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In his 1st life, he found his soulmate.
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Or so he believes.
Sunghoon was a prince, the second son of the king. Jaeyun was a scholar in the palace who loved sneaking out at midnight to look at the stars and the moon- he found him one time while he was coming back from his walk in the garden. Since then, he looked forward to seeing the scholar looking up at the sky, fascinated by the world.
One night, Jaeyun noticed the prince and was immediately taken aback. Scholars were not allowed to go out after their last session of studying, which ends when the pigs start to sleep.
“Y-your majesty...” His eyes widened at the sight of the prince but immediately bowed to show respect.
“...I apologize for committing such a-” The prince cut him off.
“Look up.” His pupils were shaking from fear. The prince was known to be ice cold, ruthless to his subordinates, and ready to punish anyone who dares to break the rules in the palace. But when their eyes met, he was welcomed by a kind smile.
That was the start of their countless late night walks to the garden and stargazing under the moonlight.
“You like the moon more than the sun don’t you?”
“Yes, your majesty.”
“The moon shines in a fascinating way. It provides light in the dark and it does not require us to squint when looking at it! The sun shines too bright for my eyes to look at, although I miss it whenever winter comes but I can’t appreciate it just like the way I do to the moon.” The scholar starts to rumble and the prince smiles at him. He loved listening to the scholar whenever he talks about something that sparks his interest.
“Prince Sunghoon.” A voice spoke out.
“Crown prince.” The prince and the scholar bowed.
“Why are you walking in the garden late at night?”
“I couldn’t sleep these past few days, crown prince.”
“I see, I am having trouble sleeping these nights as well. May I get the name of this scholar who is accompanying you?”
“Sim Jaeyun, your majesty.”
The scholar looked up and found the night sky reflecting in the eyes of Heeseung, the crown prince.
To say that it was hard for Sunghoon was an understatement. It was in fact painful for him to watch the scholar talk about his older brother with much more enthusiasm than when he used to talk about his love for the moon and the stars. It tugs the strings in his heart, he did not even know that it was possible to feel such pain just from listening to a person talk.
“Prince Sunghoon, I have a preposition to talk about with you.”
“What might this be, my crown prince?”
“I have decided to give up on my coronation.”
“Crown prince!” His eyes widened at the news he heard.
“I have been spending my days with the scholar and I decided to run away with him, will you please take care of the palace?” That might be the most heartbreaking request the prince had been asked of.
“Are you sure about this crown prince? I can take care of the country, but I cannot guarantee you that I can do it as well as you could.”
“You have to believe more in yourself, little brother.” His older brother patted him in the back.
A few days after that, chaos erupted in the palace. The crown prince and the scholar were missing. Everyone in the palace was desperately looking for the heir but their luck was not enough as he remained missing, only the younger prince knowing the reason why.
He ruled the country a few years later, never meeting his older brother and the scholar ever again in that lifetime.
In his 2nd life, he started having these dreams.
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Everyone thought it was ridiculous and no one believed him.
He dreamed that he was the ruler of the country and that he loved a scholar who ran away with his older brother.
In his 3rd life he kept quiet about those dreams.
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He found it nonsensical, he is merely just a merchant after all, and becoming a prince and a king was something he would never reach in his lifetime. He also dreamed about this scholar and he hates to admit it but whenever he dreams of him, his day becomes greater than it usually is.
“Dear sir, can I ask how much of these coins I should give you if I wanted this?” A boy no older than 5 asked him while holding onto an ornamental piece looking similar to the moon. He saw that smile from his dreams before.
Turns out that the 5 year old boy was also the son of his new neighbor and as he watched him grow up, his resemblance to the scholar in his dreams becomes more undeniable. Nonetheless, he was content watching the boy grow up.
In his 4th life, he already knew that those dreams were his memories from his past lives.
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He tried so hard to look for the scholar but first came his last breath before seeing the eyes of the person he’s longing for.
In his 5th one, he thought it was ridiculous.
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His eagerness to find the scholar in his 4th life had disappeared. Why did he even think of him as his soulmate? He ran away with the crown prince in his 1st life, then he was a child in the third one, and he didn’t even get a glance of him in the last one.
Soulmates, from the fictional books he had read in his past lives, are tied to your soul.
It seems like only his soul was tied to the other.
How did he even manage to be this attached when he only spent 2 or 3 years with the scholar? This is his 5th life now, his memories contain more than a hundred years worth but why was he holding onto that memory of something made in such a small amount of time?
Well, that was what Sunghoon thought. Not until the day he was doing his usual routine at the pub.
Jaeyun was drinking his heartaches away in this lifetime. His lover had to marry someone. Obviously, to someone who was not him. Why did he have to fall in love with the only son of one of the richest businessmen in their district? They needed an heir, and that was not something he could give them.
“Why was I not born a woman? I am willing to do anything a woman does in a house. I can learn how to clean and cook and, and I can even wash their clothes if they want.” Jaeyun slurred his words out while crying in Sunghoon’s shoulders.
Laugh at him if you want, but he could not dare to leave the drunk man alone in a pub where a fight could always happen. He took him home, letting the other pass out on his bed while he prepared a futon on the floor. Sunghoon let out a sigh when he lied on the warm futon. He can’t believe he just carried a grown man from the pub to the room he is currently renting. He spent 24 years in this lifetime trying to forget about the scholar only for him to end up sleeping in his bed. He couldn’t even attempt to take his own bed for himself because he does not know what kind of life the other is living and he might wake up uncomfortable on the floor . (That was the reason he came up with to try and justify himself.)
