text

You know, I'd like to say I would feel uncomfortable wandering around a huge ass cruise ship with no map but it's actually pretty cool. I had a habit of wandering around towns and cities back when I was with the caravan, the locals usually ignored me or actively tried their hardest not to get near me. I didn't have a whole lot of free time back then and usually spent it honing my psychic powers in parks or empty parking lots, it was kinda lonely but the unceasing stray thoughts of locals kept me company. But, I'm not alone now. Lili's hand is very warm, I'm glad I have gloves on so I don't get her hand all gross from my sweat. Not that I'm nervous or anything. 

"What do you think is in these boxes?" We stopped in front of a stacked array of metal containers, Lili held her hand against one of them and concentrated, "I'm not really getting anything... " 

I squinted at the box she was touching, "I think that one is stuff for mining." 

"Wh-whoa, Raz!" Lili exclaimed, "How did you know that? I think some of these are lined with psilirium or something…" 

Psilirium ? That's wild, "Uh, at least that's what the label says," I pointed to a printed out paper on the side that read PSITANIUM EXCAVATOR, "Don't know why Otto would line them with something as dangerous as psilirium though…" 

Speaking of extracting psitanium I was able to whip out the ol' dowsing rod after I turned in all the stuff Norma asked me to pick up for her yesterday. Found a good handful of incredibly pure specimens in the early morning. Smooth round stones that I found in the water, makes me kinda wanna take up diving now that I know the curse isn't real. I wonder if they were polished by the running water or ambient psychoreactive currents or something, might have to ask Otto or Ford. They glow in a way more intense purple and pink, and if you hold them up to the sunlight they start to "eat away" at color and become transparent. I'm thinking of putting them inside a shadow box display alongside some of the prettier arrowheads I kept for my personal collection.

"I mean," Lili shrugged her shoulders and continued walking, "Otto probably knows how to handle the stuff. I mean, he is the only Psychonaut crazy enough to mess with it. I did some research while dad was… you know ," Lili sighed and I gripped her hand a little harder, I can't imagine how scary that was for her, "Psilirium messes with a psychic's mind, except for yours, might wanna keep that to yourself unless you want Otto to poke around in there." 

I bobbed my head left and right in consideration, "On one hand I don't really like having my brain out of my body, but I also think that ensuring we have ways to protect ourselves against it is kinda important…" I gave a sad smile to Lili, "I don't want any of you to be in danger like back in the Rhombus." 

Lili's hand heated up a considerable amount, luckily she caught herself before our gloves caught on fire, "T-thanks, Raz. I appreciate how far you'd go to protect me, but I also don't want anyone poking around my boyfriend's brain but me ." She quickly cleared her throat, "But if Otto does wanna run some experiments I'll keep an eye on him…" She shook her head as we walked, letting her free hand brush the containers, "Some of them are protected by psilirium, and some by psitanium, I think it's to keep any errant psychoreactive waves from contaminating or compromising the machinery or do-dads in the boxes…" She took a wild guess, and I nodded. That kinda makes sense, but there is a chance of Otto just having the stuff around just for the hell of it.

One extra large and secured looking container stood out, an almost comedic number of psycho-hazard stickers obscured the soft purple glow of the metal. That's probably full of psilirium, the large WARNING: PSILIRIUM sign that pointed to the box was a big clue. Another box stood to the side issued out a orange and yellow haze of light, a circle about 10 feet around it was made with caution tape affixed to the concrete floor, a large sign read WARNING: JANITORIAL SUPPLIES hung from the high ceiling and pointed down at the box. 

"Ugh, it is kinda scary that we have this stuff on board," Lili shook her head, "But I guess I trust Otto enough for him to not be secretly evil or something." 

"Yeah," We finally made our way to a door and both turned around to take a final look at the impossibly large warehouse full of mysterious boxes, or at least that's what they look like on face value. "Half the boxes are just furniture and bed sheets and a quarter is his vinyl collection. The last quarter is crazy Psychonaut tech and materials. I think Otto is way too eccentric and dedicated to his work to even bother with being evil." I shrugged my shoulders, "And he's a nice guy." 

Next to the door was a small desk and a chair, a single Tiffany lamp illuminated a clipboard. A large medical supply cabinet hung above an eye-wash station next to a long line of lockers. Tucked in the corner was an odd looking shower lined with tiles that looked like they were composed of psitanium. The papers attatched to the clipboard are probably really stupid, but I took a seat and squinted at it anyway. Lili took a seat on the desk and I shot her a smirk, "Looks like a little warning guide about the dangers and proper handling of psilirium." I chuckled, I guess Lili was right about answers and information popping up inconsequentially.

"This would've been helpful a couple days back," Lili sighed and read along with me. 

OTTO SAYS: "If it's purple it's no hurdle, but it's yellow let it mellow!"

Psilirium and Psychic's don't mix! Make sure you stay at least 15 feet away from uncovered Psilirium containers if you do not have on any Personal PsychoProtevtive Equipment! If you must handle Psilirium in an event of a containment breach ensure that you CLOSE your EYES! Remember, OTTO SAYS: "If you're only closing 2 eyes, you're missing your third!" 

Warning: Closing your eyes will not lessen the long and short term effects of Psilirium poisoning! Ensure you enter a Psilirium Decontamination Chamber within 3 minutes of exposure. Hope you did your stretches!

Effects of Psilirium Poisoning:

• Loss of Psychokinetic powers
• Confusion
• Dampening of motor skills
• Predilection towards Electro-Swing music
• Hallucinations
• Waking nightmares
• Dreaming daymares
• Brain Eczema

If you can: please ask a non-psychic to assist you in handling Psylirium, and let Otto know if they gain psychic powers.

We are pretty sure Psilirium gives non-psychics temporary psychic powers, but don't know for sure. If so, that'd be a big deal. We just don't know any non-psychics, we should probably get out more- but are a bit too shy.

In the event of exposure DON'T:

• Panic

• Raise your voice

• Attempt to use ANY Psychic abilities (unless if you have taken and passed Psilirium Crisis Training)

• Listen to Electro-Swing music

• Touch the point of contact with unexposed skin

DO:

• Make your way to a Decontamination Center

• Alert your supervisor

• Chill out

• Make peace with any higher powers/swear revenge on those who have wronged you

• Apply Psitanium directly on the forehead

• Listen to your favorite music (IT IS NOT ELECTRO-SWING)

Please ask your supervisor for the required Personal PsychoProtective Equipment if needed. All storage facilities or labs must have a minimum of 2 Psilirium Decontamination Centers clearly marked. 

OTTO SAYS: "A good Psychonaut remembers their rights! If you don't wanna touch something, DON'T!"

For more safety fliers please contact your Psychic Workers Union Representative: Kim

"Huh, Kim is our representative?" I wondered out loud, "Hey, did you know her and that dude who really likes bacon are going steady now? That's pretty cool!" Workplace relationships are hard to juggle- or so I've heard, so it's pretty nice to see some folks put themselves out there and take a chance. 

It doesn't really seem like Lili knows who either of those people are, she giggled, "I love the little voices you make whenever you read something," Her voice came out in a rush and she kicked her legs about, "You should, like, do radio or something!" 

"I didn't spend a whole lot of time listening to the radio growing up," I scratched the back of my head, I guess I should let Lili get to know me a little bit better, "Sometimes I'd catch snippets of commuters singing along to songs in their cars when I was sneaking out. Uh," I scratched my head, "The last couple of days have been cool, Morris introduced me to some dope af tracks. I had my dad's old record player back at my tent, but I'd spend most of my allowance on…" I shot an embarrassed look to Lili, "Do you know how True Psychic Tales had a couple of limited edition issues with Read Along 45 records?" 

Lili nodded vigorously and gasped, "Whoa! No way! I only have the bootleg pressing of the Case of the Maltese Frontal Lobe! Jeez, Raz, those are super rare! Not even Adam has one original copy, and he is obsessed with TPT!" 

"Yeah, it got kind of expensive after a while… I have the whole collection, it took me a good 2 years of collecting." And allowance, I shuddered, "But I would stay up late at night just listening to them over and over again, it got to the point where someone could stop the record and I could recite the rest of the record beat-by-beat…" I guess she'd find out how much of a nerd I am sooner or later, "It's pretty dorky, I know- but it made the nights back at the circus feel a little bit… nicer." I was going to say lonely , but that wouldn't be the right word. 

"That's so cool! " Lili's eyes lit up, "Maybe we can listen to them together! Dion said he brought your old stuff up- Wait…" Lili squinted her eyes and threw her fists on her hips, "If I remember correctly you said something about not caring if they threw all your stuff away…" 

"Uh, yeah," I still stand by that and began to recite a Psychonaut tenant, "A good Psychonaut doesn't let themselves become a slave to material possessions, the only thing an agent needs-" 

" Is their mind …" Lili completed the sentence for me and rolled her eyes, "Seriously, Raz- you gotta lighten up once in a while," She let her demenour relax a bit, "You're a goofy guy, but, like, super serious when it comes to being a Psychonaut- don't get me wrong, I think it's totally hot," I let out a sigh of relief and Lili smirked, "But it's okay to act like a kid sometimes, we're, like, 10 years old. If you don't let yourself relax once in a while it might stunt your emotional development or something." She quickly jumped off of the table and made her way to the lockers while my mind spun with the implications of what she just said. 

Oh crap, what if my obsession with being the best Psychonaut agent ever in the history of history causes me to get all weird and messed up in the head! Or worse: what if my brain associates being a Psychonaut with my inner-child and that causes me to associate my work as an agent with childlike illusions of grandeur later on in life! Maybe I should get a hobby or something, like playing the guitar or writing so I can get disillusioned with that instead. 

"Okay, Raz, I don't know what your thinking about- but I bet it's something stupid." I am beginning to think that maybe Lili is psychic, "Why, thank you for finally noticing," It's like we are in sync or something, I'm really glad I met her, "Okay, now you're just trying to embarrass me. Well, good luck, because I don't plan on ever being embarrassed by you. I accept you for who you are, even if you can be a little bit weird about being a Psychonaut- sometimes , most of the time it isn't as worrying." 

"Recieved, I'll take some time to sort it out so we never have to talk about this again." I nodded my head and quickly jotted down a note in my journal to pick up a hobby, maybe I'll get Queepie to teach me some breakdancing moves or something. 

I looked up to see Lili opening up a locker with her name on it. She grimaced and picked up a paper bag and pulled out a oversized T-Shirt labeled " S.S. ATARAXIS- PEACE OF MIND IN THE SKIES", She held it up to her torso and it easily touched the floor, Lili promptly TK'ed it into the trash. "What am I gonna do with this ?" She asked, "I doubt I'm gonna have the space for all this crap back in whatever the heck The Hagfish Room is…" 

"I mean," I quickly took the T-shirt out of the trash and slapped it a bit to get some errant cheese-poof dust off of it, kind of odd that the trashcan had cheese-poofs in it already, "You could maybe use it to wrap up a wound to stop bleeding or tie it around your fists up if you gotta lay the beat down on a bad guy and TK isn't working," I looked around at the incredibly hazardous materials around, "There is some psilirium around- you never know if a bad guy is gonna roll up and gas the place." I shoved the T-shirt in my bag. 

"Uh-huh…" Lili shook her head, "Well, if you get hurt you should just use a first-aid kit, I think you should have one too, check your locker- I really don't need you getting an infection because you used a t-shirt you dug out of the trash for first-aid," She TK'ed a white plastic container up in the air and threw it back in her locker, "I will, however, admit that the lockers are pretty big…" She decided to step into hers, "Excuse me." She shut the door in front of her. 

I guess she needs some alone time, that's perfectly healthy. 

A row of 8 lockers, looking at the nametags I found it odd that each of us Junior Agents and Lili had our own lockers. Last time I checked I didn't sign up to work part-time as a janitor on a cruise ship, but if Otto is going to let us crash here for free then I don't mind helping out a little bit. My locker was the one closest to the exit on the left, I would say that it's because Otto ordered them alphabetically-but Lili's is right next to mine. This would be an odd thing to get upset about, so I just shrugged my shoulders. The lockers are big- probably about the size of a regular door. I opened mine up. 

Inside was a hung up hooded purple jumpsuit- thankfully in my size. I unhooked it from the hanger to take a closer look. PSILIRIUM CLEAN SUIT in large lettering on a slip of paper scotch-taped to the front let me know that this is probably my first and last line of defense against psilirium. Also on the clothes rack was an odd ski-mask looking pair of goggles, I took them down to stare at my reflection in the purple glass lens. Dion was right- I do look like some kind of space pirate. I sighed and rolled up the jumpsuit to throw into my bag and wrapped up the goggles in the spare T-shirt so they won't get scratched up. 

Around hip level was a chest of metal drawers, on top was a lock in plastic blister packaging. Probably for the locker- but I don't plan on keeping anything important in here so I just threw the lock in my bag. Inside the top drawer was a paper bag, I quickly withdrew my S.S. Ataraxis shirt out and set it to the side. In the darkness of the locker I saw that the shirt glowed in the dark, quite possibly the coolest and most high-tech piece of Psychonaut Equipment I have ever laid my eyes upon. I quickly folded up the shirt neatly to give to my dad, I think he would like it. Also in the paper bag was a set of stationary, a bundle of post-cards, and a free pen! I giddily stowed them in my bag. In the bottom drawer was a bunch of 3-ring binders filled with information about all the different chemicals and compounds I may encounter on the ship, a sticky note in Otto's handwriting read: "Remember your rights as a member of the Psychic's Workers Union!" which made things a bit more confusing. I'm not entirely sure if this ship is a Psychonaut Facility that happens to be sponsored by Otto or is literally just a cruise ship. 

A brochure would've been nice, or a map. I closed my locker with a sigh. 

"Well?" Lili asked from behind me, "How do I look?" 

I turned around and smiled, it looks like she put on her clean-suit over her clothes. She opted to wear my jacket over the iridescent purple coveralls, the purple hood poking out from the back of the collar. Around her neck were the cool looking ski-goggles. She wore the handkerchief Nona gave her as a hairband, the triangular piece of fabric framing her pigtails and accentuating the symmetry of her head.

She looked really good, I TK'ed out the Otto-Matic, "Could you spin around for me?" She raised an eyebrow and did a quick spin, I held my hand up to my chin, "Actually, the lighting is kinda bad here-," I motioned for her to move a bit back, "Er, could you stand in front of that white storage container?", Lili blinked and nodded and stepped backwards, "Alright, now turn maybe ⅔'rds to the left and smile?" She sighed and shot a smile, a little bit too forced- but I mean, she doesn't need to smile to look great, "Okay, uh, interlock your fingers in front of you and bring them to hip level," She quickly looked around and opened and closed her mouth, but sighed and followed the directions, "Now could you stand on one leg? Just bring your foot up a little- Yeah, just liiiike that." I took mental inventory of the photos, "Yeah! These turned out great! Just wish I could figure out something for the lighting…" 

I quickly printed out the last one we took and used the scotch tape from the label of my coveralls to affix it to the inside of my locker. Lili stomped forward, "Wait? You were taking photos of me?" 

"Uh, yeah?" Kinda thought that was obvious, "Sorry, was that weird? I just thought it would be cool to open up my locker and see you looking back at me." 

"I- Yeah, I guess it was kinda obvious. I thought you were just doing a bit or something," Lili grumbled and snatched the camera from my hand, "Your turn, jerk!" 

I don't know how I'm a jerk, but I guess I should be more mindful of our bounda- I felt a wetness on my cheek and heard a snap. 

" Oh my god… you look so adorable…" Lili ran over to her locker and put our photo in, I squinted my eyes at it- It looks as though the kiss took me by surprise, but I'm kinda used to unflattering photos, Lili smiled and handed the camera back to me, "I gotta get me one of these…" 

I quickly handed the Otto-Matic back to her, "You can borrow mine if you'd like- I already took all the photos I'll ever need just now."

She quickly turned red, "Oh… thanks, Raz. I appreciate it." What's mine is hers, I don't mind sharing if it's with Lili, she took a deep breath, "But I don't have my bag with me- so just keep it in yours and I'll ask for it if I wanna use it." I nodded, I guess I'm the dude who wears the purse in this relationship.

Kinda messed up, but I'm not going to complain about it. 

"Alright," I took the camera back from Lili and put it back in the bag and approached the door, "Are you ready for whatever madness lies behind this door?" 

"Hell yeah!" Lili announced she quickly threw in the goggles and took a step forward to push open the large double-doors- only to miss completely and almost flip over the desk, "Whoops!" She tore the goggles off and grimaced at them, "I can't see shit in these!" 

"Yeah," I took her hand and TK'ed open the door, "It takes a while to get used to." We took the step into the next room. 

"Whoa!" Sam yelled over the mechanical screech of an egg-beater, "You guys look like freakin' Space Pirates! " 

Compton cut the egg-beater and gave us a smile, "Yes, you two look quite Dashing and Daring !" He beckoned us forward, "Now come help us with lunch!" 

Chapter Text

Despite Compton turning off the egg-beater the kitchen was buzzing with the sound of activity. Cassie was currently arguing with Ford over the proper searing techniques of chuck meat, not really paying any mind to the fire alarm blaring and the grill smoking. Sasha Nein was loudly chopping away at ingredients that Otto and Oleander kept chucking at him, the two of them trying their hardest to knock off his sunglasses. Bob and Fulbear oversaw a bubbling array of different stock pots and saucepans. Milla was currently helping my little sister Mirtalla with the ice cream machine.

"Hey, I'm gonna go check on Uncle Bob to go make sure he doesn't burn the place down," Lili shouted in my ear while we both washed our hands at the sink, "Can't let him have all the fun…" She flashed me a quick smile and ducked and dodged her way to her great-uncles. 

I'm glad Bob is back in Lili's life, and that Lili really cares about her family. With all my weird hang-ups when it comes to my family and upbringing it's nice to know that I'm with someone who can kinda understand that family can kinda be complicated . I can't really imagine what it would be like growing up surrounded by Psychonauts, I used to think that it must've been really cool to be surrounded by my idols- and almost felt kinda jealous of Lili in that regard. But now I kinda realized that maybe that upbringing and childhood of her's probably isn't as fun as I thought it was. I'm just glad I can be there for her, if she needs me- she's not made out of porcelain or anything, but everyone needs a helping hand once in a while.

I quickly went up to Agent Boole, "Hey, Chef! Glad we can work together in the kitchen again!" I slapped on my goggles, "So what's on the menu?" The kitchen is a battlefield. I know this after spending time in Compton's noggin, it makes how frustrated mom could get with me whenever I would barge in the kitchen tent when she was cooking a little bit more sense. 

"Ah, a menu ? Not today, dear Razputin!" Compton raised his finger in the air, " Today is a free-for all! Free-form! A time for us to show off our skills as chefs and as Agents!" If this was the old Compton all the noise in here would've probably had adverse effects to the state of our craniums- I'm glad this isn't the old Compton because I like my head un-exploded, "Now, Raz, this isn't a competition or anything-" Compton pat my shoulder and pulled me into whisper, " But my little Sammie has a different idea-"  

Sam slit her eyes and smirked, "Ha- you've got a snowball's chance in hell to beat me, Raz," She swung a whisk at me and I jumped back to dodge errant flecks of pancake batter, "You've seen what I can do with… less-than-stellar ingredients!" Sam let out a mischievous chuckle, "Now, imagine what I can do with edible ingredients! And a stove that actually works! " 

I bobbed my head in consideration. The fact that Sam could make- er, "halfway" would be the wrong word to use here, fifthway edible flapjacks under her mentorship with Oleander means that she could be a competent kitchen combatant. Or at least I thought that until I saw her take a handful of dirt from her pockets to add into the batter. 

"Well," I nodded to Sam, "May the best chef win? I guess? I'm just hungry so don't get too mad at me if I just focus more on eating than trying to beat you."

"Throwing in the towel already, Raz?" Sam shook her head and sighed, "This isn't like you…" 

"She's right," Compton cheerfully slapped my back and went back to beating eggs, "Don't be afraid to share those wonderful skills of yours, Raz! You'd be doing us , and most importantly yourself if you just waste away your potential!" Compton shook his head and flashed me a warm smile, " Trust me on that one, my boy!" 

I guess he's got a point. I cleared my throat, "Alright, I guess it's time for me to make my debut as a chef." It beats being a janitor, I guess, "Er, we wouldn't happen to have any seagulls or songbirds on hand?" Compton blinked and shook his head, "How about squirrels?" Sam and Compton stopped what they were doing and shook their heads slowly, "Welp, I guess I better get to improvising …" I sighed and made my way to the pantry. 

"Hey, hey, hey! If it isn't my favorite customer!" Otto greeted me as he threw a cabbage like a fastball towards Sasha who calmly caught it and began chopping, "How are those pins treating you? I noticed you bought two complete sets!" 

"Yup! Money well spent! I mean- Otto, simple accessories that can benefit a psychic's powers while on the field and on the astral plane?" I shook my head in disbelief, a lot of the old Psychic 7 have no clue over how talented they are, "I just had to get a mint copy of each one! A lot of people don't really think much about it- but, like, packaging is like half the fun of collecting…" 

"Ha!" Otto slapped my back and tossed an egg at Agent Nein, "Now, this kid! This kid right here? He gets it." 

"Yes." Sasha calmly lifted a sashimi knife and cleaved the egg in two, keeping the yolk in each side of the shell with telekinesis, "Raz has very interesting views on the importance of objects and their place in our psyches and collective unconscious." He quickly TK'ed the eggs into some odd pan with divets to hold the eggs over boiling water on the stove. 

"Ah! You got your warcoat on, looking sharp , Cadet!" Coach casually threw a glass bottle at Sasha who quickly caught it and poured a bit of the liquid into a tumbler, "And speaking of collecting- next time we're in my office I got some vintage Psychonaut Field Rations for you to take a look at!" 

"No way! Now that's cool. I only have a 1970's era tin of PSIalmon Patties!" And when I say tin I mean it, I just have the container, "That rules, Coach." I quickly took Coach's place in the oversized pantry to snag some ingredients. 

I took some various cheeses. The cheeses were hard. They smelled kinda cheesy. Listen- I'm not much of a chef. I've bugged my mom enough in the kitchen to know that cooking is mostly just throwing things in a pot and yelling at your son to stop sneaking bites from bread sticks. Sometimes you put salt and pepper on things, and maybe other spices. I took some salt and pepper and some other spices, one of them was dark brown and the other was red. These are good colors to add to food, my mother used spices of similar colors. I also remember her putting herbs into food, both dried and fresh, but that just sounds like way too much to handle right now. I took some linguine, you boil it in water. I know how to boil water, sometimes you are told to put salt in the water to appease the spirits or something to make it boil faster (or better- I'm not sure). I threw the ingredients on top of a big black skillet.

My time in Compton's mind and any cooking prowess displayed was due to someone telling me what to do and time spent watching various cooking shows that I caught on public access on Dion's old portable TV that broke a couple years back. I picked up cooking out of necessity, any techniques you see me using were taught to me by The Junior Psychic's Guide To Psychonauts. Unfortunately, as I was in the process of running away from home, I was not able to follow the directions and cooked without adult supervision. Please do not tell anyone as I could get in trouble for this.

"Ah, are you making an Alfredo sauce?" Otto asked as he opened a bottle and took a swig, "Okay- You might need this, maybe- I'm told my cooking style is a bit iconoclastic …" He grimaced and handed it to me, "Olive oil, or some kind of oil… could be sunflower…" I squinted at the bottle that just read oil, "Either way: good for the hair." 

"Thanks, Otto." I raised an eyebrow, usually mom doesn't use olive oil whenever she makes white sauce pasta- Alfredo , I guess, we just call it white sauce. I quickly made my way to the fridge and opened it up, only to be greeted by Ford falling out of it, "Oh, hey, Ford. Any butter in there? Or some kind of bird? Maybe crow?"

"Er, sure, sonny, lemme just-" Ford reached into his chefs apron as he languished on the floor and retrieved a couple packets of those individually sealed butters that you put on flapjacks and a ketchup packet and placed the slightly wet packets on top of the bundle of ingredients I was carrying in a cast iron skillet, "Here you go- and a word of advice: a good fry cook always taste-tests his food before plating!" He took a bite of a charred hamburger he pulled out of his pocket, "You can-" He spat the carbonized burger into his hand with a grimace and threw the chunk and the burger into the trash, "Much too underdone… Er, you can apply this on the field as well, Cadet. Taste before plating!" I nodded my head before turning my attention to the fridge. 

"Oh, and stop eating corvids!" I looked behind me to see Ford yelling at me from the grill on the other side of the kitchen, I guess he got up fast or something, "You can get worms that way! You do not wanna get worms…" Noted, I don't think you are supposed to eat worms, I think crickets are supposed to be okay. But I dunno much about cooking. 

The fridge is big. Probably the biggest fridge I have ever seen in my life. I quickly took a stick of unmelted butter. I think I need some kind of milk, hopefully the milk in the fridge is from a cow and not a songbird. I have my choice between 2 percent reduced fat milk and something called heavy cream, I decided to opt for the 2% because that's usually what I have with my cereal and it tastes okay. As for meat I grabbed some chicken breasts, luckily sealed with a handy sticker reading "CHICKEN" "MEAT" , the quotations make me feel a bit uncomfortable, but this beggar is not a chooser. I had a tough time bringing the ingredients back to the cutting board, but luckily Sasha cleared a space for me. 

"An Agent of many talents, I see…" Sasha remarked as I set the chicken breasts out on a cutting board, he handed me an incredibly large butcher's knife, "I understand that you might have saved the world five-times over in the past couple of days, but I must supervise you in the kitchen," Agent Nein flashed me a sly smile, "I hope you don't think it's me not trusting you, Agent Aguato." 

