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Sirius stood in front of a row of old townhouses that sat just across the street from where he stood. The bricks were faded with age, the paint on the doors chipping and peeling off. All the lights were turned off, leaving nothing but the old street lamps to illuminate the side walk. He was immediately able to identify the house in front of him as 12 Grimmauld Place.
The air around him was cold yet had a dampness to it. Sirius would assume it would start raining, but the sky above him was so polluted, it was impossible to tell if there were clouds in the sky or not. There were no stars to be seen—not even the moon. He recalled looking out at the dull sky as a kid, having to squint his eyes as tight as possible to be able to see even a blink of what could’ve been a star.
Looking back in front of him, Sirius closed the distance between him and the front steps. Walking up to the front door felt as if he was having an out of body experience. Ever since he’d ran away, he vowed never to come back to this horrid house. He had no reason to. He wasn’t even sure if it was actually him approaching the door in the first place.
Turning the knob, the door slowly creaked open, revealing the barely lit entrance hall. As expected, the only source of light came from the street lamps leaving the entire house in the dark.
Sirius reached for his back pocket, intending to grab his wand to cast a simple Lumos, but there was nothing to grab. It was odd for him to not have his wand, especially if he was entering the dreaded horror that used to be his ‘home’. Pushing the inconvenience aside, he stepped into the darkness.
His nose wrinkled at the horrid smell that emanated from the hall and, most likely, the rest of the building. His surroundings reeked of wet mold, yet there was nothing of the sort in sight. As far as he could tell, the house was rather well kept and pristine, no doubt thanks to the grumpy old elf who slaved away. Perhaps after being gone for almost 4 years made him unused to the smell he learned to ignore all his life. Yet still, it seemed unusual.
Stepping farther into the hall, Sirius was startled by the loud slam behind him. He whipped around, frantically looking around for the source of the noise. The front door was firmly shut, leaving Sirius in complete blackness. He couldn’t see anyone else around, leaving him to believe whoever slammed the door was either outside or it was closed by magic. A shiver crawled up his spine at the memories of his parents aggressively shutting and opening doors to corner him. He had to remind himself he wasn’t a kid anymore, they had no control over him. But he desperately missed his wand.
As his eyes adjusted better to the dark, he turned back to face the rest of the hall. Sirius hesitantly continued walking, taking a moment to peer into the rooms he passed. All of them were eerily empty, but that was obviously suggested by the lack of lighting. He didn’t want to dwell too much on each room. He couldn’t even bring himself to enter any of them, afraid spending too much time in a specific place would bring back unpleasant memories he’d rather forget.
He eventually made it to the end of the hall, presented with two staircases that both lead to equally dim parts of the house. One of them lead down to the basement which held the kitchen and their floo network. Sirius rarely went down there while he lived at the house. There wasn’t a need to, Kreacher made him any food he needed and his parents would barely let him travel be floo. He opted in taking the stairs that lead to the upper levels.
The steps creaked under his weight, no one was really able to move about the dwelling without the other occupants being aware. Although, it wasn’t like his parents even paid attention to what their children did. With his father locked in his study all day and his mother off in either the library or drawing room, what was the point in being concerned about your kids at all?
Sirius made it onto the landing of the first floor, lingering on the railing as he took in sight around him—or, at least, as much as he could. All the rooms around him were empty as well, dark and lifeless while maintaining the nasty smell despite being as clean as ever. In fact, the scent was getting stronger. Mold blending together with the earthy smell of dirt, as well as something quite sulphurous. His nose wrinkled again, but he tried his best to ignore the stench.
He decided to step into one of the rooms. The floorboards creaked louder than he remembered they did, but the sound was soon dampened as he stepped onto the carpet. Despite being only able to see about six feet in front of him, he knew the room was wide and spacious. He knew there were couches, a fireplace, and a few coffee tables and desks within the room. Sirius was quite familiar with the drawing room—the tapestry that stretched across its walls. In fact, he could almost hear his screams from the first time his parents decided to the Cruciatus Curse on him.
He reached out to feel the wall. His hand traced over the woven textile, just barely able to make out the branches and faces designed on it. The wall was cold—oddly cold. He could feel bumps and ridges of what felt like sharp rocks from underneath the tapestry, but the wall looked as flat and smooth as ever. When he pulled his hand away, the tips of his fingers chilled as if he’d just touched something wet. The wall didn’t look wet in the slightest. He hastily brushed his hand off on the side of his trousers.
