Chapter Text
The bell above the door chimes as it opens, pouring in the hot summer heat along with it. Jungwon can’t find himself to detach his forehead from the cool countertop of the check out desk.
Even with the fifty fans blowing against his sweat-ridden forehead, he can’t seem to shake the uncomfortable humidity off his skin.
“Welcome.” He doesn’t bother putting up his customer-service front, nor does he look up from where his vision is swimming as he stares at the wooden pattern of the counter at the tip of his nose.
He hears the sound of sandals slap against feet nearing closer to him. And with the years that they’ve been attached at each other’s hips, Jungwon doesn’t need to look up to know it was a certain blonde who always swung by to annoy the wits out of him.
“A sweet delivery for my sweetie!” Sunoo’s light voice brings Jungwon out of his melting misery.
He groggily looks up from the countertop and nearly sags with appreciation at the sight of a beaming Sunoo holding a popsicle in each hand. One was plain white, probably piña colada, while the other one was a sad excuse of a Minion.
“Sun,” he whines, “Thank goodness you’re here.”
Jungwon reaches for the piña colada, but in his sloth-like movement, Sunoo pulls it back while sharply shaking his head.
The blonde thrusts the melting lopsided Minion into Jungwon’s glossy face, “It’s strawberry-banana flavored. Your favorite!”
“Something tells me they didn’t run out of the regular popsicles,” Jungwon mutters to himself as he nibbles on the treat.
“What’s wrong with it? It’s cute, just like you,” Sunoo hums distractedly as he savors his own while scanning the store.
That felt like one hell of a backhanded compliment, Jungwon thinks to himself as he stares down at the lopsided yellow thing . Sunoo speaks up without paying his twitching gaze much attention.
“Y’know, it’s the perfect day to catch some waves— ,” his tone is mocking, and Jungwon is recharged enough to huff a frosty laugh, “—yet there’s no one here.”
Summer had just kicked off, and for the first two weeks of June, Jungwon had been busy helping students, families, and avid surfers alike rent out a board of their own. It’s nearing the end of the month now, and business has begun to level out—something Jungwon doesn’t know if he should be grateful or bitter for.
“Would you like to ‘catch some waves’?” Jungwon quirks an eyebrow at his best friend.
Sunoo scoffs, already done with his popsicle, yet keeps the stick of it dangling from his lips, “I’d rather not get a sunburn. Or potentially mauled by sharks.”
It was a wonder how a stick of flavored ice managed to pull Jungwon out of his slump of heat. He’s standing straighter now and is finally meeting eye-to-eye with Sunoo, who’s poking at the solar-powered hula bulldog on the edge of the counter.
Sunoo turns to look him up and down, “What’s with the surf shop gig, anyways? You know next to nothing about surfing.”
Jungwon tries not to feel guilty at the comment; however, he really didn’t know how he ended up with the seasonal position despite his lack of knowledge for the sport. His manager was probably desperate, and so was Jungwon.
“Quick buck for the summer,” he replies nonchalantly, reaching wordlessly for the stick in Sunoo’s mouth. His friend eyes at the outstretched hand before handing the trash over.
“Then why not work at the ice cream parlor? A lot cooler there, plus there’s me.” Jungwon snorts as he throws their popsicle sticks in the bin behind him.
“We wouldn’t get any work done.”
Sunoo mumbles a true, true as he rests his cheeks in both of his hands on the counter. Jungwon walks out from behind the counter, his feet leading him to the souvenir aisles and reorganizing the trinkets that several tourists misplaced.
The store is quaint and fairly small. With the many boards and surf suits on display, everything feels more cramped than it actually was. Sunoo twirls around from where he still stands at the counter, watching Jungwon fiddle with bobble heads and magnets.
“The Jungwon years ago wouldn’t want anything to do with surfing, let alone the beach.” Nimble hands still around the bobbing caricature of a shark.
Jungwon stares at the hypnotizing tempo, his eyes follow the steady rocking of the bobble head until he feels himself rocking as well. The soft crashing waves outside the surf shop flood his senses until it’s all he can hear. The humming fans and the seagulls outside feel distant and muted against the waves that crash over him.
“Won.” Sunoo’s voice doesn’t feel all that distant. Probably because he was right next to his ear, shaking him like a madman.
Jungwon frantically blinks away his daze before looking over at Sunoo, an all too easy smile brushing across his features, “What’s up with you?”
Sunoo animatedly gives him a bewildered look, “Me? You were the one looking like bobblehead shark here was gonna eat you up.”
The blonde grabs a hold of the said shark and holds it close to Jungwon’s face, imitating chomping noises. He shoves the other away, and they both share laughter at Sunoo’s shenanigans.
Jungwon goes back to mindlessly organizing the figurines and keychains with an unsure smile still attached to his lips. And although he doesn’t get paid, Sunoo decides to join him out of boredom.
“To answer your question,” Jungwon breaks the silence between them, “I thought it would be a great idea to, I don’t know, satisfy my nostalgia? Plus the beach is really nice, I mean, look at the water—”
Sunoo pauses his imitation of the bobbleheaded maltese dog to glance over at Jungwon rambling. The other definitely caught onto his small and unsure tone. He continues with his organizing in hopes that the blonde would just overlook his squeaking voice.