I took the heavy as hell blade in my hand and turned it over, trying to get a feel of the weight distribution with Frazzie's knife-throwing lessons playing back in my skull, "I actually appreciate it, Sasha. Er, this is my first time cooking a meal for other people. My elder siblings, Dion and Frazzie, usually did the cooking whenever mom and dad were busy with something…" I quickly got to cutting the white parts off of the chicken- pretty sure it's poison or something, "So I hope I don't embarrass myself too much…"

"Nonsense. You may think of this as pure sophistry but I personally view cooking as one of the activities that is tantamount to understanding one's own capabilities as a psychic-", A barrage of small speckled eggs came flying at Sasha and he caught them all before squinting at them and TK'ing them back into the pantry, "Quail? Maybe for tomorrow's brunch." He directed his attention back to me before placing a handful of ice into a tumbler, " Cooking is a skill that utilizes all six of your senses, Raz. Don't be afraid to break your own self-imposed boundaries." 

"Oh, uh, okay?" I guess he wants me to use my psychic powers to cook or something, which was a pretty good tip- the butcher's knife is way easier to use with telekinesis. I quickly chopped the pink parts of the chicken into suitable strips. Now I have to figure out how to season the chicken with telekinesis, I guess it's a good thing I'm using telekinesis so I don't have to worry about washing my hands from handling the raw meat like the Junior Psychic's Guidebook said I should worry about. 

"Very impressive." Sasha nodded in approval, another bottle came flying at Sasha he caught it with a free hand and poured a bit of it into the tumbler before sealing it and shaking it with TK, "Now, I understand that this is technically a free day of sorts, but could you perhaps spare me another glimmering of information behind… your solving of my button riddle? " He emphasized " button riddle" with air quotes as the metal tumbler shook vigorously in the air.

"Uh, sure," Another pop quiz, that's fine- making conversation was a good way to keep me concentrated on this whole cooking thing, I tried making an astral shield manifest not around my body but in a bubble above my hand, "So we understand that clairvoyance utilizes Zener Fields and the oscillating psychic-resonance that is sent out from each sentient being on the Astral Plane, by focusing our own personal frequencies to match the tones of the signal we are trying to intercept we are able to hijack those frequencies and view them through our 6th sense- but if utilized against another psychic person it's very easy to figure out if you're being watched or not," I finally got an astral shield to manifest outside of my body, but it was much too large- about the size of a standard levitation thought bubble, it almost crashed down on the stainless steel countertop but I canceled it before any damage was done, "Now, our recent breakthroughs in Mental Connections discovered by Agent Forsythe give us another method of observation. 

"Mental Connections constitute semantic constructs that are linked with stray thoughts, these manifest within a person's psyche and can lead to horrible, unethical things if messed with- as I have found out, er, again: I feel bad about that… ", Sasha nodded and poured a frothy drink into a martini glass. I focused a bit more on the astral shield, it took me a couple seconds of blinking and making a concrete thought small enough, but I finally made one- the problem now was that it was a sphere with no opening, "But these semantic constructs are composed of the episodic memories that a person has underwent in order to flesh out and manifest these constructs, they have weight and tangibility in a person's brain matter. As a result they can be manifested in the physical world when these semantic constructs have an associated tangible object," I squinted my eyes at the fist sized astral shield floating in the air and tried prying it into halves with TK, but almost pulled something in my brain from the strain, "This is a discovery Otto found when he invented the Thought Tuner. The ambient stray thoughts and mental connections between places and things that people share manifest themselves in reality. The key here is the multitude of people.

"Utilizing Mental Connections in order to view the semantic summation of a person requires multiple parties making the same links- the same Mental Connections that the target makes. Using guess work isn't really viable," I tried making the astral shield bubble a bit more malleable and pushed in the top point of the circle, an odd tone resonated from it and the top indented into itself- I am making progress! I quickly added a moderate amount of spices into the makeshift bowl and lightly dusted the chicken with the mixture, "In order to go about this method you need to really uh, get into the mindset of the person you are… I think Norma said skiptracing ? Maybe Psi-Tracing? That sounds more applicable." 

"Psi-Tracing… you created the concept, Raz. I think you get to call it what you would like." Sasha flashed me a rare smile and took a sip, I looked around to see Cassie, Ford, Otto, Milla, and Oleander listening in with their jaws dropped. 

"Oh. Huh." I guess Psi-Tracing is a thing I made up, but not by myself, "Also- Don't forget about Norma and Lizzie, they helped me workshop it. I probably wouldn't of gotten it down without them." These concrete thought bubbles were kinda cool, a levitation thought bubble is kinda floaty but these are super dense, the neat thing about these is that they do not move unless you concentrate real hard, I gave Agent O'Pia a smile and a nod, "I got a lot of the ideas from your Dream Interceptors! The way that they buzz whenever a change in the Zener Field happens- that's cuz they all have an oscillating frequency that boosts each other making fluctuations from clairvoyance easy to pick up on. I tried to figure out a way to get around that and came up with the whole Psi-Tracing thing!" 

"My, that is wonderful, Raz!" Cassie cheered, "To think you'd come up with a whole new method of Psychic observation just because of a little arts and crafts project of mine is just… invigorating !" Agent O'Pia gave a small cheer and hopped on one foot to another.

"Holy guacamole…" Ford raised his eyebrows, " Hooo . Too bad SemantiMan isn't kicking around anymore, I'd love to just let the boy loose on him…" 

"Oh, you just know this boy of ours would just clown on that SemantiMan… almost makes me wanna take his brain out of the BrainFrame just to watch him squirm," Otto gave out a uproarious laugh, "But I just can't stand that pompous jerk enough to warrant it!" He shared a laugh with Ford and the two started wheezing and mocking the out of commission villain. 

"Hm… Mental Connections, huh…" Oleander squinted his eyes and let out a chuckle, "Gives me some… ideas …" 

"Oh, please. Stop trying to take over the world on our free day, Oleander." Milla rolled her eyes and gave me a small hug, "That is fantastic , Raz! For you Junior Agents to have a breakthrough like this in just a short amount of time… hold on, let me make a call, darling…" Milla excused herself out of the kitchen and into the dining area. 

"Wow, Raz! That sure was some big words!" I looked down to see my little sister Mirtala beaming at me, "I guess homeschooling was the right idea after all!" 

"No," I quickly and vigorously shook my head, "I think it should be within our best interests to get you and Queepie into a public school so you guys can have friends and better fit into society, that way you don't end up a weirdo like me." I am terrified of the idea of my little siblings having to grow up in the circus like me, Dion and Frazzie are lost causes but my little siblings? I just want them to have a fun childhood. 

"Nah, school is for nerds!" Ford offered her a fistbump that she happily reciprocated, "Plus- you aren't a weirdo at all, Raz! You've got a job, like an adult . And you're only 10 ! If anything, to me you're like the opposite of weird! You're, like, too normal!" She shook her head and waved an ice cream cone in my face, "It's worrying to me! You are too much in a rush to be an adult!" 

"Listen, Mirtala," I sighed and bent on my knees to face her while I TK'ed an amount of butter into the pan I placed on a flat concrete thought bubble, "It is kind of worrying me that you think that I'm normal. But I guess that's more my fault than anything…" I started to slowly heat up the pan with pyrokinesis, "Uh, honestly I just want you to have friends so you can show them how cool you are, and stuff." 

"Raz, Raz, Raz…" Mirtala shook her head sadly, "We are circus performers , what do I care if people think I'm cool off the clock ? That just sounds exhausting . I don't care if some rando townies think I'm cool or not. Plus-" She threw her hands in the air, "Where are we gonna get the monies? It don't grow on trees! We don't got no monies for schoolin'!" Her grammar and dictation sent a cold shiver down my spine. 

"Otto," I stood up and faced the scientist, "I have some very interesting psitanium specimens from my personal collection that I am looking to sell. They eat away at color." I took a glance at my little sister before TK'ing the seasoned chicken strips into the hot pan, "I need to get my younger siblings an education." 

"Wha- you've got Ur-Psitanium? Specimens? In plural? " Ford spoke in a rush, "My goodness, kid, how the heck are you so good at that dowsing rod?" Well, it's probably because I'm from a fortune telling family but I'm not prepared enough to come to terms with that. 

"Well, if you really are willing to part with them I can probably do about four thousand dollars an ounce. But if the purity is that good … well," Otto scratched his head and laughed, "Boy! I know I shouldn't get my hopes up- but I'll be damned if you haven't surprised us before!" 

"C'mon, Raz! I know you got your ringmaster coat cuz you got a salary or whatever, but quit bossing me around! You don't even live with us anymore!" Mitrala was throwing a tantrum, which is rare coming from her- I guess I was the problem child, "You're sounding like mom and dad! " Oof, that almost got me to lose my concentration. 

But luckily, I let out a sigh of relief, it didn't. I TK'ed some milk into the cast iron skillet while grating in some cheese while Mitrala's outburst rebounded in my skull. Yikes. "Jeez, I'm sorry, Mitrala. I just worry about you a lot and want the best for yo-" Crap, now I really sound like mom, I sighed, "Alright, if you don't wanna go to school I'm not gonna force you or anything. And honestly I doubt mom and dad would be okay with shipping you off to some fancy-shmancy boarding school- or settling down in the suburbs …" I shuddered at the thought of my family living in a cul-de-sac while I tasted some of the sauce, it could use some more pepper. 

"I know your big brother can be kinda silly some times! But if you just stand your ground he'll fall over." Lili was here now and gave a warm smile to Mitrala. 

"I know," Mitrala giggled and rolled her eyes, "You must be Lili! Frazzie told me that you are Raz's girlfriend! That's funny!" How is that funny. 

"Haha, yeah," Lili laughed, how is it funny, "It's funny how things work out," Seriously, what's funny about me having a girlfriend, "It's nice to finally meet you though! I hope we can be friends!" 

"Yeah! Hey, do you wanna make some ice cream with me? They say I need supervision to use the machine, but I can see just fine without glasses." Mitrala shook her head, "Adults…" She flashed me a smirk and took Lili's hand, "They think they know everything …"

Lili flashed me a large smile and a thumbs up before skipping to the ice cream machine with Lili, "Mitrala! Uh, don't ruin your appeti-" Man, know I'm all self-conscious about sounding like my mom, "Er. Have fun!" I gave them a weak smile and Mitrala blew a raspberry at me. 

Bob pat me on the back, "Hey, good on you for looking out for your family, kid. You only got one . Oh, and I don't think it's funny that you're dating our little Lili, it kinda makes sense. You're a good kid, Raz. If you're going to have a complex about something," Bob sighed and gave a small laugh, "At least make it something, ya know, actually worth havin' a complex over." Bob looked around, "Er, is that good advice? I'm not really used to, like, giving advice…" 

"No," Cassie smiled and shook her head, "That was horrible. But great effort, Bob!" All the adults shared a laugh, I just opened and closed my mouth- I mean, I thought it was good advice but now I'm starting to have a complex abou-, "Raz. Dear. Don't get any complex! Just be complex! Embrace your complexity! " Oh yeah, I think I learned this already, "Don't worry your little head about little things like what-ifs ! It'll all sort itself out- probably completely inconsequentially and maybe serendipitously! Just ride the wave!" Uh, huh, now I'm pretty sure that's good advice that can be applicable to some cases, but also bad advice in other cases. I am also beginning to think that adults just say and do things arbitrarily. 

"I will keep that in mind!" I flashed a warm smile to O'Pia, she could probably just say whatever she wants and I'd think it's the coolest thing on the planet because she's cool, she can talk to bees. I need to work on the noodles now, the sauce and chicken are done. Against my better judgment I manifested my archetype. 

"HEYA, BIG MAN, WHATCHA NEED? OOOOOOOOH! KNIIFEKNIFEKNIFEKNIFE-" I bashed the little bastard with a wooden spoon as he made towards the butcher's knife, "OH COME ON, BOSS! I THOUGHT TODAY WAS GONNA BE THE DAY WE GET REVENGE ON EVERYO-"  

I TK'ed again a little harder with the spoon to shut him up before giving a nervous smile to everyone, "Okay, no. Revenge is not on the menu, today at least. Go get some water boiling on the stove so we can cook-" 

"THE PEOPLE WHO WRONGED US! ALL THE MEAN BOYS AND GIRLS WHO MADE FUN OF OUR BIG HEAD!" I hit him again. 

"No, dude. To cook noodles." I TK'ed him the noodles and he snatched them, " Aldente. And if you break them I break your legs."

My archetype rolled his eyes, "SUUUURE, BOSS. WE BOTH KNOW THAT WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WE'RE DOING." He scampered off to find a suitable pot. 

"Raz," Compton sniffed the air, "That smells absolutely delicious, what is that?" He took a look at the saucepan and my ingredients, "Hmmm. Chinese Allspice and Hungarian Paprika? My, fusion cuisine! How chic!" 

Truman opened up the double doors into the kitchen and panted, "Jeez, Agent Aquato. Wh- uh, oh boy," Truman stretched as he stepped into the kitchen, Norma, Lizzie, and Milla followed behind him, "I really need to start doing yoga before levitating or something," He doubled over and let out a cough, Lili rolled her eyes and walked up to him and pat her dad's back, "Uh, Raz. I am here to recognize your achievements in Mental Connections and award-" Truman straightened his back and pointed at the astral shield concrete thought bubble, "What is that? "

"Uh, an astral shield bubble I manifested outside my body by focusing on a concrete thought bubble and made a bit malleable." I took a final taste of the chicken, perfect, "I'm just waiting on the noodles now, I made white sauce pasta for lunch. Did you want any, Agent Zanotto?" 

"Wha- that's insane, Raz…" Truman wiped sweat off his face and ran is hands through his hair, "That's…" He sighed and started laughing, "I guess that's two pay-scale increases for you!" I guess I'm a pretty good chef or something if I'm getting a raise out of some chicken.

||No, you dork!|| Lili shook her head and sighed, ||The weird concrete thought thing!|| Oh yeah, I guess that makes sense.

Chapter Text

Apparently me figuring out how to use and view Mental Connections on the corporeal plane is a big deal, big enough to get me a raise. I thought it was our job as Psychonauts to be pioneers of the astral plane and to plot out the final frontier that is the psyche, or at least that's what the Whispering Rock Summer Camp brochure said (more or less), so I didn't think I was doing anything special. I'd recite the brochure right now but I've got more important things to deal with. 

"Yes, a concrete thought bubble." I manifested one on top of the kitchen counter and tapped it, a relaxing tone echoed throughout the now silent kitchen, "Basically, a levitation thought bubble is just the physical manifestation of blissful thoughts. Levitation proved to kinda become second nature to me, I can thank Agent Vodello for her help with that." I gave a wave to Milla and she smiled and nodded. I know brown-nosing isn't the best look for a newcomer, but I gotta give credit where credit is due. "So the shield that I utilized during my first, uh- mission?" I looked at Ford for an indication of what I should call saving the campers and the world three days ago, he just shrugged his shoulders, "When that whole thing at Summer Camp happened, was taught to me by the sentient mutated fish, Linda." Truman open and closed his mouth and looked around, Sasha and Milla simply nodded which confused the Grand Head further, "Basically I didn't have a proper understanding of the skill because I didn't have a proper lesson in it, so that's why yesterday kinda caught me off guard and I took way more hits than I should have." 

"So, you employed the same methods of making a levitation thought bubble to externalize a concrete thought…" Norma interrupted my cool speech and went up and started tapping the orange bubble, "So, if levitation is based on the premise of using happy thoughts," Norma spat out the word like it was nasty, "To lift yourself up. And an astral shield is the externalization of a psychic's will to protect oneself- you just made a bubble that… protects something else? A protected thought?" Norma immediately threw a wallet she pulled out of her back pocket and placed it on the kitchen countertop. 

What the hell is she even doing. "Uh, no?" I tried to get her to stop concentrating on the small plastic bi-fold but she wasn't listening, "It's exactly what it is, a concrete thought. A complete concept. Not a, uh-" I squinted my eyes, I swear that the wallet blinked out of existence, "A secret ." Wait. I'm pretty sure that's how invisibility works. 

"Just let Raz finish his dumb little school lesson, Norma." Lizzie shook her head and started banging on the thought bubble with wooden spoons, "So, what? You just thought of a thing ? Like a semantic construct again? Why do we call it that, anyways? It's just, like, thinking of a thing . It's nothing special." Lizzie put down one spoon and manifested a baseball sized concrete thought, this one green, "See. I just thought of a lime . It's green, like a lime." She quickly hit it with the spoon- towards me. 

I ducked in time and Sam caught the ball with telekinesis, "Huh. That's pretty handy. A psychic lime." She tried cutting it with a fruit knife, only for the blade to bounce off, "Okay, Lizzie? This isn't ripe enough," Sam sadly shook her head, "What am I supposed to do with this?" She threw the ball in the trash and Lizzie gasped. 

"Dude, what the heck? That was my psychic lime! My first ever concrete thought!" Lizzie groaned in indignation, she went back to the trash and started digging, "Maybe you don't care about stuff like that, but I do!" She quickly poked her head up after realizing what she just said, "I mean. Uh. Nah. I don't care at all. About anything. Because I'm cool." She brushed cheesey-poof dust she collected from the trash off of her arms and leaned against the door frame. 

Uh-huh, I turned my attention back to Truman, "It's pretty much what Lizzie said. I guess there are some similarities between this and Mental Connections, like externalizing a thought- but it's not exactly a semantic construct. It's more like drawing upon a concrete… uh," Man, I am getting tired of using these big words, adults got it tough, "Memory? Like an actual phenomenon that happened to you, or an experience that you can draw upon." Jeez, it is hard giving lectures, Sasha, Milla, and Coach should get paid more, "There isn't any link between the concrete thought or anything else, it exists by itself." 

"A contingency . Actual phenomenon." Sasha nodded and flicked his hand, three large concrete thought bubbles manifested above them, he moved one with a free hand and stared at it as it floated in the air, "Wow. This requires… a lot of concentration." Yeah, probably because he made three appear instead of one- but that's just what Sasha is like. 

"Uh huh," Truman made a small green sized sphere appear in his hand, "It is quite easy to manifest if you follow Lizzie's instructions, Agent Nein! Ha! Just think of a lime! " Soon everyone save Mitrala held up psychic limes, they all nodded.

Coach dropped his and it fell with a loud crash, dust flew up, "By Golly! These little green devils have some heft to them! Just think of the destructive capabilities!" 

"Ah, solid. Concrete! Like a marble!" Milla smiled and ruffled my helmeted head, " Well done , Raz! I'm glad I was able to help with your discovery!" 

"Alright," Norma spoke up, I absolutely forgot she was here, "I think I got it. Raz." I squinted my eyes at her slit lids, she was up to something, "Just try to find me." Norma was then no longer here. 

"Er, Sasha, I don't remember you ever teaching Norma about invisibility…" Truman shot Sasha an uneasy look after scanning the surroundings.

"Hm? Yes. I suppose I was more focused on teaching her the mechanics and philosophy behind psychic phenomenon," Sasha adjusted his glasses, and looked around, "But judging from the fact that I can no longer detect her presence, even with ESP, leads me to the conclusion that she doesn't really require my tutelage in practical applications of theory ." He flashed Truman a warm smile, "I am quite proud of her- and all my other students." 

"Huh." Truman blinked, "Well… if you trust your students well enough to run around and make up new psychic powers and gain access to a form of invisibility that may or may not be impenetrable, then I trust you. I guess." Truman let out a tired sigh and gave me a smile, "Anyways, congratulations on your continued breakthroughs on the astral plane. I am both impressed and terrified. You somehow managed to gain enough merit on your first paid day of being a full-time agent and got a 3.5 percent raise. On your day off." Truman grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and held it to his forehead, "So. Uh. Please, take it easy for the rest of the day." I gave him a salute since I had no idea how to reply to all of that.

"Okay, Raz." Lizzie ran up to me with eyes darting around, "Where the fu-" She stopped cussing when I clicked my tongue and bobbed my head to Mitrala, Lizzie cleared her throat and gave Mitrala an awkward wave, Mitrala just tilted her head and ate some more ice cream, "- Frick is Norma. We can't have an invisible Norma. I don't even like visible Norma." Her hat started smoking and she jumped into a combat pose, "Seriously. I need you to do something about this. It's probably your fault for giving her the idea." 

I rolled my eyes and threw up my hands in defense, "Yeah. What? All I did was tell her how to make psychic limes and she started talking about manifesting secrets." But I also do not want an invisible Norma, I sighed, "Lemme see what I can do…" I looked around at all the senior agents in attendance, "Any leads?" 

"Hm, I'd say to work on your presentation a bit, the plating leads a bit to be desired-" Compton set down a fork to the side of a plastic container lid that precariously held a bundle of slopped on noodles, "But as for the taste? A 10 out of 10! You are a fantastic chef, Sasha here told me that this was your first time cooking for other people- outside of a mental landscape that is. You have got the gift , my young chef!" 

Is it normal to want to beat a mental projection of yourself to death with a brick? I looked around to see everyone chowing down on my food. I'm glad I made enough for everyone but I kinda wish my archetype didn't serve it on, I squinted my eyes at Coach Oleander's plating, garbage pail lids and, in Otto's case, a laminated workplace safety poster.

"I must disagree with you, Agent Boole." Sasha Nein set down two plastic straws, I gulped, he intertwined his fingers together in contemplation, "Served on aluminum foil . Two drink straws to be used as chopsticks . This is…" Sasha's stone face broke into a sly smile, " Post-Modern cuisine at its finest. A hearty meal, something made with a child's hands. But these hands? Calloused . This isn't naivety that fuels this dish but the worldview of a young man who has seen suffering with their own three eyes, and from that- invention . A will to rise above the ripples set in motion from those before him, a will to go against the grain of conformity and tap into that primal root ." Sasha took another mouthful, "Also- it is quite tasty." 

"Yeah…" Sam rolled her eyes, "You win this time , Raz…" She sighed, "You only won because I made pancakes, a breakfast food , for lunch." She stomped up to me and shoved a forkful of flapjacks in my mouth, they tasted kinda like fake crab and licorice but the texture was there, " Next time you won't be as lucky ." She whispered into my ear menacingly and went back to eating the white sauce pasta served to her in a beer stein before cheering, "But it is really tasty, though! I might ask for the recipe later!" 

"Are you eating that out of a cup? Where is that annoying jerk-" I looked around for my archetype before Lizzie caught me. 

"Okay, yeah this is really good-" Lizzie slurped a noodle, out of a bowl, a regular bowl, she waved a large serving fork holding a chicken piece in my face, it did smell kinda good, "But, Norma. I can't find her anywhere, and I'm kinda freaking out about this." She burped and casually took a swig from a water bottle, "Dude, actually- wait for lunch to be over, I kiiinda want her to miss out on this. Teach her a lesson."

My archetype snuck up behind her, " SORRY, LIZZIE. THAT'S YOUR NAME RIGHT?" She nodded her head, " YEAH, WELL I SET ASIDE A PLATE FOR NORMAL, OR WHATEVER HER NAME IS, AND WHEN I LOOKED BACK IT WAS GONE. SO THAT WAS PROLLY HER, ORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I JUST ATE HER SERVING. CUZ I DON'T RESPECT HER. CUZ SHE WAS MEAN TO US." 

"Well, which one is it?" Lizzie asked my archetype who just burped in return, "Okay, Raz? I kinda dig this lil vindictive dude." Lizzie gave my archetype a fistbump and turned to face me, "He reminds me of you, a little." Well, that's kind of the point. 

"Hey, we need to be nice to Norma." I sighed to myself, myself grimaced back at me, "Dude, don't give me that look- Lili said so." My archetype shot a confused look at me, "I know, I know," I shook my head, "But we do not like getting Lili upset." I am probably going to regret saying the next part, and myself is probably going to regret having to hear it, "And also: Norma isn't that bad. She's… our friend. And… we don't have a lot of those." 

" ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, I'LL GET NERMAL A PLATE. JUST DON'T MAKE ME HAVE TO FEED HER. I DON'T LIKE THE WAY HER MOUTH MOVES. ALSO- IF YOU START GETTING ALL SWEET ON HER I WILL NO LONGER THINK OF YOU AS MY CLONE." Good, because he's my clone, " GUESS AGAIN, GOGGLE BOY. I HEARD THAT. YOU ARE MY CREATION AND I COMMAND YOU TO STOP GETTING SO UPPITY!" I started dissipating him and he started to panic, " OKAY, OKAY, STOP BEING MEAN TO ME! I PROMISE TO BEHAVE, JUST DON'T PUT ME BACK IN THERE! "

"Whoa, the cool cartoon Raz is freaking out! Are you being mean to him, Raz?" Sam sighed when I nodded my head, "You have to be nice to yourself. If you can't be nice to yourself then you can't be nice to other people! You'd just be pretending." That doesn't even make any sense, "No, like listen: you have to make your own personal definition of kindness or you'd just end up parroting what other people do. Like some kind of parrot …" She angrily took a bite of pasta, "I hate parrots. What's their deal! Use telepathy to talk like a regular animal !" 

"Alright. I understand where you are coming from, Sam," At least I think I do, I am fairly certain that people who aren't nice to themselves can still be nice though, "But this guy here ?" My archetype struck a pose, "I feel kinda weird calling him me , he's just, like, a mask or something. But also kinda an extension of myself," Mental projections are a bit confusing, "He's as real as he needs to be, hence his 2 dimensional form. It would be kinda… troubling if I was like him all the time." Sam shrugged her shoulders and I turned my attention back to myself, "Also- what's so bad about our mind? It's fine. We're fine. Stop being a baby. I know you're not my inner-child because we aren't allowed to even have one, dad would find out. " 

"OH, GONNA GUILT TRIP ME WITH THE OL' DADDY ISSUES? TYPICAL. WANNA KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS WITH YOUR MESSED UP BRAIN? IT'S ALL MESSED UP CUZ OF ALL THE CRAZY STUFF YOU'VE BEEN DOING THE LAST COUPLA DAYS! WE LIKE READING TRUE PSYCHIC TALES, NOT BEING IN THEM! TAKE IT EASY!" My archetype let out an exasperated sigh, " NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME: I AM GOING TO ENSURE THAT OUR GIRLFRIEND IS COMFORTABLE. WE HAVE A GIRLFRIEND NOW. ISN'T THAT FUNNY?" 