Sirius stepped back from the wall, getting a larger view of the tapestry, floor to ceiling.
“NO, PLEASE! STOP!” A shrill, boyish scream shot through the house and caused Sirius to jump. His heart thrummed rapidly in his chest, frantically searching around for the person who screamed.
Loud thuds creaked the distant floorboards above his head. He recognized the heavy shoes as the same ones his father would wear, clunking around the house menacingly, waiting for one of his children to dare disobey him. There was a low grumble, a sound Sirius could only assume was talking. A pause.
“AH! STOP! PLEASE!” The shrill voice begged, followed by an ear splitting scream. Cries and chokes were the only things breaking apart deafening shrieks.
Sirius’ gut wrenched, his heart only pounding harder with shameful fear. Recognizing the source of the shouts, he couldn’t just stand around and listen. Rushing out of the drawing room, he bolted for the stairs, taking two at a time and using the railing to propel himself forward. He didn’t waist anytime in checking the second floor, quickly circling to head up the next flight of stairs.
The screams only got louder. Not only could he hear the shrillness of the boy, but also the shouts of an older man, angry and cold. With every muffled, gruff word their was another pain filled cry.
Sirius made it to the top of the steps, looking out onto the top floor landing. The floor only held three rooms, one bathroom and two childhood bedrooms. A red flash glowed underneath one of the doors, the door that lead to Sirius’ old bedroom.
“PLEASE!” A voice begged from the other side of the door, “STOP! PLEASE FATHER!” Sirius hurried over to the door, bracing the knob. “PLEASE! I’M SORRY—PLEASE DON’T—AH—”
He swung the door open, the wood hitting the wall with a loud bang. But the screaming stopped. The shouting disappeared. He could no longer hear the stomping of his father’s dress shoes or the cries of the young boy—only complete silence.
The room looked just as Sirius had remembered it. The walls were plastered with muggle posters as well as decorated with variations of red and gold Gryffindor trinkets. His bed was pushed against the wall, transfigured to replicate the four poster bed he’d slept in at school. The only difference was the dullness, as if his vision had become desaturated. Yes, there still wasn’t any light provided anywhere in the house, but it seemed as if he was seeing in greyscale.
His reminiscing was interrupted by the soft of dripping just a few feet away. In the middle of the room, staring out of the blinded window, was a boy no older than ten. His neatly trimmed black hair clung to his head as he was completely drenched in water. His clothes were soaked through, sagging off of his limbs in an oversized manner.
Sirius hesitantly stepped closer to the boy, who didn’t seem to be aware of him at all. He was incredibly still, looking physically unharmed despite the screams just a few moments earlier. Sirius had his suspicions on who the boy was and as he got close enough to step around and see his face, he recognized him immediately.
“Regulus?” Sirius spoke softly, concerned for his brother but also weary. The way he stood there like a statue was eerily uncomfortable, it made him question if he was in fact real.
His question was answered as Regulus turned his head and looked up at his older brother. His eyes were wet and bloodshot as if he’d been crying, his expression soon going from a blank stare to one of hope.
“Sirius?” Regulus’ voice was hoarse, perhaps he had been screaming after all. He reached his hands out, hesitantly touching Sirius’ arm. Once he realized that the older was actually right there in front of him, he let out a wobbly sigh of relief. “You’re here . . .” he choked out, a quivering smile trying to break through on his lips.
Sirius was confused but nodded along anyway. “I’m here, Reggie, I’m here,” he assured, placing his hands on Regulus’ elbows as if to hold him up. “What happened?” He asked as he looked the younger up and down, aware of the ghastly awful smell that had only gotten stronger. “Why are you so wet? Are you all right?”
Regulus’ chin started to tremble, his eyes brimming further with tears. Sirius remembered the nights where Regulus would come to him during a storm or after a nasty dream, the same expression spread over his features. “Why didn’t you come sooner?” He asked meekly, barely above a whisper, “Where were you?”
“What do you mean?” Sirius grew more concerned by the minute, feeling Regulus’ legs start to wobble beneath him. “I’m here now.”