“When do you get off work?” Sunoo asks suddenly, and Jungwon tries not to let out the sigh of relief inside his chest.
He spares a glance towards the tacky palm-tree analog clock behind the counter, “In about an hour. Why?”
“Let’s go to the beach.” Sunoo says bluntly without as much as looking up from where he finishes aligning the last bobblehead on the shelf. He brushes the dust off on his tropical print button up, pointedly overlooking Jungwon’s slack jaw.
He grins sweetly at Jungwon, a delicate finger tapping at the other’s chin to close his agape mouth, “Being twenty feet away from the beach cooped up in a surf shop isn’t the same as actually being on the beach, Won.”
Jungwon wants to retaliate, but Sunoo cuts him off, his nonchalant demeanor melting into a desperate one, “We don’t even have to be right next to the water! How ‘bout a nice tan in the sand?”
The younger of the two shoots a deadpan look, “I thought you said you didn’t want to get sunburned.”
Sunoo waves a dismissive hand, “Umbrella, sunscreen. I’ll bring all the ice cream my discount can get! And Riki. You miss Riki, don’t you? Sure you do.”
Jungwon’s mouth opens and closes, an annoyed, yet fond sigh escapes through his nose as he tries to answer before Sunoo. With how his best friend jumped up and down excitedly, Jungwon couldn’t find himself to refuse. It’s been a minute since he and Sunoo had enjoyed their summer on the beach.
“Fine, fine,” Jungwon caves in, and Sunoo nearly squeals, but he holds up a hand to stop the elder short, “Tomorrow. After my shift.”
Sunoo looks like he wants to throw a fit, but when he meets Jungwon’s smug look, he settles for a pout and slaps his hand away with a begrudging grumble.
“Deal. Shake on it, so you can’t bail.” They share a firm and childish handshake, “Riki and I will drag you out there ourselves if you do.”
“Sure you will,” Jungwon hums to himself, though he has no doubt the two have no shame in doing just that. He tries not to let his unbothered front waver at the thought of Sunoo’s arms hooked under his own while Riki had a deathgrip on his ankles.
🌊
It’s cooler the next day, thankfully. There was a slight breeze that made the scorching sun a bit more bearable, and the broken AC in the store finally worked.
Everything’s going a little too well today, the voice in the back of Jungwon’s head says, but he still can’t wipe the smile itching at the corner of his lips. Sunoo won’t stop smothering him if he knew that Jungwon was looking forward to their beach outing.
He’s in the midst of wiping down the boards on display when the twinkling of the door rings followed by two new voices.
“Welcome,” he shouts from behind the souvenir shelves, and the voices continue their conversation without acknowledging him.
A gasp, “This board is sick .” He hears one of them say from the other side where their nicer boards were displayed.
“We’re here to get a souvenir for my mom—you weirdo! Why’re you caressing it like that—”
Jungwon peeks his head out from behind the shelf. The weirdo in question had bleached blonde hair, his back facing him as he felt up the board Jungwon had finished cleaning no less than twenty minutes ago. He tries not to let his annoyance get the better of him.
He walks up to the shorter customer, who watches his friend with a mixture of disgust and amusement.
“Is there anything I can help you two with?”
Jungwon spares a glance over at the blonde, but he continues inspecting the board up close, knocking on the surface and ooh ing at the hollow sound it makes. His friend shakes his head at the sight before turning back to Jungwon with a brilliant smile.
“Yes, actually! I’m looking for this, like—well, actually—do you have any bobbleheads that look like a golden retriever?”
He nods before walking towards the aisle he and Sunoo were at yesterday, “I’m sure we do. What about this one?”
Jungwon picks up a shaggy, white-furred dog standing on its hind legs. It swayed its hips, albeit a bit stiffly.
The guy holds it in his hands, eyes alight with mirth as he watches the solar-powered trinket move.
“I’ll just get this one, thanks!” He says with a beaming smile, and Jungwon couldn’t help but be infected with its genuinity.
He lets out an amused laugh, “Awesome, I’ll ring it up for you.”
As Jungwon made his way behind the counter, the other turned to look over his shoulder at his friend. He doesn’t even have to look up from the register to know the guy was still ogling at the same, if not the other, boards.
“Dude—Jay. We can come back another day, and you can look at that piece of plastic all you want.”
“It won’t be here the next time we come,” he whines.
His friend groans, “If you want it that bad, then get it!”
The long blonde hair whips around lightly as he pats at his pockets. He slumps, “I would if I had brought my wallet.”
Jungwon slides the bagged present across the counter just as the head full of blonde hair twirls around to face the two. His black roots peeked out from the top of his head in true surfer fashion.
It’s quiet in Jungwon’s ears. Had the power gone out again? The AC unit blasting against his back says otherwise. He stares at the other bickering with his friend before he looks up at Jungwon pleadingly.
“Could you please hold that board for me—”
His voice dies in his throat when he meets Jungwon’s wide, glossy eyes. If his hands weren’t under the lip of the counter, he probably would’ve noticed his trembling hands, too. The blonde blinks, once, twice, then another time before a mixture of all sorts of expressions flash on his countenance.
“J—” They both utter, but his friend suddenly grabs a hold of his arm, dragging him towards the door.