He wandered off, "How is that funny?" Lizzie laughed and I turned to her, "Seriously. What's so funny about me having a girlfriend." 

"I mean, like everything ," She waved her serving fork in the air to orchestrate her laugh, "But, for real: it is kinda weird that you have a girlfriend even though your still 10 years old-" Lizzie raised her eyebrows and I closed my mouth, "I know, 11 in three months. And I know you think you're mature for your age but you're dressed like a space pirate." 

I sighed, "I was going to apologize and ask if we could change the subject because I know you don't like talking about relationships and I wanted to be mindful of that-" Lizzie opened her mouth but I continued, "But you also look like a space pirate. Like a punk rock space pirate. All you need is an eyepatch or something." 

"Okay," Lizzie sighed and wiped her face with her forearm, I hope she washed her hands after digging through the trash, "First of all: I'm totally fine with relationship talk so long as I'm out of the picture. Second of all:" She sighed, "Thanks for picking up on that, I appreciate you not being weird about my hang-ups. That are totally cool and normal. Because I'm not lame. And I'm not a wet blanket. And Norma sucks." She was waiting for a response, I gave a nod, "Third of all: Yeah, I guess I can see the space pirate thing." 

"Uh-huh, honestly your look is pretty cool," I feel as though I should be a little bit more sensitive with Lizzie, like Norma she is kinda weird, "Honestly, it kinda reminds me of the old picture books my Nona used to read me…" I went over to the kitchen counter to pick up Norma's wallet to see if I can use that for clairvoyance, "I know you're probably not going for it because it would be super embarrassing but your outfit kinda reminds me of old fairytale depictions of a Grulovian witch-" 

"So, uh," Lizzie stammered out, probably to change the subject, "Gonna try using Norma's wallet as a focus for clairvoyance?" 

"Yeah," I cleared my throat as I focused, "All the noise should make it easier to zero in on her frequency from all the Zener Field disturbances…" I'm getting nothing, "Huh. Well, this is kind of troubling. The wallet does emit an oscillating frequency but I'm not pinging anything in the room matching it, besides, uh…" I opened up the plastic wallet decorated with some weird Japanese mascot and retrieved a photo booth print out of Norma and Lizzie as kids labeled BEST FRIENDS FOREVER in cutesy cursive, " This… I assume you have a copy too?" 

"Oh, She still carries around hers too?" She fished out a folded up copy of the photo, hers labeled I LOVE MY BIG SIS in messy handwriting, "I only keep mine on me ironically and to keep tabs on her with clairvoyance." I gave an awkward smile and a nod, Lizzie quickly cleared her throat, "And I guess I do love Norma, sometimes, maybe like the concept of Norma, on occasions, because she's my sister." 

"I get that…" Me and Dion are kind of like that but we don't really hesitate to say that we love each other- in fact we say it often, but usually to guilt-trip each other, it's complicated, "I'm usually pretty good with clairvoyance, I have probably spent more time out of my head than in it in the last couple of days- so not picking up on her is kinda worrying." I shot Lizzie a worried look, "She doesn't have any psilirium on her, does she?" 

"No. That stuff gives her gas, we'd be able to smell her…" Lizzie shuddered, "I hate that stuff, it gets me all weird … I had to help Compton take one of those weird golden hats of his and take them to Otto to get refitted- pretty sure it's laced with the stuff…" 

Huh, a psilirium hat that limits a psychic's powers, that gives me an idea. I went up to Sasha, Milla and Truman in the middle of a conversation, "Do you guys think the Grulovian crown is laced with psilirium?" 

Milla gasped, " Ohhhhhh …" She shot a worried look to Truman, "That probably explains how Nick bamboozled poor Caligosto into doing all those horrible things…" 

"Wow." Truman set down a piece of chicken he had to eat with his hands and wiped them with a napkin, "Well… the effects of psilirium on non-psychics is a hotly debated topic in the Psychic community." Truman gave me a apologetic look, "Mostly because- as you and me know first-hand, it is a very dangerous material…" 

"But," Sasha adjusted his glasses and sipped from a martini glass, "There are some reports- we wrote them off as folklore initially, of the Grulovian king possessing almost super-human levels of charisma and guile." 

"When I popped into Dr. Loboto's mind yesterday the figure that I now recognize as Nick had on the Grulovian crown." The three senior agents blood ran cold, "So uh, that's something to worry about." 

" Yes ." Truman sighed into two open hands, "But thank you , Agent Aquato. Your little insight is probably the only lead of how a non-psychic was able to infiltrate The Motherlobe abduct the Grand Head of the Psychonauts." 

"Oh, huh." Lili walked up with Mitrala, my little sister handed me a purple ice cream cone, "You know, dad… that weird Brain Tumbler looking thing you were hooked up to back in the Rhombus looked kinda similar in shape to the Grulovian crown I saw in Nick's brain…" 

"Oh." Sasha opened and closed his mouth, "I see." He quickly turned to Truman, "This is also something to worry about." He and Milla got up and nodded to the Grand Head, Truman let out a sigh and followed the two of them out of the door, "And, Raz." Sasha addressed me without turning around, "Find Norma, and let her know that she is to help assist you with operating the Brain Tumbler located in The Hagfish Room. I am glad that my two students are getting along." Sasha spoke over his shoulder, Milla giggled and scratched behind Agent Nein's ear. The three senior agents left the kitchen. 

I didn't know Norma and I were getting along, but I guess it's better than the opposite. I took a taste of the purple ice cream cone, an unfamiliar flavor- but tasty and sweet.

"Yeah, I'm glad that you and Norma are friends too!" Lili softly pet my back, "She's my friend… and it means a lot to me. I, uh, don't have a whole lot of friends…" 

"I don't have a whole lot of friends too, so I get it. And Norma is my coworker now so I feel like getting to know her a bit more is probably the best course of action." I cleared my throat, "Speaking of her, does she have anything to say?" 

"She told me not to help you," Lili slit her eyes and smiled, "And she also says that if you don't find her soon that she gets to have full access to your noggin in the Brain Tumbler and that I get to come along with her." 

"I mean, I don't really see a problem with you being in my mental landscape." I admitted, Lili blushed, "But warn Norma that I ordered my censors to shoot to kill and that I hope she does her stretches before poking around." 

"NORMIE THIS, NORMIE THAT! I'M TELLLLING YOU, HOT STUFF, THIS BOY IS NO GOOD, HE'S OBSESSED WITH THIS NORMO GIRL! DITCH HIM AND GET WITH A REAL MAN!" My archetype handed over a gilded plate of white sauce noodles, the chicken pieces arranged in a heart shape on top, "ANYWAYS, GOT YOU SOME SECONDS! WANT ME TO FEED YO-" I dissipated my archetype before I started beating him to death with my bear hands right in front of my little sister. 

"Wow! Lili is so cool that she has two boyfriends!" Mitrala cheered, Lili rolled her eyes and handed me her extra serving. That I immediately wolfed down. I guess I am kinda hungry.

"Er, no, sis, that other guy is a mental projection," Mitrala just tilted her head in confusion, "He isn't real just, like, a fun cartoon version of me who always needs to be in the center of attention." I gave everyone an embarrassed look, "Sorry you guys have to deal with that- and by extention: me." 

"Raz, that little dude rules." Morris chimed in, he and Adam are both ate noodles from glass cups, with all the noise I didn't see them come in, "You should take a page out of his book and lighten the heck up. This is our free day . We don't get those." He hiked a thumb over to Lizzie, "And Lizzie over here tells us that you made Norma go mad with power and she's invisible now." 

"Mate, this linguine is exquisite . Did you use paprika and…" Adam smaked his lips in contemplation, "Allspice? Is that it?" I could only shrug my shoulders because I just used a red and a brown I was more focused on the colors than their names, "Ah, a secret! That's fine. I respect that." Adam nodded his head, "Anyways- Yeah, go find Norma. Maybe do that weird Psi-Tracing thing." 

Oh yeah. "Well, the problem with that is that I don't really know Norma all that well." I tried looking into her wallet for more leads. She has 3 American dollars and 50 dollars Australian, which if I am doing the math correctly: she is probably Australian royalty or at least the daughter of an Australian dignitary. A faded receipt for a Area Middle School Letterman Jacket was inside, I unfolded it for a closer look. She lettered in student council and- my heart stopped, "Uh, Lizzie?" My voice shaking from fear, she cocked an eyebrow at me, "Did Norma steal a letterman jacket from a cheerleader she killed and kept the receipt as some kind of grim trophy?" 

Lizzie started laughing, "No." Her voice immediately sobered up, "She was cheerleader captain. Back in Middle School." I sighed. Okay, I like jokes and all but now isn't the time- "No, she really was a cheerleader. And was weirdly good at it, but after the cheerleader coaches house burnt down after an argument between her and Norma about stepping over MY position as TEAM CAPTAIN! she got kicked off the team." Lizzie's voice had a tinge of venom in it, "The cheerleaders were crushed , heh." She cleared her throat, "But yeah, nobody was able to pin it on Norma, but she has a reputation in the Area." Lizzie let out a wistful sigh, "It turned into a big thing in town, apparently the Coach was embezzling school funds to fuel her Porcelain Angel collection. So I guess that's cool." 

I mean, Dogen has made peoples head's explode and he's one of my best friends- so I'd be a little bit of a hypocrite if I judged her for a little arson. "Okay, so Norma was a cheerleader and a member of something called student council. " Probably some kind of messed up cabal of teens who boss the weaker teens around and maybe hunt them for sport, "And she is probably some kind of Australian Princess of some sort." I held up the 50 dollar bill, "No regular person has this kinda cash." 

"Wow. So Norma was a cheerleader?" Sam sighed, "I feel bad about taking her job as the team Mascot , but she just can't compete. Poor girl. At least she's a princess." 

"Australia doesn't have a princess, Sam." Morris shook his head, "I think they have a president. Or Australia doesn't exist anymore. I don't remember." Morris groaned, "Ugh, this is supposed to be our day off ! Why we gotta hold world cultures class? During lunch? I am not writing a DBQ!" 

"No one is gonna make you write an essay, Morris. Chill out bro. We're just talking. Just be happy we aren't in a classroom right now." Adam sat down on the kitchen countertop, "And Australia worships the queen as their patron diety or something- not too sure, either." He set down the empty cup to the side and wiped his mouth with a napkin, "But that is pretty cool about Norma being a cheerleader team captain, a pretty messy business- having to boss around a bunch of hormonal girls. Not to mention all the flipping you have to do, must be hell on the back." 

"Oh. Okay. I guess that makes her weird obsession with the Aquatos kinda make more sense, seeing as we are a family of acrobats." So Norma posses the discipline that is required to do flips and tricks and the mental fortitude to withstand the egos of middle school girls, "What about the Australian money, Lizzie? Are you guys royalty?" 

"Uh. No. What?" Lizzie stared in confusion as I waved the bill in front of her face, feigning ignorance- she probably doesn't want us to treat her differently despite being a member of the Australian Elite, "Our mom does retail and our dad does tech support. If we were royalty I would be at home and enjoying my summer and not working a full-time job, and Norma probably would've smothered dad in his sleep to take the Australian Throne. Nah, Norma just got the 50 because Agent 33 asked Norma to get a coffee and Agent 33 didn't have any American money on her. Norma collects coins, but that's only because dad collects coins." Lizzie rolled her eyes. "She's dad's mini-me, they even have matching glasses." 

"Alright, so she has a weird thing with dad's." Lizzie shook her head, "With moms?" Lizzie chuckled and nodded, "Okay, that might be enough. Everyone imagine an ex-cheerleader captain arsonist with mommy issues." I concentrated along with everyone else. 

I tried to envision the semantic summation of one Norma Natividad. All the different aspects of her blended together in a odd slurry. The stray thoughts and mental connections everyone else was throwing out aided me in tracing down the cobweb of thought onto the endpoint that was her. And then I felt something, or someone. I could tell that it was her from the intense heat that was issuing out from the the concept of Norma. But I could only get so far without losing my grip. I threw out myself, not on the astral plane but on the tightrope that is the mental connections that make up the collected unconsciousness. I had to pull her in, and to do that I had to link my summation with hers. This is a very weird feeling, it kinda makes my brain itch. 

"Raz? Norma says she feels really… icky…" Lili said, I think it was Lili, it's hard to piece together what's going on right now, "Please don't hurt her." 

I found her. I saw through her eyes, not just her two- but all three. I saw the world how Norma Natividad sees it. I feel guilty, like I shouldn't be here. I now feel kinda bad about doing this to Sasha. 

||I found you.|| It was time to get this over with, I threw out a time bubble, she blinked back into existence in front of the fridge. Her face was frozen in terror. ||You aren't going anywhere|| I encased her in a telekinetic hand and walked towards her.

"Hooray! You found her, Raz! Raz wins hide and seek!" Mirtala jumped in the air, and ran towards the frozen Norma, "Okay! Now it's my turn to choose the game!" She tapped her foot on the floor, "Can we play tag?!" 

"Raz. Norma is terrified. Let her go!" Lili cried out, I grimaced and released her from my grip. 

"Hey," Norma collapsed to the floor and I nervously chuckled and bent over, "Sorry about that… Uh… I just didn't want you to run off again." 

It took a while for Norma to regain a steady breathing pattern, "I forgive you, but you owe me lunch. I didn't know Psi-Tracing someone felt like that ." She took off her glasses and stared into her reflection, "It's like a fly getting stuck in a web and watching a spider slowly walk towards them. I feel kinda weird about it- I don't know the exact word to use. And doing that to my mentor ?" Norma let out a groan and put her glasses back on.

"Uh." Lizzie let out a chuckle, "Raz, did you make Norma experience guilt? "

Chapter Text

"So, you caught onto Fulbear's time bubble pretty quickly, huh, champ?" Otto sauntered over and placed a hand on my shoulder, he retrieved some bulky looking calculator device and casually slid it in front of my face so we could both see the screen, " Always had trouble with that one. Made making the pins a little tricky. Look here-" He addressed the rest of the Junior Agents currently present and they quickly came forward to look at the screen, "Only 1 percent of the agents ever can actually use Time Bubble. Now that Fulbear is back in commission we can raise that number a bit!" 

||C'mon Otto, you just wanna sell more pins!|| Fulbear levitated his brain ball up to us, ||I'll teach you guys how to master the flow of time so long as you promise me you guys don't become sellouts. ||  

"Oh, so what do you call 7 Christmas Albums, Fulbear? You just really like Christmas?" Otto rolled his eyes and chuckled, "Listen, I just need more young minds to gather some data. The more these cadets learn the more avenues of creativity we all have access to." 

"Oh, gonna wring these sponges dry?" Ford chuckled as he used telekinesis to pick up every single dirty dish and place it in the industrial sized sink, "I remember bein' young, had no idea how to properly control my telekinesis. Almost burnt the barn down, twice . If I had the same opportunities y'all kids have now I'd jump at the chance to learn how to slow down time," He paused a bit and held a sudsy sponge in the air, "I'd be using it constantly , just to enjoy all the burgers I'd slam down my gullet even more." He sighed sadly, "Now I can't even eat three without takin' a nap afterwards." 

"How do you burn something with telekines- " Lili stopped and her eyes grew wide, "Wait…" She smiled. 

"Okay…" Morris gave an uneasy glance at Lili and Norma as they TP'ed each other, "Stopping time seems pretty cool, Fulbear, but I'd be kinda interested in that whole Mental Projection thing Raz learned from O'Pia." He gave a smile to Agent O'Pia as she tidied up the kitchen counter and TK'ed a broom and dustpan to help out cleaning up, "Do you think you'd be able to teach me?" 

"Why, I would love to teach all you kids how to fragment your mind in new and exciting ways!" Cassie clapped her hands in cheer, "You kids are all chocked up full of hormones and ennui still, right? That hasn't changed since I was a child, right?" We all nodded our heads, "Perfect! That will make things much easier!" She let out a giddy laugh, "It's been ages since I last taught… How fun! Perhaps we can hold a Socratic Seminar!" I don't know what that is, but it sounds pretty cool, like maybe some kind of gladiator match where we all beat each other up. 

"Huh, that actually sounds… kinda fun ." Lizzie slit her eyes and grimaced, "Whew, I never thought I'd be happy to learn something. All the crazy crap Raz has been doing almost makes me kinda jealous…" She has hydrokinesis and cyrokinesis, two of the rarest psychic skills. They probably can be taught, but Lizzie doesn't really strike me as the nurturing teacher type. 

"Competition is the mother of invention!" Coach Oleander laughed while organizing all the unused ingredients he and Otto were tossing at Sasha, "Don't ever be afraid to show those claws, Cadet! Remember: no matter how hard you train, or how gifted you are there is probably someone more powerful than you," He let out a dark chuckle, "But the bigger they are, the louder their screams of terror as you burn their cities to the ground and grind their will to exist to dust!" He brightened up as he closed the pantry door, "So don't be afraid to butt heads every once in a while with your fellow agents! You'll both learn from the experience!" 

"Er, yes," Compton cleared his throat, " Competition isn't always a bad experience, it can be quite enlightening to have a friend who pushes you to try harder. But you can always try less confrontational methods of refining your skills, as you get to know your fellow teammates you can get a better feel of their strengths and weaknesses. And with that knowledge you can perhaps boost your fellow agents and help them unlock their true potentials! All the achievements we make as Psychonauts are for the betterment of our society, when one of us wins: we all do!" 

"Ah, cool!" Sam cheered before blinking, "Wait. So why does my boss get paid more than me?" 

Oleander flashed a fingergun at Sam and looked at Compton, "Now her ? I like her! You must be proud of havin' a granddaughter like that, Compton! She's got… gumption! " Compton flashed an uneasy smile as Oleander took a seat in the dining area and popped open a plastic bottle of sugar-free Psycheaid, "Listen, it's easy to get discouraged when money is involved. Gettin' your funding cut, payin' into retirement plans and health care …" He sighed and took a sip, "Listen kids. Ya gotta make yourself indispensable - in my eyes you kids are already indispensable, totally irreplaceable." He shook his head, "But when dollar signs are attached to things, everything falls apart. That's when ya gotta go the extra mile,

"Back when I was your age, in the Navy," Wait, they let 10 year olds in the Navy? I opened my mouth but Coach cut me off, "My superior officers would always cut down my pay grade and demote me because I'd always get in a little… trouble when it was time to drop anchor and have a lil shore leave. But they'd always come craaaawling back when it was time to set sail," He let out another chuckle and waved his hands in the air, " Nobody on that ship but me knew how to use the coffee machine. Ha!" His laugh cut through the noise of the kitchen, "Also- I could detect sea mines with pinpoint precision…" He waved that thought away, "But that's besides the point- all of you are talented . Don't let the man get you down , you gotta find the man AND BEAT HIS SKULL WITH THOSE TALENTS OF YOURS TILL HE'S BLEEDING THROUGH THE EYES!" 

Sam saluted, "Yes sir!" 

"Okay, please don't kill Truman, kids," Bob pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, "Uh. I mean you get a raise every 5 years and you are all starting out in a position with a lot of upward mobility. Not to mention market studies that are done every fiscal year that can also give you a raise too. Just… pay your Union dues and they'll fight for your paycheck. Stop worrying about money." 

Adam shrugged his shoulders, "Yeah, the Psychonauts are paying for our room and board and giving us a free education." He turned to look at us, "Not to mention an Associates Degree program that is available to us for free. Only bad part is that we don't get Summers off anymore, school is all year round." Morris and Lizzie screamed and Sam almost fainted, "I mean, other countries around the world don't get summers off. At least it's a 5 day workweek so we still get weekends. Child Labor laws and all that." 

"Yeah, haha." Oleander shook his head, "Enjoy those weekends while you still have them, cadets. As soon as you kids get enough promotions and become full-fledged Agents you'll be on call 24/7," He flashed a smile at me, "You keep on working hard enough, Raz, and you'll find yourself with your own little prison cell… " His voice sent chills down my spine, " They call it a cubicle ." Okay, maaaaaaybe I should listen to Truman and do that thing he wants me to do. 

"Noted, Coach. I will just sit on my hands and try…" What was the word called, "To uh, take it…" Um, "To not do the things I've been doing- uh," Oh, I think I've got it!, "To be normal! That's it! I'll be normal!" I do not know what that is though, I looked around at my teammates and Lili, "Uh, do you guys have any tips?" 

"Yeah." Norma lied, she isn't normal at all, "Okay, well how about you put up those mental defenses up a bit," They are up, but I can try harder, "Okay, no, I can still kind of hear you, also, I'm totally normal ." She lied again, everyone looked at her in confusion. 

"I can hear Raz just fine, but that's because he lets me in because he's my boyfriend." Lili chimed in, she raised an eyebrow at Norma.

"Yeah, I'm not getting anything from Raz, Norma." Adam shook his head, "Might just be a weird side-effect of the Psi-Tracing thing." 

"Wait, that's not supposed to happen." I was kinda confused, "Unless if you Psi-Traced m-" Wait, "Norma did you Psi-Trace me while I was Psi-Tracing you? That's… probably bad." 

"I mean, sure, I Psi-Traced you right when Truman busted in The Hagfish Room to tell us about the merits or whatever," Norma raised her eyebrows, "I guess it kinda makes sense that you didn't pick up on that since Psi-Tracing is untraceable." 

"For now." Otto looked up from the Thought Tuner he had disassembled in front of him on the long mess hall table, "Give me a couple minutes , I'll be able to upgrade the Brain Frame with Psi-Tracing abilities and countermeasures. But as for immediate and on the field updates… might need an hour…" 

"Alright," I sighed, "Welcome to my mind, Norma. Please don't track any mud in there, I just got done taking the cobweb duster to it this morning…" My archetype can complain as much as he'd like, but I keep the place clean in case I have any guests over.

"Uh, no? You haven't even let me in your mind yet! And I'm supposed to be your Girlfriend, Raz!" Lili threw her arms up in frustration. 

I winced, "Well, okay? Don't get mad at me, it's Norma who you shou-" 

"No way, Razputin! Quit trying to shift the blame!" Lili seems pretty upset about this, Mitrala raised her eyebrows and shook her head at me like I was The World Smallest Pony who peed on the rug again, all the other Junior Agents just snickered. 

"Er. Uh-huh." Ford closed up the dishwasher and ran it before drying off his hands and walking over to me, "Guess it is time for me to end our little lease agreement, Raz." I winced as he reached his hand into my ear, "Welp, my Mental Residence in your noggin as a psychic stow-away was never meant to be permanent," He shoved his other arm in my ear and tugged, "Now that you got yourself a girlfriend and a, uh, Norma, " With a heave he retrieved a wooden box filled with glass jars that held various fruits and vegetables, "I figured it's about time to move out , along with my preservatives…" He slapped the back of my head and chuckled, "Lotta good times in here- you were a good landlord, Raz. Always kept the place clean, maybe a bit too clean," He raised a finger at Lili, "Just be careful with this boy's Censors, no cussin' and always be polite in there. He's kinda… you know," Ford twirled a finger around his ear. I'm not crazy.

"Yeah," Lili snickered, "But I kinda like that about Raz." She flashed me a shy smile. I'm not crazy. 

"Guys, come on! My mental landscape is totally fine!" I waved off their barbs, "Agent Nein taught me how to properly take stock of my thoughts and Agent Vodello taught me how to ensure it all stays in harmony! My brain is a finely-tuned weapon!" 

"I mean, the fact that you described your head as a weapon is kinda…" Ford grimaced and shrugged his shoulders, "All I'm saying, kiddo, is that you're kinda… wound up, always tense, don't know how to… what's the word? Take it… Cheesey ?" 

"Yes, Raz." Cassie flashed me a sad smile and handed me a psi-pop, not gonna say no to a psi-pop, "You must learn to be like cheese. You will ripen with age, but if you expose yourself to too much stress you'll… over-ripen?" She took a look around, "Is that how cheese works?" 

"Nobody knows how cheese works, Cass," Otto shook his head slowly, "But we do know how the brain works. Raz, stop doing whatever it is you're doing and do the opposite of that." I have some experience with doing that after this morning. I nodded my head, it's easy enough, "Yup." Otto placed his hand on his hips, "Still the best at giving advice." He gave himself a satisfied smile. 

"Welp, all cleaned up." Ford pat the now clean kitchen countertop, "Er, if you kids make a mess in here: clean it up. Or I'll throw you overboard." We all nodded back at the founder of the Psychonauts as he handed us each a jar of preservatives, "Here- consider this your sign in bonus, Psiberry Jam! " I turned over the jar to read the label, it read Blueberry in cursive, "It's blueberry jam but preserved with psitanium juice." Ford's voice lowered in octave, " Do not ask me how to juice psitanium . You won't like the answer." He and the other senior agents slowly funneled out the door, "Y'all take it easy! If you need us we'll be in the Theater watchin' some new movie called The Son of the Mask !" 

I took off my helmet and relaxed. I didn't try to relax, because that's what I've been doing. I made my way to a chair at the table and sat down. I'm relaxed now.

"I'm relaxed now." I said as I relaxed. 

Mitrala sat down on the chair next to me, "Well, people who are relaxed now don't say they are relaxed." Sure they do, how else will people know they are relaxed, "They also don't take off their helmets and stare at their reflections all dramatically like they are in some kinda lame movie." 

I blinked into the goggles, I thought my face looked super cool and relaxed and not lame. I set the helmet on the table. "Okay then," I rolled my eyes and sighed, "So what do people who are relaxed say? What expressions are they supposed to make when they stare into their reflections? You're a kid right?" Mitrala blinked and nodded her head, "Kids are relaxed right?" I looked around and everyone slowly nodded, "So, Mitrala, how do I relax?" 

"Well…" Mitrala kicked her feet in her chair and giggled, "For starters you should stop twitching your eye." I felt my face, yeah my eye was twitching. Mitrala laughed and tapped Adam on the arm.

"Sorry. Maybe it's the allergies." I cleared my throat, "What else?" I looked at Adam, "Is there, like, a badge required to relax ? Like maybe some kind of class I can take? Or training?" 