“No,” Regulus’ voice cracked, tears falling down his cheeks and joining the water that covered him, “no, no, no, no, you’re too late!” He choked out, hands gripping desperately on Sirius’ shirt. “Where were you? Why didn’t you help me?”
Sirius’ gut lurched at seeing his little brother looking so distraught. “Too late for what, Regulus? What’s wrong?” He held on tighter to him, both of them clutching each other as if they’d be ripped apart at any moment.
Regulus looked up at Sirius pleadingly, “Why didn’t you help me?” He repeated, begging him for an answer, “Why didn’t you save me?” The tears continued to flow down his face, legs shaking as he was no longer able to hold himself up. Regulus started sinking to the floor. No, when Sirius looked at the younger’s legs, he could see he was sinking into the floor. His shoes were already completely swallowed by the hardwood planks that looked more liquid than solid. “Help me, Sirius, please!” Regulus begged.
Sirius held tightly onto Regulus’ arms, “I’ve got you, Reggie, I’ve got you!” He assured hurriedly, his grip loosening against the slick fabric. Out of fear his hand might slip, Sirius reached out to grab Regulus from his under arms, but the movement only caused him to sink further. The wood molded around Regulus’ legs as he slowly sunk past his calves. Hands emerged from the floor, pulling him down harshly, tearing at his trousers and the hem of his shirt.
“Sirius, please!” Regulus pleaded through rough sobs, trying to grab onto him tighter. “Help me, please! Don’t leave me!” He tried to kick his legs but the struggle only aided the hardwood.
Sirius tried to haul Regulus up as hard as possible, but each movement only worked against his favour. Soon enough Regulus was emerged up to his stomach, wooden hands ripping up his top and scratching at his skin, reaching out and pulling at his arms. Sirius desperately wished he had his wand, feeling helpless as he didn’t seem to be doing anything against the possessed flooring.
“Sirius!” Regulus practically screamed as the floor consumed up to his arm pits, the hands wrenching his arms down. “Please! Don’t let go!” He sobbed, hands slipping away from Sirius as his arms were pulled into the not-so-solid wood planks.
“No, Regulus!” Sirius frantically searched for something to grab onto, but all that was left was Regulus’ panicked, tear stained face that was about to be completely submerged.
“Siriu—” Regulus cried out before being cut off, now lost to the wood bellow.
Sirius clawed that the floorboards, splinters forming underneath his finger nails as he tried to dig his brother out from the solid flooring. The room was consumed by the quiet, all that could be heard was his rough panting from his attempts to retrieve what had been lost.
“No, no, please!” He begged desperately, no one around to hear. Sirius couldn’t lose his brother, no matter terms they might’ve been on, he couldn’t even imagine a world without Regulus.
Tears slipped down his cheeks as there seemed to be no chance of reactivating the liquidation of the wood to bring back his brother. The house had consumed Regulus, just like it had when they were in school, only this time, he was quite literally apart of its walls.
Sirius didn’t stop his clawing, which eventually turned into pitiful pawing, until he heard the footsteps. Looking up to the doorway of his room, he half expected to see an angry Walburga or Orion come to punish him, as they had done many times before. But, to both his surprise and relief, it was Regulus who was walking down the landing.
Regulus was significantly taller than what he’d been a second ago. Heavy droplets dripped from his drenched clothing, this time he was wearing his Hogwarts robes, which appeared to be slightly torn. Judging by his appearance, Sirius guessed he must’ve been around 15.
Regulus didn’t stop to look at Sirius in his room, in fact, he didn’t seem to notice him at all. His eyes were glossed over, looking straight forward, as he was muttering something under his breath.
“Traitor, traitor, traitor…” he repeated in a monotone voice, sounding robotic—almost as if he’d been possessed.
It wasn’t until he passed his room that Sirius finally stood up, taken out of his surprised state, his relief turned back into worry. He rushed over to the doorway, looking out onto the landing just in time to see Regulus turn into his own room. A trail of water followed behind him, forming small puddles that sploshed when Sirius stepped forward.
He looked down at the water that pooled shallowly at his feet. It was slightly mucky, having a dark hue to it, it also protruded the horrific smell that lurked through the rest of the house. Sirius stepped aside, standing closer to the wall as to avoid the liquid.