“Stop giving the guy a hard time, and let’s go. We have other places to go. What do you think my dad would like as a souvenir? Oh, thank you, by the way!” His friend calls over his shoulder.
Jungwon watches them leave through the glass. The quaint store dives back into its silence again, despite the radio playing softly and the whirring unit behind him. Jungwon can’t hear anything else other than his heartbeat swimming in his ears.
“Hyung,” he breathes to no one.
Sunoo looks up from the strawberry-flavored popsicle he’s eating and hums suspiciously, “You never call me hyung.”
Jungwon looks around; they’re at the beach. Families, couples, and friends alike were running around kicking up the sand around them. They both blink in hopes of willing away the grain and sun.
“And I plan on keeping it that way.”
Sunoo lightly smacks his arm with an annoyed click of his tongue. When he notices Jungwon’s untouched and melting popsicle, he frowns.
“Hey, I brought all your favorites, what’s wrong?” He scoots closer to Jungwon on their shared beach towel. The ripped and used umbrella above them creaks as the wind picks up, and the holes in the fabric filter in dots of sun rays onto their knees.
Jungwon blinks down at his melting popsicle, suddenly realizing the sweet stickiness covering his hand. He bites at the ice, but the salty and gritty taste of sand causes him to recoil and begrudgingly toss the mess back into its wrapper.
“It’s ‘cus Riki isn’t here,” he says as he gathers their accumulated trash into a bag. Sunoo’s frown grows deeper until it nearly buries itself in the sand beneath them. It was always easier to entertain rather than address his true burdens, and Sunoo knew this.
Jungwon looks over when he no longer notices Sunoo’s usual rambles and twinkling laughter. The look on his face was always one that made Jungwon feel guilty enough to spill.
He fiddles with the used tissue in his hand as he settles his downcast eyes on yet another one of Sunoo’s growing collection of tropical button ups. Today, Sunoo layered a white, long sleeve compression shirt underneath. Jungwon doesn’t know why, but the sight makes him want to crack a smile.
“I saw Jongseong-hyung today.” He reluctantly looks up at Sunoo. His petulant countenance becomes dumbfounded, and Jungwon wonders if he had the same look on his face hours ago.
“Jongseong,” Sunoo starts slowly, hand out between them as if he’s trying to keep Jungwon in place, “As in, Park Jongseong? The one who broke your heart before packing up and fleeing the country?”
Despite the undercurrent of his own undistinguishable emotions, Jungwon laughs.
“You make it seem like he committed a crime.”
Sunoo gives him a knowing look, and it accentuates his sharp-angled eyes even more, “It is a crime.”
Jungwon shakes his head fondly as he knocks their shoulders together. Sunoo finally cracks a smile, but he looks away towards the pier full of people to the left of the beach before Jungwon could catch it.
The ghost of his smile is replaced with concern, “And then what? Did you talk to him?”
Jungwon watches the emerald water ease in and out of the shore. The wind was ruthless and so was the sun. The feet that peeked out from under the umbrella became scorched, and Jungwon wanted nothing more than to dive into the coolness of the salty sea.
“No,” he says with a huff of a laugh, hoping it would carry the hurt in his lungs away with the wind and sand.
Sunoo watches as the corners of his upward turned lips fall gradually with the silence that stretches. He has that look on his face again, Sunoo thinks to himself. Where his eyes looked down at whatever was beneath him, where his dimples appeared and disappeared with the blink of an eye as he pursed his lips. His long eyelashes flutter rapidly as he brings himself up from the whirlpool of thoughts, and Sunoo just knows he’ll blame it on—
“The sand keeps getting in my eyes,” Jungwon whines dramatically as he rubs away at them.
Sunoo didn’t linger on the topic much longer after that, his hand intertwined with Jungwon’s on their beach blanket as he directed the attention to a video game he’s currently fixated on.
It was nice, to be out in the sun and sand with the sole person who tolerated Jungwon more than he himself did. And ever since they both became occupied with their own seasonal endeavors it was rare that they got to relax in each other’s presence.
He lets himself enjoy it, despite what goes on in the very back of his mind. It was hard not to when Sunoo was infectious in every way.
🌊
Jungwon stands in front of the surf board displays, staring at the same board Jongseong was ogling the other day. His eyes sweep across the sturdy wood and plastic, begrudgingly finding the faded ocean blue color beautiful.
Working day in day out at the surf shop, he’s never spared a glance towards the board until now. Jungwon feels himself slouch.
Oddly enough, there had been multiple people that day that also took an interest towards the board.
A young girl, seemingly around his age, points brazenly in the board’s direction with a toothy smile, “How much for that board?”
Jungwon had really hoped he wouldn’t be confronted with this dilemma, he thinks as he subconsciously rubs at his neck with an awkward smile towards the girl. Would Jongseong even come by after realizing Jungwon worked there?
It doesn’t matter, either way; the surf boards are always up for grabs.
“Ah, sorry. It’s not for sale.” Jungwon wants to kick himself the moment the girl’s bright smile turns into a pout.
He hurriedly steps out from behind the counter to gesture towards the board next to it, “—But this one is! It’s a lot nicer. Sunset colors are really popular nowadays, too.”