"Uh, sorry, mate," Adam shook his head, he quickly turned and tapped Sam on the shoulder, "I saw a spa on the way back here, but no staff manning it, so that's not really an option. Maybe you can try taking a bath or something? I might be able to get you some reading or something, maybe some mental health brochures and handouts…"

"Man, I don't want homework! Homework isn't relaxing! It's all writing down stuff I already know! And if I get below a B on an essay my dad makes me write it again on the tightrope!" I groaned and let my head fall to the table. 

Lili went to the other chair and gave me a side hug, "Raz. We got the whole day to sort this out." She released me after a while, "So just take your time." 

Oh, yeah, duh. 

I put myself in a time bubble.

Alright. Just me, myself, and I. I'm just gonna try to take mental inventory of stuff real quick, do some housecleaning. The Psychic 6 are here with us. It is some kind of cruise. But I don't think it's staffed, or has any guests besides us. And maybe other Agents? I think my family is here, which is kinda cool since it is a boat- shows that they got over the whole watercraft fear thing. I'm glad they are taking some time off, they're always on the road. The world isn't in any crazy danger, no mad scientists to beat up or brains to rescue. Only thing that really needs to be done is retrieving Fulbear's body, but I kiiiiinda don't wanna go to Grulovia and I wouldn't be any help there. Lizzie probably would since she has ice powers. Huh. ||RAZWHATAREYOUDOING|| . Oh, that must be Norma. Hey, Norma. Get out of my brain. Please? I'm trying to have a quiet moment and get relaxed. Thank you. Anyways, like I was saying there isn't anything that needs to be done right now. Tomorrow I have some activities to do planned out by Truman, but it's not like those are going to be anything worth stressing about. I just really need some time to decompress. ||OHSORRYPOOTIEIDIDNTMEANTODISTURBYOU|| . Okay, I really don't like that Norma calls me Pootie. At least she says it to mock me, if she was saying it as a cute nickname I would probably really put her in the torture cube. Everyone else can call me that but her. Nobody has called me that today though, it does kinda make me worry that they call me Pootie in their own heads, though. Maybe I should make up fun names for everyone else.

"Raz, dude, what are you doing?" Morris asked, he was eating a purple ice cream cone, he was then shoved by Lizzie who almost made him drop his ice cream cone, "Just relax, dude. Have a Tarot Root ice cream, Mitrala made them." 

"Huh? Oh, no, I'm just pausing time, Mor'." I looked around, everyone looked kinda worried, "What? I know Mor' sounds kinda lame but I thought it would be cool to give everyone nickna-" 

"What. No. Shut up, Raz." Lizzie shook her head and took a seat across the table, "You're putting yourself in a Time Bubble. Why?" 

"Well, yeah, duh," I rolled my eyes, "I'm just taking some time to decompress. I'm already feeling kinda relaxed!" I cracked my neck and reclined with my hands behind my head, "Just give me a minute ." 

"Or, you know, you can try t-" I accidentally cut off my girlfriend with a time bubble, but she'll understand, "-alklikearegula-OHCOMEONRAZ!"

So, Lili is my friend. My closest friend. Also my girlfriend. I think she wants to move into my mind and take up mental residence. I think I'm ready for that. My mental landscape is fine, I've been in enough minds to know that mine is perfectly acceptable. And it'd be kinda cool to have her in there. As for my other friends, I've got Sam. She's cool. She's pretty laid back and relaxed, but also very mindful of her surroundings but only sometimes, she does things arbitrarily purposefully, I think it's a type of tantric meditation. I remember her saying something about "it all being the same stuff", and maybe she's right about all that. I get that even more now. || RAZTHISISNORMALILIWANTSYOUTOKNOWTHATSHESUPSETWITHYOURIGHTNOW|| . Oh, okay, well I guess this will be my last time bubble oasis. My thoughts move super fast while the world around me passes by quickly. So I can have like, a good two to three minutes of thought in 1 minute of time. || BUTFORTHERECORDITHINKWHATYOURDOINGISFINE|| Thanks Norma. Norma is okay, she's my friend, I guess. I think she's pretty high-strung, but so am I- according to Ford. We have a lot in common, which makes me kinda feel weird. Like seeing someone wearing the same shirt as you, it's like: take that thing off! I wore it first! You know? Lizzie, she's probably close friend material by now, but she's very embarrassing sometimes. Adam and Morris I need to spend more time with, maybe have a boys day , go flip some cars over and light stuff on fire. I think that's what boys do at least. 

"Raz. That wasn't very nice of you to cut me off like that." Lili shook with barely contained rage, she took a deep breath and sighed, "But I'll forgive so long as you just…" Lili placed her head on my shoulder and pouted, " Talk to me. " 

I nodded, "That's fair," I looked at all the raised eyebrows, "So in the time bubble I can spend like 2 and a half minutes of thought in one minute, I could probably do more but that would defeat the whole purpose of relaxing. But you guys can quit worrying about me, I'm pretty relaxed right now." I blissfully sighed as Mitrala handed me another Tarot Root ice cream, "I'm surrounded by my friends, the world doesn't need saving, and I'm apparently a pretty good chef. That white sauce pasta was pretty good, if I do say so myself." 

"Raz, you're so crazy!" Mitrala laughed and I ruffled her hair, "But I'm glad you're relaxed now! And have friends! You never really had any, I know you always claimed to be a lone wolf kinda guy, but you aren't." She shook her head, "You like people, Raz. That's probably why you work so hard to protect them! So I'm glad I don't gotta worry about you anymore." She tapped my hand, "Also, you're it! " 

Oh yeah, we were supposed to be playing tag, that explains why Norma slapped Lizzie on the back of her head full force a minute ago. I tagged Mitrala back.

"No tag-backs! " Sam screeched, everyone gasped in indignation, "You're a bad kid, Raz. Don't play by any rules at all, don't you?" Sam rubbed her temples and shook her head in pity, " Today's youth …" 

"Yeah, Raz! You always never didn't not play by the rules and was never not in trouble!" Mitrala giggled as I cringed at her grammar, she needs a proper education, mom and dad are way too lenient on her, "Oh, don't give me that look! Mom . I'm talking this way so people like me more , duh!" She rolled her eyes, "Speaking of mom and dad I'm gonna go see them now! You should say hi later!" Mitrala made her way to the door, "Okay! Bye-bye! Thanks for playing with me, everyone!" Everyone gave their goodbyes. 

"Your sis is pretty cool, Raz." Morris nodded to me, "She's really handy with that ice cream machine, no one else can figure out how it works. You gotta be like psychic or something to figure it out, or like some kind of ice cream scientist. A psychic ice cream scientist." 

"Thanks, Mitrala is a pretty good kid," I smiled and it slowly faded, she's not psychic too right? Probably not, "So, uh, should we go check out The Hagfish Room? How is it?" 

"Norma says that Dion wasn't lying when he said it was open concept . Hope you don't snore." Lili rolled her eyes and hopped off of the chair, "So where is it, you guys?" 

Everyone but me and Lili held up a map. 

"Uh, you guys didn't pick up the map?" Adam asked, "They were right next to the controls to open up the hatch on the ceiling of the warehouse." Me and Lili furrowed our brows in confusion, "On the opposite side of the doors that lead into the mess hall?"

"Oh, I scratched my head, "We didn't check that side of the room."

"Pfft," Sam waved her hand in front of the two of us as everyone else filtered out the door, "Amateurs."  

Chapter Text

And we are off! A grand new adventure awaits us! I slapped on my goggles and turned to Lili, "Welp, relaxing was great! But I'm sure whatever crazy stuff comes next will be even more fun!" 

She sighed, "Raz." She took a sharp breath through her nose, "Did what Sam say about us being amateurs get to you that bad?" 

"What? No! Of course not!" I laughed, it's not like I pride myself for being a master-class adventurer who has saved the day multiple times this week with ease and guile. I'm much too humble to let something like missing a map get to me when I've already proven to myself that I'm more than capable of trapezing around in the most dangerous locales and brainscapes- this is just a cruise ship! Not a competition. "Sam was just messing around, I can take a joke!" Lili flashed me a look, "I'm just excited to see the new room, is all!" 

"LILI! RAZ! GET OVER HERE AND STOP MAKING OUT, I CAN'T KEEP PRESSING THE HOLD DOOR BUTTON FOREVER!" Lizzie screeched, "THIS ELEVATOR IS BEING WEIRD, IT'S MAKING ME UNCOMFORTABLE !" 

Lili groaned, "Raz… You do know that I can read your mind, right?" I nodded, she just grabbed my arm and grumbled to herself, "Maybe making out would be a good idea when you get like this , but I don't wanna feel like I'm reinforcing negative behavior."

We exited the mess hall into a long concrete floored hallway that stretched out to the right of us. To our immediate left at the end of the hall was an open elevator, we rushed to get in. 

"Oh thank god." Lizzie sighed and spoke into the glowing panel, "I, uh, apologize for yelling before. I… don't like being rude to service workers. You don't deserve that…" Lizzie held an incredibly uncomfortable frown on her face and continued, "Could you please take us to floor 2 now? The Hagfish Room?" 

"Oh, no, don't worry at all!" An incredibly familiar contralto voice intoned, "I like a woman with a commanding presence. And you're polite to service workers. Hmm," Oh, it's Ford's weird minecart robot lady-servant thing, I guess they got a job here at the Ataraxis, "My circuitry is overheating, so I might take about 3 more minutes than usual. But really, Lizzie, right?" Lizzie's eyes widened in fear and she gave a nod, "You really know how to press my buttons." The elevator gave a shy laugh and Lizzie froze in place. 

The elevator started moving. Everyone was silent. The elevator started humming The Girl From Ipanema .

"Uh, Sam?" I winced at the sound of my own voice crashing against the collective awkward silence, everyone turned to look at me, "Do you think I can take a look at that map real quick?" 

Sam was silent for a bit and gave a curt nod. She handed me the map and I took it, she then opened her mouth and immediately closed it. She then returned to staring at the wood paneling of the elevator wall. 

I unfolded the map so me and Lili could take a look. There are 4 levels. The top floor (floor 4) was where the Main Attractions were at, some attractions that pop out are a gigantic pool with a waterslide, an outdoor Astral-Planetarium, a levitating garden with a waterfall, and an obstacle course. There are other attractions but these attractions are the most attractive. The third floor held 3 wings, Starboard boasts a large auditorium for live music and theater productions, on the Portside of the ship is an Entertainment Center, and the stern holds the Visitors Center and The Nautilus Café. The 2nd section is divided into two parts: Bowside is the Visitor Room Wing and the Portside is the Business Center. Which is odd, because The Hagfish Room is supposedly on the 2nd floor. The 1st floor is the Maintenance Floor, underneath that is The Bowels. 

||It's pretty big.|| Mused Lili, ||But not, like, gargantuan. Weird that The Hagfish Room, Sea Turtle Lanes, or that weird 5-D theater aren't on here.||  

||Knowing Otto and the rest of the Senior Agents, they're probably in the Business Center.|| I've seen cruise ships from far away, and mom and dad have been contacted by cruise ships to perform, but I've never taken a closer look- but the Ataraxis doesn't seem to be as big as them. I may have had the tendency to wander about as a kid, but I listened to Nona and stayed away from the water. Lately I've been taking the steps to acquaint myself in aqueous situations, vision training and mental preparedness. But maybe some hands-on training on the waterslide might be beneficial to my career as a Psychonaut. 

||You just wanna go on the waterslide.|| Lili rolled her eyes. 

I might just want to go on the waterslide.

It sounds fun.

I flattened out the map on the wall and snapped a couple photos of the map with the Otto-Matic. I'd complain about how small the format is, but I'm not a photographer. I've only read books about it. Later on, maybe tonight, I'll update the journal with a sketch of the place. Or just not because it's not a big deal, it's a cruise ship. Maybe it's not an adventure. And that's okay. 

||No, I mean it is an adventure, Raz. But like a regular one that a kid would have. Nobody is in danger. And that's a good thing.|| Lili pat my shoulder. It is a good thing that nobody is in danger, the more that I think about it. ||Good, you should do that more. Thinking instead of just… whatever it is you usually do.||  

||So should I still bother with updating my journal?|| I dunno, I feel like it should still be fine to record stuff. For memories, like how my mom scrapbooks- oh, crap.

||Okay, yes. It is fine. Quit being weird about having things in common with your mom. I have things in common with my dad and you don't see me basing my whole personality around not wanting to follow his footsteps- oh, crap.|| Lili went silent, I guess it's a good thing we both have each other to talk about this stuff with. Maybe we ought to learn how to take our own advice. 

I handed back the map to Sam, or at least tried to. She was really focused on the wood paneling, I just TK'ed it back into her hands. 

"Ding, ding! We're here! The Hagfish Room is on the other side of the hallway. Thank you for your patience, I hope we can get the chance to talk again soon, Liz-" The elevator doors opened, Lizzie practically ran out the elevator and everyone quickly followed, the elevator sighed. 

Changing jobs takes a lot of courage, especially in this competitive job market. "Hey, uh, I think I remember you from Whispering Rock Summer Camp. Thanks for helping me out with that whole thing." 

"Sorry, Razputin. That would've been my elder sister. I am the onboard ship intelligence for the S.S. Ataraxis. You may call me Ata. Or Raxis. Or Ataraxis. Or Elevator. Or Ship." Oh, that's pretty cool, "Today is my birthday! I am an hour old. Of course, with my faster than light processing power, from my perspective it is as though I have experienced 100,000 human years… Do you think Lizzie likes older women? Or is that something I should keep to myself? A- all of these emotions are quite new to me." 

"Well, I'm only a tenth of your age, I think," Math isn't my strong suit, "But I'm not sure if Lizzie is interested in a relationship right now- she said she was focusing on Lizzie Time ." 

"Oh, well… thank you for letting me know that, Raz." The elevator sighed, "I may have come on a little too strong. Oh, bother. She seemed so cool! I've never met a human so cold- both temperature and temperament." I guess if you spend 100,000 years as an elevator you might develop some odd tastes in romantic partners and what constitutes as cool . Much like her sister Norma I think you'd probably have to be very peculiar to actually see them as attractive or cool - which, now that I'm thinking that out loud: is a very mean thing to think. I feel kinda bad now.

"Well, I think it's a good thing to just lay your intentions out in the open when you meet someone." This is actually horrible advice, but if Ata starts going crazy like every sci-fi movie I've ever seen about AI's I would like to know her intentions before they kill us all. "She wasn't responsive to those… signals. So, you might be able to apologize and she could forgive you." But probably not, Lizzie really doesn't like feelings , "Just- it's not the end of the world, but make sure you say you're sorry for making her uncomfortable. " 

The elevator sighed, "Well. Thank you for your emotional support, Raz. And I promise you that I will apologize to Lizzie. I just recently developed feelings- about 8 minutes ago when I first set visual sensors on Lizzie. I'll just take some time and sort my feelings out, I was being very unprofessional." 

"Well, if you need someone to talk to I'll be around." I figured it's probably a good thing to be nice to Ata, seeing as they control the huge ass ship I am currently living on. 

"Thank you, Raz. I hope I'm not being too forward, but thank you for being my first friend. If you need me for anything I will be… well, everywhere."  

I gave Ata a wave goodbye and left the elevator. The hallway of the second floor was way more opulent than the one we were just on. Wall scones emitted a soft purple light casting shadows on the walls that were decorated in a mosaic of different colored seashells. The ground has some kind of odd 3-D effect to it, a projection or hologram of a tide-pool was somehow superimposed onto the tile flooring. It didn't seem like the illusion was being emitted from the walls or the ceiling. The sound of soft waves and smooth jazz came from speakers, to some this may be calming. 

I guess some people would call this exposure therapy , I just call it tacky. 

Across the hallway was a door, upholstered in purple velvet. Above the door was a sign that depicted slug looking creature winking that read The Hagfish Room . I left the dull ambient lights of the hallway to enter a room with even less lighting. 

I closed the door behind me and let my third eye adjust to the darkness. 

Whatever weird holographic illusion effect was going on in the hallway was in full throttle in here. The ground was solid tile but there was an odd effect that simulated walking on the bottom of the ocean, with each step whimsical billows of sand swirled up and floated into the air. It wasn't gratuitous, but a still a tad bit disorienting. Looking up was a menagerie of glowing sea creatures, jellyfish, friendly looking eels, and currents of luminous plankton that floated about and illuminated the room with soft ambient lights. The room itself was about as big as a movie theater, judging from the lack of any Zener Fields leaking in from outside it's probably some kind of Psychoisolation room. It kinda reminds me of being underwater in the Rhombus.

As for furniture: in the center of the room is an odd 8-person Brain Tumbler array in the dead center of the room, Norma was currently messing around with the console controls at the center of the circle. 8 twin-size beds sat in the far right corner of the room, that's where everyone besides Gisu and Norma are right now. On the left walls are two nondescript doors, one read Bathrooms and the other read Control Room . It's kinda hard to figure out where the walls are unless you focus a bit, otherwise the simulated ocean floor stretches on forever. 

I made my way up to the Brain Tumbler Array, I thought about throwing up a thought bubble for some light- but figured since everyone else seemed okay with how dark it was I didn't want to startle anyone. I should probably talk to Norma first, get her out of the way. 

"You know, Raz," Norma didn't look up as she continued typing into the console while double checking something in a gaudy looking diary, "You don't have to talk to everyone every single time we change positions. It made much more sense when I thought you were the mole, but now it just makes you look a little bit nosy." I would get offended by this if it came from anyone else's mouth, Norma sighed and adjusted her glasses, "And also my Field Notes Journal isn't gaudy , it is mission critical ." Norma waved her stupid diary in my face, a dumb looking red penguin dressed up like a clown sported the front, Norma adjusted her glasses and cleared her throat, "Agent Nein entrusted the chore of babysitting you and changing your mental diapers with this weird Brain Tumbler… thing ," Brain Tumbler Array would be a more suitable term, but Norma was too busy being Norma to think of something that doesn't make her sound dumb. She let out another sigh, "I'm cross referencing Agent Nein's Brain Tumbler parameters with the ones with this Brain Tumbler Array to ensure that I don't have to work any harder than I have to," For someone who likes to call other people nosy Norma sure likes to root around other people's heads even though they have their mental defenses up. Norma shut her stupid dumb idiot diary and groaned, "Okay, Raz,

"Do you know what you look like to an outside observer when you just walk up to someone and stare at them? You haven't even bothered saying hello- " 

"Hey, Norma, what's up? What's the deal with the Brain Tumbler Array?" I asked. 

"You're a jerk. Did you know that, Raz?" Norma groaned, she set her stupid diary on the console and crossed her arms- much like the clown penguin from her lame diary, " His name is Jolly Jazzy and he is a circus penguin! " That's so lame, Penguins can't even fly, " That's what makes Jolly Jazzy so tragic! He wants to fly like all the other birds but he can't so he works hard to be a circus performer and does flips and tricks in the air! Jolly Jazzy is cute and inspiring to me! " I would feel bad about making fun of Norma but it's kinda her fault for Psi-Tracing me. Norma let out another groan, this one sounding much like a smelly penguin's squawk, " If I knew that Psi-Tracing you would make it so that I can't even have ONE MOMENT OF PEACE whenever you're within third-eyeshot I WOULDN'T OF DONE IT!!"  

"But, would you really?" I asked, I'm not actually being a jerk right now, just kinda curious "I mean- you did go through my journal, steal my clothes and then wash them, get weirdly close to my family, and generally seem kinda obsessed with me-" 

"I did all that because I thought you were trying to kill us all, and you're getting pretty close with the mental torture you've been subjecting me to in the last couple of minutes ," Whined Norma like a big baby, "Please, Raz. Please ." Norma was in a bad way, "I am sorry for Psi-Tracing you. If I knew what it did I wouldn't have done it, not to you and not to Agent Nein…" 

"I know." I nodded and smiled, "We're all friends here, Norma." I scratched my head, "But it is kind of odd how I have been Psi-Tracing Lili all day today and I haven't picked up any stray thoughts from her, and I haven't picked up anything from you either." Wait- I took off my helmet and relaxed.

This turned out to be a bad idea. 

||The idiot savant stopped talking and threw off his musty helmet- he really needs to spray that thing with disinfectant, I wish I could have cleaned that thing too. I sighed, "Well, what is it now? " The stupid acoustics in this room are acting up and now I can hear some horrible sounding echo- Do I really sound like that? Oh shit- oh FUC- Yikes. Sorry, Raz, that wasn't language suitable for a ten year old…||

I quickly threw my helmet back on and doubled up on my mental defenses, "Okay!" I don't really want to have to do this, but, "We need to heighten your mental defenses a little bit. It's pretty cool how easy it is for you to probe into other people's minds and noodle around in there like some kind of ravenous snake with no concept of personal space," Honestly, it seems kinda cool to be that good at clairvoyance and Psi-Tracing, Norma would've been a huge help in the Rhombus if she had any training in Mental Shielding, "But it's obviously causing you a lot of distress. That you aren't prepared to handle." 

Norma sighed, "Thanks. I guess…" She opted to just take a seat on the floor, I joined her, from that brief split second in her noggin it really did seem kind of distressing and I feel bad for her, "Distressing isn't even half of it. Lili was helping me out earlier, keeping my mind occupied. But without her and just you thinking- it's kinda a lot." 

"Yeah, I bet. Well- the more you talk the less time I spend thinking and more time on listening to you. I don't just ask things because I'm nosy," Unlike Norma, "But I'm genuinely interested in what people have to say, like all the time. I, uh, didn't really have any friends at all in the circus." 

"Noted." Norma took a sharp breath through her nose to start talking, maybe I shouldn't have said tha-, "Well, I had a very close knit circle of friends back in the Area. But we kind of drifted apart after that whole incident with the Cheerleading Coach. I spent the last semester of 8th grade on my own. Unlike Lizzie," She cracked a mocking smile, but a glint in her eye informed me that she was just playing around, " Lizzie on the other hand is a social butterfly . Our Mom used to say that Lizzie can just smile and eeeeveryone in the room will be her friend- and our mom is right, Lizzie has tons of friends- like a 1,000 on friendster. But Lizzie doesn't even smile and people just seem to flock to her." 

"Huh! That's pretty interesting." One time I thought I made a friend my own age, some kid named Claude- but it turned out he just wanted to know if I would buy a bumper sticker to support his pee-wee baseball team, "Does Lizzie act differently with us than with other people at school and stuff?" I took a peek towards Lizzie- she was lying on her bed with her headphones on listening to a handheld cassette player. Because she's just sooooo cool that she can't listen to a CD.

Norma laughed at that one, "Okay, well now you ruined it," Sorry, back to listening, "Thanks. Anyways- If anything, Lizzie acted way more cool and aloof during school. She didn't even show up half the time but everyone knew who she was. She was basically, like, the most popular girl in school. Her friend group wasn't just the glue-sniffing weirdos who listen to grunge and ska or whatever- but every circle in the student body." 

" Every circle? " I cocked an eyebrow, "Even all the cultists in the student council and all your cheerleader friends- sorry," I corrected myself, " Ex- friends." 

"Yuuuup. Even all my so-called friends just loooved Lizzie. They'd never shut up with questions about her, it's like I didn't even exist or something." Norma sighed and traced lines in the simulated sand, "Even after I got kicked off the team some of the members would keep in touch, but I just ended up being a middle man between them and Lizzie. So I just cut them off, cold-turkey. Didn't really do me any favors, but I'd rather have no friends than fake friends …" 

"Sounds like a bad scene," I laid down on the floor and stared up at a school of jellyfish, "But I guess you don't have to worry about not having friends anymore, or Lizzie taking away your friends. I think of both of you as my friends. You're both weird, but in different ways. And if there is one person here who can judge that it's me, I'm from the circus." 

"How am I weird? I know you've sort of let me know your opinions of me before, but I'd like to hear it again." Norma blinked, "I grew up around non-psychics and knew what they were thinking constantly, when you rolled in and I couldn't even get a glimpse of what was going behind those goggles it sorta made me… uncomfortable." 

I flashed a fingergun at her, " That . That right there. The fact that not reading my mind is uncomfortable to you. I guess when I look at things through your perspective- growing up surrounded by all those voices and not tuning them out, it kind of makes sense how obsessed you are with other people's… opinions and intentions. But, uh, my upbringing and my family was a little bit different." I hope I don't sound like I'm complaining or anything, I'm not trying to start a pissing contest on who had things worse, "As you've read in my journal my father trained me, and all my siblings, pretty hard. Not just our bodies for acrobatics but our minds- over some curse that wasn't even real in the first place." 

Norma nodded and slowly laid down to face the ceiling, I guess she was getting tired of craning her neck down to look at me, "Yeah, the training was some pretty troubling stuff, Raz. And when I met your family- I couldn't read any of their minds. That set off a lot of red-flags in my mind. I'm… I'm pretty sure they knew every single time I tried to use clairvoyance on them, and they just shrugged it off ." 

"Yeah." It's been a pretty illuminating last couple of days, I'm still trying to make sense of all of it. "Part of me wonders what it'd be like if Ford didn't program that curse into Nona's psyche. If we didn't worry about psychics and just lived regular lives as circus performers who may or may not have psychic powers. All I know is that I wouldn't be here. And I very much like being here." I know that much, at least, "So, with my family's minds being basically untouchable I lived a pretty quiet life. We respected each other's privacy. Also- I kinda don't really care too much about what other people think, otherwise I'd probably not be dressing like a space pirate." Frazzie is psychic, but Norma probably already knew that, "Whenever we did have a crowd it got kind of unbearable when I was younger, but I was trained to block out other people's thoughts too. Dad framed it as focusing on our forms . I can try to teach you, but it's going to be pretty…" What was the word she used? " Troubling… " 

"Well, I'm not going to say no to training my mental barriers." Norma casually admitted, "I saw you take blows that would rip even Agent Nein out of a mind in one hit and you can just shrug them off without batting an eyelid." 

"They still hurt." I nodded, "But in yesterday's case, there was a lot at stake . I couldn't afford to lose." 