Setting the puddles aside, Sirius focused his attention back onto Regulus. He strode across the hall and quickly entered his little brother’s bedroom.
He hadn’t been in the room in a long time. Once the brothers’ relationship had fallen apart, they steered clear of each other as much as possible, which included avoiding the other’s room at all costs. But, he still remembered how it was smaller than his own, how the walls, windows, and bed were plastered with emerald and silver and a numerous amount of snakes.
Now, unlike his own, the room was completely barren. The walls were stripped of any wallpaper, the floor was left uncovered, and all the furniture was gone. The room was nothing but an empty square, devoid of any evidence of habitants. And, opposing the rest of the lightless house, the windows were left clear of drapes, letting the room be illuminated by a faint but effective blue light.
The gleam of the streets outside casted into the room and landing brightest in the centre. The window acted as a spotlight, causing Sirius to realize he wasn’t alone in the room.
On the floor laid a body. Just like the others, soaking wet. His clothes clung to his body which was disturbingly still, his arms and legs bloodied with scratches as his sleeves and bottom of his trousers were completely torn up. His eyes were rolled back in his head, the whites matching his pale gauntly features. Spilling from his mouth was an inky black liquid, it stained his tongue black and smeared across his lips. The tips of his fingers were tinged with the same substance, as if he’d tried to desperately claw the liquid from his mouth.
Sirius was unable to move, completely stunned as he stared at the corpse of his younger brother. All thoughts had left his head, he felt like an empty husk of a person—as if he’d left his body completely.
He didn’t know how long it took for the image in front of him to fully sink in, but when it did, Sirius dropped to his knees. His jaw went slack, perhaps attempting to let out a sort of distraught scream, but no sound managed to come out. The silence in the room became unbearable, his ears began to ring, loud enough to the point where they had became plugged.
Sirius lifted his hand, reaching out to touch the lifeless body in front of him. The farther he stretched out, the shakier his hand got. It settled on Regulus’ cheek, his skin was so cold it practically burned.
All the air had left Sirius’ lungs, he couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t move. He sat still, hand clutched on his brother’s dead cold cheek, in room that seemed to grow wider and emptier.
Sirius had always said that Regulus would die if he stayed with their parents—with Voldemort. But never had he believed it would come true so soon. A part of him thought he’d never have to see it all, that if anyone were to die so young, it would be him. He was the reckless one, after all. Sirius wished he’d been wrong, he wished more than anything to take back everything cruel, insensitive thing he’d ever said.
The stillness of the room was interrupted when Regulus started sink. Just like in the other room, the floorboards acted like a liquid and dragged Regulus into them. But, unlike the young boy, he did not struggle. He was already dead. There was nothing he could do. But Sirius could do something, or try, at least.
“No,” Sirius croaked out, barely even audible, as if he hadn’t spoken in years. Grabbing Regulus’ shoulders, Sirius attempted to pull him up. The fabric of Regulus’ shirt stuck to the wood beneath him, glued to the spot where he laid, already fusing to the floor. This was used as leverage to pull Regulus further, deeper.
“No,” Sirius called out louder, “no, no, no!” He pleaded desperately, reaching around the body in attempt to find any sort of solution to hoist Regulus away from the floor. But he was sinking too fast, his skin already caught by the wood.
Tears welled in Sirius’ eyes, blurring his vision in frustration and crippling desperation. “Please, Regulus!” He begged, shaking his unresponsive body, “Please, please!” Croaks broke up Sirius’ speech, his words separated by hiccups and rattled breathing. “Get up, get up, get up! Please, Regulus! Please, move!”
His pleads were useless as Regulus sunk further, his face being the only thing to breech the surface. Sirius continued to grasp at whatever he could, hands hopelessly holding onto Regulus’ disturbingly cold features. But, soon enough, there was nothing left to reach out to.
“No! No, no, no! Regulus!” Sirius screamed, searching for a crack in floor beneath, something, anything to get his brother back. “Come back! Please, please! Regulus!” His throat went raw with ruthless yelling and begging. Tears flowed down his face and blinded him. He blinked profusely to try and see, but it was no use. It didn’t take long for him to just close his eyes, seeing as there was no point in keeping them open. He curled against the floor, sobbing and crying out for a brother that wasn’t coming back.