He cooked chicken soup early in the morning for the ‘stranger’ as an act of kindness. (It was NOT because he was worried that he would have a bad headache from the alcohol he had last night.)
He was NOT smiling when the ‘stranger’ woke up on his bed looking so cuddly.
The thought of waking up everyday with this said man did NOT cross his mind.
It was just IMPOSSIBLE for Sunghoon to feel anything at all when Jaeyun smiled at him and thanked him for taking care of him last night.
And NO they did not end up living together for 5 years because he couldn’t say no to those puppy eyes looking at him.
He did NOT like him in this life, he did NOT love him.
But he cried his heart out one night when he found a note on his desk written by the other.
My dear,
Sunghoon
By the time you are reading this letter I must have made up my mind.
Jongseong, the man I loved a long time ago, has recently reached out to me. He was doing well but his wife had died while giving birth to their second son. His father had died 2 years ago as well. He told me he finally has the freedom to love me this time, without anyone in his family stopping him, and with an heir to their family business.
Truthfully, I was delighted to hear this. But I couldn’t help but think about you my dear.
We have been living together for more than 5 years, and that might be the best 5 years I have had in my life. You have always made me the happiest and loved me unconditionally. I love you too, my dear. I love you so much that I couldn’t dare to look at your eyes nowadays. The guilt of thinking about another man while being with you, makes me stay up late at night. I am not worthy of your pure love and kindness.
If I ever decide to run to him, you will be reading this letter. Otherwise, if I choose to love you in this guilt, I will burn this letter.
I hope you can forgive me and love another, my dear. Someone who can give back the love you give to others.
Jaeyun
Jaeyun was cruel, too cruel. He loved Sunghoon this time but it was still not enough.
After all, Jongseong was still the man Jaeyun loved the most in this lifetime.
In his 6th life, the world was in chaos.
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Men were sent to wars, women became slaves and people did unspeakable sins that made them deserve a place in the fiery pits of hell.
He met Jaeyun in the bootcamp. Ironically, Heeseung and Jongseong were also there. He couldn’t help but let out a scoff when he saw them. The three were friends from birth, and they befriended Sunghoon in the camp. The three friends were so kind and caring that it made it hard for him to avoid them. It makes him look like a fool to hold a grudge when they have no idea what they did in their past lives.
He covered the grenade with his own body to protect the three.
In his 7th life, things were a bit better than his last lives.
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He was born into a wealthy family, a family of doctors to be exact.
Some nights he still couldn’t sleep from the nightmares his last life gave him but he still tried to focus on studying medicine for him to help in their hospital.
He was already a doctor when he met Jaeyun. Jaeyun was a patient with a disease with a cure yet to be found out. He’s a doctor, yet he can’t even help the person he loves.
It broke his heart to watch Jaeyun take his last breath, unable to do anything but hold his hand.
Now in his 8th life, Sunghoon has gotten used to waking up with memories of his past lives.
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He has adjusted to the fast-paced modern Seoul.
In this life the scholar’s name is Jake, they coincidentally met while crossing the street once. To Hoon, it felt like a cliche drama where everything moves in slow motion as he finds himself looking at the boy who was brushing his hair upwards with the same sweet warm smile. Later that day, they went to the same coffee shop sitting across from each other as it was crowded at 6PM by the office workers and the university students.
“1 iced vanilla latte and 1 black tea for Jake.” The said boy who was staring at his phone got up to take his order.
So he is waiting for someone.
He’s long given up on Jaeyun, he got tired of the 7 lives he lived choosing him. This time he’s going to love someone who will love him back. Fortunately, he found him in this lifetime in the boy named Sunoo.
“Sorry, my professor wanted to discuss something with me after my class. Did you wait long?” As if on cue, Sunoo has arrived.
“I just got here, don't worry.” The younger boy smiled and he unconsciously smiled at him too. He always makes him feel this way- giddy, happy, warm.
“I have your mint choco with me now. Do you wanna stay here or do you wanna go?”
“Let’s stay outside, it’s a bit crowded here.”
Sunghoon glanced at Jake one last time before leaving.
Maybe I’ll see you in my next life, and maybe by then.... Just maybe, you’ll choose me. But maybe I looked at the wrong light all this time. I was desperate for the moon when it was the sun who could make me warm.
“Hey Jake! Wasn’t that the ice skater, Park Sunghoon? The guy you told me you’ve been having dreams of?” Jay asked Jake, grabbing the black tea from the younger.
“Did you get his number?” His eyebrow raised in a teasing manner which made Jake scoff.
“No, and I think the guy he is with is his boyfriend.”
Jake started having these dreams the past year and every time he sees Sunghoon in it, he is always taking care of Jake and looking at him as if he was the most precious human in the world. Whether he was a prince, a merchant, his lover, doctor or a friend. In all those dreams, he felt loved by a stranger. And he didn’t want to fall for a stranger he never even interacted with.
“You know I had a dream about you too. It was so funny ‘cause in that dream we had 2 sons, Jungwon and Riki, and we were very rich too.”
“I don’t mind making that come true.”
“Wait, WHAT?”