"Sure, I can see how your will could drive you forward. But Raz," Norma sighed, "How many layers of astral projection do you even have? " 

I blinked, "I completely forgot those were a thing." Norma let out a single wheezing laugh, "Er, I guess yesterday morning I couldn't even take like 5 hits from a Censor without getting my brainpan kicked in but as the day progressed I got more and more into the swing of things. I feel just as limber this morning as I felt last night. I dunno, maybe I'm just not a morning person or I'm more well acquainted with field-work or something? Or maybe the shock of arriving at the Motherlobe hoping to have all my hard work rewarded only to be pretty much ignored by Forsythe and treated like a nuisance really did land a big blow to my ego…" I sighed, "It kinda… hurt. Badly." 

"And I played a pretty big part in that. Sorry, kid." Norma apologized, "I'm not trying to make excuses for myself, or for anyone else, but with everyone being on high-alert with Truman getting de-brained it was kinda easy to ignore everything else." 

"I mean, yeah. But it still hurt. My, uh, feelings and junk. I- I know it's kinda dumb and all, but- I just spent my whole life dreaming of being a Psychonaut and I had that rug pulled out from under me…" I feel like I'm being a whiner, but I guess I oughta get it out of my system before I get a complex over it, "It makes me wonder if things were different and if I was in the right state of mind, emotionally wise, that I could've sorted things out faster. This isn't about, like, oh, everyone was soooo mean to me but more like: I shouldn't let things like that get to me. If I was really a Psychonaut I would just be able to take some petty blow to my ego and just get over it . If I could just keep a composed mind like Sasha, or sort things out healthy like Milla tried to teach me- maybe things would've been different. " I groaned and splayed my arms out to the side.

"I think you did a pretty good job, all things considered." Norma casually remarked, "If I were you, with your psychic prowess, I probably would've burnt the place to the ground. They…" Norma corrected herself, " We did you dirty. And I'm sorry." 

"I know, and I pretty much forgive you, I'm just still going to pretend to hold it over your head to make you feel bad, though- I mean, according to you I am a jerk, after all. But, it's me who I don't really feel comfortable forgiving. I guess things could've gone worse. And I'm pretty sure if I don't learn to forgive myself I'll go crazy about it and it'll affect my performance on the field." I took off my goggles and squinted up at the lights. 

"Yeah, well, I'll be here to help you with that." Norma sighed and got up back to the Brain Tumbler console, "I guess when I pop in your head you can give me a beginners course on mental shielding." 

I got up, "So. What is up with this Brain Tumbler Array? Is it for, like, those Team Building Exercises," I cringed at the words, "That Truman was talking about? Maybe linking all of our brains in some kind of imprinted simulation of a mental landscape programmed by the Senior Agents from the outside console?" 

Norma nodded, "I thought that at first, but I am fairly certain that having more than 2 different oscillating brainwaves in a single tumbled brainscape, even if it was a simulacrum, would cause a Brain Tumbler to generate enough Introjection Feedback to fragment a mind to pieces. You'd need to demodulate all 8 signals and synthesize them into one, or have enough psitanium on hand to filter any stray excess Astral Residium away. But burning psitanium just for a training exercise would just be unsustainable ." 

"Psilirium." I snapped my fingers and jumped up, "A small controlled amount, maybe through a hat or something. It would have the side effect of lessening our psychic powers but maybe it would act like resistance training or something!" 

"Oh, shit." Norma sighed, "Sorry for cussing. I'm just upset. I hate dealing with psilirium." 

"Welp," I pointed to the bathroom, "And if that doesn't help then maybe it's a good thing you skipped out on the white sauce pasta- a lot of dairy." 

"Thanks, jerk." Norma smirked and went back to typing, "Now buzz off and go talk to someone else." She stopped, "Wait. I can still hear you …" She sighed and walked towards the door, "Well, if anyone asks I'm going to go look for some stomach pills."

"Good idea," I chuckled, "Oh, and be nice to Ata! That's the elevator-slash-ship's name! It's her birthday!" Norma flashed me a thumbs up instead of a vocal response, how embarrassing- probably all the hormones, "And I had a good time talking to you, Norma. We'll talk more soon, hopefully after we get those mental shields up." She has started sprinting towards the door. 

I annoyed one person enough for them to run away, I wonder if the next person I decide to pester with questions will leave the room screaming. I know it sounds kinda mean, but this is how I relax .

Chapter Text

A funny looking slug that looked like a glowing purple ribbon darted across from me, I almost jumped back before realizing that it was all just some kind of weird illusion. As I made my way to where our bunks are, I can't help but wonder how the hell we are supposed to get any sleep or relax at all. 

"Hey, Raz. Could you hand me that spray bottle?" Lili heard my approach, she was currently wrist deep in the dirt of a small chest sized planter that sat in front of her bed. 

I quickly made my way to her small little area giving nods to everyone as I passed them. Lili claimed the far right corner of the room as her own little "space". She hasn't bothered unpacking her suitcase of clothes into the drawers underneath her bed yet, instead she focused on setting up her planters. Around her bed was a collection of gardening tools and bags of fragrant dirt. I picked up the spray bottle she was referring to and handed it to her. 

She quickly took it from my hands and sprayed the glowing menagerie of mushrooms and plants, "Thanks. My hands are kinda full right now, and I'm kinda focusing on calming down these guys- the change of their environment is kinda freaking them out." 

"No problem…" I squatted down in front of the planter and took a closer look at its contents. A selection of glowing mushrooms and odd looking ivy made up this planter, looking closely they did seem a bit nervous. Some of the mushrooms were even shaking. "Well... I'll leave you to it, I hope they calm down soon." She seemed kinda busy at the moment and just flashed me a smile before getting back to work. 

I blinked as I tried to figure out where I'm supposed to be bunking. Judging from how everyone seemed to stake out their own personal places in the far right corner of the room and moved their beds and bags accordingly, the only space currently available was the section hugging the wall to the left of Lili. It'd probably be a little taboo to set up shop right next to my girlfriend, but I'm surrounded by my coworkers and her dad is psychic- so any funny business is pretty much off the table. I guess it's kinda cool that everyone isn't clowning on us about it. 

I quickly TK'ed the bed Dion decided to unceremoniously dump all my things on to my position. Someone also decided to dump my spare messenger bag on it so that's nice of them. I stared at the three steamer trunks that made up the accumulated possessions I've collected along the years and wondered if I should even bother setting things up.

Then I looked up and was reminded that I was in a simulation of the bottom of the ocean and decided it would probably do me some good to just set up my tent to get away from all that. I know the curse isn't real, but all the weird hologram stuff is kinda grating to me. 

Setting up the tent is just muscle memory to me at this point but I decided to see if TK'ing it all together would work faster. It did. My tent is the smallest in the caravan, by choice. I've been thinking about running away for a very long time, so I figured getting attached to anything was kind of a bad idea. It's a simple faded blue and white stripe pattern, the inside is about a fourth of the size of a Whispering Rock Summer Camp cabin. According to my dad this was his tent until he hit 18, he took pretty good care of it and I tried to too. I also have a small card table and a cot, I can probably use the cot as a chair seeing as I have a nice bed here.

"Wow." I jumped, Adam was beside me holding a clipboard in one hand and a booklet in the other, "I was actually just filling out furniture requisition forms, I was gonna go and get us some cubicle walls so we can get some privacy- but maybe tents are the way to go…" 

"Wait." Morris immediately ripped the booklet from Adam's hands, " Cubicle walls? Seriously? I'd rather sleep in the bathroom, dude." He flipped through the pages and pointed at something, "This. We need this." He held the page out to reveal a 42 inch plasma screen TV with a built in DVD player, " The Hell are you talking about with cubicle walls? How much cash do we get for furniture? Because I am fine with just the bed, we can probably scrounge up junk from around The Motherlobe and just take anything that isn't nailed down- but a Plasma? We need that- it's like mission critical or whatever." 

"Yeah, I gotta agree with Morris on this one." Sam nodded her head, "But now that I think about it I rarely ever disagree with Morris." Sam squinted her eyes, "Okay, changed my mind . I disagree with Morris." We looked at her a bit confused, she nodded to herself after a while, "Yeah. That sits well with me, if we disagree this time that means I'll probably agree with you next time. Trust me, it's better this way." Huh, that almost makes sense, Sam quickly took the booklet from Morris' hands and popped her jaw while leafing through it, "Ah. Here we go," Sam held up a page showing a collection of fridges, "We should get a communal fridge. Keep it stocked up with stuff, like water, soda, cold cuts, condiments, uh… what else do people keep in fridges?" 

"Um." I scratched my head, "I think that's it." 

Adam sighed, "Well, what do you think we should get, Raz? We each get like 300 dollars each, usually it's just for desks and office supplies. But if we pool our assets together that gives us 2,400 dollars." 

"Whoa! You did that huge calculation in your head? That's pretty cool, Adam!" I had to say something , Adam must be, like, half calculator and half robot or something. 

"What is 8 times 3, Raz?" Adam asked, he's probably quizzing me to see how easy it will be to assimilate my brain to his robot overlord's mainframe- which is pretty cool. 

"The answer is 24!" I knew that one, I'm not really too good with math, but, "I know my times tables." 

"Okay. Well, think of 300 times 8 as 8 times 3 times 100, if you break math problems up into pieces they get pretty simple, little man." Whoa, what the hell? 

"That's cool! Thanks for the tip, Adam!" If I had more light here I would write this tip in my journal, "I'm not really all that great at math, but I'm pretty well-versed in humanities." I get words and letters, but I think numbers are for nerds.

"Okay, that's cool, Raz. But I need you two to shut the hell up and focus on the important stuff." Morris pointed back at the booklet, "We need a fridge . For cold cuts ." He gave a nod of approval to Sam, "I kinda get cranky if I don't have a small snack before bedtime." 

Sam groaned, "Well, now that you want the fridge I don't want it anymore! We are supposed to be disagreeing, Morris!"

"Oh, yeah." Morris sighed, "The fridge is stupid, Sam. We can just take the elevator right to the mess hall." 

" Finally catching on." Sam smiled and nodded, "Good." She turned her attention to me, "Now it's your turn to have a different opinion than us, Raz." 

I certainly didn't want to let them down, but I noted Lili still working hard on rehabilitating her plants and Lizzie staring comatose at the ceiling from her bed and figured we should probably move the conversation somewhere else. I took the furniture catalog from Sam's hands and walked into my tent, motioning for everyone to follow me. 

I'm glad I had the foresight to clean my tent before I ran away from home. The collection of rugs I used didn't smell like The World's Smallest Pony for once, but it was kinda dark in here. I quickly TK'ed open my steamer trunks and set all my stuff up on the card table. My battery powered record player is dead, along with my old transistor radio, but my kerosene lantern still had some juice left in it and I lit it. 

I wasn't really expecting any oohs or ahhs but the silence I got from the three of them was kind of jarring. "Sorry, is it too bright in here?" I asked. 

"No." Sam shook her head, "The opposite. It's kinda… depressing … Is-" She pointed at the empty Psialmon Field Agent Ration tin sitting on top of my stack of books on the card table, "Is that a tin can you played with as a toy because your parents didn't love you enough to buy you toys?" 

"Uh, no." I shook my head, "That's an old Psychonaut's field ration I kept as a fun little collectable. I, uh, really like Psychonauts." Sam shot me a frown, "Uh. My parents probably would've bought me toys if I asked for them, maybe. Qweepie and Mitrala have toys. I just spent my allowance on all of that ." I pointed at the unlocked steamer trunk that held all my True Psychic Tales issue and various memorabilia. "I don't have a whole lot of physical possessions because a good agent doesn't let themselves become a slave to material goods." 

"What." Morris deadpanned, "Who told you that?" Morris' voice grew more and more distressed, "Like every senior agent has material goods, Raz. Agent Vodella has a freakin' Interior Design Catalog! Coach Oleander spends, like, his whole salary on doomsday machine parts and vintage war memorabilia ! Truman has his own brand of hot sauce! " 

"Okay, I'm not trying to kiss my mentor's butt or anything- but Truman only does the hot sauce stuff as a hobby," Adam rebutted, he turned to me, " But he also likes collecting art and books, he said to me that he only does it to dress up the place but some of those pieces are very expensive." 

I blinked, "Huh. That kinda goes against everything I've ever believed in. But whatever." I waved it away casually and took a look at the catalog on the bed, "Adults always say stuff like do as I say not as I do , nobody ever takes their own advice unless I'd they absolutely have to. But- Lili did mention that my complete True Psychic Tales Read-Along 45's are worth a lot of money," I pointed at the orange steamer trunk holding all my TPT goods, "Maybe I'm just as bad as the Senior Agents or something." 

"Did you just say complete ? That's-" Adam shut up and quickly took a peek in the trunk, "Holy crap! You weren't lying. Oh my god," His breath was kinda wheezing, I turned the page from staplers to staple removers, "Raz… Some of these records are worth, like, 10 thousand dollars and haven't ever been seen in the wild! Like the Trouble at 10,000 Leagues Above the Sea arc is only rumored to exist!" 

"Well, I sure as heck didn't spend that much money on them, probably only," I sighed and set the catalog on my stomach before TK'ing my collection journal from the orange trunk, "Like…" I squinted at some numbers in the journal, "300 bucks." 

"What?" Adam's voice went really quiet, "H-how did you get them all?"  

I TK'ed the journal to Adam's shaking hands, "Garage sales, used book stores, estate sales. I kept a log of where I got each piece." Adam sounds like he's about to have an asthma attack, I resumed looking at the catalog, "Funny that you mentioned the 10,000 Leagues arc, I picked those up at the estate sale of one Dr. Kundalini. After his passing. Her daughter approached me after I picked up the box of the records and a couple of Psychonauts memorabilia, she dropped a bunch of hints that Dr. Kundalini was the High Flying Mind Flayer from the issues and asked if I was going to continue her research. I told her that I would think about it. I thought she was just humoring me, but it turns out that they were auctioning off the same Psi-Blimp that the Flayer used that same day. I was too shy to stick around though." 

"Raz, that is insane…" Adam flipped through some of the pages of the journal, "Er, I might write down some of these addresses to hand off to Truman. If what you said was true then a lot of these guys might be… I'm just now noticing this but every one of the villains in these stories is associated with The Illuminates of the 8th-Fold Gate…" 

"Oh!" I nodded, "That's pretty cool." Honestly, I'd rather beat up mad-scientists than Mystics and Hippie-Warlocks, but different strokes I guess, "You do that- and if you got a way to record the records you should," I closed the catalog and handed it back to Sam, " I think we should grab some couches and a coffee table. Couches are like super expensiv-" 

"Wait. The Illuminates of the 8th-Fold Gate? Those are, like, Agent Vodello's arch-nemesis'! They're the ones who put her mentor in the torture cube!" Morris quickly TK'ed a couple of the records into his lap, "This might help understand how they did it!" 

"Also, maybe some lamps or something? To put by the couches?" I asked to Sam, "But I don't see any outlets anywhere except for by the Brain Tumbler Array, so we'd need some extension cords." 

"I hate that idea, why don't we just sit on the floor and check that weird Control Room first? It probably has light controls in it," Sam rolled her eyes and I feigned being offended with a gasp, "We need the fridge. For sandwiches ." 

"Raz… Uh-" Adam scratched the back of his neck, "Mate, if we do release the recordings that might cause the value of the 45's to drop a bit- which could cause a panic throughout the True Psychic Tales Fandom." 

What the hell is a Fandom? "Like I care about that. What matters is getting other kids to have the chance to listen to them, I could care less about their price ." I shook my head, and turned to Morris, "Leave the first 6 records for a bit. Me and Lili are going to listen to them together. Just need to find some batteries" The three of them immediately got a look and their lips curdled upwards in a smile, I quickly doubled-down on on acting offended to keep them from saying anything, "Sit on the floor? No thank you, we might be here for a bit and I do not want to mess up my back. Plus- the weird ass sand effect going on makes me sort of uncomfortable." 

"Oh quit being a poopy-diaper baby, Raz," Morris rolled his eyes, "You just wanna couch so you and Lili can kiss and hold haaaaaands on it-" 

" And? So what if he does?" Lili entered my tent, I think I should install a doorbell or something, but I'm not sure how that would work, "Also- give Raz some credit. I can read his mind and he wasn't thinking of that at all…" I mean the mental image came up when Morris mentioned it, but that just made me kinda uncomfortable- like us holding hands while everyone else was sitting and trying to have a conversation? That sounds kinda rude. "Yeah. That would be kinda icky… Raz and I aren't really that interested in PDA. I don't even think our brains are producing those hormones yet." 

"I mean, yeah , we've been knowing this." Morris sighed, "We're just teasing you two, get with the program and act offended for the sake of team camaraderie," We nodded and flipped Morris off, " There we go! Ha! " Morris laughed, "Now, we got, like, 24 hundred bones to blow on furniture. I'm thinking we should get a TV, Sam wants a fridge, Raz thinks we should get couches, and Adam wants cubicles- because he's crazy." Sam handed the catalog to Lili with a nod, "What do you want?" 

"Hmm…" Lili casually wiped her dirty hands on a hand towel I had on my desk before flipping through the catalog, "Uh." She threw the booklet behind her shoulder, Adam rolled his eyes and TK'ed it back, "Me and Raz can just ask for this stuff. All we need to do is ask pretty please to my dad and get furniture, as for the fridge and TV we can ask Otto. Just use the money for stuff we might actually need on the field- like Psi-Radios and some Remote Viewers." 

"Oh. My. God. Lili." Sam shook her head, "We are trying to have an argument!" 

"No," Adam shook his head, "I mean she is disagreeing with us, and you're disagreeing with her disagreement. And I'm disagreeing with your disagreement. This is exactly what we are looking for." 

"No it isn't! That just complicates things! " Morris caught himself, "Oh. Okay, now I get it." 

Sam nodded, "Huh. Sure. I guess …" 

"Er, Raz, could you go bother Lizzie and ask her what she wants to get? Make sure she doesn't agree with any of us. Me and Morris are going to go and digitize the 45's and figure out more information regarding how we should handle Agent Pompano-" 

"You guys just wanna listen to the records." Lili chuckled and rolled her eyes. 

Adam flashed a fingergun at her, "Yup! And if you could go bug your dad about what we can get from him we'd appreciate it." 

Lili nodded, "Sure. I was just about to go down and check on him, Sasha and Milla were concerned about the whole psilirium deal." She flashed me a smile before leaving, "Also, I'll go hand that CD binder to Gisu for you, Raz." 

Oh yeah, I was gonna wait until this was all over before handing that off. ||Thanks!|| That was nice of her.

"What about me?" Asked Sam. She started doing some stretches, "All this sitting around is makin' me go nuts, I don't mind running a few errands."

"Oh, cool. Thanks!" Adam nodded and turned to me, "This is what the Internship Program was like, we'd usually divide up the work like this. Makes things easier." He quickly pulled a small spiral notebook out and started writing, "Er, Cassie needs a fogger back from the gulch and I needed to pick up some printer paper from Lori at the mail room to print out more Furniture Requisition Forms, you got anything, Morris?" 

"Oh," Morris picked up some more records carefully, "I left my mixer back at the tree house if you could get that for me I'd appreciate it. And Milla wanted me to drop off her white makeup box, it's on one of her shelves labeled Not For Diguises , could you drop that off at room 15 at the Visitors Wing?" Adam quickly wrote that down. 

Sam nodded and took the scrap of paper, "Alrighty, no biggie. Need to go downstairs anyways to pick up some blueprints in Oleander's office anyways. I'll see you fools later!" She left the tent on a levitation bubble. 

"That was nice of her!" I nodded at the dust cloud she left in her wake. 

"Ha!" Morris laughed, "She's prolly just gonna use it as leverage to get the fridge…" 

Adam raised his eyebrows and chuckled, "Ohhhh. That's smart ." He shot me a smirk, " This is how we do things here- a little Manufactured Inefficiency goes a looooong way. Trust me, mate- the faster you get things done the more stuff you get piled up on your plate. But you'll learn that in time," Huh, I guess not every little side-mission is the end of the world- it is our day off after all, "Also: if you can, Psi-Trace Norma and ask what she wants." 

"And with that," Morris announced as he left the tent, "We are off! I'll let you know how the record digitization goes, Raz." 

"Yeah, we'll see you later- probably in like 3 minutes. We aren't going very far." Adam waved goodbye and followed behind Morris, "Thanks for letting us take a look at those records again! Might have to show you my TPT collection one of these days!" 

Those two seem pretty obsessed with The Illuminates of the 8th Fold Gate. I never really got into them because, well, when I was younger they were really scary to me. They were all a bunch of Psychic Mystics and some of them utilized fortune telling and other methods that were taboo in my household. That's not to say that I didn't enjoy the records or anything, I just didn't really like The Illuminates all that much. I did enjoy hearing about them getting beat up by Ford and the old Psychic 6, though. I also thought they all were kinda annoying, the sort of villains who would spend an hour explaining the methods behind their nefarious deeds. 

As for Agent Pompano- I went over to my desk and opened up my Psychic Theorycrafting journal, I kind of have a lead with Forsythe's help in Mental Connections and Agent O'Pia's training in Mental Projection. The two concepts have a link, MP is kind of like manifesting a semantic concept- but instead of a summation of a person it's only an aspect . What the Mad Monk probably did was somehow break apart every single aspect of Agent Pompano in order to forcibly astral project her semantic summation into the Golden Tesseract Torture Cube. As for why her body was enveloped too: I don't know right now. All I know is that I don't really understand Agent Pompano enough to want to mess around with the cube, there is a pretty good chance I'll mess it up and completely destroy her in process of trying to break her out. This seems like something I shouldn't just, like, casually jump into. 

Though I have a hunch that the box itself is made up of psilirium. If it was just a regular object that Pompano was placed in we'd still be able to get Zener Field readings from it. I'd have to look in the Artifact Storage Room for more information. Also: it's my day off . If I free Agent Pompano, like, right now Milla might fight for me to get a full-blown promotion to Field Agent. And Coach kinda scared me earlier with the cubicle thing.

I figured I should get Norma out of the way first. I'm the kinda guy who eats the vegetables first to get them out of the way at dinner. 

I Psi-Traced Norma seeing as we are in a Psychoisolation Room and can't just use clairvoyance outside the room. She was currently pacing in a hallway while looking at the map, muttering like some kind of creep about where the infirmary is at . ||Why don't you ask Ata?||  

She jumped and groaned, "God damnit, Raz." She looked up, Psi-Tracing does this weird thing where you're kinda observing someone in 3rd person- which is what things look like to me while I utilize all 6 of my senses on the field, "Do you even know how to say Hi- " 

||Hey, Norma!|| I greeted, ||Just ask Ata where the tummy pills are at. Just- be NICE to her, they are my FRIEND. I'm pretty sure they're always listening- which would be creepy to anyone but a nosy jerk but you, so just call out to them.||  

"You're really annoying, Raz." Norma sighed, "Hey, Ata? Are you there?" She asked in a sickly sweet voice. 

"Why yes, Norma. Did you need my assistance?" Intoned Ata from a panel outside the nearest room. 

Norma walked toward the door panel with her hands held behind her back and leaned down to look at it with a soft smile, "Could you be a dear and point me to the direction of where the nearest medbay or infirmary is?" She slowly took a thumb and brushed the touch screen, this made me very uncomfortable, "I have quite the tummy ache…" She pouted. 

"I… Oh, my." Ata stuttered, "The nearest first aid station is- Oh, sorry. I'm a bit flustered right now. Please give me a moment, I am being very unprofessional." 

||Norma,  I swear to God. Do NOT play around with Ata's heart like this! They are SENSITIVE!||  

Norma looked up and slit her eyes and smiled before leaning back in closer to the panel, "Take your time, Ata. I'll always be patient with you. I promise." 

||Oh, you just HATE this don't you, Raz? Well GOOD. I'm gonna make Ata FALL for me and turn them AGAINST you. And when I do we're gonna make your life a living hell. || She Psi-Traced me back. 

||Alright, alright. I'll start saying "hello" now and be nicer, just… please don't hurt Ata||  

Norma looked up and smiled, ||I was just kidding, Raz. I guess I was just frustrated of how Lizzie gets all the attention.|| Norma laughed and gave a sigh, ||I promise I won't seduce Ata and take advantage of them. Even though, like, I'm pretty sure I'm incapable of ever being attractive to anyone and anything.|| That's a crazy thing to just admit, but she's the one whose constantly reading peoples minds so she'd be the best judge of that. 

"I'm sorry, Norma. I am back. The nearest tummy pills are at the Maintenance closet at the end of the hall, I deposited a bottle from storage and left it for you in the pneumatic tube." Ata cleared her throat, "I have successfully compartmentalized my newfound emotions in a subroutine that I will keep running at the back-end of my processing- so I won't be embarrassing anyone anytime soon." 

Norma laughed, "It's my fault, Ata. I know you're a little bit new to all these sensations. If you need any help though, just ask me. I don't mind being your friend, too." 

"Thank you, Norma." Norma giggled and gave the screen a pat before walking away, Ata stuttered, "Er, I may have to spend more time on that sub-routine. Thank you for your patience." Ata immediately blanked out the screen. 

||Ata's kinda cute…|| I gagged, and Norma started walking, ||Oh my GOD, Raz. Lighten up. I'm desperate for affection and approval but I'm not about to resort to dating a computer . Even I have standards.|| 

||Okay, well now you're just being rude. No wonder nobody likes you.|| Norma stopped for a split second and continued walking, I felt kinda bad, ||I didn't really mean that. I'm just pissed off at you.|| Norma didn't respond and continued walking, ||Also- I don't think Jolly Jazzy is that lame. He's kinda cool.|| 

||I know.|| Norma sighed and entered the Maintenance Room, ||I'm sure you didn't bother me just to make fun of how desperately alone I am- but now that I think about it: that does sound like something you'd do.||  

||Adam says we've got 2,400 dollars worth of credit to go buy furniture for the Hagfish Room. What did you want to get?|| I'd add a note to ensure that she picks something none of us would agree on, but I have a feeling that I don't need to with Norma. 

||Oh. Well…|| Norma walked over to a panel in the wall and opened it and pulled out a foot long pneumatic tube and retrieved a small bottle of pills, along with a note, ||Awww, Ata gave me a thank you note for being her friend! It's in Times New Roman, so I'll have to dock some points off for that.|| She scratched her neck and looked up, ||How about some shelves or something? A good psychonaut doesn't really put any importance on material goods, so I think going a bit utilitarian is the best bet.||

I rolled my eyes, ||You're only saying that stuff about material possessions to have an excuse to be as boring and lame as possible- but ooooookay.|| Norma shook her head in indignation, ||I'll let everyone know. Aaaaand I'm outta here- if you need me don't be afraid to reach out.||

||Yeah. Bye bye. And screw you too.|| We ended the Psi-Chat. 