“Sirius?” A soft voice called.
Sirius’ eyes flew open. He was no longer in the empty room. Instead, he was lying back on a comfortable, plush surface—a bed, his bed—staring up at a plain, barren ceiling. It took him a moment for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, once they did, he was able to make out a figure next to him, reaching over to turn on a lamp.
“Sirius, are you alright?” A scarred face asked, contorted with concern as he leaned over him.
“Remus?” Sirius breathed out.
“Are you alright?” Remus asked again, bringing up a hand to brush the tears off of Sirius’ cheeks. “You were shaking and crying . . . was it a bad dream?” He still spoke softly, not wanting to scare Sirius with any loud or abrupt noises.
Sirius slowly nodded his head, feeling his eyes beginning to well up again at the thought. He couldn’t bring himself to speak, his throat felt raw, as if the screaming in his dream had been real. Perhaps it had.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Remus offered, pushing a loose hair behind Sirius’ ear. He shook his head in response, even if he could speak, he wouldn’t be able to relive that experience so soon, if at all.
“Here,” Remus whispered, shifting closer to Sirius and wrapping his arms around him. Sirius sunk into Remus’ embrace, focusing on his warmth, the sound of his heartbeat, anything to distract him from his own mind.
They both stayed huddled together, the warm, yellow light of the lamp keeping Sirius’ thoughts away from the darkness of his nightmares. Because that’s all it was, a nightmare. Another horrid dream linked to his family that had come to haunt him. This wasn’t the first time, and Sirius knew it wouldn’t be the last. But he found the smallest scrap of comfort knowing it was just a dream.
~*•*~
The next morning, Sirius woke up feeling quite a bit better than he had the previous night. Remus had woken him up with the promise to make breakfast, having become a bit of an early bird since they’d graduated from Hogwarts. Sirius was still anything but.
Despite his want to fall back asleep in their warm and comfortable bed, he found that moving on with his day was the best way to walk off a nightmare. Although, he was disappointed to find the images were still quite vivid in his mind.
Sitting up with a groan, Sirius swung his legs over the edge of bed in order to stand up. He stretched his arms above his head, his warm, tattooed skin tingling against the cool morning air of the room.
Walking out of the bedroom, Sirius was immediately faced with the sound of bacon sizzling on the stove as the smell of breakfast filled their small London flat.
“Finally awake, yeah?” Remus greeted from the kitchen, pan in one hand and a spatula in the other.
“Good morning to you too, Moony.” Sirius said with a smirk, walking over to lean on the counter next to him. “Smells lovely.”
Remus scoffed at Sirius’ sly tone. “It better ‘cause I’m doing it the bloody muggle way.” He said as he struggled to flip over a stop of bacon that appeared to just be on the edge of being burnt.
“Just as a proper housewife should!” Sirius mocked with a shit eating grin plastered on his face.
“Fuck off,” Remus chuckled, smacking Sirius against the arm with the spatula.
Sirius rubbed his bicep in exaggerated hurt, “Ouch, Moony!” He complained dramatically, failing to hide his smirk as he wiped the grease off his arm. “How unsanitary as well.”
Remus scoffed again, refocusing his attention onto his cooking. Silence stretched between the two as Sirius took a seat at their little table that just barely fit four people. A fifth chair was squished into the corner, for when the whole lot of them came over. Which was very often.
“So,” Remus broke the silence, “about your dream last night.” They playful airiness left Sirius at the reminder, “Do you, y’know, want to talk about it?”
Sirius held his breath for a moment, collecting himself and forcing the memory as far down as he could. “After breakfast . . .” He muttered.
Remus waited a beat before nodding, “Alright.” Just as he was about to turn back to the stove, a light tapping came to the nearby window. Sitting outside the glass, perched on the windowsill, was a small brown owl with a newspaper strapped to its foot. “Could you get the paper, Pads?”
“On it,” Sirius said as he strode over to the window, a knut in hand for the owl. He opened the window and grabbed the paper, the little owl flying off with the knut soon after the window was shut.
Sirius gazed down at the Daily Prophet in his hand, freezing mid-step upon reading the headline of the front page.
Remus noticed the other’s stillness. “What is it, Pads?”
The paper dropped from Sirius’ shaking hands, landing on the floor with a flop.
The headline read: