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Pep Talk

Summary:

After leaving Buck to cool down, Eddie goes to check on Chim. He's not angry but he's not calm either. Through opening up a little, Eddie gives him an idea of what not to do.
Chim didn't realise how much of a parallel he was going through compared to Eddie and Shannon's experiences.

Notes:

If you're going to rip my ass please don't do it in the comments section or on my Tumblr I'll cry
I just saw a lot of parallels and I think if anyone can relate to what Chim is going through it's probably Eddie. Both he and Shannon skedaddled at some point because they felt they were doing the best for their family.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Yanking open his apartment door, daughter on his hip, Chimney immediately groaned. Putting Jee on the couch in her chair, he raised his hands in surrender.

“Okay, c’mon. I hurt Buck, so you’re here to pay it back. Do it quick, Fight Club, I have shit to do before I go.”

Silence. Blinking an eye open, Chim realised Eddie was leaning against the door frame. He didn’t even look pissed, but you never know with him. Especially when it’s something regarding Buck.

“You and me, Chim, we stay out of each other’s business. We’re friends, and I’d trust you with anything, but we don’t pry. You’ve never asked questions about my past, never tried to figure out whatever’s going on in my head.”

He nudged his head toward Jee.

“Okay if I hold her?”

“Sure.”

It was easy, the way Chimney responded. He watched as Eddie sat on the couch, gently clapping his hands. Jee-Yun’s attention was immediately on him, but she was eyeing her father as well when Eddie lifted her into his lap. Brushing her hair back, Eddie was careful as he played with her.

“She’s so beautiful, man.”

Putting the bundle of baby clothes on the dining room table, Chimney crossed his arms.

“Okay, Eddie, what are you doing?”

“I’m just hanging out with Jee. What are you doing?”

“Trying to pack so I can find Maddie and bring her home.”

Bouncing Jee on his knee, smiling when she burst into giggles, Eddie hummed.

“When Shannon left me, in El Paso, I took it pretty badly. I knew where she was, what she was doing, but it still hurt.”

“Eddie, man, no offence, but this is a completely different situation.”

“Is it?” Eddie challenged, “because from where I’m standing, I’m seeing a few parallels. A scared, struggling mother, trying to make things work with what she’s got. An innocent child caught up in the mix. A dad who is terrified of doing more harm than good for both his partner and his child.”

Chimney went quiet and Eddie glanced at him.

“Did I hit a nerve?”

“Yeah,” Chim huffed, “you did.”

“Good. Maybe you’ll listen.”

 

“What I’m trying to say is, I didn’t chase Shannon because I didn’t think she’d want to be chased. I’m still paying for that and it’s been five and a half years. Maddie doesn’t think she wants to be chased because she’s so scared that she’s going to hurt Jee with every waking moment they spend together. This is your chance to chase her and get her the help she needs.”

“You and Buck really don’t have any secrets, do you?” Chim murmured, Eddie held up a finger.

“Don’t deflect and I’m not done because I’ve been listening to you and Maddie for months and I’ve been keeping out of it for the sake of Buck and Maddie, but this is important.”

For someone who could come off as standoff-ish, snappy, potentially withdrawn, Eddie was also incredibly in tune with everything and everyone around him. Christopher had to get his empathy from someone, and Chimney was fairly certain that was Eddie’s doing, with the younger man standing in front of him.

“Okay. I’m listening,” He finally said. Eddie exhaled.

 

“You love Maddie. And she loves you. She loves Jee too. As much as she wants to be a good mother to her daughter, she has a lot of trauma regarding that role in her life. Her mother withdrew after Daniel died, and Maddie found that because Margaret withdrew from everything motherly, she had to step up and parent Evan- Buck. She had to parent Buck. Their father wasn’t much better because he was grieving too and fuck, I know grieving hurts and I know that shit can destroy a family, but we had no idea how hard it hurt Maddie because she’s always hidden her pain behind her little brother.”

Chimney watched Eddie get up, Jee-Yun in his arms and she shoved the corner of his shirt in her mouth. Eddie didn’t seem particularly bothered by that as he gently moved around the room.

 

“Maddie knows that she has a beautiful daughter, who she is so lucky to have, but she is so scared that she’s going to mess this up just as much as she saw her parents mess up Buck, and, to a degree, her. She put Buck back together the best she could, but her trauma and what she was went through was never addressed. He was barely a year old when Daniel died. She was nearly nine; that is the age when things start to imprint on the brain. Maddie was told to never talk of Daniel, so she couldn’t grieve like she needed to.”

Eddie moved again, apparently restless, to get Jee a teething ring from the fridge. Once she was sucking on that Eddie sat back on the couch, but his knee continued to bounce.

“When Christopher was born, I freaked out and went all the way to Afghanistan to avoid messing up my son as much as I felt my parents screwed me up. That was me being a coward. Shannon left because she felt so guilty but in reality there was nothing she or I could have done to prevent Christopher’s CP. One of the first times I saw Shannon when I moved here, she apologised for Christopher’s illness. And I couldn’t- I couldn’t comprehend that. So I shushed her, soothed her in ways I can’t repeat with a baby in the room.”

“Oh, seriously man?” Chimney grimaced. Eddie shrugged.

“It was how we avoided a lot of our problems. That’s not important, though.”

“Then what is?” Chim asked.

“The fact that Maddie loves Jee, and she ran because she loves her. Not because she wanted to hurt either of you.”

Giving Jee’s cheeks a squeeze, Eddie handed the baby back to her father.

“Don’t make the same mistakes I did and let the best person in your life go.”

Opening the front door, Eddie paused.

“And for the love of god, make sure you clear the air with Buck. He’s convinced you’re never going to forgive him.”

“Hey, wait, Eddie.”

Eddie glanced over his shoulder and Chim sighed, reaching to give Eddie a hug.

“Thanks. For everything. And, y’know, for what it’s worth- running to Afghanistan was not the worst thing you could have done. Okay?”

“Okay..”

Eddie disappeared out the door and Chim glanced down at his daughter.

“Kid, if you ever make sense of your Uncle Eddie, please explain him to me because I’ve known him for three years and I still don’t get him. He and your Uncle Buck speak a different language sometimes I swear.”

Jee giggled, farted, squirmed and then dropped her teething ring because dad’s shirt always tastes better.

“Yeah, thanks honey.”

Notes:

Come hang out on my Tumblr: cowboy-eddie !
This is short, but, y'know. So am I.
(I'm 5'6 I'm not super short technically).

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