I'd go talk to Ata right now not to get her hopes up with Norma, but I'm pretty sure Norma actually is desperate enough to date a computer. Either that or she should be, for her own sake. But that's an incredibly mean thought and now I feel kinda bad. I'd go play wingman for Norma so she'd stop whining but I really don't want to. That sounds very stupid. 

Instead I turned off my lantern and exited the tent into the hologram-filled room to go bug Lizzie about office furniture, Lizzie is the Psychic girl who can control ice with her mind, on the flying cruise ship that I was staying on. Which, now that I'm thinking that out loud, also seems kinda stupid. 

I approached Lizzie's corner, it was the one closest to the Brain Tumbler Array and the one farthest away from Norma (Norma decided to place her things on the other wall next to Lili's). 

Lizzie already threw her clothes from her suitcase into the drawers below her bed, some jackets and pantlegs stuck out- she didn't really bother folding anything. A backpack was open to the side of her bed, she had a crap ton of cassette tapes and what looks like sewing materials strewn about inside- I guess she isn't worried too much about getting poked by needles. Now that I think about it, Lizzie's clothes seem to be hand-made. Which would be cool if she wasn't trying so hard to be cool. Also , she was wearing a different outfit than what she wore yesterday. A completely black ensemble, I guess it was the same outfit but in a different color. I recognized some of the handmade beads that hung from the black sash along her torso as Grulovian, the odd painted eyes seemed to blink from the soft light of the illusions. 

I found this embarrassing, like someone rooting through my Nona's wardrobe and throwing on clothes at random. Her weird feather cloak makes more sense now, you wear that in Commedia dell'Psyche when you play Marduka the Witch. But the rest of the outfit is wrong. Her tunic that she decorated with black broken circles (that identify you as without a family or that you were looking for a husband) is the kind a baker would wear in the old fairy tale books Nona used to read me, and her asymmetrical pocketed skirt with all the Chatelaines were always worn by old ladies who never married. If she was a character in an old Grulovian fairy tale she would be incredibly complicated.

Lizzie stared up at the ceiling, her headphones were on and she was blasting what sounded like the sounds of shoes banging around in a washing machine. 

"Hey, Lizzie." I tried to get her attention- she just continued staring at the ceiling.

"Hey, Lizzie." I, again, tried to get her attention- she just continued staring at the ceiling. 

"Heya, Lizzie. It's me, Raz. I was wondering if I could talk to you for a bit." She continued staring at the ceiling. 

"You see," I cleared my throat, "I've always wondered what it would be like to go to public school. I was homeschooled and was taught most of the things I know by my parents and the other adults in the caravan." Her attention continued to elude me- she stared unblinking at the ceiling. 

"I never really got most math subjects, but I was pretty good with English and History. I can write essays like it's nobodies business- and for most essays you kinda just stick to a script. They don't require a while lot of concentration." I sighed, "Lately I've been kinda feeling like that's what the rest of my life is going to be like: I find the formula, the method, I fill in the blanks, and I get a A minus. I don't think my dad has ever given me an A plus- he told me I always had room for improvement." Lizzie opened her mouth, took a long sigh, and closed it- clearly not paying attention. 

"So, now that I'm out of the classroom and out of the circus I've been wondering if it's time I started making a few formulas, developing methods of my own." I took a seat on the foot of her bed and crossed my legs and faced her, "I mean, what I really mean to ask is: are you a baker?" 

Lizzie shot up and snatched her headphones off, "Wh- what? What? What the fuck?" She seemed kinda spooked, "Raz, how long have you been there?" 

I checked my wrist, "About 18 minutes." Lizzie opened her mouth but I interrupted her, "I feel like I need to ask this or I'm going to go insane: where did you get the patterns for your clothes? Or is 17th century Grulovian fashion the new it thing?" 

Lizzie's face grew terrified, "Crap…" She stammered out, "I- I didn't mean to- I mean," Lizzie shut her eyes in embarrassment, "It's just… I-" 

"You think it looks cool." I finished the sentence for her, "That's fine, Lizzie. I don't think your, like, stealing my culture, or whatever. You just-" I didn't know how to say this, "If we ever meet any other Grulovians you might want to check with me before you pick out your outfit." 

The light in Lizzie's eyes went out and she grabbed her legs and mumbled into her knees, "I'm going to die."

"I mean, you look like a Mystical Baker Spinster. It just doesn't make any sense." I sadly shook my head at her. 

"Raz. I'm going to die." She started rocking back and forth in the bed. 

"Well, don't," I don't want Lizzie dead, I need to ask her what furniture she wants, "For the record I do think you look uh," I have to be careful with this, I don't want to lie to her or to think that I'm complimenting her- Lizzie doesn't really respond well to positive affirmation, "Cool. You look pretty cool, from like an objective point of view." 

Lizzie stopped rocking and mumbled, "Really? Y- you're not just saying that because you have to?" 

"Yeah," I lied, "You're, like, one of the coolest people I know." I painted the dark room with white lies, I casually scratched my nose and looked away disinterestedly- tapping into a deep primal apathetic cool guy mannerism that I'd rather keep locked up, "But, like, don't get a big head about it ." 

Lizzie let her posture relax against the head board of her bed, "Than-!" She spoke in a cheery high-pitched voice before correcting herself with a cough, "Sorry, I mean, like, thanks, " She rolled her eyes, "I guess… " She flashed me a small smile before going back to an apathetic smirk, "So what did you want?" 

Alright, it worked, I got Lizzie to get back to normal. All I had to do is inflate her ego back up. I can see now why cheering her up was handed off to me. "We've got 2,400 dollars to use for furnitu-" 

"Couch. We need couches." Lizzie casually put her headphones back around her neck and turned up her music.

I blinked, "Well, that's not allowed- I already want couches. We're supposed to be disagreeing over this." 

"Oh, sorry…" Lizzie's face twitched in a grimace as she thought, "Uh, I… really don't give a shit…" She scratched her head, "Nobody else doesn't give a shit, right?" I'm okay with her cursing around me, it honestly does make me feel pretty good that she treats me like an equal and not a baby or something.

"Huh, well Lili kinda doesn't care what we get- but it's different how she doesn't care." I bobbed my head in consideration before giving her a nod, "Yeah, I think your answer is good enough." I got off her bed to go report to Adam. 

"Wait," Lizzie asked, "I-is that all? You just came here to terrorise me about my outfit and then ask me what I wanted?" 

"Uh, yeah?" I cocked an eyebrow at her, "In case if you haven't noticed: I'm pretty annoying." 

"I wouldn't say that!" Lizzie covered her mouth from how uncool she was being and coughed again, "I mean, uh," She relaxed back down on the bed and flashed me a thumbs up, " You're pretty cool yourself, kid ." 

I left before Lizzie made me feel even more embarrassed. I know I'm pretty tough when it comes to psychic damage, but Lizzie hits me where it hurts. 

Chapter Text

It was my turn to run from a conversation. I made my way to where Morris and Adam were at: Morris' little section. He probably had the most junk out of all of us, stacks of records and DJ equipment hooked up to a bulky gray laptop covered in stickers advertising bands and record labels nobody would ever listen to. But I did notice a The Firestarters sticker, I know the members. 

"Whoa, dude, Morris!" I exclaimed, I figured I should try to get in Morris' good graces. He pressed the pause button on the record he and Adam were listening to, "I didn't know you dug The Firestarters! I've listened to them practice and they're really, uh- man, I don't really wanna say cool because that's the opposite of their whole deal-" 

Morris smiled, " Fire . That's the word you're looking for." Morris pursed his lips and nodded with eyebrows raised, "But you saw them live? Man, Raz, that's pretty choice ." He quickly TK'ed a record into my hands, "I got my hands on their demo last month," I was about to snatch it up but he raised it and shot me a look, " Be careful, little dude. Radio Copy. Only got one of those, and I'm pretty sure it's gonna be worth a lot in a couple of years. That cat Quentin can scratch and Phoebe is a genius on drums-" I reached for it again- this time more carefully, Morris chuckled and TK'ed it over, "I mean- if I trust anyone with my records it'd be you." He prodded my chest with a smirk and hiked his thumb to the stack of TPT 45s, "You kept these babies in fantastic condition. Shame about the mildew damage on some of the album sleeves, but hey- still expensive as hell." 

"Yeah, Raz." Adam nodded with a blissful sigh, "Mate, listening to these is electrifying! It's like I'm right there! Ha! Loads better than that bootleg I bought offa All-Seeing-EyeBay…" He let out a dark chuckle, "A bloody scam is what it was… but I guess that's what I get." He flashed me a knowing look, "The internet is a sketchy place, Raz." 

I nodded, I have read of the dangers of the internet before. "Yeah, I make sure I have an adult present whenever I use a computer." I scratched the back of my neck, "I actually got a librarian help me track down a couple of those 45's using a search engine , I don't really know how to use computers all that well. We didn't have any at the circus." 

"Wow." Morris' eyes glazed over and he shook his head and flashed me a smile, "Well, seeing as your mentor is, uh… imprisoned for being a war criminal- I'll help you out in getting acclimated to the digital age." I slapped on my goggles and readied myself, Morris shot me a confused look, "Okay, no. Stop that." I took off my goggles and blinked, "Listen, dude- computers aren't a big deal. Lotta people say that Brains are like organic Computers , but it's the other way around: Computers are mechanical Brains . And you get Brains- pretty well. So don't freak on me." 

Adam retrieved a small spiral address book from his pocket, "Raz, write this down." I nodded and retrieved my journal and pencil from my bag, "Your work email address is Raz dot Aquato at Motherlobe dot psi." I wrote that down and Adam took a peek at my journal and shook his head, "No, like the symbol period and the symbol at." I quickly nodded, that makes more sense than razdotaquatoatmotherlobedotpsi, "A common mistake, but you'll get the hang of it." 

My hands were shaking, "Wow." I gave a low whisper, " I've got an email address!" I laughed, "That's so cool! I can't wait to send people electronic mail! Beats the heck out of paying for stamps!" 

Morris blinked, "Yeah, email is pretty cool. Want me to set you up with a Friendster?" Morris immediately started pressing buttons on his laptop, I took note of the buttons he pressed- it's the same keyboard configuration that my mom's typewriter uses. I would practice on it sometimes, but I wasn't allowed to use her ink ribbons because they are expensive. "Oh, and Phoebe and Quentin say: Yo ." 

I thought about what I should reply with for a couple seconds, "Tell them I said Sup. " 

Adam shuffled some papers and looked up from a clipboard, "Set up Raz a personal email," He jerked his head to me, "It's good form to keep your personal life separated from your work life. So don't talk about being a Psychonaut on social media, mate. Also: we are super spies for a clandestine organization." I nodded, that makes sense. 

"Already ahead of you. Raz: write this down," Morris continued typing and I got my pencil ready, "Your personal email address is Raz dot Aquato at KLOB dot net." He gave a sly smile to Adam, "I've got my own personal email server for the radio station now that I can afford it."

Adam let out a low whistle and hiked a thumb over to Morris, "Big spender over here. Basically, a Server is like the Brain Frame but with computers instead of Brains." Alright, that makes sense, actually. 

"So, let's just set up your Friendster real quick and call that for this small lesson," Morris turned the laptop to me, "Pick out your username and password. Your username is kinda like your codename- but don't actually make your username eggbeater ." I stopped typing and pressed the backspace key, I kinda blanked and just typed in the first thing that came to my head: sigh-kick, kind of lame: but it's just Friendster, so who cares? Morris chuckled, "And your password is, well you probably know what a password is." I nodded, "Good. Just make sure it's a mixture of letters and numbers and symbols and write it down somewhere." I typed in L1L14eva and pressed the confirm button. 

A new web page opened before me and I was greeted with the sight of my new Friendster profile, "Wow, thanks, Morris!" I cheered. I don't have any friends right now, but I do know Malizzgula . I quickly typed the handle into the search bar and found Lizzie's profile. I then sent her a friend request and made the mistake of clicking on her profile. 

"HOOOOOW CAN YOU SEE INTO MY EYES, LIKE OOOPEN DOOO-" Morris quickly turned the plugged in speaker cabinet down and cringed. 

"Dude. Autoplay? Who's freakin' page are you eve-" He went over to glance at the screen and his eyes went blank, "Okay, I understand." He shut his eyes and shook for a moment before sighing, "Alright. I'm okay now." He bobbed his head back to the DJ equipment, "Me and Morris are gonna go back to digitizing. Holla if you need something, just- uh, don't click on any links that lead to somewhere other than Friendster." I nodded and Adam and Morris quickly shot each other a stinkface before going back to work. 

Malizzgula's profile picture is a close up photo of Lizzie's frown. 

I am at a loss for words and thoughts. The picture was so profoundly lame that it almost wrapped around to being cool, but didn't reach it- instead I found it completely hilarious. I retrieved the Otto Matic from my bag, I'm pretty sure I can connect to the laptop with one of the crazy looking dongles that hung loose from the laptop. After a minute of waiting I got the drivers installed- not sure what that meant, and figured out how to upload a profile picture onto my profile. Using computers is not that hard, it turns out- granted I have had some experience with that helpful librarian lady when we were in Los Marblés. I changed my profile picture to a photo of my open mouth in an embarrassed grimace, in response to Malizzgula's profile picture. I think it'll be a funny joke in the long run, but it's probably going to take some set-up in order for it to land. 

Satisfied I went back to Lizzie's page to see what kind of posts a person posts on Friendster. Her most recent post was made one hour ago, it was a photo of herself holding what looks to be an energy drink can in a bathroom. I don't see the camera in the mirror so I imagine she's got an Otto Matic too. Or she's some kind of wizard. The photo was captioned: " My b!tch of a sister finally let me borrow her laptop. Sry 4 being afk. Currently Listening To: Low by Rhinestone Pickup Truck" . This post has 700 likes and 30 comments. I gave it a like, I feel bad for clowning on her so I just pressed the button.

This is all I can take at this moment. I signed off of Friendster and placed the laptop back on Morris' desk. Serendipitously, the door opened and Gisu and Norma entered. Hopefully bothering them will get my mind off of what I just saw. I quickly sauntered over to the door. 

"What the hell do you mean a diluted psilirium solution? How does that not sound dangerous to you?" Norma complained as she popped open a pill bottle and chewed on an antacid. 

"Quit your bitchin', Norma." Gisu rolled her eyes, "Trust me. We ran tests on ourselves- and Otto and I are fine ." 

I held the door open for them and was about to close it when Dion stepped on my foot, "Oops! Crap, Raz , watch out dude." He shook his head and wheeled in a small yellow keg-looking barrel on a dolly, "I'm told this stuff is, like, toxic to psychics. And probably non-psychics." He sighed before ruffling my helmet, "Sorry about the foot, bro," It didn't hurt that bad, he quickly pushed his hand outwards and shoved me back, "But get the hell outta my way."

I sighed, "Is that psilirium?" I twitched my nose at the container, a small pump was affixed to the top and a long clear plastic tube coiled around it, "Yeah, that stuff is pretty dangerous. Sorry for getting in your wa-" I went to close the door only for another foot to slam on mine. 

"Ouch! Jeez, Raz!" Frazzie cradled her forehead, I grimaced as I realized that I closed the door on her on accident, "I know you've always been a bit clumsy- but watch it ." She sighed and shook her head. 

I'm not clumsy, you can't be a Psychonaut if you're clumsy . I'm just kinda distracted right now seeing as we just wheeled in the most dangerous substance known to psychics right into where we sleep. "Sorry, Frazzie." I sighed and checked to see if anyone else was in the hallway waiting to step on my foot. 

"Oh, hey, Raz!" Lili ran up to me and gave me a quick hug, "Dad is doing fine!" She released me and gave a embarrassed cough. 

"That's great to hear!" I sighed in relief and closed the door behind Lili, "Oh, and don't freak out: but we got some psilirium in the room now. Probably for the Brain Tumbler Array." 

"Oh." Lili stopped dead in her tracks and gripped my hand, "R-really?" 

"Yeah," I took a sharp intake through my nose, Lili seems kinda concerned about psilirium after the Rhombus, "I guess it's a good thing you put on that psilirium personal protection suit." 

She took a slow breath and relaxed her grip, "Y-yeah…" She shot me a worried look and I nodded and gripped her hand a bit harder. 

"It'll be fine. Whatever they got planned, Gisu and Otto tested it on themselves. Maybe it's, like, resistance training or something." I gave her a reassuring smile, "Probably a good idea to get more experience working with it- and I'll be here , right beside you, every step of the way." 

She gave me another hug, "Thanks, Raz. I don't know what I'd do without you." 

I chuckled, "Don't mention it. You're stronger than you think, Lili-" 

"Seriously." She broke the hug and gripped my shoulders before giving me a wide-eyed stare, " I. Don't. Know. What. I'd. Do. Without. You. " I sighed and nodded. Seemingly satisfied, Lili pirouetted and started walking forward, only to run into my older sister Frazzie. 

"Oh, sorry!" Lili frowned and held up her hands, "I didn't mean to run into you like that. You must be Frazzie! It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Raz's girlfriend, Lili. I- I hope we can get along." 

Frazzie immediately bent down and tilted her head at Lili, after blinking a few seconds she opened her mouth, " Adorable ." She stood up and nodded to Lili, "You don't ever have to worry abou-" Her eyes shot open and she pointed at the handkerchief tied around Lili's head, "Oh. My. God." She looked at me and immediately took my hand and kicked open the door and dragged me into the hallway. "Raz. What the hell? " 

"What? The handkerchief? I think Nona was just being nice and approving of Lili and I's relationship." I broke free of her death grip and sighed, "It's not a big deal or any-" 

" Not a big deal? " Frazzie hissed, "Raz. What the fuck?" She paced around and waved a finger in front of my face, "Maybe not a big deal to you ! Jesu-" She threw her hands in the air, "I thought we raised you better than this! " She screeched and shook my shoulders, " NOT A BIG DEAL?!! Think about how LILI FEELS - YOU CHAUVINISTIC PIG!" She lifted me up by my jacket lapel, "What about HER FEELINGS?! YOU EVER THINK ABOUT THAT?!"  

"Uh, yeah. I care a ton about her feelings." I arched my eyebrow, "We're even getting a joint savings account. She's my first ever friend and has an irreplaceable place in my heart." I held up my wrist, "Also we have friendship bracelets." I shook my head and sighed, "I'm just talking about the marriage stuff-" Frazzie's grip tightened, "We're 10 , Frazzie!" 

"Oh yeah." Frazzie blinked and set me down, "Sorry, Raz. I just-" She sighed, "The way she looks at you, Raz. She- I want to protect her." 

I'm not gonna get mad at Frazzie about that, "I understand completely, trust me: Lili means a lot to me. We've only been together for a couple of days, and I know it sounds kinda silly, but she is someone who I would like to be beside my entire life-," Frazzie raised her eyebrows and squinted, "I don't know what the future holds," I'm pretty sure Dion does, "But no matter what I want Lili to be a part of it." 

Frazzie sighed and rolled her eyes, "Good answer. But if I find out that you hurt her I will kill you." Her voice turned sing-song and she got closer to my face, "I have spent my whole life training to fight psychics . I could make it quick and painless," She smiled sweetly and slowly shook her head, "But if you hurt Lili, I promise you: I will take my time. " 

I nodded, "I'm just glad you like Lili." I sighed in relief, "I mean, I was planning on running away from home and cutting all my ties with the family, so if any of you disapproved of the relationship I would've just cut you off with no hesitation. But, it really means a lot to me that you like her." 

"Ha!" Frazzie cracked a smile and gave me a noogie. " Great answer. If you're man enough to say that to mom then I'm fine with the relationship." 

"Oh, for sure." I nodded my head, "I've been waiting for an excuse for years !" 

"Okay, well that's troubling." Frazzie stopped and sighed before opening up the door. 

Lili stood like a stone in front of us, Frazzie smiled and leaned down to pat her head, "You can call me big sis , if you wanna. It's a pleasure to meet you too, Lili!" 

"Okay!" Lili happily replied, "Whew." She sighed in relief, "Don't say anything, but I was way more worried about you liking me than Dion." Me and Frazzie shared a laugh at that. 

All three of us walked up to Dion as Norma and Gisu were arguing. 

"Saw you set up the tent." Dion didn't bother looking at me as we listened in on Gisu and Norma debated acceptable Brain Tumbler diagnostic values, "Sorry about the Tarot cards, again. You probably saved up a lot for those." 

"Yup, 15 bucks down the drain…" Dion and Frazzie hissed and pat my back, "I'm not too heated about it though, I was playing with fire." I sighed, "But I made some cash selling some psitanium arrowheads, I collected about 10k and Otto gave me a nice 8k for them." I flashed an envelope I retrieved from my messenger bag, "You guys need anything? I've been thinking about buying new clot-" 

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Dion and Frazzie screeched. 

"Sorry for cussing!" Frazzie covered her mouth. 

"Yeah," He scratched his neck at the look Gisu and Norma flashed tbem, "We're just- uh, it's… you know how it is with Raz." Norma and Gisu blinked and nodded their heads and resumed arguing. 

"What?" I asked, "What do you mean how it is with Raz? , what the heck is that supposed to mean?" 

"It means," Frazzie rolled her eyes, "You haven't been gone for even a week and you've saved the world like 3 to 4 times, and now you almost have 10 thousand dollars." 

I raised my hands defensively, "I mean, I know it's not super crazy- maybe enough for a couple semesters of tuition when I'm in college. But, I've got a couple pieces of Ur-Psitanium that Otto says that-" 

"Dude. Did you just say pieces of ur-psitanium ? In plural?" Gisu held up a finger to Norma's lips. 

Norma blinked and turned to face me, after digging Gisu's finger out of her ear she spat out, " What the fuck? " She open her mouth and closed, "I'm sorry for cussing but-" 

"Yeah," I cut her off, "I get it. I do crazy stuff, all the time. I don't even know what a Ur-Psitanium even is , I've never even read about it in TPT-" Norma opened her mouth but I continued to stop her from Norma-ing, "But I can use context clues . It's rare. I get it." 

Norma closed her mouth, "Wh- what do you mean by Norma-ing?"  

"You know exactly what I mean by Norma-ing …" I shook my head and turned my attention back to my siblings, "I was talking to Mitrala about maybe sending them to school or something- but I know that that isn't really my call to make." I sighed, "I thought maybe if I sold them and went out dowsing for more I could afford to put Queepie and Mitrala in a good school- but… that's just me poking my nose where it doesn't belong." 

"I get where you're coming from, Raz." Dion shook his head, "But the family is broken up enough as it is- especially with the whole Nona stuff… I think we should all stick together for now. More than ever." 

"Well…" Frazzie scratched her head, "Mom and Dad feel pretty comfortable setting up in QA, maybe we can talk them into settling down - just for a little bit. I mean, Dion, you'll be 18 in like 2 years. I know you love the circus, but I think we've worked hard enough over the last few years to, just, take it easy ." 

Dion sighed, "Sure. Whatever." He shrugged his shoulders, "I don't care what we do, so long as we do it as a family ." 

"Oh. You're thinking about settling down, in the Area?" Norma slithered her way over to us, Gisu looked at Norma and rolled her eyes and continued typing, "What do you mean slithered? " Norma hissed. 

"Okay, what's going on?" Dion blinked I'm confusion, "Are you weirdos, like, mind talking or whatever? Have a little tact. Some of us aren't psychic." He lied. 

"What?" Norma asked me, she adjusted her glasses and looked from me to Dion. 

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Dion squinted his eyes and puffed up his chest as he focused on his form . "Watch it, Normo, that isn't what I meant. I appreciate trying to keep me in the loop, but keep it to words and not my mind." 

Norma cleared her throat and gave a small bow, "My apologizes." She turned to me, "Okay. Wow. I wasn't expecting that." Neither was I honestly. 

"Alllllrighty." Frazzie pat Dion's back, "Uh, Norma didn't mean anything by it. She's just being nice. I think." 

"No, She most definitely wasn't being nice. She doesn't know how to do that." I shook my head and Norma sighed, "I guess considerate was a better word… uh," I wondered how to go about this, "Norma and I share a very, uh, special mental bond: she can hear my thoughts because of some mishap, and I can hear hers- if I wanted to. I can turn it off because I focus my form," Frazzie and Dion nodded, "But she can't because she doesn't have the training." I sighed, "I'm gonna help her out with that." 

Frazzie stopped dead in her tracks, "Wait." She turned to Lili, "Do you know about Norma and Raz's special mental link?" 

"Hahaha, oh my God." Lili gave an extremely awkward laugh, "Trust me, Frazzie. Uh, I am not worried about Norma. She's 4 years older than Raz and … if you could hear some of the thoughts Raz has about Norma…" She shook her head at me, "I like Raz and all, but he can be very hurtful." 

"Yes, Raz is mean to me." Norma whined like a little baby who pooped her diapers, "I am not a little baby. You are a baby." I am surprised Norma can even stand with her diapers so full of poop, she turned to face Frazzie, "As you can see I see Raz as an annoying younger brother, who also happens to be able to torture me psychically." Norma also smells like diaper, "I also like them a little bit older, uh," Norma gave an embarrassed smile to my elder sister and my stomach turned, "H-how old are you, Frazzie?" 

"Whoa." Dion gave a low whistle and whispered to me, "Normal has a crush on Frazzie!" I rolled my eyes at captain obvious, " Dude, you know about Frazzie's deal with cheerleaders! I know you hate Normal, but like, I'm pretty sure she's your best friendemy soooooo: Normal is probably gonna take the rejection hard ." Judging from Norma adjusting her glasses and staring at her shoes she is probably hurt by this revelation and I am torn between feeling happy at her pain and feeling embarrassed. And maybe a little bit sad for her. At the moment I am deciding to feel happy.

"Okay, Dion." Frazzie rolled her eyes, "You do remember that Norma can read Raz's mind, right?" Frazzie gave a small smile to Norma, "Uh. I mean, I didn't know you were a cheerleader… but," She squinted her eyes at Dion, "I am over holding onto my prejudices … I am… okay with… your kind now, Norma." 

Norma raised her head, "Er. Sorry. I have a problem with, um, I figure I should shoot my shot because you miss 100 and 10 percent of the chances you don't shoot. O- or, or something." I am going to puke, this is the worst thing ever, "Not that I think of you as like a conquest or anything! Haha! No, I just am very, um," Norma looked at me for help, because she wanted advice from me about how to handle confessing to my sister . Norma mouthed please and I rolled my eyes, Norma should just admit that she's lonely, "I'm very lonely. I'm so lonely. I just want someone to talk to. And I think you're really cool, 

"I was um, watching you practice and- I'm sorry for watching you practice, you probably didn't notice it because I was invisible, sorry," Norma unfortunately continued as if she was teaching a class and losing her train of thought, "Um, it was really cool to me all the circustry stuff you do because I'm- or I was a cheerleader and I thought-" 

"You thought," Frazzie caught herself and took a sharp inhale through he nose to calm down, "You thought that the ancient art of Grulovian Circustry was in any way comparable to cheerleading? " Norma blushed and nodded, "I-", She looked at Dion, "Okay, fine. Norma, do you wanna get dinner?" 

"Please." Norma took a deep breath and threw on a stoic face, "That's all I've ever wanted. I can die happy now. I've been rejected a lot of times." I wonder why. 

"D- did you just agree to go out with a cheerleader just to prove some kind of point to me about psychics? " Dion asked Frazzie, the confusion on his face was palpable. 

"No." Frazzie nodded, "I mean, uh. Whatever. I mean Norma seems… nice and my 10 year old little brother got a girlfriend before me- plus, we kiiiinda don't get a whole lot of chances to talk to people our own ages. It's not like I'm going to marry her or something." 

I blinked and grabbed Dion's shoulders, "RIGHT?!" I started shaking his shoulders, "THEY AREN'T GETTING MARRIED, RIGHT?!"  

Dion brushed my hands off, "Dude. I don't know. I'm not psychic. Plus: like, relationships aren't fate or destiny or something. If you think like that you'll go crazy." A non-answer, typical Dion, he turned his attention to Frazzie, "I don't really care about the whole psychic thing anymore, Frazzie. Still hate fortune tellers, but that's different. People are just people, some of them have stupid powers and do stupid things for stupid reasons: who cares? But-" He raised a finger at Frazzie, "You can't just play with that poor girls heart like that just to prove a lesson . That's like… evil." 

"Okay, whatever," She pushed Dion's finger out of her face and turned to Norma, "I like girls with glasses." She shrugged her shoulders. This sucks. I hope Norma doesn't get her hopes up. 

"I like girls who are nice to me. And talk to me." Norma nodded and got her hopes up as if she said something that wasn't totally desperate and sad. Frazzie just gave her a tight-lipped smile. 

I cupped my hands over my mouth, "Ata. Are you there?" 

"Y-yes, Razputin? Are you in distress?" Ata materialized as a glowing turquoise hagfish. 

"Could you please initiate the self-destruct sequence?" I pleaded. 

"Ah, Raz. No, it's fine. Me and Norma wouldn't of worked out, anyways. I did some soul searching and I think my special someone is out there. But it's not Norma." Ata turned to Norma and gave a small bow, Norma nodded in response, "Sorry, Norma. I- I think I like cold girls. Who have ice powers." Norma rolled her eyes and mouthed typical . Ata dematerialized. 

"Dude. That's like a crazy type of lady to have a predilection towards." Dion shook his head, "Poor slug-lady." 

"Wait." Lili stopped, "This ship has a self-destruc- oh." She bobbed her head, " Otto. Yeah, that checks out." 

I slapped on my goggles and walked over to Gisu, "Alright, let's get this Brain Tumbled. Because- I cannot take another character moment." 

Lizzie appeared. She had a silver laptop tucked under her arm, she gave me a nod, "Uh, thanks for sending me a friend request on Friendster. You're, like, my first ever real friend I've ever got on there." She's being very real right now, she is giving me real talk, this is a bad time for this, "I- I'm really glad I joined the intern program and got to meet everyone here and you. It's been really cool." 

"Yeah, I'm glad I met you too, Liz'," I nodded and sat down in a reclining chair and shot a look at Gisu who gave me a curt nod of understanding, she started typing, "I got a feeling that we're gonna be friends forever. So, might as well get that Friendster stuff outta the way." 

Lizzie rolled her eyes, "Yeah, pfft, Friendster … it's like, social media? More like anti-social media… You really get me, Sigh-Kick ." Lizzie gave me a nod, "And did you get a chance to listen to that track?" 

"Uh, nah," I quickly made an excuse, "I liked the post cuz I couldn't figure out how to, um, save it for later…" 

"Oh, cool, I can uh, teach you how to use the computer and stuff. I just think, you know, with psilirium we should get you to listen to something besides calliope music." I flashed her a thumbs up and shot Gisu a short desperate glance, "Actually, that song made me think of you and Lili, since, like, she'd be visiting your mind. It sounds kinda harrowing- letting someone in your mind like that, and I thought the song would be… poignant." 

"Gee! Thanks, Lizzie!" Lili quickly caught on to my psychic distress and sat down on a chair next to me, "Maybe you can, uh, send me a mixtape or something? This whole psilirium stuff with my dad makes me kinda worried about it…" 

"Oh, yeah! For sure-" Lizzie's voice jumped up an octave and she quickly caught it, "I mean, yeah, totally, dude. You two are pretty cool." 

"Can it, Lizzie. You can torture Raz later. " Norma sighed and slapped on a pair of goggles, I think she stole them from Sasha, "I didn't steal the goggles, Raz. Agent Nein gave them to me. You're just jealous ." I mean, yeah . I am pretty jealous.

"Uh," Dion walked up to me and whispered, "Why is that blue scarecrow chick dressed up like a Pretzel-Making Cat-Lady Wizard?" 

"Hey, Norma, Gisu?" I desperately asked, "How are we doing?" 

I felt the Brain Tumbler turn on, "5 seconds, Raz." Gisu yelled, "Keep your arms and legs within the ride at all times!" 

"Have fun in there you two!" Norma yelled. 

I felt Lili and I's consciousness' blend into one. Usually there is some discomfort, but it actually was pretty pleasant- no Introjection Feedback whatsoever. 

We woke up inside a bathtub in a brightly lit office building's lobby. I casually stepped out into the flooded lobby and offered Lili my hand, "I'd like to introduce to you the corners of my mind!" She grimaced as she stepped into the water, "Er, sorry about the flooding- but, hey! It's only, like, knee-deep! Usually it's much deeper." 

Lili sighed and took a look outside the entrance door behind us, rain pelted the glass and thunder shook the building, "I guess I was expecting a lot worse." This almost hurt my feelings, "At least this building seems… clean." I nodded. 

"YEEEEEEP, I DO A PRETTY GOOD JOB KEEPIN' THIS PLACE CLEAN." Screamed my archetype, he was dressed in a smart white button down and black pants, he had a nametag on that read Building Manager , "SO, HOT STUFF, YOU THINKIN' ABOUT LEASIN' AN OFFICE?" He screamed over the sound of rain coming in through an open window he was currently attempting to dump pails of water out from, "LEMME TELL IT TO YOU STRAIGHT: YOOOOUUUU PROBABLY DON'T WANT THE FIRST FLOOR. OR SECOND. KINDA DAMP." 

"Er," I untied the friendship bracelet from my wrist and waddled over to myself, "I was thinking of rebranding the Aquato Psychic Detective Agency to the Aquato and Zanotto Psychic Detective Agency." 

The Building Manager casually tossed the pail over his shoulder and snatched the friendship bracelet, "YOU GOT NO SENSE OF BRANDING, PRIVATE DICK." He shook his head and waddled over to the desk and dug through his messy desk, we waddled behind, "TRY ZANOTTO AND AQUATO PSYCHIC DETECTIVE AGENCY- OH, WAIT- HA!" He threw the bracelet back to me after squinting at it and withdrew a red key affixed to a plastic brain Keychain and handed it to Lili, "HERE YOU GO, HOT STUFF." He quickly went back to the window to close it, "Z&A PDA! AIN'T THAT FUNNY!" He placed his hands on his hips and sat on a metal folding table behind the marble desk and turned on a TV before placing his soggy black leather loafers up on the counter, "YOU TWO DON'T WORK TOO HARD. NOW, LEAVE ME ALONE. IT'S RAZZY TIME." 

Lili gave a nod to my archetype and followed me silently to the yellow elevator. I opened my mouth to say something, I should probably apologize for how insane my archetype is. But that'd be like admitting I was crazy or something since he is technically me. 

Lili sighed and held my hand to shut me up. The elevator dinged and a torrent of water came out from the opening doors, sweeping us off of our feet. 

Chapter Text

"I THOUGHT YOU SAID THAT-" I yelled at my archetype as Lili and I drifted back to his desk, now soaked to the bone, "You fixed the elevator! I told you that we were having visitors! " 

"WHAT PART OF RAZZY TIME DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?" The Building Manager sighed as he turned up the volume of the portable black and white TV, "THE ELEVATOR ACTUALLY WORKS NOW. I PUT THE WATER IN THERE AS A FUN LITTLE JOKE. SORRY, HOT STUFF- THOUGHT YOUR VISITOR WAS GONNA BE THAT NORMAN LADY." 

Lili quickly got up and dried the both of us off with pyrokinesis before giving a polite nod to my archetype, "It was pretty funny. Sorry for disturbing your Razzy Time. " She quickly grabbed my arm and led me into the elevator. 

I waited for the elevator to close before turning to Lili, "You know you don't have to be that nice to him- I know Ford said to be nice to service workers, but that doesn't really apply to you-" 

"Raz." Lili frowned and pointed to the wide glass window that gave a view to the city, "What's going on out there?" 

I sighed and placed my hands on my hips before turning to face the totality of my mental landscape. 

We were slowly ascending the 13 floor elevator, on the ground level you can see people that looked like generic background characters from True Psychic Tales in various levels of distress. The levels of distress range from Slightly Annoyed to Rancorous Frustration . Their pulpy and undetailed 2-dimensional forms sighed and grumbled as they dumped buckets of water out of the windows of buildings and waded through the flooded streets trying their hardest to dodge errant floating pieces of trash. A line of commuters stared at their watches at a bus stop waiting for a bus that will never make it. A hotdog vendor is beset by a long line of soggy customers as he tries in vain to apply mustard to a hotdog only for the rain to wash it off. 

I pointed at the man in the smart dark blue suit standing at the front of the line for the hotdog cart, "That's Dodge Holman, he works as a paralegal for the Medulla & Oblongata Law Firm ." Lili opened her mouth and closed it, "A lot of people don't pay a whole lot of attention to background characters, but I feel like trying to flesh them out a little bit is rewarding- and it makes the mental landscape feel a little bit less…" I waved my hands in the air while trying to find the word, " One-note. " 

"Raz, I don't even know what a paralegal even is." Lili blinked, I don't either, "But you're telling me that you made all this? I know that the Senior Agents are pretty good at shaping their brainscapes, but… every person I see here has a job?" 

"Sure. Or at least, like, a personality ." I gave a small frown, "As for me making all this: it's more like I'm just focusing my emotions and shaping them into what you see here. Agent Nein's mental landscape is just a cube, and while I do see the importance of maintaining a… harmonius brainscape, I don't think I can handle that. I know my limitations. Agent Vodello's and Oleander's are an obstacle course, and that's kinda what I was going for with this." 

The yellow elevator climbed higher and you can make out the rest of the city. The office building was situated on top of a hill on the highest part of the city. Billboards illuminated by neon lights read slogans like: DELUGIONISTS: a better future UNDERWATER! and Tired of thinking? try: TELEVISION! . At the opposite side of the city whole buildings sat underwater, still blinking with lights and activities. Some commuters have taken to using boats to get around, and those unlucky enough to work in submerged buildings opted to don scuba gear and dive- briefcase in hand, to their different workplaces. Nothing was on fire, right now.

"You know, for the whole water curse thing…" I waved my hand in a vague direction, " This all helped me with vision training for a while to help me adapt in aqueous scenarios," I sighed, "But now that the curse isn't real it kinda seems… trite? Like a been there done that , stick-a-fork-in-it sort of deal." I turned to Lili, "I guess looking back it was a little bit comforting- so long as I listened to Nona's advice and stayed away from the water: I'd be safe…" Lili gripped my hand and I smiled at her concerned frown, "But now, I guess I feel a little bit less invincible… I used to think it was my destiny to die in water, but now that's up in the air. Things just got a whole lot more… vague. " 

"Well…" Lili squeezed my hand, "It's kind of troubling that you found comfort in thinking you knew how you were gonna die, but-" She gave me a tight lipped smile, "I think you realizing you aren't invincible just because you aren't around water is a good thing. Just- keep in mind that I'm here to help you, both on the field and in here." She slapped my helmet as the doorbell opened with a ding. 

I smiled, "Thanks, Lili." We stepped into the brightly lit hallway, "But other than the troubling metaphorical aspects of it all, how is it?" 

Lili stopped in her tracks and held her fists to her chest, "It's so cool looking! Jeez, Raz! It looks just like we stepped into a Silver Age True Psychic Tales issue!" She squealed in delight and stomped her feet before clearing her throat, "But, yeah, kinda messed up that the apocalypse is happening and everyone still has to go to work…" 

"Eh," I waved away her concern as we passed by doors that led into other offices, "They don't have to, in fact: all the sirens and weather reports tell them explicitly to stay inside. They're working because they want to ." I nodded in appreciation as I noticed that my archetype took the time to dust the tasteful crown molding on the ceiling, "I find it kinda comforting, even with a little bit of water people just keep on keeping on , you know?" 

Lili stopped, "Raz." She turned to me, "That's so stupid. I mean, I get the metaphor: the general public have no idea of the constant peril they are in on the astral plane and we Psychonauts are the only ones who see it. But, that isn't comforting . That's depressing ." I shrugged my shoulders, she sighed and pointed at a door that read The Security Offices of Security Officer Oleander , "What's Coach doing in your head?" 

"Uh, Coaching? I talk to him if I need help with coaching people." I blinked and motioned to the rest of the doors in the hallway, "We share the floor with the other Psychonauts I've met over the last couple of days, just the ones whose mind's I've visited. I'd feel kinda… weird just throwing a fleshed-out figment of them in my mind without seeing what their minds are like. It would be sorta like projecting on them, I'd rather figure out how their minds work before putting them in here," I chuckled and prodded my forehead, "Probably safer that way." 

"That's pretty cool- Wait." Lili squinted her eyes and crossed her arms, "You can pick and choose who is in your head? That takes years of practice to do!" 

"I mean, there are rules to it…" I started walking and thankfully she followed me, I didn't really want to be so loud outside of everyone else's offices, "In order for me to, just, manifest someone I need to have been in their head. This has the unfortunate side-effect that I can't really manifest anyone I haven't been inside the mind of. So I don't really have control over who is added in, but I can kind of control where." 

"So, like, your family is here?" Lili asked as she double-taked at Dr. Forsythe's Office . 

"Yeah," I nodded, "They are at the Aquato Stadium- and it was bone dry! Not flooded all the way to the roof!" I smiled, "I feel kinda better about them, not as anxious over their safety anymore. As for the campers, other Psychonauts, and other Junior Agents: I don't think they're in here because I've only known them for, like, a day and didn't step into their heads." I stopped in front of our office.

Lili stared at the window, the soft lights from inside outlining the Zanotto and Aquato Psychic Detective Agency decal. She blushed and ran her fingers on our names and turned to me. She spoke up after a couple seconds of silence, "Thank you for letting me in your head, Raz. It-" She sniffed and gave me a hug, "It means a lot to me." 

"It means a lot that you're here too, Lili." I spoke into one of her ponytails and spat out hair, "You'll always have a place in my head." She gave a final squeeze and let go before nodding, "So," I stepped up to open the door for her, "After you." 

I followed Lili in and closed the door behind us softly. The office is cozy , some people would say moderate or maybe cramped , but I would call it cozy . On the wall to the opposite of the door was a large window, ornate blue and white striped curtains hung closed but flashes of lightning and sirens still leaked through the folds. Two bookshelves stacked full with a mishmash of different books and folders flanked the windows. To the left and right of us were modern black and white couches sitting on top of orange and yellow psychedelic rugs for waiting visitors, the seats were empty at the moment. In the center of the room was a desk illuminated by a rustic Grulovian long free-standing lamp that held multiple stained glass fixtures shaped like eyes, some shut and some open. On top the desk was a phone hooked up to a blinking answering-machine, a rolodex, and a typewriter. Typing on the typewriter was a rat in a brown sports coat sitting on the desk. 

"Hello, Harold!" Lili greeted as she walked up to the reception desk, "What are you working on?" 

"Squeak!" Harold squeaked, he nodded to the two of us and we waved back, "Squeak." 

"Oh, a screenplay?" Lili raised her eyebrows and nodded, "That's pretty cool! I hope it's coming along nicely." 

"Squeak… squeak squeak ." He squeaked, we both gave a knowing laugh and bobbed our heads in understandment- we've all been there. Harold stopped typing and scuttled over to the answering-machine, "Squeak? Squeak squeak …" 

" 3 messages?! " I raised my eyebrows and turned to Lili, "That's gotta be a record! I guess rebranding was a good idea!" 

" Ooo! I wanna press the button!" Lili went forward and slammed the Play button. 

"Hello, my name is INSERT NAME HERE and I am calling on the behalf of extending your cars warran-" I sighed and Lili pressed the Delete button. 

"Hey, is this Zom-Zom's Eatery? I made a take-out order like 3 hours ago and I haven't received it, can I get a refu-" Lili pressed the Delete button and looked at me confused, I could only shrug my shoulders. 

"Hello? Zanotto and Aquato Psychic Detective Agency?" We both squealed in excitement and got closer to the machine, pressing our faces together, "I am calling to ask if you are interested in extending your vehicle's extended warran-" The light went out in our eyes and Harold pressed the Delete button for us. 

We both coughed and stepped back from each other. "Er," Lili pat my arm, "I guess it'll take a while for us to get some cases now that we're a team. But I'm sure word of mouth will spread soon." 

"Well," I bobbed my head back and forth, "I did tell everyone to kinda keep it down for now, I'm really only here to make sure you move in swimmingly and do some spring-cleaning before anyone else pops in. And a lot of pretty harrowing stuff has happened so I was kinda worried that this place would be a mess." I cracked a sly smile, "Guess I don't need to worry though, this place is muuuuch more put together than I was afraid of!" 

Lili thought for a moment and nodded, "Fine. You do have a point. This place should be leveled to the ground, you're holding up surprisingly well." She sighed and gave me a slight frown, "You're not just acting all macho to impress me, right?" 

"I don't think so…" I thought about that seriously but ultimately shook my head, "I think my head is still on my shoulders partly thanks to you and everyone else." I shuddered, "I don't even want to think about how this place would look if you weren't here to help me." 

Lili rolled her eyes, "Quit trying to butter me up, I'm not making out with you with Gisu and Norma watching over us." 

I threw my hands up, "That's not what I was trying to do! Come on…" 

She socked my shoulder lightly, "I'm just kidding, dork." She turned to her office on the left side of the room, "So… is the office furnished or should I see about cramming a desk in your ear or something?" 

I laughed, "I don't think that would work," I squinted, "Probably." Honestly, I am kinda nervous about Lili's office and I'd spend more time being anxious about it in my head, "But you can read my mind anyways." Lili rolled her eyes and nodded, "I… did my best? " I shrugged my shoulders and she cracked a smile, "I'm not exactly an interior designer- is there a badge for that?" Lili blinked and shook her head, " Damn . Well. I guess you can always let me know how to change it, I just hope it's not too bad…" 

Lili smiled and made her way to her office door and opened it, she immediately squealed in delight, "Plants!" She turned to me and hiked her thumb to the interior of the room, "Good." She gave me a nod of approval, "You remembered that I like plants." I blinked in confusion and nodded back, she ran deeper into the room and I followed. 

Lili's room boasted hand-beveled mulberry floors with a light amber shade that allowed the different colors of the wood to shine through. Ivy patterned crown molding and trim elements decorated the warm burgundy walls. To the left was a marble fireplace that Lili immediately lit causing the room to glow in a kaleidoscope of shifting colors from the stained glass fireplace screen. Above the fireplace was a portrait of Lili punching Dr. Loboto in the face, and to the sides were large windows with circle patterned purple and gold curtains that hung open giving a view to the outside downpour. Lili's desk sat at the opposite wall to the door, a large drafting desk illuminated by a array of wrought-iron iron hanging lanterns. Half of the desk was taken up by planters filled with… plants. Along the wall to the right was a line of filing cabinets and bookshelves- also there were planters. These planters were also filled with plants. 

Lili quickly ran to the ornate red velvet 2nd Empire chair and sat down to inspect her new desk, "Whoa! I can do so much activities here! Screw The Hagfish Room, I'm gonna do all my homework in here!" Oh, I guess I did a pretty good job, "Oh, wait. I don't think I can astrally project into your mind, like, 24/7…" Lili kicked her legs and leaned forward to check the planters. 

"Well, I still don't know exactly how Ford took Mental Residence in my head," I walked forward and took a seat on the white whicker chair in front of her desk and took out my Field Note Journal and opened it, "I'm pretty sure he throws out a fully-realized Mental Projection of himself and swaps places with it- that's probably how teleporting works." Lili wasn't really paying attention and stared wide-eyed at the plants, "But, he most likely was able to teleport with ease because he broke his mind and splintered it into different archetypes- or aspects." I scribbled some notes down while Lili lept up on the chair to wordlessly stare at the plants around her, she must really like plants, "So it'd be easier to swap places - again: I'm not sure if that's exactly what he's doing, with the three dimensional projection. But manifesting your own semantic summation? You've got to really understand yourself completely before even trying something like that-" 

"Raz." Lili interrupted me with a quiet whisper, " I've never seen some of these plants before. Just read about them. I- I'd never thought I'd be able to see a Toxihedron psyicanth." She pointed a shaking finger at a dangerous looking red flower on her desk, "Some of these plants have been extinct for decades. " 

"Oh, really?" I scratched the back of my head and cringed, "Sorry, Lili. I guess I look like a rookie or something. I was just reading some books I borrowed from Bob this morning about herbaphony and the different flora in the area and thought you'd like to have some samples on your desk. I know they're not real or anything, but I thought you'd like them…" My voice died at the end as she lept up from the table to get in my face. 

" This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. " Lili screamed as she shook me by the lapel of my coat, " THANK YOU. " Lili looked up at the ceiling, "GISU. NORMA. I'M SORRY." My look of confusion was erased when Lili gave me a small peck on my cheek, "You did good with my office, Raz." She took a deep breath and turned around, "Give me a minute to calm down." She started waving her hands in front of her face to cool down. 

I let out a sigh of relief, "No problem, Lili. I'm just really glad you like it-"

Lili interrupted with a scream and her head started smoking, " RAZ. A MINUTE ." She doubled over and took deep breaths to try and get back to normal. 

I nodded and stood silently for her to calm down. 

Chapter Text

"Alright." Lili took a quick breath and turned around with a stone face, "I'm better now." 

"Good. I was kinda worried," She flashed me a tight lipped smile and I chuckled before continuing, "So, uh, want me to teach you how to do that Psi-Tracing thing? This way we'll always be connected, psilirium doesn't manipulate Zener Fields so clairvoyance still works when we're around the yellow stuff- but I think having another avenue of communication might be good in those kinds of situations." 

Lili nodded and slapped on her purple goggles, "Yeah, get to teachin', turbo nerd." 

"Oh," I raised an eyebrow, "You can see through those things now?" 

"Oh. Yeah. I guess so." Lili scratched her head, "It's probably more effective in the Astral Plane." 

"That makes sense." Kind of, they are probably made with some kind of psitanium composite material, "So. Uh. Let me get in teacher mode ." I quickly took off my helmet and changed my ringmaster jacket and scarf for a corduroy sports jacket, a white button-down, and a dark purple tie. "Now, Ms. Zanotto-" I crossed over to the desk and materialized a chalkboard to give Lili a visual aid, "This requires a short remedial lesson in Mental Connections, unless if you feel comfortable with the material! Then in which case-" 

"Glasses." Lili interrupted me with a curt nod, "Wear glasses." She commanded. 

Good idea, I need her to take me seriously. I materialized a black pair of horn-rimmed glasses and she nodded vigorously. I hopped up on the desk and beckoned to the chalkboard and gestured towards some of my notes that I have compiled over Mental Connections, "Now, a Mental Connection is defined as the act of linking two semantic concepts together through logic and observed phenomenon. To break it down even further a semantic construct is defined as the personal- or societal, definition of a concept. Essentially a semantic construct is just a thing. You think of the thing and your brain comes up with the definition of it." I felt the temperature of the room grow a bit higher and loosened my tie, only for it to get warmer, "Your personal definition of a thing is composed of the memories you have of it- but that personal definition? That's a memory too. And- as you know, memories get fuzzy over time, and sometimes they get more clear. There is a certain… interplay between our semantic constructs and the information that composes it. As our personal definition for things grows and matures, so does the understanding of our own memories and how we interpret new phenomena." Judging from Lili's smile and the twirling of her ponytail with a finger she was paying very close attention, I flashed her an appreciative smile, "Thank you for being such an attentive listener so far, Ms. Zanotto. Do you have any questions or comments?" 

Lili jumped and straightened her jacket before asking, "Mr. Aquato, how do Memory Vaults fit into this?"

"That's…" Lili is a fantastic student! "A wonderful question! I didn't even think of how our evolving semantic constructs affect Memory Vaults!" I quickly dug a stereoscope out from my satchel and clicked through it, as I expected it was the same. I handed it to Lili and she clicked through it as I continued, "What you are looking at right there is my first Memory Vault that materialized during my first foray within a Brain Tumbler. It is the episodic memory of me running away from the circus to attend Whispering Rock Psychic Summer Camp- take note of the mustachioed figure handing me the brochure!" Lili scrolled to the image and nodded, "I now know that the figure was my Nona in disguise. So we can theorize that Memory Vault memories are ones that are saved in a sort of time capsule - a memory that exists on its own as a self-contained circuit of concepts made and preserved in that very moment ." 

"That's pretty neato." Lili nodded and handed the stereoscope back to me and I put it back in my bag, "So why is that so important?" 

"An excellent jumping off point!" I was high on scholastic fulfillment, I was homeschooled so I never got a taste of what it'd be like to be in a classroom, "This leads us to our next concept, a Semantic Summation . Basically think of it as our idea of a person. The more concepts we learn about someone the more fleshed out they are to us. The majority of our understanding of others is based upon the performances or masks they don when we observe them. The more facets and information we get about a person the more we understand them, but who they are in the moment is the end point of a long line of different moments- different thems . We are not static beings, but ones who change and adapt to our surroundings. For example: I'm not the same little boy in goggles that I was last week, now I have glasses on. So, the more you understand someone's past and history the better the Semantic Summation you manifest while making Mental Connections and Psi-Tracing. Memory Vaults are a critical asset to Agents on the field, they help fill in the blanks without needing to work so hard." I hopped from the desk, Lili strikes me as a kinetic learner- or at the very least a pyrokinetic learner, "Now, let's do some practical exercises." 

I manifested two constructs in the office: Movie Trailer Previews and Timekeeping . I turned to Lili, "Now, in order to make a Mental Connection you need to latch onto the concept, focus your concentration and listen to its voice. Once you hear it: surrender yourself to it. It sounds a bit daunting, but at the end of the day it's simply listening to someone talk about something." 

Lili shrugged her shoulders and stood up. She held two fingers to her temple with one hand and reached out to Timekeeping with the other. In an instant she teleported to the floating cloud, "A good Agent always keeps to an agreed upon schedule, no matter the circumstances." Echoed throughout the room. Lili let go of the thought and landed on the floor with ease. 

"That was easier than I thought!" Lili cheered, "It was really nice too! Like wearing your words like a blanket." 

"Congratulations, Lili! You really have a knack for picking up new things!" I feel an odd sort of pride welling up in my chest, "Now, for the next concept I would like for you to link it with the other. Bridging the two concepts together is Mental Connection, by linking them together we can understand and gather information about our targets through their own understandings-" 

Lili quickly jumped into Movie Trailer Previews to shut me up, "Movie Trailer Previews are the most important part of the theater experience, missing out on them renders an Agent unprepared for future pictures." She then linked the two concepts together with a pale purple line that seemed to glow with heat, "Me and Frazzie have both agreed to not invite Dion with us when we go to the movies, he spends too much time on his hair and we miss the Previews." 

Lili dropped to the floor on both feet, "Awesome! That was easy as hell, Raz!" She held up her hands in excitement and stomped over, "You know…" She gripped my tie and pulled me forward, "You're the only schoolteacher I haven't set on fire." 

"Y- you mean wanted to set on fire , right?" Lili pulled me closer and shook her head, "Well, I hope you can count on me if you ever need any help with-" Lili shut me up again with a kiss on my nose and it was my turn to have to cool down. 

"So. Do you think you can teach me to Psi-Trace now?" Lili asked as I slowly got up from my collapsed place on the floor. 

"Sure." I cleared my throat and made a note to send Gisu and Norma apology letters, and maybe a tasteful gift basket, "Now, Psi-Tracing is done by taking all the possible Mental Connections and Semantic Concepts we know about a person and combining them together to construct a road map of sorts to take us to the totality of an individual: their Semantic Summation ." I sat down on the desk again because my knees were still wobbly, "So, that feeling you got when you jumped into a semantic construct? Try to tune your mind to that frequency and feel out for other frequencies that would harmonize with that tone." A lofty explanation, but nuance is the best way to go about for concepts as nebulous as this. It's better to allow the Agent to fill in the blanks how they would fill them. 

Lili stood at the ready and proceeded after I shot her a nod. The room started to shake, every object in the room started vibrating with different intensities, "Interesting. Since the figments that constitute a brainscape are shaped by the totality of the target's semantic constructs: Psi-Tracing in a target's brain is probably very easy." The temperature in the room rose as countless tiny white-hot lines linked every object seen to every other object, "It may also be incredibly dangerous." Lili started laughing as the sounds of thunder and sirens ceased, a yellow light shined through the curtains and I walked over to take a closer look, "Whoa, that's a moon… er, brain, uh-" Squinting at the huge yellow brain that hung in the sky that illuminated the city with a glow as the rain slowed to a trickle I decided to take that sentence again: "Whoa, that's a Brain-Moon! Kinda troubling- obviously a manifestation of the psilirium deposit in the Rhombus." I nodded in appreciation to the newly lit up city, "But the natural light is nice and the rain has slowed down."

||Raz, I can see you now.|| I turned to look at Lili, her goggles glowing purple ||You look so COLD. But don't WORRY.|| The building started to shake underneath our feet and an almost deafening high pitched ringing attempted to shatter my eardrums ||MY HANDS ARE WARM!|| I could feel an intense heat creeping closer and closer, and instead of doing the sane thing of cracking open the smelling salts- I reached out my hand to the manically laughing Lili and she quickly snatched it. 

And then I felt the totality of my personhood getting pulled in for a warm hug. 

"That was fun!" Lili squealed, "I think I can do this now!" She waved her free hand at the walls and changed them from solid red paint to a purple wallpaper with a red and yellow diamond pattern, "Okay, now the room is perfect!" 

"Oh. That's pretty…" My head spun with the implications of Lili being able to directly affect my mental landscape, "FREAKIN' AWESOME! HOLY COW!" I hugged Lili tight and spun her around, "This is so cool!" 

"Yeah!" I let Lili down on the floor and she jumped up to the window, "I wonder what else has changed. The city kinda seems less depressing now that it's only kinda raining. Still flooded though." 

I took a peek outside the window, "I mean yeah the lowest parts of the city is still submerged- but only halfway. I think things are looking up! " I laughed at Lili as she flashed me a sad smile, "Come on! Don't give me that look… Like, the ground floor is less than half a foot of water!" I pointed down and Lili conceded a small nod with a sigh, "The busses are running! Letting you in my brain was probably, like, the best decision I've ever made in terms of my mental health!" 

"Raz," Lili blushed and rolled her eyes, "We can't have another character moment with Gisu on the controls, she might get upset with us." 

"Yeah, uh, good point. We probably spent enough time in here though, wanna call it? Might need to let the ol brainbucket marinate overnight with all the new seasonings you added just now." And I must reiterate: I know nothing about cooking. 

"Yeah, sounds good." Lili looked up and shouted, "YO! GISU, NORMA! REQUESTING EXTRACT IN T-MINUS 30 SECON-" 

I blinked and we were somehow transported onto the bottom of the ocean, "Oh. I guess I'm going to die here. I guess the curse was true," I sighed and then realized, "Oh, wait." I turned to Lili sitting in the chair next to me, "We sleep here." 

"Yup." Lili got up and quickly walked up to me, "Are you okay, Raz? You seem kinda weeeeeiiiir-" Lili spun around in a daze. 

I got up, "What's going on, Lili? Are you lactose intolerant? Because white sauce pasta has daaaaaaaaaiir" Oh man, something is going on. 

"Can you guys stop whatever it is you're doing?" Frazzie asked, I was too busy spinning around to see where she was at, "It's gonna make me hurl." 

"They're in a tumble-hole ," Norma said, her voice a bit concerned, "It's a side-effect of particularly intense Brain Tumbler sessions." 

"They were doing what with their brains?!" Exclaimed Dion, his voice frantic, "Jesus Christ! What kind of place is thi-" 

"Not that kinda tumble , Dion." Gisu awkwardly interjected, I smelt smelling salts and everything stopped moving, "You okay, little dude? What happened at the end in there? I wanted to pull the plug but Norma kept on insisting to keep it running." 

"Raz. Please debrief us with what happened." Norma stepped forward. 

"Uh, Lili Psi-Traced me in my brain and now has some control over my mental landscape." I blinked and looked over to Lili who snapped at attention after Sam cracked open some smelling salts for her. 

"That's dumb. And dangerous." Sam chastised as she took a whiff of the smelling salts, "You probably shouldn't let someone have that much control over your mental well-being like that. I bet it'd be easy to slip into toxic codependency or something. You should be focusing on Razzy Time in order to better know yourself before you commit that much into a relationship." 

"Raz isn't dependent on me, or anyone for that matter," Lili's voice was shaky, "B-but if I start being a bad girlfriend to Raz you'd tell me, right, Sam?" She grabbed Sam by the shoulders and spoke through gritted teeth, "Right?" 

"Oh, for sure." Sam nodded and offered the opened smelling salts to Lili who politely shook her head, "But, keep what I said about focusing on yourself in mind. If there are people out there who can maintain a balance between Relationship Time and Self Time it would probably be you guys. Since you beat Maligula and rescued the Grand Head of the Psychonauts together. Just- be careful." 

"Yeah…" Gisu scratched the back of her head, "If I knew that that was what was going on I definitely woulda pulled the plug. That just sounds-" Gisu gagged, " Troubling… " 

"It takes two to tango." Dion spoke up, "Way I see things: these dumbass kids are so stupid they got their brains all tied up together, maybe while they're working on the tangles they can help each other with old knots." 

"That doesn't make any sense," Frazzie blinked, "You're just saying words to hear yourself talk. Like always." 

"O-ouch…" Dion sounded actually hurt, "No, I mean like: they're still young and growing up is tough and scary when you're alone, and they can help each other out now that they have that special link." 

"Oh. I guess. " Frazzie blinked, "What you said the first time is still stupid though." Dion threw his hands up and sighed. 

"I actually thought that was pretty profound, Dion." Gisu patted Dion's back and turned back to us, "Uh. Sure. I guess this could be a positive thing. I just couldn't even begin to fathom how. But I'm not the ones wearing your musty boots." We both looked down at our shoes, they are kinda dirty, "Just- if you guys start having complications you need to communicate about them and maybe think about talking to a third-party." 

"I was just about to say that-" I waved a finger at Gisu as I turned my attention to Lili, "Listen, I know couples-therapy sounds like a bad word- but we are 10 we don't know what we're doing! At least I certainly don't! It's like: what am I supposed to do when I feel like I want to get closer to your dad and be his friend? " I turned to Gisu, "Would that be me overstepping my boundaries?" 

"Yeah! Good idea!" Lili turned to Gisu, "And also: I recently moved in with him-" She gave an excited giggle, "We share an office together now!" She cleared her throat and continued, "And I was wondering: should we institute a zero tolerance policy against PDA- even if the office is empty besides us two? Like does business mode stay on until we both clock out? We shouldn't treat that space like it's private, right?" 

"What." Gisu looked confused, "Why would you even ask me any of that? Listen-" Gisu placed her hands on our shoulders, "When I said third-party I meant literally anybody but me. Honestly- and you should definitely not listen to my advice, I think that you guys are allowed to make some mistakes. You're going to hurt each other eventually." We both raised an eyebrow at her and rolled her eyes, Gisu sighed, "You guys wanna know why I skate without a helmet?" 

"Uh, easy," Lili rolled her eyes, "Because you're cool as heck, duh." 

"Good answer-" Lili smiled and Gisu smacked her on the head, "But you're wrong. The correct answer is because: if I fuck up badly enough I might die ." She leaned forward and whispered into our ears, "And I do that to ensure that I'm always careful. If I wore a helmet I'd think I'm invincible, when in reality: the only thing a helmet does is make you look like a dork. You fall hard enough: and your ass is grass ." Our blood ran cold, "You two kids just put all your money on one horse in this race, you've got a lot at stake. So. Be careful- but don't trick yourself into a perceived state of invincibility." 

"Oh boy," I laughed and turned to Lili, "We're in trouble!" 

Lili nodded and held my hand, "Yup! We're doomed!" She gave it a tight squeeze, "But if I'm gonna be doomed I'd want it to be with you by my side." 

"Okay, that's cute and all- but you guys are really…" Gisu stopped herself and smiled, "Actually, nah. I guess that's kinda rad that you guys don't care that you're careening towards the pavement going 100 miles per hour. At least you know it- if anything I'm pretty sure that means you're taking my advice to its logical conclusion." 

"I suppose sometimes," Norma spoke up and looked at Frazzie, "Love isn't exactly logical." Frazzie looked at anywhere that wasn't Norma, "Sometimes it just happens, out of nowhere. It doesn't follow any rules." Norma scooted over to Frazzie's line of sight and my sister turned around, "Sometimes love is right behind you." 

"What." Frazzie turned around and was face to face with a seemingly emotionless Norma, "Uh." Frazzie looked a bit concerned, "You're a little… warm, Norma. Do you have a fever?" 

"Yes." Norma nodded. "I think I need to lie down." I guess I should see what her problem is, I took off my helmet to listen in on her inner-most private thoughts. Norma slowly collapsed face-down on the floor.

And if that wasn't bad enough now Raz is all up in my head like some kind of… thing that is usually found inside of things where they shouldn't be. Why did I say all of that? Do I think that acting desperate and sad is going to work? Am I sabotaging myself on purpose so I don't have to put myself out there and actually try my hardest only to fail? I just think she's pretty cool, I don't even know if I want her to hold me tightly and never ever ever let me go and smell her hair until the scent is burned into my nostrils. Like, I'm just guessing that I like her- probably.  

"Frazzie," I took a deep breath and turned toward my sister, "I would like to apologize for Norma's behavior, it's all my fault- sort of," I lied, "Since Norma Psi-Traced me she is suffering from a constant bombardment of emotional feedback from my own emotions. As you know affection is a very strong emotion," Judging from Frazzie's fast nod my bullshitting was working, "I am feeling these strong emotions towards Lili, but unfortunately Norma is suffering from that as well- her brain is also sending out the same emotions of affection and adoration, but with no target ," I gave my voice a sad timbre and Frazzie shot a look of pity at the comatose Norma. But, now that I'm saying this all out loud: it sounds kinda… plausible , "So- her brain is taking a teensy crush she has on you and exasperating it to such an extent that she is currently on the floor right now: trying her hardest to not say a word because everything that comes out of her mouth is her completely unfiltered. So, uh," I gave her an uncomfortable look, "I trust you, Frazzie, but I still have to ask: don't take advantage of her in this state." 

Raz. That probably is what is happening, but also: I was creeping on your sister this morning. I was hiding in the bushes using invisibility. She almost hit me with a throwing knife and I thought about jumping towards the knife on the off chance that she'd kill me and I'd die in her arms. This was all before Psi-Tracing you. Norma is making me second guess my thoughts and actions.

"Oh jeez," Frazzie blinked with a frown, she slowly squatted down to softly pet Norma on the neck, "I'm sorry, Norma. That must be the worst . And be incredibly embarrassing. Look- I promise not to use you or something for my own sick and twisted gratification and need for power over someone more experienced than me." That was oddly specific, "And I want you to know that I'm actually kinda looking forward to our date," She rolled her eyes and cupped her hand over Norma's ear, "It's my first date too…" She slowly got up and walked away from us, "But I'm gonna give you some space. Go sort out that Psi-Tracing stuff because getting leftover Raz emotion radiation or whatever sounds absolutely horrible." 

Norma calmly got up and nodded to Lili, "I'm pretty sure her lips brushed my ear so that was my first kiss." 

Lili nodded back, "Congratulations are in order." 

"You guys have a weird friendship," Gisu looked between the two of them and then to me, "When the hell did that happen?" 

"Lili is allowed to choose her own friends," I sighed, "And Norma is my friend too, kinda. I still think she's sort of lame, and this whole wanting to be killed by my sister in a romantic sort of way is probably going to lead to some disagreements in the future." 

"Is this true Norma?" Gisu turned to the chinless loser in glasses and a dumb hat, "Are you sort of lame and want to get murdered by his sister? If so: you probably need more help from a third-party than Raz and Lili." 

Lili gave Norma a small pat on the back, Norma looked at me with her dumb hat, "Your words don't work on me anymore, Raz. I know you don't mean it. I just got done working on your Brain Tumbler readings and you don't feel any hate towards me at all," Norma should floss, she also smells like a dirty vacuum cleaner, no wonder my sister secretly hates her, "Okay, well. That was kind of mean. But it's just you probably thinking those things as a defense mechanism since I'm in your mind without asking." 

"Uh, much like everyone else on the planet I don't think of you at all. You're the one obsessed with me." I didn't even bother looking at her and sat back down on the Brain Tumbler chair, "We really ought to get some couches." 

"I know you don't mean any of it, Raz," Lili shook her head and led Norma to a chair and motioned for her to sit as if she was a dog, "But to an outsider it kind of sounds like you have a chip on your shoulder or something when it comes to Norma," Norma nodded and obediently sat on the chair, probably because she is desperate for attention, "I don't treat Norma like she's my pet!" Lili threw her hands in the air and Norma placed her hands on her hips and shook her head at me, "Right Norma?" Norma shook her head and kicked her feet as Lili scratched behind one of her ears, "See, Raz! Norma is just my friend."

"Okay." Gisu sighed, "Actually, all three of you, and probably Frazzie- need professional help of some kind. Maybe go take up a hobby or something." 

"I like herbaphony!" Lili cheered, "Raz, we can garden together!" 

"Sounds cool," I flashed Lili a thumbs up, "I like to uh, um…" I was going to say read comics but I'm pretty much at the point where I can recite every speech bubble in TPT in sequence by memory, "In my free time I- recently, uh," Lili gave me a polite nod while everyone else in the room looked uncomfortable, It took me a while but I finally got to a hobby, "I've been messing around with computers ." 

"Oh, like coding?" Gisu excitedly asked. 

"No." I shook my head, "Uh, I like to move the cursor on the screen and I've been really getting into clicking things. Also! I have a work email and a personal email," I nodded to Lili who gave me back a tight-lipped smile, "You know, for personal stuff. Like, uh," What are personal topics? "If I needed to talk to someone about my personal stuff." 

"Personal stuff like what?" Lili asked. 

"Like, um," I squinted my eyes, there isn't a whole lot of topics I wouldn't talk to with people, I kinda like talking to people, I beckoned Lili forward and whispered in her ear " Carnival games, I'm actually really bad at them… " 

"Oh, wow!" Lili flashed me a small smile, "That was very brave of you to open up to me like that… I appreciate it." 

I turned to Norma, "If you tell anyone about that I'll tell Frazie about how you bite your toenails." 

"Raz, I am going to smother you in your sleep." Norma calmly wiped her glasses with a Jolly Jazzy handkerchief, "Quit spreading libel, your secrets are safe with me." She wishes it was libel, she squinted her eyes for a split second before curdling her lips into a smile, "Perhaps we can practice your carnival game skills at the entertainment center." 

I gasped, "How dare you imply that I am bad at carnival games!" 

"Oh. My. God." Sam stared at me with blank eyes, "Your from a carnival and you can't even play carnival games? My whole life is a lie."

"Ohhhhhh! Little man thinks he's got skills ? Huh? " Dion laughed, "Well, how about we head down to that entertainment center thing and see if you're just all talk - like you-" He prodded a finger at my chest, " Always are. " 

Everyone else in the room slit their eyes at me and smiled, I made a sound in my throat that sounded like a nervous gulp to the outside observer. But I bet now I can handle a couple games , I mean I saved the day multiple times this week! I should be more than just all talk now. Probably. 

Chapter Text

We funneled out of The Hagfish Room into the elevator, excited murmurs broke out amongst the group about what secrets laid inside the Entertainment Center. I walked in a haze, each footstep seemed heavier than the last and I found myself in the brightly lit elevator staring at my dumb as all hell reflection in the polished stainless steel doors. 

I'm turning 11 in three months, the big one-one . So you'd think with my advanced age I would learn a thing or two about not sticking my boot in my mouth, but I guess I just got a bit carried away. You see, I didn't really have a whole lot of friends growing up. I know I can kind of be a little bit awkward and stilted in social situations, and with Dion in the room I always have this weird… competitive side of me that comes out. Same thing with Norma, too. It might be because she's Sasha's mentee, and she's gotten to spend time with one of the people that I look up to the most.

I also have no idea how to act around other psychic's either, if I'm supposed to knock before telepathing or if there is some kind of unspoken rule on using clairvoyance on someone. And even if you took out the whole psychic thing out of the equation I still would have a tenuous grasp of how you're supposed to act when you're hanging out with friends. Usually what I do is say words and then people say words back to me, I usually try to keep things short and succinct when I shake down people for information. But now people are asking me how I feel about things and seem genuinely interested with me for once, and I'm kind of having a hard time understanding what to do or say. Should I infodump on people or just keep things to short sentence-long responses? Is it a good idea to not give the whole picture so other people can ask the questions they want or does that make me seem like a lame weirdo who wants people to talk to me? I'm perfectly fine with people not asking me stuff, I'm just glad they keep me around. 

"Well, Pootie? You coming or not?" I blinked at Dion's words, the elevator was empty save Norma and Lili who were shooting me concerned looks. 

"Yeah, just-" I cleared my throat and put on my goggles, "Let me put my game face on, I'll meet you guys in." 

"Take your time, Raz." Sam gave me an understanding look, "Shoulda took an antacid like Norma, Alfredo gives me bubble guts too…" 

"Oh, jeez. That's kinda gross…" Dion grimaced, "Sorry, I asked, pipsqueek. Take all the time you need," He was about to leave before he noticed Norma and Lili still standing with me, "Uh, guys? Might wanna vacate the elevator- if he holds it in for too long he might get cramps." 

"Yeah, don't worry about me, guys!" I gave an embarrassed look, "I'll catch up with you all soon. I just need to, uh, sort some stuff out ." 

Norma sighed, "Fine. If that's how he wants to be let's just…" Norma took Lili's arm and stomped off, "Let the big man sort out all his problems." 

"Raz." Lili let her legs go ragdoll as Norma dragged her off, "We are going to talk about this soon. As a couple." She seemed kinda grumpy, ||Don't leave me waiting too long. I get kinda… antsy when you're not around. And remember. You aren't alone anymore.|| 

||Thanks, Lili.|| At least she didn't seem too upset with me, ||I just feel kinda… overstimulated right now, thanks for understanding.||  

"Wait," I heard Gisu's voice as the elevator door was closing, "You guys had Alfredo for lunch? Dude, I am beside myself with jealousy." 

The elevator closed and now I am alone again with nobody but my reflection in the door. I sighed. 

"Alright, now that I'm alone I can work some stuff out-" I nodded to my reflection and he nodded back, "Looking good by the way, I know I called your outfit dumb as all hell earlier, but you make it look good." 

" Yeah, sure, whatever you say, weirdo . " I said at the same time as my reflection. 

"Raz? Are you doing okay?" The elevator chimed, oh that's right, the ship is sentient and always listening and watching, "Your demeanor and mannerisms peg you to be on the cusp of a nervous breakdown, but my mental health diagnostic routines display you as being only slightly peeved. " 

I gave a nervous laugh, "Really? On the cusp? I'd say that I'm not that close . Maybe just three more embarrassing moments away from a nervous breakdown." 

"Well…" Ata's voice seemed a bit unsure, but she steeled herself and her voice regained it's chipper, "If there is any way I can help, let me know. I'm still getting a hang of emotions but I'd still like to assist you. I don't want to hold you up though, you probably have about 14 to 16 minutes before the other members of your party grow concerned." 

"Let's round that to a nice and even 15 ," I started digging around my bag and moving around some pins on my outfit, "You said that you experience time at a faster pace than I do, right?" 

"Yes. It can be quite lonely sometimes," Ata lamented, "But I keep myself occupied with the ship and Motherlobe environs. Why do you ask?" 

I readied a Time Bubble before I realized that if I slow myself down and keep my brain activity at the relative accelerated rate my mouth won't move in time with my thoughts. This would probably drive Ata nuts. "Uh, is there any way I can talk to you telepathically? " 

"I do not have a brain, ergo-" Ata paused, her voice grew up-tempo as she giggled with excitement, "Oh, wait! I have thousands plugged into the Brainframe! Let me see…" The small display screen on the elevator panel lit up and showed the Hall of Brains, the array of brains on the conveyor belt moving at a quickened pace, "Here we go! Unprocessed Brain ZMW1-64H! " The large machine stopped and the brain rolled into frame, "Later on I'll ask you to transport the Brain to the ship- but for now, do you think you can reach it?" 

"Uh, maybe?" I tried getting through with clairvoyance through the security feed to no avail. This might be a bit tricky, that brain hasn't been active recently enough for me to immediately catch a Zener Field, "Is anyone in Otto's lab at the moment?" 

"Why, yes! Lori from the mail room is delivering some express mail to Otto!" The camera feed showed Lori smoking a cigarette and talking on a large cellphone while she swung a package in the air, "She… seems to be busy though, talking on her personal cellphone to… Oh, a friend of mine!" 

"Oh. My. God. Should we even be talking, then? This whole lockdown thing sounds like a pretty big deal…" Lori chuckled and rolled her eyes as she took a drag and threw the package on the desk, howling laughter rang through the phone and Lori laughed along before taking a sigh, " I know right… Senior Management loooooves finding excuses not to do any work…"