Jungwon tries not to feel relieved when the girl shows interest. And after further inspection, she ends up purchasing it, her cool and bright smile returning on her lips once again.
When the twinkle of the door fades, Jungwon drops the front, nearly hitting his forehead on the counter when he curls up in shame. Sunoo would whoop his ass if he found out.
He tries busying himself, when business begins to thin out as the sun dips below the horizon. But as soon as he recounts his unwarranted act, he’ll immediately curl up in himself with a frustrated groan.
Jungwon looks outside the glass from where he’s organizing and reorganizing the bobbleheads. The sky was aflame with reds and oranges, and the water on the beach became a mirror of the colors. It was nearing closing time, and not another person entered the shop. Jungwon was starting to think he held onto the board in vain.
Maybe he’s hoping for too much.
Jongseong, unsurprisingly, didn’t show up again until later that week.
And Jungwon—he continued to hoard the board, going as far as handwriting a “ Display Only ” sign after countless questions pertaining to the ocean blue.
“Look, Sunoo, please,” Jungwon desperately tries to explain himself to a very unimpressed Sunoo.
“‘Please’ nothing!” Sunoo exclaims, and Jungwon has to hold onto his arm in an attempt to calm him down. A family of four glance over at them curiously, and Jungwon only gives them a strained smile.
“This blondie broke your heart and ran away without another explanation, so why the hell are you even trying to give him another chance?” Sunoo presses, in a quieter voice this time.
Jungwon groans, burying his face in his hands frustratingly.
“Sunoo, we broke up, what, a year ago? Maybe two? Jongseong-hyung told me he wanted to end things because he was going to school abroad,” Jungwon explains, maybe to even convince himself, “Who am I to stop him?”
Sunoo opens and closes his mouth as he tries to retaliate, but couldn’t help to agree.
“So what if you guys broke up a couple years ago,” Sunoo says in a softer tone, and Jungwon would rather have Sunoo glare at him with his sharp eyes than sympathize with his caring ones, “It still hurts you doesn’t it? With the way you reacted to seeing him, at least.”
Jungwon didn’t want to admit it, but maybe he still wasn’t completely over Jongseong to begin with. He doesn’t cry at the thought of Jongseong (anymore), but he doesn’t necessarily feel relieved or satisfied with how they ended. He also never really attempted to find someone new after they parted ways.
God, Jungwon feels utterly pathetic right now.
“Let’s say, hypothetically, I still am hurt—” Sunoo gives him a look, and Jungwon only sends it back to him, “—what can I do about it. We lost contact ever since then, he’s probably living a different life now.”
Sunoo gives a doubtful look immediately right after. His intuition had always been scarily strong, so the look makes Jungwon feel uneasy.
“Okay. Let’s say, hypothetically , Jongseong is over you. Why would he react to seeing you again like he did,” Sunoo counters, and Jungwon swallows the lump in his throat to keep his hope at bay.
When Jungwon doesn’t reply, the family of four from before interrupt their conversation with an armful of souvenirs. He takes care of their items, apologizing profusely when he accidentally punches in the wrong buttons of the cash register.
Sunoo stands off to the side and watches him with a disapproving look.
“Have a nice day,” Jungwon’s voice cracks as he waves them away. He doesn’t hesitate to slam his entire body down onto the counter when the family is out of sight.
Sunoo gives him a sincere rub on the back, and Jungwon sniffs slightly.
“It wouldn’t hurt to talk to him, you know,” Sunoo speaks gently.
“Why should I initiate the conversation?” His pride was just getting the best of him, at this point.
Sunoo hauls Jungwon up until the younger is looking up at him with an adorable pout and red-rimmed eyes.
“Because you deserve the clarity, Won,” Sunoo starts, “and if he refuses, which I highly doubt by the way, then whatever! It’s summer time. Riki and I can help you find a summer fling.”
Jungwon stares back at him before bursting into soft laughter. Sunoo joins in and takes the opportunity to squish Jungwon’s full cheeks in his hands, much to the other’s dismay.
“Fine. I’ll try talking to him the next time he shows his face.”
“Pinky promise?”
They link pinkies with Sunoo smiling extravagantly bright. Scratch that— suspiciously bright.
Before Jungwon could voice this, the twinkling of the surf shop’s door sounds. And suddenly, Sunoo is right next to it, the incoming guest replacing his presence.
“I love you, Jungwonnie!” And he’s out the door, running past the glass windows with a childish wave.
Jongseong stands awkwardly in the middle of the entrance, scratching the back of his head.
He’ll make sure to deal with Sunoo, two-fold, later.
They avoid each other’s eyes, and the air feels heavy with unspoken words that even the AC can’t blow away.
“So—”
“About the—”
They both speak up at the same time, and Jongseong couldn’t help but laugh lightly. It sounded refreshing in Jungwon’s ears; airy and genuine. He covers it up with a cough quickly after.
Jongseong gestures towards Jungwon for him to speak first. Jungwon purses his lips into a tight smile.
“The board you wanted is quite popular. Wasn’t easy putting it on hold,” Jungwon says in a way he hopes is lighthearted and joking. With the way Jongseong looks like he genuinely feels bad, Jungwon thinks he might’ve sounded more irritated than he actually was.
“Ah, Won, sorry. I meant to come the day after, but some things—” Jongseong stops himself from continuing when he realizes, “Jungwon. Sorry.”
He laughs again, but it only adds onto the heavy atmosphere even more, and Jungwon wants nothing but to escape this situation.
“No worries,” he replies easily, and his attempt at a smile is more relaxed than before. At least, he hoped it was, “So, the board—”
Jongseong perks up again, “Oh, yeah!”
He walks over to the display to grab the board, but his arms stagger with hesitation. Jungwon watches him with slight confusion.
“Actually, what other boards do you recommend?” Jongseong asks, and Jungwon would laugh at his indecisiveness if it weren’t for their compromising position.
He makes his way over to the opposite wall of the faded ocean blue board Jongseong stands at. Jungwon walks along the wall. He really hopes Jongseong couldn’t tell he knew jackshit about surfboards.
Jungwon stops at a polished wooden board with sage green hugging the edges as an accent. It’s a pretty color, he thinks simply.
“This one.” His eyes linger on the intricate design in the center before turning to Jongseong. It’s hard to maintain eye contact with the elephant lingering near them.
Jongseong scrutinizes the board silently, his eyes inspecting the things that Jungwon definitely couldn’t see.
“I’ll take this one, then.”
Jungwon blinks back at him in surprise, and Jongseong only looks back at him with a satisfied grin. The one where his teeth don’t show—just a simple upward quirk of both corners of his lips.
Jongseong’s paying for the board, and they still haven’t addressed what they’re really thinking. The exchange felt too similar to the ones Jungwon has on a daily basis with other shoppers. He’s disappointed, in a way, but he didn’t expect anything more from their first meeting in years.
Lightly tanned arms hug the newly purchased surfboard, and Jungwon notes the same smile stuck on Jongseong’s lips. He wonders if his face is mirroring that smile. It was always a habit of his whenever Jongseong beamed at him.
The blonde in question looks back over at him, lips hesitant before they speak.
“I’ll see you around.”
Jungwon feels his lips purse again, but he relaxes them into a more nonchalant smile.
“I’ll be here,” he says.
Jongseong’s gaze lingers on him a little longer before a boyish smile graces his lips. He turns around and carries his board out the door like it belonged to him way before he had bought it.
Sunoo doesn’t show his face the next day, and Jungwon’s partially grateful, though he’s probably hiding from him right now.
It’s also his only day off today—to which he spends laying in his bed, on top of the covers, and staring up at his textured ceiling until the grooves start moving on their own. He lets out the maybe tenth sigh that day.
Jungwon’s phone rings, blaring Sunoo’s exaggeratedly affectionate voice repeating, “Pick up, pick up, pick up!”
He honestly doesn’t know when Sunoo found the time to set that as his personalized ringtone.
Jungwon snatches his phone from beside him and answers, “Speak.”
“You know I can’t bear it when you’re upset at me,” Sunoo replies with a whine, and it takes everything in Jungwon not to crack into a smile. It was always hard to stay mad at someone like Sunoo.
“Well, how did we get here then?” He rolls over onto his stomach before grabbing a figurine of a surfing dog from his night table. His manager gave it to him as a gift for being his favorite worker. Jungwon has never seen anyone else work the store.
“Because of me…” Sunoo’s voice trails off with guilt, and Jungwon doesn’t fight the smile this time—it wasn’t like Sunoo could see him, anyway.
Jungwon fiddles with the figurine, rubbing his thumb over the ridges of the form, “What strings did you pull for him to show up, anyway? I don’t remember you two being the best of buds.”
Sunoo hums on the other side of the line, “I have connections.”
As if he could sense Jungwon’s unimpressed eyes, Sunoo groans, “It was Riki. He’s, like, best friends with Jake, or whatever.”
Before Jungwon can ask more questions, Sunoo cuts him off.
“But that’s not important—what happened yesterday?”
Jungwon relays his uneventful encounter with Jongseong. He doesn’t bother leaving out any details because Sunoo was bound to find out, one way or another.
It’s quiet when Jungwon finishes talking, until a cracking sigh comes from the other end.
“I didn’t expect anything more from Jongseong,” he hears Sunoo mumble. Jungwon shakes his head fondly, “But I did from you—why didn’t you bring it up!”
Jungwon scoffs. If Sunoo were in front of him right at this moment, he doesn’t know if he could stop his hands from strangling the life out of him.
“Maybe if you had given me a heads up, I could’ve met your lousy expectations!”
With both of their personalities together, they don’t linger on the topic much longer. One tangent becomes another, and another, until it’s suddenly one in the morning, and Jungwon could hear Sunoo’s soft snores through the receiver.
It’s late, but Jungwon doesn’t feel tired. He hangs up and puts his phone on the charger before opening the door to his balcony.
The summer night feels much cooler than it’ll ever be during the day. Jungwon breathes in the salty air as he slumps against the metal railing.
The beach isn’t far from his room, and if he stares hard enough, he could see the rippling waters twinkle the moonlight back at him like a friendly smile. He had a strong urge to walk along the shoreline and watch the tides up close.
He quickly retreats back into his room when his subconscious paints a familiar figure walking with him, hand in his.
🌊
Jungwon doesn’t know what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t Jongseong showing his face at the surf shop the next day.
“Slow day?” He asks as Jungwon rings up a surf suit for him.
He doesn’t know why, but Jungwon appreciates the small talk despite his constant anxiousness to talk to Jongseong about their past.
Jungwon cracks an easy smile as he busies his hands, not quite looking Jongseong in the eye yet, “It’s eight in the morning. People don’t usually start pouring in until later in the afternoon.”
He hears Jongseong chuckle, “Guess I’m an early bird.”
He could see Jongseong lean against the counter out of the corner of his eye. His arms were perched on the chipping wood as he slouched his weight forward. Jungwon tries not to unintentionally give him the side-eye.
Jungwon wordlessly hands him the paper bag with his purchase, and Jongseong takes it. Their fingers don’t brush against each other. Each hand and finger subconsciously knew their boundaries, and both were afraid of accidentally breaching it.
Jongseong pauses, “Could I bother you to rent out a board while I’m at it?”
Jungwon tries not to make it obvious that he’s confused. Jongseong had bought the surfboard Jungwon chose out a couple days ago; why not use that?
Instead, he asks while gesturing to the boards behind him, “Which one?”
Jongseong chooses an off-white board with a black spine, and Jungwon politely explains the hourly charges. Then he’s jogging out the door with a kind wave, one that Jungwon finds himself sending back.
He doesn’t spot him again until later, when the blonde is running towards the shore in the surf suit he had just purchased. Jungwon finds himself watching him from afar and coughs whenever he catches himself snickering at the sight of Jongseong paddling the water with his hands.
At some point, Jongseong had gotten on his feet. Shortly after, though, he’d lose balance and fall ungracefully with a splash. Jungwon allows himself to laugh the more Jongseong flails his arms around in an attempt to catch himself.
Afternoon rolls around and Jongseong’s still in the water and every hour he glanced over, Jungwon could tell he was getting more used to the board.
“Beautiful day we’re having,” Sunoo says brightly the moment he swings open the door.
“Sure.”
Sunoo kicks and shakes his shoulders childishly as he whines, “I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry!”
He walks over to the counter with a pouting face in his hands, and Jungwon has to bite the inside of his cheek to not crack a smile.
“I’ll treat you to a meal.”
Jungwon blinks slowly back at him.
“...I’ll treat you to an expensive meal.”
Jungwon quirks an eyebrow, “And?”
“And I love you, and you’re the light of my life?”
The corners of Jungwon’s lips finally curl up, and Sunoo practically throws himself onto the other with his arms circling around his neck and their cheeks flush against each other. They’re both giggling and Sunoo takes the opportunity to squeeze Jungwon’s cheeks, once again, up close.
The door chimes, and a freshly changed Jongseong walks in with the sun-dried board under his arm.
“Sorry, am I interrupting?”
Sunoo glances over at Jungwon and nearly answers with a petty reply, but the other speaks up before he could.
“No, I can help you with that,” Jungwon says before taking the board from Jongseong and putting it behind the counter.
As Jungwon takes his card from him, a droplet of water falls onto his hand. His eyes flitter over to his hair—the blonde was a darker and duller color with its dampness, yet it still suits him. Jungwon tries not to dwell on the thought for long as he completes the transaction.
“Have a nice day.” He hopes it didn’t sound too strained.
Jongseong glances up at him before his lips break out into a gentle smile, “You too. I’ll see you—and Sunoo.”
Sunoo, now behind the counter with Jungwon, only sends a disingenuous smile and wave. It quickly drops the moment Jongseong is out of sight.
“Is this what you’re dealing with every time I’m not here?”
Jungwon’s busying himself by sorting through the cash register, “Pretty much.”
Sunoo clicks his tongue disapprovingly before voicing Jungwon’s previous confusion, “Didn’t you say he bought a board? What’s with the renting?”
Before Jungwon could answer, though, it seems like Sunoo formulated his own conclusion.
He gasps, “He’s trying to find excuses to see you more!”
Jungwon drops his hands full of receipts before turning to Sunoo with an incredulous expression, “What kind of nonsense are you spewing?”
“It’s not nonsense,” Sunoo says with wide and genuine eyes, “why else would he go out of his way to spend more money than he needs to?”
Jungwon takes a moment to genuinely contemplate an answer, “Because he has money?”
“ Wrong . Because he wants to see you.”
Jungwon couldn’t help but to scrunch up his face, “Well, there are other ways around that without having to spend money.”
Sunoo only sighs, “When are you going to give up that pride of your’s?”
“When he talks to me first,” Jungwon says simply.
And surprisingly enough, Jongseong does. After a whole month of spending about six hours renting out a surfboard or stopping by to purchase a random souvenir when he didn’t want to surf.
Jongseong practically slams an innocent keychain (that was probably his fifth keychain that month) onto the counter with his head low in what Jungwon could only guess as shame.
Jungwon picks the keychain up by it’s ring and inspects the blue resin inside teasingly before punching in numbers, “Ooh, this one’s cooler than the other one’s you’ve bought.”
“Can we talk?”
At this point, Jungwon had been waiting rather than anxiously anticipating those words. He sets the keychain down, and crosses his arms with an amused smile.
“Was the hula shark your breaking point? Or the ass-shaped shot glass?”
Jongseong buries his face in his palms with a groan, “The shot glass.”
Jungwon takes this time to not hide his grin, but he quickly bites it down before saying, “I’m listening.”
The surfer seems to straighten up at those words, and his gaze finally levels with Jungwon’s. This time, Jungwon holds his gaze for longer than he usually would. He doesn’t know how to feel about the tempo in his chest. Either way, it was no good.
Jongseong glances around and finds a group of teenagers approaching the shop. He looks back at Jungwon with an unwavering gaze.
“I’ll wait for you at the beach after your shift.”
Before Jungwon could open his mouth to reply, Jongseong is out the door with the wind blowing his t-shirt tightly against his front. He doesn’t have time to give it much thought as the group replaces his presence with their rowdy banter.
Jungwon looks down at the keychain that dangled around his index finger silently before breaking into quiet laughter. Jongseong has terrible taste when it comes to shopping for souvenirs.
Jongseong had kept his word and waited on the shore of the empty beach. Jungwon found him squatting near the waters and poking at the sand with a tiny branch. He couldn’t help but find the sight slightly adorable.
Jungwon quietly comes up next to him and pops a squat, his knees to his chin. Jongseong startles at his presence, but relaxes when he finds Jungwon watching his antics.
“Remember when you would sneak me out at night just to catch these tiny crabs?” Jungwon reminisces and Jongseong buries his own chin in between his knees as he smiles at the memory.
“You would refuse but always end up coming.” He digs up sand with the flimsy stick before scooping the tiny crustacean into his palm.
He hands it over to Jungwon wordlessly, and the younger takes it from him. Jongseong watches him with a soft gaze as he inspects the creature before releasing it back into the water in front of them.
Jungwon looks up, and Jongseong doesn’t bother putting up a front as he continues to drink in the boy’s presence. He seemed less stiff, but noticeably tired. It seemed like the same Jungwon he left years ago.
“Why did you come back?” Jongseong feels his easy smile mold into a more nervous one. Jungwon doesn’t look away, and Jongseong could feel his stare radiating onto his cheek.
“I wanted to visit home,” he replies simply, “I haven’t visited ever since I left, and I guess you could say I feel guilty.”
Jungwon finally looks away. Fingers that fiddled with the broken shells scattered near the shore flick the fragments away, and if he looked hard enough, Jungwon could see the tiny ripples in the soft waves.
“Guilty?” His voice is soft.
Jongseong subconsciously draws his knees closer to his chest, “Guilty. For being impulsive, for leaving home, for leaving you on short notice. Then not contacting you until now. For—”
He doesn’t finish the thought. The tiny voice of hope in Jungwon’s heart speaks for him.
Jungwon faces him again, cheek resting on his arms. Jongseong had become impossibly more charming. The sharp lines of his face are accentuated by the strong shadows casted by the moonlight, and his eyes seemed familiar yet somehow more matured.
Jungwon suddenly feels stagnant compared to him. He feels like he’s the same shell of a person, both before and after their parting.
“Do you feel less guilty now that you’re here? Talking to me?”
Jongseong looks up to find Jungwon already looking at him. The curve of his lips look like a smile, but Jongseong doesn’t know if he should translate it as a comforting one.
“I don’t know,” he says hesitantly after a while, but he can’t bring himself to look away from the boy in front of him. Jongseong likes the way the few stars in the sky twinkled in Jungwon’s eyes. Even when he blinks, the glimmer only reflects itself in his skin.
Jungwon smiles, “I don’t hate you, you know. Sure, I was hurt but, I mean, who wouldn’t be in that situation.
“I loved you. I support your choices, and I want you to know that I,” Jungwon rolls to a stop in his spiel. His voice grows quieter, and he hopes that the salty tides will pull his words away, “still care for you.”
Jungwon scratches the back of his head, the movement pulls his head the other way as he hides his scrunched up face. Talking to Jongseong with his heart on his sleeve after years feels so unnatural and awkward.
It’s quiet next to him, and Jungwon can’t bear to turn back around. He’s strongly considering diving off of the pier.
“I still care for you, too, Jungwon.”
Maybe he’ll save that for another day.
Jungwon turns around and that boyish smile is back on Jongseong’s face. It’s infectious, but Jungwon fights himself to not mirror the sight.
It’s Jongseong’s turn to awkwardly scratch at his neck now, “I always seem to think of you. It’s always ‘Jungwon would love this,’ ‘Jungwon would hate that,’ ‘it would be funny to see Jungwon try this’. Always. No matter how hard I try, I’m always thinking of you in some way.”
Jungwon feels the salt and sand prickle his eyes. All this time, he was under the impression that Jongseong had completely forgotten about him. It was a relief to know that he wasn’t the only hopeless dumbass.
“Me too,” is all Jungwon could muster, a slight stumble in his words.
He snaps out of his daze, eyes narrowing in confusion suddenly, “Why not text me, though? If I had known, I would’ve—”
Actually, Jungwon doesn’t know what he would’ve done.
Jongseong laughs good naturedly, “I think it would’ve been kind of douchey of me to text you like nothing happened, don’t you think?”
Jungwon ponders on the thought and how he was undeniably furious for a week before he reached the moping stage, “I guess you’re right.”
It’s quiet again, but they both feel comfortable in each other’s presence. He should take Jungwon surfing some time, Jongseong thinks to himself as he watches the sparkling waters.
“I’ll be going back at the end of next month,” Jongseong says softly, “But I want to spend the rest of the time with you before I do.”
Jungwon’s gaze is still on the shore in front of them, but his lips still. He wants to agree immediately, but he can already see how this will all play out.
They spend time, get closer, Jungwon falls in love all over again, maybe Jongseong will fall in love with him again too, and Jongseong leaves him yet again.
Jongseong notices his adamance with how his face subconsciously scrunches up, “Of course you don’t have to! It’s been years, and this is already a lot to take in I’m pretty sure.”
Suddenly, Jungwon stands up and Jongseong watches him warily before getting up too.
“Jungwon?”
The younger squeezes his eyes shut to will whatever’s in his heart and eyes away. He turns until he’s completely face to face with Jongseong. If it weren’t the completely wrong timing, Jungwon would’ve laughed proudly at how his eyes don’t reach Jongseong’s chin anymore.
He steps closer to Jongseong and impulsively grabs both of his wrists as he levels his gaze with the other. Jongseong stutters in confusion as he nervously smiles again at Jungwon’s odd behavior.
“You’re not playing with me, are you?” Jungwon asks, hoping his eyes don’t come off as desperate. He tries to keep his shaking voice leveled, but it was difficult with how his heart still stutters at the touch of Jongseong on top of his anxiousness.
Jongseong gazes back at him with what Jungwon can only translate as confusion and incredulousness. He goes to speak, but Jungwon continues before he can.
“What are you trying to gain from being with me before you leave?” Jungwon grits through his teeth, but he’s not angry. If anything, he’s trying his hardest not to overfill the ocean with his own salty tears.
He doesn’t even realize his grip is gradually becoming tighter until Jongseong himself gently pries his fingers off. Almost naturally, Jongseong holds his shaking hands.
“I would be lying if I said I’m not trying to gain anything,” Jongseong says between them, and he wants to bury himself when Jungwon looks up at him with glassy, red-rimmed eyes.
He settles his gaze on their hands as he continues, “I know I don’t deserve it in the slightest, but I’m telling you now: I want you. It’s stupid because I won’t get to see you until the next summer, I know. But you’re here in front of me right now, and—”
Jungwon’s arms are around his neck in a tight embrace, his light sniffles and muffled sighs are right next to his ear. Jongseong doesn’t know if he’s allowed to wrap his arms around him, so he stands there. He lets Jungwon hold him, he lets Jungwon strike his back with punches heavier than his heart.
“You fucking idiot —” he lets Jungwon curse him out, “Do you know how many times I’ve thought about you? Missed you? Wanted to fly over just to slap you in the face?”
At this point, Jongseong is starting to have a hard time breathing with how many times the wind is knocked out of his lungs from Jungwon’s fist. He can’t help the fond smile that dons his face, though, when he feels Jungwon gradually slump against him.
He doesn’t smile for long, not when he realizes just how much he’d left Jungwon, more of a mess than he’d expected. Jongseong never thought someone, especially Jungwon, would cry over him.
Jungwon’s quietly hiccuping into his shoulder with both of his arms still tightly entangled around his neck. Jongseong hesitatingly brings his own arms up, hovering over the boy just the slightest before he finally hugs him.
Jongseong could feel the sting in his heart and eyes at that moment.
He cradles the back of Jungwon’s head in his hands, huddling him closer to himself greedily, “I’m sorry, Won. No matter how many times I say it, I don’t feel any less guilty.”
There’s no response from the other, “I promise I’ll always come back from now on. I’m sorry for coming to you so late.”
Jungwon finally lifts himself away from Jongseong’s, now damp, shoulder. The sight of his puffy red and glimmering eyes is enough to build Jongseong up and awfully tear him back down again.
He doesn’t even realize he’s crying until Jungwon’s gentle fingers come up to wipe at his cheek. With Jungwon so close to him now, Jongseong feels like he’s reliving a lucid dream. His hands grab onto Jungwon’s waist lightly to convince himself the boy’s real.
That, and the debatably light slap across his cheek, perfectly convinces Jongseong that he is in fact not dreaming.
He doubles over in front of Jungwon, clutching his warming cheek, “Ah—okay, okay. I deserved that, but I thought we were having a moment—”
Jungwon’s eyes, now completely rid of tears, sparkle with something more mischievous as he looks down at Jongseong’s crouching figure with a slight smile. Jongseong was starting to get whiplash from his changes in mood.
He’s being pulled to stand up straight, meeting Jungwon’s leveled gaze. Jongseong’s still rubbing at his red cheek warily, but a strong grip on his wrist easily pulls the hand away.
The warm sting is replaced with a cool, lingering kiss. Kiss es , as Jungwon places another one for good measure. His world is definitely spinning.
Jongseong is shocked still, the rising heat climbs up his neck and all the way up to his hairline. In front of him, Jungwon only laughs at him in amusement before coming in dangerously close, yet again.
“Leave me again and next time, I won’t give any kisses afterwards,” Jungwon says threateningly with twinkling eyes and a single poke against Jongseong’s cheek.
Jongseong nods quickly.